Am I really 'suay' ? All my maids cannot last > 5 mths....

ay33

Member
hi mummies, juz want to vent out some frustration...i'm a full time wrkg mum, i chg 6 maids in 15 mths, tried indon, filipino but the longest 1 only stayed with us for 5 mths ! All of them cannot or not willing to take instruction & insist to do things their own way. Some due to fault biodata (ie less tahn 23 yrs old & childish). Some like to talk back or black face. & some are really forgot to bring their brain here to wrk, either always absent minded (blur all the time, break things in the hse almost everyday), or, u remind them 1000 times, they still cannot flw. Juz wondering am i really tat bad luck, every time cannot select a gd maid despite chg a few agt... very stress...feel like fighting at the battle field all the time..rushing fm wrk, rushing to tk dinner/shower, making bb to sleep...Smtimes i'm wondering whether i'm a monster after scolding the maid & I start to hate myself for losing the cool. Does anyone out there who manage to get a good helper & can u pls share with me yr secret how to live harmony/communicate wif yr helper ? Pls advc, many tahnks !
 


hi ay33, u r not alone.. I am at my 3rd maid aldy... feel like giving up.. the longest one last less dan 3 mths. 1st one, scare my children with ghost talk../talk back/ always on the phone, 2nd one after initial 1mth starts to chg. dun look after the bb. ask her to look after children, she really jus 'look' doesnt move wheb bb finger get caught in the door or elder boy whacking bb. hsewok is a mess.. 3rd one, we suspect beat bb. told us the agent told her no need to do hsework and recently starts to go on hunger strike. nw looking for the 4th one... very siann . we r nv nasty to dem.. always talk courtesy to dem yet bcome like we r the maid, got to see their face. sweet talk for dem to eat...
 
hi ay33

totally understand how you feel.... the worst is that MOM is protecting maids and not us.... we go thru all the heartpain, mental torture and yet govt stands on their side.

i was like you, so darn stressed up from work, and still have to be caught between hubby, mum and maid(mum gaja maid look after kids). almost really went crazy. now i work part time, maid and kids stay at home with me, no need to ferry them to mum's every morning. not so stressed with time but stressed with money cos my income halved...

my 4 maids all filipino, worst is the 2nd really no brain and drove me nuts, 3rd is too smart and always dumping money problems on us. 4th is ex-quatar, still ok but dun expect too much, as long as she takes good care of kids(got 70/100 happy already).

all i hope is that my younger turns 2 and off he goes to cc with brother and i can be maidless... i still continue with my part time and be the maid. no need to worry about kena fly airplane etc.

i was just thinking about the childcare subsidies, govt will up to S$300 this month right? last time S$150, son goes childcare and falls sick, end up subsidies also used to pay for medical. govt just helped us channel the "subsidies" into doc's pocket. all i hope is that childcare fees dun increase and we as parents will finally be able to see some savings.
 
btw, my fren recommend that get ex-middle east(must finish contract) cos there very strict. but hor, heard from my maid, her fren(last time same employer in quatar) now change employer like change clothes in singapore....

seems like got no fool proof method.
 
hi AY33, u r not alone, me too, my veri 1st fili wk 5 yrs wiz me n aft went home, tk 1 fili, hiao, brain left in dustbin, steal $$, hp non-stop, veri hiao, hsewk horrible - 4 mths, den 1 siao myanmar - 3 mths plus, going 2 b trsf soon, replacement coming next mth. Dun no how d replacement wl turn out to b. we communicate wiz these 2 d same way we comm wiz our 1st fili maid, courteous n no black face but tey r d ones who shown black face. Verdict = quality of maids nowadays r bad.

