1st Time...

isabelle,

you think too highly of me..am no high flyer...just one with LOADS of drive and who loves what she does, that's all...in fact, that's all you need to do well in anything.

yes it is a BIG change. of course from time to time i wished i didn't work. i tried being a semi-tai-tai for 3mths and quit at the very first opportunity to do so..

you worked four years? you must be pretty young then.

Jasmine,
sorry to hear that your girl isn't well. hope she'll bounce back soon.

ladies, maclaren is nice...it's the best thing that had happened to me so far. I initially got a graco travel system (comes with infact car seat) for Josh. Aft that bought a maclaren quest few months back cos i can't go out alone with Josh using the graco. it's heavy. but if we walk long distances and go to the park or something, the graco is good. O/w everything else is maclaren.
 


isabelle- no lah, not pregnant, just finding an excuse to buy things. "value in the long run"," scully we have no.2 leh?", dah dah dah, fantastic things to tell my hubby. keke


nellu- yes yes i wan the volo. i need wheels. and for the 1st time, i'm asking for smaller wheels. need something breezier to wheeze ard with.



gals, indeed, sometimes i think ive lost it. coz i think i dun do anything meaningful sitting at home. it can get veyr depressing. but i tell myself i have this one chance to get it right and its just for awhile. but then im a person with ZERO drive, i wish i can nua at home all day long.
 
shauna,
aiya...it's good to be able to nua at home. better than me, high strung and can't relax...it's a personality thing i guess...

for me, i just have to keep telling myself that i have to get it right with the kid and the family, and stop thinking about the what if's...i suppose it will help to hang around those SAHMs who exude confidence, calm and pride about being SAHM. The reason i'm still what i am cos i dun have much such friends at the same phase of life as i am. I do have SAHM friends but they are well advanced in their experience, many did not work for long before becoming SAHM, some were SAHM right from the beginning, and they'll tell me "aiya. it's a phase. will pass one." to me, it doesn't help at all...

i say get the maclaren. You've seen mine right? i tell you it's so enjoyable to use it. And Josh likes it as well
 
oh a large proportion of my gfs are unmarried as well. nowadays pple dun like to get married early, if they even do, in the 1st place. hmm..

its ok, its ur choice in life. if u're unhappy staying at home, it would defeat the purpose of being a SAHM isnt it? its better to bring some dough home and hire a good helper to aid u upkeeping the house and have her look after the kid. in no time, josh can go to a good cc(maybe with the extra money he can go to eton,keke) and learn some things as well. sidetrack abit, ive always wanted to send sidney to pat's, but if i send him there n not work, i would have to pawn all my jewelry. HAHA.

for me, its really a problem. becoz i just cant let go, so in the end, i keep extending my leave. 1st it was just 3 mths maternity, then it was a year n a half, n i'm taking 2 years in total now.

i wonder if i'm gonna quit at the end of the leave. haha.i'm just planning to send sidney to cc when he can run n talk and i can entrust him to public caregivers. haiya. motherhood is just not that easy.
 
shauna
oic. Hee...
R u a civil servant? Can just extend no pay leave so easily?

nellu
dun be too hard on urself. Me tends to be a perfectionist. Actually i think i was more of a perfectionist when i was working. I wanted to do everything right for my child (and as much as possible at wk too), esp since I already spent limited time with her. So I wld cook for her on weekends, boil apple juice, taste had to be just right, not too bland dah dah dah... rush down after work to take her to botanic gardens etc. Was quite stressful at one point in time.
Now that I'm at home, I tend to take things for granted and I buy a lot less things for her too. (Of course the fact that I'm not feeling well and dun go shopping cld have to do with it too. Hee...)
Bottomline is to reframe your perspective. Sometimes changing the way we think abt things makes a world of difference. If u always want to 'get it right' and be in control, chances are, u won't and u'll end up being frustrated cos u can't control many things. Just enjoy the little blessings and moments of joy. (Let Him get it right for you!)
Just my opinion, hope u dun mind
happy.gif
 
isabelle- clever leh. yes , now i am. after i was pregnant, i became a govt slave. keke. my hubby is a very pro-family man. so he didnt like anything with extended working hours n it made things alot easier to work for an employer who can let u take some time off to be with ur child.

