SUPPORT GROUP - INFERTILTY

helloooo ladies
i so so so happy to find suport like u all that once i have time to spare i can come here and just bare my thoughts and feelings..

went to sec school classmate's wedding yesterday and see some of them so catch up about motherhood..their is like a breeze want kids get pregnant and got great support to take care of kids and have great career etc...i feel that why God is so unfair etc... 1 of them, even have 3 kids..

then i remember the christian radio broadcaster (107 fm at 11 pm) sharing about a story about been contented on fri .. the snail and frog met one day... snail complained to frog about his big shell so heavy must carry everywhere..frog told snail every family has their own problems and just then a bird came..and the frog got eaten up and snail went inside his home and is safe...

thus i kept reminding last nite at the wedding i m a snail...i do carry this heavy burden of y cant conceive again... but i believe allof us have our share of problems tooo.. even though some of them might look so happy..


last nite cant sleep cos bad cramps again and kept telling myself...pls dun come...my 1st child was born on 30 sept supposed to be 1st oct so i always hold on to the hope that i will conceive another child in sept...even though me n my hubby also oct babies ( same as u dor..mine is 21 and hubby is 19) but of cos we love to have a 20 oct child but we def prefer a sept baby cos another mth wait can killl....

every mth i am so forgetful i need to surf pregnancy web to remind myself signs of pregnancy... yes i am wondering if my taste buds are weird or do burp a lot or any nauseaousness etc... but i can only wait to check my undie sometime feel a flow of liquid coming out i will be so depressed and rush to check then if not red i will feel so relieved....how i wish tue is here.

dor any sign of hope since it's 21 already?

do u know i nearly cried when i see oct mtb starting out cos i tested on 28th day and there is nothing and that lady checked so early and there is something...i can only pray for a miracle now....
 


toy collector,
i understand this is something like: i c u good n u c me good.. right?

i remember few wks ago, my DH, DD n i went Mcdonalds... we ordered a meal each, n we always ask our DD whether she is interested in the Happy Meal Toys n she is that day...

we then sat down eating.. then came a couple with 4 children (2 boys 2 girls, 2 children 2 toddlers). i told my DH: wow! so nice 4 children.. my ideal!!

couple were so busy dividing the meals among the children n the children were like: i want this.. i want that.... i c the mommy so fed-up.... n 1 toddler running around, daddy asked the bro or sis to catch the toddler back... the other younger toddler is crying...

n the children kept on asking their parent y my DD can hv 2 happy meal toys whereas they must share... the couple keep on looking at us too... my DH said: u c u envy them hv 4 children n keep looking at them? THEY envy us hv only 1 child cos they will not be so tired!!!
 
like u, i used to surf internet for any more signs of pregnancy that i'm not aware and each month i find myself becoming too sensitive to pre-AF signs. in fact, all my pre-AF signs are exactly similar to early preggy signs with exception of a BFP.

it didn't help that my cycle is really erratic...can be as bad as 3 months gap at times. in the past i feel my life comes to a standstill as i anticipate if there'll be a positive.

i "woke up" after a previous consultation with gynae. i told him i experienced slight cramping when AF overdue and he did a scan and mentioned he thought he saw something. so imagine how excited i was when he sent me for a preggy test. of coz...the result was disappointing.

so now i've stopped searching for signs of being preggy...sometimes "ignorance is bliss" coz it allows me to move on.

in fact come to think of it, each time after a consultation with gynae i am left feeling miserable coz he can't seem to "fix" me despite me having spent $ to see him. how nice if it is as easy as fixing flu with medication coz u recover after afew days.

dor, you will need to tell your friend that you do mind her "counselling" so she has to stop her persistence. her opinion is not important to your IVF decision.

i am open with my fertility issue to anyone who asked but sometimes their remarks can be hurtful or simply not needed. they may meant well but once we tell them we have an issue, they'll never fail to bring it up once in a while so it can be exhausting having to respond to them.

anyway, don't think too much and i do hope to see good news from u ladies.
 
Hi all, just to say, Thank you for all of your concerns. I am recovering fine. Once back to health, will join the train of ttc again.
happy.gif
 
Wen,
same as u.. i m open with my fertility issue too... n i agreed totally with u.. some passing remarks fm those ppl is really enough to "kill" me... i hv been feeling sad abt my F-issue for many years... so this yr, although i m still concern abt it but i hope i can release myself fm all these TTCs, disappointing issues...

i believe our decision for adoption can release me fm all these... i m not going to pin any hopes on getting pregnant bcos all these put me into stress, pressurise n deep depression.

i m not suggesting, supporting or encouraging u ladies to go for adoption like me.. decision on Adoption should be neutral... it is all up to u...
 