Hi Gracian, agree wiz u, we so stressed n heartpain n yet no one sympathized wiz us, why shud xxm symphathized wiz d maids? we r d ones suffering n heartpain! i heard tat ex mid east veri hiao n demanding.
 
hi,
thx for all yr sharings. I hv 1 filipino maid, married with 2 kids & she told my mum she is a lesbian !! My bb girl share a rm wif her & got 1 time she always cry at 10pm (the time tat the maid go to bed/sleep). I got freak out & trf her. Almost spent all my leave & hubby took turn to take half day leave & care for bb. The replacemnt indon maid turned out like sxxt, gv us more problem rather than solve our problem...& her BO so strong tat my girl scream whenever she come close to her. My mum stay wif me but she 68 yrs old liao, got heart but no energy to look after an active 15 mths old. Hubby & my mum agst the idea to send bb to child care as worry tat may get illness or she cry non-stop. I hv colleague who told me tat she brot her son bk hm aft 2 wks at child care as her son always sick & always cry & unhappy. Sigh...really sian...how to gv birth to more kids with such stress ? We kanna scolding by bosses like hell in office but maids are so precious tat we cant even scold them. My hse recently got bed bug & i spent abt $300 to eng pest ctrl to get rid of them...not to mtn those sleepless nite for kissing by the bed bugs, my mum sd she has lived 68 yrs but nvr encounter this b4, she suspect sm of the maid brot these bugs into our hm. If stay at hm wif the maid, i think i will die of high blood pressure. Cant afford to quit the job as nid to support the young & the old (parents). & the medical fees here is no joke. So hv to spend extra $ to buy insurance. We are like sandwhich. So sad, hoping to hear sm happy stories but end up still so many unhappiness abt maids. Me is waiting for my nxt fili replmnt, well, i can only say 'hope for the best, prepared for the worst."
 
AY33, yr two maids reali horrible, scari leh. u can try cc leh. i sent my 2 kids to cc n my son started at 15 mths plus eventhough my 1st good fili maid was wiz me then as i find tat they dun learn much at home wiz d maid. my kids cried n do not want to go cc but for their own good, we hv to b hard hearted. Now my daughter is in P1 liao n my son still in k1 in cc, they coped well in cc. yes, they fall sick veri often in cc for the 1st yr n aft tat, they r okie, medical fees veri high, each kid can see doctor sometimes two to three times a mth at $ 100 ++ per kid each time but lucki for me, my company fully paid medical fees for kids n spouse too, so i not so siong lor. My new maid coming next mth, i oso dun no good or not, juz hope for d best lor
 
Seems like many of us FTWM having maid problems. Previous Filipino maid worked for 4 yrs. She was really fantastic, cook well and take good care of children... many of our relatives and friends envy us for having such a good maid.

However, after she left us to get married. We are in total disaster. Maids have been changing and changing...each last not more than 2 mths. Money and time spent but still could not get a good one!

Now still waiting for the replacement ! The current one always gives trouble and mum keeps complaining to me abt her... Sigh !

Juz wanna to vent my frustration here lah...
 
melissa lee, ya lor, after my 5 yrs fili maid left to retire for good, yr prev n my prev were old timers ma, d bttr batch ones ... d quality nowadays going down d drain ... we are oso in total disaster ... now my new replacement just came on monday ... keeping my fingers crossed. Hv yr replacement come yet?
 
I fully understand.... my 1st maid gave me black face and when she angry with us for scolding her, she purposely break things in the hse and dun tell us

My 2nd maid claims car sickness whenever we go out ... and can you imagine when she told my agent, she actually told us maybe we can don't go out so often! Ridiculos....why do we change our lifestyle becoz of her and she is so slow.....

I say if not you stay at home look after my 2 kids (3 yrs & 2 mths bb) as she cannot stand carsick so cannot go my MIL place .... she cannot handle....then I say if take care bb and cook for us in the evening... she say cannot cook dun know how... and she ask us to tabao!!!!!

I am looking for replacement.... hope turn out to be better....
 
I heard that nowsaday maids are being taught that they could choose their employer. If they are unhappy, they could just change for good. Unfair to employer right ?

Agency will be very happy cos they earn every time we replace a new one. My agency dun even bother to counsel them. Tell me that if I'm not happy just get a replacement. Frustrated !!!
 
melissa, yes, tat wat mxm tot d maids when new maids go for training, not happy, ask for trsfr, chg emply, tat is why d maids so yayapapaya and qualiti going down d drain coz d maids nvr try their best at all lor. lttl things they ask for trsfr, even my retarded siao tong tong burmese see ghost maid oso know how to ask to chg emply.

