who take care of ur toddler if u are sick? urgently need advice

[htks]

Hi mummies,

I'm running a fever at 40°C (last took temperature at 845pm) & feeling giddy too. I'm not sure what's the reason; can be due to the weather, my baby (who just recovered from fever) passed the virus to me, lack of sleep (cos my girl woke up & play for a few hours in the middle of the night for past few days), my girl still need 1-2 night feed etc.

I'm a sahm w no maid, no in laws, no parents to help to look after my girl at night n my hubby has to work tomorrow. I'm sleeping w my girl while my hubby is sleep in another room.

I've the following concerns:
- I don't think fever is contagious but I'm scare I'll pass the virus to her n she just recovered from a fever
- I'm worry I'll faint while carrying her after night feed or if she wana wake up n play in the middle of the night
- I took some off the shelf medicine, hopefully it works. But if I don't get enough sleep or water tonight, my fever may get worse

Under such circumstances, what can I do? Desperate!!!

 

[Vanessa Chan]

htks i think you should wake you hub up and go to a 24hour clinic!
40 degree is not a joke, some more what if tomorrow he went to work and you are alone at home with your kid?!!!
i know you want him to rest as he need to work the next day, but if you cant take care of yourself how are you going to take care of both of them?

 

[htks]

I asked my hubby if he can look after our girl for tonight but he said tomorrow is a heavy day at work n he can't afford to be sick or lack of sleep. He's working part time hence if he's sick, there's no mc which oso mean no income. Financially, we r very tight.

 

[Belinda Tee]

I asked my hubby if he can look after our girl for tonight but he said tomorrow is a heavy day at work n he can't afford to be sick or lack of sleep. He's working part time hence if he's sick, there's no mc which oso mean no income. Financially, we r very tight.

htks i know u're worry about him getting sick too do you have any relative staying near u? i agree with vanessa, u should take care of yourself if not how are u going to take care of your kid and hub?
with such a high fever i think you better sponge urself..

 

[htks]

Woke up at 2am cos stomachache n saw hubby is surfing net. Disappointed with him. He rather surf net till wee hours n no help me take care of our girl for just 1 night.

 

[rykgirl]

Hi,
Does your HB have childcare leave? Maybe he can take?

If not, the other solution is maybe can put your child in those 1day emergency care in infantcare/childcare just so u can take med and sleep at home during the day? Then get your hb to send/pick up from the infantcare/childcare center..

Sleep is very important in recovery.. I'm a SAHM with no help also.. And I will do anything to get the sleep I need esp when I am sick.. Sleep will always make everything better..

 

[moorspa7]

Htks,

You do not need to ask yr hubby if he can help you. He has to help you because you are having high fever. How can he hv time to surf net in the wee hours when you are sick? Really can't stand inconsiderate men. Do not give him a choice whether he can help you, he has to help you. You are the mother of his child, you are his wife. You deserve to be cared for. It is better for him to take a day off to help you so that you can have a good sleep and recover quickly, then to let the sickness drag which is even worse. Your health will be compromised when it takes a longer time to recover.

I am a sahm too, and I hv been through this once without help. I try to get as much sleep as possible cos I could not get any help and my husband was not able to take leave, and my mum was helping my sis. Do the chores when you are recovered, for the time being, focus on sleep. Sleep when yr baby sleeps. The more sleep you get, the faster you recover. Get your husband to buy food when he comes back. You can cook simple porridge for yrself, that's what I did. Use a timer to remind yrself otherwise, the food might get burnt while you are resting. Sleep and eat well, and you will recover. After you hv recovered, continue to take care of yrself as you will be weak after the sickness esp you just gave birth not long ago. Take care.

 

[Belinda Tee]

Woke up at 2am cos stomachache n saw hubby is surfing net. Disappointed with him. He rather surf net till wee hours n no help me take care of our girl for just 1 night.

r u any better today?
have u visit a doc?

 

[htks]

Thanks for all the advice and concerns. I'm feeling better after taking some off the shelf medicine. I find more concerns from the forum than from my hubby. Sad.

 

[moorspa7]

Hi htks,

Glad to know you are better now. I feel the same way you do. Cheer up and jia you cos yr baby needs you. When you do so much that yr husband think you are capable of doing it alone, he will definitely take you for granted. I am speaking from experience. Sometimes, you hv to be a bit needy. Don't ever let yr husband take you for granted or not respect/care abt you. Communication is important. You can always post in the forum when u need someone to talk to.

 

[frog]

I am glad to know that you are better. For parents, support group is very important. There are support group in forums, but it is also crucial for everyone (regardlesss of age group and status - FTWM, SAHM, retirees, etc) to make time to build the real relationships - with neighbors, especially. In Chinese there is a saying, the water from afar cannot help with the fire nearby! And you are lucky because you are a SAHM, have more time to take note of your surroundings and you spend more time in the neighborhood.

Start by greeting the neighbours, people you see at the playground, etc. After a while, these become short conversations. At some point, when you see something that you can help with, offer to help. E.g. offer to let a neighbor's kid goto your house for lunch, babysit for a short time, help with marketing, sending porridge to a sick neighbor, etc. All these helps to build up relationships. And then one day, if you really have emergency, you know you can ask a neighbor "can you help take care of my baby today, I am so sick!".... (A neighbor asked me this once - I ended up spending the whole day at her place, babysitting, cleaning up, cooking lunch and dinner.... ) They are likely to do that, and you might be surprised to see them showing up with porridge or checking on you!

Most people are kind in nature - as you can see is the case with the mommies in this forum. Just make sure not to abuse the trust and relationship!

As to your husband... well... if I were in your shoes I would just "DUMP" the baby on him and declare "Congratulations, you are a father". Then go find the bed and totally refuse to get up until morning!