Toycollector/VQ/Wen, thanks!! u gals made me feel better.....

Toycollector, ya... i saw the oct MTB... if i strike that my EDD man!!!i was shouting " IT'S MY EDD MAN" when i read it.... i dont think this is my month cos have veri veri sore boo... lower back aching.... i once told my husband that my AF WILL NEVER LEAVE ME NOR FORESAKE ME!!!
my husband laughed.....
i think should be tomorrow...
all these years, i almost "DEAD" TO OTHER'S COMMENT /OPINION ABT me having another one.... but when u thought that that friend can be trusted with yr inner feeling, thi is how she treated .i told her on wed.... from that day onwards, i kept kenna from her... i know she meant well... we dont want to just rest....
imagine when i met her on thurs for supper(she went for bible study which i din go) she told me that pastor said to let go n enjoy the process....i felt terrible loh
sad.gif
even today still....i hope i will keep my cool....

i thanked god for this forum/thread where i can frely voiced my feeling where no one to ask me to do this/ that or trust....where what i feel n went thr dont seem like i am the one who is left out of the babydust....

toycollector, i told my husband abt your scan machine tingy.. he laughed....
cos today we are alone, i asked him what he plan to do... he asked me to make appt with Dr Loh to enquireabt IVF.... me now in a dilemma... but excited....will continue to update... but i know u gals will be with me/ for me....

THANKS!!!
i think i on the verge of crying.... it's ok one... after all, i went thr it for years...
 
hello gals,

thanks for all the sharings..it does help.. the waiting kills...i was thinking myself maybe i should stop taking clomid..the cramps is painful..

1st thing reached office is to check my undie cos felt a gush of fluid and felt very damp there was so relived to not see red..

on 1 hand wish it's not but on the other hand dun want to give myself too much hope cos i will be badly hurt if this is not the month,.... my only goal this week that it wil pass by faster..

findingmiki, very glad u are much better.. do share it with us if u need a listening ear..
that's what i am doing to keep my sanity..

dor,really hope that u will be p this month.. so tell us the gd news okie..

Have a blessed week ahead!! I noticed that there are more posting this week maybe all of us are anxious just like me!!
 
hi ladies,

just to share....8 weeks now since my D&C...no sign of AF neither am i preggie. Without AF, i am unable to move on, unable to start ttc...it is depressing.

Meanwhile, i am like u gals...trying to make sense out of all the signs and symptoms i have...i just wish AF can come soon for me...so that i can move on and get things back into perspective. i dont make long term plans anymore...my long term plan is tomorrow....trying to live a day at a time...dare not hope...least i get disappointed again.

dorothy, i fully understand how u feel. i too received alot of "counsellings" from church mates...appreciate their concern...but sometime we need time alone to sort out our emotions...no one will understand unless they have gone thru the same experience...only then they will know sometime silence, a good listening ear is all we need....
 
I am sad to say my af just came.. heart ache as well as bad cramps..we did every thing needed.. we bought ovulation kit and tried and it was positive and Y? y? y?... where are my hubby's soldiers????? i cant work now.. just feel like going to my gynae now..
 
toy collector *hugs* dont be sad..dont know what to say except to encourage you to try again in few days' time after AF clear up.
 
Hi All,

I'm new to tis thread. It's heartwarming to see so many people rallying around each other for support.

I've been TTCg for more than 1 yr without success. My gynae put me on clomid 2 months ago and I still do not have any goods news. I tried getting my hb to do a SA, but he said we managed to conceive naturally with my 3 yr old dgt, tat means his little soldiers still working. So he doesnt want to do SA. How do I convince him?

I really want another baby...
 
applemuffin, even when mens dont come, u also can try one. i got one friend after her D&C, she got preggie again within 3 mths....

Toycollector, * HUG*... dun be sad ok... although my AF not here yet but should be here anytime.... so now u seeing gynae?
 
Dor thanks thanks

yes... paid up for the blood test to do iui and another round of clomid...cost me $157.30/-..dr said ivf at least 10k but chances 25 percent..100 women go in and 75 disappointed... he said iui success rate is depending on my hubby soldiers..4 yrs ago his army was 3 percent ..i conceived a miracle... now the dr said even if 2 percent also must try iui if i want a kid... very sad...

i really want many kids many many.. it's just a desire..now i just want 1 more ...

so next due date will be oct.. hopefully i still can make it as a yr 2007 mtb... imagine i am on folic since aug 05.. how "po" can i be now.. and i am on clomid for so long at least 9 mths i think.. i lost track ..

and my ovulation date is 4th feb and it's sun.. dunno if they will do on 5th feb or not...
 
