Young Mummy
- Thread starter kelly_koh
- Start date
blueangel30
New Member
Hazel,
yah, if possible, bring ur bb along. I also have the same fear sometimes cos I stay with my MIL. For short periods like going down to the grocery store or getting a quick lunch, I will leave my boy with MIL, but jus couldn help feeling worried and will finish the errand and rush back ASAP. But if for long periods like a few hours thingy, I will travel all the way to my mum's house and leave my boy with her. U can say I trust my mom more...
Do u have anyone else u can entrust ur gal to for hours if u are away? If not I think the best choice is to bring her along cos if not u would not enjoy ur gathering with ur frens if in ur mind u keep thiking how ur gal is now..blaa....
yah, if possible, bring ur bb along. I also have the same fear sometimes cos I stay with my MIL. For short periods like going down to the grocery store or getting a quick lunch, I will leave my boy with MIL, but jus couldn help feeling worried and will finish the errand and rush back ASAP. But if for long periods like a few hours thingy, I will travel all the way to my mum's house and leave my boy with her. U can say I trust my mom more...
prettyinpink
New Member
hi girls,
i am back.
i am back.
mavys_m2bagain
New Member
hi young jes,
i'm a mother of a coming 3mths old bb gal. (Not a young mummy liao lah)
just pop in to advise you that parenthood is indeed a heavy responsibility as advised by kelly. and i personally feel that itz a duty that must be fulfilled and enjoyed by both husband and wife and not just 1 person.
in my initial months of pregnancy and few days after i gave birth, i thought and felt that my hubby is not supporting me physcially and emotionally and it almost lead to pre and post nantal blues but i'm glad my hubby was there to talk me through and lend me a shoulder to cry on. Thus, I advised you to think it thru properly and if possible, discuss it with your families. All the best to you.
i'm a mother of a coming 3mths old bb gal. (Not a young mummy liao lah)
just pop in to advise you that parenthood is indeed a heavy responsibility as advised by kelly. and i personally feel that itz a duty that must be fulfilled and enjoyed by both husband and wife and not just 1 person.
in my initial months of pregnancy and few days after i gave birth, i thought and felt that my hubby is not supporting me physcially and emotionally and it almost lead to pre and post nantal blues but i'm glad my hubby was there to talk me through and lend me a shoulder to cry on. Thus, I advised you to think it thru properly and if possible, discuss it with your families. All the best to you.
aquarius_888
Active Member
Hi Hazel
Ya, got to learn to let go a bit. I too have been trying. Oh, saw your postings in the other forum. Hope you are feeling better now. How's your gal?
Ya, got to learn to let go a bit. I too have been trying. Oh, saw your postings in the other forum. Hope you are feeling better now. How's your gal?
Mel,Kelly, S@L..
Huh, i dun like the idea of bringing my gal along to the gathering. Whenever i bring her out she tends to make a lot of noise and very notti one. I dun think i can cope @@ Then most of the time they will meet after work or in the evening so not so good to bring my dotter along.
S@L, same as you...I also trust my mother more than my mil. Last time i used to put her at my mother's house if me and hubby are going out for a date. Then now maybe hubby is too lazy, he is not so willing to travel all the way there. So now if we are going out, we just leave her with my mil.
Hi aquarius,
so nice to see you here.
Oh u mean my posting at M4M?? Tks, i am feeling better now. Life still gotto go on. Maybe the baby is not meant to be mine.
My gal is doing well, now at 9.5mths old, she has started to learn how to stand, have 6 teeths liao..How abt your boy?
Huh, i dun like the idea of bringing my gal along to the gathering. Whenever i bring her out she tends to make a lot of noise and very notti one. I dun think i can cope @@ Then most of the time they will meet after work or in the evening so not so good to bring my dotter along.
S@L, same as you...I also trust my mother more than my mil. Last time i used to put her at my mother's house if me and hubby are going out for a date. Then now maybe hubby is too lazy, he is not so willing to travel all the way there. So now if we are going out, we just leave her with my mil.
Hi aquarius,
so nice to see you here.
Oh u mean my posting at M4M?? Tks, i am feeling better now. Life still gotto go on. Maybe the baby is not meant to be mine.
My gal is doing well, now at 9.5mths old, she has started to learn how to stand, have 6 teeths liao..How abt your boy?
Hi Hazel,
Then if that's the case, leave her with your MIL. Anyway it's not always & only a couple of hours, it won't be so bad. Your MIL is after all her grandmother & I believe your MIL loves her just as much. Learn to let go okie?? Otherwise your resentment will build up over time. You need have time for yourself.
