What will you do if you feel your husband place you last in his priority ?

[mintball]

Hi

Just wanna find out what will you do if you feel your husband place you the last one in his heart ? Will you also put him the last on your priority ?

He works late Mon to Sat, then Sun he only want to go back his mother place. Even his wife is having high fever, he also brings the kids back to his mother's place and leave the sick wife to rest alone at home....

If Sunday he can't make it back to his mother's place, he will make it up going back during the weekdays. But he nvr make it up to his wife and children when he can't celebrate their birthdays or he can't go home for dinner due to work.

So, his work is 1st, his mother 2nd, his kids and wife is last. What should i advise the wife to do ? Feel sorry for those with workaholic husbands who is always not at home...

 

[pooh3bear]

same... my hb place his work first, then his motor bike then me and my boy. we only got a kid. most of the times, he is always home late.

i have voice out so many times, but also not much different.

lucky thing is im working too, so i channel my attn to my boy n work... but sometimes, will still feel upset and lonely coz he was always not ard to spend time with us....

 

[mehui]

Hi mintball,

Are u able to talk things through with him (eg. how you feel)?

 

[mikki_liew]

u should really bring this up to him so as not to misunderstand.

 

[shoppixe]

I made it a point when we were courting. Told him straight that I cannot a accept a workaholic, someone who places work above family. I am working as well and too often, what you give to the company is not rewarded in equal so what's the point?
It would be better to invest in a family that has more returns long term.
One day, I told him "You can change your job tomorrow, will you change your family tomorrow? You need to figure out which is more important to you." Sometimes they need a reminder. Men naturally would invest time at work because they enjoy the empowerment/authority there, feeds their ego & self worth.
Things are better, as when he was single he spends all his time at work. Since we are together, he makes it a point to be back and spend time go out.
I also make it a point to say "I am so happy we are spending time like this" *muacks* Make him feel good also ma~~~ =)

 

[sweetevil]

Eh best to trash things out.. all the best

 

[mehui]

How's things with you, mintball?

 

[avocado]

hi mintball,
i face the similiar situation b4.To make things worse,I've had 4 miscarriages,and badly need my hb companionship.Yet,his "sticky" parents couldn't understand n kept making my hb going bk to them n ran all the stupid errands.

It wasn't easy...I once thot of divorce,cold war wf my hb for months....To the extend tat i've not contacted my inlaws for 2yrs...I told myself:I've had enough! Gave my hb final decision,whether he wants us(me n my son) or his work or parents.

I took over all the cookings,my son...i take care of everything...even sick i oso do housework/cooking/take care my son..Yes,no help from inlaws,coz they expect returns when they help.Though I am tired,I am happy..Get rid of all the family politics....

Now,things get improved...told my hb stop being a mummy's son...he is oredi 40s plus,time to grow up n stop being a crying baby looking for mummy for milk.

Sometx,told myself if issues cannot come back,i'll migrate.

 

[avocado]

another way..go out with ur friends...make him feel he is not needed...I did that sometimes...

Plan for a holidays...create memories..that were what i did....Make him feel that it is enjoyable to go out with us than working.

if he can't go,u go! Let him feel the emptiness of the house when he gets home...

sometx,we can't teach a person,he/she has to learn himself.

 

[smallstrawberryshortcake]

I think it's better for a hubby to be a workaholic (earning money for the family) than a computer/games addict. Come home early and then get stuck on games. That is even worse. So count your blessings!

And yes, being a computer/games addict is better than someone who stay out and womanize. So I'm learning to count my blessings as well. -___-

 

[courage]

Well said Strawberri

 

[sane]

Seriously, I will opt to have my own life as well, my career, my own circle of friends, my family and not only to revolve my life ard him.

My hb noe that he is of impt to me but not standing 100% of my life.

If he is occupied of his activities, I will find my own too.