Support Group - Stillbirths
- Thread starter miracle_bb
- Start date
November,
I understand what you are going through.
When I had my triple test done, there is high chance of down bb and thus, I was asked to do an animo to confirm. During that time, dh and i went scouring for info about down bb and what our decision will be if our 1st-born is a down. But the animo result came out negative and we were happy forwards a healthy bb arrival. However, I had a still-birth at 25 weeks. I felt more guilt when I recalled that my bb left me bcos I had actually doesn't want her in the 1st place bcos of down and was in deep depression.
I subsequently volunteered in MINDS and worked with several downs children and they are really wonderful children to be with.
I agree that cost of raising a special need child is more, but look at parents sending their normal children to numerous enrichment course, it may just work out to be the same... just that pockets have to be tighten and maybe live life simplier; I know this is easier said than done but if I have a chance to make a choice, I rather raise a Down bb than to live my life having a still-birth!
Sorry for my long post...
I understand what you are going through.
When I had my triple test done, there is high chance of down bb and thus, I was asked to do an animo to confirm. During that time, dh and i went scouring for info about down bb and what our decision will be if our 1st-born is a down. But the animo result came out negative and we were happy forwards a healthy bb arrival. However, I had a still-birth at 25 weeks. I felt more guilt when I recalled that my bb left me bcos I had actually doesn't want her in the 1st place bcos of down and was in deep depression.
I subsequently volunteered in MINDS and worked with several downs children and they are really wonderful children to be with.
I agree that cost of raising a special need child is more, but look at parents sending their normal children to numerous enrichment course, it may just work out to be the same... just that pockets have to be tighten and maybe live life simplier; I know this is easier said than done but if I have a chance to make a choice, I rather raise a Down bb than to live my life having a still-birth!
Sorry for my long post...
Hi CP & November
I hv something to share with you.In fact,my baby is born premature & was diagnosed with Down Syndrome when he was born.We are told that he hv a heart defect.Going thru the Oscar test & other detailed scan,there is no evidence that my bb will be a Down Syndrome child.Like you both,when he was born,we are shocked & really don't noe wat to do coz we have no experience with Down Syndrome child.
Right from the beginning,my hubby din't despite this bb.He gave him alot of love & care.Our babysitter also see our child as a normal bb.From both of them,I learnt alot of things from them.
As months went by,my love for my child grew even though he had to be admitted to ICU almost every month due to his reflux & weak lungs.It hv nothing to do with his Down's.I must say it was very stressful for me & hubby to go to the hospital so often but we did not see that as a problem.We love our child as he is.He hv also brought us alot of joy.I can say that Down's children are adorable in their own way.Moreover I can say they are born with very sweet spirit.My bb don't give us alot of problem when he was home coz most of the time he will be sleeping or playing by his own.
We as parents hv done our best for him & we din't regret taking care of him & giving him our best love.In fact,we still hope that he is still with us despite tat we know the road will not be easy for us.We missed him alot.
We can't make the decision for you.But I can say that you will surely miss your bb if you terminate your pregnancy.
Not all Down's Syndrome child will be difficult to look after.Juz that my bb is born premature that's why he was weak.Maybe you would like to visit the Down Syndrome Assocation website before you make your decision.
I hv something to share with you.In fact,my baby is born premature & was diagnosed with Down Syndrome when he was born.We are told that he hv a heart defect.Going thru the Oscar test & other detailed scan,there is no evidence that my bb will be a Down Syndrome child.Like you both,when he was born,we are shocked & really don't noe wat to do coz we have no experience with Down Syndrome child.
Right from the beginning,my hubby din't despite this bb.He gave him alot of love & care.Our babysitter also see our child as a normal bb.From both of them,I learnt alot of things from them.
As months went by,my love for my child grew even though he had to be admitted to ICU almost every month due to his reflux & weak lungs.It hv nothing to do with his Down's.I must say it was very stressful for me & hubby to go to the hospital so often but we did not see that as a problem.We love our child as he is.He hv also brought us alot of joy.I can say that Down's children are adorable in their own way.Moreover I can say they are born with very sweet spirit.My bb don't give us alot of problem when he was home coz most of the time he will be sleeping or playing by his own.
We as parents hv done our best for him & we din't regret taking care of him & giving him our best love.In fact,we still hope that he is still with us despite tat we know the road will not be easy for us.We missed him alot.
We can't make the decision for you.But I can say that you will surely miss your bb if you terminate your pregnancy.
Not all Down's Syndrome child will be difficult to look after.Juz that my bb is born premature that's why he was weak.Maybe you would like to visit the Down Syndrome Assocation website before you make your decision.
Hi! cherrygal,
CP has already terminated her baby when she wrote in this thread so I guess maybe Patsy just dun want to rub salt into her wounds then. I am glad CP PM me and we communicated thru email. CP didnt have the courage to see this forum eversince as I know she has some regrets but things have already happen so people have to move on and not harp on this.
I do understand the agony of being in a crossroad of whether to terminate or not. The decision is with November and I respect her decision if she feels that she has done her best.
Likewise, Patsy also did her best for Sabie despite all the odds. I think Patsy just felt sorry and pitiful that a life so fragile is being terminated.
Guess people have different perspective of things due to different experiences that they have been thru.
CP has already terminated her baby when she wrote in this thread so I guess maybe Patsy just dun want to rub salt into her wounds then. I am glad CP PM me and we communicated thru email. CP didnt have the courage to see this forum eversince as I know she has some regrets but things have already happen so people have to move on and not harp on this.
