Support Group - Stillbirths

Hi Angel and Curl,

Am always moved by your stories.. i really feel that we as mummies would do anything for our babies, even if it is to put ourselves through pain and agony, it would be all worthwhile. Curl, i hope that you will be blessed with babies soon! I was amazed at your ex-colleague's story. It is really a miracle! It is hearing stories like this that gives us all hope to move on.

For Angel, u rest well and don't be in a hurry to get back to work. What u said about aching for them in slience is so true.. every saturday, both me and hubby just want to hug him so tight and tell him so much. After every saturday, i look forward to the next saturday. We should try to meet up soon again, when u are better and more settled in ur work.

Angela - sorry to hear about ur loss. Hugs
 


Hi Angela
OMG, poor you. Did they put a stitch for you the 2nd round? I tot a stitch would solve the problem with an average 90% success rate?

I dun have msn, if you dun mind, you can pm me.
 
Curl - Thanks for sharing! I have learn a lot from this forum and kind hearted people like you. You are right! we wouldnt know if we dun try.

Angel - Take your time to rest. possible get a few more days of rest. Health is more important than anything else. Not sure if you believe in TCM or not, why not you try to see a TCM and see what TCM has to say about your health? Hope we can meet again soon, really motivated by Steph and Patsy.
 
Hi Angel

I am similar. Have twice premature labor. But still I will want to try for 3rd even though doctors are all saying my risk is even higher next time. I dun care, I believe in getting what I want. I won't let anything to stop me. Yes, I do fear, and there are a lot of uncertainties. I know I will worry to death throughout my whole pregnancy, I even thought of staying at kkh throughout the whole 3rd pregnancy because I am soooo phobia, but still, I will want to try. I won't want to live in regret.

I hope I can succeed. I hope you can too. All the best to you.

All the best to you mummies who have lost your dearest baby like me.

Fairytale, I cried even now after 2 years has passed whenever I thought of my elder son. It is normal.
 
Hi Angel/KKF, a girl in our church had 8 miscarriages before giving birth to 2 healthy babies, the eldest is in college now! Continue to have faith. If you girls want to hear her tell her story, I can arranage a tea session with her when she comes back from her holidays.
 
Hi Angel, Curl, Angela,

Have you gals thought of taking organic food? I'm not a big fan of organic stuff, but I read that taking foods free of pesticides will greatly improve chances of pregnancy and outcome. You know you seldom hear women in our mothers' generation losing babies prematurely in 2nd trimester. Dunno why our generation, m/c and stillbirth like so common. Think its our stress levels too. Have you gals test yourselves with diabetes? I read from one motherhood magazine that this lady had recurrent m/cs, then she tested positive for diabetes. The doc put her on metformin and she manage to deliver her baby full term.

Angel,
Pls ignore the anonymous person who posted on your website. That are all kinds of wierd and stupid ppl in the internet. Last time I posted a crying video of my 2 mth old son in Youtube, a user posted a comment saying my baby's face look deformed. Duh!!! Super bo liao ppl.

Big Hugs to everyone feeling under the weather and missing your darlings. I think its the rainy and cold weather that making everyone sentimental and heavy hearted. Take care!
 
Hi Angel,

Ignore that anonymus person. He/she is too insentive. Cannot understand the anxious & pain what mothers had gone through. We all wish that Ashley will pull through but later she decided to give up.

Sometimes some internet users are so bo liao. Leave bo liao msg.

Pasty: Wow I'm so admire that lady in your church. So encouraging testimonial.

