CAN I TELL MY SISTER IN LAW OFF?

C

celestgloomy

New Member
i know many people have problems with the in laws and their bad remark.

my sister in law keep saying things like.. what if baby is not boy in front of my mother in law and my hubby-- althogh sex of baby is by the sperm of the men, i just dun understand why she must do it in front of my MIL.

Or she will interfere in my hubby and my holidays, how much we spend.. but when it is a family trip, she expects my hubby to pay when she always think she earns alot.. but when paying money, she will push to my hubby.even eat also, she will expects my hubby to pay. it is fine for me to let him pay, but why must she interfere in our things like.. our overseas trips and how much we spend, or my hubby buy me any present or something.

her hubby can buy her things but my hubby cannot buy me things.

she has her own family and keeps quiet abt her things but always ask n ask abt our things and makes comments... and in front of my hubby act like so nice to me.. but when my hubby is not around. she will say stupid things and act until.. so innocent when she purposely say offensive things.

i wonder if i shld tell her off once day and ask her to mind her own business.

would it be too rude to tell her off?

because she is older sister of my hubby, she always say "help me look after, help control ur hubby" like as if.. SHE IS SO BIG deal.. who needs her to look after when i can do it myself..

i really feel like asking her to mind her own business and if she is so free, go and try to mend things up with her mother in law in stead of finding problems with me.

just venting my angry!
 


it really depend on wat is ur hb stand on this. if he dun mind his sister kpo-ing and if he is close to her..then u will become a sinner for telling his sister off le....
 
my hubby ask me to ignore her.
but how to ignore. she is towards me now.. but in front of others she always act like so kind to me and so frenly to me
 
Treat her as invisible then. Don't even bother to talk to her unless necessary. Can be "cold" towards her when she is too friendly to you.

Sooner or later, she will get the hint and leave you alone.

This was how I treated my SIL previously. Now we only communicate when deemed necessary. I feel relieve and happy in fact.
 
either u treat her transparent or 'slap' her once hard hard... u asking if u will be rude to her?? in the first place, i think she is not polite to you!! don understand why must bully ppl like tat????
 
Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Successful People" has a very good remedy to this situation.

"You can't control what others do to you but you can control how you react." You can choose to be nice to yourself by not reacting negatively (angry or otherwise) to her reaction.

弟子规 takes it to a deeper level and you can find out how to live a happiness and fulfilling life. Google it to find out more or PM me if you want a copy of the DVD.
 
Ignore ignore ignore. That is what I did. I have a lot of SILs. They love to know what my hubby buys me, where we go for holidays, etc, like yours. When my oldest child was born, one of them even called me up to ask for the details on how much we spent on the pregnancy and the delivery!. I promotly passed the phone to hubby, and told him (withou covering the phone):
Your sister would like to know how much we spent on the medical. I leave it to you to answer.
;P
Another SIL loves to know what my hubby buys me - Is this what my brother got this for you/ how much is it?

I ignored them, and refused to visit them. I stay far away from them...now years later, they realise they could do me nothing, and they are very cordial with me now.

Try it.
 
this is an old thread but man i know how you feel

my sil is also like that. she is younger but no different act like so tua pai. like to hint me cannot spend her bro's money, she said after marriage the woman must not be materialistic, cannot go shopping, must be a dutiful wife and don't use the husband's money

yet she always want her brother to spend money on her? want him to buy her things? when he don't buy enough she shoot him? then will use one present she bought for him very long time ago to blackmail him so he feel guilty?

plus she LOVE to interfere with MY kid. cannot stop meddling. and recently she went to uni (yes so young but so obnoxious) and tried to get me to do HER assignment for her coz she is SUPER lazy and she is damn selfish and self-indulgent

sigh. okie lah she has good points and can be nice sometimes, but most of the time feel like strangling her

worst thing is, live under the same roof
 
Some people only have to deal with MIL, some sadly has to deal with MIL and SIL.

I can't stand my SIL who is the elder sister of my husband.

To say all the stupid things she had done and is still doing will take forever cos the list is just too long.

I tolerate her and have not quarrelled with her but instead I will tell my husband my unhappiness with her.

She's just testing my patience till I flare up and scold her downright one day.
 
me too, have a long list here.. u r lucky that u can share your unhappiness with your hubby. mine will just say i am being too sensitive...
 
i dilike both my selfish sil and my bro who only listens to her! story wise, i dun wana say liao but i can only say when i need help they are not there. wife being selfish and instead of helping his sister who needs help, he chooses to listen to his wife! wang en fu yi! they forgot how i helped them last time. though we still tok now, its jus for show. next time when my parents migrate to another world, we will contact less. to me, my bro is a redudant figure at home. he never really helped me thro out my life.
 
hey teach you one method.. next time if she talk to you again esp when is only you alone..u take out the handphone start recording and see if she dare to say anything...
1. do it in front of her...say must record must record coz must let all my friends know how how nice my Sis in law treat me (which include ur hubby)
2. do it discreetly then let your hubby hear it later

ok
 
I used to stay with my SIL few years back, that period was terrible. Had a few big quarrels with her, she hated me so much that she even cut off my pics in the photos which I took with my son, only left 'my son' in the photos. No matter how she quarrelled with her own sis, she never cut away her photo.

