Advise on Baby & Maid Exps
- Thread starter erkerk
- Start date
Siman,
When we buy back the frozen chicken parts, we defroze a bit, then separate out into small portions, and keep in the fridge. When they want to cook, just take out one portion.
It is not true that Indonesian maids are very dirty. My Indonesian maids are very hygienic, plus they are very respectful and obedient. I have hired both filipino and Indonesian maids before, I don't see any difference in terms of capability or intelligence. I prefer to hire Indonesian maids because I see no point in paying more.
Whatever the nationality, there will always be good maids and bad maids.
The first rule about hiring maids is never believe in whatever the maid agency say, they are only out to earn your money.
When we buy back the frozen chicken parts, we defroze a bit, then separate out into small portions, and keep in the fridge. When they want to cook, just take out one portion.
It is not true that Indonesian maids are very dirty. My Indonesian maids are very hygienic, plus they are very respectful and obedient. I have hired both filipino and Indonesian maids before, I don't see any difference in terms of capability or intelligence. I prefer to hire Indonesian maids because I see no point in paying more.
Whatever the nationality, there will always be good maids and bad maids.
The first rule about hiring maids is never believe in whatever the maid agency say, they are only out to earn your money.
linda_thea
New Member
Hi siman
Your maid really something leh. I agree with you fillipino smarter than indo, they dare to ask. Have to be very firm with them. I also dun allow my maid to go out and buy food. She is "allowed" to step out of the house only when she pick my girl up, so she throws rubbish at the same time.
U really very nice to buy so much food for your maid liao and she still want to go out and buy. My maid chooses her own food from the supermarket, and for the 3 weeks I have started so, she got only 2 bundles of vegetables, 1 pkt of fishball, 1 pkt ngor hiang. she separates them into portions upon reaching home and cooks each portion at a time. Maggi mee and rice are staples at home though. She only cook for lunch.
Indo maids can be clean and good, just luck and train harder. If your maid can talk back to you like this, then diff to keep her.
Your maid really something leh. I agree with you fillipino smarter than indo, they dare to ask. Have to be very firm with them. I also dun allow my maid to go out and buy food. She is "allowed" to step out of the house only when she pick my girl up, so she throws rubbish at the same time.
U really very nice to buy so much food for your maid liao and she still want to go out and buy. My maid chooses her own food from the supermarket, and for the 3 weeks I have started so, she got only 2 bundles of vegetables, 1 pkt of fishball, 1 pkt ngor hiang. she separates them into portions upon reaching home and cooks each portion at a time. Maggi mee and rice are staples at home though. She only cook for lunch.
Indo maids can be clean and good, just luck and train harder. If your maid can talk back to you like this, then diff to keep her.
Lani
For lunch, she use my money, for dessert, she uses her own. I usually give her say $4, then she will buy lunch range between $2.50 to $3.00. Got bal, she buy dessert then I deduct from her salary. If Indo is not that bad, I feel like engaging one next time... but my FIL said Indo like very scary, he realised all murder case are Indo maids.
Dramaqueen,
Im thinking now whether to keep her, but I have to definitely change the current situation. I will not let her out on her own AT ALL from now onwards unless I bring her.
Tamarind,
I see. Ya, I thought that not all Indos are bad lah. I saw my friend one, in fact I find them more humble. I just need a guai guai one who want to work,earn money then go home. Should we specify of which part of Indonesia sld they come from? Where is yours from?
Linda,
I have spoilt her because during my pregnancy, i cannot move about alot so I usually ask her to go buy food or marketing for me. Now, need to change, i rather buy together with her. Your maid Indo? ya, i already have lots of food for her, have spagetti and sauce somemore for her. Instant noodles have various brand one.
I will monitor her again. My husband called home and she told my husband I do not allow her to go off. I told my husband, i allow her! I just ask her not to go Lucky plaza. She told my husband she want to meet her sister at Lucky plaza on Sunday. My husband said wait for him to come back and he will talk to her. Will discuss with my husband again on this. Im now alone with her in the house, my husband have been stationed overseas so I think he is worried if maid leave and Im really alone.
For lunch, she use my money, for dessert, she uses her own. I usually give her say $4, then she will buy lunch range between $2.50 to $3.00. Got bal, she buy dessert then I deduct from her salary. If Indo is not that bad, I feel like engaging one next time... but my FIL said Indo like very scary, he realised all murder case are Indo maids.
Dramaqueen,
Im thinking now whether to keep her, but I have to definitely change the current situation. I will not let her out on her own AT ALL from now onwards unless I bring her.
Tamarind,
I see. Ya, I thought that not all Indos are bad lah. I saw my friend one, in fact I find them more humble. I just need a guai guai one who want to work,earn money then go home. Should we specify of which part of Indonesia sld they come from? Where is yours from?
Linda,
I have spoilt her because during my pregnancy, i cannot move about alot so I usually ask her to go buy food or marketing for me. Now, need to change, i rather buy together with her. Your maid Indo? ya, i already have lots of food for her, have spagetti and sauce somemore for her. Instant noodles have various brand one.
I will monitor her again. My husband called home and she told my husband I do not allow her to go off. I told my husband, i allow her! I just ask her not to go Lucky plaza. She told my husband she want to meet her sister at Lucky plaza on Sunday. My husband said wait for him to come back and he will talk to her. Will discuss with my husband again on this. Im now alone with her in the house, my husband have been stationed overseas so I think he is worried if maid leave and Im really alone.
Siman,
All along I have been using Indo maids (I have used 4 indo maids so far). Talking abt cleanliness, my 3rd maid is the most clean of them all. She is religious conscious and will pray every night in the toilet after bathing.
No doubt some Indos are dirty, there are bound to be clean ones. It depends on our luck.
I don't get maids from West Java. They are popular with black magic. Apart from my first maid which I have forgotten where she came from, the other three are from Central Java, one from Cilacap and two from Kendah.
You really spoilt your maid with food.
I will be sending my current maid home when I get my new maid. Still waiting for her Passport to be processed by the embassy. I am getting a filipino this time. I hope everything will turn out good.
All along I have been using Indo maids (I have used 4 indo maids so far). Talking abt cleanliness, my 3rd maid is the most clean of them all. She is religious conscious and will pray every night in the toilet after bathing.
No doubt some Indos are dirty, there are bound to be clean ones. It depends on our luck.
I don't get maids from West Java. They are popular with black magic. Apart from my first maid which I have forgotten where she came from, the other three are from Central Java, one from Cilacap and two from Kendah.
You really spoilt your maid with food.
