SAHM? or planning to become one?
- Thread starter koms20
- Start date
altho i like the time spent with bb, it drives me nuts when she's in her cranky moods n there's no one to help out. So if u intend to be SAHM, best to rope a relative to drop by 2-3days a week to help out to save your sanity. You will appreciate the extra help on days you aren't feeling well.
Financially it's still manageable on single income, but of coz depends on you & your hb's spending habits. We hardly go fine dining now. Go holiday also plan nearby neighbouring countries. Shopping for ourselves also cut down. Stock up on diapers during sale. If exclusive breastfeed save a lot $$. But if on total FM, can buy cheaper from medical halls.
Financially it's still manageable on single income, but of coz depends on you & your hb's spending habits. We hardly go fine dining now. Go holiday also plan nearby neighbouring countries. Shopping for ourselves also cut down. Stock up on diapers during sale. If exclusive breastfeed save a lot $$. But if on total FM, can buy cheaper from medical halls.
luckystarz
Member
Agreed. Financially it's not that bad ESP if u bf. and when u cook for bb. U can buy abt a week's worth of veg n meat. Then just mix n match when u cook. More imptly must keep telling urself to stay positive, ESP times when bb fall sick then u fall sick, or when bb don't want to sleep. Try to go out once or twice a week to keep ur sanity. Supportive hubby who know when to take his leave to help out at home also impt. I don't really have family or relatives that are able to help me. So hubby support very critical. He also know that whole day I cope at home tend to have crazy thoughts n tend to scold him often. But he just take it in his stride n tell me off whenever I go overboard. It's not easy but worth every step u watch ur child grow up.
yallo
Active Member
Agree with what usaginoko said, that it's best to rope in a relative (or other help) a few days a week. Gives you a break from being the sole caregiver (trust me, you will need one!) and it's also better for the baby to be exposed to different people so he/she doesn't get overly sticky to you. One main challenge I faced during the earlier months was how to settle my lunch everyday (coz I'm a lousy cook), so you might wanna think that through, what kind of arrangement you can make for your meals.
I do think support from your husband is very very important. In terms of supporting your decision to quit your job, and also supporting by helping out to take care of the baby when he's back from work or during weekends. At the very least, both of you need to sit down and talk it through what the roles and responsibility will be if you become a SAHM. Does it mean that everything regarding the house and baby will be your sole responsibility since it's now your "full-time job"?
Oh and if you are able to take no pay leave to "try-out" being a SAHM, I think that's the best!
I do think support from your husband is very very important. In terms of supporting your decision to quit your job, and also supporting by helping out to take care of the baby when he's back from work or during weekends. At the very least, both of you need to sit down and talk it through what the roles and responsibility will be if you become a SAHM. Does it mean that everything regarding the house and baby will be your sole responsibility since it's now your "full-time job"?
Oh and if you are able to take no pay leave to "try-out" being a SAHM, I think that's the best!
yumeumi
Active Member
SAHM but never regret. Of course financially it's not so much as double income source family but the bonding and how your child/children grew up is diff.
Plus u can still enjoy good stuff if you know where to buy and stock up during promo/ warehouse sales/ overseas spree for off season design clothes.
Plus u can still enjoy good stuff if you know where to buy and stock up during promo/ warehouse sales/ overseas spree for off season design clothes.
blueswimmercrab
Member
hi there, but what happens when the kid grows older? would it be very difficult to go back to work? or no plans at all to do that? would the kid compare with ohter working mothers?
yumeumi
Active Member
blueswimmercrab,
when kids older just let go, find ur own life again. Getting back to job is just another decision.
Kids will understand or when they ask, u explain. it's just diff choice n decision made by mums.
Madelene,
nt many of SAHM are rich nor borned rich, we just work things out to make things well while being SAHM.
when kids older just let go, find ur own life again. Getting back to job is just another decision.
Kids will understand or when they ask, u explain. it's just diff choice n decision made by mums.
Madelene,
nt many of SAHM are rich nor borned rich, we just work things out to make things well while being SAHM.
chipsnchops
New Member
I'm a sahm too 
Think we've been so atuned to govt propaganda in school since young. We are so 'taught' to find our self worth and value through our results and work that without these we think we have no worth. When in school, are we ever taught you need to sacrifice for your family? Nah, it's always for ourselves. Family is really by-the-way product of romantic/sexual satisfaction ;P
Life is larger than work, than all the achievement you can attain, than all the praise and evaluation others give you based on your results/earning ability/promotion...
Philosophy aside. It's really fun to be sahm. I don't get those complexes leaving my children at home with others daily. I get to be with them when they are sad, happy, hurt, sick, having fun and all special and ordinary moments
.. It's a real real privilege that I would never trade for all the salaries monthly
Finances
Live within your means. Think the bulk of expenditure in SG is in education. There is no need to send them to enrichment centres when you're at home with them. The long term value of enrichment classes is questionable, but your child benefit in the long run with a stable family with someone for them to return to at home. By the age of 5, they even out with or without enrichment.
Think we've been so atuned to govt propaganda in school since young. We are so 'taught' to find our self worth and value through our results and work that without these we think we have no worth. When in school, are we ever taught you need to sacrifice for your family? Nah, it's always for ourselves. Family is really by-the-way product of romantic/sexual satisfaction ;P
Life is larger than work, than all the achievement you can attain, than all the praise and evaluation others give you based on your results/earning ability/promotion...
