IVF Mummies-To-Be Support Group

[humble]

Hi all,
I m also having the same problem as winter, actually it all started friday night, HB was watching TV most of the time and not spending enough time (quality time) with me. I was angry and very emotional, i was just telling him i dont feel good and suddenly tears welled up in my eyes, thats all i know the next thing i realize was he was smashing and breaking everything in our bedroom and i m crawling in my bed helplessly, I still cant believe wat he did. He had once done this 6 yrs ago but promised to never repeat again. whats shocking is he has done it now when i m pregie after 7 yrs of struggle. He left me crying for hours after that. I hav still not overcome it, i keep telling myself he isnt wat i thot he will be (may be i m expecting too much of him???) I m very upset with him again, he watched tv whole night and slept whole day during this weekend. All he does is comes to me for a few seconds to rub my tummy and then goes off. I hate it really!!

sorry for dumping my worries here gals, i really cant stand what he is doing to me and i really really needed to get it out of my mind. I m scared that i m going to hurt the bb by worrying myself like this.

winter, is your hb working late or watching FIFA? Mine is just hooked up to the TV. I too used to watch football but now i hate it becos of him.

Hope all you gals are doing great, take care all, will post again tomorrow. I m really feeling damn moody rite now!

 

[chloe_chee]

hi humble

oh dear, u must have felt very very upset! i guess ur hubby must have flown into a real nasty anger!

i know it is difficult to control ur emotions, but if u get too affected, it will hurt bb. Can ask ur MIL to talk to her son? He cannot go on with his nonsense if he wants to give u a conducive environment during ur pregnancy. Wat's more, u tried for 7 years, wat can be more impt than u now?

This FIFA fever ending soon right? Hopefully he will revert to his same old self after that. For the next few matches, suggest u leave him alone, dun provoke him in case he vent his anger on u again.

Any hobbies which u enjoy doing? When he's watching the matches and u feel bored, maybe can do something u like to pass time. Eg. read a book, listen to music (heehee... u keen on baby mozart?), watch a VCD/DVD, or think of names for ur baby(s), surf the internet for where to buy baby products and maternity wear, etc, etc. Just focus on ur bb, and hopefully time will pass by faster by doing things that u enjoy.

ok, dun cry anymore, bb will get angry with u.

 

[tch]

Hi humble and winter, it's normal to be emotional while you are preggy.
I can also cry for nothing really serious.

Humble, a thought just came across my mind. Is your hubby betting on soccer? Maybe that's why he reacts so badly when you cry cos it's "bad luck" as gamblers would believe.

Anyway, my hub is not a very sensitive guy either. He doesn't check on my babies everyday even for this pregnancy. Before we got the maid he spent most of his time doing housework or handle the elder son a bit. Now that the maid is here, he has a more easy life but still he doesn't really spend quality time with me. All I ask is he spend quality time with no. 1 so that he won't be so clingy to me now and later after my delivery. But he doesn't do it also. Spend most of his time watching TV as well.

Like yours, when hub is angry with me, sometimes he will also leave me crying. Sometimes I wonder whether I marry the right person.

Most of the time, I choose to overlook it as he is also a good husband in that he helps out in the housework and taking care of the son though he is not very sensitive of my needs.

Anyway, try to keep your moods up and not let it affect the baby. Keep yourself occupied and think of happier things.

 

[winter1]

Humble, tch,

Ya exactly like you, I have been thinking if I married the right person...for past 4 months since pregnant, he went out everynight, came back after I slept and never hug, kiss, communicate, comfort me...Last week was so serious I told him I wanted divorce...well, he's busy with his entertainment outside, plus a soccer fan.

he never will console me even if I cry non stop...sigh...

probably I expected too much, cos we went such a long way, through all the pains and sorrows and finally god gave us 2 miracles, but the way he handle my pregnancy is not what I'v expected..sigh..now really worried if my crying has hurt the babies...really worried.

tch, take good care, rest well and don't think about work anymore..everything should be fine..

humble, let's be strong okie, our babies very important now

 

[tch]

humble, winter, don't worry the crying won't hurt the bbs. But just that I heard their temperatment may also be affected. May not a moody child. So stay happy....