Take good care all of you.
happy.gif
 
Hi Angel,
Hope you have enjoyed your trip in Japan...always good to go on trip to be recharged
happy.gif


Totally understand your contemplation and anxiety to get back to work so as not to labelled as a liability to the company. But do rest well and recover...nothing is more impt than your health...
happy.gif


it is easy to tell you to hang on to your faith the HE will provide...but at the same time, I find myself losing the faith..it is a roller coaster ride...every sunday morning is a dilemma for me...to go or not to go...

to try again or to adopt? to go full-gear on ttc or to go slow? many times, I find myself thinking about it...over n over...i am fasting approaching mid 30s..time is not on my side...i believe no one can decide for us except ourselves...maybe after adoption, you will tell yourself why didnt i do this earlier? or maybe not? sometimes i ask myself do i really want a kid when i see some spoiled brats at the mall screaming at the top of their lungs..then i congrat myself at being childless, other times, i would love to cuddle to a warm nice-smelling bb, one to call my own.... Getting my furkid is the best decision i have made..i could pour my maternal love to her and know i am her world...is it a substitute of my affection? i would think so...but yet i cant complain cos at least God has given me an outlet to release the overwhelming affection and love i have in me for someone...

life is full of injustices, some ppl just get it all...promotion, babies, etc etc...some dont...i just console myself everyday that i am not in the worst scenarios...with 3 mcs behind me, i have become a more sensitive person and more experiences to share....hopefully in the process, i will become a better person...

just one of those days, i need to blabber..
 
Hi Curl

I dint know abt the IC until i recent mc happened. If i get preggie again next round, at week 12 have to do the stitch. You was saying the success rate is average 90%? cos some say 70-80%... just hope the next want i wont hv to go thru this again. 2 induced labour but no baby... is just so heart breaking.
 
hi applemuffin and ladies

talking abt this world being unfair. Just met up with a friend of hubby's who's a doc. She told us she discovered y'day that she's 6 weeks pregnant with identical twins but contemplating terminating the pregnancy (thru D & C) cos of the high risks of twin-to-twin transfusion and subsequent complications resulting from premature births etc. Moreover, she and her hubby (also a doc) are contented with their marriage, their careers and their healthy 1-yr old toddler at the moment and not ready to take any chances with the twin pregnancy. While we respect the decision she makes, hubby and I can't help but wish that we too can conceive so easily and bring a child so easily into this world...some pple just have it all.
 
angel

Better take good care of urself yar? Make sure u are ok before u go back to work.
happy.gif


hmm... perhaps it was wat i've been thru, i really dislike pple who takes pregnancies and babies for granted. It happened many times that i advise pregnant moms to refrain from doing certain things which i know are no good for them (eg. dun strain ur back or tiptop to reach something high up, dun squat, dun run, dun walk too fast), but pple just give me that sort of "aiyah, why u so kam cheong" look... Some even said in my face "aiyah, mine is singleton, urs different mah, u had multiples"... when i heard this i feel very upset lor. But whenever i see friends who are expecting and not doing right, there i go again...

i am not sure why ur friends want to terminate the pregnancy. Could there be something which they din wanna share with u? Maybe there's a complication? i try not to jump to conclusion, but if there're no odds against them keeping the babies, then they should not think about terminating the preg. If they are doing this just becos there is a chance of twin-to-twin transfusion, then that's not fair lor. There're always chances of complications in EVERY pregnancy, be it single or multiples. So if there's no signs of complications, then should continue with the pregnancy. My two cents worth.
 
Hi mummies..

It is so lucky to be blessed with twins but its also so scary to think about what the couple intends to do. I can only wish that they will be able to see how lucky they are.

Someone came back to the office today after her maternity leave and didn't know about Gabriel. Was telling her the story and i was quite sad... how do you deal with it? I thought that i was doing quite alright but each time i have to tell the story, my heart tears a little.
 
hi ladies

checking in from my office here during lunch break...so far, thank God, everyone's been quite kind, did not ask abt babies...met with boss, he just updated me on new job scopes (some manpower changes) and also did not mention abt my loss so am holding up rather well. Just felt v tired cos past few nights haven't had good sleep due to my persistent coughs. My friend's pregnancy have no complications so far, just that they're not willing to bear the consequences should there be any...the choice is theirs, we can only wish we are as blessed...
 
