Child Adoption

dream,
When my little with us her umbilical cord had dry up and drop already. I used mild 2 in 1 soap (hair and body) for her bathing.
For diaper, i'm using mamy poko it cost $17.80 for 52pcs for nb consider worth buy. In fact, i realised pampers brand for nb is very expensive and the quality wise is not as good as before.
I'm a SAHM so i taking care of her myself. I gain my nanny experience thru my nieces and nephews. Some need to refresh by my aunties and mom.
Just an advise don take it too hard....don too over protective with yr child with the products u used...just act on yr instincts. i believe yr mum used baby powder on u when u r a baby...look at u now still a healthy lady.
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Janella,
I tot pastor and church minister should be here to spread love. Adoption is giving love to those that need isn't it that's the point? Without adoption, abandon children will be left in orphanage without love.
Anyway...don u think that adopting should be the couple decision and not outsider to say. Adopting someone child to love and care is not a easy job. Not many people can do it...like u have said...those 2 men don go thru wat u have gone thru so y listen to them. Make yrself and hubby happy. If both of u think by adopting will make yr life happier then by all means go ahead. No one will understand how we go thru. Just listen to yrself.
U can view my blog for more interesting things happen between me and my little princess. Hope it will make look at adoption positively.
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iwantitvmuch

Thanks for your kind words. I feel very inspired.I fully identify myself with your feelings having gone through numerous ivf and iui failures and miscarriages.

I feel so irritated too when some friends say that once, I adopt, I will conceive a child of my one. I tell myself, why adopt then, if you can't consider the adopted child as your own? Such people will never understand!

Have you received any calls yet from Touch about the status of your HSR forms?

Dream and BlesswBB

Thanks for your kind words too. Dream, my family is very supportive too but I'm not sure about my husband's family. We don't plan to tell them yet. Only when the baby arrives, are we going to inform them.

Yes, BlesswBB, I am going to read your blog. What you said is very true.
 
Hi BlesswBB, I'm new in this thread. I'm planning to adopt @ lotus too... can tell me how much u pay?
And how's the payment like? partial or full pyt?
Thanks
 
hallo everyone! wah, i come back 2 this thread n realised got so much activity/discussion! I will slowly read n answer qns!

Juz an update:eek:ur daughter came hm on Thurs at 20days old n she's bn a real joy. My parents r totally in love with her! We baptised her in our church on Sun cos there happened 2 b a baptism svc so we squeezed in~haha! She was born 3kg n 49cm long so she's small compared 2 Blesswbb's bb! She has bn waking up abt 3times 4 milk @ nite altho with alice, she only drank twice. she now drinks at 12 or 1am then 3pm then 5+. With alice only woke up @ 3 or 4am to drink then at 6+. How abt u, blesswbb?

cant remember who asked but she was abt 17 days old when she had scans. PD said i can hv those scans if i prefer so i went with them. BlesswBb, r u going back to that serangoon pd or u hv another one?

iwantitvmuch, dream n janella, all the best! waiting for TOUCH to call 4 the interview is the longest wait. once interviews start, the process is super fast!
 
Janella,
Yes, you are understood here! luckily, we have this forum! Seems like all of us are having the same issues and we can really understand each other.

Yuli,
It is great to hear from you. I guess bb kept you very busy! and CONGRATS on having your bb home. It is a life changing event! and great to hear that she has already won your parent's love!

Seems you have managed to accomplish quite a lot of things in less than a week! Are you going to celebrate her 1-month? What milk is she taking now?

Blesswbb,
What about you? Did you celebrate her 1-month? thanks for the tip on mamy poko! Otherwise, really love your blog! your bb girl is really cute. Seems like she is growing quite fast. Post more pictures!
 
Yuli, CONGRATS!! Wow, so exciting!!
I haven't sent my formsto Touch yet but it will be completed soon. We just need a medical checkup and we will be done!
 
Yuli

Congratulations! Am so happy for you1 You are really enjoying motherhood.

By the way, roughly how long did you have to wait before you were called up for interviews? Did you adopt your baby after the final HSR report was ready or did you get your baby before the HSR process was completed?

Thanks for your wishes!

Dream

Yes, I'm really so glad that we have this forum.

BlesswBB

I haven't read your blog yet. Am looking for it.
 
I remember someone asked how much the medical scans cost. i think i paid about $200+ at Mt Alvernia. Gleneagles also does these scans but much more expensive lah.

