IVF/ICSI Support Group

My bestie is giving birth in feb n I'm alrdy thinking of excuses not to attend BB shower. I'm tired of answering questions from non sensitive friends or rather, over concerned friends when will it b my turn. I feel like telling them "if I can have hair, I won't wanna cut botak right" duh! They don't realise Everytime they ask, it's like cutting my heart with a knife
 


I haven't told my family abt the ivf. And recently when I was feeling sick cos of the jabs or avoiding certain herbal soups, my mum started asking if i was preggie.. Haizzz...
 
My in Law's r aware of me gg thru IVF treatment. But after disappointing them twice (1 fresh n 1 FET), I've decided not to tell them I'm in 2ww. Lucky I didn't say if not they will disappointed again. Heng my in laws got 4grandkids alrdy n r very understanding folks but I just cnt bring myself to tell them it didn't work out again... N now I'm thinking next FET I will probably not tell any close friends as well.. To face bfn is alrdy heartbreaking enough but to repeatedly tell people bfn, it's like rubbing salt into my own wound.... Siong ahhhh
 
My in laws are not aware except my parents. Anyway my sil gave birth in sept so they are not free to nag at us when is our turn.n i dun tik they bother to.
I told my hsb do not tell them after 3 mths even bfp.
 
Yeah, think that's why i haven't found the courage to tell my parents. Dun wish to have the added stress of disappointing them or of them asking me how things went.
 
Last year.oct, i had surgery to remove a big fibroid. my mil kp asking me y like tat.is tat y cannot pregnant blah blah..
To save myself from all the askings, best nt to tell them. dun tik i will even said we went for ivf if we were to conceive thru ivf.
 
Yeah ... Agreed .... Super undue added stress!

During my most recent fresh attempt, I did not tell a single soul from my office. I just told them I went for a day surgery. So that's the story I gave ALL my colleagues even after the 2ww. Then to my 'horror' one day, one of my colleague came to tell me that the WHOLE office knew I went for IVF. I was like wtf??? How did anyone of them know?

After my investigative work, I discovered my boss asked my female colleague what happened to me. She in turn went to messaged my hubby. My hubby told her I went for IVF but to shhhhh cuz I don't want anyone to know. She in turn went to tell 2 other colleagues. One of them also went to tell another 2 more ....... boy, was I upset man?! I felt like a total fool! I told the last one off, that she shd be clarifying with me if I had gone for IVF, rather than to try dig & fish info from me by repeatedly asking me what kind of op I went for, if having so many surgeries is bad for health etc etc

Sometimes, we just want to keep it low profile, tell no one because we can't bear to deal with the negative news, let alone answer to those curious ones who knew & who would ask. Some people can be that insensitive. I was so upset with that 2 colleagues man .... Felt my privacy was being invaded.
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Dee, I cnt agree with u more. Some people r really insensitive. Constantly hurting us (un)knowingly... Yr colleagues r really too much. Y r there such people who exist in this world..to make others(us) more miserable than we alrdy r.... Jeez...
 
Hi Dee n i1bb:

Totally agreed. That I how felt. Already informed my boss. Had to forgo promotion is 1 thing. He added salt to my wound. Tell me to share with whole office. So that others who is covering will not said things at my back. Argh....

Those "careing" colleagues are those not even covering my duties. My boss still asked me to think careful which one is more important. If I succeed this time, I will keep mum till after 1st trimester.
 
This was one of the reason I quitted from my job. I feel that my priority in life now is ttc. And it's Alrdy tough enuf for me and I really dnt wish to have to 交代now n then to boss, superiors n colleagues n to those covering me, it seems like become I owe them like that. Thus I decided to quit n concentrate on IVF first
 
I1bb: do both your hubby and you consider to for TCM?

My TCM Dr said both have to tiao together than can see the result. Although my TCM dr is not very famous. But she had help a lot of couple to ttc naturally. Her charges not expensive but have to brew her medication.
 