agree with wat isabelle says. i keep thinkin i have to be very careful wtih everything abt my child coz i oni get one chance. whether its disciplining, sleep, feeds, even his clothes! n i start feeling i'm the lousiest mom in the world coz sometimes i turn on the dvds on his more cranky days(when i tell myself cannot let him watch too much tv),n dah dah dah. and then i start shouting at hubby n hating my mil to vent. not the best thing to impart to my son ..hmm..

ive learnt to take things alot easier these times.(i still turn on the dvds, but i stop being so hard on myself).
 
Jasmine
i'm also not sure saw the other thread mummy says it's 6th March and changed to 9th. but 9th is a sun usu sales starts fri.

Isabelle
wow u so yound, i had worked for 10 yrs n just recieved the 10th yrs serivce i sound very oldies liao..... fa mei lo. ur leave finishing soon huh enjoin ur leave with ur gal n hb this wk end.
 
Sgn,
Thanks think will ran down this friday during lunch. See got any good buy. So will you be going there too? You too work for 10yrs, both of us work for so long, I also can't believe that I already work for that long, time really flies. Sometimes when I think if I were to change my career also a bit hard lor, already use to it liao.
 
Shauna, we r both govt slaves, that's why we r called civil 'servants'. Sigh... If only I can extand my leave. I would want to spend time with my girl too, esp the 1st yr, but financially, we'll do so much better and provide better for her if I continue to work, which was why I only took 2 mths of no-pay leave.

nellu, there are times where I carried my girl to my mum's place and when I leave for work, I hear her crying. Makes me wanna cry too n i kept thinking, why can't i juz be there with her. I think there are times when u look at ur baby and u find the reason why u gave up ur job in the 1st place. For our little darlings, we can give up on a lot of things. I really envy SAHMs but i noe if i really become one, hubby will be tire out so I must do my part also. Before I was a mother, i was first a wife. So must do my wifely duties and help out lor...

Isabelle, u working for 4 yrs only? I around there too... how old r u?? =)

Hmmm... will go down this weekend to hunt for a gd car seat... Better put her in n get her used to it. She's almost 9 months n not much experience in the car seat. Very scared she'll refuse to sit in there.
 
jan- i understd. we would be alot better off if i'm in the workforce too. but we're trying our best to spend as much time as we can w the boy, as long as we can manage. even if it means that we have to do away with some luxuries (but to us, time with him is the biggest luxury we could ever have.)

to be a sahm, it is veyr impt to have ur hubby's support. becoz he turns into the sole breadwinner instantly.i'm very lucky that altho we are not well off, but hubby is supportive of my decision to stay at home, n that we are on the same page(actually more like MY page..haha) when it comes to parenting.

when i bought the car seat , i was worrying if sidney would stay in there. thank god he did! (and rather happily, i must say!)
 
Story to share: Mr Patience (aka the hubby) lost his patience with Mr Cranky (aka Josh)

This is farnie ok gals. Mr P always says that I'm too impatient with Mr C. But he never realised how Mr C can really drive one up the wall.

Last nite, aft sleeping through from 730pm, Mr C woke up at 1145-12mn (can't remember exact time). Aft that it was hell. Mr C refuse to settle back to sleep. The moment he was picked up he slept. When he's laid back down into the cot he woke up. Didn't cry but just rolled around for few mins then asked to be carried. This went on till abt 145am. Finally Mr P got so fed-up got out of bed and carried Mr C. Mr C howled like mad!! I was too tired and didn't want to intervene anymore. I knew for sure Mr P did all the wrong things. All the things that I did not want to do anymore to put Mr C back to sleep. I didn't know how long it took, but i guess by the time Mr C really slept it was nearly 3am.