Philosophy aside. It's really fun to be sahm. I don't get those complexes leaving my children at home with others daily. I get to be with them when they are sad, happy, hurt, sick, having fun and all special and ordinary moments
Finances
Live within your means. Think the bulk of expenditure in SG is in education. There is no need to send them to enrichment centres when you're at home with them. The long term value of enrichment classes is questionable, but your child benefit in the long run with a stable family with someone for them to return to at home. By the age of 5, they even out with or without enrichment.
blueswimmercrab
Member
Hi fullhouse, is it govt propaganda? My dad said the same stuff to me. And the the teachers in my school were feminists. So they said the same things. Maybe that is why i am feelingtorm all ways. We can only make sure we teach our kids well. I know so,e pple whomfor their daughter fourth birthday made a cake with a chanel bag decoration, jimmy choo shoes decked with tiffany blue icing sugar. Sigh. Dunno how to bring up my kids in today world
i took 1-2 years off work after the birth of each of my 2 kids. this is what my then 9-yo nephew said to my daughter one day: "u so good, you know. your mother is always at home."
it's quite heartwarming to hear comments like that. i went back to work and send my children to childcare after my NPL ends.
i like that my children are close to me and we share a good strong bond.
but it's also true what people say about being at home can drive you nuts.
it's quite heartwarming to hear comments like that. i went back to work and send my children to childcare after my NPL ends.
i like that my children are close to me and we share a good strong bond.
but it's also true what people say about being at home can drive you nuts.
Hi everyone, i have been a SAHM for 9 months now. Really enjoying my time with my baby boy and seeing him grow everyday. But do any of you SAHMs feel like your education and career to date is wasted? Any advice on how to get back into the workforce and restart your career? I worry every day about my skills and knowledge becoming out dated and taken over by cheaper and younger people.
i just gave birth to my boy this feb. during my maternity leave, it almost drove me nuts so i decided that working is the way to go. however now that im back to work, i always think abt my boy. hence i decided that when i have my second one (hope to join 2013 mum thread), i'll become a sahm.
i guess it depends on individual. im not very career minded hence taking a couple of yrs off shouldn't pose a problem for me..
i guess it depends on individual. im not very career minded hence taking a couple of yrs off shouldn't pose a problem for me..
chipsnchops
New Member
blueswimmer crab
same here!! my mum and my mil, both uneducated, love to be called 'working mothers'. they all think it's an honour.
If you carefully think about all we are taught in school, is there ever one that teaches you to be responsible to your family, to take care of your brood, to nurture? It's mostly about fulfilling your potential by working and earning lots of money
Education and work
Think about it this way, if you work and allow others to 'teach' and nurture your children, then wouldn't it be more ironical? It is our job to take care of our own. What is the point of studying so much when it is others who are taking care of our children?
same here!! my mum and my mil, both uneducated, love to be called 'working mothers'. they all think it's an honour.
If you carefully think about all we are taught in school, is there ever one that teaches you to be responsible to your family, to take care of your brood, to nurture? It's mostly about fulfilling your potential by working and earning lots of money
Education and work
Think about it this way, if you work and allow others to 'teach' and nurture your children, then wouldn't it be more ironical? It is our job to take care of our own. What is the point of studying so much when it is others who are taking care of our children?
Hey everyone, glad to find this thread as I am planning to be a SAHM from August and serving my notice now... I am having my no. 2 due in Jan2013. Mainly made this decision for no. 1 who is turning 2 in Sept.. was a really difficult decision but i believe it will be worth it.. in fact i really regret not being SAHM earlier because I feel I've neglected no. 1 and not given her the due time, care, love and most importantly educating her in my own ways.. she was left with mom and maid and had really minimal 'education' until then i began to think about being SAHM..
Im really looking forward to spending more time with the princess and to bring no.2 up in a totally different way!
Im really looking forward to spending more time with the princess and to bring no.2 up in a totally different way!
i agree with Luckystarz & Yallo that hubby support is very important. Everyday I look fwd to evening when hubby's home to take over my duties. And love weekends coz hubby takes care of bb while i can take naps, surf net, eat in peace. Oh, and I insist hubby gives me monthly pocket money on top of household allowance so that I can still shop a bit for myself or save up secret savings. If not, my savings will run out very soon.
I'm not career minded, so I don't mind going back to workforce in future doing a smaller role. My aim is just to have some adult interaction and earn $$$ and yet can go home on time to spend quality time with my child.
Education is to enrich oneself. My parents never felt it's a waste for me to be sahm. In fact they are very supportive of me.
I'm not career minded, so I don't mind going back to workforce in future doing a smaller role. My aim is just to have some adult interaction and earn $$$ and yet can go home on time to spend quality time with my child.
Education is to enrich oneself. My parents never felt it's a waste for me to be sahm. In fact they are very supportive of me.
Hi mummies, just wanna share my 2 cent's worth abt being a SAHM. I officially became jobless 1 year ago. I had to quit my job coz my mum was not physically fit to take care of my #1 and my ILs was not an option. Till today I have no regrets taking that big step. I never saw myself becoming a SAHM at this age. I had planned to become one once my kids go to pri school. But when I think about it, this is indeed the best time to be spending time with my children coz their world revolves around their parents.
