Tiara's Birth Story...This includes my own thoughts, fears and experience in the whole episode.
Something happened.Hind water bag burst with a distinct 'pop!' sound as I was turning in bed changing my position in the morning of 8 Feb, around 11am.(There's Hind and Front Waterbags.The common one with a big gush of water is the front water bag.)I was waiting for more signs to make sure i'm right about the water bag bursting.I laid down for 20 mins and then stood up anticipating big gush of water, thinking it could be baby's head engaged and blocked the waers from flowing out, as mentioned widely in internet articles on water bag bursting.But little was mentioned about hind waterbag bursting unless you specifically search for it.But how was I to knoe since I was a first-timer?I then realised that Hind water bag burst will only manifest in the form of water discharge very much later, after nothing else happened.In fact it was only later in the day, when I was convinced i had to get it checked out by the gynae that through ultrasound, it was confirmed my water levels had dipped as there was a leak of amniotic fluid.So I'm right.
Ok.back to the timeline. After the 'pop!' sound, I waited a long time to see if there were other signs like bloody show(or discharge) or consistent contractions lasting for a minute on intervals of 10 mins or so. However, I had none of these, or at least, I din really notice or feel contractions or cramps, maybe because I was numb or my pain threshold had been stretched as in the past few days following the day, I had them coming and had tried very intense ones in a night few days before that those on the day felt like nothing to cry about.
I was praying nothing had happened and I was imagining things as I had badly hoped for her to arrive during CNY, which is just 5 days later to the eve of CNY!(About 2 days ago before D-day, about 4am, I woke up with very intense Braxton Hicks and strong baby kicks that felt like it's the real thing.I woke papa up too, in case it's the real thing.Sitting in the hall to rest a little and think if I shud get admitted, and not sure if it was the real thing, I talked to tiara and told her it's not time yet and to wait patiently for another week.I think I manage to take deep breaths to relax myself and coax her to relax with me and the contractions and pain gradually disappeared and we went back to bed.Actually my gynae had pre-empted me that it might be as soon as i leave his office, I would be due as i was already 1.5cm dilated.But nothing significant happened on that day as I was psychoing baby to come out during CNY and being very careful myself not to trigger labour until bad contractions 2 days later.)So, I was in denial that it had happened.
Truting my instincts.I t6ried to convince myself nothing was really happening but I felt great unease deep in my heart. I just knew something had happened. I called papa at about 1pm and told him about it and that he might have to come home.i called mom and she told me to get admitted rightaway.But I was disappointed as I had tahan until 5 days before CNY. In fact, she was supposed to be a mid-CNY baby, due on 5-6 day of CNY, 19 Feb!Sad.I was in denial and was kind of blaming her for not waiting.Bad right?But I had my own reasons.After 2 months of not sleeping well with a huge bump being in the way of comfortable positions and feeling lethargic all the time and having problems walking from the heavy weight of the bump and swollen elephant legs, can you imagine how much I look forward to the end of it and holding my lil precious in my arms?Who cares about the glamour of having my baby born during CNY?It's not that.it's a genuine concern and fear for how being born in the year of Tiger would affect her for life and trying to cut loss.It's her mummy wanting a good start for her life. I have worked with bosses and rich influential people who are very superstitious.in the Chinese culture, of all the animals in the Zodiac, Tiger is the worse, especially if it's a girl.I wanted her to not be born disadvantaged in any aspect,especially not because of her birthtime. I wanted everything to go well for her in the life and being prejudiced against in any way just because she's born a Tiger is what I would not want her to suffer.The only way around it was for her to born during CNy. in any case, CNY is a good time for Chinese.It cancels out anything bad and everything becomes lucky, 大吉大利。but Man proposes, god disposes. But it is not something I can control.
Now, I learn to not depend on myself but entrust her into God's hands. I trust that what God brings her to, He will bring her through.This is my real believe-In Christ Jesus.but somehow, not everyone is a christian, and I just hope she will be given a fair chance in everything in life and not be affected by other people's superstitions. We can ignore, but we cannot deny we will be affected. especially if these people become our superiors.I know of people who reject their son's girlfriends just because she's born in the year of Tiger, or some animals.on auspicious days or ceremonies, some animals are also told to stay away for fear of bringing bad luck to the event.See?Sounds familiar?