I do understand the agony of being in a crossroad of whether to terminate or not. The decision is with November and I respect her decision if she feels that she has done her best.
Likewise, Patsy also did her best for Sabie despite all the odds. I think Patsy just felt sorry and pitiful that a life so fragile is being terminated.
Guess people have different perspective of things due to different experiences that they have been thru.
We dun regret the decision we have made. Making a decision is never easy. You may think that pple juz terminate without thinking through. U are not wearing my shoe u wont understand.
Everyone has their own views i resp that.
I dun seek anyone's understanding, opinion or empathy.
I dun see the point drilling on this. This forum is to give support to pple who have lost their FRESH and BLOOD.
I rest my case and god bless all children.
Everyone has their own views i resp that.
I dun seek anyone's understanding, opinion or empathy.
I dun see the point drilling on this. This forum is to give support to pple who have lost their FRESH and BLOOD.
I rest my case and god bless all children.
superbunny
New Member
Hi all mummies,
Am back from my holidays and catching up on the posts so far.
In my brief stay in thailand, i saw quite a lot of sights that you probably wouldn't get to see in Singapore.. mummies carrying their little babies and begging on the streets, admist the smoke and dust of the traffic. Perhaps you say that it might be just fake begging but my heart went out to them and even more to their kids.
All of us here are mummies to special baby angels. Each of us have a different story but we are here together, to seek the same thing, comfort. I wouldn't say its understanding becos each of us are different and we have different stories. That is the purpose of gathering here isnt it? Just to seek some comfort on this online forum where certain things can still be kept private.
I can't say that what i will do if i was in the same siutation as cp or November, having to make that decision. Really speaking, I am very different person from before becoming a mummy to Gabriel. Having been through a loss of a child, i think some of the mummies here would give anything to have another, including myself. I guess that is what they mean by "experience changes everything".
I hope we remember why we are here despite the reasons.
Am back from my holidays and catching up on the posts so far.
In my brief stay in thailand, i saw quite a lot of sights that you probably wouldn't get to see in Singapore.. mummies carrying their little babies and begging on the streets, admist the smoke and dust of the traffic. Perhaps you say that it might be just fake begging but my heart went out to them and even more to their kids.
All of us here are mummies to special baby angels. Each of us have a different story but we are here together, to seek the same thing, comfort. I wouldn't say its understanding becos each of us are different and we have different stories. That is the purpose of gathering here isnt it? Just to seek some comfort on this online forum where certain things can still be kept private.
I can't say that what i will do if i was in the same siutation as cp or November, having to make that decision. Really speaking, I am very different person from before becoming a mummy to Gabriel. Having been through a loss of a child, i think some of the mummies here would give anything to have another, including myself. I guess that is what they mean by "experience changes everything".
I hope we remember why we are here despite the reasons.
pigletgir1
Member
hi all,
sorry to interupt but i do feel that we shld not judge cp and november decision. Personally, i will make the same decision as theirs as i don't see the point of bringing the child to this world to suffer.. living in this world as it is, is not easy.. tho they can take care of themself but it will nvr be as good and enuf as a norm.. if u know where i am coming from..
patsy, i am very very sorry whn heard abt saby, yes i was following your thread, i read abt her and my heart goes all out to her.. i cried when i knew that she passed away.. i prayed for her as well.. life is indeed so precious.. you are a courageous mum, able to bring her to see the world even knowing that she has a heart defect.. however on the other side of the coin, have you thought that if one choose to terminate the pregnancy, the child may not hv to suffer so much?.. the monthly cardio chk up, the pain from the operations etc... of cse you may say that after all, she once had lead a happy life.. well.. it is pretty subjective.. thus i really hope you are not too judgemental towards cp n november..
i sincerely apologise if my post have offended anyone, it is never my intention...
sorry to interupt but i do feel that we shld not judge cp and november decision. Personally, i will make the same decision as theirs as i don't see the point of bringing the child to this world to suffer.. living in this world as it is, is not easy.. tho they can take care of themself but it will nvr be as good and enuf as a norm.. if u know where i am coming from..
patsy, i am very very sorry whn heard abt saby, yes i was following your thread, i read abt her and my heart goes all out to her.. i cried when i knew that she passed away.. i prayed for her as well.. life is indeed so precious.. you are a courageous mum, able to bring her to see the world even knowing that she has a heart defect.. however on the other side of the coin, have you thought that if one choose to terminate the pregnancy, the child may not hv to suffer so much?.. the monthly cardio chk up, the pain from the operations etc... of cse you may say that after all, she once had lead a happy life.. well.. it is pretty subjective.. thus i really hope you are not too judgemental towards cp n november..
i sincerely apologise if my post have offended anyone, it is never my intention...
pigletgir1, i am actually feeling very sorry, i didn't mean to be judgemental towards CP and November, although I know it came out like that.
You talk about looking at the other side of the coin but how could I murder my own child? God granted this child to me....
Maybe I feel so strongly about this because right now, I would give up anything to have Sabie back alive, yah, she would maybe will suffer, but she will be ALIVE, having her own experiences, going to school, read her first book, have her first crush.... there are many patients with Sabie's condition who lead normal lives, there's even a Winter Olympic athlete with her same exact condition... so i had to give her the chance to LIVE.
Sorry to CP and November if I was judgemental, this was not my intention, but LOST and TERMINATED is totally different... maybe there should be another thread set up for mummies who have made the decision to terminate their pregnancies?
I am really having a hard time expressing myself regarding this... maybe it's best i stop responding to it.
You talk about looking at the other side of the coin but how could I murder my own child? God granted this child to me....