Janella - TOUCH called me about 3 weeks after I sent in the HSR. Then the interview was done 1week after & the home visit about 1 week after the interview. The approval came about 2+ weeks after the home visit.

I was very kiasu. Although I had called Lotus & Joyful Parenting to check the adoption process/rates etc, I did not engage any agency until I got the HSR approval. If I remember correctly, we are not supposed to have a foreign child in our care before our paperwork is done ALTHO, I was told that once the assessors do your home visit, it is almost certain you'll pass your HSR.

My suggestion is to let Alice know once your home visit is done so tha she can start the look out for you. Alice is super efficient! Her contacts seem to find babies quite quickly so give her a call only when you know your HSR approval is on the way (ie after the home visit). Cos you don't want to view a bb, fall in love with her/him then have to worry about the interviews/home visit etc. Am I making sense?

Someone also asked earlier if we viewed one or more babies before we made a decision. From what I gather so far (from this forum as well as what I understand from Alice), altho Alice says you can view bb first then if got 'connection' then you can proceed to medical etc., if no 'connection', then view other babies. It does seem like most couples decide on the 1st bb they view. For us, our daughter was the only bb we met.

The other good thing I like about Alice is she brings in 1 bb at a time (not a whole nursery full of them). I think that's nice cos she can look into bb's needs/take care of bb etc.

Dream - my bb is also on Similac (like Blesswbb's dauhter).

It just occured to me that if all of you finish your HSRs over the next month, you'll all probably be mummies by year end! (assuming you're using Alice who's super fast, so fast until I got little time to prepare!) If that happens, our babies will probably all be born in the same year!!!

BlesswBB, your bb very cute leh. So much hair! and such deep set eyes!
 
SWEETCL05,
Welcome to the thread. I think most of us here is using Lotus...
Total cost is abt $25k. After u have chose the baby u want...u need to pay the 1st payment of $15k...thereafter will be the documentation and legal fee...which the 2nd payment will comes in $5k...another final payment will be another $5k.
 
Yuli,
Thanks for answering all the questions...most likely, I was the one "bombarding" you with questions! Thought I scared you away and that's why you never replied!!! AhAhAh!

Agree with you that should only contact agent once everything is settled. Otherwise, will be really stressful!

Yuli and Blesswbb,
Some more questions on shopping! So, seems like Similac is the popular milk. have you managed to find out where you can get the best deal? What about trolley and baby chair? Have you bought yours? Any recommendation?

Otherwise, I bought a playpen but did not manage to install it! Any advice much appreciated
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SweetCL05
Welcome here! Share with us your story!
 
yuli,
Welcome back...we miss u hehehe
Wow...u enjoying every minutes as a mummy huh...welcome to motherhood.
Hey...talking abt 3times feed at nite time...u can try giving her some water with grapewater to extend the milk time. Btw, how much milk is yr bb taking now? Mine is taking 3oz only even thou is already 1mth old. I try extending her milk timing by giving her water on her 2nd feed instead of milk during middle of the night. So by the time she ask for milk is already another 2hrs...so by the 3rd feed she will ask at 7am.

I not going back the PD at serangoon cos is too far away from us. I took her to our nearby PD which Alice intro. We stay near Alice so she knows good PD around.
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dream,
I just celebrated my bb 1mth old last Sunday. She is the centre of attraction. Everyone loves her. I'm so happy. I will be launching her 1mth old photos in my blog soon.
Btw, don give yr baby Similac unless given advise as i understand Similac is heaty. Not all babies can take it.
Don buy baby chair 1st unless they start taking solid food. My stroller was given as a gift by my cousin...she bgt it fm OG...cost abt $290.
 
Yuli,
Will u be sharing yr bb photos with us? I very excited to see her too. I was wondering...is yr bb the same age as mine?
 
Hi blesswbb,.... ur baby looks so adorable... i can't wait to have my own too....
thk i must quickly go for medical chkup.

Hi Yuli,
can share ur baby's photo with us?

Hi next time we can meet up for tea-chat session, and bring our babies along... hehe...
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Blesswbb,
Really love your new pictures. Also, love the last pictures. She looks tired (after her bg day) but yet very happy. She really has big eyes. I think she knew she was the centre of attraction!

Yuli,
Yes, please share your baby photo with us or you can PM us if you prefer.

Sweet CL05
Really agree with you that we should try to meet. I think when kids grow up it is good that they have friends that are adopted so they won't feel different from the rest.

Otherwise, as the ladies recommend, it is better that you complete your HSR before engaging agency. Otherwise, you will feel very stressed...so, just concentrate on your HSR now..step by step...alright? I know it is tough...

