Support group - Miscarriages

Hi everyone, I'm rather new to sgmotherhood. I just went through a D&C or evacuation of the uterus yesterday. Baby was supposed to be at 10 weeks already but after many opinions and scans, was still unable to detect fetal and heart beat.

I must say I was devastated and cried really badly the night before the procedure. Now that everything is over, on a long mc, wanted to hear from mums that had the same experience. =)
 


Luckystarlets,
Big hugs!! I lost my bb at 10 weeks too.
Believe everyone here able understand ur pain.
Crying is a part of recovery stage, go ahead n let out ur emotion. It actually took me ard 3 mth to get over the grieve. Then slowly I realize I shd cherish the one beside me, then clinging on our baby which already resting in heaven. Soon u will get over ur sorrow, give urself time to heal.

Meantime do a mini confirement. Drink red date/longen drink n avoid any cold water n food. Best to see a tcm to tiao back ur body asap. Big hug!!
 
luckystarlets,

Hugs~~
Please take care of urself. Anyone cooking for u? Or u order confinement food? Now the most important thing is ur health. Rest at home but find something to do to distract urself. Put ur focus away from the sadness.
 
Hi Celestine and Princessleopard

Thank you so much for the encouragement. Yup, I temporary move over to my mum's place. She is making me do mini confinement.

I hope in time will get over it. Just a little worried about work as well, been away for almost 2 weeks of bedrest as gynae wanted to see if there's improvement. Now, after OP was given 17 days hospitalization mc. Gosh...
 
Luckystarlet,
2 weeks MC is expected wor.
Glad that u have someone helping u.
For time being, first focus on recovering ur health. Nothing is more imp then that. That time nobody help me out, so my confirement was done roughy. Now realize my body need more time for recovery. Jiayou!
 
luckystarlet....

i understand how you feel..... it has been one month and i am still very very sad..... please cry if you need to, crying really helps...

drink longan red date tea everyday....
and wear socks to sleep ......
take good care of your health and you can ttc again !!!! Hugs ~
 
Thanks jhw. I will do what you advise. Are you all given so long a hospitalization leave as well?

Really worried about work, but at the same time, I know I am not in the mental state to work yet.. Haiz
 
luckystarlets,

I also took about a month mc. But work was the last thing I had in mind. I used to be workaholic but after the mc, I changed. Now family is the most important to me.
 
Yah... at our childbearing age, nothing is more important than forming our lovely family isn't it?

We all can do it! We must believe in it!
 
luckystarlets

don't worry about work... Health is more important.. i used to worry about work even when i am on holiday... ever since i miscarriage, i lost all my passion for work suddenly.... i just want to go home on the dot everyday and enjoy family life.... if i can afford, i think i can even Quit my job now and full time TTC-ing at home... but cannot afford....

other than drink longan red date drink everyday, remember to drink DOM everynight during dinner time too... good for our confinement, especially if you are not free to do confinement.... my pantry auntie also advise me to drink Chicken essence every morning, i just started drinking..... Oh ya... my TCM teach me to Cook Ba Zhen Soup with DOM, you may try this recipe too....
 
Jhw,
Dun mind share the recipe with me?
That day she also recommend me to take it but I no idea how to boil n forgot to ask her. =P
 
Celest, i go chinese medical hall ask for ba zhen, they will give u one set of ba zhen (depending on how many sets u want to buy at one go). One set can drink one time. My mum throw every ingredients in that set into a small slow cooker and brew with water for whole night... we just put the amount of water as we wish..... alternatively u can ask medical hall uncle how much water needed .... brew overnight and drink the next day dinner..... one hour before i drink, i pour dom into it and continue boiling..... dr su say u can choose to add chicken when u brew the soup but i usually never put....
 
Courgeours81,
Thank you for your encouragement. Congratulation to you. You are so luckily to have conceived so quickly.