 

[humble]

Thank you chloe, tch and winter! Believe me your posts have lifted my mood a lot today.

chloe,
I cant tell this to MIL i know her too well, she will hate me if i complain abt her son, she wil simply say "u shld leave him alone dont keep disturbing him". I m trying to read and surf during weekdays, think will do the same on weekends as well. Thanks for your advice dear!

tch,
thanks for sharing with us your experience, it really means a lot to me now. I dont know if men are insensitive or non expressive, but it sure hurts us a lot. hmm........ I admire your courage to let go, i m also thinking that i shld let go and not expect anything from him, may be expectations are causing disappoinment. U take care dear, sorry for worrying u with my post. Hey you cutie pies are gonna come out soon, so cheer up and rest well k....oh just read your previous post, please dont worry abt the baby, he will surely grow well. Rest well please.

winter,
I can totally understant wat u mean, it sure will hurt us badly, but like u said, lets dont cry anymore for the sake of our babies and try to be happy. My hubby was ok initially after we found out it was +ive but slowly started to act strange, I was even wondering if some men are affected by thier wife's pregnancy in anyway, well after all, he was the one dying to become a father not me.

Well, I think we shouldnt worry anymore hunny, lets learn to let go.......and do wat makes us happy. Are u still working? I m glad i'll be going for my part time job soon. I was reading up my old notes on human development, it says that bbs will not be physically affected by our emotions but it will harm their emotional development if our mood continues to be like this for a long period of time. Lets smile ok...

 

[humble]

missmoon,
smooth and happy delivery! Take good care yourself too.......

 

[humble]

blue rabbit,
thanks for the info on the packages. Take care!

rae,
how are u? din see u for sometimes leh!

 

[raetan]

hi humble... me ok... ist day nt working so a bit lost on wat to do...

still tinking abt work thou... *sigh*

believe bb will b affected by our moods no matter wat... cos they r wat we are, more or less in the genes...

am trying to be open-minded for now... my hubby oso watching World Cup. my conclusion is - if i can't change his mind, might as well join him...

so i hv been watching some matches with him from the start & discussing after tt...

Latest by 12, i must sleep liao...

 

[lim]

oh dear, tch/humble/winter1, don't be too sad. Men r like this. My hb too, he's always sticking to the computer playing computer games, every weekday night and weekends too. But I hv learnt to let go, cos at least my hb is willing to accompany me for shopping when I ask him to. He is also qute sympathetic when I complain of ache and discomfort. So these r the little things that I'm content with and this way it also ease some tension off, otherwise I'll be quarelling with him every day for spending more time with the computer than with me. Don't read too much into ur hb's behaviour ok? I believe all hubbies love their wives, just that they express it in a diff way.

missmoon,
All the best in ur delivery, hope to hear news from u soon.

 

[humble]

thanks blue rabbit for sharing your exp too.

winter,
hope things are better with you too. take care please!

gals,
I spoke to hb yest, and he appologised for his actions on Fri night. Things seems to be fine for now, I m also gonna let go of him so that i wont be stressed. Anyway, he will be leaving soon for his overseas project.

I m not feeling very well, my stomach is bloated like nothing since the past few days, last night and today is worst, i m kinda worried actually. My scan is 6 days away and am wondering if its singleton or multiples. given my beta 1211 on D15, do u gals think i may hav multiples? I would love to have single or twins but triplets...kinda scared cos i m small size, wonder if i can carry. Hope everything goes well on the 11th.

 

[humble]

chloe,
what was your beta level? Did your tummy swell badly before your first scan? Please advice!

 

[raetan]

hi humble, gd to talk with ur HB

wow, ur beta reading's very high....

may hv multiples....

tt's why feel bloated??

 

[humble]

rae,
ya, told him honestly how i felt and he appologised tho did not say why he did it. I m kinda scared of having triplets leh, but if god has that in plan for me i'll happily take it. All i m praying now is to see a healthy heart beat. I m not only bloated, feeling so so hot (showered in cold water more than 3 times since morning liao), keep eating only spicy food, dont like soups anymore, having constant headache and body pain. Hope everything will go fine!