Maybe I feel so strongly about this because right now, I would give up anything to have Sabie back alive, yah, she would maybe will suffer, but she will be ALIVE, having her own experiences, going to school, read her first book, have her first crush.... there are many patients with Sabie's condition who lead normal lives, there's even a Winter Olympic athlete with her same exact condition... so i had to give her the chance to LIVE.
Sorry to CP and November if I was judgemental, this was not my intention, but LOST and TERMINATED is totally different... maybe there should be another thread set up for mummies who have made the decision to terminate their pregnancies?
I am really having a hard time expressing myself regarding this... maybe it's best i stop responding to it.
Hi all,
I personally know Patsy very well, if some had know me, i am a buddy to Patsy. I guess she feel for the Baby, and we all understand its a gift from God.
Very much November wishes to keep the child, but i guess the pressure in the future might be just too much to bear.
Its 2 sides of the coin. Finally decision does not lie on us, but on the parents. If you are all for giving birth, provide the child the best, if nt better. If you decided to take it away, look forward and move on. Its easy to take away and say forget, but i know its deeply hurts.
November, whatever ur call maybe... dun look back ya. I am sure Patsy is nt trying to be judgemental, but she feels lot for the child. She doesnt want you to make a decision that is too rash. Patsy being a mum, she is the most courageous and strong. Even till today, she is my buddy and someone I would love to share my joy with. Trust me, she just dun wan you to lose you child like tt.
I personally know Patsy very well, if some had know me, i am a buddy to Patsy. I guess she feel for the Baby, and we all understand its a gift from God.
Very much November wishes to keep the child, but i guess the pressure in the future might be just too much to bear.
Its 2 sides of the coin. Finally decision does not lie on us, but on the parents. If you are all for giving birth, provide the child the best, if nt better. If you decided to take it away, look forward and move on. Its easy to take away and say forget, but i know its deeply hurts.
November, whatever ur call maybe... dun look back ya. I am sure Patsy is nt trying to be judgemental, but she feels lot for the child. She doesnt want you to make a decision that is too rash. Patsy being a mum, she is the most courageous and strong. Even till today, she is my buddy and someone I would love to share my joy with. Trust me, she just dun wan you to lose you child like tt.
Mylollipopdays
Active Member
Dear ladies
I too just came home from M'sia and saw the long posts...I am very sure NO one is being judgemental here as God has chosen different fates for us all. Remember this is a support group for all who've suffered the death of a child (be it in the womb or in our arms). We are the unfortunate chosen ones who were called to suffer this pain and because of that, our perspective of life and deaths are totally different so perhaps that's why Patsy expressed her concern on terminating one's pregnancy. I too dun have an answer why God is so unfair to us but whether to terminate a pregnancy or not is a very personal choice and so there is NO condemnation in any decision made. Just that sometimes, we wonder how life would be more worth living if our angels are still alive. Pigletgir1, it is certainly not fair to imply that by bringing a 'less-than-perfect' child into this world, we are causing him/her to suffer - who knows, with the advancement in medical science, our child may have a fighting chance to survive or be healed? That requires a lot of courage on the parents' part, taking a chance against all the odds and hoping against hope for a miracle...In the end, even if the miracle did not happen, at least the parents knew they've done their BEST for their babies...No parent would purposely do something to make their own child suffer. On the contary, we would do EVERYTHING for our flesh and blood, even lay down our lives if we could.
In emails or forum posts like this, it's hard to decipher the tone of voice so messages and intentions tend to get misconstrued. We are each suffering in our unique ways that normal people cannot understand (yes, they can empathise or offer their sympathetic looks but they can never even come close to comprehend the depths of the pain we are going through unless they have been through EXACTLY the same circumstances!) so let's continue to be a good source of support, comfort and friendship to each other here by being open and sincere in our sharing.
Thought I'll end my post with a quote I found in some of the child bereavement books that I'm reading cos that's how I'm feeling right now...
"Night"
Nighttime is the worst. I can stay busy duing the day, but in the still of the night, my emptiness cannot be filled with busyness. How I long to hold you, my little one. How I long to kiss you and tell you how much I love you. Why did God take you so soon? I miss you..." (From An Empty Cradle, A Full Heart)
I too just came home from M'sia and saw the long posts...I am very sure NO one is being judgemental here as God has chosen different fates for us all. Remember this is a support group for all who've suffered the death of a child (be it in the womb or in our arms). We are the unfortunate chosen ones who were called to suffer this pain and because of that, our perspective of life and deaths are totally different so perhaps that's why Patsy expressed her concern on terminating one's pregnancy. I too dun have an answer why God is so unfair to us but whether to terminate a pregnancy or not is a very personal choice and so there is NO condemnation in any decision made. Just that sometimes, we wonder how life would be more worth living if our angels are still alive. Pigletgir1, it is certainly not fair to imply that by bringing a 'less-than-perfect' child into this world, we are causing him/her to suffer - who knows, with the advancement in medical science, our child may have a fighting chance to survive or be healed? That requires a lot of courage on the parents' part, taking a chance against all the odds and hoping against hope for a miracle...In the end, even if the miracle did not happen, at least the parents knew they've done their BEST for their babies...No parent would purposely do something to make their own child suffer. On the contary, we would do EVERYTHING for our flesh and blood, even lay down our lives if we could.
In emails or forum posts like this, it's hard to decipher the tone of voice so messages and intentions tend to get misconstrued. We are each suffering in our unique ways that normal people cannot understand (yes, they can empathise or offer their sympathetic looks but they can never even come close to comprehend the depths of the pain we are going through unless they have been through EXACTLY the same circumstances!) so let's continue to be a good source of support, comfort and friendship to each other here by being open and sincere in our sharing.
