What should I do...Mistress destroying my family

Lucia Ong

New Member
I have been married for 20 years. Perfect family, a Son and a Daughter both in Uni now. Perfect home and thought I had a perfect Husband.

My husband WAS a good Father, a good husband, intelligent and kind hearted and I was so proud that he set up his own company that is doing extremely well these recent years, but this company of his ruined his life, our life. 5 years ago he employed an assistant, young sweet and full of life. A good 18 years younger than him.

Things started going downhill 3 years ago, at first he was always praising how good she is and how well he is helping her with his business. Business trips happened (just both of them) over the years, I’m not sure how many she tagged along but he travels monthly. I went crazy when I found out he brought her to China with him, he claimed nothing happened, they slept separate hotel rooms and the girl is married! It was purely a business trip, so he said.

I told myself maybe I’m thinking too much, even texted her and APOLOGISE. I let it slide and tried my best to move on and be a good Mother and a Wife. Last year all my suspicious and doubts became clearer, it was definitely an affair between both of them. Business trips is an excuse, they have been going for holidays all over e the world. My husbands business stretches out mainly to China and SE Asia so why is he going US Europe all these places!

Just yesterday morning I found a hotel room key with both their names on it; for a vacation in Maldives, it broke me. I don’t know how to live on anymore. I don’t know what I should do.

I will not and cannot divorce him, the girl is married herself and I even find ways to contact her and her husband but there is not outcome. She’s a amazing liar and a very good manipulative woman to be able to hook my husband like this.

What should I do, he doesn’t want to go for councilling and i have a nagging fear that soon the stupid little girl would be asking him to get a divorce, what can be done or how I should start protecting myself and my kids? I am clueless to know where to start and I really don’t want the girl to be taking every cent of him and running away. I still care for him so much as he is my Husband. We had happier days. Pls.. anyone.. pls help me.
 


Does your husband still care about the family, does he still spend time with you n your children
He comes back every night, he still makes it a point to go church as a family and bring us out for dinner every weekend. Weekdays r dedicated to his assistant. Some weekday nights he is home early but I think it’s onlt because she has a double life to keep up so he has no choice but to accept her double life. I’m sure the Mistress will divorce her Husband, my Husband can give her a tai tai life and she can retire and be a taitai in her early 30s. Good deal! Haiz
 
Why you cannot/don't want divorce your husband?
Especially you know that he is clearly having an affair.
If you have in doubt, engage a PI and get proof of him having the affair.
With that, you can file for divorce.
Like you said, sooner or later, she may want your husband to divorce with you, and she also can divorce with her china husband.
By then it will be too late...
 
Why you cannot/don't want divorce your husband?
Especially you know that he is clearly having an affair.
If you have in doubt, engage a PI and get proof of him having the affair.
With that, you can file for divorce.
Like you said, sooner or later, she may want your husband to divorce with you, and she also can divorce with her china husband.
By then it will be too late...

Bcos he’s part of me, like loosing a family member, I really don’t know how to live without him. I haven’t work in years too.

Can I ask hiring PI to take proof of their affair besides hurting me even more what can he help in the event if he files for a divorce? Can I get more money out of him. E kids r big, no point fighting custody, doesn’t make sense. I got proof of their hotel card, the receipts of them flying together. Is that sufficient?

The Mistress is sporean, her Husband is sporean too. Both working and just got their flat. I don’t know why is she so stupid, she’s only so young n about to start a family. What can my 47 yrs old husband give her besides money. Haiz I’m even considering getting on my knees n begging her to leave my Husband I think I’m really at my wits end.
 
Bcos he’s part of me, like loosing a family member, I really don’t know how to live without him. I haven’t work in years too.

Can I ask hiring PI to take proof of their affair besides hurting me even more what can he help in the event if he files for a divorce? Can I get more money out of him. E kids r big, no point fighting custody, doesn’t make sense. I got proof of their hotel card, the receipts of them flying together. Is that sufficient?

The Mistress is sporean, her Husband is sporean too. Both working and just got their flat. I don’t know why is she so stupid, she’s only so young n about to start a family. What can my 47 yrs old husband give her besides money. Haiz I’m even considering getting on my knees n begging her to leave my Husband I think I’m really at my wits end.
Do her husband know?
 
Bcos he’s part of me, like loosing a family member, I really don’t know how to live without him. I haven’t work in years too.

Can I ask hiring PI to take proof of their affair besides hurting me even more what can he help in the event if he files for a divorce? Can I get more money out of him. E kids r big, no point fighting custody, doesn’t make sense. I got proof of their hotel card, the receipts of them flying together. Is that sufficient?

The Mistress is sporean, her Husband is sporean too. Both working and just got their flat. I don’t know why is she so stupid, she’s only so young n about to start a family. What can my 47 yrs old husband give her besides money. Haiz I’m even considering getting on my knees n begging her to leave my Husband I think I’m really at my wits end.

You hire a PI to prove he is the one having an affair in case he turns around and say you are crazy, you are lying, or even worse, you are the one having the affair. Whatever you have it’s not enough to prove adultery but unreasonable behavior but still your hub can twist n turn his words.

You do not want to divorce but what’s the point of holding on to his body when his heart is not with you?

You begging that mistress will not help you it will only make you hate yourself more.
 
Bcos he’s part of me, like loosing a family member, I really don’t know how to live without him. I haven’t work in years too.

Can I ask hiring PI to take proof of their affair besides hurting me even more what can he help in the event if he files for a divorce? Can I get more money out of him. E kids r big, no point fighting custody, doesn’t make sense. I got proof of their hotel card, the receipts of them flying together. Is that sufficient?

The Mistress is sporean, her Husband is sporean too. Both working and just got their flat. I don’t know why is she so stupid, she’s only so young n about to start a family. What can my 47 yrs old husband give her besides money. Haiz I’m even considering getting on my knees n begging her to leave my Husband I think I’m really at my wits end.

U wan to hang onto this marriage...

Let me lay down a few options u can consider:
  1. Get a PI to prove his EMA, for yourself. In case u need it later.
  2. Get a PI to chk on that woman too.
  3. If u D say now, chk w lawyer, 'how much' u can get. Where u stands.
  4. Analyse your husband's biz trade, isit a downtrend biz. If yes, will u get your halves more if u D now? If not, stay put and plan along.
  5. Start spending, his money. Improve your living standards.
  6. If still decided no D, work on your relationship. Start w yourself first.
  7. Try to join his company help him out.
  8. Amongst point1-7, along the way, make sure u build up your own funds as fast as much as u can in your own account.
 

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