This morning Mr P was grouchy. (hahaha!) and said very angrily to Mr C "You Naughty Boy! Why didn't you want to sleep?!"

What is unknown to Mr P is that his very presence, a re-entry aft an absence of 10 days (like forever to a baby!), is the very problem! It hasn't dawn on Mr P that he has been doing things differently with Mr C that it confuses C and C refuses now to conform...

...the victim...MUM.
 
Jan, Shauna,

Hubby's support to SAHM is VERY IMPT. This support should not be something that is of lip service (like what i am getting most of the time now). It really should be in all aspects; financial, decision-making, etc...

it's not that my hubby isn't supportive. He much prefers that I stay home with Josh. BUT he loves his money too much. He talks alot abt "money being no issue" but when it comes to the crunch it's always something else. That drives me up the wall.
Another example: routine for Josh. Said he'll pitch in and support. But keep asking me for the nth million time "what is his routine ah?" or when i told him, "when putting josh to sleep, dun carry , pat and walk around anymore. let's gradually reduce that. Start by eliminating the walking. then the next aft that..". Agreed. But when it comes to the crunch, old habits die hard....

One last thing: time off for me
He always says "you can take time off. I didn't say you can't. just tell me when." but i never had the opportunity. Every freaking weekend there is something on that i can't have my own time off. Not only that, he'll tell me when i told him the day i wanted off, "ah, can you go only aft you feed the boy?" HUH then what kind of time off is that? Asked him why. ANS: i dunno how to prepare his meal! Aiyo...slow cooker is cooking. just scoop, cool and feed...so tough meh?!

so you see, you need support in the real sense of the word. not just money, not just housework. If he said he'd help, then he'll have to help in the right way. isn't it?

btw, i'm secretly glad that Josh caused trouble for him last nite. gave him a taste of what goes on in my life...hahahah
 
actually, my hubby is also like that to a certain extent. they dun really remmeber the routine until u tell them a few hundred times. hubs din noe the exact timings(n my routine has been the same since sidney was 6wks old) until sidney was at least 10 mths old. but its ok coz he would check. u just have to be patient n keep telling them over n again.

i had prbs instilling sleep training initially coz he was against it but eventually when i did do it, he now wonders why we din do it earlier.

i dun have time off. he tells me i can go and take a break all the time but i face the exact same thing as u. which is gota breastfeed so i have actually never left my son alone. now i'm used to it, its me n sidney or nothing.

i guess its good enough that they respect the parenting decisions they make. they are very forgetful and at times it seems like they cant be bothered.

a sahm without any help does not get to go out. sadly, even when u're ill, u may not get an off day. u must find justice in ur decision to be one loh.*hugz
 
Nellu,
What happen to you, just happen to me over the last weekend. My darling Nichole got up crying away just past midnight, carry her out from her cot, put her beside me she sleep. But I can't get to sleep coz its too cramp sleeping together. Finally I have to put her back to her own cot to sleep. And it happen a few times cry and stop cry and stop... faint lor... Hubby only will sleep there say why she is crying like that hah? I say how would I know, nightmare lor. The 2nd day he will also like your hubby ask my gal why she not good girl last night. Hehe like she understand what he meant lor.
 
nellu
aiyo it happens every kid at night bah.
but i agreed that time off is very important.
so sometimes when i worked nite ky goes nanny's place for 3 nite i find peace and can sleep striaght for 6hrs without waking to attend to him.
hb also learning to pick up the part of feeding and padding bb to sleep give them some time to learn that it's not easy lor.
 
ladies,

thanks thanks for letting me rant here. and for your sharing and countless advice...it's just me...i wear my heart on my sleeve, just speak my mind...it doesn't mean much ya? We are still rock solid.