Then if that's the case, leave her with your MIL. Anyway it's not always & only a couple of hours, it won't be so bad. Your MIL is after all her grandmother & I believe your MIL loves her just as much. Learn to let go okie?? Otherwise your resentment will build up over time. You need have time for yourself.
aquarius_888
Active Member
Hi Hazel
Good to hear that you are coping fine. My boy is now 6 mths plus. So far only can see 1 tooth.
He has been very cranky when I bring him home but when he is at MIL's place, is ok leh. I hope he is not becoming too attached to MIL. I sure dun like it.
Good to hear that you are coping fine. My boy is now 6 mths plus. So far only can see 1 tooth.
H
heavy heart
Guest
Young Jes,
Just hope you get some family support or at least go to some social help. They can give you the right support and advice.
pls dun do anything rash.
To me, I just feel abortion is a very very cruel thing... all of you here are mummies now, with little bundles of joy.... I am sure you all feel terrible when you think about killing your own baby.
It is an emotional scar and trauma that is going to be with you for life. Pls dun make this mistake and regret for the rest of yourlife.
Can always consider adoption... at least you have done the noble thing of bringing a life into this world and give it a chance to live.
Furthermore, you are responsible for what you have done. Killing the baby is just a quick way out, it is not being responsible.
I just hope you can sort things out.... it pains my heart so much whenever I hear of pple wanting to abort their baby, it is just so cruel. We have no right to away another's life.
Just hope you get some family support or at least go to some social help. They can give you the right support and advice.
pls dun do anything rash.
To me, I just feel abortion is a very very cruel thing... all of you here are mummies now, with little bundles of joy.... I am sure you all feel terrible when you think about killing your own baby.
It is an emotional scar and trauma that is going to be with you for life. Pls dun make this mistake and regret for the rest of yourlife.
Can always consider adoption... at least you have done the noble thing of bringing a life into this world and give it a chance to live.
Furthermore, you are responsible for what you have done. Killing the baby is just a quick way out, it is not being responsible.
I just hope you can sort things out.... it pains my heart so much whenever I hear of pple wanting to abort their baby, it is just so cruel. We have no right to away another's life.
sorry if I offend anyone, but IMHO, as cruel as it is to take a life away, its even more cruel (I would say far more) to give birth to a life and not be able to raise the child up in a happy, healthy environment. If this life is not carried on, at least the pain ends there. But to have an unhappy childhood with a single, unprepared mother who is constantly not happy or depressed, or worse still, blames the child for her fate 5-10 years down the road, is far more cruel to the child, who will have to bear the implications and scars of childhood for the rest of his adult life.
One's childhood has a far greater impact than what most people know/think. Alot of disillusioned, unbalanced, dysfunctional adults would not be what they are if they grew up in a happy, complete, nuturing family.
Not everyone can handle the responsibility and commitment required of a mother, to put such a burden upon the shoulders of a young girl whose bf doesn't even know what he wants, is not only disastrous for herself, her future, but most importantly for the would-be child's.
One's childhood has a far greater impact than what most people know/think. Alot of disillusioned, unbalanced, dysfunctional adults would not be what they are if they grew up in a happy, complete, nuturing family.
Not everyone can handle the responsibility and commitment required of a mother, to put such a burden upon the shoulders of a young girl whose bf doesn't even know what he wants, is not only disastrous for herself, her future, but most importantly for the would-be child's.
Young Jes,
just to share wif u a friend of mine's experience... she was preg by her bf when she was 17. She strongly felt she's not ready for it yet.. so she went for an abortion with no regret.. 4 yrs later, she's preg by the same bf again.. tis time she told me.. I've advised her to keep the bb cause tt time her then bf leave it to her decision and said he dun mind a marriage too..and the fact tt she's abort 1 b4, I mentioned to her if she abort again, she may not b able to conceive again.. it's not scaring her.. abortion, other than the decision to abort itself, is also a dangerous op. if not done professionally, will cause infertility in the future..
now. my fr is married wif the same man, though got common probs wif her hubby like financial prob, quarrel over kid, not enugh rest for herself and not forgetting the shame reflected on her parents faces when she's married shotgun.. she has no regrets bcause she chose this path and she is determined tt she'll walk this journey bravely and certainly her boy brings joy to compensate her loss and though her parents were filled wif shame at first they r soon overwhelmed by the joy of the arrival of their grandson.. her boy is aldy 5 yrs old and she's now trying for another bb..
