(2013) ivf/icsi mummies Support group

Lil, haha yes my hubby n I came up with a list of things to put in the diaper bag - list is super long! How long do you carry bb before you put him down? My bb also cried when we put him down, until I read that he should be carried for 20mins until he falls into deep sleep first.
 


znatasha, I've been bringing bb for outings since 1 month. So far no issues until today when he developed a fever. Went to a bday party on Sun and to Marina Square yesterday, so probably caught a bug
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Koirc, im interested in the survey too.
Maybe you can sing and read to baby to get bb attention. Actualli you are very observant... good job mummy.

Znatasha, i brought bb out even before he had his jab. Dun go to too crowded places and avoid pple who cough or sneeze. Shld be ok.
 
znatasha I also bring bb out aft first month cos my in law said must bring bb out so that bb wont be scared of crowd.

lil I would put ebm in fridge to go bag n then either bring thermos flask out or ask for hot water outside but normally I will latch bb.

my hb always threw away my expired ebm aft 72hrs n I always feel v heart pain but he always said its free lor. haiz. now I m numb over it liao cos all my frozen milks are expiring soon bah. n I had no intention to use it too sin I m still producing now.
 
lil as for nipples confusion, a lactation consultant told me before that if nipples look like bottle teats, then bb wont be confused. I dont know how true it is.
I only intro bottle to my bb when she is 6weeks old n only one bottle per day.
 
For spilled milk, I don't even remember the no of time I spill my milk. Everytime I spill my heart is so painful. Sigh.. Everytime I tell myself has to be careful but still accident happened..

Lil, my boys are also the same. Need people to carry to sleep. I tried cry it out method on one of them this morning but after 5 mins my heart was so painful to see him screamed non stop n carried him in the end.. So, mummies, do share how can we put our baby to sleep without them crying.. Thank you.
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Hi Sade, thanks. The unfortunate thing, which I awfully regret, is to introduce bottle after we came back from hospital, which was Day 6. The bottle was for night feed. This is way too early because his breastfeeding has not been established. Kudos to you for latching exclusively until 6 weeks. My only consolation is if we have a No. 2, I really want to get it right the second time. Meanwhile, I will just need to bond with this baby in other ways. No one to blame but myself.

Thanks, Hope, once I start to introduce fm, will definitely keep your tip in mind about buying a small tin
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Bb, we hold and carry as long as it took for him to fall asleep, which I admit is more than 20mins. Starting yesterday, we have been retraining him slowly. Keep putting him down. Hopefully can break this habit and he will sleep like he used to after every feed. It is really so poor thing to see him so tired yet cannot sleep soundly. Every day I try to find a little victory to celebrate. For example, he is sleeping as I'm typing this, so I'm really happy
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He he.
 
Min, babysmurf, hope and reikibaby, can pm me your contact numbers? I'll get her to call you. She will ask some qualifying questions.

BB back to not wanting to drink again!
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my girl used to be like that too, n my hb been carrying her to sleep, n once asleep, he will try to put bb down on her playpen and she will cry. guess mos bb r like that.
then I asked my hb to try to carry bb to sleep n put her down when she is not fully asleep yet so that she can learnt to sleep by her own. n its works aft few nights. n also I did turn on lullaby for her n ever sin week 8 or so, she had been sleeping by herself like an adult.
only occasionally she wants us to carry her to sleep.
maybe u all might wan to try it.

lil sin u also hv enough bm, do continue to bf for as long as u r ok. hmmm, maybe u try to latch him again slowly n he might accept it again. I m worried abt nipples confusion hence I only start intro bottle at week 6.
 
Lil, my boy was on bottle when he was in hospital, then when back home, i always express out and btl feed him. Only when his jaundice improved then i start latching him. So dun blame yourself. Some babies just have their preference. My boy even though bottle feed him at earli mths, he still prefers latching to bottle.

Koirc, ok.
 
Lil, don't blame yourself! Motherhood is filled with trial n error n like you said, there are lots of ways to bond with bb. My hubby kept reminding me parenting is so much more than bf..

Hurray for small victories! I find that my bb sleeping habits n pattern keep changing as the weeks go by, so most times I just end up going with the flow. One thing I realized is that bb can only sleep if he's carried upright on my shoulder, maybe if you try different positions it might help? I found this link online on sleep training, not sure if you've seen it, I found it quite useful http://community.babycenter.com/post/a14978055/useful_sleep_info_here_-_read_this_first.
 
