mashy:: true.. so must try to strike a balance.
of cos not that u go out n slog like shit..end of the day cm back just dive into bed n sleep kind. to me, i dun need to earn big bucks, big bucks usually call for a price of more time n effort. haha. can say that cos i dun hv the qualification n capability.. so im contented to stay at such a lvl, earning juz enuff (although in deficit for certain periods..nvm)... kids can still can live comfortably..clean hse, spend time in evng/wkns, etc. well, evn like for wkns.. i can so easily be frustrated, easily flare up at them. i cant imagine if i was a SAHM n flare everyday..every now n then! makes the r/s even worse. i hv tried to mellow down quite a bit over the years already.. but this is me, aft 30+++ yrs, hw much can i chg? can control, but difficult to chg. haha.
i tink as long as the arrg works for the couple, the kid(s), the families... then things shld make some sense le.
being working f/t, i din tink that i really miss out on my kids' developments much. to me, i dun hfta witness all the very first attempts or achievement.. i prefer to watch the progress. (that me la..my personal take!) i dun tink hvg an outsider, a helper in my hse.. i lost alot of freedom or privacy. of cos, certain tings hfta adjust..withhold..forgo. haha. it's not like as if with a helper at home, i can no longer walk ard the hse naked, etc. haha. i wun do it evn when no one else is at hm. also, i dun really see it as letting someone else enjoy my hse whn im out la. (agn..my personal point of view here.) she has to work - clean my hse, prepare meals, watnot for us oso mah. these ppl, often den not, are 'underpriviledged' ppl who has to come out n work as domestic helpers to earn for their family in hometown or for whatever reason. them, hvg to sacrifies families n friends to cm out n work................ errh.. ok.. actually i decided not to go too much into all these..else will get out of point liao.. bahahaha~
like at certain point.. when my girls were getting quite mobile (stage between crawling-walking)....we reckoned that we need 2 helpers. cos even with my mum n a helper, we might not have enough hands to get hold of too much tings. of cos, expenses were super high, but that was one of the better options we had..importantly, so as not to stress out my mum too much too.
anyways, life is such, with so much challenges and all.... we all juz hfta find ways to work around or through them. hohoho~
but hor.. i still dun understand... why the girls owas hfta behave such when i hfta handle them alone! last evng hb & i picked them frm CC.. then when we were in the car, they were chatting n laughing with eachother. this mrng in the car, they both danced to the beat of the music. why cant they just be 30-50% of hw they behave with daddy ard..for whn it was with me alone!?! not asking much.. 30-50% can liao! sigh! actually them in the car with me alone (driving) is ok.. the big challenge is getting them into their seat. kaoz. they either dun follow on behind me..or ya, juz hfta fight with them to push them into the seats lor. hw to carry 2 todds + 2 bags.. my arms n back is not as strong anymore!