How abt u? how's stayin at home?

 

[tch]

humble, yrs maybe twins,prob not triples. Mine was 1488.

You have to endure all these discomfort till about 12 weeks. I also couldn't eat in Tri 1 and only like spicy food and can only stomach sandwiches. Actually I ate quite a bit of Tom Yam Instant noodle during then.

 

[humble]

tch,
was your reading on day 15 or 17? icic, then i can keep eating spicy food, ha ha.....

 

[chloe_chee]

hi humble

sorry, i was out the whole day. erh... i think there's a chance u have multiples... ur bHCG is very high. My bHCG at D15 was 453, D18 was 1643.4 and D23 was 9298.1, and i am having triplets... Dun worry, God has a plan for everyone. Just take one step at a time, soon the verdict will be out

gals, i am now in my 9th week. Went for scan today, babies are all healthy 23mm, 24mm and 25mm.

 

[winter1]

Dear all,

Thanks for being so encouraging..am feeling better these few days...thank you..

Ya humble, think you will have at least two...dun worry too much...my beta was 3063 at D17.

Tch, hope you are feeling better, when is your next checkup?

 

[humble]

chloe,
ya ur rite, how is it carrying triplets? Is the discomfort very bad? Great news that the little ones are all doing great! Ohh ur beta seems to be way lower than mine. Thnks for the reply dear!

Winter,
Glad u r feeling better, me too after discussing with u all feel better. when is your scan for gender? take care hunny.

 

[chloe_chee]

hi humble

The MS is still tolerable, i keep telling myself, wat can be worse than trying to conceive??

PMA ok?

 

[lim]

wow, so many mommies here r hvg multiples. I'm so envious. Initially I was hoping to hv twins but after scan I'm contented with singleton too. U all must take care, hvg double/triple the discomfort than a singleton. Now I'm at 21st week and already start to feel very uncomfortable with heartburn and sleeping.

 

[humble]

chloe, thanks u r one brave woman i should say.....

blue rabbit,
what was your beta and which day was it? he he me doing a beta research!

 

[raetan]

humble, so far staying home ok... had lunch with an ex-col yesterday and will b gg out to watch a movie later...

hw abt u?? when is ur EDD?? chloe & I had joined the Feb 2007 MTBs thread...

blue_rabbit, am having singleton too so dun feel much rite now...

i jus eat watever i want & can... even spicy food....

 

[humble]

Rae,
doc gav u the EDD is it? I dont hav leh! I oni checked the online calculator and it says feb 28 (hope next year is not a leap year ha ha). Where is the thread u hav mentioned will join u there after my scan la, still a bit scared of the scan u know?

I m just sleeping, watching tv, reading and surfing at home. Just spoke to one of my ex classmate today, she had finished her masters and will be taking up a lecturing assignment soon, aiya, soo envy her........i was also supposed to do my masters last year with her but kept postponing becos of the tmt, I keep missing a lot of good career opportunities lately feel so scared if i'll get them when i need!

Well, anyway our project bb is more important than anything eslse rite? i keep forgeting that leh.......

wah gonna watch movie ah, what movie?

 

[raetan]

humble, i oso use online calculator & it says 17 Feb 07 but after 1st scan, was told it's 20 Feb 07...but guess it's all est., may change again... ? I had copy & paste the link below:

http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/353640/431832.html?1152068527

guess different pple has different goals in their life. ur ex claamate's goal is getting a masters and taking up a lecturing assignment. you r rite - our Project BB is more impt now so have to let go/sacrifice some stuff....

gg to watch Superman Returns....

 

[winter1]

Rae, Humble,

Wow feb..it's CNY time...it will be so joyous for your family...

Humble, my detailed scan is on 13th July...6 more days to go!

 

[humble]

rae thanks for the link, let us know how ws the movie k..

winter, woo...soon very soon u will know whether girls, boys or girl and boy. How lovely!