Me oso keep my fingers cross, praying hard, my new fili maid wl work out, coz i m too tired of chng maids liao. Let us hope the best for each other leh, we can not be so suay all d time leh.

Jean, ya, mb tey do on purpose, wah liao, time u look for replacement liao. haiz, all complaints abt maids, is there still any good maids still ard?
 
my new replacemnt filipino maid came here for abt 10 days. My mum always complain abt her & my 15 mth old girl doesn't like her at all. She's not keen to look after bb. I tried to show her how to make my bb to sleep, she saw me went inside the room, she went out & clean the table, like relief to be able to escape. She don't even bother to note my bb meal times & nap time despite i told her so. She can even sit on the sofa & read book while my mum look after my girl. My mum called me to scold her (my mum cant spk english). Never try to cook my girl porridge or cook, despite my mum show her. Waiting for my mum to cook for her. She spent 20 min in the room but unable to chg pyjamas for my girl. My mum look like the maid. Start looking for ano 1 again...sian...
 
AY33, huh, new maid dun work out agn ... haiz, i m keeping my fingers crossed n praying hard. Aft d two sxxt maids, i not onli close two eyes liao, mouth oso taped up wiz plaster, i dare not even tell them off, my new fili maid kept d water for steam iron in d container since mon, i saw yday, i oso dare not say haiz, forgot to off the main switch for d iron, whole hse in a mess, asked her to tidy kitchen, she re-organise to a big mess, asked her whether she ck half boiled egg before, she said yes but she asked me aft do half boiled eggs, i fry again ???, clothes fm mon still nvr keep in cabinet until this morn, asked her whether she cleaned all d bedrms, she said yes but d dust is thick as we hv bn away for hols, asked her to heat up the tiffin food for dnr, she onli heat up d leftover noodles fm lunch, asked to fry d ham for 1 - 2 mins, she fried until burnt oso continue frying, asked her to tidy d dressing tables, she re-organise into a big mess, haiz ... finali kept some of d clothes yday but keep until d whole drawer broke oso she dun no. Tis morn, my dd called, want to eat hard boiled eggs, told maid to mk, she dunno what is hard boiled eggs ... told her to put d egg inside a pot wiz water n boil for 10 mins, she oso dun no ... haiz.

i oso kept quiet coz i dun want to chg maid agn, as long as d behv is acceptable, not siao, my kids safe wiz her n she okie wiz them, i okie liao, it is veri stressful to keep chg maids, not to mention d $$ lost. i oso underst that she is new n veri suaku, so hv to gv her time.
 
Yes... i agree... if the maids not happy they would purposely do things wrongly so that you get angry with them and would change them.

Ultimately, is the agency who benefited coz with the insurance / agency fee and logging you have to pay. I have tp pay SGD 10 per day for my old maid for 1 mth in which after that pay by agency.

Agency also very clever, wait till sui sui 1 mth, then say someone want her and she is ready for replacement liao ... no chance of getting back any refund
 
jean, nwadays the maid all very smart. today while i was doing hsework with my new trf maid. I found that my ex runaway maid has cut out alot of newspaper articles.. the newspaper got 'holes' in them faint!!!
 
kanna sai:
u r also here.
happy.gif


AY33:
I have changed 2 maids already. First one Phil came less than 1 month say dun want to work as dun want to look after bb. Then at the end of the month said want to continue working but I think she can't handle infant also. So I transferred her back to agency.

Now Indo maid worked 2 days and said dun want to work as dun want to look after dog.
sad.gif
So now Phil maid has not found employer and now Indo maid wants to leave and I can't request for another maid as I only got 1 kid currently and no2 due in April.. sigh...sigh...
 
hi

at leat yr maid is honest enuv to tell u the truth. The filipino maid i mentioned in sept post, when I interviewed her, she said she love children very much. She married wif 1 kid. Later when i trf her out & found out fm agt tat she admitted to them she nvr look after her own kid & she's in midst of divorce therefore no 'heart' to wrk. "Suay" again to hv employed this kind of maid. Perhaps hv to accept these are parts & parcels of life, haha ;-) Life goes on....
 
we tried to 'maidless' & send my 19mth old girl to childcare but it didn't wrk out. My mum worry tat my girl will be bullied in the cc as she's very skinny & gentle plus can't talk properly yet. My hubby is the one who does most of the hsewrk when there's no maid at hm. So we got ano filipino maid again. She's here nearly 2 mths but still forget things easily, when she prepare room for bb's bed time, she still forget to tk out the bedtime bear & bolster fm the cabinet despite reminders. Dunno wat to say ....
 