Hi working mums, how do you manage work and care for BB. My part time job ask me back for a few days a week. Hmm I'm not sure if i can handle. Housework, work and BB wow...

I finally brought my girl out for 1hr to do grocery shopping. She seems excited and a bit scare cos she clutch her hands tightly and lie rather still and stiff in stroller. Haha think must bring her out more. But it's a big job to bring BB out. Hot and cold water, milk powder, extra clothing. diapers, tissue etc...
 
Sade, my boy screams and arch his head and body back when I try to get him to latch. I think it's because he is hungry and milk doesn't flow as fast when latching compared to bottle. Also his latching technique has gone downhill so he is so frustrated everytime we try. I may just it another shot before totally calling it quits. Thank you for the encouragement!

Thanks, Reiki and Bb for the assurance
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Ya, motherhood comes with all kinds of challenges. I don't think I've ever been this worried about so many things in my life. Is he sleeping/pooing/peeing enough? too much? too little? is his nose stuffy? the list goes on! Lol! When growing up, I used to tell my mum to stop worrying about me and she would say, "wait till you become a mother". Well the day has come and guess what? She is right. There seems to be endless worries! The funny thing is that it doesn't seem to affect DH as much as me. My DH told me, baby needs to ween off the boobs and feed from bottle sooner or later anyway. Sigh.

BB, you and DH are so right. Being a good parent is so much more than breastfeeding. My CL told me that baby's sleep pattern will keep changing until he settles down at 3 months. So that is a consolation for me that his sleepless pattern won't lasts forever. He actually sleeps very well in whatever position when carried. Somehow he just knows when we put him down.

Thanks for the link. I've never seen it. I quickly browsed through it just now and it looks extremely informative and helpful. This could be my lifesaver if not now but when he's 3 months!!
 
znatasha, congratulations on your first outing!! We are planning our first outing this coming weekend. Maybe just a stroll around the block.

Maybe you really need a maid to help with housework. Last time you sent yours back because she can't help with baby but maybe can find another one whose main responsibility is household chores and only give you a hand with baby if needed. This way, you don't need to worry about housework at all.
 
Lil, my boys are bottle fed since day 1 at hospital.. And we continue for the night feed when they are back. So far so good. Except these few days one of my boys cry alot when I gave him my breast.. I suspect he doesn't like latching already. But I still insisted to latch him and keep trying.. So far there's improvement. He cries less now.. So keep latching your boy. He will go back to latching one day! Jiayou!
 
Lil, hugs, I understand your latching and milkflow problems, I had similar experiences. I was on the verge of giving up nursing so many times, but blogs and websites on the internet kept saying that most bf issues will iron themselves out by 8 weeks and to give yourself and bb a little more time to iron out the kinks. You know what, it turned out to be true for me, except that mine took 10 weeks! Just wanted to send a little bit of encouragement your way and to say if you enjoy nursing, it may not have to end just yet
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I learned a little trick from my mil to get bb to sleep after putting him down, she lays him on his side, holds his hands together (to stop them from flailing around) and pats his thighs. Seems to work most of the time!
 
znatasha, congrats on first outing! Ya, there are SOO many things to bring along. Wow, are you are planning to work, do housework and care for bb on your own? I have a good helper and work part-time and still find it a struggle. Without the helper I won't be able to cope.
 
lil u reminded me of those days when my bb was this way too, screaming n arching when latched on. but I still continue to nurse her. yes its v stressful to hear bb screams n cries when nursing. I guess she felt wind in her tummy hence she reacted this way. maybe ur boy too. I will calm her down before nursing again n its always happened during night feed. I worried that she might be colicky then n rubbed ruyi oil on her tummy. aft few stressful nights of latching then she is back to normal.
 
Thanks Lil, bb and Usagi in the tips of using a warm compress. I will try later , like the heated milk bottle to roll on breasts idea. Warm shower means milk dripping from boobs after getting out which is quite a mess.
 
Dian Tang, I use the pigeon milk store bag. I like how it lays flat to freeze and doesn't take up a lot of space. But it is slightly tricker to push the air out before ziplocking it. Overall, I'm happy with it. Once I freeze 1 week's worth, I put them in another ziplock bag (like double bag) to prevent any food smell from going in. Then I label the outer ziplock bag as Week 1, 2, 3...etc so that it is easier to organise and to find the earliest date to use first.