Thought I'll end my post with a quote I found in some of the child bereavement books that I'm reading cos that's how I'm feeling right now...
"Night"
Nighttime is the worst. I can stay busy duing the day, but in the still of the night, my emptiness cannot be filled with busyness. How I long to hold you, my little one. How I long to kiss you and tell you how much I love you. Why did God take you so soon? I miss you..." (From An Empty Cradle, A Full Heart)
sleepygarfield
Member
Hi Ladies
Not sure if this is the correct place to post but i really hope i can get some advices here so that i can advise my sis accordingly.
My elder sis is already 42 yrs old, she didnt get her menses since 3 mths ago and have been losing weight since then. Went to see a doc at polyclinic, he deduce it to menopause and told her that some women experienced lost of appetite and weight lost during menopause, however after a mth, she was having difficulties getting off the bed, feeling rather exhausted everyday, btw, she's a housewife and has a 13 yr old daughter. When she went back to polyclinic again, she was referred to KKH for further checks. Since it was a referral, only a MO attended to her and scan shows that she had a CYST abt the size of a peach and was given medication for 2 mth before the next review. However, her condition worsen tat she was unable to cook for the family a complete lost of appetite.
Today, she went to a specialist at East shore hospital. To her surprise, the gynae told her there's a foetus in her womb! There's indeed a growth but it's not a cyst, it's a tumour! And it's attached to a major artery, tat an op might cause excessive bleeding and she might lose her life, moreover, she has heart problem, not suitable for operation. The bad news is due to the medication she took for the so called CYST plus her age, the chances of hving an abnormal bb is close to 95%.
As she's a housewife and my brother in law is just a odd job labourer, they cant afford to hv an abnormal baby and also cant afford the expensive pte hosp bill. And she dare not go back to KKH again. She's going to amnio test next week and has decided that if the test shows bb is abnormal, she'll want to abort it.
I know she has been longing for another child since my niece was born 13 yrs ago, and she has been trying for so many yrs in vain, find it a pity that she's going to lose her baby like this.
I hope some of you will be able to give some constructive advices bearing in mind that it's not something she wanted, if she has the financial means, i'm sure she'll want to keep the child even if it's going to be a abnormal child.
Thanks in advance for all your advices.
Not sure if this is the correct place to post but i really hope i can get some advices here so that i can advise my sis accordingly.
My elder sis is already 42 yrs old, she didnt get her menses since 3 mths ago and have been losing weight since then. Went to see a doc at polyclinic, he deduce it to menopause and told her that some women experienced lost of appetite and weight lost during menopause, however after a mth, she was having difficulties getting off the bed, feeling rather exhausted everyday, btw, she's a housewife and has a 13 yr old daughter. When she went back to polyclinic again, she was referred to KKH for further checks. Since it was a referral, only a MO attended to her and scan shows that she had a CYST abt the size of a peach and was given medication for 2 mth before the next review. However, her condition worsen tat she was unable to cook for the family a complete lost of appetite.
Today, she went to a specialist at East shore hospital. To her surprise, the gynae told her there's a foetus in her womb! There's indeed a growth but it's not a cyst, it's a tumour! And it's attached to a major artery, tat an op might cause excessive bleeding and she might lose her life, moreover, she has heart problem, not suitable for operation. The bad news is due to the medication she took for the so called CYST plus her age, the chances of hving an abnormal bb is close to 95%.
As she's a housewife and my brother in law is just a odd job labourer, they cant afford to hv an abnormal baby and also cant afford the expensive pte hosp bill. And she dare not go back to KKH again. She's going to amnio test next week and has decided that if the test shows bb is abnormal, she'll want to abort it.
I know she has been longing for another child since my niece was born 13 yrs ago, and she has been trying for so many yrs in vain, find it a pity that she's going to lose her baby like this.
I hope some of you will be able to give some constructive advices bearing in mind that it's not something she wanted, if she has the financial means, i'm sure she'll want to keep the child even if it's going to be a abnormal child.
Thanks in advance for all your advices.
sleepygarfield
Member
Can i also check that if we choose a particular specialist at KKH, is the bill going to be the same as when we go to a pte hosp? Understand tat if you choose a specialist, you'll be considered a pte patient.
hi patsy and cherry gal,
glad that both of u can understand each other. my boy is coming to 18th months and i have been through the darkest part of life too. by the way i am from the feb 06 thread.
when i was pregnant, i din know and went ahead with x ray due to severe muscular cramp on my ribs. 2 days after the x ray, i found out that i was pregnant. my gynae strongly advised me to abort the baby. i was so devastated cos this baby is very special to me. i am born with severe anaemic. my hb level is always at 5.9 although the normal hb level supposed to range 12-13. i went for blood transfusion before i was pregnant and then the gynae actually asked me to abort my bb. he gave me a week to make up my mind. what can i do? i thought so much during that 1 week whether to abort or not? what if my baby is a healthy baby? one week later, i told my hubby i wanted to keep the baby. although some unhappy incidents happened with my gynae, i carried on my pregnancy and went to Peter Chew who is well known for being compassionate.
i gone through injections every week to strengthen my womb, took a lot of vitamins and pills (11 tablets a day) as well as many tests and cant even get to see my baby's face during scan cos he was facing the other side of the womb, i carried on the pregnancy. at the point of time, Dr Chew dun even know whether my baby has cleft lips. the triple test came back normal though.