On the other hand, deep inside her, she's still thinking abt the bb she nvr think twice b4 when she made tt decision.. she didn't regret.. just tt she can nvr forget tt page in her life when she went for the abortion..
So.. no matter wat u decided.. u must b strong enugh to live wif it.. I've heard acquaintance having abortions 5 times and didn't blink an eye..
Yr bf and yr families r very important.. but the most important is yourself.. U gonna live wif this forever till u die or till u lost yr memory..
no matter wat decisions u'll make eventually, there'll still b problems .. and in every problem themselves, lies another solution.. God Bless U! Take Care..
p.s. sorry for being so grandma
just to share wif u a friend of mine's experience... she was preg by her bf when she was 17. She strongly felt she's not ready for it yet.. so she went for an abortion with no regret.. 4 yrs later, she's preg by the same bf again.. tis time she told me.. I've advised her to keep the bb cause tt time her then bf leave it to her decision and said he dun mind a marriage too..and the fact tt she's abort 1 b4, I mentioned to her if she abort again, she may not b able to conceive again.. it's not scaring her.. abortion, other than the decision to abort itself, is also a dangerous op. if not done professionally, will cause infertility in the future..
now. my fr is married wif the same man, though got common probs wif her hubby like financial prob, quarrel over kid, not enugh rest for herself and not forgetting the shame reflected on her parents faces when she's married shotgun.. she has no regrets bcause she chose this path and she is determined tt she'll walk this journey bravely and certainly her boy brings joy to compensate her loss and though her parents were filled wif shame at first they r soon overwhelmed by the joy of the arrival of their grandson.. her boy is aldy 5 yrs old and she's now trying for another bb..
On the other hand, deep inside her, she's still thinking abt the bb she nvr think twice b4 when she made tt decision.. she didn't regret.. just tt she can nvr forget tt page in her life when she went for the abortion..
So.. no matter wat u decided.. u must b strong enugh to live wif it.. I've heard acquaintance having abortions 5 times and didn't blink an eye..
Yr bf and yr families r very important.. but the most important is yourself.. U gonna live wif this forever till u die or till u lost yr memory..
no matter wat decisions u'll make eventually, there'll still b problems .. and in every problem themselves, lies another solution.. God Bless U! Take Care..
p.s. sorry for being so grandma
My bf told his mum abt my pregnancy last nite. His mum didnt anything much but was rather dissapointed. She asked me over and talk about it tml. I'm so lost now. I've been vommiting these few days and had a fever last nite. Feel so sick and was crying almost everyday.I'm so afraid that i'm having pre nantal blues.
young jes,
has yr fever subsided? if not, must go see doctor u noe.. remember to tell him u r pregnant so tt he won't give u too strong medicine..
hmm... his mum asked u to talk abt it.. i suspected she will ask u to abort.. wat do u think? if she really did tt, will u tell yr parents too so tt they can make decisions for u..Wish u all the best!
has yr fever subsided? if not, must go see doctor u noe.. remember to tell him u r pregnant so tt he won't give u too strong medicine..
hmm... his mum asked u to talk abt it.. i suspected she will ask u to abort.. wat do u think? if she really did tt, will u tell yr parents too so tt they can make decisions for u..Wish u all the best!
hi CubbieBB,
my fever subsided le.. still feel a little sick now.. but better le..Hope the fever wun affect the baby..
Anyway, i feel the same way too. I think she will ask me to abort. She told my bf tat it wasnt good for us to get married so early. She said tat it was easy for her to give us the money to prepare for the wedding but it will be hard for us to take care of the baby after we gave birth to it..
When my bf ask her wat to do, she say is up to us.. But in the end she say wait till i come den we talk together.. If she really ask me to abort, i dun think i will tell my parents as they are against abortion. By telling my parents, i'm left with no choice but to give birth to the baby. Since the other party is unwilling, i do not wish to make things turn ugly.
I'm going to his house this evening. Hope everything will be fine.
my fever subsided le.. still feel a little sick now.. but better le..Hope the fever wun affect the baby..
Anyway, i feel the same way too. I think she will ask me to abort. She told my bf tat it wasnt good for us to get married so early. She said tat it was easy for her to give us the money to prepare for the wedding but it will be hard for us to take care of the baby after we gave birth to it..
When my bf ask her wat to do, she say is up to us.. But in the end she say wait till i come den we talk together.. If she really ask me to abort, i dun think i will tell my parents as they are against abortion. By telling my parents, i'm left with no choice but to give birth to the baby. Since the other party is unwilling, i do not wish to make things turn ugly.