I will be sending my current maid home when I get my new maid. Still waiting for her Passport to be processed by the embassy. I am getting a filipino this time. I hope everything will turn out good.
linda_thea
New Member
Hi siman
Your maid started "complaining" to your husband?? This is getting not so good for you. I mean if she talked to your hubby and then get the green light to go ahead to do something you did not agree to, she will be over your head!
My maid is Indo, from Metro. Anyone heard? Can't remember which exact part of Indo. Religious conscious too. She feels praying is part of life. And personally i thot is good. Cos they THINK before doing something bad...
Too much 'interaction' with the outside world also bad. My fren's fillipino maid, whom chatted with another fren's maid, went back and asked her employer why she got no off day when "ALL fillipinas" have. Cos that's what she heard from the other maid... Having seen and talk to both close frens' maids, one indo and one fillipina, really quite diff. Fillipina very bold, the maid joined in our conversations w/o being asked. And she actually TOLD me to have a second baby BOY asap cos her mdm also like this...
Indo maid just smile smile and sit quietly.
Your maid started "complaining" to your husband?? This is getting not so good for you. I mean if she talked to your hubby and then get the green light to go ahead to do something you did not agree to, she will be over your head!
My maid is Indo, from Metro. Anyone heard? Can't remember which exact part of Indo. Religious conscious too. She feels praying is part of life. And personally i thot is good. Cos they THINK before doing something bad...
Too much 'interaction' with the outside world also bad. My fren's fillipino maid, whom chatted with another fren's maid, went back and asked her employer why she got no off day when "ALL fillipinas" have. Cos that's what she heard from the other maid... Having seen and talk to both close frens' maids, one indo and one fillipina, really quite diff. Fillipina very bold, the maid joined in our conversations w/o being asked. And she actually TOLD me to have a second baby BOY asap cos her mdm also like this...
siman,
aiyoh...your maid can dare to complain to your hubby ah?? better watch out leh, cause it's not a good sign. cause if she sees that there is even the SLIMMEST chance that your hubby will try to talk to you to convince you to see things her way, she will know that she can "persuade" your hubby, and she will find means and ways to make both of you quarrel and have disputes over her. i've seen this happen to some ppl before...
for my maid ah, my hubby is totally hands-off when it comes to managing her. everything is left to me, and the maid knows it. so she knows that all maid-related decisions will be made by me, and not hubby. the only time hubby gets involved is when my maid does something serious, and i tell my hubby and my hubby will immed have a talk wit my maid or lecture her. when he does this then my maid knows that what she did is very serious liao, and she will never repeat the same mistake again. so far, hubby has had to lecture her for the following incidents:
1) she was looking after my dd while my dd was playing on the swing, then her eyes was on tv watching it instead of watching my ddr, then my dd fell forward and hit her head/face on the floor. my dd cried sooo loud! i was in the kitchen and saw the whole thing! got very angry at maid and scolded her. then when hubby came home he scolded her too. we told her when it comes to dd's safety, we won't compromise. any more misatkes and she goes home, period.
2) her obsession with dieting and skipping meals
3) her carelessness with dd's hygiene a few times. every night when i bathe my dd i use a face towel to wipe her down, and it is also used to wipe her bum area, etc. so after finish she is required to hang it in the kitchen then next day wash it, and every day i use a different face towel. sometimes i am busy so i ask her to go get the face towel for me. then one day i spot-checked and found that she did not wash the towel after each use, and everyday she kept giving me the SAME piece of face towel to use, for 5 days in a row! wow, i really blew my top. told her how can you let me use the towel over and over again, esp after i wipe my dd's bum with it one day then next day i wipe her face?? then she kena scolding from hubby also lor.
4) caught her once wiping my dd's toys with the same towel she use to wipe dining table after our meals! had to tell her cannot use the same towel, it is very unhygienic. then when hubby came home he also lectured her on hygiene, esp when it comes to dd.
5) then few days ago was also over hygiene with dd's food. my dd likes to eat cornflakes, and we store it in an airtight container. whenever my dd wants to eat, i will pour out some into the bowl for her. sometimes when i am not ard my maid will pour out for my dd. then i noticed that she doesn't pour it out (like the way hubby and i do it), she will instead use her hands to scoop out the cornflakes, and she didn't even wash her hands before that!
my maid is actually very good leh, is hardworking, got initiative, has good attitude and is a very fast learner. but as you can see no maid is perfect, even she has her shortcomings. but the good thing about her is once we highlight her mistake to her and tell her not to repeat it, she won't and she doesn't bear a grudge against us for reprimanding her.
my maid has been working for us for almost a yr, and i also notice one thing about her attitude. i notice that if over a period of time i become too lax/relaxed with her, and if i become too friendly towards her, she does tend to get a bit rude towards me, ie. if i ask her to do something she inadvertently answer me back in a rude tone. this happened a few times liao, so now i got no choice but to maintain my distance from her, ie. i am nice. respectful and cordial towards her but cannot be too friendly and too relaxed, cause i think she end up thinking i am her friend then her tone towards me can become rude at times. when i am more fierce and no-nonsense towards her she seems to listen to me more and takes my instructions more seriously. so funny right??
aiyoh...your maid can dare to complain to your hubby ah?? better watch out leh, cause it's not a good sign. cause if she sees that there is even the SLIMMEST chance that your hubby will try to talk to you to convince you to see things her way, she will know that she can "persuade" your hubby, and she will find means and ways to make both of you quarrel and have disputes over her. i've seen this happen to some ppl before...
for my maid ah, my hubby is totally hands-off when it comes to managing her. everything is left to me, and the maid knows it. so she knows that all maid-related decisions will be made by me, and not hubby. the only time hubby gets involved is when my maid does something serious, and i tell my hubby and my hubby will immed have a talk wit my maid or lecture her. when he does this then my maid knows that what she did is very serious liao, and she will never repeat the same mistake again. so far, hubby has had to lecture her for the following incidents:
1) she was looking after my dd while my dd was playing on the swing, then her eyes was on tv watching it instead of watching my ddr, then my dd fell forward and hit her head/face on the floor. my dd cried sooo loud! i was in the kitchen and saw the whole thing! got very angry at maid and scolded her. then when hubby came home he scolded her too. we told her when it comes to dd's safety, we won't compromise. any more misatkes and she goes home, period.
2) her obsession with dieting and skipping meals
3) her carelessness with dd's hygiene a few times. every night when i bathe my dd i use a face towel to wipe her down, and it is also used to wipe her bum area, etc. so after finish she is required to hang it in the kitchen then next day wash it, and every day i use a different face towel. sometimes i am busy so i ask her to go get the face towel for me. then one day i spot-checked and found that she did not wash the towel after each use, and everyday she kept giving me the SAME piece of face towel to use, for 5 days in a row! wow, i really blew my top. told her how can you let me use the towel over and over again, esp after i wipe my dd's bum with it one day then next day i wipe her face?? then she kena scolding from hubby also lor.