It is definitely tough being a SAHM. I came from a job where everything was fast moving and yet I still believe staying home is tougher. It is a 24 hr job. I try to not disturb my hubby when my boy wakes up at night coz my hubby starts work v early due to the nature of his job. To me, these are part and parcel of the sacrifices we mothers have to make. Selfishness is not an option in motherhood. Nw, I am expecting my #2.
Not all SAHMs have rich hubbies. We just make do with what we have and we live realistically within our means. If you are not ready to give up your luxuries, then do think twice before deciding to stay home.
Also, do not keep thinking about what will happen when u decide to return to the workforce etc. coz u will never know what will come up in the future. One thing that I learnt with motherhood is to just take things as they come.
I believe that any woman can go out and work but not all can stay home to nurture their children.
It is definitely tough being a SAHM. I came from a job where everything was fast moving and yet I still believe staying home is tougher. It is a 24 hr job. I try to not disturb my hubby when my boy wakes up at night coz my hubby starts work v early due to the nature of his job. To me, these are part and parcel of the sacrifices we mothers have to make. Selfishness is not an option in motherhood. Nw, I am expecting my #2.
Not all SAHMs have rich hubbies. We just make do with what we have and we live realistically within our means. If you are not ready to give up your luxuries, then do think twice before deciding to stay home.
Also, do not keep thinking about what will happen when u decide to return to the workforce etc. coz u will never know what will come up in the future. One thing that I learnt with motherhood is to just take things as they come.
I believe that any woman can go out and work but not all can stay home to nurture their children.
skinneybeenie
Active Member
Well said sha85. I totally agree with your last sentence especially.
My hubby put it this way for me. He read in a book -
He asked me - What do you do?
(I sulked at him, because I'm a sahm, I don't have a job and when people ask u what do u do, they mean it as a job)
Then he asked me - How do you spend your time?
I said - duh, taking care of the boy (my son)
Now I'm 7m pregnant with my almost 3 year old son. Been a SAHM for almost 2.5 yrs. A journey with lots of ups and downs. But when it's up, it's so high. Just the other day after sending off my son to preschool, I look at all the people rushing to work and I think, how much of their job do they enjoy? I enjoy about 50% of it or more on good days. Do they even enjoy 30% of it or it's just a drag to get through each day?
Now who has the last laugh?
I also agree with the opinion of the SAHMs posted here that we didn't have kids so that others could teach them. We are responsible for them ourselves.
It'd be nice to have a relative to help out every week. Sad or not sad to say, I'm on my own on weekdays (especially when hubby travels) and weekends just me and hubby. Zero family help. We've not had a date since my son was born, unless you count the few times of 2h breakfast we had when he went to school this year.
BUT I know this has made me stronger and the marriage stronger. At least I'm not a part time mum! Seeing your children grow each day and knowing that most of the credit is from yourself - from the first rollover, the first step, the first word, the first toilettraining success, even the first time my toddler talks back at me, I take pride in all his achievements.
And I don't feel the need to compensate him financially with lots of useless stuff and enrichment classes like many working mums feel.
My hubby put it this way for me. He read in a book -
He asked me - What do you do?
(I sulked at him, because I'm a sahm, I don't have a job and when people ask u what do u do, they mean it as a job)
Then he asked me - How do you spend your time?
I said - duh, taking care of the boy (my son)
Now I'm 7m pregnant with my almost 3 year old son. Been a SAHM for almost 2.5 yrs. A journey with lots of ups and downs. But when it's up, it's so high. Just the other day after sending off my son to preschool, I look at all the people rushing to work and I think, how much of their job do they enjoy? I enjoy about 50% of it or more on good days. Do they even enjoy 30% of it or it's just a drag to get through each day?
Now who has the last laugh?
I also agree with the opinion of the SAHMs posted here that we didn't have kids so that others could teach them. We are responsible for them ourselves.
It'd be nice to have a relative to help out every week. Sad or not sad to say, I'm on my own on weekdays (especially when hubby travels) and weekends just me and hubby. Zero family help. We've not had a date since my son was born, unless you count the few times of 2h breakfast we had when he went to school this year.
BUT I know this has made me stronger and the marriage stronger. At least I'm not a part time mum! Seeing your children grow each day and knowing that most of the credit is from yourself - from the first rollover, the first step, the first word, the first toilettraining success, even the first time my toddler talks back at me, I take pride in all his achievements.
And I don't feel the need to compensate him financially with lots of useless stuff and enrichment classes like many working mums feel.
dreamygal
Active Member
Hi everyone,
I'm a SAHM for 4 years plus now. I have a 5 yrs old girl and a 3 years old boy.
Most of the day, by the time the kids sleep, I'm dead tired. I rushed through the day everyday, ferrying them to and from school, prepare meals, housework. Sometimes, I really feel like pulling my own hair, especially when they start arguing.
But at the end of the day, whenever I asked myself if I want to go back to work force, my answer is always - it's not possible now. I can't bare to leave them anymore even tough they are making me angry everyday.
I'm a SAHM for 4 years plus now. I have a 5 yrs old girl and a 3 years old boy.
Most of the day, by the time the kids sleep, I'm dead tired. I rushed through the day everyday, ferrying them to and from school, prepare meals, housework. Sometimes, I really feel like pulling my own hair, especially when they start arguing.