I'm going to his house this evening. Hope everything will be fine.
Hi, Hazel79 & Auquarius 888
I also dun like my daughter to be so attached to my MIL. If she is attached to my mum I am ok, but not to my MIL. Sometimes she don't want me and I will feel so sad and angry. Feel like taking care of her myself. How come we have this feeling huh.
I also dun like my daughter to be so attached to my MIL. If she is attached to my mum I am ok, but not to my MIL. Sometimes she don't want me and I will feel so sad and angry. Feel like taking care of her myself. How come we have this feeling huh.
Just happen to chance upon this thread.
Angrymum... I think you need to overcome that thought... because ultimately your MIL is still your kid's granny. How would you feel if your hubby tells you that he doesn't like the kid to be close to your mum? I don't think it will feel good.
If you daughter isn't close to you, the reason could be that you need to spend more quality time with her to strengten the bond.
Don't let that resentment overcome your rationality. You should be happy that your daughter is doted by her grandparents be it maternal or paternal =)
Angrymum... I think you need to overcome that thought... because ultimately your MIL is still your kid's granny. How would you feel if your hubby tells you that he doesn't like the kid to be close to your mum? I don't think it will feel good.
If you daughter isn't close to you, the reason could be that you need to spend more quality time with her to strengten the bond.
Don't let that resentment overcome your rationality. You should be happy that your daughter is doted by her grandparents be it maternal or paternal =)
U
under_grad
Guest
Dear Jess,
It is difficult now than 10 years back when I made the decision to abort without much hesitation. I was pregnant at the age of 19 as an undergraduate. I was crying alot but rather than left it to my bf now hubby to suggest abortion I told him that I have decided to go ahead & tell no parents but on one condition that he must never bring this issue up again. Why? I know you cant believe that I very very against abortion before my time. I did not bear to disappoint my doting parents, grandparents and relatives. Furthermore, I did not want to give up my bright future ahead. Thereafter, I suffer from depression and cry a lot still whenever I think of that poor baby of mine (tears welling up as I write this). Now I think I'm expecting (testing today) again after 8 years. I really hope that god will forgive me & help me deliver a healthy baby in time to come. Hope my experience can give you some consolation that you are not the worst person around....
It is difficult now than 10 years back when I made the decision to abort without much hesitation. I was pregnant at the age of 19 as an undergraduate. I was crying alot but rather than left it to my bf now hubby to suggest abortion I told him that I have decided to go ahead & tell no parents but on one condition that he must never bring this issue up again. Why? I know you cant believe that I very very against abortion before my time. I did not bear to disappoint my doting parents, grandparents and relatives. Furthermore, I did not want to give up my bright future ahead. Thereafter, I suffer from depression and cry a lot still whenever I think of that poor baby of mine (tears welling up as I write this). Now I think I'm expecting (testing today) again after 8 years. I really hope that god will forgive me & help me deliver a healthy baby in time to come. Hope my experience can give you some consolation that you are not the worst person around....
Hi all,
i'm still at home now.. not yet pick up the courage to go and face his mum. I am trying to delay as much time as possible.. but i know tat at the end of the day, i still have to face the truth.. So i'm going to his house right after i post my message here. Hope i can post another
message with good news for all of you after i met his mum.
Kelly,
i've received ur email about the abortion. Really touched. Didnt know that the baby is already so well developed by 8 weeks. The email makes me think twice about aborting the baby.
i'm still at home now.. not yet pick up the courage to go and face his mum. I am trying to delay as much time as possible.. but i know tat at the end of the day, i still have to face the truth.. So i'm going to his house right after i post my message here. Hope i can post another
message with good news for all of you after i met his mum.
Kelly,
i've received ur email about the abortion. Really touched. Didnt know that the baby is already so well developed by 8 weeks. The email makes me think twice about aborting the baby.
jes
i know you must be feeling terrible now. Did your bf said anything?
so sorry, i am not very good with words, don't really know how to console you. I think you can see a clear picture of what is happening now. Your bf side is obviously not going to take any responsibility for the baby. Any being a single mum is not easy.
Take a good rest tonight and think about it tml when you have a clear mind.
Take care!
i know you must be feeling terrible now. Did your bf said anything?
so sorry, i am not very good with words, don't really know how to console you. I think you can see a clear picture of what is happening now. Your bf side is obviously not going to take any responsibility for the baby. Any being a single mum is not easy.
Take a good rest tonight and think about it tml when you have a clear mind.