How can anyone just terminate a pregnancy like that? the twins might work out to be healthy afterall. I had complications in my last pregnancy and persist on as I had hoped that things will turn out better which did not. but I think I did my best as mother to my baby the best that I could until her last breath.

I also have been telling my preg colleague not to do this and that but she just take it like "there she goes again" but I really cant help but being paranoid about pregnancy. Then after a while, I just decided not to say anything more to her.

Angel - good to hear that your colleagues are not mentioning it. keep our fingers cross that there is no ignorant ppl around! I hated it too when people asked when I came back to work after my confinement. meanwhile, take care of your health..
 
Hi all,

i decided to post here as i really need support from pple who have gone through what i am going through right now...

On 13 Jul (Fri the 13th)on my 19th week of pregnancy my detailed scan revealed that my baby has a heart defect. It is very heart wrenching... as i always thought i will have a healthy baby like everyone else i know... i did an amnio test as well as heart defect is associated with down syndrome. I am only 29...

Went to KKH to seek a second opinion and doc said there're 2 holes in baby's heart but it's repairable.. we see some light when we heard this.. we started our plan to save more for our baby's future surgeries.. everyone incldg us pray everyday for our baby to be normal..

2 weeks later ... last thu my gynae's nurse called. The amnio result shows that baby is down... my heart sinks... i cant take it as we have decided to keep the baby thinking it's only heart defects... all our prayers are not answered... so many whys appeared in my head... i wanted my baby so much and why this must happen to him!

We decided to terminate the pregnancy the next day ... it's an induced labour.. the physical pain and suffering is only temp but the emotional heartache stays all these while..

I really miss my baby very much... i couldn't sleep well.. i miss his kicks... i miss him so much.. it's hard for me to get over this... i am now reading a book on surviving pregnancy loss to cope with this... but i think the best is to share with u guys in this thread...

I am on 1 mth mc..having my 1 mth confinement .. everyday seems so long.. i have nothing to do no baby to look after.. my breasts are engorged and some milk started to drip.. it hurts seeing the milk which is meant for my baby...wanted to go back to work soon but the thought of facing my co workers is really difficult... i also have another colleague who is due in sep..

Everyone tells me that im still young.. can try again.. but i have LOST my baby.. it's nothing to do with me being young...

We thought of trying for a baby in the future.. but im really scared... will this happen again.. i really cant take it if it happens again...

I find it very difficult & hard for me to cope...
 
Hi cp,

Am so sorry to hear about ur loss. I am sure that some of the other mummies here will be able to share their stories with you and most importantly, that we are all here together to support each other through this difficult period.
 
dearest CP,

I wish I could give you a hug right now...you've done the right thing to share your loss with us here, so many mummies here have been through similar heartaches and we can 100% identify with your pain and agony...you're right, it has NOTHING to do with us being young or old, it's our VERY FLESH AND BLOOD that we've lost forever...Like what we mentioned in Ashley's aulogy, when our babies die, all our hopes, our aspirations and our joy die along with them...people who've not experienced this will NEVER be able to comprehend the depths of our pain...even today, when I saw a pregnant colleague happily prancing about in her maternity dress (she wasn't pregnant when I last was in office), I can't help but avoid eye-contact with her...I can't bear to see her beaming with pride at her pregnancy while I can only cry for my babies. How come other women's pregnancies are trouble-free and ours has to be plagued with problems over and again? Like you, we pray everyday, many of our friends and relatives also prayed (some even fasted) and interceded for GOD to have mercy on us, save my twins (esp Ashley) but in the end, He still chose to take them home, denying us the chance of being parents and leaving us with empty arms and broken hearts...

Feel free to rave and rant here as writing is a way of relieving your sorrows. I too have ordered several books on infant deaths (and pregnancy losses) and have been reading them as a refuge at night when all is quiet and solemn. Do take this 1 month to rest and let your physical body recuperate. Don't be in a hurry to resume work. Believe me, I just went through C-section to deliver my twins and I didn't realise how weak and susceptible I was till recently. Even simple tasks like marketing, cooking and taking walks tire me easily. Not to mention, a simple cold and cough takes forever to heal...