AY33:
What about give her timetable so that she knows what are her nightly duties?

Think need to give more than 2 months one. Need patience lor.
 
Dear ALL

Can I ask : when the agency says they give you FREE replacement - what does it actually mean?

For example, i have a maid from agency ...maid has been with me for 1 month but she cannot make it ... cannot handle kids, cannot cook, cannot speak nor understand simple english ...all these despite her 3 years work experience in Malaysia!
So I have since asked for a replacement maid ...
Can i ask
(1) what will happen to this current Indon maid i intend to give up?
(2) if agent cannot find her a suitable employer, who has to pay for her air ticket home?
(3) i know i stand to lose the Bond Waiver & Medical insurance which i paid $204 ... but on top of losing this money, do i stand to lose anymore money ? Must i pay for her ticket home or agency pay ? Can't be the maid pay cos she has no money ...

Can anyone enlighten me ? Thanks very much
happy.gif
 
Hi YingYing,

You must read carefully FREE replacement for how long ? My contract is free replacement for 6mths only. Free replacement is you could get a new one at no cost but you still need to pay other fee if stated in the contract.

1)Usual practice for agency, they will find her an employer and transfer her out so that the agency can earn money again

2) Read your contract carefully or ask your agent. If they charged you lodging fee, you're not liable to pay for her airticket. Agency will take care of tat

3) You might pay for extra levy fee, lodging fee, admin fee on top of the insurance. MOM law is that if your maid worked for you and she wishes to go back home, employer has to pay for her air ticket. If the maid has no money, you have to bring her back to agency for them to handle normally for a transfer to another employer.

Hope I have enlightened you in some way. Ultimately, you have to talk to your agent and read carefully all the details in your contract stated.
 
Thanks Melissa
happy.gif


Employing maids is really luck !

My maid has been with me 1 month only - reason for sending her back is because she cannot understand English at all but she does speak very very little english ... however over phone interview she told me she can.. i think she is good for Malay family or any chinese family who is Malay-speaking ... workwise she is okay ... what a pity ! No English = can't communicate = how to go on for 2 years ? when i talk to her , there is zero response ! cos she TOTALLY cannot understand!
 
Hi Ladies,

I bought my maid insurance thru my insurance agent instead of thru maid agency, i find it cheaper.
 
I agreed with ilim. The insurance will be cheaper if bought from our own insur agent but it will be a hassle as we need to monitor it.
 
Hi mummies,

just my 2 cents here.
I understand how you all feel when getting a maid who is unable to help out but making lots of troubles.

For my case, i am the lucky one. My Indonesian maid (only 20 yr old)is doing her good job.I treat her like a member of my family.
I think,we as employer should give chance/time 4 them to catch up the English, to do house work, taking care of our child.We must explain to them /guide them when they can't meet our expectation. Please do not scold them hardly like nobody business.Let them know u need their help and u also care abt them.

As for my maid,she is allow to rest/has a nap(1/2 hr) if she really tired. She can manage her job/duties well.
she is handling all the house hold/ taking care of my 2 sons independently.
My sons love her so much. Aft I came back fr work, she will updates the story for tht day-about both my sons. And we will discuss how to improve their behavior or she may suggest something so that my sons can benefit from tht.

I allow her 2 use our house phone(wf her own phone card) 2 call back to Indonesia. So far I never scold her even she did some minor mistakes but I will stress that she must learn from the mistake.I will give her maximum 2 chance. So far she never disappointed me.
Even she still has another year before the work permit ends, she already told me that she needs to continue for another 2 years with me here.
 
Hi Radiance

I guess that you are readlly lucky to encounter a maid that is able to help, is kind of a heng or sua thing that is irregardless of how we treat the maid. We could teach them and be patient but some maids take for granted....