4) caught her once wiping my dd's toys with the same towel she use to wipe dining table after our meals! had to tell her cannot use the same towel, it is very unhygienic. then when hubby came home he also lectured her on hygiene, esp when it comes to dd.
5) then few days ago was also over hygiene with dd's food. my dd likes to eat cornflakes, and we store it in an airtight container. whenever my dd wants to eat, i will pour out some into the bowl for her. sometimes when i am not ard my maid will pour out for my dd. then i noticed that she doesn't pour it out (like the way hubby and i do it), she will instead use her hands to scoop out the cornflakes, and she didn't even wash her hands before that!
my maid is actually very good leh, is hardworking, got initiative, has good attitude and is a very fast learner. but as you can see no maid is perfect, even she has her shortcomings. but the good thing about her is once we highlight her mistake to her and tell her not to repeat it, she won't and she doesn't bear a grudge against us for reprimanding her.
my maid has been working for us for almost a yr, and i also notice one thing about her attitude. i notice that if over a period of time i become too lax/relaxed with her, and if i become too friendly towards her, she does tend to get a bit rude towards me, ie. if i ask her to do something she inadvertently answer me back in a rude tone. this happened a few times liao, so now i got no choice but to maintain my distance from her, ie. i am nice. respectful and cordial towards her but cannot be too friendly and too relaxed, cause i think she end up thinking i am her friend then her tone towards me can become rude at times. when i am more fierce and no-nonsense towards her she seems to listen to me more and takes my instructions more seriously. so funny right??
Lani,
I agree with you on the laxing with maid. My mum kept telling me my maid is lazy. She will buck up when my mum scolded her. If my mum didn't scold her, she will work lesser each time.
This morning I wake up with an angry mum again. I HATE IT!!!! My mum complained to me that the maid let ds played with a bottle of shampoo few days ago. And let dd play with the itch gel. Give her the whole bottle and let her self help to spread all over her hand. When I asked the maid abt the shampoo thing, she said she didn't give my ds to play. My mum was so angry and said that everytime she kept denying her action.
I am torn between two "black faced" being in my house. Everyday I see them, I felt so sian.....
My mum refused to talk to us because she said we (hb and me) are good employer and she is the bad one. Because she is the one who always raised voice to the maid whereas me and hb always talk nicely to her.
The maid pull long face whole day long. Thk she can't stand my mum any longer. Kept saying the earlier she go back the better it is. I told her that I am still waiting for the replacement maid's passport to be ready before I can release her.
I reprimanded her this morning. I told her if she wants to go back earlier, better cooperate. Whatever my mum instruct her to do, she just do it. If get scolded, apologise and do again. Whether it is right or wrong, just apologise and do it. No arguement with my mum.
Sorry to hear me vent my frustration here.... I really can't stand anymore..... Imagine u have to face these 2 ppl in yr house everyday.... haiz...
I agree with you on the laxing with maid. My mum kept telling me my maid is lazy. She will buck up when my mum scolded her. If my mum didn't scold her, she will work lesser each time.
This morning I wake up with an angry mum again. I HATE IT!!!! My mum complained to me that the maid let ds played with a bottle of shampoo few days ago. And let dd play with the itch gel. Give her the whole bottle and let her self help to spread all over her hand. When I asked the maid abt the shampoo thing, she said she didn't give my ds to play. My mum was so angry and said that everytime she kept denying her action.
I am torn between two "black faced" being in my house. Everyday I see them, I felt so sian.....
My mum refused to talk to us because she said we (hb and me) are good employer and she is the bad one. Because she is the one who always raised voice to the maid whereas me and hb always talk nicely to her.
The maid pull long face whole day long. Thk she can't stand my mum any longer. Kept saying the earlier she go back the better it is. I told her that I am still waiting for the replacement maid's passport to be ready before I can release her.
I reprimanded her this morning. I told her if she wants to go back earlier, better cooperate. Whatever my mum instruct her to do, she just do it. If get scolded, apologise and do again. Whether it is right or wrong, just apologise and do it. No arguement with my mum.
Sorry to hear me vent my frustration here.... I really can't stand anymore..... Imagine u have to face these 2 ppl in yr house everyday.... haiz...
linda_thea
New Member
Hi babycutie,
I agree with you. My maid is not educated, and till date, she has never asked me for anything yet. Dun dare to speak up. Poor you... get stuck in between both... Bear with it, the new maid will come soon.
Hi lani
Yes, all maids no perfect one. Mine is good so far but very messy. She cook a meal and the whole kitchen top are dotted with bits of food, sauces oil etc. But since she is the one who cleans up, I dun really mind lor.
She also tend to yes mdm yes mdm... but dun really understand. But I reckon that's better than she act stupid.
I only scolded her once BIG time cos she got lost with my girl. Or rather she allowed my girl to get lost chasing after a dog. But after cooling down, I understand tt cos she just came, and she scared to make my girl cry should she forcefully pull the girl away from the dog.
Maids... very diff for them to discipline our child too.
I agree with you. My maid is not educated, and till date, she has never asked me for anything yet. Dun dare to speak up. Poor you... get stuck in between both... Bear with it, the new maid will come soon.
Hi lani
Yes, all maids no perfect one. Mine is good so far but very messy. She cook a meal and the whole kitchen top are dotted with bits of food, sauces oil etc. But since she is the one who cleans up, I dun really mind lor.
She also tend to yes mdm yes mdm... but dun really understand. But I reckon that's better than she act stupid.
I only scolded her once BIG time cos she got lost with my girl. Or rather she allowed my girl to get lost chasing after a dog. But after cooling down, I understand tt cos she just came, and she scared to make my girl cry should she forcefully pull the girl away from the dog.
Maids... very diff for them to discipline our child too.
Siman,
I don't remember the place name they come from. One maid who is reliable and obedient, told me that that she lives in the highlands where it is very cold.
Looks like your maid is getting very daring, I think she can only get worst. You got to make it clear that there is only one person who decides whether she stays or goes, and that person is you.
Lani,
OMG about the face towel !!! There was once we were visiting an organic vegetable farm with my maid. I ask her to use tissue paper to wipe my boy's face, the tissue dropped on the ground, she immediately picked up and tried to wipe his face with it ! I grabbed her hand and told her off. But the good thing about her is she always say sorry and never argue when I correct her.
babycutie,
I also understand how you feel. There are some maids which I thought were OK, but my mother keep on critizing them. It is really not easy to hire a maid who can please our mothers !