Bb, Saralyn and Sade, thanks again for the jia you
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Okay, will try again tomorrow! I must do it calmly otherwise baby will sense my anxiety too! Sade, it is really amazing you could bf day and night for 6 weeks. How did you find time to rest? Did you have CL?
 
Lil I dont hv CL as i gave birth before cny, n CL costs $3k plus. my hb cooked for me while I looked aft bb n my mum helped with the laundry. no CL means more hand ons but luckily I have a supportive hb. he has been a great help even till now.
felt stress then I m the only one feeding aka nursing her. cos everytime is so new then. n newborn normally poos alot. so been nursing, burping, changing her diapers n then nursing again. been a panda for few months liao. still din hv more than 6hrs of sleep even till now cos need to pump milk.
I did tried to sleep when bb slept during confinement. n my record of nursing her was 14times in a day. super tiring.
but now looking at my 5month old bb girl, it was definitely worth it. times really pass by v fast with a bb now. gotta to treasure baby time now thats what my sil told me.
Yes bb can feel it so u must remain calm.
you had been doing v well too, total bm too! have to be happy abt it too. Jia you!
 
Lil Ponyo : thanks for the tips on the storage of bm.
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For latching it take some practice for the bb to learn how to. I guess u may keep trying . It is amazing that bb can catch the nipple themselves dur latching . I also using bottle from day 1 and also latching sometimes . U jia you !
 
Hi ladies

It has been a nightmare to me. My CL was late for 4 days and I've to handle e baby myself. Ive Hemorrhoid during pregnancy and after giving birth, it worsen. together with e stitches and wound, it gets very pain and I'm unable to walk, sit and stand.

My mum came and help but she was unable to help much and my maid doesn't know or can't be trusted. The first day I brought my girl home, she carried and rocked very hard, if I didn't stop her on time, my baby would hv brain damaged.

Maid has been showing attitude and doesn't admit mistake. She is here barely less than 3 months and I'm contemplating whether to change her as I know I really can't rely on her to look after the baby,

My mum is very patient but she is old and cannot handle the baby herself.

Then my baby developed Jaundice and we hv to rent the phototherapy at home. She gets very impatient and tends to cry alot when keep in the light box.

Finally my CL arrives today and decided to let baby hv my breast milk in bottle during the night, I woke up just an hour again hoping to feed the bottle. However bb has rejected to latch on and prefer bottle. What shld I do? After such a long time insisting not to use bottle, I couldn't believe I told my CL to use bottle and now baby is not willing to latch on. Bb is not cooperative and refused to be in the light box too. My CL also didn't put her in.

What shld I do??
 
Alison, hugx..most imptly now is that you must recover well. Its a long journey and full of hiccups, trial and error with baby. But you have to get your body well and ready 1st.

Bm probably dun flow as fast when latched compared to bottle and baby could be hungry. How much are you feeding. Try increase the amount and latch before baby crys for milk. Cos when they starts to cry mean very hungry and at that young age they want milk means immediate milk into mouth. But if at the end of the day baby still prefers bottle then dun stress urself. Breast or bottle, ultimately its the bm tat matters.

With jaundice, bb tends to be cranky abit. Also they shld be sleeping most of the time. Probably not filling from feed so adds on to bb crankiness. Are you giving fm? If bm yet to establish, then gv fm. Alternate the feed with bm and fm. when bb is full they will sleep better and poos better which will improve jaundice level.
now bb shld wake for milk and sleeps after feeding. That time for my boy, once fed, we will place him in the light box. He did fuss abit then we gv him pacifier. Dun hesitate to give. Eventualli they will wean off themselves. But at least w pacifier, it pacifies the bb and allows them to sleep and coorperate.

Dun add stress to yourself. Stressful mummy = stress up baby. So if you are cool n zen, baby feels it and will calm down and coorperate. Jiayou!
 
Koirc, will PM you my number. Thx! Hmm, what happened? How much is baby drinking now?

Znatasha, I like bringing bb out myself coz the day passes do fast haha. But I do agree gotta bring lots of things haha.

Dian tang, I'm using lasinoh storage bag. My menses came already and gynae said it just means that my baby refuses to suppress the ovulation even though I'm pumping full time. So means I'm fertile better take some precaution haha!

Reiki you up pumping ah? I just fed bb and pumping now haha.
 
