(2011/02) Feb 2011


felpoo,

Cool down babe..... don't be angry, no good for health.

Maybe you can check with your hb what's the reason he does not want to engage CL? He prefers privacy? $$$ issue???

I think sometimes man really need some spanking to wake them up. Ego is one thing, in this new age and time, we have to be pratical and realistic also.



I informed my hb he die die have to go thru the delivery with me. I want him to see how much I suffered. But i did tell him pls do not look at me "down there". Initially he promised, but when gynae asked him does he dare to see and does he wants to witness bb popping out, he jumped at the chance.



The reason why I asked him not to look "down there" is because I have a friend whose hb seen the whole delivery process and dare not BD with the wifey, think its physicological issue. Need to go couselling, its that bad!



But i totally agreed that hb treasure me more after he has seen thru the delivery, even told me after my delivery that no more #2 (I had long labour >15hrs). But all these I think he had long forgotten...

 
SLim, your girl's very funny. Ask you that question. Children at times can ask very amazing questions!



Amazing, you are right! Haven't been in the forum for a long time. Partly, i also need to catch up with some of my work.



I'm taking off later. I'm having headache, stiff neck and shoulder, stuffy nose, stomachache and leg cramps all at the same time. Yday, I was still telling my colleague I'm feeling so much better and you see what's happening now. I feel so miserable. Shouldn't open my big mouth at all!

 
felpoo,

Cool down babe..... don't be angry, no good for health.

Maybe you can check with your hb what's the reason he does not want to engage CL? He prefers privacy? $$$ issue???

I think sometimes man really need some spanking to wake them up. Ego is one thing, in this new age and time, we have to be pratical and realistic also.



I informed my hb he die die have to go thru the delivery with me. I want him to see how much I suffered. But i did tell him pls do not look at me "down there". Initially he promised, but when gynae asked him does he dare to see and does he wants to witness bb popping out, he jumped at the chance.



The reason why I asked him not to look "down there" is because I have a friend whose hb seen the whole delivery process and dare not BD with the wifey, think its physicological issue. Need to go couselling, its that bad!



But i totally agreed that hb treasure me more after he has seen thru the delivery, even told me after my delivery that no more #2 (I had long labour >15hrs). But all these I think he had long forgotten...

 
Thanks for all the feedback! Hmm, still have to wait a while longer to buy bb stuff then...



felpoo: the link is sure informative, thanks!



For me, we will most probably get a CL, as we would need all the help we can during this period, and to take the confinement food to build up body.. Think it's gonna be quite ex though, as my EDD falls within CNY period...



Was pretty upset with my MIL the other day.. She told me that after giving birth she wants me to go and work full time as she wants to take care of bb. She wants us to put bb at her place, and we can only brings bb home on weekends! We would also need to get a maid for her to do all the housework, as she needs to take care of bb!



When I told her that I want to be a SAHM and take care of bb ourselves, she insists that we have no experience and sure cannot cope.. So upset with her words [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
HELLO BPC, long time no see.. by the way, what's BD uh? Oh, the other day his mum said she wants to recommend a CL who is 70 to me, which I said no. Too old and I mentioned to my husband and I think I talked to him at a wrong time. He then casually made a remark saying what's the big deal abt getting 1 which I told him during my 1st child, my stitches during the episiotomy took me more than 1 month to recover. At least, he shut his mouth up.



And as for him going into the delivery room, he's afraid of blood. Then he told me that if he see what's going through the whole pregnancy, he said he cannot 行房 with me! As you mentioned lor, physicological! I thot he's giving excuses leh. Your friend's hb really go for counselling, so serious :eek:?



Then tht time, when he went inside there, all he did was irritating me to no end. Kept stroking my forehead and reassuring me and that's when the contractions started to kick in. The pain was terrible. Then my gynae asked him whether he wants to go out. He immediately ran out! This time round, I might not want to take epidural and I m going to scream down the hospital and let him know how much pain I'm in if he's really not going inside the room.. *snickering*

 
Melody, is your hubby alright with the arrangement of you being SAHM? If so, get your hubby talk to his mum.



If you ask me, maybe ur MIL is very anxious and excited about the arrival of the baby. If she wants to take care during the day, I think it's fine but not allowing you to bring back the child every day, I think it's not reasonable. How old is ur MIL? Actually, a baby is the most easier to take care. Eat and sleep. Nothing much to do except the nite feed. But I hope ur MIL doesn't rely on the maid to make the milk.



Yeah, getting a CL during CNY is abt 3k but my MIL told me the CL she recommends costs abt 2.1k and can stay at nite. And somemore S'porean. Where go such cheap deal? Then when I hear her age, I almost fainted!