Linda,
Talking about bold filipino maid. My first filipino maid told me straight in my face, that she cannot stand my mother !!! Did she expect me to send my mother away ?
I don't remember the place name they come from. One maid who is reliable and obedient, told me that that she lives in the highlands where it is very cold.
Looks like your maid is getting very daring, I think she can only get worst. You got to make it clear that there is only one person who decides whether she stays or goes, and that person is you.
Lani,
OMG about the face towel !!! There was once we were visiting an organic vegetable farm with my maid. I ask her to use tissue paper to wipe my boy's face, the tissue dropped on the ground, she immediately picked up and tried to wipe his face with it ! I grabbed her hand and told her off. But the good thing about her is she always say sorry and never argue when I correct her.
babycutie,
I also understand how you feel. There are some maids which I thought were OK, but my mother keep on critizing them. It is really not easy to hire a maid who can please our mothers !
Linda,
Talking about bold filipino maid. My first filipino maid told me straight in my face, that she cannot stand my mother !!! Did she expect me to send my mother away ?
linda_thea
New Member
Hi tamarind
HAHAHAHA!!!! Yeah man, what she hope to achieve by doing that? hahahaha, really silly leh. Fillipinas really more upfront, they vocalised more often and usually without thinking if it is appropriate.
My SIL ex maid was from the highlands too. She was quite efficient and very good with children. But too bad she got hooked up with a man. Sigh...So my SIL sent her back immediately upon confirming it.
HAHAHAHA!!!! Yeah man, what she hope to achieve by doing that? hahahaha, really silly leh. Fillipinas really more upfront, they vocalised more often and usually without thinking if it is appropriate.
My SIL ex maid was from the highlands too. She was quite efficient and very good with children. But too bad she got hooked up with a man. Sigh...So my SIL sent her back immediately upon confirming it.
tamarind,
yah, imagine my anger over the face towel thing! and it happened more than once leh, so the 2nd time i got really pissed off, and that was when hubby had a talk with her the next day.
my maid accepted the reprimand she got and apologised, cause she knows that hubby and i are very particular when it comes to our dd. everything else i don't get angry over easily. for eg, she has ruined 3 of my clothing so far (from washing or ironing) and all 3 times she even offered to pay me back, but i told her no need, cause it was a mistake and they are just clothes anyway, can always be replaced.
so from there she can see that i will only get angry over important things and not over trivial matters.
my maid is from Malang in Java. i have been told by some malay mums fr this forum who have experience employing maids that maids from Sumatra are quite vain and are notorious for having multiple boyfriends in s'pore and even having interest in the employers' husbands or seducing the employers' husbands! some of these employers have relayed to me their own personal experiences, and it's scary and some are very funny also! so if anyone is worried about this issue, steer clear of sumatran maids.
yah, imagine my anger over the face towel thing! and it happened more than once leh, so the 2nd time i got really pissed off, and that was when hubby had a talk with her the next day.
my maid accepted the reprimand she got and apologised, cause she knows that hubby and i are very particular when it comes to our dd. everything else i don't get angry over easily. for eg, she has ruined 3 of my clothing so far (from washing or ironing) and all 3 times she even offered to pay me back, but i told her no need, cause it was a mistake and they are just clothes anyway, can always be replaced.
so from there she can see that i will only get angry over important things and not over trivial matters.
my maid is from Malang in Java. i have been told by some malay mums fr this forum who have experience employing maids that maids from Sumatra are quite vain and are notorious for having multiple boyfriends in s'pore and even having interest in the employers' husbands or seducing the employers' husbands! some of these employers have relayed to me their own personal experiences, and it's scary and some are very funny also! so if anyone is worried about this issue, steer clear of sumatran maids.
cheerful747
Active Member
Lani
I can understand why are you mad about your maid. When comes to kids issue, its impt to be strict with them.
Do you leave your toddler with your maid sometimes?
My maid burnt quite a few of my lycra clothings too but I just forget it...
My maid is forgetful,told her to change the drinking water for baby when its not clean and she kept forgetting it and I have to check on her all the time...
She pour lots of detergent into my toddler clothing to wash and rinse not clean and terrible break out all over the body...show her...next few days, wash the cloths clean and not clean again...sigh....
Lani , how old is your dd now?
I can understand why are you mad about your maid. When comes to kids issue, its impt to be strict with them.
Do you leave your toddler with your maid sometimes?
My maid burnt quite a few of my lycra clothings too but I just forget it...
My maid is forgetful,told her to change the drinking water for baby when its not clean and she kept forgetting it and I have to check on her all the time...
She pour lots of detergent into my toddler clothing to wash and rinse not clean and terrible break out all over the body...show her...next few days, wash the cloths clean and not clean again...sigh....
Lani , how old is your dd now?
Linda,
Now when I hire maids, I prefer to get those who are ugly, less likely to make boyfriends
Lani,
OK will remember to avoid Sumatran maids
Rainbow,
I would rather ask my maid to use the washing machine to wash my kids clothes, at least I can be sure of many times it rinse.
Now when I hire maids, I prefer to get those who are ugly, less likely to make boyfriends
Lani,
OK will remember to avoid Sumatran maids
Rainbow,
I would rather ask my maid to use the washing machine to wash my kids clothes, at least I can be sure of many times it rinse.
cheerful747
Active Member
Tamarind
I told her to use washing machine but she said she prefers to use hand and promise to rinse it properly...It was later she realised that she needs to rinse three times instead to ensure totally clean....save water for the wrong reason.
Lani
Heard that your maid will go back next year.Do you intend to hire another maid or maidless?I am still hoping hard that my son is easier to manage when he turns 2.5 years when maid goes back next year.
Talking about sumatra maid, my brother has got one. This maid has a very good life.Just imagine, being served like a queen by my mum and sil during last reunion dinner and she was sat next to me...of equal status....She cannot turn too bad as ah ma is always at home LOOKING AFTER her.
I told her to use washing machine but she said she prefers to use hand and promise to rinse it properly...It was later she realised that she needs to rinse three times instead to ensure totally clean....save water for the wrong reason.
Lani
Heard that your maid will go back next year.Do you intend to hire another maid or maidless?I am still hoping hard that my son is easier to manage when he turns 2.5 years when maid goes back next year.