Dear gals,
It's been a week since I last spoke cos was in Malaysia for a short trip. Luckily no bleeding nor bad pains. Visited laoshi the second time today. She says she did some cleansing for me, related to past lives. At first was conscious but later on fell asleep, just like first time. She also said to SMS her my good news tmr cos I'm seeing dr Loh again for heartbeat scan.

Two weeks ago couldn't find anything. Been pretty stressed abt tmr. Cos if cant see heartbeat, will need to do a D&C like 3 years ago. And my bestie just announced yesterday she's Preggie with her second one, EDD 13 aug. if I'm successful, my EDD would also have been around there. Really hope I'd finally hv good news to share after 6 years of marriage...

To those who have bfn the past week,
Do be strong and keep trying. I was also suggested by NUH docs to go for adoption and surrogacy and even SGH TCM said she can't help me much thru herbs. It really felt like a death sentence and I did go and read up on surrogacy. There are singaporean couples who have done it. My best friend even helped me to get contacts and details from two surrogacy hospitals in India with costs. But I just tried to stay positive and try again, changed dr, now BFP (tho yet to see heartbeat) but it is an improvement from previous tries already.

Unless people have gone thru what we have, (I composed a letter to my previous bb who didn't make it past 8 weeks) they won't understand our pains in conceiving. But at least there is this forum here for us to support one another and share joys and disappointments.

Belated merry Christmas and lets keep our spirits positive for the new year ahead!
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Babysmurf, there's nothing wrong with my dh. As for me, I oso dnt knw if I shd go for tcm or not leh... Hw much r the tcm meds may I ask?

Yo sashamama, fret not. I'm sure everything will turn out fine tomorrow for u n u will b able to c strong heartbeat.
 
I1bb: my tcm dr consultation fee $5. Medication per pkt: $7-$8. My hubby also nothing wrong. She commented both see her then can. My first cycle only I see her, she gives medication to improve my womb and eggs. But that is only one way. Both hubby's sperm also must comunicate to us also. Then both can work.
 
Babysmurf & Dee, sorry to hear abt how u had to bear with the insensitive colleagues. I haven't told anyone at work n I think I better play safe n keep mum. Don't need the added stress.

Babysmurf, where's ur tcm?

i1BB, success will come ur way.
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I have a fren who also quit to focus on ttc. She had some health issues but was able to conceive n just had a baby recently.

Sashamama, good luck with ur scan today. It'll go well, dun worry!
 
Hi Sashamama
All the best to ur scan today.. U will see ur bb hb today k..;)

Hi i1bb
No see red means got chance.. Dun trust hpt too much k.. Jiayou!!
 
Hi all, belated Merry Xmas! I just came back from Batam for a short trip.

Joanne, saw someone posted asking u abt ur 'babies', dats y I guessed must be twins or triplets?
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I1bb, i agree with the rest dat if u dun see red, there is still a high chance. Press on
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Babysmurf, dee and i1bb, I tried not to reveal to my colleagues too but you know there will always be the overly concerned pple who will keep probing and asking. Once they know, they will tell other overly concerned colleagues too. I only told two close colleagues but now everyone knows, dunno how to face them when they start asking.


At home, my mil also added to my stress level. She knew abt the ivf thgy and she told the whole world abt it when hubby and I told her not to. To make matters worse, she kept complaining to me about the maid during the 2ww and wanted me to 'scold' her. Arghh....
 
Thks Babysmurf for the tcm address. Unfortunately too far for me.

Starbabies, yah, I worry that my mum wld tell other relatives too. So till now have not mentioned to her abt IVF.

i1BB, I agree with the rest u still have a chance! Good luck!
 
Babysmurf, dee and i1bb, i told my direct Boss (male) about the plan. he is very supportive and pity me that i have to undergo with all these issues... i also share this problem of mine with my direct staff as i told them my minds might be absent from time to time hence asked in advance that they should bear with me in next year... i guess we don't really have to share this procedure to those who is not affected by us day to day.... my husband also told his lady boss about the 'Plan' as time off might needed when we start the procedure...
 
Thanks gals for giving me moral support. I'll press on. Wnt touch hpt again and will just wait for BT.