Luckystarlets,
Sorry to hear that. Hugs hugs
I’m with you. Can understand how your feel and the pain that you went through.
I was devastated too. Can’t believe that a life that has been given to me can suddenly end and taken away from me. But as time goes by, I learn to be stronger and tell myself that my baby boy is with God up there. My girl will have another sibling soon. You will get stronger each day and will gradually overcome it.
Meanwhile like all have advised, do a mini confinement and take good care of your body.
It is good that you have someone there to jia-ga you. I’ve to do it myself and continue to “serve” my family.
Don’t worry about work now. Recuperate first. I was once a workaholic before marriage but now I’m a SAHM. I’ve given up my career for my family but I enjoyed every moment of it. Work can wait but your health, your life can’t. Previously, I thought I was very important in my organization. I got worried even when I tendered my resignation but I realized that I was wrong. I was dispensable. The flow continued even if I wasn’t there. So sad
sad.gif
……
So jia you ! Take this period to have a good rest.

jhw,
Can you share the recipe of Ba-zhen with DOM? I managed to get one bottle from SG.
happy.gif


For those who take DOM daily, do you drink straight or mix with water? How much DOM to drink?
 
Celest, i go chinese medical hall ask for ba zhen, they will give u one set of ba zhen (depending on how many sets u want to buy at one go). One set can drink one time. My mum throw every ingredients in that set into a small slow cooker and brew with water for whole night... we just put the amount of water as we wish..... alternatively u can ask medical hall uncle how much water needed .... brew overnight and drink the next day dinner..... one hour before i drink, i pour dom into it and continue boiling..... dr su say u can choose to add chicken when u brew the soup but i usually never put....
 
jhw,
Thanks for sharing. How much DOM you add?
Btw, my mom told me that MUST drink Ba-zhen while it’s warm. Will get wind wor if cold. I also brew and drink it the same night. Just follow instruction…
 
Sorry i dunno why send a second time..
I forgot to mention that the amount of dom is just to fill the dom bottle cap to the full brink.
Drink once a week.
One set ba zhen cost between 5 - 10 dollars
 
Hi luckystarlets,

Like what the others say... take care of yourself now. We understand the pain & agony. Be positive. I did my evacuation exactly a week ago from today. Have to believe time is not wrong for my husband & I to have a baby of our own.

I am going back for my follow up w doc coming Monday. Doing a histology & see what is the outcome. But doc reminded me it is not fact-finding of why i had a MC.
 
Hi Minnieluv and QQ_123

Thanks for the encouragement. I will pick my heart up again. Yesterday night before I sleep, I wrote a diary about my baby. Though it is a short two months, it has been a wonderful journey. Just a little secret, this baby went with us to our honeymoon!

I guess by writing, I acknowledge my baby's existence and try to move on from there. =)

QQ_123, are you also on hospitalization leave? How are you coping? Hugs.
 
Luckystarlets,

Yes, I'm on 2 weeks hospitalization leave. I'm coping fine. I found peace after visiting the Guanyin temple at Bugis. That's just my way of seeking closure.

When I see preggie ladies' tummies, I wonder if they know how lucky they are to have a smooth pregnancy & healthy baby. Lots of friends on fb delivering this year too. Well, just have to believe my time will come (fingers cross!).

In the meantime, will look after my body & spend couplehood time with husband.
 
Luckystarlets
I wrote a blog about my baby too hehe, but all about sad things….. maybe I should write happy things too.
Same as you , I just want to acknowledge about his existence.
In future when people ask, I will count him as my kid too
I am still looking for “forget-me-not” seeds and want to plant in memory of him.
So nice, you “brought” him along for honeymoon
For me, I moved in to the new house with “my baby” and stayed overnight there….
It is already considered his home……
Now you mention, indeed, there were so much happy memories in the sweet two months we shared with our babies that we have to write it down !!!!

Princess,
Yes, dr su said we can drink DOM everynight
But I forget to ask her whether it includes O day and AF days …. I will ask her tomorrow.

QQ,
did you chao du your baby?
i intend to do that for coming ritual in Ju Shi Lin
 
QQ,

Yup, I am looking to spend couplehood with my husband too. =) I told him, when I was preg, I felt that I was double married, married to hubby and married to baby. Now I told him, I feel a little single. Then he went 'huh'

Jhw,
Yup write happy thoughts! Oh, my mum also going Ju Lin Shi to chao du, ten years back, my mum actually aborted a baby due to her age, so she is thinking to go this lunar July.
 