Talking about sumatra maid, my brother has got one. This maid has a very good life.Just imagine, being served like a queen by my mum and sil during last reunion dinner and she was sat next to me...of equal status....She cannot turn too bad as ah ma is always at home LOOKING AFTER her.
rainbow,
my maid's contract expires in may 2008, and my dd will be almost 3.5yrs old then. i plan to go maidless, cause my dd will be quite big and also going to pre-nursery already, so i have 3-4hrs daily to do housework. i was maidless up until my dd was 15mths old and we managed quite alright with a PT maid and hubby and i doing small household chores. so we intend to go back to this routine next may lor.
my maid's contract expires in may 2008, and my dd will be almost 3.5yrs old then. i plan to go maidless, cause my dd will be quite big and also going to pre-nursery already, so i have 3-4hrs daily to do housework. i was maidless up until my dd was 15mths old and we managed quite alright with a PT maid and hubby and i doing small household chores. so we intend to go back to this routine next may lor.
linda_thea
New Member
Hi tamarind
hahaha... i was saved from pretty maids cos mine was a transfer maid whose ex employer returned her due to her pimply face. kekkeke... True also, I wouldn't want someone TOO pretty at home. Just pleasant enough lor. Recently a lot of foreign workers below my block cos painting jobs being done nearby. So I decide to get home earlier when fetching maid and child in the afternoon to avoid maid walking alone to the school least she bumps into some "friendly" ones.
Hi Lani
Will keep in mind abt Sumatra... but I think mine is from there too. Metro, Lampung. Heard of it? Not too sure whereabouts.
Hi rainbow,
They do need reminding on and off lah. After a while of non-reminding, they tend to slip up... I feel that having a maid is like having an older child, do you think so?
hahaha... i was saved from pretty maids cos mine was a transfer maid whose ex employer returned her due to her pimply face. kekkeke... True also, I wouldn't want someone TOO pretty at home. Just pleasant enough lor. Recently a lot of foreign workers below my block cos painting jobs being done nearby. So I decide to get home earlier when fetching maid and child in the afternoon to avoid maid walking alone to the school least she bumps into some "friendly" ones.
Hi Lani
Will keep in mind abt Sumatra... but I think mine is from there too. Metro, Lampung. Heard of it? Not too sure whereabouts.
Hi rainbow,
They do need reminding on and off lah. After a while of non-reminding, they tend to slip up... I feel that having a maid is like having an older child, do you think so?
don't know if i am over-reacting or not, but just want to share, cause maybe aft i let it out here i will feel better.
today hubby brought dd downstairs to playground. normally when she returns i will wash her hands then feed her dinner. then today when they came back hubby mentioned that she grazed her finger slightly, so got small skin broken lor. so i looked at it, it was superficial, so brought her to the sink to wash hands.
then my maid can "instruct" me, telling me not to wash dd's hands with soap, wash with water can liao. aiyoh! my 1st thought was, wah she so daring can give me orders like that! it was as if she was the Mdm and i am the maid leh! but i did not show her my displeasure, instead i told her that it's just a superficial cut, it's ok, won't hurt her. then i told her, additionally, whenever my dd's hands are dirty (esp after she comes back from playground), MUST wash her hands with soap and water, cause using water alone is unhygienic and it will not kill the germs.
haiz...i have noticed recently that my maid's attitude is getting a little relaxed lor, ie. when i ask her to do something at times she will answer me in a very rude or impatient tone.
if the situation gets worse i will get hubby to talk to her, cause i really cannot stand disrespect lor, esp when i've been so nice to her and sometimes do things for her which is beyond what i need to do as an employer.
today hubby brought dd downstairs to playground. normally when she returns i will wash her hands then feed her dinner. then today when they came back hubby mentioned that she grazed her finger slightly, so got small skin broken lor. so i looked at it, it was superficial, so brought her to the sink to wash hands.
then my maid can "instruct" me, telling me not to wash dd's hands with soap, wash with water can liao. aiyoh! my 1st thought was, wah she so daring can give me orders like that! it was as if she was the Mdm and i am the maid leh! but i did not show her my displeasure, instead i told her that it's just a superficial cut, it's ok, won't hurt her. then i told her, additionally, whenever my dd's hands are dirty (esp after she comes back from playground), MUST wash her hands with soap and water, cause using water alone is unhygienic and it will not kill the germs.
haiz...i have noticed recently that my maid's attitude is getting a little relaxed lor, ie. when i ask her to do something at times she will answer me in a very rude or impatient tone.
if the situation gets worse i will get hubby to talk to her, cause i really cannot stand disrespect lor, esp when i've been so nice to her and sometimes do things for her which is beyond what i need to do as an employer.
Hi Tamarind,
Cant choose too ugly one lah or else our children will have nightmares. I went out with my son and Indo maid who is quite sweet looking yesterday. Three bangladesh workers said hello. I stupidly think they saying hello to my son and hellloed back only to realise they were eyeing my maid like wolves. How scary.
Hi Lani,
My maid's contract will expire soon and I am undecided whether to send her back. I have been yoyo-ing on this issue because she and my son gets a long very well and I can see she genuinely cares for him well. However my maid like yours sometimes too relaxed with me and "order" me making me think as if she is the mdm and I the maid. She will override my decisions at times and even dare to question me. Of course I will be annoyed and give her a good lecture. After that she more on her toes but will repeat after sometime when I less strict with her again. My husband said because I was too friendly with her when she first came (I inexperienced mah). Funny thing is she likes to imitate me....the way I tie my hair, the way I wear a "turban" after wash hair, the way I dress fashion. I don't know whether I should be happy she takes me as her role model or annoy with her no manners for not knowing where to draw the line. My mum and husband and close relatives are telling me to continue with her service as I may not be so lucky to get someone who can take care of my boy, but I am not sure if I can tolerate her behaviours for another two years.
Experienced mums with maids,
Do you have experience to share about such dilemma and how did you choose?
Cant choose too ugly one lah or else our children will have nightmares. I went out with my son and Indo maid who is quite sweet looking yesterday. Three bangladesh workers said hello. I stupidly think they saying hello to my son and hellloed back only to realise they were eyeing my maid like wolves. How scary.
Hi Lani,
My maid's contract will expire soon and I am undecided whether to send her back. I have been yoyo-ing on this issue because she and my son gets a long very well and I can see she genuinely cares for him well. However my maid like yours sometimes too relaxed with me and "order" me making me think as if she is the mdm and I the maid. She will override my decisions at times and even dare to question me. Of course I will be annoyed and give her a good lecture. After that she more on her toes but will repeat after sometime when I less strict with her again. My husband said because I was too friendly with her when she first came (I inexperienced mah). Funny thing is she likes to imitate me....the way I tie my hair, the way I wear a "turban" after wash hair, the way I dress fashion. I don't know whether I should be happy she takes me as her role model or annoy with her no manners for not knowing where to draw the line. My mum and husband and close relatives are telling me to continue with her service as I may not be so lucky to get someone who can take care of my boy, but I am not sure if I can tolerate her behaviours for another two years.