Iwanitvmuch,
How are you? Managed to do your medical check up?

Janella,
I hope you made some progress on the HSR. Don't delay! Set yourself deadlines, ok?
 
sweetcl05, dream,
U r right, we should meet up our kids. I also think this will not let the child feel they r any different.

Dream,
Any news on yr bb yet? Me excited for u. Can't wait to gather with our kids
 
Hi Blesswbb, I think our daughters are a couple of days apart. Mine was born 11 Jul. Yours?

Re: buying of bb things. I only bought all the bb stuff the weekend b4 I knew she might be coming home with us. I got cot, bottles, steriliser, car seat and some clothes. I haven't gotten stroller yet cos she's still small enuff to carry. I heard from friends that it's btr to bring bb along and let her try out the stroller so that you can decide which one you want.

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Yuli,
Your daughter is BEAUTIFUL! She also has big eyes. She really looks like an angel. You really must be happy!

I am still struggling on my shopping. Trying not to spend too much. Luckily, I kept quite a lot of things from my daughter but all the bulky things (and hence, more expensive things) have already been given away! I think the 2 big items are the car seat and trolley. I want to look for those car seats from birth to 4 years old..but very exp..

Blesswbb,
Hope I have good news to share with you soon. Just crossing fingers that everything goes well. Will let you know when things are more firmed up...Remember I am kind of superstitious! especially, after the last incident...seems like things are moving so slow!

I have cancelled my trip (forego my airplane ticket) and really hoping that the time will be well spent!
 
Yuli,
Yr bb is very cute. She got BIG eyes too. Mine is 8 Jul...only 3 days apart. She looks very alert...so u celebrating her 1mth?
I tot so when i din buy stroller...but as she gain weight my back is very painful..so no choice got to get 1. I'm also using the sarong kind of baby carrier...she likes sleeping in it. She feel safe and secure.
 
dream,
ok...hope to hear good news soon.
I feel that baby is easily frighten so better not use the car seat if she is less than 3mths. Some of the things not necessary to get til they are older as u don hv the chance to bring them out yet. Especially with H1N1, u will prefer to let yr bb to stay at home.
Wow...what a waste...but anyway..spending time with the new member of the family is more impt.
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BlesswBB,
Really feeling stressed...not really sure when bb will be home...and may be I have forgone my holidays for nothing...was supposed to go Phuket this morning till wednesday! with my sister and her family! planned that trip since march!

I have to cancel my leave as well and try to explain change of plans to my colleagues...luckily, boss not around...stress, again!

agree with you that it is better not to bring bb around too much especially with H1N1 but still need to get car seat for Dr. visit. It is compulsory in Singapore, right?
 
Hi Yuli, ur baby look so cute...
Hi Dream, I'm also looking forward to see ur baby soon......
Thk i'll be the last cos still haven't submit my HSR, hehe... so envy to see ur babies... they're so cute...
 
dream,
although is compulsory but i doubt pple is using it. I saw many pple using it when bb is abt 6mth old. Why not u wait until bb is here then decide. Do u know that when i send bb to PD for check up Alice let me carry her in my arms thru out the whole journey in her car.
Relax dream...don too stress up
 
Blesswbb,
Trying to relax but it is difficult. Seems like there is some more delay. So, not really sure when my bb can be home. Sigh...
 
Yuli,
So happy that the baby has arrived so quickly. I remember that we went to the pre-adoption workshop together! If I've followed you, I would be a mother too!!! Now, I understand the house visit. As it may happen so soon, I have to prepare my bosses because I want to be able to take my adoption leave of 2 months. Also, I want to be able to leave work earlier if baby arrives.

Dream,
I haven't done the medical check yet. I realise that the process is so fast. So, I'm going to time it going forward. I really want to give the baby my full attention when he or she arrives.
 
Dream,
I know how u feel. I experience dat before. Just think dat the right bb is not here yet. Don't think too much. U shd hv went to the trip to relax instead of being here so tense.
 
iwantitvmuch,
I thought adoption leave is only 1 month. Has it been changed to 2 months or your company gives you more. I am not sure whether I am entitled to it since my bb would not be singaporean...have to talk to my boss but he is away...

BlesswBB,
That's always at the back of my mind but if we went, I am not really sure whether i could have enjoyed my holidays. Also trying to save money as bb expenses are quite high. and of course, saving my leave as well to bond with bb! Luckily, went holidays last june!
 