<font color="aa00aa">Ladies,</font>
my nipples r aching like hell.. i think AF reporting soon...

<font color="aa00aa">Toycollector,</font>
since AF come already, nvr mind.. stay very healthy, very happy n eat very well to prepare ur body for TTC n pregnancy...
 
Hi wynn, i will keep on trying .....

findingmiki hugz ... rest well ....

didnt kw clomid will put on weight ... die lah i so fat leh if put on weight again how
sad.gif
 
thanks dorothy...that's v encouraging. yr fren no af how to get preggie? thot no af means no ovulation? sorrie lotsa of questions cos i am quite worried abt my state and wish to find out more...

toy collector, how much does iui cost? how is it done?
 
just called them and was told that it ranges as if hubby sperm not enough , the lab will do another round of spinning..so price range is $236 to $300/- ( cash) in sgh..the price excludes my gynae and blood test of $157.70/-.. not sure if any more other charges..
 
actually we should have subsidy for this hor ..... why govt no say we can use our medisave for this ... since they encourage us to give birth sigh
 
jus got a good news from my frd saying that her wife is 6 weeks preggie .... so happy for them ... till now i still dun have
sad.gif
 
applemuffin, i think should have also... i think just like those mothers who bf they dont have mens but still managed to preggie...

toycollector, where u go? SGH?

so u going for IUI? but have u talk to hubby? cos i think both of u got to discuss. btw, u went for your lap already. to check for blockage... i supposed to go last year but ks so din go.... i think i got to call up for appt when i day 2 n to go after mens clear....i think IUI costs about 1.5K... u can used medisave for such treatments. 1st round - 6K, 2nd round-4K... but usually, for IUI, they will ask for not to claims....

i now still waiting for my aunty to come... i having aching in my thigh... do u gals have this too?

i scare also... needle.....
 
dorothy n toy collectors...thanks for info..think i will just bd whenever feel like it...af or no af...

dorothy, i also v scare of needles but during my 2nd preggie, i went thru series of injections and after mc, a series of tests...now quite immune to needles...will get used to it after a while..

IUI - how is the procedure done?
 
i was told iui must pay cash..i actually procasinated since last sept to do iui..kept telling myself i will try try try but just now dr said even if i have 100 eggs no sperm also cant so only iui can help to put soldiers in ( whatever they can get)..he said success rate is depending on how much soldiers... my hubby has agreed that this is last time last yr so i presume is a go ahead...but i thou just get the blood test form 1st but turns out must pay for the blood test even though do another day.

yes my groin or tigns are aching so badly that y i know my af coming..

but if i recall correctly if i took clomid n no cramps means i p. cos every time with clomid i have bad cramps cos i ovulate with clomid.. i am very sad cos right after i deliever i asked the dr if i need clomid again n he said most likley not maybe body will start to ovulate on it's own.. but turned out if i dun take clomid my af can come after 40 over days. that's y i wasted so much $$ on p kits.. i just lately bought the cheaper ones from the net last month..

but dor maybe u are pregnant? sice yours is so regular..
 
Toycollector, dun think so cos my thigh aching/ lower back aching.....my cycle usually 29 or 30 days. today day 30.. i think latest tomorrow should came
sad.gif


sob sob sob...

but KKH told me can used medisave for IUI but not worth it as medisave cap for 1st treatment is 6K... so if not successful then the next treatment capped is only 4K... so need to fork out more cash...

toycollector, did SGH tell u how much it cost....cos i thought of using my bonus to pay... hahaha... ppl use bonus for holiday but me
sad.gif
on such thing.
 
can i know if we are not ovulate means no cramp / no pain? correct me if i am wrong .... pls
 
the blood test plus consultation is 157.70/-... (sign dr didnt even do any examination..just say do iui- such costly words!)

he gave me a brochure. Basic Ovulation monitoring cost $161 or Parenteral Induction of Ovulation is $321 and IUI is $236 to 300... frankly i scared of needles but for the sake of a baby gal ( boy is also okie but gals preferred) i will be a brave ma ma

dr said i pass the blood test then they will contact me.. but he said chances of been p not hi usually need few rounds of iui..but i am praying that it will be my 1st and last round!! i am reading the iui thread...got so-iui but i am still so new to iui thing.


qing qing
i think most women has cramps when menses coming... but do u know i never have cos i dun ovulate if not on clomid... my af can be spotting.. so the only way i dun have cramps and soft stools is when i am p .. that's y on sat i already suspected af coming.
 