 
Sorry for the double post.



Felpoo,

BD = have sex [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

Ya true case, my friend's hb dare not BD coz he is afraid of hurting his wife after he had seen thru the whole preganacy process. He keeps shunning my friend off and it was nearly 1 yr that the finally sat down to talk about this problem. Realising that this is indeed causing a strain between them, and the hb wiling to put his pride aside, they seek doc & professional help.



Hahah.. i was smiling away when i read your post about your hubby's behaivour in the delivery room. My hb also kanna scolded by me cause he kept asking "is it painful?" I nearly scolded the F* word lor, of coz its painful lar. The midwife was supressing her laugh lor.



Melody,

Your mil very shrewd and smart leh. Then how u gonna deal with her? Ur hb agree with your decision?

Initially I also thot that I can leave my bb at mil's house and have a 1-2days get away with hb every week. But I cant bear to do so, my plan flopped!

 
Trinket, not so easy to deal with MIL one. U see Judy's case then u know. I think it's Judy, right?



She told us her MIL wants to do confinement for her but can only do 14 days!



Judy, btw, have you spoken to your hubby yet on the CL? On your bday, you should have make a wish that your hubby will listen to everything what you say! That was my bday wish last year .. hehe ..

 
trinket, my MIL likes to insist things her way, and so she had everything all 'planned' out.. she tries to psycho me by telling me that i got qualifications, dun waste it etc... then say it will be tiring for us to bring bb hm everyday when she take care of bb, so we can only bring bb hm on Friday nights blah blah blah.. even my hubby calls her 'empress dowager'.. hahaha



My mil will sure bring this up again, will stick to my stand no matter what...



felpoo, ur hubby seems more afraid than u.. talk to him abt it, tells him you needs his support and psycho him till he agrees!

 
BPC, but I still dun understand what's the long form for BD leh.



Yeah lor yeah lor .. very irritating right? I think that's the only time I can get to see my hb's face went pale after he can feel the pain I was having. Come to think of it, also quite funny. So are you going for epidural this time round? I dun know whether I can tolerate the pain.

 
felpoo: hubby and i have come to a conclusion.. i also spoke to my MIL about our wishes.. haha.. we have decided not to have CL, partly bcos hubby persuaded me into it, and also partly cos its costly around CNY period.. 14 days.. not much diff to me but she has told me after that whatever i want to do(hire CL, confinement catering or what) up to us. hubby has seen how difficult it is for me during my very bad MS and he now has been very nice to me.. dont knw how long that will last though. hahahaha!

 
melody23: its very irritating when MILs try to take matter into their own hands and override our feelings and wishes.. i understand they have the experience, but we have to learn to.. i think unless ur MIL is those very adamant kind, u can try talking to her in a nice tone. worked for my case.. at first abit awkward lah but now she seems to take heed of my comments..

 
felpoo, my hubby is ok with me as a SAHM.. After I got pregnant, I am no longer working due to my MS etc.. Finances is not much of an issue, that's why my MIL dare to suggest we get a maid for her...



She din suggest doing confinement for me though coz got lots of stuff to done that month..



BPC, u r right! She sure is smart. Actually I try to go according to her wishes everytime, but not this time. Hubby agreed with me, lucky to have his support..

 
felpoo, having a 70 yr old CL is really kua zhang, u might even have to take care of her.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] my mil is around 60...



judy, my mil is err quite stubborn, hopefully she will listen to hubby...

hope our ms will go off soon!





SLim, thanks! will check it out!

 
felpoo,

melody has answered ur query about BD [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

Well, I sure hope I can go epidural free this time round, but if really need be will still go for it, dun wanna upset myself with pain. With #1, I had real long labour and after administering the epidural, I tell you, how damn shiok I am. Can sleep, can answer all the calls from family and friends and can even joke with midwife.



Melody,

Like Judy and felpoo have said, dealing with mil is not easy. I am staying with my in-laws and only goes back my own house during weekends. So I really have to learn to close 2 eyes at times. As long as mil does things not too overboard, I am ok. All in all, so far my relationship with mil is "hu xiang li ran".



Eg: when son having fever, mil taught me to give lin yang but must space apart with western med, I learn to accept it. As long as can bring down the fever.

I have a friend whose mil insisted that traditional method of pasting slice fresh yam on the forehead of the kid can bring down the fever, can you imagine the sight? My friend was blowing off when her mil did not dutifully feed the child med and paste the slice yam all over the kid's forehead!