But at the end of the day, whenever I asked myself if I want to go back to work force, my answer is always - it's not possible now. I can't bare to leave them anymore even tough they are making me angry everyday.
Thanks mummies for sharing your thoughts... really encouraged me that my decision is a right one and I need to look beyond what pple say/ think or even those times when I feel sad about not having a career, extra $$$....
As I read some of those baking/ cooking blogs of SAHM, I'm always very encouraged! I wonder if there is a mummies group for SAHM where they meet and share tips of life, or just meet up to maybe share recipes!
As I read some of those baking/ cooking blogs of SAHM, I'm always very encouraged! I wonder if there is a mummies group for SAHM where they meet and share tips of life, or just meet up to maybe share recipes!
I agree with skinneybeenie's last para. Although I have been told many times to put my child in one class or another so that he doesn't 'lose out', I honestly believe my child is gaining so much more by having one-on-one interaction with me at home.
PinkDice: u will definitely have pple with loads of nasty things to say abt being a SAHM. Just learn to close your ears and ignore them. Ultimately it's you who are responsible for your child's upbringing. I used to get very affected by ppl asking me why am I not working although I still am young. These days I just tell them staying home and nurturing my child itself is a job. They usually keep quiet aft that
PinkDice: u will definitely have pple with loads of nasty things to say abt being a SAHM. Just learn to close your ears and ignore them. Ultimately it's you who are responsible for your child's upbringing. I used to get very affected by ppl asking me why am I not working although I still am young. These days I just tell them staying home and nurturing my child itself is a job. They usually keep quiet aft that
enitsuj1104
Member
PinkDice, haha yes cooking is therapeutic when you are alone at home with the baby!
I have been a SAHM for 6 months only, and have to say the ups outweigh the downs by a lot. I love to spend money, so it is a challenge to keep my expenses down. Having said that, just meeting up with a fellow SAHM for coffee and walk around with our kids and window shop helps alot too. At least get out of the house once a week for a change of environment. Baby also enjoy the change!
Apart from that, family support, especially hubby's, for us to stay home is very important.
I have been a SAHM for 6 months only, and have to say the ups outweigh the downs by a lot. I love to spend money, so it is a challenge to keep my expenses down. Having said that, just meeting up with a fellow SAHM for coffee and walk around with our kids and window shop helps alot too. At least get out of the house once a week for a change of environment. Baby also enjoy the change!
Apart from that, family support, especially hubby's, for us to stay home is very important.
babydreamy
New Member
hi dreamygal.. so touching to hear you say that about your children.
i'm currently pregnant with my first one at 3 months. work is really tiring and hectic and always on the ball and running around... i hope to be a stay home mum after ML. cos my job need to work saturdays and need to be on call duty. at the same time, i thought of having second child. then will need the benefits. i cant bear to leave my children at home if i'm going back to work >.< it's a decision i have to make next yr.
i'm currently pregnant with my first one at 3 months. work is really tiring and hectic and always on the ball and running around... i hope to be a stay home mum after ML. cos my job need to work saturdays and need to be on call duty. at the same time, i thought of having second child. then will need the benefits. i cant bear to leave my children at home if i'm going back to work >.< it's a decision i have to make next yr.
maxlenebaby
New Member
Can i ask all the SAHM one personal question - hw much is yr hubby bringing home every mth? I had quit my job last year and rest for 4mths. During these 4 mths, is a tolerant for me, I did not go out cos scare to spend money. I return back to work during April and after working for 4mths, I am now pregnant with #1. Cos nobody will be able to look after my bb, i am thinking of SAHM recently. But worried on the income part..
chipsnchops
New Member
Maxienne
I have seen sahm with hb bringing home 8k, to a family of 8 or more. And I have seen hb bringing home 6 figure. It's all a matter of prioritising what is important in your family life.
Can you give up shopping for clothes/shoes/bags and changing wardrobe every season?
Can you give up expensive overseas trips?
Can you give up expensive dining outs?
Do you have many outstanding loans and mortages?
Would you die of envy knowing your friends could afford to send their kids to many more expensive enrichment?
Or would you rather have more time with your children/child? Just spending time with them, instead of getting them a lot of 'stuff'?
I have seen sahm with hb bringing home 8k, to a family of 8 or more. And I have seen hb bringing home 6 figure. It's all a matter of prioritising what is important in your family life.
Can you give up shopping for clothes/shoes/bags and changing wardrobe every season?
Can you give up expensive overseas trips?
Can you give up expensive dining outs?
Do you have many outstanding loans and mortages?
Would you die of envy knowing your friends could afford to send their kids to many more expensive enrichment?
Or would you rather have more time with your children/child? Just spending time with them, instead of getting them a lot of 'stuff'?
Hi, just to share my thoughts.
I have been a SAHM ever since I gave birth to my eldest daughter. It has been 9yrs.
Loads of ups n downs. But watching the children grow n nurture is the most satisfying part of being SAHM.
But sometimes I just couldn't help but wonder what would I have achieved if I had joined the corporate world instead of being a SAHM? I have always envy those who could dress nicely wif heels n makeup on n fetching children from childcare, while I feel awful in my shorts n tee wif messy hair fetching my child at the same time.