 

[raetan]

hi winter, ya CNY period....

but confine to home....

hi humble, Superman Returns not bad.....

abt 2.5hrs....

btw, had bad dream yesterday nite - tt i'm having menses!!!! dunno y had such a dream....

 

[humble]

rae,
me too had that kinda dream twice leh, i was very scared and told hb immediately, he said it could be that my subconscious mind is afraid of having menses thats y.

hmmm...may b will go and watch the movie if possible

 

[raetan]

morning humble, it finally rain today! hehehe, else so hot...

ya mayb it really is our subconscious mind.... kekeke

 

[humble]

rae,
morning! ya loh, i just woke up only. so nice to sleep ah?
Can u believe i had the same dream last night, this time the flow was horrible and i m screaming for hb from the toilet, aiyo! i woke up screaming abt 2.30 am and then cldnt sleep after that, so end up watching fifa semi finals with hb. then went to bed again at abt 5 am.

 

[tch]

humble, you are right, mine's on Day 17 so yours is very high.

Winter I am working from home now. The next checkup is next Wed. Hopefully babies will grow bigger and the problem goes away.

Talking about nightmares, I had those bloody nightmares too previously. And had one that is too horrible to be described. Had another dream last night that I fell from somewhere high and somehow the babies just pop out of my tummy. One is bigger and the other is smaller as per scan but both were cute little angels that were very active....and in my dream, I was checking whether one turned out to be a girl cos my son has been saying about meimei...I guess that is my subconcious desire...hehehe.

 

[lim]

humble,
my bHCg was 438 on D17.

 

[lim]

tch,
do u experienced bad heartburn, fast heartbeat and short sharp pain on abdomen when u r 20+ weeks? I hb been hvg these symptons and really very uncomforatble at time... esp the heartburn. I'm also taking longer to fall aslep at night nowadays, keep turning and tossing to find a comfortale position.

 

[humble]

thanks blue rabbit,
I read somewhere that heart burn is a common symptom during pregnancy esp after the 1st trimester. they say can drink honey water or yogurt to ease the discomfort. I hav been having very bad heart burn since the past few days (think i hav it early as i hav gastritis), i tried yogurt but its only making it worst for me. I'll try to find that website and post if possible

 

[humble]

tch,
how similar our dreams are, so it must be our subconscious mind. I m sure ur bbs are healthy and cute, u r going to be busy going after them once they are out haha...take care

 

[tch]

blue rabbit, I don't really have bad heartburn cos I can't eat too much anyway. Was very breathless in Tri 1 but got better in 2nd Tri. Strange, should be your honeymoon period now. As for sleep, i don't remember having a good sleep for the longest time.

Oh humble, if they are anything like No.1, I sure can lose weight very quickly. He is heavy, strong and very active...

 

[humble]

tch, sure they will be.

Gosh, I vomitted almost five times since this afternoon. This vomit doesnt seem like due to nausousness. I feel like the food i ate wasnt digested at all, i had bad burning sensation at my chest immediately after eating and became like choking feeling, so i had to through out everything immediately. Its so painful and uncomfortable at the throat and chest. Is this normal glas??? Or am i having food poison or something else???? I m soo hungry and enjoy eating but the food doesnt seem to go past my chest. I cant even drink water, it comes out immediately. Do u think i shld go to kkh 24hours.

 

[curious]

humble,
go kkh 24 hrs if u need assurance from doctors. for my case, I also vomitted all my food after 1-2hrs (not immediately). i noticed those food were not digested at all & my stomach very uncomfy. i went to see doctor & he only prescribed me anti nauseous medicine but I didn't take it.

if doctors said nothing serious, then u try to eat very very small quantity each meal. and easily digestable food. as for water, u can dilute some honey or ribena into your water to make it tastier. hope it helps.

 

[humble]

curious,
thank u so much for the info, yes i went kk24 clinic yesterday and was told food poisoning. I think its becos of the fried rice i ate that afternoon. Hubby was mad at me for eating fried rice outside. I have really been eating greedily lately. I dont know why i cant control myself, simply want to eat all spicy and fried stuff. Now I learnt my lesson, will try n eat easy to digest food.

