hi hippo2022,
To answer your question on how I would know whether my girl will have friends or not in a particular school, I look at the culture or environment of the school - the children who go there. If the children who go to a particular school are more likely to speak mother tongues, then most likely they wouldn't like my kid. It's through experiences I guess. Since she was young, I observed that she's closer to indians and chinese kids seem to be averse to her, esp when they only speak Mandarin. Even when I took her to a Sunday school near my mother's place, the chinese kids didn't seem to like her altho they spoke some English. It was as if it's something instinctive. They were either rude to her or simply ignored her when she tried to talk to them. But I noticed that she gets along well with kids at the Ikea ballroom. I'm not exactly sure why these happen, but I guess as a mother, I knew that she needed an environment with kids who speak the same language at the same level.
To adults, we know that it's not possible to have the whole world as our friends, but friends are very important and mean everything to a child. It affects his self-esteem and like what you said, it affects the child's personality. So to me, the environment tops the priority.
I was also concerned that my kid might end up having only indian friends bcos as it was, her best friends at my mother's place and her kindy were indians.
Of course it's a 'gamble' then, since I already knew that chinese kids don't take to my kid. But the majority of Singapore is still chinese. She won't be able to run away from the race or the language they speak. I told myself that if it happens that she's ostracised in this school, I'll change school. Even her name is associated with being happy - that speaks of how desperate I am to want her to be happy. haha ...
In my opinion, teachers do not make a huge difference to the kids becos ultimately, it's the parental support that's more important. And I don't think that a branded school's teachers are any better than a neighbourhood school's becos they all come from the same place, NIE. And they are at the schools by the virtue of posting and not becos they make fantastic teachers. I know of a few teachers who couldn't even speak proper English and pronounce 'fry' as 'fly' who got very good grades for teaching.
And the schools are 'good' and produce good results becos of the cohort of children who go there, bcos their parents are hardworking in supporting them academically. That's why sometimes we see 'good schools' congregating at certain areas. Some schools start giving sentences for spelling at P1 while others give single words for spelling at P2 - this is becos the teachers are pitching at the abilities of the children in general, not becos the teachers do not know that knowing how to spell full sentences are better than just knowing single words. Some schools use more difficult textbooks while others use easier ones - this is also becos teachers are catering to the abilities of the children in general, not becos the teachers themselves don't know the content of the more difficult textbooks.
I ramble again. It's just typical of me la, to give an opinion when I have one. Like I have said, different parent want different things for their kids. So you might not agree with me and that's absolutely fine.
hippo,
Your kid doesn't sound like an introvert to me. She complains to her teacher directly. hahahaa ... so cute. I always ask my kid to complain to the teacher directly but she never does. Always end up with me complaining to the teacher and looking like a difficult and over-protective parent.