My mom hates the idea of me being a SAHM. I guess she doesn't want me to take the same path as her. She thinks my degree was 'wasted'. So does my relatives n some of my friends. My sister in law once told me she would have gone to work if she was me. Wif the degree she could have a nice job n good pay. It actually hurts me when I hear these kind of comments. But I kept reminding myself what my GP told me 2yrs ago.
While I was pregnant wif my 2nd child, I told her that I would enroll my baby in infant care n stop being a SAHM once n for all. I told her I'm going to get a job because I'm already in my thirties n not employed for so long, I might have trouble looking for a job if I drag any longer. She asked me if my decision to go to work was due to financial problem. I told her no, my husband's income so far is sufficient for the family n he's supportive of me being a SAHM. She told me in this case I shouldn't work. She had patients just a few months old n coming in every month due to sickness. Their immune system is still weak n would get sick easily. N children first 6 yrs is the most imp. Those r the yrs that they really need our utmost attention. Job will always be there, might not have a gd pay but will still have work if u look for one. But once u miss your children growing up yrs, it will be lost forever.
I took her words seriously, n when my second child was born 2yrs ago, I couldn't bear to leave him in an infant care n the thoughts of my elder daughter going to a student care is devastating.
I do not know when I will go back to full time job, but I know I m going to enjoy being a SAHM for now n be proud of being one.
I have been a SAHM ever since I gave birth to my eldest daughter. It has been 9yrs.
Loads of ups n downs. But watching the children grow n nurture is the most satisfying part of being SAHM.
But sometimes I just couldn't help but wonder what would I have achieved if I had joined the corporate world instead of being a SAHM? I have always envy those who could dress nicely wif heels n makeup on n fetching children from childcare, while I feel awful in my shorts n tee wif messy hair fetching my child at the same time.
My mom hates the idea of me being a SAHM. I guess she doesn't want me to take the same path as her. She thinks my degree was 'wasted'. So does my relatives n some of my friends. My sister in law once told me she would have gone to work if she was me. Wif the degree she could have a nice job n good pay. It actually hurts me when I hear these kind of comments. But I kept reminding myself what my GP told me 2yrs ago.
While I was pregnant wif my 2nd child, I told her that I would enroll my baby in infant care n stop being a SAHM once n for all. I told her I'm going to get a job because I'm already in my thirties n not employed for so long, I might have trouble looking for a job if I drag any longer. She asked me if my decision to go to work was due to financial problem. I told her no, my husband's income so far is sufficient for the family n he's supportive of me being a SAHM. She told me in this case I shouldn't work. She had patients just a few months old n coming in every month due to sickness. Their immune system is still weak n would get sick easily. N children first 6 yrs is the most imp. Those r the yrs that they really need our utmost attention. Job will always be there, might not have a gd pay but will still have work if u look for one. But once u miss your children growing up yrs, it will be lost forever.
I took her words seriously, n when my second child was born 2yrs ago, I couldn't bear to leave him in an infant care n the thoughts of my elder daughter going to a student care is devastating.
I do not know when I will go back to full time job, but I know I m going to enjoy being a SAHM for now n be proud of being one.
Maxlene, in addition to what Fullhouse mentioned, maybe u wana start to track your monthly basic expenses (utilities, food, hp bills, loans etc). Add on 50% on these basic expenses for baby's needs. From there you see if it's workable to be on single income.
Not only do u have to consider income, you also have to consider lifestyle changes, whether you can take it. I know of a mum who could well afford to be a Stay At Home Taitai, taking care of bb with help of a maid, and still can afford expensive meals, trips & shopping. But she chose to go to work coz she couldn't stand being in shorts & tee & messy hair. Another mum also can be SAHTT but she couldn't give up her career, so went back to work n left bb with maid.
Not only do u have to consider income, you also have to consider lifestyle changes, whether you can take it. I know of a mum who could well afford to be a Stay At Home Taitai, taking care of bb with help of a maid, and still can afford expensive meals, trips & shopping. But she chose to go to work coz she couldn't stand being in shorts & tee & messy hair. Another mum also can be SAHTT but she couldn't give up her career, so went back to work n left bb with maid.
maxlenebaby
New Member
Hi All, thanks for yr advice. I think i need to seriously work out our budget before making any decision.
wookie_fan
Member
Just to share, my child started half day infant care 2 weeks before my maternity leave was over in Jan. In the beginning she fell sick on a mthly basis. By Mar she was falling sick every 2 weeks. Nothing hurts more than see how much she is suffering. She was only attending infantcare for half a day (mon-fri). I cld not imagine wad wld haf happened if it was full day.
By April, hubby insisted i become a SAHM as infantcare is no longer an option (for my baby's health) and it was the best decision we ever made.
By April, hubby insisted i become a SAHM as infantcare is no longer an option (for my baby's health) and it was the best decision we ever made.
Hi all
After looking at all your postings... Makes me feel better of decided to be a SAHM from now onwards. I have 2 boys and I quitted my full time job five months ago and working temp job because of care taker issue. I was thinking to go back full time job and send them to after school care from next year onwards as need dual income to sustain. Who knows I am 7 weeks pregnant and edd next June. Looking at the situation I have no care taker help to look after the baby, hence am stress over the financial part and care taker.