Hope, up latching baby. Now i pump once a day or no pump. Fully latch. My mum asked me to latch less cos bb seems to be 'addicted' to my boobs. Lol

Dr loh said those words? Sound like baby wants a sibling so din wanf to suppress ovulation. Lolz. My menses finalli came this mth. Got a feel nxt mth will cm too....

I started dreamfeeding 2days ago..end up my boy decides to wake and waif for that dreamfeed time to be his last feed. Faintz. Im thinking of getting a bumbo seat for my boy. Then be easier for me to play and read to him....
 
Reiki baby, thanks for your advice. Currently the baby is on bm. I didn't give any fm as I do express out bm and keep them in e fridge.

I will tell e CL that I want my bb to latch on and stop bottle feed, see how it goes.
 
lil oh yes if bb cries while nursing then carry bb upright with his head on shoulder n pat on his back. it can calm bb down esp when bb is a bit colicky.
n also I like to share this method to help to calm bb down.
http://www.happiestbaby.com/the-five-s-way-to-calm-a-fussy-baby/

psp guess it v painful sin u had natural birth but recovery is much faster. endure few more days n u will be ok. maybe u should take some painkillers if doc prescribed u. u had been doing great sin ur milk supply is in. if full latching during confinement, its really tiring. jia you on bf! have u started on massage?
 
Dear Sade, that's amazing looking after baby on your own and bless your DH for being so supportive. Your mum stays with you too? Who is looking after baby now that you are back at work?

There was 1 week (week 3) where I had no CL because she has to go home for something. That week I was a wretch. There was one day when it's already 12noon and I was still in my pajamas, have not brush my teeth, no breakfast, bottles and diapers everywhere and still trying to get baby to sleep. Thank goodness at that moment my aunt came and took over so that I can pee. LOL!

Thanks, yes we are already trying to practice Dr Harvey Karp's method. Don't know if we are doing it right but the baby's calmness is not sustainable. Once we jiggle and shush, baby will quiet down but within moments, he is screaming again!

Yes, I try not to be too critical of myself and find things to be proud of. Thank you
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Jia you mummies, motherhood is really not easy but worth it!

PSP, hugs, you are doing great mummy! You have already survived 4 days on your own! Now that your CL is here, let her take over and you focus on recovering first. Just be clear with your CL what you want, i.e. what time baby needs phototherapy session and to bring baby to you to latch when it is feeding time. As for your maid, tell her to just focus on household chores. No need to look after baby for now as CL is here. When my son had jaundice and had to stay extra day in hospital for phototherapy, the doctor said, baby can get thirsty very fast so need to feed every 2 hrs (counted from beginning of each feed) so it's 1pm, 3pm, 5pm, etc. 12 times in 24 hours. As for latching, don't worry, your baby is still very young so continue to latch and you will be fine. Jia you and speedy recovery and stay zen!

Thanks, Dian Tang, how are you doing? Time really flies doesn't it? Yes, will continue to try to latch but won't stress about it anymore. Whatever it is, it shall be
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Hope: I dun know if my menses has came . I have some red and brown colour on my pad after I start my massage on the tummy. Is urs a full period flow? Mine only a little bit .. Wonder is it normal? I am still pumping bm .

Lil Ponyo: slowly u get used to the busy schedule without CL . For me as long as my bb drank bm, i am contented . It is not easy .. Motherhood . Let's all enjoy the process
 
It has been tough the past few days. I got mastitis from the engorgement and wrong techniques. Hospitalized n lac consultant tried to help me pump n express but i cant empty fast enough, it got worse n i had high fever. also exhausted after my c sect. now can't bf, took med to stop bf.
Dian Tang: same here the lac consultant only came on the day i discharged. By the time i already was in a mess.

I realized how important it is to have a good CL. Lucky mine is good. iI cannot carry bb, feed or do anything. I advise any preggie to have backup plan even if u think u can handle. Coz i originally started with spontaneous labour but somehow things ended up like this. I will die without CL.
 
lil my hb has flexible working hours hence he helped out a lot such as cooking confinement foods for me n he bathed bb during first month. yes staying with my mum but she is old n din help much except to give comments n helped to look aft bb when I bath etc. I resumed doing simple housework such as sweeping floor n laundry during 3rd week of my confinement. cant depend all on my hb or mum. its tough but all along I do housework sin young so I m quite used to it.
its not easy but it get some time to adjust to be a mother. jia you! u r doing great now!
now my pil is helping to take care on n off, I also bring her to my office as its own biz. cos she is v cranky at my in law place so temporary the arrangements is this way.
Just keep on shushing...my girl too, but she will calm down aft being held upright. my hb used to carry my girl n shush her to sleep. n also its impt to have a white noise in bb room such as fan sound or purifer sound. helps bb to sleep better.
during confinement my bb will nurse then play a while then sleep. I can go to loo. rem not to over stimulate bb.tthey will be tired aft 2hrs of being awake. so tone down let bb cool down n sleep for nap. n while bb is asleep I do my simple housework or rest. set a routine so that bb is ok. not too tired n become cranky.
 