Some maids you treat them nice, they may not be appreciative and I guess it all boils down to the maid's character and your luck.

I agree that you have to treat your maid well and trust them but I just feel that at times you cannot trust your maid 100% unless you have a elderly or camera at home to readlly know what they doing at home when you are outside...
 
Hi Ying Ying, tried pm u but u dont accept pm.

anyway, i'm interested in ur indo maid. cld u pls send me her biodata? how much is her salary, any off days, etc?

How is her attitude, is she good or bad? does she loves kids/babies as I have a 1 yr old girl.

kindly sms me at 81224095 or pm me.

thanks alot.
 
Hi mummies,
FTWM really 苦不坎言!
My son is coming 3 years old n my filipino maid who transferred from my friend works for me since i give birth.. 1st year - no complaint, 2nd year - she is in dreaming condition due to her son passed away, 3rd year renewed contract -attitude problem, black face, talk back, always on the phone or sms, forgotten weekly routine, etc etc.. son always got minor injury due to her negligence. Wanting to change another maid asap, cross my finger can get a better maid, boss can approve my leave for training new maid, time for son to adapt to new maid, etc.. stress
 
hi baobei_sean
I'm a FTWM & I totally understand yr stress. But advc u tat 'hope for the best, prepared for the worst'. The only strategy tat me & hubby adopting nw is keep on changing maid till we find a suitable one, but be prepared to spend lots of $$$ & to tk the mental stress of training the new maid. Take care !
 
hai.. wish we have a choice not to have a maid!

btw, juz wondering whether your maid burns your clothes or iron cover?

i changed 5 maids coz other than being notti, they all burnt my iron covers!
 
Hi mummies
My present maid is my 2nd maid, the 1st one join me 11 days then i transferred her away as she talked back to us and keep requesting and asking around my family members for hp to sms.

My 2nd one have been with me almost 4th month, but she always homesick, everytime when she claimed that she is sick, I know already , she start to find ways to call home. There is one time I asked her," So you want to see doctor or just take medicine?" What she reply is really HOT, " I want to call or text my husband...!" I told her to shutup and call the agency straightaway. She keep saying she want to return home and giving us problem. We returned her back to agency for 1 day as we need to work, we asked the agency for temp replacement but she can't give us any, so in the end, she brought her back. This time the maid apologized and say she will make up for her mistake....Emotional problem.

I personally found that maid is giving us problem rather than helping us. We spent money and waste money during the transition and having headache taking leave to train them and monitor them.

I am really thinking of giving up
 
i even worse. Really suay...

My 1st maid finished 2 yrs contract. My 2nd maid worked 9 months, then went bk to Phil when i was 1 week into my confinement cos her mother dying. My 3rd maid worked 2 months then talked back to us and even landed my 2 month old boy into hospital. That one long story. Then i changed agcy. My 4th maid worked 3 days only then requested to return to agt, said she wants to go bk to Phil to treat her gastric. Now finding... Still finding, but no luck!
 
HI Lemontree,

I heard from the Agent that after changin 5 maids got to go counsulting. Did you hear anything about this? Cuase I changed 4, trying to endure with this cus I don wan my husband end up going counsulting.
 
Just to share that I interviewed one maid recently whom I quite like. She is married with 1 kid and has 2 years experience in SGP. She will be completing her contract in Jun and is looking for a new employer. She is 26 years old and in my opinion, quite bright.

I wanted to take her but we had already committed to taking another maid so my mother said to give the maid we committed first a chance.

If you are interested in her, you can PM me.
 
same problem here .
maid black face whole day,as if we are the maid she's the employer !
tell her to do things,forever no respond or else respond so unwillingly .not willing den come to wrk for wad ?!
from start until now 4months plus,everyday eat and slp must wait for us to tell her ..
den when she carrying baby,forever will fall aslp even in front of us somemore . feed milk also like that . zzz .
aiyo , dunno wad to do .
dunno why all maid pattern like that one .
everytime when want to send back to agent,den see her doing all the housework ..
as if she know we want to send her back .. parents in law softhearted dare not even ask her to pack .

can teach me how to let her know we want to send her back ?but agent keep saying busy cannot come and fetch .if agent come we more easy to tell her .
 
so suay man....if u read my post above, my maid talked back at me till I can't tahan, sent her packing. My new maid, worked 4 days, told me her child got into an accident, now in hospital. Want to go back agcy!! 6th maid liao loh.