Anyway, just now took Josh out to John little+robinsons. Hubby's idea..he eat snake at work..hahaha...on the way back, we agreed on a few things (hahaha kena 'bullied' by his son last nite got positive effect!).
1. we are going to move Josh into his own room by end of march.
2. Aft that, we'll sleep train him, both of us.
3. we will be consistent between the two of us with the execution of his routine.

...made me feel much better and more motivated...
 
nellu- sidney still sleeps in the same room as us. but it may be better for josh to go to the nursery if ur hubby will go pick him up. sleep training, ive read, may not work on all babies.

this is what i did, n still do:

Afternoon nap 12-2.30pm
put him down in cot at 11.45am, read a story and sit with him. he takes a very short while to toss himself to sleep. but of coz they will climb here climb there n look everywhere n bite the cot, n whatever. just ignore him. meanwhile i'm sitting in the room with him (but in the afterns even if i leave him there alone, he's fine n get to sleep himself).

Bedtime 8pm-
last feed, story, goodnite kiss,lights out,and me n hubby will lie in our beds with him until he falls aslp. he sometimes cries out of fustration coz he cant get himself to sleep, but we leave him n reassure him if necessary and it takes abt 10min?

the inital days will be tough. his longest bout was 45 min i think(n that, i consider short coz many books claim some babies can cry up to 3 hours), of crying n what have u. but it was sorted out in a matter of days. and he sleeps thru. does NOT get up at all in the nites until 6.30 to 7am.


hope this helps. but u may wanna fine tune it to suit josh.
 
shauna,

thanks for sharing that with me. sure does give me some ideas.

The reason we decided to move him out is that it will be easier to train him to sleep on his own eventually. Right now, Josh goes to sleep quite promptly between 7-730pm; aft carrying+pat for abt 15-20mins. He sleeps quite well actually, but i find that everytime hubby returns at around 8pm or so and he goes into the bedroom to change, Josh gets woken up. Sadly, my hubby's a bit clumsy, so he does create some unnecessary noise there. It doesn't help either that Josh is extremely sensitive to sound. So Josh's sleep does get disturbed and sometimes (like last night) he gets a bit excited and would not settle back.

Josh sleeps very well between 730pm right up till abt midnite or 1am or so. Tha's because no one is there in the room with him!

my kid is strange really...sometimes i really can't figure him out...so it's quite an adventure..
 
sgn n jan
actually i dun think I'm young. Just that 4 years of working only sounds very short i guess. To me, young is like early twenties enjoying life's carefree days!
 
hahaha isabelle,

then i'm like a piece of fossil...kekeke...i'm DEFINITELY not in my twenties and had not had carefree days for a LONG time now...
 
isabelle,
Im like liao ko ko liao, if you say you not young. Is good you're already expecting no. 2 at your age. Coz you still have energy to look after them. I felt I got no energy after giving birth to my gal. Like dying super no energy lor. Too bad I only got married at age 32 and trying for baby for 4 yrs than got preggy. So to me is dam tiring, now come to think of having 2nd child a bit "jing pi li jin" lor.
 
jasmine,
dun worry lah...if it does happen i.e. kid #2, i think you'll find the energy.

yes isabelle good that you are having no 2 at your age. i really think a lot of energy is needed to bring kids up. when i was your age, i only just got married...
 
Isabelle,
Today the baby Fair at TAKA is on 1st day, if you need to buy any stuff for your baby can go and take a look. Later Im going down during lunch. Going to look for shoes for my gal. She really out grow very fast.
 
nellu n jasmine
no lah pls dun say u all r fossils or lao ko ko. What i meant was once i started working, got married and esp after becoming a mother, the word young disappeared from my life. U know wat I mean, the REAL responsibilites weighs down upon u.
I have never signed up for facial packages, spa or massage packages that the young and carefree can afford. If I had married later mebbe i still cld have enjoyed those, even after having kids cos more finacially stable. Now if I dare to even think of it, I think i wld have zero savings and my hubby wld kill me! So it's a trade-off i guess...

jasmine,
me might only go on 22 mar cos that's when i'm gg for check-up and may know the gender of #2! If boy then i'll go check out clothes. If girl, no need to go liao... just use the old stuff...
 
isabelle,
Which hospital will you be giving birth? Is your gynae station at the same hospital? Yeah true if no.2 is same gender don't need to buy much can use back her jie jie clothes.
 