Anyway, After calling mom and papa, I called the doctor finally at 3 plus.i knew he would ask me to go in and have a check and I was already in my 38th week, baby's 2.9 at the check few days ago and birth was eminent anytime.At about 4.30pm, papa arrived home. And we were soon on our way to Dr Lawrence Ang's office,
[email protected] we arrived, I did not wait long for my turn to be checked.Ultrasound showed that water levels dipped and he confirmed that my waters had leaked.He got me strapped on an ECG machine to monitor baby's heartbeat for half an hour.He told me to admit into Mt A by 6pm and sent me off to pack my stuff.
Can't believe things are happening now.We went back to Causeway Point,had some pizza at Pizza Hut, did some walking around and shopping as there was only very little contractions. Wendy had also mentioned that even if I check in early, I would only be lying in bed waiting for things to happen.I did not want medical intervention as much as possible and I know if things did not happen, that would be the case. Of cause, I was fearful, increasingly fearful.But remarkably, I was very calm for a first-timer throughout.I took my own time and stayed relaxed.After walking around, nothing happened and I decided to go home and watch the Quan Yifeng and Christopher Lee's 心晴大动员.
It is really happening, STARTING FROM NOW. At about 9 plus, Dr Ang called, said he's at the hospital and asked which ward was I in. I then told him I'm still at home as nothing happened, asked if I can admit into hospital the next day, he said no.For the safety of the child, to prevent infection, baby has got to be out within 24 hours. he told me to check in immediately. So, off we went in a cab to Mt A, reached at about 10.15pm.Spend sometime at the reception area, couldn't decide if I want to stay in a Single bedded, a two bedded or a 4 bedded ward.Doctor also advised me to stay in a 4 bedded as it is only for a few hours, then once the contractions become regular and intensify or there're other signs of labour like show or water bag burst,I would be transferred into Delivery suite.The charges vary quite alot, that's why he advised me against taking delivery suite immediately upon admitting because we have no idea when would things start happening, it may not be anytime soon, while the cost would escalate with time.This is what i like about Dr Ang.he helps his patients save money by giving them good advice.I then finally decided on a 4 bedded ward and got admitted at 11pm.True enough, after waiting for awhile, being strapped on the ECG, the contractions intensified and the intervals became closer together and I was then transferred to the delivery suite after about 2 hours. In the Delivery Suite, I was again strapped onto the ECG machine to monitor baby's heartbeat and contractions. Nurses inform me that the doctor will be in at 7.30am. But for the next 6-7 hours, other than contractions, nothing significant happened and there was no further dilation, still just 1.5cm.At 8am, Dr Ang arrived.When he saw that nothing much happened, he told me that we are getting close to the end of the 24 hours window period and chances of infection will increase thereafter so he decides that we've got no choice but to induce. It was a torture for me. Everything I was fearful of and didn't wanted to happen came to past within a short span of a few hours, until the birth of Tiara. The water bag was burst with the long thing with a hooked end.There was pain with the gushing out of the waters.And who said it was not painful??Liar!There, he ran pitocin to speed the dilation, so there was IV drip needles poked into my poor wrist.Ouch!Before that, there was Fleet pumped into my system to remove waste so baby will not fly out and fall flat face down in faeces at the beautiful birth moment.once it is pumped in, within minutes, everything came uncontrollably out clean.It's like..super bad diarrhoea.Disgusting.Makes you feel weak too.imagine...diarrhoea til the legs become wobbly...just before giving birth...?!
Dilation & Pain Relief.In four hours,I was fully dilated.the pain of dilation started manageable, then you notice the pain escalates over time,until you really feel like climbing up walls at the end of the second hour.Initially, I rejected Gas and Air, but at 7cm dilatreda end of the 3rd hour, the nurses insisted, saying that if i stay stubborn and refuse any pain relief method, i may end up having a C-sect if i deplete all my energy trying to cope with the pain.I am more afraid of C-sect and it sounded logical.So i took.Form then, i hugged onto gas and air and keep sucking it in. i then realised why it's one of the methods of pain relief provided for delivery.it's effective when you're full of it. Keep sucking and you feel as light as floating on air and the pain's gone.But the gas and air gets depleted once you stop sucking, and the pain sensation will come back almost like you've never used it.i sucked on it and kept myself between semiconcious and totally numb until birth is over.It's somewhat effective, but i guess it's bad..?cos i dun feel good staying in numb state.