Starbabies the laoshi mentioned here is a lady who does healing. She's tanny's laoshi. Her website is www.yoga-inn.com

Hope, im actually open to the idea of letting the coy know tat I'm gg thru IVF but the annoying part is, they made me feel as if I owe them cos 1) boss is so nice to let me go on HL, 2) colleague is so nice to cover my duties for me. Not that I deny their stand, I do acknowledge but dnt make me feel as if I owe them de Lah. Constantly reminding me. So irritating.
 
i1BB, i guess i just lazy to keep secret and have to think of reason to cover my absend-minded from time to time LOL. sekali, the story i share among them become two difference stories hmmm.....
more problems..
more stress... LOL
 
Hope, as long as u feel comfortable letting your boss n co workers know. I am (was). But now I no need to 交代to anyone Liao. Lagi better
 
karen,
I totally understand how u feel. Some people are plain insensitive de. Last time I got a friend who will tell me that she only try 3-4m and strike. Its a feeling of envy cum jealousy. Why other people are just so fertile??? Arghhhh!!!

Else is the grandmother asking, when are u having the next one huh? So and so already pregnant leh. Feel like slapping her lor. The worst is my hubby's uncle. Must have a boy hor... I have all grandsons, no granddaughters. Our family only produce grandsons. Damn pissed lor. Even my hubby is pissed with his uncle. If he is not an elder, we would have rudely told him to just shut up!
 
Star babies: should be angelic healing. When you call laoshi (Mdm Tan) she will only said is healing. She also teaches yoga. If you insterested, you can call to make appt with her.
 
Tickles: I just keep mum abt it. And when other ask I will just said making in factory. Just waited as time go by. They will stopped asking.
 
Star babies, medicated FET only uses progynova med? No other med needed b4 ET? Mind sharing why u did medicated instead of natural? Thks!
 
Babysmurf,
The old people just wouldn't stop asking. That time when I was ttcing for my #2. I hate gg for parties or gatherings and even CNy cos they just won't leave me alone. I feel upset when I hear news of so and so pregnant. Not that I dun feel happy for them but I felt sad for myself and kept asking why is it so difficult for me.

I think the grandma ask till my hubby tell her off. Told her not to ask me anymore. If got news will let her know.
 
LuvNhope, yes, only progynova was used. It's to help in the lining. I remembered cysts were detected then and Dr Loh had indicated to prescribe contraceptives before the start of the cycle to control the growth of the cysts. Luckily, in the end, there wasn't a need to as the cysts did not grow any further and had miraculously disappeared. I went for medicated FET as my menses went haywire after my first failed ivf. In a way, dr Loh said we will have more control of the cycle as he was not confident whether I'll ovulate. In a natural cycle, if you ovulated earlier, the cycle will have to be aborted. The downside of medicated FET is of cos you will have to pay more due to the medication.
 
LuvnHope... I am back to work today although suppose to be on HL today but new job so boh bian..having mild cramp so I am jus going to take things easy..

Well, didn't really get a chance to talk to Dr Tan during the ops as I was in pain with the medication to dilate the cervic and they put me to sleep shortly. Will be going for review in mid Jan..

When are you meeting him? for FET?
 
Thks StarBabies! I also donna whether my cycle will b affected after failed fresh. N very scared I'll miss ovulation window period, heheh... Dun wish to waste time. There's no med to trigger ovulation?

Mc, yeah, take it easy for now n give yourself time to rest. I'm meeting Dr Tan on 13 Jan to review failed fresh cycle n plan for FET.
 
tickles, babysmurf, i tried explained to my mom what is IVF quite number of times... old folk has problem to understand the procedure... LOL. she asked why having baby is so complicated! i ever drawn pictire to her LOL
i also told my sister in law, she is supportive, asks me to take thing easy not to harm my body too much.
my younger sis went thro IVF and successfully delivered a baby boy 2 years ago; but she never shared this with us, she told me later year when i told her that Dr found endo in my womb....
 
And I'm finally in my 2ww! Day 3! Been resting lots with some light walking around the neighborhood in the evening. Did you only eat bland, steamed food during this time or other stuff too?
 


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