After some thought, looks like I have to be a SAHM for at least 2 yrs to be the one taking care of my baby. Well financially will be a strain but as most of you have said, it still can be managed by changing your lifestyle and expectation and spending habits. Hope all will be well and aware is not easy to be a SAHM with no MC and leave benefits
After looking at all your postings... Makes me feel better of decided to be a SAHM from now onwards. I have 2 boys and I quitted my full time job five months ago and working temp job because of care taker issue. I was thinking to go back full time job and send them to after school care from next year onwards as need dual income to sustain. Who knows I am 7 weeks pregnant and edd next June. Looking at the situation I have no care taker help to look after the baby, hence am stress over the financial part and care taker.
After some thought, looks like I have to be a SAHM for at least 2 yrs to be the one taking care of my baby. Well financially will be a strain but as most of you have said, it still can be managed by changing your lifestyle and expectation and spending habits. Hope all will be well and aware is not easy to be a SAHM with no MC and leave benefits
The dilemma.. Been through it, and I was a WAHM for 2 years till opportunity knocks, when 2nd baby came and I re-enterred workforce.
Playing a balancing act with 2 toddlers, and an exciting job.
Enjoying it...here's some tips from successful women in Singapore, recorded during a private event organised by Mums@Work, http://nurizatul.blogspot.sg/2012/11/becoming-best-singapore-working-mums.html
Playing a balancing act with 2 toddlers, and an exciting job.
Enjoying it...here's some tips from successful women in Singapore, recorded during a private event organised by Mums@Work, http://nurizatul.blogspot.sg/2012/11/becoming-best-singapore-working-mums.html
Hi I am a SAHM since this Sept.
Can anyone share w me some links, web site, focus group, tat is for SAHM
[email protected]
Appreciated
Can anyone share w me some links, web site, focus group, tat is for SAHM
[email protected]
Appreciated
yumeumi
Active Member
Actually we can create a focus group here or in FB for SAHM to support one another,etc. We can share resources too.
It's not easy to be a SAHM but we all know that it is worth being one for family and kids. Finance might be tight but we work around and handling finance to make things good for family.
We might have a tight budget, but we definitely allow kids to grow abundance in many aspects too, isn't it?
It's not easy to be a SAHM but we all know that it is worth being one for family and kids. Finance might be tight but we work around and handling finance to make things good for family.
We might have a tight budget, but we definitely allow kids to grow abundance in many aspects too, isn't it?
Hi,
I am pregnant with my 3rd baby. My 2 kids are in the infant and child care. I stay with my mil and have a maid to look after my mil and take care of the housework and help out when the kids get home. However with my 3rd kid coming, it gives a lot of finance problem. I am not sure if I can take it as SAHM because if I quit my job, it will be a point of no return.
My hubby is not a supportive guy.
I am pregnant with my 3rd baby. My 2 kids are in the infant and child care. I stay with my mil and have a maid to look after my mil and take care of the housework and help out when the kids get home. However with my 3rd kid coming, it gives a lot of finance problem. I am not sure if I can take it as SAHM because if I quit my job, it will be a point of no return.
My hubby is not a supportive guy.
Tan Ying ling
New Member
Hi, I just started my sahm journey w elder boy 2.5 yrs n baby boy 16 weeks. How do u girls cope w emotional up n down?
i have #1, and due in nov for #2, will be SAHM after delivery as my current job is on contract basis n am not willing to go back to work as i find it hard to leave my kids with maid... everyday its heart wrenching episode while going to office... though it would be tough on financial side with 1 income, i think i will not have regrets.. i have to see how i will cope though
surfsiderose
New Member
Hi all, my maternity leave ends in about a month's time and I have more or less decided to quit my job to stay home to take care of my baby. It's gonna be tough and often I wonder if I'm really up for it. Being a full time stay home mom taking care of an infant, managing household chores without any help is no easy task, I know because I've been managing on my own for the last 2 months (new found respect for all SAHMs!). My parents and in-laws are not able to help out so the only option for us if I were to return to work would be to send our child to infant care. This would be the easy way out as it is definitely much less tiring spending a day at work than taking care of a baby. Plus having excess funds for shopping is never a bad thing! Hehe. But at the end of the day, gotta weight the pros and cons, and to me, the pros of being able to devout my time to my child during this critical growing stage simply outweighs all the cons.
rurukumi
Member
Hi mummies!
I'm at a crossroad as I'm due in Dec this year and toying with the idea of being either a SAHM or part-time working mum.
My current job is in the education sector and I work mainly with troubled/ at-risk youths. Seeing some of the youths at my work made me a bit worried about my own child next time. I could see a stark difference between children taken care of by caregivers other than their own parents and those who were solely cared for by their mums and dads. The development of the child really is much wholesome when at least 1 parent is present during the crucial years.
I guess my fear is more of whether I'll be able to handle staying at home and losing touch with the society if I become a SAHM. I had always been a slogger and it would be a major decision for me as I have never experienced being 'out-of-employment' since I grad 11 years ago. Wonder if I'll have difficulties adjusting.
Think if we could have a support group here then it'll be great. I could get advice from experienced mummies who could handle the heavy demands of taking care of the child and housework.
I'm at a crossroad as I'm due in Dec this year and toying with the idea of being either a SAHM or part-time working mum.