So I learn to appreciate my mil lor, at times she can get on my nerves too. But i believe i too gets on her nerves on some issues also [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
BPC, it sure is not easy for u to stay with in- laws, ur tolerance level must be really good.. For me, I dun think I can actually do that..



For eg. My mil offers to come to my place to cook when I was having bad nausea, and I agreed and appreciate her kind gestures. She asked if I have got MSG at home, and i told her we dun take msg. So she brought along 1 bottle of msg and add so much into the food that all had that msg taste. In the end, i threw up almost immediately after every meal she cooked. She said she do not know how to cook without msg. After 1 week, she decided not to come and cook anymore.



Whenever she comes over, she would ramage through our stuff, even my dresser where we keep jewellery, cash and stuff.. She would tell us where we should put certain things and do reno (such as repositioning our kitchen ventilator etc)..



She would also go through the laundry basket and take out only my hubby work clothes, and insist on bringing home to scrub them as she felt that even if we use washing machine and bleach etc, it is not as clean as her washing. After washing, she would bring back and bring it to my nose and tell me to smell the softener she used and tell me how clean the clothes are... And says things like 'washing my son's clothes is my responsibility' etc..



Sometimes, i think she wants to show me she is in control, so most of the time i just let her be..

 
Melody,

Same here, just let her be.

I come to understand that mil has been a housewife all along and doing housechores and cooking are her pride so we cannot never step on these territories. So sometimes, I will praise mil when she whips up good dishes, put myself lower saying i can never achieve her skill lor. (in order to plus points :p)



For the MSG part, my granny also like to use MSG, can never understd y!!! My mil loves to use Yu Lu (dunnoe wat is it called) for favouring. Maybe u can try to slowly slowly influence her to use natural favouring, for the sake of health.



Hahah.. ^5, mil cannot see eye to eye with me on how i do my laundry also, so my hb's + bb's clothing all she wash. I do my own laundry. We are happy with the arrangement [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
MElody23,



ABout yr MIL, I don't think she had any experience when she first had her children too, so how can she assume you won't be able to cope?



Everyone learns on the job.

Maybe you can welcome her to help out like asking her to come over to yr home and let her take over babysitting for two hours a day so you can have a break.



I think you will miss your BB too much if you only see BB on the weekends!

 
BPC, everytime she will ask me her cooking nice or not, i always say nice, but later nausea and puked everything out.. so now she knows i bluff.. hahaha



my FIL and my SIls all dun like to use msg, and she complained to me abt them, so I dun think can influence lah, she sure also complain me to them..



bigflamingo, i dare not talk back to her like that.. She knows i help my mum to take care of my niece and nephew before marriage, but she has her own way of thinking and will not change mindset easily...



The thought of seeing bb only on weekends is too much to bear, I will definitely want to see bb everyday!

 
melody



yr mil will be perfect for those mums who like to have as little responsibility as possible. and still maintain their lifestyle of going clubbing etc at night on weekdays.



but kudos to you, you want to be a responsible mummy. so cannot let her just take over yr baby like that! good thing yr hubby agrees with you.



maybe when yr MIL had her kids also her MIL looked after and she was working?

 
trinket, guess all mummies would want keep bb by their sides... will stick to my stand this time.. guess hubby also wont bear to hv bb away from him, he has been talking to bb for a few moments every night before sleeping..



My mil looks after own kids when they are young, only when they are older and schooling, then she works, but her mil did not take care of the kids.. Her mil and her not close at all..

 
hi Melody



its nice to hv someone who offer to lend a helping hands when the new bb arrive as u need plenty of them.



I was a working mum when my darling is born and i panick as i'm afraid that there will not be anyone taking care of her.



When my MIL offer to bbsit her, I'm so greatful. Elderly usuaully has a great deal of experience and of cos, not all of them are up-to-date ones LOL.



Hence, for my darling, I refresh my driving skills (which I did not use for the past 10 yrs) and started my journey from Bedok to AMK in the morning and back at nite.



Let your MIL knows that u wld like to hv ur bb at nights and she can hv a gd rest at nite too ">

 
Hi mummies,

What a nice weather today, how i wish i can sleep in late. Whole nite with bizarre dreams, dreamt I went marathon running, ran half way say my son riding on his tricycle. I can't jump possibly dump him and run own my own, so I carry him and the tricycle and ran, then got chased by a herd of cows... was damn tired when I woke up!!!



Baywater,

I ditched my driving license aside for >8yrs, now trying to physco myself to pick up driving again. Hb was saying, he have to watch the road and watch over me driving, very stressful!!! What a wet blankie!