Iwant2bmum,
Ya adoption leave is only 1mth unless u taking 1mth under yr ac. Y don't u just go thru the HSR approval 1st since it will valid for 1yr. Bb comes to us fast but it will not always b the case. Just get all prepared & wait till u ready u can call Alice to look out bb for u. At least will not b dat stress.
 
Dream,
Understand what u meant. During my recent holiday I also cannot enjoy as I keep thinking whether my bb will b taken away by someone. I think u won't b allow to take adoption leave as according to mcys rules bb must gain citizenship then allow to apply for adoption leave. That is y I decided to resign to take care of her for a yr before going back to work. Provided that I won't adopt again next yr hehe
 
it differs from company to company. You should check with the HR. For my company, it is like that:
A female employee will be granted adoption leave of 2 months(inclusive of public holidays and non-working days) for an adopted child, if at the point the adoption leave commences the child is 6 months of age or younger and the employee has permanent physical custody of the child.

If on such date the adopted child is older than 6 monhts, the employee will be eligible for adoption leave of 1 calendar month.

Government funding is available to employers who provide adoption leave. The criteria for government-funded adoption leave are as follows:
-the adopted child is, or is registered as a Singapore citizen, before 6 months of age.
-the adoption leave is completed prior to the child turning 6 months
-employee has less than 4 living children



So, now, I have a question to shasha, how long does it take for the the child to be registered as a Singapore citizen??
 
BlesswBB,
I think i will only feel "safe" when bb is at home and all paperwork is done. My daughter is crying almost everyday as she is waiting for her sibling! She can't understand why it takes so long. She tells me "just go to an orphonage"! She will sometimes throw tantrum after her crying as she thinks it may work. I wish it was that simple!

Iwantitvmuch,
Agree with Blesswbb that you should just go ahead and have everything prepared. So, when you are ready, you just need to call the agency. Somehow, life do NOT go as we plan and it is better to be safe than sorry. Sometimes, govt may change rule and that may affect us. If I am not wrong, HSR is a new request and you never know what will come next. The queue for HSR is also very long and I think it can only get longer. So, even if you submit now, I think it will take you at least 3 months to complete.

Otherwise, you must be working for a big MNC, most likely American! You are lucky that your company is so generous. So, better stick with them until you adopt!

Blesswbb and Iwantitvmuch
I am not really sure for my case. I think it really depends on my boss and HR on whether they want to do something about it. I am hoping that they will give me some paid adoption leaves as they currently provide 4 month maternity leave for non-singaporean as well. If I am not wrong, 4-month is only for Singaporean baby.

I am also not sure on the childcare leave...the 6-day supposed to be for singaporean child as well...
 
dream,
if that the case did u check with Alice? What did Alice says? R u still waiting for the same bb that Alice has shown u the pics? Can u request for another bb instead?
R u sure childcare leave is only meant for Singaporean child? Pls check MCYS website for more details. I think if the mother is Singaporean u should be given the childcare leave provided the father is a PR. Y not u check again?
 
Blesswbb,
I hope things would settle by Monday. Bb has been diagnosed with jaundice and has been hospitalised. Quite stressed as can't do anything and hope that they are doing a good job in Malaysia. I just hope bb was here and could be taken care in Singapore instead. So, now crossing fingers that bb recovers quickly.

As for childcare leave, I checked and I am also entitled to the 6- day once adoption is finalised. So hope it can be done fast so that I can enjoy them this year. Also entitled to infant unpaid leave but that 's no big deal. No pay!

Finally bought and found the bath tub I wanted! That was the same one I used for my daughter. It has a base for the infant so I won't feel so scared to give bb a bath. Still looking around for good deals on car seat and stroller.
 
ok, will definitely keep you updated! Managed to buy stroller and car seat today! Seems like our shopping is over...just waiting for bb now!
 
dream! m excited n happy for u. I didnt realise u hb already identified a child! Praying with u that bb is well taken care of.

Janella, r u also done with HSR n now waitg 2 view bb?

Iwantitvmuch, i didnt realise we were @ same pre-adoption talk. Did u go for the disclosure wshop? i thot it was pretty good.

Blesswbb, tomorrow we celebrate bb's first mth. Hope she wun b too over stimulated by the no. of relatives. Hope she can sleep tom nite!
 
Tomorrow your bb will be "star". You must be so excited! Enjoy the day and remember to take lots of pictures!
 