The doctor. Doctor's job is only to be there when you're fully dilated to snip you down there, get you to push right and receive the baby.Actually, cut the long story short, it's only to receive the baby.In Singapore, all babies have to be delivered by a doctor.That's actually what you are paying so much for.They are responsible for wellbeing of the baby and mummy during the delivery. he came at 8am in the morning, burst my waterbag and ran pitocin then left. When I was 8cm dilated after slightly more than 3 hours, the nurses called the doctor and he arrived just as i was fully dilated and ordered me to push when the next bout of contraction comes and with a 'snip!', baby flew out right into his arms!papa was right beside.He was asked to cut the umblical cord.papa told me that tiara had 3 rounds of umblical cord round her neck and Dr Ang was very skillful and quick, unwinding the cord off her neck as she flew out.Before she flew out I felt a sting in an instant and total relief after that.In fact, the relief was so obvious that I felt relaxed immediately.I did not feel anything after that.That's why getting a good doctor is so important.I think he's a good gynae too.After baby's born, the nurses put her on my chest as I delivered the placenta and was stitched up. I din feel the stitches at all, which is my greatest fear which kept me awake in my late preggy days, maybe because the worst was over and I was numb from the trauma or I was given an LA to reduce further trauma.I was so tired that for the rest of the day, I could hardly open my eyes.Yes, even when friends and family visited me, I only managed to greet them with half opened eyes.I only felt better the second day.Hence, the nurses did not have me nurse Tiara immediately following her birth as I was unstable.
Hubby. He was ecstatic, I think. So much that he forgot he had an important thing to do, to take photos of the memorable event for keepsake!Haiz. Almost every mummy had the pictures taken but me, Thanks to papa.Grr!It's once in a lifetime and unique to every child okay?! Even if one may not feel comfortable to share the pictures with others, they're mainly for your own keepsake!Not everything is for sharing.It's a big event in a woman's lifetime ma.Haiz.. so Sad.The irony is, the camera has always been in his pocket!And I've reminded him a thousand times before things happened.I was just too worn out to get him to do it at the crucial moment!haiz...and hubbies, do not leave your wife at all throughout labour until delivery is over.Hubby left me to get some coffee after being with me in the hospital for more than 8 hours. I could understand he needed the coffee to perk him up for the real act later. It was 11 plus in the morning, he had to sleep in the chair beside my bed the whole night and it was uncomfortable so he didn't rest well and was very tired.But it was untimely as it was after the waterbag was burst artificially and pitocin was ran in me that kick start the labor and sped up everything until delivery of the placenta, all in 4 hours.I know he didn't know that I was that close to delivery, and he had left the room while I was finally having some sleep as contractions in the earlier hours, since being transferred to the delivery ward from the observation ward, were strong enough to keep me awake, albeit nothing else happened, no dilation or waterbag burst or show.I was rudely awaken by the sudden increase in contraction pain and a strong urge to push that I realised papa was not in the room. I panicked and reached for the call to call the nurse but it dropped as I touched it.I was in total distress now.I shouted out calling the nurses and no one came.After what seem like eternity, papa and the nurses came into the room at the same time.The nurses checked and I was 8cm dilated, and they called the doctor.This part of being totally alone in the room when things started happening left a great deal of phobia and trauma in me of the birth experience. This is what they call 叫天天不应叫地地不灵.I was so afraid no one will be there when the baby's really coming out.What if there're complications?Tremendous pain + Worries and fear = Phobia!Perhaps some hubby cannot be birthing instructors or efficient helpers, but they can contribute to a better birthing experience for mummies, and definitely their presence support and loving acts, sayang mummies and reminding them to breathe are more effective than anyone or anything else that help mummies alot during this time of need.So, you dunno when things will happen.Safety is the best policy, bring everything you may need, especially food and drinks to fill the stomach, coffee or tea to perk yourself up, jacket in case the room is too cold or when you feel cold usually due to lack of sleep.something to keep you occupied like reading materials or lappy as you wun know how long will the wait til the final moment last.Camera for the moment AND REMEMBER TO USE IT.Take the birth time reflected on the clock in the room, the bed number, mummy on the bed in the delivery room, first moment of baby's birth,first moment of baby on mummy's chest nurses or doctor carrying the newborn and so on.. It's once in a lifetime, unique to mummy's every birth experience and individual baby and no replays!Soon after baby's born, he's carried away to be weighed, washed up, checked and later, put into the warmer to stabilize her temperature.