Experienced mums with maids,
Do you have experience to share about such dilemma and how did you choose?
courage,
wow you really are in a dilemma...you are a FTWM right and rely on your maid to take care of your ds? is this her primary role? if it is and if she is good at it, then maybe you need to close one eye to her other "flaws" lor, esp if they are not so serious.
on the other hand, if you really cannot stand her and starting to dislike her more and more as the days go by, and don't know if you can tolerate her behaviour for 2 more yrs, then prob it's best to change, cause waht's the use of having a maid that you really can't stand, it just adds to your stress level only, esp when you are at home.
wow you really are in a dilemma...you are a FTWM right and rely on your maid to take care of your ds? is this her primary role? if it is and if she is good at it, then maybe you need to close one eye to her other "flaws" lor, esp if they are not so serious.
on the other hand, if you really cannot stand her and starting to dislike her more and more as the days go by, and don't know if you can tolerate her behaviour for 2 more yrs, then prob it's best to change, cause waht's the use of having a maid that you really can't stand, it just adds to your stress level only, esp when you are at home.
Lani,
Maybe your maid thought the washing might caused more pain to your gal... sometimes when the 'seasoned/experienced' maid worked for us for months, they forgot who is the one employing them.
I guess they dont understand the hygenie and safety as much as we do so guess you have to tell her.
Thus as Tam's mentioned before, treat them like employer and employee relationship. Dont be extra too nice, give respect to them and demand a respect from them to us too. I think they are just a flying kite, sometimes you let go and you have to pull it back tight...or else difficult to control.
Courage, if your maid is good and love your kid, and does not have major problem with you, why dont consider to extend her. Nowsadays, it is difficult to find a good maid or either train them well. Of course, u have to re-emphasized your rules to her again.
Maybe your maid thought the washing might caused more pain to your gal... sometimes when the 'seasoned/experienced' maid worked for us for months, they forgot who is the one employing them.
I guess they dont understand the hygenie and safety as much as we do so guess you have to tell her.
Thus as Tam's mentioned before, treat them like employer and employee relationship. Dont be extra too nice, give respect to them and demand a respect from them to us too. I think they are just a flying kite, sometimes you let go and you have to pull it back tight...or else difficult to control.
Courage, if your maid is good and love your kid, and does not have major problem with you, why dont consider to extend her. Nowsadays, it is difficult to find a good maid or either train them well. Of course, u have to re-emphasized your rules to her again.
cheerful747
Active Member
Lani
I konw what you mean when comes to who is the madam now. I have the same problem...My maid also behaves the same way but on a different issue. She expects you not treating her as a maid. I closed my eyes on her although she is rude at times.
I remember you say that your maid eats very little right?My maid on serious diet.But, comes to brownies, even you do not ask her to eat, she will finish all. Am quite unpleased with it as knowing that she is not well, told her not to eat, but she had it all....Cannot understand maid, proper meal don't eat, heaty staff, she cannot wait to finish it...sigh....end up so sick...You have such problem?
I konw what you mean when comes to who is the madam now. I have the same problem...My maid also behaves the same way but on a different issue. She expects you not treating her as a maid. I closed my eyes on her although she is rude at times.
I remember you say that your maid eats very little right?My maid on serious diet.But, comes to brownies, even you do not ask her to eat, she will finish all. Am quite unpleased with it as knowing that she is not well, told her not to eat, but she had it all....Cannot understand maid, proper meal don't eat, heaty staff, she cannot wait to finish it...sigh....end up so sick...You have such problem?
Rainbow,
This is normal. I think they have the impression: Proper meal will cause them to be fat n ugly. Whereas,heaty stuff or titbits are nice to eat. Afterall, when I sick, I don't need to do lots of chores n Mdm will pay for the medical/dental fees.
either we get used to this or change a maid if we cannot tolerate lots of issues.
This is normal. I think they have the impression: Proper meal will cause them to be fat n ugly. Whereas,heaty stuff or titbits are nice to eat. Afterall, when I sick, I don't need to do lots of chores n Mdm will pay for the medical/dental fees.
either we get used to this or change a maid if we cannot tolerate lots of issues.
chickensoup
Active Member
Hi anyone has any good filipino transfer maid please pm me. Preferably good with looking after newborn. Thanks!
linda_thea
New Member
Hi babycutie,
So your ex maid was from Lampung too? Gauze also want to steal, for what? Aiyoh.
Hi Lani
I would see in which way the maid told me not to wash with soap. I had experience where my maid questioned my mum regarding feeding my girl what seemed like plain porridge. She asked "por por, no veggie?" "Sweet?" hahaha...my mum told me she like so scared my girl will starve. But I guess it is the way the maids phrase their words. They do not know how to speak courteously.
Hi Courage
Like kc, I rather have a maid who truly cares for our kids. When there is love for the family, she will not purposely harm us. Esp impt when we leave them alone with kids.
I understand from experience mums, that most maids, alike employees, after a period of employment, sure will be more free in speech and thoughts. Just have to talk to them and put them in their place. I cite examples of myself having to be polite and courteous to my boss, even if I dun like it.
Hi rainbow,
hahaha...maids like children hor? If I specify that she cannot eat, then she still eat, I would be angry. And perhaps withdraw her priviledges for a time.
I also cannot stand rude maids...but then again, our degree of rude does not necessarily equate to their standard. Their kampung way of life is more laidback and might not know what is rude to us. Just communicate your thots ie "I do not like the way you talk, it is rude. I am sure you won't do it again."
My maid used to change my TV channels when she thought I was not watching it. After 2 times, I decided to tell her saying that "you cannot anyhow change people's channel. It is rude, even if you think others are not watching. Ask first." And from then she never did again.
So your ex maid was from Lampung too? Gauze also want to steal, for what? Aiyoh.
Hi Lani
I would see in which way the maid told me not to wash with soap. I had experience where my maid questioned my mum regarding feeding my girl what seemed like plain porridge. She asked "por por, no veggie?" "Sweet?" hahaha...my mum told me she like so scared my girl will starve. But I guess it is the way the maids phrase their words. They do not know how to speak courteously.
Hi Courage
Like kc, I rather have a maid who truly cares for our kids. When there is love for the family, she will not purposely harm us. Esp impt when we leave them alone with kids.
I understand from experience mums, that most maids, alike employees, after a period of employment, sure will be more free in speech and thoughts. Just have to talk to them and put them in their place. I cite examples of myself having to be polite and courteous to my boss, even if I dun like it.