Take care!
mel,
its alright. just dunno what to do now. they dun take the baby, i dun want to abort the baby. what should i do now? his mum is forcing me to abort, telling me there's no other way out.
She claimed that she is a open minded lady who will listen to my views. After she tells me all her good old reasons of aborting the baby, she ask me for my views. When i tell her that i dun wish to aobrt the baby, she repeat her reasons again and ask me to think about it. Soon after she left the room, asking me to think twice.
Less den a hour later, she came in again. Asking whether i have gave it a proper thought. She say tat it pains her to ask me to go for abortion, but there is no way out. Her son is too young for marriage. i said nothing. Den she say 'since u noe where to go for gynae, u should noe where to go for abortion..' I burst into tears. She said nothing and soon left the room.
its alright. just dunno what to do now. they dun take the baby, i dun want to abort the baby. what should i do now? his mum is forcing me to abort, telling me there's no other way out.
She claimed that she is a open minded lady who will listen to my views. After she tells me all her good old reasons of aborting the baby, she ask me for my views. When i tell her that i dun wish to aobrt the baby, she repeat her reasons again and ask me to think about it. Soon after she left the room, asking me to think twice.
Less den a hour later, she came in again. Asking whether i have gave it a proper thought. She say tat it pains her to ask me to go for abortion, but there is no way out. Her son is too young for marriage. i said nothing. Den she say 'since u noe where to go for gynae, u should noe where to go for abortion..' I burst into tears. She said nothing and soon left the room.
Hi Jes,
I'm sorry to hear about what happened. I believe that it will always be a debatable issue whether to keep or abort the baby especially when the parties involved are still young and financially unstable. On one hand it is cruel to have to take away a life but on the other hand a child will not grow up happy if the parents are unable to provide the child with a conducive environment to grow in.
Personally I feel that your parents should know about this problem. You need to speak to them and see what are their views on this. It is easy for your bf's mother to suggest abortion without much thought because the one who will suffer the most mentally, emotionally and physically is not related to her by blood. But we cannot blame her as her son will surely be the top most priority to her.
With what you have written here, depending on your bf to come to a final decision or even supporting your decision will be difficult. He is still not matured enough to decide for himself and come to a stand.
Going by the fact that both of you are still very young and the emotional state that both of you are in at the moment, coming to a rational decision will be very tough. It takes alot to enter into a lifetime commitment be it marriage or parenthood.
Hence, I hope that you will consider letting your parents know about this and seek their advices and opinions on this issue... and explore the possibility of having parents from both sides to sit down and discuss the next step. If need be... get professional help from counsellors. Don't attempt to solve this all on your own... get support from the people who loves you and who are matured enough to weigh out the options.
Just remember this... at the end of the day there is no right or wrong decision but the best solution you can find in the prevailing circumstances and live with that decision.
I wish you well.
I'm sorry to hear about what happened. I believe that it will always be a debatable issue whether to keep or abort the baby especially when the parties involved are still young and financially unstable. On one hand it is cruel to have to take away a life but on the other hand a child will not grow up happy if the parents are unable to provide the child with a conducive environment to grow in.
Personally I feel that your parents should know about this problem. You need to speak to them and see what are their views on this. It is easy for your bf's mother to suggest abortion without much thought because the one who will suffer the most mentally, emotionally and physically is not related to her by blood. But we cannot blame her as her son will surely be the top most priority to her.
With what you have written here, depending on your bf to come to a final decision or even supporting your decision will be difficult. He is still not matured enough to decide for himself and come to a stand.
Going by the fact that both of you are still very young and the emotional state that both of you are in at the moment, coming to a rational decision will be very tough. It takes alot to enter into a lifetime commitment be it marriage or parenthood.
Hence, I hope that you will consider letting your parents know about this and seek their advices and opinions on this issue... and explore the possibility of having parents from both sides to sit down and discuss the next step. If need be... get professional help from counsellors. Don't attempt to solve this all on your own... get support from the people who loves you and who are matured enough to weigh out the options.
Just remember this... at the end of the day there is no right or wrong decision but the best solution you can find in the prevailing circumstances and live with that decision.
I wish you well.
young jes,
i agree wif Odie tt u shld tell yr parents.. r u closest to yr mum/aunt/dad?.. mayb can start by telling the closest one or the one whom u think dotes on u most.. mayb yr family can help u make a better and clearer decision.. talk to yr family ..and also like Odie mentioned, professional helpline also can offers u some comfort and solutions more rationally .. Dun b afraid to tell yr close ones and take all the burden on yrself as u have the right to b happy too ya..