i delivered Noel 2 weeks earlier as Dr chew suspected that he is not breathing normally. his heart beat dropped.took him out on Valentine's day last year and the umbilical cord was twice round his neck. when he was taken out, his skull was dented and till today, he carries the scar on his forehead.
he is perfectly fine. what ran through my mind was, if i decided to abort him at that point of time,i won have a cute baby with me today.
i dun mean to offend anyone. just want to share my story that i've made the choice Patsy made.she had decided to keep sabie. As mothers, we simply love our own children so much even if it is short lived. we are not selfish to bring them to the world to suffer but we love them and we cant bear to let go.
glad that both of u can understand each other. my boy is coming to 18th months and i have been through the darkest part of life too. by the way i am from the feb 06 thread.
when i was pregnant, i din know and went ahead with x ray due to severe muscular cramp on my ribs. 2 days after the x ray, i found out that i was pregnant. my gynae strongly advised me to abort the baby. i was so devastated cos this baby is very special to me. i am born with severe anaemic. my hb level is always at 5.9 although the normal hb level supposed to range 12-13. i went for blood transfusion before i was pregnant and then the gynae actually asked me to abort my bb. he gave me a week to make up my mind. what can i do? i thought so much during that 1 week whether to abort or not? what if my baby is a healthy baby? one week later, i told my hubby i wanted to keep the baby. although some unhappy incidents happened with my gynae, i carried on my pregnancy and went to Peter Chew who is well known for being compassionate.
i gone through injections every week to strengthen my womb, took a lot of vitamins and pills (11 tablets a day) as well as many tests and cant even get to see my baby's face during scan cos he was facing the other side of the womb, i carried on the pregnancy. at the point of time, Dr Chew dun even know whether my baby has cleft lips. the triple test came back normal though.
i delivered Noel 2 weeks earlier as Dr chew suspected that he is not breathing normally. his heart beat dropped.took him out on Valentine's day last year and the umbilical cord was twice round his neck. when he was taken out, his skull was dented and till today, he carries the scar on his forehead.
he is perfectly fine. what ran through my mind was, if i decided to abort him at that point of time,i won have a cute baby with me today.
i dun mean to offend anyone. just want to share my story that i've made the choice Patsy made.she had decided to keep sabie. As mothers, we simply love our own children so much even if it is short lived. we are not selfish to bring them to the world to suffer but we love them and we cant bear to let go.
eunice_sng71
Active Member
Hi Koli,
I'm so happy for you after reading your post.
Sleepygarfield, the price is different after you chose specialist. Not at walk in rates. But it'll also be slightly cheaper than those in mount E. Have you decided to go KK?
I'm so happy for you after reading your post.
Sleepygarfield, the price is different after you chose specialist. Not at walk in rates. But it'll also be slightly cheaper than those in mount E. Have you decided to go KK?
sleepygarfield
Member
Hi Eunice,
Not me, it's my elder sis. Besides the risk of having an abnormal bb, doc also told her due to her age and the tumour in her womb, chances of getting a premature bb is very high, and the cost of putting baby in an incubator for months is an amount that she can never afford to pay, that's why thinking of switching back to KKH but choose a specialist so that in any case if she gets a premature child, at least the cost of treatment will be lower.
I find it a pity to abort the baby, however taking into account their financial situation, what do you think is the course of action?
Not me, it's my elder sis. Besides the risk of having an abnormal bb, doc also told her due to her age and the tumour in her womb, chances of getting a premature bb is very high, and the cost of putting baby in an incubator for months is an amount that she can never afford to pay, that's why thinking of switching back to KKH but choose a specialist so that in any case if she gets a premature child, at least the cost of treatment will be lower.
I find it a pity to abort the baby, however taking into account their financial situation, what do you think is the course of action?
Mylollipopdays
Active Member
sleepygarfield,
although we very much like to help but utimately the choice lies with your sis and bro-in-law. How much do they want the child and are they willing to put everything on the line for this baby like what Koli and Patsy did. If finances are a big burden, I would advise them to speak to the neonatologists or medical counsellors at KKH prior to making any decisions. My baby girl Ashley only spent 1.5days in the NICU and her bill was already a hefty 15K (Medisave only deducted $300 per day!). Whatever decisions they make, your family must give them your fullest support. I think the most prudent action right now is to have a good talk with the gynae whether this pregnancy would threaten your sis' health (with her tumor and all). It's not necessary to choose a specialist at KKH cos they work as a team esp when it comes to taking care of premature babies. Their neo-nat dept is one of the best in Asia. Hope this helps.
Patsy, Steph and Estbaby, how have all of you been? Want to arrange for another meet up soon?
although we very much like to help but utimately the choice lies with your sis and bro-in-law. How much do they want the child and are they willing to put everything on the line for this baby like what Koli and Patsy did. If finances are a big burden, I would advise them to speak to the neonatologists or medical counsellors at KKH prior to making any decisions. My baby girl Ashley only spent 1.5days in the NICU and her bill was already a hefty 15K (Medisave only deducted $300 per day!). Whatever decisions they make, your family must give them your fullest support. I think the most prudent action right now is to have a good talk with the gynae whether this pregnancy would threaten your sis' health (with her tumor and all). It's not necessary to choose a specialist at KKH cos they work as a team esp when it comes to taking care of premature babies. Their neo-nat dept is one of the best in Asia. Hope this helps.
Patsy, Steph and Estbaby, how have all of you been? Want to arrange for another meet up soon?
eunice_sng71
Active Member
Yes Sleepygarfield, pls ask yr sis to speak to the neonatologists / counsellors about the fincial matters. I can forseen a large amount i any complicated matters arise.