Thanks jhw! I am going to chao du my baby too this lunar july. But not in sg. Cos my fengshui master usually tie up with penang, so with little amount of money can do a grander ritual. Have been waiting for lunar july to come so badly, wanted to do something for him to let him go peaceful.
 
Jhw, thanks for sharing! Will start drinking once I'm back.
The slow cooker, u switch to auto mode?

Just went to see Dr Su, before I go for hoilday.
Told her what happen to my AF. She feel my pulse n say I'm not pregnant, just that my womb too weak to push my period out. Saying even I conceive, I might not able hold full term. My heart sinks. She encourage me by exercise n eat right, continue her medicine n I will conceive soon. She say her patient also almost same as mine.She tell her continue to eat medicine n now she already pregnant.

Just dun give up. Jiayou celest!!
 
Princess !!
ya Same Sentiments !!! I can’t wait for Lunar 7th Month to come… because I want to Chao du my baby in the Ju Shi Lin Temple.
I want a closure so badly… until now, I still cannot move on like that…. I want to tell my baby personally, Please come back to be my baby again !!!

Luckystarlet,
that means your mum is going for the same fa hui as me…..
Dr Su is good….. There are many reviews online about her….
If u interested, we can share her address and consultation hours with U

Celest,
Don’t give up !!
I know a couple TTC for 2 years no news.
After Seeing her, 2 months of medication and Strike !!!
I am very sure TCM can help all of us.
She also told me I do not have enough Qi… so I cannot hold BB to full term even if I preggy now….. So I told myself Must be determine and visit her every week.

QQ,
There is a “Fa Hui” in Ju Shi Lin for this Coming 7th Month.
U can google Singapore Buddhist Lodge and get the Address.
From Now until First day of 7th Month, U can go to this Temple to register for Chao du for your Baby.
Cost is $30 only.
 
Luckystarlet,
It was my 3 visit, so can't tell u much abt the result.
Lot of ladies went to her n got good news.

From me, she good at feeling our pulse. She can tell ache from my body just by feeling my pulse. I dun need to open my mouth at all. Today she also feel that I have backache n headache. Oh.. She will see ur hubby too. If any problem, she will give medicine to hubby as well. She even know my hubby keep drink liang tea n rubbish food, she warn him not to take it anymore. My hubby was in shock, cos he never told her. Haha!
 
Jhw,
Thanks lot!
I really need lot of positive enegry now.
Sorry to say that, I'm glad I'm not the only one suffering. Over here we can support each other. Believe she can help me too. I told her we try to concieve more then 2 year but end up mc. I'm scare of waiting for another 2 years. She told me, I dun need to wait that long. As long stay positive n continue taking her medicine. It does give me the boost.
 
I believe all of us are fertile, but somewhere in our body screw loose like ikea furniture like that... dr su help to screw that part tightly so we can hold our baby inside. Dun worry.....
Oh ya i forget to reply u.... yes i switch the slow cooker to automode after boil for whole night
 
jhw,

I am not sure if he can return to be our baby again. cos i rem my fengshui master said every soul have their destined life. Supposely, it has 80 years but cos of some mishap, its life ended earlier. It has to stay in their "atmosphere" till 80 den can reincarnate. So, chao du is a must so that they stay there happily, wont come out disturb ppl.

i am not sure if u knew abt this. My baby came back look for me before. I heard his laughters.
 
Princess, i heard before.... in fact, there seems to be different sayings. Some say will stay by our side. Some say will reincarnate to be our bb again... or be our grandchild in future....some say go to heaven...

When u start hearing his laughters? I really dunno how i would react if i hear.... will i be scared?

I have a fren mc before, her son saw her mc child and even told his mum that gor gor play with him
 
Hello ladies,

Have not been logging in to the thread for a few days... Wow never know that there are so many buddhism in the thread... hee hee....

Chao du is to be done every year or just once?