Pinkpigs...i took me around 2 years to convince hubby to go for SA test. same as yours, mine also said we already have one boy conceived naturally so there shouldn't be problems with his soldiers.

Just explain that by confirming that he has no problem, gynae can be more certain of methods of treatment.

I was told SO-IUI at KKH costs around $1.5k (everything inclusive) and you can choose to claim medisave but that will mean you used up your one of three times allowed to claim. Most docs will advise against claiming in case next you need IVF next time.
 
<font color="aa00aa">Ladies,</font>
let u know something which i was told by my chinese dr.

if u having menses, doesnt mean u r ovulating!!

if u r not having menses, doesnt mean u r NOT ovulating!!

so i think the problem go back to our body again!!
 
hi all, i have made my appt for my HSG x-ray... just pray that no blockage n also the doc in charge have no difficulties in it as dr loh ever mentioned that my womb a bit higher up...

toycollector, i told my husband your decision... i think i will go straight for IVF... but then again it not up to me to decide...
 
toycollector, my DH one 7% but we cannot conceive. Its still below the normal range of 14%. We also tik of IUI, going to gynae this Sat to check it out.
 
hi all
i don't have much info to share but i really must said that i enjoy reading this thread...cos so many mummies shared their knowledge and experience..
smile.gif
 
actually i was going to cry..another colleague just let the cat out she is p and due in july... this yr, 3 colleagues ( 1 has gave birth recently) and 2 more are giving birth.. and u know all told me ACCIDENT... all told me to relax relax...

i took folic since aug 05 who can beat that..

i still asking myself am i not trusting God to go iui am i taking things in my hands..what if i try another mth on clomid without iui maybe a miracle will happen..

last time i took clomid and a stauch christian in my previous workplace told me that i should not stumble others by taking fertility drug she strongly believed children is a gift so must just pray but gd thing my pastor told me God is the creator of medicine too so i am okie with it..but now iui is something i am a big bit uncomfortable even though my pastor said it's okie..

but i just feel is it lack of faith on me part..
ghee wonder anyone has such dilemna like me..i bk my appt to do iui in feb ( it seems so hasty) but i am really desperate for another child.....
 
Dor, i did HSG before..is the 1 which the dr put the fluid thru the tubes to see any blockage...many yrs back, the dr told me after doing that test might concieve faster cos they clear the muscus..

i actually asked the dr to examine me yesterday n see if need to do any more tests but he insisted that since i gave birth b4 it should not be a problem....i really hope so...

i tell u i even calculate my iui outcome will be on 18 feb ( CNY eve...) i tell myself i will rest my body after iui ..but the only comforting thing is if i really p, it will be oct baby... but i actually promised my son that his birthday present this yr is a mei mei... cos i calculated that i due on 27 sept if i successful.. sigh... last nite, my son even tell me that mei mei will sleep beside him in his play pen next time..he said he willnot try not to row onto meimei and flatten her..

now i have to tell my son that he has to wait maybe till christmas for his mei mei.
 
toycollector, what u went thr emotionally now is going on my mind. i have inputed earlier in the thread that i told my church friend that i want to go IVF but she asked to to just trust GOD. then i started questioning myself abt my trust.

but my hubby told me that GOD is the creator of all things including IUI n IVF...

so toycollector, when u started your treatment? me wish u all the best... my AF still not here yet... i have tested. negative... sad sad... so just have to wait... next tues go for HSG n after CNY go for gyane to discuss abt treatment.
 
toycollector &amp; dorothy, i have conceived twice but ended up in miscarriages. I am wondering if i should opt for iui or ivf...these thots are nagging me since the last D&amp;C. I too is desparate to have a bb. But gynea said since i can conceived twice naturally, that means i am quite fertile. no need for iui/ivf. but the desparate side of me is considering...advise me what i should do? since D&amp;C, my af hasnt come yet...its been two months and it is worrying...without af...how to conceive???