Tiara first appearance. Tiara's born a very nice bright pink skin with very round big eyes.All the nurses commented that she had very big eyes.She had alot of shiny ebony hair and were quite long at the back.Before I had my deep sleep almost right after her birth, like any mummy would, I scrutinized her all over with hald opened eyes for 10 fingers(couldn't reach her toes as she was laid flat on my chest) and she had eyes, nose, ear and mouth and see that everything was normal before I was relaxed and feel asleep.I woke up about 6 hours later.
Worry about everything.I even worried about what time she would be born as some people say she's a cow because babies born during or after CNY would then be considered Tiger.If that's the case, they say cow babies had better not be born in the morning as they would have to slog all their lives.So i was eager for her to be born during midnight. But as the hours passed from 12 to 5am, nothing happened and I was getting increasingly anxious as it would be dawn soon. it would be good either before dawn or afer dusk as the farming hours are over and cows can go back to sleep.But, baby have to be out latest around noon as that would be the end of the window period before chances of infection increase tremendously and doctor's determined to have her out before then. Luckily she's out at lunchtime.haha.. so since farmer have to eat, cows have a break too right?haha.. That made me feel better.Anyway, good start at birth is important to me.The rest is up to her own doing.As far as I can, I will strive to bring her up to be a positive person with good values and personality.
I only understood what my mum went through for me when I became a mum myself.It was a painful but empowering experience for me.I always tell papa, in the past, I enjoyed good health and had no reason to be put on a drip or be cut up or stitched and be in pain all the time.I went through everything I was most afraid of all in 1 event on a day.But I think it's worth everything I went through, everytime I look at my chubby cute little Tiara playing with her daddy.But ask if i will want another one?My first reply would be a 'NO!' without thinking.But well, that seems to be a formulated reply for all first time mummies, as what others would say to me.But think about it, my fear of going through everything again is there, especially of the first 10 days of my confinement as the pain of the stitches were so bad that I could hardly change position from sit to stand or lie down and vice versa, or simply move my butt.it was a torture for me. i can deal with pain, from cramps or contractions but not with open wounds like stitches or surgery.
Natural birth without epidural.I have no regrets going this way, albeit the pain i went through. But that's the real deal, isn't it? I think that made me love Tiara even more, because she didnt come easily.no matter how much she fussed and tested my patience now, it just moulded me to be a better person and stretched my limits more. Even if I were to go for another one, i would opt for the same natural birth without epidural, even though friends who had epidural shared that they had an enjoyable experience watching Tv while pushing their babies out.it sounded much more fun and relaxing but well, not trying to be gung ho or wad, I just think it's better for babies to be born with as little medical intervention as possible.I had insisted on that from the begining.Dr Ang had only intervened when nothing was happening after the 8 hours wait that had no further progress since i admitted into hospital. I had also not wanted episiotomy, but i guess, the doctor deemed it necessary cos he knew better when things happened and he was responsible for the safety of me and baby so I dun blame him.In fact,i was grateful he took such a short time to get baby out as her life would be endangered if she was born slowly as the umblical cord would have tightened around her neck and strangled her, and not slip off as he unwind it and she flew out.All in all, it taught me that birth plans and preferences can be communicated to the doctor and the rest is up to their discretion based on actual event to decide which could be complied to.No matter what unpleasant thing has happened, like going being induced and had episiotomy,as long as it is not too way beyond what you can accept, give benefit of doubt that all's done in the interest of the mother and baby to make your experience a better one.After all, everything done and over with.