One of my mum's fren is a middle and he told me yes must do a prayer for the foetus even if he has been with me only for 2 and half months and he will be doing for me. Becos if you dont do after many years, sometimes you will not be so smooth in your life....

First week when I came back to Singapore which is on 26 June, in my room suddenly there is a very strong stench smell at my doorway but when I move towards my bed or wardrobe the smell is not there at all.. i told this to uncle yesterday and he told me if I am not scare next time if I smell again just say mummy will pray to you once I settle my operation......

Yes the foetus even if he is with you for just a while. He is already considered as your child becos 2 weeks ago I went to see a fortune teller as seem like my life is in a mess and lost soul... he told me you have 2 kids and I told him no I have only one son who is 8 and i just did an abortion... he told me that baby also consider your child even though he didnt make it thru... he even told me next round if i got pregnant got to visit him to an tai.
 
Sorry to hear new comers here again *hugs* for you luckystarlets


hey sisters! im back in sunny singapore! But hmm..dunno should i say.. a tad news...im not sure if im really positive...could the hpt test go wrong if you read after say 10minutes? i think i saw a very very very faint 2nd line in the morning prior to my long haul flight! Then this morning i tested there's nothing..strange but hehe i used those cheapo hpt..
 
Luckystarlets,

Just stay positive and cry out if you need to as soon you will get over like most of us here.... although true in your life there is always a scar there but you just hv to move on.....

Like me, I can say I overcome the grief as it has 5 weeks since I lost my baby but when the thought strike you, I will still be sad and my son will ask me mummy are you sad that you lost your baby... I am very sad that I lost the didi or meimei..... but there is nothing we can do..

Ladies,
I will be doing my op on 24/7 and will be on MC for 1 month... Gynae told me he will try to protect as much eggs as possible so that I can conceive asap... I was like huh...dont need to wait for a few months? He said dont need one month can already becos he is afraid the longer I wait the harder I will be able to get my no 3.
 
ChrisL,

Go and buy the most exp one and test. It is really amazing and I was shocked as they can still tell you how many weeks.
 
ling..hmm if you don't mind me asking what op are you doing? I don't understand how come gynae said that he'll protect eggs? can protect the eggs one meh? *scratch head*
 
ChrisL,

I have 2 cysts in my ovary. One on the right and one on the left... they are quite big and might affect or stick with the eggs so when the gynae cut me he will see and protect as much eggs as possible...
 
jhw,

Within 3 mths after mc. Luckily the master already pre-m me, or else I may freak out. Isnt it weird that we yearn for bb for much but now after the mc, when he came back, we kinda scared? Anyway, after that I did dian deng first cos lunar july too far away, master say cannot wait, must pacify him first.

Ling, my master say its done every year.

Chrisl, welcome back!!!
 
Hi ChrisL and Ling

Thanks for the encouragement. ChrisL quick! Go buy the Clearblue digital Pregnancy kit. All the best! Will be very happy to hear your good news!

Ling, Jia you for your OP. You can do it.
 
jhw - Thanks. I will go google & check it out on the ritual.

Princess - Is the dian deng at the same place as the chao du?

It sounds sad if bb has to linger around for 80 years.

Ling - all the best & take care.

Btw - if to visit Dr Su, it is better to do it after the 2 weeks mini-confinement?

Everyone, all the best.
 
QQ,

No dian deng do it in sg cos its urgent since bb came to look for me. chao du will be done in penang, if not free, can dun go de. master will handle everything. 80 years is just a example. It depends on how long he was supposed to live. But this is just one of the sayings.
 
luckystarlets,
Sorry to hear about your loss. Hugs.

ChrisL,
Quick go buy a better one and test, we waiting to hear your good news!

Ling,
All the best for your op.

We did Chao du every year my 1st bb since 2008 and will be doing so for my 3rd bb.
 

Qq,
U can visit dr su anytime, no need to wait.
as for chao du, U can just go straight to singapore buddhist lodge to register...the website nv say much except for address.
its $30.

Ling,
All the best and take care!!!!

Princess ,
do u know how can we do dian deng and where?

Chris,
go find a gynae.... congrats!!!!!
 
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