Hi rainbow,
hahaha...maids like children hor? If I specify that she cannot eat, then she still eat, I would be angry. And perhaps withdraw her priviledges for a time.
I also cannot stand rude maids...but then again, our degree of rude does not necessarily equate to their standard. Their kampung way of life is more laidback and might not know what is rude to us. Just communicate your thots ie "I do not like the way you talk, it is rude. I am sure you won't do it again."
My maid used to change my TV channels when she thought I was not watching it. After 2 times, I decided to tell her saying that "you cannot anyhow change people's channel. It is rude, even if you think others are not watching. Ask first." And from then she never did again.
rainbow, linda,
my maid is not too bad, just that i think she's been working for me for almost a yr already, therefore she is a little more lax and relaxed in her attitude now, so at times she answers me back in a rude or impatient tone (esp when i repeat my instructions to her, or ask her if she's done something already), which i don't really like, cause i have never spoken to her in that manner before.
i know when she asked me to wash with water only and not to use soap, her concern was not to hurt my dd, but then the tone was very condescending towards me, as she said it quite fiercely and it did come across as giving me the order! i really didn't like it at all. some more, i didn't appreciate the fact that she assumed that me, the mother, will be so "stupid" as to hurt my dd when i wash her hands for her. come on lah, i have been taking care of my dd for 25mths already, as if i don't know how to do such simple tasks & will be so careless as to hurt my dd?
my maid is not too bad, just that i think she's been working for me for almost a yr already, therefore she is a little more lax and relaxed in her attitude now, so at times she answers me back in a rude or impatient tone (esp when i repeat my instructions to her, or ask her if she's done something already), which i don't really like, cause i have never spoken to her in that manner before.
i know when she asked me to wash with water only and not to use soap, her concern was not to hurt my dd, but then the tone was very condescending towards me, as she said it quite fiercely and it did come across as giving me the order! i really didn't like it at all. some more, i didn't appreciate the fact that she assumed that me, the mother, will be so "stupid" as to hurt my dd when i wash her hands for her. come on lah, i have been taking care of my dd for 25mths already, as if i don't know how to do such simple tasks & will be so careless as to hurt my dd?
rainbow,
about the food issue: my maid still eats quite little, but it's not as bad as last time, cause she kena warning already, and i think she is reasonably satisfied with her current weight. i do not have probs with her like your brownie episode, cause my maid is not given the freedom to just take as much cakes, brownies, etc that we happen to buy back or i happen to bake. whenever i buy back some cakes or i bake brownie (i just baked some on sunday!), i will put aside her portion for her and tell her that is hers. she will take her portion and will not disturb ours, even if ours got leftovers.
about the food issue: my maid still eats quite little, but it's not as bad as last time, cause she kena warning already, and i think she is reasonably satisfied with her current weight. i do not have probs with her like your brownie episode, cause my maid is not given the freedom to just take as much cakes, brownies, etc that we happen to buy back or i happen to bake. whenever i buy back some cakes or i bake brownie (i just baked some on sunday!), i will put aside her portion for her and tell her that is hers. she will take her portion and will not disturb ours, even if ours got leftovers.
glad
Active Member
Babycutie,
I've the same problem like you.. my relative who comes over the wkdays to look after my kiddos just loves to comment on my maids... buay tahan.. saying that the maids i chose are lousy lah, maid agencies no good la.. etc.. always said her neighbour's maid is the best!!!
The maid who ran away from my hse was also from Lampung...
Just to share.. last afternoon, saw a maid and her bf at the ground flr... holding hands and chatting away.. they spoke bahasa indonesia.. bf's hair so long.. dun noe if he's a illegal immgrant.. afternoon not working, can come and look for gf.. if i ever saw the maid with her employer, i definitely tell on HER!
I've the same problem like you.. my relative who comes over the wkdays to look after my kiddos just loves to comment on my maids... buay tahan.. saying that the maids i chose are lousy lah, maid agencies no good la.. etc.. always said her neighbour's maid is the best!!!
The maid who ran away from my hse was also from Lampung...
Just to share.. last afternoon, saw a maid and her bf at the ground flr... holding hands and chatting away.. they spoke bahasa indonesia.. bf's hair so long.. dun noe if he's a illegal immgrant.. afternoon not working, can come and look for gf.. if i ever saw the maid with her employer, i definitely tell on HER!
KC,
Yes I will only treat my maid as good as my boss treat me.
Lani,
I will not accept any condescending tone from my maid, will definitely tell her off immediately and let her know my displeasure. You are quite friendly with your maid is it ? Did you tell her how good you think she is ? She may think that you cannot do without her, that's why she is getting more relaxed in her attitude.
Courage,
Hehehe so long as have 2 eyes, 1 nose and 1 mouth, will not cause kids to have nightmares lah When I collected one of my maids at the agency, I got a shock when I saw her looks. She got teeth which really protrudes out. But she turns out to be very good with my kids, both of them like her very much.
I used to have a maid who have many boyfriends in the neighbourhood, I sent her back when I found out. I find her not pretty at all, the face a bit fierce. But I guess stupid men are not after very pretty ones, so long as OK looking and willing can already. So get a maid whose looks can scare off people is the best.
As for your maid, I think you can try to adopt a stricter and tougher management style, so that she knows her place.
Yes I will only treat my maid as good as my boss treat me.
Lani,
I will not accept any condescending tone from my maid, will definitely tell her off immediately and let her know my displeasure. You are quite friendly with your maid is it ? Did you tell her how good you think she is ? She may think that you cannot do without her, that's why she is getting more relaxed in her attitude.
Courage,
Hehehe so long as have 2 eyes, 1 nose and 1 mouth, will not cause kids to have nightmares lah When I collected one of my maids at the agency, I got a shock when I saw her looks. She got teeth which really protrudes out. But she turns out to be very good with my kids, both of them like her very much.
I used to have a maid who have many boyfriends in the neighbourhood, I sent her back when I found out. I find her not pretty at all, the face a bit fierce. But I guess stupid men are not after very pretty ones, so long as OK looking and willing can already. So get a maid whose looks can scare off people is the best.
As for your maid, I think you can try to adopt a stricter and tougher management style, so that she knows her place.
Tam,
I was laughing when i see the part...get a maid which can scare of people? LIke that me and the kids will suffer becoz we got to face them everday leh!
I guess the maturity and mentality of the maid has to play a part too...some maids are easily swayed and preyed by the hungry wolves out there.
I was laughing when i see the part...get a maid which can scare of people? LIke that me and the kids will suffer becoz we got to face them everday leh!