Can someone give me some porridge recipes (i m bad with cooking he he)

 

[lim]

My bb gal has been so active these 2 days. I kept feeling her kicks and nudge.

 

[curious]

humble,
oh I find those outside fried rice a bit oily. During my 1st tri, I also vomitted after I had fried rice or fried kway teow (even a little). I took hor fun & was OK. now, I can eat anything. I even asked a malay colleague to teach me cook curry. Nowadays I love to eat those food with spicies. Those chicken bryani etc...the chicken rendang gravy etc...very delicious!

 

[humble]

curious,
I couldnt take it so mailed doc s f loh on sat nite, he replied immediately that i m suffereing from hyperemesis (severe vomiting which will lead to dehydration). He asked me to go to 24 hours for hydration drips if i cant retain anything down. Think mine is not the normal morning sickness liao, i m one of the lucky ones with this terrible vomiting. I read a lot of scary things abt this sickness. aiya, for now i m eating one slice of plain bread in the morning with a glass of glucose or ribena and two or three spoons of watery porridge for lunch and dinner and trying hard to keep this in the stomach. Gosh i m scared like nothing now!

Hey glad that u r feeling ok now and can eat your favourites, yum yum I love bryani.

blue rabbit, so nice to hear that your bb gal has started to kick. take care!

 

[lim]

curious,
u can take spicy food ah. If I take anything spicy, I'll be torture with heartburn.

humble,
remember to take lots of fluid so as to avoid dehydration.

How's the rest of mommies here?

I'm on 2 days MC cos I started to hv this pain on the right side of my abdomen last night. This morning really painful so asked my hb to send me to KK 24hrs clinic. The doc on duty said that bb is ok but I'm hvg contractions. I gave her a bewildered look and she said yah it's early but the contractions are mild. Now I need to monitor whether got bleeding or not.

 

[lim]

MTBs,
I hv a tube of brand new PALMER'S stretchmark cream to sell @$18, anyone interested? If u don't mind, I will also give another 1/3 used tube FOC to you.

 

[tch]

humble, what about taking more dry food like sandwiches? At least they are healthier. I mainly had sandwiches during Tri 1. Hope it helps u. Take care

 

[kiki_11]

.

 

[wannabmummy]

humble,
how are u le?better?btw u nd the porridge rec?
here it goes...this is century egg porridge but if u dunwan then dun put the century egg.

ingredients needed:

*chicken thigh (amount depend on how much u cook) or half chicken..peel off skin.
*dry scallop(use the knife blade to smash it flat)
*cuttlefish(slice)
*optional if u like celery can add some later..
*century egg(cube)

let's begin:
*put chicken n dry scallop to boil.
*after the chicken cook take out the chicken n let it cool down(later juz slice/tear the meat)
*put the rice into the water(make sure is the rice for porridge)<<if>>
*keep stirring..stir till the porridge becm dissolve(sticky) if u smell "chow tar" juz add water then stir..
*add salt to taste
*when is goin to be done add cuttlefish n the chick slice meat juz now u have done then cook awhile then can be serve..
*if u eat century egg juz add century egg n the celery..

ENJOY UR PORRIDGE

================DONE

==========================

 

[wannabmummy]

Humble,
today ur scanning rite?
kp us posted how many heart beat ok?hehe

 

[humble]

hui
thanks for the recipe, will try it tomorrow.

blue rabbit,
are u ok now? take care

tch,
ya i hav been taking plain bread and it seems to work. Thanks!

Gals,
went for scan today, I was keeping everything crossed to hav twins but god has already prepared triplets for me. I was quiet sad at first, but hb and MIL gave me a lot of assurance that it will be ok.

the bbs are 5mm 5mm and 3mm, the 3mm one is small and the heart beat seems to be slow. I dont know what to make out of it, now i just pray hard that all the 3 will be healthy and i can carry them to full term if possible.

Doc Loh, assured me that he will help to enable me carry as long as i could. But still i m scared, very scared!