Actually if your sis situation is not so "complicated", I would sugguest SGH instead. They can handle pretty well for any premature babies. I heard a lot of irresponsible cases from KKH. But still KKH is still the one to choose or refer to if any complicated cases.
It's really a pity to abort the kid, but it's up to the parent's decision. They must be physically and emotionally prepared.
Actually if your sis situation is not so "complicated", I would sugguest SGH instead. They can handle pretty well for any premature babies. I heard a lot of irresponsible cases from KKH. But still KKH is still the one to choose or refer to if any complicated cases.
It's really a pity to abort the kid, but it's up to the parent's decision. They must be physically and emotionally prepared.
HI Angel... still need to come over to see the clothes! so sorry... dunno why but have been so busy these days! yah, let's meet up when Steph comes back from her biz trip.
Sleepygarfield, mabye can ask your sister to check if there can be any financial assistance that can be afforded to them? no matter what i feel a life is a life.. and we have to do all that we can to sustain it.
Sleepygarfield, mabye can ask your sister to check if there can be any financial assistance that can be afforded to them? no matter what i feel a life is a life.. and we have to do all that we can to sustain it.
Mylollipopdays
Active Member
hey Patsy
haha...yah better come before you outgrow them! hehe. You free to come over this weekend? We'll be home Sat cos PUB coming to fix our gas heater. Sunday after your church's fine too cos we'll usually be home by 1pm after visiting the babies at Mandai...have you recovered fully from your flu?
haha...yah better come before you outgrow them! hehe. You free to come over this weekend? We'll be home Sat cos PUB coming to fix our gas heater. Sunday after your church's fine too cos we'll usually be home by 1pm after visiting the babies at Mandai...have you recovered fully from your flu?
superbunny
New Member
Hi everyone..
Signing in from sunny Montreal. Its like 12 hours behind Singapore time and after a 30hour flying trip, the bed look so inviting.
Sure, let's meet up when i am back! Am missing Singapore food already!
cheers
steph
Signing in from sunny Montreal. Its like 12 hours behind Singapore time and after a 30hour flying trip, the bed look so inviting.
cheers
steph
hi patsy
yah, went through a lot with Noel. when he was out, he has clubfoot and lactose intolerant. at 6 weeks, he was hospitalised. seeing them drawing blood from his heels and giving him shower cos he ran fever for 2 weeks, i so heart pain. he has to cast his foot for whole 3 months and started physio for almost 10 months. today went for pysio again cos his foot has not fully recovered.
i brought him to this whole so i have to take care of him no matter what.
compare to yours, mine is nothing!i salute u cos u did so much for Sabie!
when Noel was born, my in laws even passed sacarstic remarks. i clenched my teeth and move on with life.
Not trying to show how great i am. just want mummies out there to know that we can choose the decision on whether to keep them or abort them but the baby in your womb cannot make his/hers decision whether to be your son/ daughter. i find that even if the baby's life is short lived or even DS, at the end of the day, if they can call mummy and loves his/her mummy, for me i won regret to keep the baby.
to all mummies in this thread, u all r doing a wonderful job so far in protecting and try keeping safe ur babies till the very last moment but sometimes life is not so smooth sailing as how we want life to be. Don't give up! keep on trying! You all are simply wonderful! Wei da de ma ma!
yah, went through a lot with Noel. when he was out, he has clubfoot and lactose intolerant. at 6 weeks, he was hospitalised. seeing them drawing blood from his heels and giving him shower cos he ran fever for 2 weeks, i so heart pain. he has to cast his foot for whole 3 months and started physio for almost 10 months. today went for pysio again cos his foot has not fully recovered.
i brought him to this whole so i have to take care of him no matter what.
compare to yours, mine is nothing!i salute u cos u did so much for Sabie!
when Noel was born, my in laws even passed sacarstic remarks. i clenched my teeth and move on with life.
Not trying to show how great i am. just want mummies out there to know that we can choose the decision on whether to keep them or abort them but the baby in your womb cannot make his/hers decision whether to be your son/ daughter. i find that even if the baby's life is short lived or even DS, at the end of the day, if they can call mummy and loves his/her mummy, for me i won regret to keep the baby.
to all mummies in this thread, u all r doing a wonderful job so far in protecting and try keeping safe ur babies till the very last moment but sometimes life is not so smooth sailing as how we want life to be. Don't give up! keep on trying! You all are simply wonderful! Wei da de ma ma!
Hi Koli... I'm so blessed by you. You are proof that the love of a mother knows no boundaries. I've been stressed recently coz had my triple test and waiting for the result, had to talk to myself to see if I was willing to take the chance again... and the answer I gave myself was yes... I have to give this baby a chance to see the world. Good things though I received a call just now that the results were ok and low risk for abnormality... Praise God!
Koli if you need anything pls let me know!
Koli if you need anything pls let me know!
miracle_bb
Member
Hi Patsy,
Wow I logged in and found out that you are preggy!!! So happy for you. So now must be around 14 weeks?
So who else have started TTCing?
Actually I saw CP and November's post and then subsequently Patsy's post. I chose not to write then coz I knew it would be a neverending debate just like whether Euthanasia should be approved or not. As a Catholic, we are not supposed to abort a foetus, unless its threatening the mother's life. Everyone got their own beliefs. Just like my colleague who goes for amnio directly without going thru triple test because she wants to be very sure. (erm no need to say more)
Every child is a blessing. Been thinking of having second (or rather technically 4th one) kid, but hubby very against coz dun wan to go thru another nightmarish pregnancy. Sigh... so maybe gonna just have only one.