For your breast engorgement, did you ask the doc to prescribe you a drug to stop milk production? I cried when I had to take it because I wanted so much to breastfeed my babies but since they were no longer alive, there's no more use for my milk. The lactation nurse (Cynthia) at KKH is very experienced and applied cold Chinese cabbage treatment on me to lessen the pain. Why not you try it? It really helps. Hope our posts can be of some support and comfort to you here...
 
Dearest CP,

Reading your story reminds me of myself. I am of the similar plight as you in my last pregnancy. My baby's NT is thick at 10 weeks. I also did the CVS test (similar to Amnio) which shows that the baby is normal however at 20 weeks, the detailed scan shows that her lungs and stomach is full of fluid and also heart defect as well. I didnt have the heart to abort her at that time. At 23 weeks, her heartbeat stopped and at 24 weeks (4th day of CNY) I also went thru induced labour without epidural, all the labour pain, the massive blood loss etc. It has been more than 5 mth since. My baby would have been born in June if she was alive. I also thought of going thru all the odds if she could make it alive.

I had also thot that this kind of things would not happen to me as my 1st child is normal so my 2nd pregnancy should be the same. I am also not at the high risk age. It is especially heartche during the confinement period.

About breast engorgement, I took a drug to stop the milk production during my stay in the hospital. I stayed at the hospital for 3 days as I kept fainting due to the massive blood loss.

Please try to take extra care in your health despite the sorrow. Take a good rest and try not to carry heavy things etc. Take whatever tonic and strict confinement rules. Cos even till now I am still not in 100% good health so please really take care.

Until now, I still dun have the answer as to why this happens but life has to go on and we have to move on. The mummies here helped me a lot in terms of overcoming the grieve and they gave me the strength to move forward. I am now seeing TCM and will try to concieve again with the help from TCM and hopefully things will turn out well.

Feel free to PM me if you need to talk or need some support.

{{HUGS}}
 
HI CP, am sorry to hear about what you are going through right now. Just curious, why did you decide to terminate if the doctors said the heart problem was repairable? Did your gyne recommend it or was it because of the Down's situation?
 
Thanks for the words of encouragement .. i post here prior to reading wat have happened to some of you.. i cried after reading.. i dunno wat to say...and i cant help thinking of my baby..

Hi Patsy,

it bcos of the down's.. you may find us selfish... i agree we are... i dun think i can face the challenge of bringing up a down kid with heart defects... the mental and financial situations i will be in... i have known a mum who has the same situation... the hardship she's going thru.. but she still stay cheerful... i dun think i can handle things as well as she does... and what wil happen to him if we are gone...

We prayed hard that he has only heart defects but that's not the case...

Each day since he's disgnosed with heart defects i talked to him... to be strong... to be normal... mummy and daddy and many others love u very much.. u must be a normal child... watever daddy and mummy do we hope it's for the best for you.. pls forgive mummy and daddy.... pls forgive us...

Im sorry my baby for what i have done... to a better place .. u go... im really sorry...
 
CP,

We tend to blame ourselves when such things happen. Do what you think you can. I know how you feel and how agonising those months of knowing that you are carrying a baby which is not normal or might even be alive. I cried everyday from week 10 till the day she died. I just felt that there is something in my throat and my heart ache everyday, hoping that she will be ok and miracle to happen. I talk to her everyday to be healthy and strong. But somehow, it might be mother's instinct, just one day I told her that if she thinks she wants to go she can go and would not blame her for not hanging on as I just felt that she is suffering as well in my womb with all the defects. U never know what could have happen even if you have kept the baby. You might have end his sufferings too or you might even have lost him in the journey if you would have carried on the pregnancy. I am just trying to tell you that there is no right or wrong in your decision so dont feel sorry.

This is fate and god's will for things to happen. It is never easy as we were heavily pregnant and having to let our baby go.
 