I feel sad for u.. I think yr bf very immature. He sure can't make it .. I think he's more scared than u .. to think he can still b "sleeping" when his mum talking to u abt his matters..very idiotic behaviour..
sorry.. but I think u r very brave .. at least u face the problem straight in the face ..
I'm sure u'll eventually sort out a solution for this matter.. b it yr family can't bear this bb and they willing to accept him/her and raise up together wif u OR they feel u shldn't b burden by such heavy worldly task at such a bubbly age where u can have most fun and decide to end it.. neh mind.. take it as a lesson earned and move on happily.. I'm sure u'll craved out a better path for yrself.. as it's yr life and only u can make the best out of it.. it may b a test fm God..
no matter wat u decided, dun look back.. move on and live a better life.. we won't let other ppl see us dead one.. Cheer up.. the End of one thing is the Beginning of another better thing..
and.. for yr health.. rest more.. u've had a tough battle and u deserve a good rest..
Take care of yr health ya.. Tmr will b better!!!
i agree wif Odie tt u shld tell yr parents.. r u closest to yr mum/aunt/dad?.. mayb can start by telling the closest one or the one whom u think dotes on u most.. mayb yr family can help u make a better and clearer decision.. talk to yr family ..and also like Odie mentioned, professional helpline also can offers u some comfort and solutions more rationally .. Dun b afraid to tell yr close ones and take all the burden on yrself as u have the right to b happy too ya..
I feel sad for u.. I think yr bf very immature. He sure can't make it .. I think he's more scared than u .. to think he can still b "sleeping" when his mum talking to u abt his matters..very idiotic behaviour..
I'm sure u'll eventually sort out a solution for this matter.. b it yr family can't bear this bb and they willing to accept him/her and raise up together wif u OR they feel u shldn't b burden by such heavy worldly task at such a bubbly age where u can have most fun and decide to end it.. neh mind.. take it as a lesson earned and move on happily.. I'm sure u'll craved out a better path for yrself.. as it's yr life and only u can make the best out of it.. it may b a test fm God..
no matter wat u decided, dun look back.. move on and live a better life.. we won't let other ppl see us dead one.. Cheer up.. the End of one thing is the Beginning of another better thing..
and.. for yr health.. rest more.. u've had a tough battle and u deserve a good rest..
blueangel30
New Member
Youngjes,
I agree with Cubbie tat ur BF is jus running away from the problem. He's mum is very bad in 'forcing' u to abort the baby. Pardon me for being frank, but I think the guy and his mum are bith running away from this responsiblities.At this point, it's meaningless if u force the guy the accept this baby. Of course its not right to encourage an abortion, but sometimes its better than bringing the baby into this world and remind u of the past. I suggest u let ur parents know abt it. In a way it's respecting ur parents and remember ur mum gave brith to u, u cannot jus do anything u like to ur body. Even if ur parents were to flare up, it'll only be for a while.They will ultimately give u the support u need Trust me, u'll find this route easier with the support from ur closest kin. Meanwhile take care of ur health and wish u all the best!
I agree with Cubbie tat ur BF is jus running away from the problem. He's mum is very bad in 'forcing' u to abort the baby. Pardon me for being frank, but I think the guy and his mum are bith running away from this responsiblities.At this point, it's meaningless if u force the guy the accept this baby. Of course its not right to encourage an abortion, but sometimes its better than bringing the baby into this world and remind u of the past. I suggest u let ur parents know abt it. In a way it's respecting ur parents and remember ur mum gave brith to u, u cannot jus do anything u like to ur body. Even if ur parents were to flare up, it'll only be for a while.They will ultimately give u the support u need Trust me, u'll find this route easier with the support from ur closest kin. Meanwhile take care of ur health and wish u all the best!
Hi all,
His dad came to know about this problem and what his wife told me. He felt that she is wrong in the way she spoke to me. This morning, he told my bf that he can get married and stay at his house. They can try to help us take care of the baby. He also say that he will give us some financial help if he wants to move out in a few years time.
However, i do not wish to move into my bf's house and live with his mother. I'm afraid that she will ill-treat me and my baby. I suggested moving to my house after marriage, but my bf disagree. I'm at my wits end now.
My mum's birthday is coming soon, on 2nd April. I dont wish to upset her before her birthday. I hope that she can enjoy her birthday this year. Therefore, i intend to let her know about my situation after her birthday. Will it be too late?