But even if MOM interviews me, my conscience is clear. I did not mistreat them, I gave them enough food, and at least 8 hours of rest a day!
I think maids nowadays cannot take hardship and just want to come sg to 'enjoy' life. When they find out that life is not a bed of roses here, they show patterns. Thinking of giving up on foreign domestic helper liao. I want to try a local part-tme one. Only thing is my mum cannot handle my 9 month old boy who is v active.
 
My first maid (phi) - 11 days, talked back and keep requesting for handphone, 2nd maid (phi) - 4 months, homesick badly and keep crying everyday, current maid (indon) - coming to 9 months, so far ok.

Actually, maid = problem, but of course in the other way, they do help us more or less. Especially mine is taking care of my 13 mos baby by herself. What to expect, as long as she don't bully or abuse my baby, I thank god le, though she might be slow and dirty, we can only sallow and endure.
 
Ya... My experience just like you. Change 4 maids for the past 11 months. Almost going to MOM for 'kopi'. Realized Phils maids getting worse. Give up hope on them and my current one is a Indonesian. Hopefully, I dun have to change her.
 
As a FTWM, I find it really stressful to deal with maid and fussy mil (I hired maid to help my mil who's looking after my 2 very young kids). Quality of maids nowadays is so so bad. Always claim in biodata got work exp as domestic helper in home country, work in big land house, blah blah. But when they arrive here then u realize they can't even do simple household chores, and cooking just sucks no matter how hard you try to teach them. I'm very stressed, just wish my babies will grow up faster and I can do without maid.
 
I also think Indo better. although they are slower but they are more respectful. Get those brand new 1 but got experience in Indo can liao. I always got policy, when I engage them at the agency on the first day, I will make agent tell them, 1) No handphone 2)No off day 3)No relative in Singapore 4) No write letter but will allow to call back if asked permission from me. Even if call, on special occasion or else if every month call cant concentrate work.4) have to declare all assets(money) she has in front of agent so if she has excess when she return which means she stole it. In front of agent, I told her that all her money I keep, until she go home then return everything to her.

I'm the one who buy calling card for her, like hari raya I give her 1 calling card as her ang pow. I think its important to lay the rules for maid on the very first day already coz thats the time they will try to impress you, after that, they will normally deteriote and you need to drill them again.
 
1) No handphone 2)No off day 3)No relative in Singapore 4) No write letter but will allow to call back if asked

geesh, are you hiring a maid or getting a slave? would you survive if you don't have any contact with YOUR family for 2 years???
 
Actually its very normal that we set the rules no handphone, no off day and can only call back when requested. These rules are quite common and I agree that from day 1 at the agency we must made known to the maid.

After the maid has worked for us for few months and if we feel that she is good then we allow her to call back home or sms to her family.
 
being normal doesn't make it right! I wonder if MOM reads this site.... it's a mockery of that test they make employers take.

again no one seems to be able to answer, would YOU survive if you had no contact with YOUR family for 2 years???
 
Hi all
Actually its a 'heng' or 'sway' thing in getting maids. Infact agency will set rules for the maids rite. For fresh new maids, agency will tell them (1) no hp & (2) no off day for 1st 2 yrs. Call back once a mth & write letter ok. I also have endless problems with maids after my first maid went back in last Nov. Current maid with me for 5 mths, also got problems but bo bian, hv to close one eye sometimes. My 2nd maid will be here today. Oh ya, bear in mind that insurance can't be refunded after 6 mths so if changing maid, must do it within 6 mths.
 
Take note that some maids are very smart, they'll ask for transfer after they finish paying their agent loan (which is after 6 or 7 mths) and that means your insurance can't be refunded.
 
When my new maid asked for hp, i told her to go and read the contract she signed with agency and me. Don't come and request monkey things. I told her to abide what she signed and agreed and that will keep them shut up.
 



Back
Top