It's nearly a week since estbaby posted here. How's everyone? What are your plans for National Day weekend (if any)? David and I are taking a short trip back to Penang (his hometown) to spend time with my MIL...my sister, bro-in-law and lil nephew Caleb will be joining us as they've never been to Penang. Really hope they'll enjoy it...

Today, CCK Marble Co. called up and said our babies' photo plaque is ready (finally after nearly 2 months!). We went by after work and it was installed onto their niche...going to the columbarium at dusk has its charms - it's very serene and transquil... (not as noisy as on a Sunday morning!) we feel very peaceful there but terribly sad that no matter how long we stay there, eventually we have to bid goodbye as we can't bring our babies home with us...

cp, I hope you're feeling better by the day...I've been thinking abt you and how you're coping...do keep us informed...

Have a good National Day break everyone. Let's meet up again for dinner when I return? Maybe more mummies would like to join us this time?
 
Hi Angel,

I am good. Have been very caught up with work, so that is keeping me busy. Gabriel's 100th day was on Saturday so it was a day of reflection for me, and i wonder how i managed those 100 days without him.

Good to know that your angel's photo is ready! It must be very lovely
happy.gif
Hope that it brings for you and your hubby peace and i am sure that your babies love it.

Am also going away for a short break this National Day holidays but have to be away for work after that. Hope to meet up for dinner too.. Just keep me posted!
 
Hi! Everyone,

Hope everyone is doing fine since no post means ok I guess. I do check for new post whenever I can.

I also have been caught up at work lately. Also cos I have found another avenue to voice out as I have been communicating with CP privately since both of us share very similar plight and am glad that we can both share our emotions together.

I am not going anywhere but just take leave on 10 August just to relax and break away from work.

Let me know when is the meet up and I will try to make it when I can.
 
Hi ladies,

My doctor called to tell me that my 19 weeks boy is a down baby after the amino fluid test. Friday will be seeing him to decide on the next course of action.
Both me and my husband's decision is to terminate the pregnancy asap as we do not want the baby to come out and suffer. Its a heart breaking decision but we talked about it when our blood test came out last month.
I have read all your posting...I am really clueless about what will be happening to my case...really scare now.
 
November, is it confirmed? Or is it only high chance? I know how sad it is... I have saw parents of down sydrome coping well with their children too, you know? They shared with us that they have learnt a lot from their down children.
 
haiz...I really envy people with smooth pregnancies...Reading what all of you have went thru, including myself, I am just so envious of those who are blessed with healthy children, and smooth pregnancies and labor.
 
Hi kkf,

The doctor said its 100% confirmed down baby, there will be alot of issues on taking care of down children which our family will not be able to cope with.
Have to let this boy go to a happier place...
What will be the process like of inducing the baby out? Need to stay in hospital? How long will I need to be away from job? Sigh....we did not really expect anything like this, I have a normal boy in year 2003...guess every pregnancy is different.
 
kkf yah lor...

november, dunno if you should ask your questions here, because to be honest, most of us lost our babies not by choice, but by fate. It's quite painful for us to hear you ask us questions about how to terminate your baby!

Hi Angel, sure, when Steph comes back let's all met up, ok

Steph, have a good trip!!! Enjoy and take care of yourself, ok?
 
November, I cannot say much, If I happen to have down syndrome baby, may do the same thing as you... this really worries me for my next pregnancy. I am 29 years old like you.

Think you need to do 1 month confinement like any others.

Inducing baby out think is popping some pills into vaginal to fasten the opening of cervix? I am not too sure leh, just wat I heard of.

Patsy, you r rite, we lost our babies thru fate...haiz...Fate was cruel to us, and hope it will be kinder to us the next time.
 
Hi kkf,

I am already 32...thank you for your information and support.