His dad came to know about this problem and what his wife told me. He felt that she is wrong in the way she spoke to me. This morning, he told my bf that he can get married and stay at his house. They can try to help us take care of the baby. He also say that he will give us some financial help if he wants to move out in a few years time.
However, i do not wish to move into my bf's house and live with his mother. I'm afraid that she will ill-treat me and my baby. I suggested moving to my house after marriage, but my bf disagree. I'm at my wits end now.
My mum's birthday is coming soon, on 2nd April. I dont wish to upset her before her birthday. I hope that she can enjoy her birthday this year. Therefore, i intend to let her know about my situation after her birthday. Will it be too late?
young jes,
So glad tt his dad is such a humane figure in the family .. U better discuss abt the marriage matters wif yr family first as I think the matter of who shifting to who's hse is not the prob yet.. the main concern is now yr family.. how they r taking it..Hope all goes well for u eventually...
2nd April is not any late yah.. btw, i think u've mentioned yr bf is still schooling rite? how abt u?
So glad tt his dad is such a humane figure in the family .. U better discuss abt the marriage matters wif yr family first as I think the matter of who shifting to who's hse is not the prob yet.. the main concern is now yr family.. how they r taking it..Hope all goes well for u eventually...
2nd April is not any late yah.. btw, i think u've mentioned yr bf is still schooling rite? how abt u?
blueangel30
New Member
Young jas,
so happy for u at least his dad is pretty understanding. Well, I think regarding the issue of where to stay is not a problem now cos at least u can get married and have the baby...I hope ur BF is doing it willingly...this is very important
I dun think it's a good idea to ask ur BF to stay with ur family....What I suggest is get married first and stay with ur 'in-laws' for the time being. U can always find a job and dun have to stay home whole day facing his mum. When bb is born, u can leave baby with ur mum and still continue working. This way u will have less conflict with his mum as u are not at home the whole day.
When u and ur BF (husband to be) have some savings, can afford a place, then u apply for ur own flat .
What u need to do now is to talk to ur family. I'm sure they will give u their blessings1 All the best!
so happy for u at least his dad is pretty understanding. Well, I think regarding the issue of where to stay is not a problem now cos at least u can get married and have the baby...I hope ur BF is doing it willingly...this is very important
I dun think it's a good idea to ask ur BF to stay with ur family....What I suggest is get married first and stay with ur 'in-laws' for the time being. U can always find a job and dun have to stay home whole day facing his mum. When bb is born, u can leave baby with ur mum and still continue working. This way u will have less conflict with his mum as u are not at home the whole day.
When u and ur BF (husband to be) have some savings, can afford a place, then u apply for ur own flat .
What u need to do now is to talk to ur family. I'm sure they will give u their blessings1 All the best!
Jes... the problem you need to resolve now is the baby. Whether you can get along with your mother-in-law is secondary. Don't worry about something that may not even come your way. If you should really have major problems with your mother-in-law... deal with it when it really happens.
Just remember this... as there are cases of DIL not being able to stand her MIL... there are also cases of DIL getting along with her MIL.
Just remember this... as there are cases of DIL not being able to stand her MIL... there are also cases of DIL getting along with her MIL.
Young jes,
I am very glad his daddy is against abortion. So is your bf willing to get married?
Your situation is about the same as my sister. However, her bf now husband is very willing to get married even though he does not have any stable job. Also, her mil actually told her to abort the baby when she is preggie. However, she decided to keep the baby. Now my niece is going to be 6mths old liao. Sad to say is that her mil doesn't really dote on my niece lor. She also dun help to take care of her granddaughter. They are staying together.
What i am trying to say is that, when the conflicts come just try to solve it or close one eyes. If your future mil really so bad, then i guess you might have to approach your mother to help looking after your child.
I am very glad his daddy is against abortion. So is your bf willing to get married?
Your situation is about the same as my sister. However, her bf now husband is very willing to get married even though he does not have any stable job. Also, her mil actually told her to abort the baby when she is preggie. However, she decided to keep the baby. Now my niece is going to be 6mths old liao. Sad to say is that her mil doesn't really dote on my niece lor. She also dun help to take care of her granddaughter. They are staying together.
What i am trying to say is that, when the conflicts come just try to solve it or close one eyes. If your future mil really so bad, then i guess you might have to approach your mother to help looking after your child.
Young jes,
I am very glad his daddy is against abortion. So is your bf willing to get married?
Your situation is about the same as my sister. However, her bf now husband is very willing to get married even though he does not have any stable job. Also, her mil actually told her to abort the baby when she is preggie. However, she decided to keep the baby. Now my niece is going to be 6mths old liao. Sad to say is that her mil doesn't really dote on my niece lor. I can say she prefer boy.She also dun help to take care of her granddaughter. They are staying together.