Melody,

Maybe u can check with your mil whether is she ok to help you take care on fri while you can go have dinner or catch a movie (go pak tor) with hb. You fetch bb late, can have some private time with hb and ur mil get to play/tk care of bb.

 
Morning everyone. Heavy rain outside, please walk with caution on the super wet ground.



Having been feeling depressed and weeping to myself everyday. Dunno izzit becoz pregnant tat's why so emo or becoz i still can't find a job.

 
BPC



dun pick up ur licence. After i've pick up mine, my H happily throw the car to me to bring my girl to n fro everywhere n he's absent most of the time.



Now I'm on the road more often than him. Sigh. Trick by him. Even I'm hvg ms, I still need to drive my girl to school, enrichment class etc.

 
Charmaine,

It must the hormones creating havoc.

Dun be depressed babe, but sometimes its good to have a good cry.

suggest after you cry out ur misery, see some nice pictures. Pics of cute babies, nice scenery or watch a comedy.

You won't want to have a frowning bb rite...

Smile babe, today is friday [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

Mmm.. have you consider for temp job for the time being if really unable to find perm job?



Baywater,

I am happy now with hb chauffering, will stay status quo for the driving status and enjoy while i can. But will pick up sooner or later lor.

 
morning mummies! itss such a cld weather today! take care all!



felpoo welcome back! hope all your busy stuffs r settle!..



char: yea havent seen ya posting also...what happen ? huggies..what makes yr tears drop??

dont stress yrself voer the job..i think now pregnancy even harder to find a job cause if start a job now den need go maternity..most company consider that...how abt trying to see if there is part time kind?

cheer up..when i cry cause i miss my hubby (he is overseas) he always say i make baby sad.

so dont cry cry kk...mus remind yrself to be happy!



littledevil: wah...not sure what is that..u checked with yr gynae??



melody : yea i agree...will hope baby by our side..glad yr hubby supports yr decision

 
Morning everyone... such a great weather to snuggle in bed...



I went for my blood and oscar tests yday. Thankfully, bb was rather cooperative. Scan took about 20min and sonographer took about 30 pictures in all.

 
Hi BPC, u r so funny! Actually I had a bad but quite freaky dream last week too. I dreamt I lost my baby [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] the bb came out when i went toilet, then hoh, bb grew after it came out haha!!! I know I was very very sad in the dream.. couldn't sleep for an hour+ after I woke up.



Hi charmaine, now that you are preggy, you can't join the workforce too, so don't think too much about work. Enjoy the tai-tai days you have for now. I wish I can stay home hahahha!!

 
BPC, amazing miracle, thanks alot. Have been sending out resumes everyday with intentions to look for a temp job. But after talking to so many agencies/recruiters, seems like my chances are slim just becoz i'm pregnant. Nobody called back again.

 
Morning babes!



Nice cold weather today!! Love it!!



baywater, bpc: I did mention to mil regarding bringing bb hm everyday, she told me a flat 'no' already [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] i dun think she want look after bb on weekends based on my SILs experiences, as she will be gg out and her condition of taking care of bb is to have a maid for her..



hubby is my chaffeur now too.. am also thinking of starting to refresh my driving skills, havent drove for years! Scared scared leh...



charmaine: look at the positive side, take it as a break during this period.. at the same time, send as many resumes as u can, the more u send, the greater the chance.. if u have the interest, can consider giving tuition or something, at least it provides a good income and on a part- time basis...



faithnhope: wow, 30 pics alot! do u get to keep them all? tummy scan? I hate v scan...

 
Hello mummies!



I went for my 2nd gynae visit on Wed, which is the 11th week visit. Baby is well. It's so reassuring to see the little baby shape and see the heart beating inside [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] my gynae also asked if we wanted to know the sex, and he said that he may be wrong, but he thought he saw the little thing- so it's probably a boy! We're hoping he's right!



Started taking natal care plus (fish oil, for DHA), obimin (multi-vits) and am continuing my folic acid (since I have so much supply). Going for the scan component of my OSCAR next wed.



Next thing on my hubby and my agenda is car shopping! The car we currently share is a relic from my swinging bachelorette days, it's a 2 door convertible with 2 tiny tiny back seats- impossible to fit a baby car seat in. I really love my car and will be sad to see it go but I guess its time has come, and it's time for me to grow up! Looking for a yummy mummy car now!

 
Hi melody, yah it's tummy scan. I wld think I get to keep all images ba... the sonographer will sent to my gynae first. I guess I will only see all of them at my next visit.