Let me know when u gals meeting up again.
Wow I logged in and found out that you are preggy!!! So happy for you. So now must be around 14 weeks?
So who else have started TTCing?
Actually I saw CP and November's post and then subsequently Patsy's post. I chose not to write then coz I knew it would be a neverending debate just like whether Euthanasia should be approved or not. As a Catholic, we are not supposed to abort a foetus, unless its threatening the mother's life. Everyone got their own beliefs. Just like my colleague who goes for amnio directly without going thru triple test because she wants to be very sure. (erm no need to say more)
Every child is a blessing. Been thinking of having second (or rather technically 4th one) kid, but hubby very against coz dun wan to go thru another nightmarish pregnancy. Sigh... so maybe gonna just have only one.
Let me know when u gals meeting up again.
eunice_sng71
Active Member
Hi Patsy,
I'm so so happy for you too knowing that you are preggy! Take good care and God Bless !
I'm so so happy for you too knowing that you are preggy! Take good care and God Bless !
Hi ladies,
I am back and have gone through all the postings. Hubby and I had made the decision and our baby is is induced last sun. He was confirmed by the doctor as down baby from the deep crease on his palm. The contractions pain caused by the medication lasted 1 whole day until my boy came out at 4.30pm on Monday. The labour pain was really bad but not as bad and traumatising as my emotional pain. Cried everyday till now and I relive the moment my boy came out everytime I close my eyes. I can still feel him kicking beside me when he came out. My hubby did not let the nurse show us the baby as he was afraid I will be more attached and sad. I do not know what I will do without my hubby..he has been very supportive and comforting to me. I will never forget this phase of my life and I will cherish what ever memories that is left of my boy (scan photos) forever.
Sorry for causing the debates...I did not meant to impose in this discussion board. I do not know of any other forums locally other than this. I have been to foreign forums where mothers had to make the decision to terminate pregancy after amino test but they are so far away.
Going through this episode, I can see that my family and friends are always there for me and I am really thankful for what they have showered me. Thank you ladies for the support too. I do not think I have made the best choice but I have made it with my hubby and family and I will have to live with it for the rest of my life.
Everyone has asked me to try for another baby but I think I need time to heal emotionally before I dare to look forward...currently, I think I will end my medical leave earlier and go back to work asap..possible next week. I do not know what to do at home except to cry.
Sorry for the long post.
Congrates Patsy on your new pregnancy. I understand your stand and belief and I read your postings on Sabie...I understand how u feel.
I am back and have gone through all the postings. Hubby and I had made the decision and our baby is is induced last sun. He was confirmed by the doctor as down baby from the deep crease on his palm. The contractions pain caused by the medication lasted 1 whole day until my boy came out at 4.30pm on Monday. The labour pain was really bad but not as bad and traumatising as my emotional pain. Cried everyday till now and I relive the moment my boy came out everytime I close my eyes. I can still feel him kicking beside me when he came out. My hubby did not let the nurse show us the baby as he was afraid I will be more attached and sad. I do not know what I will do without my hubby..he has been very supportive and comforting to me. I will never forget this phase of my life and I will cherish what ever memories that is left of my boy (scan photos) forever.
Sorry for causing the debates...I did not meant to impose in this discussion board. I do not know of any other forums locally other than this. I have been to foreign forums where mothers had to make the decision to terminate pregancy after amino test but they are so far away.
Going through this episode, I can see that my family and friends are always there for me and I am really thankful for what they have showered me. Thank you ladies for the support too. I do not think I have made the best choice but I have made it with my hubby and family and I will have to live with it for the rest of my life.
Everyone has asked me to try for another baby but I think I need time to heal emotionally before I dare to look forward...currently, I think I will end my medical leave earlier and go back to work asap..possible next week. I do not know what to do at home except to cry.
Sorry for the long post.
Congrates Patsy on your new pregnancy. I understand your stand and belief and I read your postings on Sabie...I understand how u feel.
Hi Java, Eunice and Estbaby, thank you for your greetings, it's been a relief to get the result, now i can finally enjoy being preggy
Hi November, please just take care of yourself. I'm sorry if my posts hurt you in any way...
I do realize how big a decision you've had to make and no matter what, I know how painful it can be to lose our baby. Take things slowly and have faith that the Lord wil bless you with a bundle of joy soon.
If you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to contact me, ok?
Hi November, please just take care of yourself. I'm sorry if my posts hurt you in any way...
I do realize how big a decision you've had to make and no matter what, I know how painful it can be to lose our baby. Take things slowly and have faith that the Lord wil bless you with a bundle of joy soon.
If you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to contact me, ok?
patsy
congrats! dun worry about anything. just go for it! God is on your side. everything will be fine. Sabie is there to protect both of you.
Remember to drink more milk and eat healthy food. hee hee that doesn't mean snack a lot ah... if not the weight will gain on your side not your bb.
please keep in touch! update us as often as possible!
congrats! dun worry about anything. just go for it! God is on your side. everything will be fine. Sabie is there to protect both of you.
Remember to drink more milk and eat healthy food. hee hee that doesn't mean snack a lot ah... if not the weight will gain on your side not your bb.
please keep in touch! update us as often as possible!
Hi! November,
Take good care of yourself. Dun forget, at least take good care of yourself for the sake of your eldest child. Cos if you go back to work, you will not have good rest. Must do proper confinement for the sake of good health.
Feel free to PM me. I know it is the tough emotional period now.
{{HUGS}}
Take good care of yourself. Dun forget, at least take good care of yourself for the sake of your eldest child. Cos if you go back to work, you will not have good rest. Must do proper confinement for the sake of good health.