What i am trying to say is that, when the conflicts come just try to solve it or close one eyes. If your future mil really so bad, then i guess you might have to approach your mother to help looking after your child.
I am very glad his daddy is against abortion. So is your bf willing to get married?
Your situation is about the same as my sister. However, her bf now husband is very willing to get married even though he does not have any stable job. Also, her mil actually told her to abort the baby when she is preggie. However, she decided to keep the baby. Now my niece is going to be 6mths old liao. Sad to say is that her mil doesn't really dote on my niece lor. I can say she prefer boy.She also dun help to take care of her granddaughter. They are staying together.
What i am trying to say is that, when the conflicts come just try to solve it or close one eyes. If your future mil really so bad, then i guess you might have to approach your mother to help looking after your child.
stupidc0ww
New Member
Young jes,
You are lucky that your bf's dad is not as bad as his wife. when I was in ur situation, my bf's now husband mum, dad, grandparents all against our marriage giving reasons somehow the same reason as your bf's mum. At that time they really make me feel like they are tryin to protect their son, afraid that he will regret after marriage. He also said that he has no money to get married but we ended up getting married after I say I pay for all my medical expenses myself. It really makes me feel that our marriage is like a treaty, an agreement. Your situation is still not that bad. Your bf may be sleeping is either he's trying to ignore the problem as long as he could or he already made up his mind marring you regardless his parents approve or reject that's y he's so relax.
You are lucky that your bf's dad is not as bad as his wife. when I was in ur situation, my bf's now husband mum, dad, grandparents all against our marriage giving reasons somehow the same reason as your bf's mum. At that time they really make me feel like they are tryin to protect their son, afraid that he will regret after marriage. He also said that he has no money to get married but we ended up getting married after I say I pay for all my medical expenses myself. It really makes me feel that our marriage is like a treaty, an agreement. Your situation is still not that bad. Your bf may be sleeping is either he's trying to ignore the problem as long as he could or he already made up his mind marring you regardless his parents approve or reject that's y he's so relax.
aquarius_888
Active Member
Hi angrymum
I think its pretty normal to feel that way but for my case is becos of lots of unhappy incidents with my MIL. I wont be saying anything here but do spend more time with your girl when you are not working in order to make up for the lost time you spend working during the day.
Hi youngjes
I wish you all the best whatever your final decision may be.
I think its pretty normal to feel that way but for my case is becos of lots of unhappy incidents with my MIL. I wont be saying anything here but do spend more time with your girl when you are not working in order to make up for the lost time you spend working during the day.
Hi youngjes
I wish you all the best whatever your final decision may be.
I'm glad that his father is more understanding den his mum. I'm going to find a chance to let my parents know. Hope they can give me all the support i need.
I dunno if i've made the right choice in keeping this baby. I dun wish to kill this baby, but i dun really wish to get married either. I used to think that marriage is a beautiful thing. But now, i feel that it wasnt as beautiful as i thought it was.
I'm not even sure if i really wan to marry my bf. I'm not sure if he is 'the one'. All these while, i feel that i'm the only one fighting this battle. He wasnt here to fight this battle with me. I feel that he was more like an audience. Watching me fight this battle. How can i depend on him to take care of me and my baby?
Yet, sad to say, i dun have any other choice. I cant choose to be a single mum. Coz i have to work to feed me and my baby. While i'm working, there will be no one to help me take care of my baby. My mum has to work, there is no way she can quit her job to help me take care of my baby.
Think the only thing i can do now is to let my parents help me out of this mess, and give me all the support i need.
I dunno if i've made the right choice in keeping this baby. I dun wish to kill this baby, but i dun really wish to get married either. I used to think that marriage is a beautiful thing. But now, i feel that it wasnt as beautiful as i thought it was.
I'm not even sure if i really wan to marry my bf. I'm not sure if he is 'the one'. All these while, i feel that i'm the only one fighting this battle. He wasnt here to fight this battle with me. I feel that he was more like an audience. Watching me fight this battle. How can i depend on him to take care of me and my baby?
Yet, sad to say, i dun have any other choice. I cant choose to be a single mum. Coz i have to work to feed me and my baby. While i'm working, there will be no one to help me take care of my baby. My mum has to work, there is no way she can quit her job to help me take care of my baby.
Think the only thing i can do now is to let my parents help me out of this mess, and give me all the support i need.