Jasmine/ nellu
we all old lah, dun fright ok.....i also had my boy at 30, now i dun dare to think of 2nd one cos soooo tired to look after 1 kid n work.

Jasmine
update us about the sales ok.
 
Isabelle
wonder ur gals clothes still can waer? errr i means the pants, cos my boy's pants' rubber band all worn out wonder i should keep from next one as not elastic anymore.
 
jasmine
me gg to TMC. My gynae only delivers there.

sgn
she doesn't wear pants that much. Mebbe u can change the elastic if u want the clothes to last longer?
I keep all her clothes unless it is stained very badly or looks very terrible. Also passed some to my SILs baby girls. Waiting for them to pass em back! Will be really old by then but for home wear guess it's ok.
Think if i get another girl, i will get new clothes in future, but more for going out cos it wldn't be fair that my first kid wore cute n lovely dresses and the 2nd one wears faded rags out!
 
isabelle- i'm a year older but u definitely look alot younger than me. i'm sure alot of mommies here would agree when motherhood came along, spa, facial, manicure n shopping trips have turned into buying sprees for the babies instead. we have channelled our energy(n money, n time) to a different shopping experience!


jasmine- u have to work late, n still come home to ur little one.its not easy. anyway nowadays many pple marry late(some never!).

ive been keeping my maternity clothes n the baby's clothes aside but i doubt i'm gonna wear them by the time i get pregnant again. but maternity clothes cost a bomb. one ugly top can easily cost u 50bucks!
 
Hi hi,
I am back from TAKA. Happily shopping forgot about the time. Hehe... Brought few pyjamas with the moo..cow cute cute for my gal keke... Also brought a a pair of COMBI shoe for her. Have been thinking to buy that at their last promo sales, but didn't coz she haven't learn walking, so now buy just nice for her since she is learning to walk now. Last I brought the AVENT bottles, promo set at $26.90 for 2pcs 260ml + 3pcs 125ml bottles. The sales is worth going. I may go down again may be next week need to get straw mag for my girl, she is learning to drink from straw. Aiyah come to shopping time like not enough. As for Car Seats there is a lot there I saw FERRARI brand too, wow like very high class lor.
 
Shauna,
Yeah after birth, all the shopping is for our darling. Even my colleague says ha now you buy things not for yourself liao hor most for your gal. I guess this is by nature of all mummies will do for their dar dar. You're right man. Maternity clothes are dam X! I only brought few the last round, the rest I went to those factory outlet to buy those super queen size type, so didn't cost that much to me. My job I do not need to see client so even wear casually also no problem.
 
Isabelle,
Oh so your gynae is from private not from there lor. I also delivered my gal there by C-sect, but my gynae is from there.
 
Sgn,
The sales is worth going. What you intend to get for KY?
I will go again, will go back and check if the shoe I buy can fit my gal, if not will go and change the size. Coz lunch time for me is not enough for me to shop. And I don't intend to go during weekend to avoid the crowd.
 
isabelle,
My gynae is Eunice Chua at TMC. Oh I buy the promo set comes in 125ml & 260ml. My girl now is 16 months. Her milk intake is like 1 full bottle of the 125mls, which is like 5oz. I do use the 260ml, but seem like she can only take up to 5 oz each time and refuse to finish her milk. So Im still using the small bottle plus the medium 1.
 
jsamine
that's cheap for 5 bottles. dun know next wk when i go still have this offer.
same like ur gal my ky also drink 5oz sometimes even less which 4oz bottle comes in more handy.