My current job is in the education sector and I work mainly with troubled/ at-risk youths. Seeing some of the youths at my work made me a bit worried about my own child next time. I could see a stark difference between children taken care of by caregivers other than their own parents and those who were solely cared for by their mums and dads. The development of the child really is much wholesome when at least 1 parent is present during the crucial years.
I guess my fear is more of whether I'll be able to handle staying at home and losing touch with the society if I become a SAHM. I had always been a slogger and it would be a major decision for me as I have never experienced being 'out-of-employment' since I grad 11 years ago. Wonder if I'll have difficulties adjusting.
Think if we could have a support group here then it'll be great. I could get advice from experienced mummies who could handle the heavy demands of taking care of the child and housework.
blessedrus
Member
Hi all,
I guess its really important to have a support group, one where u can meet up and share any ups and downs. I just started my SAHM journey too, but I think I might go back to part time work when my #2 is older.
I guess its really important to have a support group, one where u can meet up and share any ups and downs. I just started my SAHM journey too, but I think I might go back to part time work when my #2 is older.
Hi
I have been a sahm for 3 years and counting with 2 kids, one 3 years old and one 2 months old. Parenthood itself is not easy and being a stay at home mom is even more difficult. I have no help from both my parents or in laws as they are all working. There are ups and downs to being a sahm but I would say I have enjoyed this journey so far.
The ups and benefits I had was that I was able to be with my kids instead of worrying how a maid or childcare will treat them. I could give them the best nutritious food instead of having to settle what the cc provides. I could bf exclusively without having to pump out or worry what my employers think at work. Because the first 6 years of a child's life is very important, I was able to educate them based in their interest and ability and dedicate my 100% attention to them instead of having to accept a standard curriculum or divided attention from cc. Of course I witnessed all their every milestone and I love spending all that time with them. Also, as observed by another sahm friend, because we focus more attention on our kids, they developed faster than kids who went to cc. In fact, one of my friends commented that my child was better behaved than another friend's kid who was not taken care of by the mom herself.
The downsides of being a sahm are , if you don't have relatives to help you out, you can't afford to fall sick, you have no MC, no annual leave. If your husband works late, you have to work OT as well.. Also, if your husband don't give you any allowance, financially you are dependent on him. Some people may not like this feeling. In the long run, some husbands may think your job is easy and you are having a good life coz you are not " working", when in fact your work is 24/7, no annual leave or MC. Emotionally, been faced with a kid all day long can drive you crazy especially when the child is sick, don't take his naps and become cranky. Physically, you may be expected to do all night duties coz you dont 'work' and you may not get the rest even when your chid naps coz you need to catch up on housework or cook meals. if you are used to having a high paying job, your sense of self worth may degrade.
But before you decide to be a sahm, there are a few factors you have to consider:
1. Is your husband supportive? This is very important as he will be your emotional and financial support. If he is not, then your relationship may face a strain.
2. If you have no external help, Are you ready to be always " stuck" with your child in his/her early years?
3. Are you financially ready?
4. Are you ready to give up your current lifestyle?
What works for me as a Sahm is that I have regular play dates with other stay home moms. Having a social circle can help maintain your sanity .
I have been a sahm for 3 years and counting with 2 kids, one 3 years old and one 2 months old. Parenthood itself is not easy and being a stay at home mom is even more difficult. I have no help from both my parents or in laws as they are all working. There are ups and downs to being a sahm but I would say I have enjoyed this journey so far.
The ups and benefits I had was that I was able to be with my kids instead of worrying how a maid or childcare will treat them. I could give them the best nutritious food instead of having to settle what the cc provides. I could bf exclusively without having to pump out or worry what my employers think at work. Because the first 6 years of a child's life is very important, I was able to educate them based in their interest and ability and dedicate my 100% attention to them instead of having to accept a standard curriculum or divided attention from cc. Of course I witnessed all their every milestone and I love spending all that time with them. Also, as observed by another sahm friend, because we focus more attention on our kids, they developed faster than kids who went to cc. In fact, one of my friends commented that my child was better behaved than another friend's kid who was not taken care of by the mom herself.
The downsides of being a sahm are , if you don't have relatives to help you out, you can't afford to fall sick, you have no MC, no annual leave. If your husband works late, you have to work OT as well.. Also, if your husband don't give you any allowance, financially you are dependent on him. Some people may not like this feeling. In the long run, some husbands may think your job is easy and you are having a good life coz you are not " working", when in fact your work is 24/7, no annual leave or MC. Emotionally, been faced with a kid all day long can drive you crazy especially when the child is sick, don't take his naps and become cranky. Physically, you may be expected to do all night duties coz you dont 'work' and you may not get the rest even when your chid naps coz you need to catch up on housework or cook meals. if you are used to having a high paying job, your sense of self worth may degrade.
But before you decide to be a sahm, there are a few factors you have to consider:
1. Is your husband supportive? This is very important as he will be your emotional and financial support. If he is not, then your relationship may face a strain.
2. If you have no external help, Are you ready to be always " stuck" with your child in his/her early years?
3. Are you financially ready?
4. Are you ready to give up your current lifestyle?
What works for me as a Sahm is that I have regular play dates with other stay home moms. Having a social circle can help maintain your sanity .