Patsy, its not easy to terminate pregnancy after going 3 months of horrible morning sickness and carrying the baby to nearly 5 months and feeling his kicks everyday. But, having a down baby and needing to take care of him for the rest of his life and his brother for got take care of him after we as parents die, we have to make such painful decision of letting him go at this stage.
Though this is our choice, its not easy and not less painful.
My chance of having a down baby is 1 to 800 and I and that 1....guess someone got to be that 1...I have to resign to fate and get on with life
 
november, sorry but i just cannot sympathize with you, a downs baby is a special child, in more ways that one. many of them are self sufficient and responsible. you are killing your baby by choice, the pain you inflict on yourself is by your own doing, due to fear or selfishness, or both. I am really sorry for not being able to relate to your "pain"
 
Hi! November,

Hope you can understand why some of the mummies here like Patsy could not sympathize with you as they have been thru very much more than me and you. I pick myself up thru their courage and their trying their very best to give to their child.

I know it is not easy, I also have been thru the morning sickness and carrying the baby to mid trimester. The agony and emotional torture is really hard.

For me, as you would have read in prev post, I didnt opt to terminate my baby. She had mutiple defects and I just couldnt have the heart to terminate as I have seen stories that things might turn out well. Eventually, when my baby died in my womb, I knew I already did my best as her mummy giving her the best that I could and I have no regrets giving her just that few weeks till she pass on.

As I said before, there is no right or wrong in your decision. The decision is yours and only you yourself will know if what you did is right or wrong.
 
Hi November,

Not a slight chance for you to give birth to your child?

I saw quite a number of mummies outside / my church have down kids. Although these kids are a bit noisy, but when you see them worshipping in church, they are so sincere and loud
happy.gif


Some down kids I saw in teenage age are also well behaved and can take care of themselves for simple jobs.

Well the decision is yours and hope you can consider seriously before abort the child.

God Bless !
 
November

My heart goes out to you. It is one of the toughest decison a mum has to make.

The joy of having a child & then the dreaded result.

After going through so many weeks and then discover the baby is a down child..

I can undertstand ur decision:

Finacially wise, a special child do need more
With a special child, the other sibling will be affected definitely.

PS: it beats me why CP is doing the same thing and is being understood and November is not
 
I can only say this, if Heaven is fair, pls give special children to the mummies who will keep special children.

It is always easy to condemn another one's act.

Only by going through the whole process then one can understand wat this decision means
 
hi cherrygal (and November), sorry i didn't mean to pick you out, i actually did feel as strongly about CP, but that time didn't have the time to post more comprehensively. Then i just decided to let it lie.

I am just really sad that ppl now seem to take the decision to terminate a pregnancy so readily... even a child with Down's syndrome IS a child, a human being!

I had to make this decision with Sabie, becaause her heart condition was very very serious, so I kinda know what it takes, the indecision, the fear, the anger... but we made the decision to have faith and just take each day as it comes. of course as you all know it didn't work out the way we hoped but the 17 mths i had with Sabie was the best ever time of my life, no regrets at all!

i dunno... jsut wish ppl would take the risk for their own child..
 
Patsy

I can understand where u r coming from. Seeing Sabie's picture, i was very upset when u lost her

the dif is Sabie is not a Down Syndrome child. She is an intelligient & lively gal who is unfortunately born with heart defect.

Have nothing against anyone, just felt sorry for November & CP. It is a tough decision for them I noe

But there are really mothers' who cannot afford to keep a Down Symdrome child and yet is not poor enough to qualify for financial aid

Hopefully, someone can start a Home for the Down Children, so tat parents who really cannot afford to keep them can at least deliver them

and a personal qn, would you be willing to adopt a special kid
 
hihi mommies, im sure we all have our reasons for doing things but our ultimate aim is to act in the best interest of our beloved baby. i understand where patsy is coming from. having said that, i understand if november wants to terminate this preg. we r here to encourage n offer support to each othern not to judge each other's actions. im sure november's pains r no less than ours. i myself have lost my boy at 2 mth old due to heart defect. his condition was not detected until he was born at 5 wks old. if u ask me what wud i have done if i had known he has this condition when he was in my womb, i wud have answered the same as patsy. that i wud still keep him. the 7 weeks he was with me, though its short but it shall live within me for as long as i live. just like patsy, i have no regrets at all. painful as it was to see him leave me, but at least i gave him a chance to live,to be part of this family, i gave myself a chance to let him feel his mommy love him when he was around.