Thanks Sade & Dian Tang, you all seem to have this motherhood thing down pat
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Hope to achieve that one day. Yes it is important to enjoy the process as we go along and not get too caught up in getting it perfect
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Egg Factory, oh dear, hope you are recovering better now. Good that your CL is good and she can take charge. In the meantime, focus on getting better and stronger first. Take care!
 
PSP, egg factory - hugs! The first few weeks of motherhood is the most overwhelming, but things really do get better after that. Having good support and help is vv impt, so you can focus on regaining your strength and sanity. Only after having a baby then I realise how tough motherhood is, but also how rewarding
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Egg factory: cheer up. As long as bb is healthy, bm or fm is good for them. Focus to get well and rest well this one month . After that ur bb need your care .
 
Thanks ladies for ur encouragement. I feel better when e CL is here. I managed to hv e baby latch on me and has required CL that I would like to BreastFeed instead of bottle feed.
 
Jia you PSP and Egg Factory - it has been a tough week! No 2 journeys after pregnancy are ever the same but all of us mummies need to hang in there and do wat we must for the little ones!

Ladies (Znatasha) who get their formula milk from medical halls like Baby Castle or outlets at the Jin Tai group that offer a rebate (eg 70cts) if u bring back an empty tin, do you wonder if the milk is ok as in of the same quality as those sold in NTUC? My MIL is insisting I throw away all the cans I bought from the medical hall..... Haiz!!!!!
 
Dian Tang and Mofmm , thanks for the encouragement.

Ladies i wonder if there is any private FB group for us to chat and share photos of our bb.. I am quite curious about what all yout bbs look like.
 
Egg factory, there is a private Facebook group. Think LuvNhope or Babysmurf are the administrators. Must PM them to add u I think
 
Banysmurf: can you add me in the private Facebook?

Egg factory: Jia You. I'm also struggling. Things will be better. I've engorgement too, you just hv to continue to express out your milk or use cold cabbage on your breast.

Sade: I've started e massage on Monday, but cos I've rashes at my tummy, she is unable to use e hot oil. I really hate my body. Rashes everywhere and perspire alot. Especially when I
Sleep at night, I perspire non stop and make me uncomfortable. Everywhere aching, I think becos I hv to manage e baby myself for e first 4 days, my right hand has been in pain and aching.

Lil: baby developed jaundice on day 3 so she was under e phototherapy for 2 days in e hospital. On Wednesday, went back for checkup and jaundice increased so hv to rent e lightbox home, but baby not willing to sleep in. doctor advise at least 12 hours but so far only 3-4 hours a day. Hopefully her jaundice doesn't increase on Monday otherwise will hv to stay in hospital.
 
Mofmm: I not admistrator. Luvnhope n afew of the seniors are administrator. U can keep a look out at the fb. They have quite active n always have group buy.

Egg factory: u interested to join out FB. Give me Ur email can ask luvnhope to add u.
 
Psp: during I also sweat alot. My mum insisted that i sleep in room with fan only. Best solution sleep in air con room no fan. Don't sweat too much cos will affect Ur BM supply. Drink more lukewarm water or LRD. Cos our BM is make up of our blood n water.
 
Alison, most new mum will hurt their wrist due to wrong holding postures. me too, I hurt my left wrist too n only recovered llately. think most of us will sweat a lot during confinement.
how is the massage lady?
 
Babysmurf i sent you a PM .

Alison : u not allowed to sleep in air con? Its so hot nowadays.. Mine hv mild jaundice n we 'sunbathe' him every morning
 


Babysmurf: I've been sleeping in Aircon room. Just feel uneasy especially when I sweat in the middle of e night. How long will this last?

Sade: the massage lady is good. V professional and most importantly she has her own bed. I've signed a package with her and determined to slim down. Ha ha. How did you find her?
 

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