My MIL and FIL passed away one after another and she is left alone now. Keep telling my son and hubby that she wants to <font color="ff0000">'tag along'</font> when we go for holidays. I thought she can't stand the sight of me, and yet, now???? wants to TAG ALONG !!!!! I gave her a chance to tag along last yr when we went to KL. wow lau, i regret like mad man !!!! She is of no help at all, rejected us outright when me and hubby asked her to look after my younger boy (about 2 plus) just for 2 hrs cos we wants to go for SPA. She can always stay in the hotel room with my boy, don't really have to look after, right??? worst of all, she 'chop' the biggest hotel room, she didn't even have the courtesy to ask if we mind, she just said "I want the biggest room !!".

From there onwards, i swear not to let her 'tag along' when we go on holidays. Every now and then, she kept asking my elder son whether we're planning for any holidays, when my son told her "don't know leh", she would said things like "u all don't want to tell me right ?", last week, she even go straight to my hubby and asked him where are we planning to go this jun holidays. aiyo, she very desperated lei!!!! <font color="ff0000">feel like slapping her and kick her butt !!</font> She is like a ghost, just can't get rid of her.

the other time, she went bangkok with her aunt, she lower the aircon temp till the lowest, till the old aunt almost frozen to death, she so damm selfish !!!!!!!!!!

My in laws only stayed in my life for 10 years but this 'pain-in-the-ass' SIL will 'interfer my peaceful life' till god knows when, sigh........
 
moca,
I have same experience with you!!
I too have a sil as irritating as yours!! Oops, mine not only 1, but 5!!!
They like to interfere me and my hubby's life!! if we never back home on weekend, sure they will try to sms or video call my hubby!!
When my girl fever to 39.6 celcius, they even expect us to go back early nxt morning!!
Long story to tell. Not only my sil, but mil also as irritating as all the 5 sils!!!
hmm, i think the best way is don't mix with them too much lol..nowadays even if i go back to my mil's place i will try to keep a distance from them..
 
toCelest!! I support u! I fxxx my SIL off coz she is too pervert!!
She is a single mother with two daughters, actually i pity her and even try to nice to her. But she is doing too much stun which she wan me and my hb go the same path as her.. she bullied me wen I was preg!

Lucky end up I fxxx her off and even quarrel with my in laws coz of her.. NW me, my son and my hb move out of my in law hse which we currently stay at my mum pl while waiting for our new hse to come..

Sometimes SIL all like bitches!!!
 
Hi carol,

wow pian, yr SILs have nothing better to do is it, too free???? every now and then monitor u and yr hubby's movement. I also don't mix with her much, but my hubby very 'sayang' his precious sis, always invite her to our home for meals. Few weeks back, he even said he wants to ask her along when we go on our next trip, i felt like telling him to go with his precious sis without me!!!!!!!!! My hubby is those MCP type which never listen to me, very self-centered. So now, i don't look forward to anymore trips, thinking the stupid sis going to tag along.

As she is alone, she asked my elder son to bunk with her. I felt holidays is the time to bond our family, in the end, because of her, my son always not with us, fyi, in our last trip, most of the time, she shops on her own, dragging my boy with her. Only meals time, then we will be together. No point right?
 
Hi Susanna / Avocado,

Yes, she is still single and available, She used to quarel with every one in the family day and night b4 my in laws passed away. Only persons she didn't quarrel with is the mom and my hubby, cos they both are those quiet type whom rather gave way to her.

haha, match-make? this ever came across my mind, i used to joke with my friend to introduce my SIL to her uncle but she denied saying that his mom might not able to stand her character and die earlier!
 
I think the best is not to be paisay n to tell her straight in the face,

Since those who tell tales to hb will be in losing end, go ahead n be straight forward in a diplomatic manner, 对事不对人。 just be straight forward n stand by ur point if u think u right but just dun be stupid to tell hb.

If u think u r right, don't be afraid to tell the fact.
 
My is not SIL mine is an aunt.... SMS &amp; call me &amp; my bro ask what we doing, where we going, go out together, new year countdown go club together??? Why nvr reply? Is it ignoring her??? She is nearly 60... Me &amp; my bro sweat....
 
Hi, I tried to follow some tips here on how to survive &amp; accept in-laws, and things are improving although once in a while I encounter new challeges.
 
My sil n I have completely zero topics in common, regardless is it work, family, religion, etc.. but yet my mil expects the two of us to talk. Any mummies out there will try strive a conversation with your sil just to accommodate to your Mil's wish?
 
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