Nellu
are u going to celebrate Josh's 1st birthday?
 
sgn,
thinking of how to celebrate Josh's bday. Cos we will be away in Paris/London the weekend just before his birthday so it will have to be sort of a belated one. Also, got no maid so cannot do it at home, o/w i'll clean up until i die!

You celebrating for KY? What are you planning to do?
 
shauna,
meant to ask you where you got the maxi-cosi for sidney. Checked it out at JL and Robinsons yday, the price for the Prior is $449 before 20%disc. Suspect it's the same everywhere right?

We're going to the Taka baby fair to check it out as well. If the price is good we'll get the maxi-cosi too..

of course IF money was not the issue, Maxi-Cosi Tobi will be the BEST! Josh sat in it at Robinsons for a while and didn't want to get out...hahahaha
 
nellu
wow Paris! tour with hb n Josh? then can't invite u n josh to ky's birthday celebration lor.

well i plan to do it at chalet n invite some close friends n relatives. cos also dun plan to clean up after the event.
 
nellu- we bought it at baby kingdom /hypermart (whichever it is) at kaki bukit. it the same price(works out to be 300plus with the discount) but we could get the saleslady to fix it in the car for us. i'm not very good at digesting instructions coz might as well let her do it while we watch her!

robinsons n JL would be cheapest if u purchase it in town. ive been to mothercare, n paragon,n taka dept store(before sale),all selling at 449.
 
sgn,
ya, can't wait to go to Paris/London. I sua ku, never been to Europe before.

would really have loved to go for KY's bday...

yup the cleaning up is the headache. Also i want to be able to spend time talking with friends instead of running around to get stuff and all..

Shauna,
now that you mentioned, i think we'll really get a better deal at robinsons. Now they have a sale on, 20% disc across the board (except for Britax) + additional 5% for card holders. So we'll get 25% off...*gleeful smile*

it's farnie...since daddy came back, for at least four days, Josh's routine got totally screwed. But yesterday it miraculously went back to normal again...hmmm.....
 
ref car seat,

looking at the prices and everything, i'd rather get the Tobi than to pay almost the same amount for a Britax....
 
nellu
i also never been to europe ley the furthest is Aussie.
wahhhhh. then can ask u to buy coach, LV n other branded stuff for me hee hee.
my coli is now in US wanted to ask her to help me but dun know what model to get from coach.
 
yup robinsons is a good place to get baby stuff whenever they have their 20%.

i think the last time i bought a labelled item was when i was preggers. with the baby, all the brands go on him, not on me!(LV will be cheaper there but each person can oni buy a limited amt, plus pls remember to claim ur tax. its quite a sum! haha.) anyway, just an ah soh now, need what brands rite? my baby is my favourite accessory.*mushy
 
sgn,
you can go to the coach website to see the bags. Then let your colleague know which one you want. That's how i got my hubby to buy for me..keke

shauna,
hahah i dun think i can afford an LV. Anyway LV isn't my kind of brand anyway. I like the lesser known understated types like Kate Spade.

ya...now AH SOH need LV for what?! Worse if you take one out some idiot out there will think that you got a fake!
 
nellu- wun lah.they will think u're the rich mommy who can be a tai tai (they dunno what a hard life we have, haha.) actually now they all sit in the cupboard. i used to buy all the tiny bags so nothing would do the job of a decent diaper bag. and now i just use any bag that can stuff diapers n his bottle.
 


speaking of people thinking we have a good life, i just got an email from a business associate. He really thought that i have a good life staying at home! dunno what those pple out there have in their minds? So if you become a SAHM means you have good life and dun need to slog it out?! Think they dunno that most of us choose this route because we love our families and kids. Who says we dun slog it out? I slog day in day out trying to see to Josh's needs so much so that i lost weight and am back to my (read this carefully!) pre-marriage weight...i'm now underweight and I am darn worried.

...good life...bleh...
 
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