 
Hi Cherry, in the past, my hubby and I were also thinking of getting a car when I preggy and now that I am, the COE is so atrocious! Think we'll have to give up the idea of getting a car.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
faithnhope, I agree! It's a terrible time to buy a car now, sigh! Unfortunately I've had one for 5 years now and am totally spoiled, can't live without one. It's like a handphone, before you had one you could live without but once you get one, you can't imagine life without one. We're looking at second hand because the new car prices are insane. $100,900 for a Honda Civic 1.6, can u imagine?



Anyway, how would you transport a baby around without a car? Pram + baby stuff is alot to lug around on public transport.

 
Wat??? $100k for a Honda Civic?? I'd get a VW polo instead then hahah!!



Yah, I understand the reliance.. though I do not own a car but can understand.. hehe..



As for transporting bb.. will have to rely on cabs for the time-being loh... I know it can be difficult to get cab even through phone booking but what to do... we'll see how when the time comes.. hehe

 
Don't buy a polo or any other hatch. When you have a bb, it's not practical. I have a friend who had to get rid of his new Honda Jazz cos no matter what he did, he couldn't fit his pram in the boot. Get a sedan instead.

 
Oh dear... but I've always wanted my first car to be a hatch... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
faithnhope..wah 30 sounds a lot..mine like took jus a feel..cant wait to see them..heee...



char: melody gave a good suggesiton..how abt tution?? i know it can be stress cause of the extra expenses u need when bb is out. but nvm...time being enjoy first..relax and "bu" yrself..maybe unable to find job now is another way of asking u to rest...when bb is out u wont have enuff time to rest le! =)

 
amazing, i tried giving tuition when i'm jobless with my 1st child but it did not work out. Tat time was tuitioning a P3 kid. I think it's me coz i can't seems to teach him to understand the logic so i pass on to my friend who is a regular tutor (she was the one who recommend me the kid) Tat time, I was also offered a 2mth temp admin job so i took it up. After the 2mths, i gave birth.

 
morning mummies!

nice weather to snooze in bed!

i m gg to BKK later in the noon! so happy! going to stock up on lots loose clothing and leggings for the buldging tummy.... and eat all the sour mangos and tom yum soup! hahahaa!

yday i went for my oscar and could hear the BB's heartbeat....so cute...

anyone can feel BB's heartbeat when you press ur palms against ur tummy?? i did it last nite..can feel the thud thud thud ..but dunno if its my stomach growling or fluids. LOL..



Char: stay happy k...its hormones prolly..try talking to the baby..it may help to lighten ur mood..everytime i feel sad or unhappy, i tell myself that it will affect the baby and immediately, i feel better. Hope it helps!

 
Hi gregda, I doubt you can feel the baby's heartbeat at this stage. My husband, who's a doctor, has been trying to hear it with his stethoscope and hasn't succeeded. According to the books, he should be able to hear with stethoscope at about 20 weeks, so I think feeling it with the palms of your hands is pretty impossible at this point [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Hi mrng ladies. What a nice day to sleep today. I m still on mc coz my colleagues told me might as well rest well through the week and get full recovery before gg back to work nxt week. Took my charcoal pill n farted a lot hahaha. Tod tummy feel such a relief (finally!!!). yest slept like baby coz for the first time this week didn't experience tummy cramp yest nite. My Hubby n I just change our car(the moment we found that I m expecting). The Coe is crazy, so no choice but to buy a paralel import car (Honda airwaves). But the boot is practical n spacious, can fit lots of things coz it is hatchback. Yahoo, cn't wait till tomolo coz mum n dad coming to stay at my place for a week to cook for me (coz they r worried of my health). Then following long national weekend, mil's turn to cook for me [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]. I do hav my upset time as well, I thk due to hormonal changes, but with strong support frm family n friends, manage to pull through it. And I do realize that I cry easily firing this period, I cried when I saw my bb scan n saw the bb moving and hands like waving to me during a scan on tues. Then cried in dr ang's clinic when he reassured me bb is okie, dun worry. Cried when I had tummy ache in office, hahaha guess it's hormonal change

 

Hi mummies,



I just came back from my Oscar test. Has to wait for a week for the result. So long.. And my next visit will be 1 month later. Super long. =( But my gynae said the scan seems fine. Hopefully everything will be fine. And guess what? My baby waved at me just now! Haha! Initially I saw my baby sucking the thumb. Then I said out "Haha! He/she is sucking his/her thumb!" And the next moment my baby lift up the arm and wave! Hahaha! So cute!!! And the legs also lift up very high. Then my baby's like keep bouncing up and down, like sleeping on waterbed like that. Heh.

 
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