i personally believe God created us with intelligence and sound minds to make decisions at all times...hence if an iui or ivf is required, then we should use the mind given to us by God to make good decisions on whether to go or not to go. I am not saying prayers arent good enough...they work miracles but sometimes we need to use our minds too to make decisions...i am sure the Lord will bless yr decision...
happy.gif
 
toy collector, i constantly have an inner struggle regarding IUI/IVF...on one hand i want to try it but on the other i feel i shouldn't take things in my own hands.

most of the time i tell myself that if it's God's will then i will have another child no matter what method. but if it's not, even if i go through all the available procedures, i will still fail.

for now, i'm not going to do anything...just give myself some peace regarding the matter.
 
thanks for all your replies.. i do feel better after reading

it's a tough decision..i m doing a scan on 2th feb then can decide which day to do the iui..they will check how big the follicle...i still not done the blood test cos i told the nurse can do later cos i still losing blood so dun want to lose more..but also i very scared of needles.

qing qing, i think some women has menses but no cramps too n they are ovulating... so best to check with dr they will do a blood test ..


Dor so cute to see u at oct mtb..i really wish it is for u..cos my due date back in 03 was also 1st oct
 
dor, my gyne also recommend me to do HSG but I haven't make appt yet. Must it be at a certain time of the cycle?
 
toycollector, u made me paisay again...

cos i am curious how come someone can be so sure.... i was a oct mtb 7 years ago... hoefully 2007 oct is my year again...

AF is a veri funny tingy... my AF supposed to come on sun/mon or latest today... still have not reported.... i tested liao no news leh....

i guess i just have to wait loh...
 
hi azuma, according to what i know...based on KKH. u are supposed to call to book appt when u r in yr day1 or day 2, the HSG will be done from day 8 to day 12... but also subject to when yr mens clear...

gals, correct me if i am wrong
 
hi wen, same sentiments..not to mention iui/ivf cost so much...i cant afford it. meanwhile just console myself to let nature takes it course...if have, have, dont have, just live life happily still...

anyone know if it is a big concern not to have AF? mine delayed for 2 months now...anyone with same experience to share?

kylene, what's HSG?
 
dor , maybe your AF really lost it way this time.. so hope to hear your gd news!

applemuffin , i also feel the pinch cos having a child is not cheap then now even must pay so much to be p..is a BIG decision for me..but i really like to have another one...
 
hi ladies

I notice that there are lot of you considering differing procedures. Before you spend your money on them, I just want you to be very sure that you've exhausted other less costly methods such as the Billings Method (see: http://www.doctoryourself.com/fertility.html or call aLife at 62588816 to learn it for free) or Crieghton Method (see: http://www.fertilitycarecentre.co.uk/ but can be learnt in S'pore,call Hui Clinic, tel: 64588596) which basically helps you ascertain your EXACT TIME OF OVULATION or whether you ARE ovulating OR NOT, yes, even if you have PCOS, intermittent period, no period, low hormones, etc. These method help to sniff out problems through symptoms &amp; timing of these symptoms.

I've been tracking myself via the Creighton Method &amp; I know when I ovulate and when I don't so I am fully aware of my cycle so when I'm not ovulating, I can then expect that I'm not pregnant when my period comes, therefore, disappointment is not as grave as when I had no clue about my cycle. Also, ladies, you MUST take control of your cycle &amp; know it as well as you can because your gynae sees you once in a while and if you are armed with the info about your cycle, you'll be able to help him decide which method of treatment would be best for you. Otherwise, you're at the mercy of your doc who can only approximate when you may ovulate or worse still, use the theoretical ovulation date (14 days after period) to fix the date. I've been tracking for the past 3 yrs and trust me, my ovulation can vary from day 11 - day 16! If you're planning an IUI or SO-IUI, knowing exactly if you're ovulating &amp; then going for it on that day would definitely increase your chance of pregnancy, won't it? Will definitely save you a lot more $$, too! : )

I think there is nothing more impt than knowing your cycle and be in 'partnership' with your gynae in working out which is the best treatment for you.

Take heart, ladies! Take care of yourselves!

Soulutions
 
applemuffin,
HSG is hysterosalphingography (?spelling). the dr will inject a dye up the vagina and x-rays are taken, to check if the fallopian tubes are patent. cos even if ovulate, if tubes are blocked, then no point.

dor,
but isn't xray bad for the eggs?
 
hey soulutions, thanks for providing the sites...they are very informative. did you learn Creighton Method from Hui Clinic? I wonder what is the cost.

I've read about tracking ovulation through monitoring mucus condition. However I hardly see stretchy mucus...even when on clomid...so I find it abit difficult to track.
 


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