Yuli, yes, I remember that you told me about that you went to the pre-adoption talk and you found it useful. I didn't go to the disclosure workshop. What is it about?
I'm interested to know what is the waiting period for baby from China. Any idea, anyone?
 
iwanitvmuch,
I think the queue is very long..2 to 3 years, if I am not wrong. Only 2 agencies doing...including TOUCH.

Yuli,
How was the celebration? Exhausted?

Blesswbb,
How is your long week end?

Shasha,
How are you? Haven't heard from you for a long time.

Janella,
How are you? ANy update on your HSR? How far are you?
 
dream,
take it easy on the bb...just hope bb will get well there b4 coming in.
This long weekend very tired as bb has been waking up in the middle of the nite crying...donno what happen...tried apply medicated oil on her in case she has upset stomach. My ex-colleague is having her 1mth celebration for her bb too and i m invited. Most of my ex-colleague will be there. They are excited to see my bb too..keep reminding me to bring her along
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Yuli,
How was the celebration? Can bb sleep well? Mine can't sleep well after her big day.

iwanitvmuch,
Heard have to wait very long...as china side don easily approve the adoption.
 
Blesswbb,
Just crossing fingers that everything goes well. As for your bb, have you tried to give her pacifier? It may help. Otherwise, bb will usually "replay" the events of the day when she sleeps. So, if she had a busy/stressful days, she may have nightmares at night. Try not to overstimulate her too much...
 
dream,
ya...gave her pacifier but one for awhile as when the pacifier drop out she will start crying again. Both me and my hb is very shag...
Most of her time is sleep eat so din have the chance to play with her. Even try letting her sleep later but her crying will wins all.
Brought her to Doc for the 2nd jab today, she's a brave girl..din cry much...very happy with her weight....She gain 1kg in 1 mth. Now at 4.6kg.

So how's yr bb? Is she here already?
 
I have gone for my medical checkup. Yay! Doc will be able to return the form to me next week. I should be able to submit the form next week.

Ladies, I have a question. I have been reading the past threads and some said that Malaysian babies are mixed of Chinese and Malays. Is this true?? What are your experiences?
 
BlesswBB,
What I did for my daughter was to put a few pacifiers on the bed..so, when she woke up w/o pacifier, she would look for them and put it in her mouth! that saved my sleep..but then, she got used to have 2 pacifiers...one in her mouth and another one in her hand..but of course, she was much older. i don't think your one month old can do that!

Regarding bb, I had a breakdown yesterday. Really can't stand the empty promises and the wait. I really hope bb can be here...had to cancel leave again today!

iwantitvmuch,
Congrats! you are one step closer!

As for the other question, I am not really sure. I guess have to trust agency...most often, can only confirm origin of mother...
 
Oh Dream, you had another disappointment?? Oh dear! What did the agent say?? If it is valid, have to give the agent some time. Even I am disappointment. Don't fret, the agent is working on it. It's up to the mother.
 
iwantitvmuch, can we do checkup in the evening?

Dream... don't be disappointed, abit patient.. hope to see ur baby post soon

Hi Yuli, din't hear frm u, any photos of ur BB's Big Day???
 
SWEET, might not be feasible to do the checkup in the evening because they have to send your blood to the lab if the clinic has no lab. else, no reason why the checkup can't be done at night. Process is quite fast. Better to go to your regular GP.
 


hi ladies!

Dream, sorry 2 hear u got a setback. Is bb not discharged yet? Hope things will work out smoothly soon.

Sweet, gd 2 hear fr u again! Chkup can b done @ yr GP so anytime also can.

Janella, hvnt heard fr u in a while? Hope all's well with u.

My bb turned a mth today. M bringing 2 PD 4 her 2nd jab tom. She was alert 4 the early part of her full-mth party but wen the crowd got bigger (i hv plenty relatives!), she fell asleep! which was gd la. She woke up later 4 milk then slept alright that nite. phew.

Blesswbb, chk with u. Wen i brot bb home, Alice gave me a can of formula n a small scoop. She told me dun use the scoop given inside the formula cos harder 2 measure. 1 of her small scoop is for 1 oz of water - easier 2 measure. i hv bn using her scoop but 2day i found that bb kept wantg 2 feed. bb normaly drinks 4oz then nxt fd is 3hrs later but 2day within, 1.5hrs she's screaming 4 milk. i tried giving her water but that made her angrier! Did Alice give a smaller scoop 2 u too? r u using it? I will probably revert 2 the scoop given inside the formula n measure according 2 the instructions given, then c how.

iwantitvmuch, fantastic! med chkup done! can hand up forms already!
 
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