pls dun misunderstand. we r not condemning ur acts. who r we to? im sure patsy shares ur pain cos so many of the mommies here r trying so hard just to hold a baby in their arms. im sure they will fight for anything just to see their baby being born. normal or not, with down's or without, these babies will be equally treasured. im sure u have ur reasons for wanting to terminate ur preg. everyone of us r born with different level of strengths, some can cope while some cant with a special need child. and i truly agree with cherrygal, that having s special need child and other normal children wud mean that u have to sacrifice many things for ur normal children. but then again, we have seen some down's leading normal lives, of cos that with the help of the love and patience of their own mothers and family members. talk this out with ur hubby and family before u make a final decision ok. and when u have come to an agreement, do not look back.

sorry for such a long post.
 
blessedmommy

I have always like looking at ur posting, cos I can feel tat u truly are a very nice lady

Just my 2 cents' worth, mummies like CP & November's pain can be much worse , cos not only are they coping with the loss of a child, but also the guilt of terminating the pregancies
 
Hi, November, CP,

Im sorry to learnt what you have to go through. I had went through similar experiences when I was pregnant with my daughter. Two DS markers and an unexplainable cyst. I was lucky to have the results tested negative. However, none of the radiologists or doctors in the hospital could explain what causes the cyst and none of them could confirm it its a potentially life threatening one. It has never occurred to me to have the pregnancy terminated even thought the doctors pointed out on the high possibility of having a DS child because of the length of her nose back then. While waiting for the results, we were actively reading and absorbing all the information on raising a DS child. You may want to visit the following site before finalizing your decision.

http://www.ndss.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1812&Itemid=95

My girlfriends brother was born with DS too. He is in his early thirties now and he is able to earn his own keeps too.
 
cherrygal, i duno.. just different ways of looking at things i guess. i don't mean to be judgemental, and yes, i would adopt a down's child, if the opportunity presented itself. am curious you just signed into the forum in August but you know about Sabie, is this a new nick??

whilst sabie was not down's, her heart condition also made it quite difficult financially and emotionally to care for her, monthly cardio visits (not cheap), we had to spend almost $15K by the time she was 2 days old for her first surgery... yah it was taxing, meant no more branded stuff, no more eating out often, no more holidays, every little extra we had to be put aside for her op... not only that, the chances of her heart stopping just like that was high, do you know how many nights i sat in bed scared to sleep coz she might suddenly stop breathing?? is that stress easier than caring for a down's child?? living in the knowledge that any day she could collapse in my arms??? but there WAS a chance she would survive through surgery and I was the risk i was willing to take. becuase there is nothing more special than having your own baby in your arms, hugging you, kissing you, calling you mama.

i just wish some ppl would be willing to take a chance sometimes... becuase this is their own flesh and blood!!!
 
patsy, i felt ur pains! cos i was just like u. many nites i sat on my bed trying to keep awake cos i was so scared when i woke up, joel would have left in his sleep and i didnt know! caring for a special child really takes a mother's love to endure all. *hugs* to u!

cherrygal
thanks for ur kind words. am just voicing my honest opinions here.
 
Patsy

U r rite, I am indeed using another nick. When such sensitive topics are concerned, I m not comfortable with revealing my real nick, in case i offend anyone

I saw the posting some days ago and wanted to comfort November but again...can be awkward using my real nick , in case i get bombed

so register a new nick cos i really feel for her fr my heart
 
cherrygal, why hide behind a new nick if you really feel for her? we are expressing opinions here and feelings. if you feel strongly enough to make comments you should not feel any reason to hide
 


You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top