Superior baby
Member
Full time mother with income.. Does it sound great to you ?? email me @ [email protected] if you are interested.
i am so glad i found this thread as i recently resigned from my job to stay home with my firstborn. I had 3 major milestones in a year - i got married, got pregnant on our honeymoon and then became a SAHM. it's been a bit much to digest and i try not to think about it cos it overwhelms me at times.
3 months of staying home with baby almost permanently attached to me 24/7 and it has been absolutely exhausting and a much tougher job that i ever expected. Newfound respect for all SAHMs. what i have read here gives me comfort that the decision to stay home is right although i really love my job and my colleagues. The dependence on my husband is something i am still trying to accept; he is fully supportive and financially we are ok on a single income. It's just the loss of independence and freedom that i am learning to comes to terms with. Like rurukumi, i am a slogger and have never been unemployed since graduation and worked every school holiday since i was 15.
I feel so alone at times on this new journey where i have no experience as most of my friends already have had their kids (we married late). If there is a support group, please do include me. Thanks so much.
3 months of staying home with baby almost permanently attached to me 24/7 and it has been absolutely exhausting and a much tougher job that i ever expected. Newfound respect for all SAHMs. what i have read here gives me comfort that the decision to stay home is right although i really love my job and my colleagues. The dependence on my husband is something i am still trying to accept; he is fully supportive and financially we are ok on a single income. It's just the loss of independence and freedom that i am learning to comes to terms with. Like rurukumi, i am a slogger and have never been unemployed since graduation and worked every school holiday since i was 15.
I feel so alone at times on this new journey where i have no experience as most of my friends already have had their kids (we married late). If there is a support group, please do include me. Thanks so much.
Tan Ying ling
New Member
Hi maml, if u need to talk can email me at [email protected] cos I become a sahm after my 2nd child this yr n took me about 6 mths to really adapt.
Take care!
Take care!
surfsiderose
New Member
Haml,
I am a SAHM to my 5.5months old babyboy. I dont have any help from family in taking care of my baby so its jut me and him most of the time.
Would lov to chat more and have you a fellow SAHM as friend. PM or email me at surfsiderose hotmail.com
I am a SAHM to my 5.5months old babyboy. I dont have any help from family in taking care of my baby so its jut me and him most of the time.
Would lov to chat more and have you a fellow SAHM as friend. PM or email me at surfsiderose hotmail.com
purplebook
New Member
I am currently aSAHM staying in Jurong.
I enjoyed my job but because i have find a nanny yet so i have to take care of my baby.
I tried infant care but it's horror to see the teachers way of handling is a nightmare. Eg, rocking baby during feeding, this can cause more air to stomach. Use high temperature to shower baby. Don't know how to warm fridge breast milk to right temperature etc.
My husband is perfectionist towards baby so he gives me alot stress on how he preferred the way baby should be taken care. We quarrelled so many times....
Add me at [email protected] for chat
I enjoyed my job but because i have find a nanny yet so i have to take care of my baby.
I tried infant care but it's horror to see the teachers way of handling is a nightmare. Eg, rocking baby during feeding, this can cause more air to stomach. Use high temperature to shower baby. Don't know how to warm fridge breast milk to right temperature etc.
My husband is perfectionist towards baby so he gives me alot stress on how he preferred the way baby should be taken care. We quarrelled so many times....
Add me at [email protected] for chat
I feel so emo when reading from the above postings bcoz I have some same experience.
I was unable to cope with looking after my newborn in 2010, we got a bb sitter while I work but it was hectic lifestyle from mon-fri, nite fretch #1 home n play with her awhile. It was difficult to hold my temper when exhausted n it is difficult to change her attitude n behaviour now.i felt bad to outsource someone to look after my child but like other mommies, i need freedom n wish to have own saving inorder to look forward to travel n restaurant food.
due to Insufficient sleep when my child still want nite feed. I tried to look for perm part time job but some the location is too far etc. so i have more free time n rest but nothing suit. After 1.5yr, I quit my job n prepare to have 2nd pregnancy. This time I am gg to try look after #2 by myself. Don't trust maid nor IFC. I have been working for more than 15yrs n i am tired of office politics. i wasn't working during 2nd pregnancy, I order tingkat lunch for almost 6mths n I dread the routine food. Dinner pack by hubby or dine with him like after 8pm. Hubby wasn't very supportive when I quit but eventually pregnant so he also can't grumble. Work or not. Pros n cons.
I was unable to cope with looking after my newborn in 2010, we got a bb sitter while I work but it was hectic lifestyle from mon-fri, nite fretch #1 home n play with her awhile. It was difficult to hold my temper when exhausted n it is difficult to change her attitude n behaviour now.i felt bad to outsource someone to look after my child but like other mommies, i need freedom n wish to have own saving inorder to look forward to travel n restaurant food.
due to Insufficient sleep when my child still want nite feed. I tried to look for perm part time job but some the location is too far etc. so i have more free time n rest but nothing suit. After 1.5yr, I quit my job n prepare to have 2nd pregnancy. This time I am gg to try look after #2 by myself. Don't trust maid nor IFC. I have been working for more than 15yrs n i am tired of office politics. i wasn't working during 2nd pregnancy, I order tingkat lunch for almost 6mths n I dread the routine food. Dinner pack by hubby or dine with him like after 8pm. Hubby wasn't very supportive when I quit but eventually pregnant so he also can't grumble. Work or not. Pros n cons.