Feel free to PM me. I know it is the tough emotional period now.
{{HUGS}}
Thank you ladies...everyone here have been through alot and is still able to support and encourage others..I am really touched.
Will work hard to slowly come to terms...like what my friend told me, she said life is short, do not dwell too long...look forward and move on for those who care and love u.
Hugs to every ladies here! Time will heal...I hope.
Will work hard to slowly come to terms...like what my friend told me, she said life is short, do not dwell too long...look forward and move on for those who care and love u.
Hugs to every ladies here! Time will heal...I hope.
superbunny
New Member
hi everyone..
how are all of you doing? Have been quite busy at work due to some events going on. anyone keen to meet up soon?
November-
you must take care of yourself. that is the most important thing.
how are all of you doing? Have been quite busy at work due to some events going on. anyone keen to meet up soon?
November-
Mylollipopdays
Active Member
hi mummies
wanted to post last night but board was under maintenance. I've been tied up at work too but never failed to check in on the board regularly. The board's been v quiet this week, how's everyone? It'll be nice if we can arrange for another meet-up since many of us missed the last one. How about weekend of 1st Sep?
After 2 months' wait, my babies' niche is now complete with photo plaque. My hubby took some photos last Sunday and I've uploaded them at our blog - http://ashleyisourangel.blogspot.com Feel free to leave your comments so we'll know you've visited. Till then, take care.
wanted to post last night but board was under maintenance. I've been tied up at work too but never failed to check in on the board regularly. The board's been v quiet this week, how's everyone? It'll be nice if we can arrange for another meet-up since many of us missed the last one. How about weekend of 1st Sep?
After 2 months' wait, my babies' niche is now complete with photo plaque. My hubby took some photos last Sunday and I've uploaded them at our blog - http://ashleyisourangel.blogspot.com Feel free to leave your comments so we'll know you've visited. Till then, take care.
blessedmommy
Active Member
dearest angel, just visited ur blog. its so beautiful! the marble u used is so nice! wished i have used the same.
remember thats just their final resting place on earth. their eternal home is in heaven and they r waiting for u to join them someday. im also looking forward to family reunion. but for now, its time to chrish and love our loved ones who r still living.
can i join on 1st sept? its my daughter's 1st birthday party in the noon but if u ladies r going for dinner, i will be able to make it. but if u gals decide to do lunch instead then i gotta give it a miss.
remember thats just their final resting place on earth. their eternal home is in heaven and they r waiting for u to join them someday. im also looking forward to family reunion. but for now, its time to chrish and love our loved ones who r still living.
can i join on 1st sept? its my daughter's 1st birthday party in the noon but if u ladies r going for dinner, i will be able to make it. but if u gals decide to do lunch instead then i gotta give it a miss.
superbunny
New Member
It is so lovely! I left a comment on the blog
The weekend of 1 Sept sounds good.. me prefer dinner cos the lunch time is always a rush for me.
hugs
steph
Mylollipopdays
Active Member
hey ladies,
glad you all liked the niche. I'm for dinner on the 1st Sep too!
glad you all liked the niche. I'm for dinner on the 1st Sep too!
Hi Angel,
Wonder if you still rem me from FET & Ashley thread? Glad to know that you are back to work, hope you are doing well. I still visit Ashley blog from time to time, I love your blog, and the niche is beautiful. Your 3 angels are so lucky to have lovely parents like you and David. I sincerely wish many good things will come your way.
Wonder if you still rem me from FET & Ashley thread? Glad to know that you are back to work, hope you are doing well. I still visit Ashley blog from time to time, I love your blog, and the niche is beautiful. Your 3 angels are so lucky to have lovely parents like you and David. I sincerely wish many good things will come your way.
superbunny
New Member
hello,
Have been so busy at work.. crazy crazy work days. I might not be able to make it for dinner on 1 Sept cos my family is arranging some gathering. Can we meet during tea time instead? How does tea on 1 Sept sound? We can meet somewhere in town and have a nice relaxing tea or coffee session?
cheers
steph
Have been so busy at work.. crazy crazy work days. I might not be able to make it for dinner on 1 Sept cos my family is arranging some gathering. Can we meet during tea time instead? How does tea on 1 Sept sound? We can meet somewhere in town and have a nice relaxing tea or coffee session?
cheers
steph
Mylollipopdays
Active Member
hi mums
everyone must be really caught up at work, hence the silence here. I too have been swarmped with work that I've been working OT at home! Am afraid can't make it for tea this Sat so I reckon the meeting has to be postponed again. BB, yes I remember you of course. Thanks for dropping by now and then to check on me. How are things with you? Help me send my regards to Dr Foong when you go for your checkups.
everyone must be really caught up at work, hence the silence here. I too have been swarmped with work that I've been working OT at home! Am afraid can't make it for tea this Sat so I reckon the meeting has to be postponed again. BB, yes I remember you of course. Thanks for dropping by now and then to check on me. How are things with you? Help me send my regards to Dr Foong when you go for your checkups.
hi girls.. how is everyone? sorry been MIA also, was more because i've been having some bleeding so actually didn't want to come here and spoil everyone's mood... if this saturday isn't practical for everyone, good
let's wait till i am allowed out of the house then we all go out!! hehe
superbunny
New Member
Hi!
Glad to see some responses in this forum.. its okie, we can push back the tea session some time later. Meanwhile, overwhelmed by work! am so stressed. sigh...
Glad to see some responses in this forum.. its okie, we can push back the tea session some time later. Meanwhile, overwhelmed by work! am so stressed. sigh...