I guess the maturity and mentality of the maid has to play a part too...some maids are easily swayed and preyed by the hungry wolves out there.
linda_thea
New Member
Hi Lani
oh, it sounds like she is TELLING you off... I think if she does it again, will have to tell her off. Reckon she will continue doing so if you allow her. My maid once, while chatting with me, lie on floor continuing to chat. I was like HUH??? hahaha... Then I told her cannot do that. Sometimes they really have to be reminded.
Hi Tamarind,
kekeke... too ugly also scare leh. wait scare other children also. we get used to their looks after a while though isnt it? So ugly also never mind lah. How did you ex maid managed to have so many boyfriends? How did you find out? I was thinking if I shld do a spot check in my maid's drawers one of these days. She's here for 4 mths and we have been quite lax with her and she is alone at home from 9+ to 1245pm and sometimes on weekends.
oh, it sounds like she is TELLING you off... I think if she does it again, will have to tell her off. Reckon she will continue doing so if you allow her. My maid once, while chatting with me, lie on floor continuing to chat. I was like HUH??? hahaha... Then I told her cannot do that. Sometimes they really have to be reminded.
Hi Tamarind,
kekeke... too ugly also scare leh. wait scare other children also. we get used to their looks after a while though isnt it? So ugly also never mind lah. How did you ex maid managed to have so many boyfriends? How did you find out? I was thinking if I shld do a spot check in my maid's drawers one of these days. She's here for 4 mths and we have been quite lax with her and she is alone at home from 9+ to 1245pm and sometimes on weekends.
Linda,
My ex-maid used to have off day once a month. I also made the mistake of letting her go out once a week to buy her own groceries, she was supposed to walk to NTUC to buy and be back within 1 hour. Even with such a short time, she can also make boyfriends. I found out only when I hired my father's maid. She told that maid everything, like how her boyfriends fought over her. That maid then told my mother. My father's maid was mad with her, because she was supposed to cook food for both of them, but she gave her portion to her boyfriend ! My father's maid had to eat maggie noodles. You know how that terrible maid pass the food to her boyfriend ? She would bring the food out when she went out to throw rubbish, the boyfriend would meet her at the rubbish bin. Like this also can. Imagine using my money to feed her boyfriend !!!
Does your maid have off days ? Does she carry a handphone ? One tell tale sign is if the maid keep wanting to talk on the telephone, most likely she is talking to boyfriend.
If she is alone at home, you can put the house key inside an envelope and seal it. This way if she goes out, or if she let someone in, you will know. Not unless the boyfriend climb window to come in lah.
My ex-maid used to have off day once a month. I also made the mistake of letting her go out once a week to buy her own groceries, she was supposed to walk to NTUC to buy and be back within 1 hour. Even with such a short time, she can also make boyfriends. I found out only when I hired my father's maid. She told that maid everything, like how her boyfriends fought over her. That maid then told my mother. My father's maid was mad with her, because she was supposed to cook food for both of them, but she gave her portion to her boyfriend ! My father's maid had to eat maggie noodles. You know how that terrible maid pass the food to her boyfriend ? She would bring the food out when she went out to throw rubbish, the boyfriend would meet her at the rubbish bin. Like this also can. Imagine using my money to feed her boyfriend !!!
Does your maid have off days ? Does she carry a handphone ? One tell tale sign is if the maid keep wanting to talk on the telephone, most likely she is talking to boyfriend.
If she is alone at home, you can put the house key inside an envelope and seal it. This way if she goes out, or if she let someone in, you will know. Not unless the boyfriend climb window to come in lah.
Linda,
I am puzzled also. And she steal quite a lot of it hor.... Dunno what she wanna do with it....
tamarind,
thk with kids around cannot get too ugly one oso leh... Will scare the kids off
Lani,
maybe u r lenient n friendly with the maid that's why she dare to answer u.
I am puzzled also. And she steal quite a lot of it hor.... Dunno what she wanna do with it....
tamarind,
thk with kids around cannot get too ugly one oso leh... Will scare the kids off
Lani,
maybe u r lenient n friendly with the maid that's why she dare to answer u.
linda_thea
New Member
Hi tamarind
kekeke... no need to look at your maid often lah. I also realised I dun really look into my maid's face often leh, most of the time from a distance too.
Oh... One hour can do a lot of things lor. Buy her own food and cook what he bf like to eat. very smart leh. Luckily for your father's maid. Thank goodness the other maid wasn't swayed by the bad one.
I let my maid hold the house key. Cos she leaves the house in the afternoon to fetch my girl from school and then wait for me at school to fetch them to my mum's house. She has a HP given by me, but she doesn't have the number, it's on top of her drawer daily... till now also haven't ask me charge for her, reckon she doesn't use it.
I wanna check her drawers just to ease my worries abt stealing... sounds mean though, like invading privacy. But I wonder if I have been too LAX lor, cos we leave things around the house, loose change, hubby's notes from shirt pockets etc... Never discover anything missing though but we also never really pay attention. And my mum does the same at her house. yet I scare find something then how?? She has been good with work so far. humans... really both sides to a coin leh
hi babycutie
Gauze?? Lots of it? Hmm... do facials ah?
kekeke... no need to look at your maid often lah. I also realised I dun really look into my maid's face often leh, most of the time from a distance too.
Oh... One hour can do a lot of things lor. Buy her own food and cook what he bf like to eat. very smart leh. Luckily for your father's maid. Thank goodness the other maid wasn't swayed by the bad one.
I let my maid hold the house key. Cos she leaves the house in the afternoon to fetch my girl from school and then wait for me at school to fetch them to my mum's house. She has a HP given by me, but she doesn't have the number, it's on top of her drawer daily... till now also haven't ask me charge for her, reckon she doesn't use it.
I wanna check her drawers just to ease my worries abt stealing... sounds mean though, like invading privacy. But I wonder if I have been too LAX lor, cos we leave things around the house, loose change, hubby's notes from shirt pockets etc... Never discover anything missing though but we also never really pay attention. And my mum does the same at her house. yet I scare find something then how?? She has been good with work so far. humans... really both sides to a coin leh
hi babycutie
Gauze?? Lots of it? Hmm... do facials ah?
babycutie, tamarind,
actually i am not so friendly with my maid, but i am definitely not mean to her or ever raise my voice at her. sometimes when she does something terribly wrong i will reprimand/lecture her and if she does something that is not to my expectation/standard i will tell her. the thing is, i don't like ppl to repeat the same mistakes again, or to forget my instructions, so i sometimes like to repeat them to her, and i can tell that at times she finds it irritating. but i don't care lor, cause i am the employer and i have every right to repeat my instructions a few times, just to make sure she gets it.
also, i actually have never told her that directly how good i think she is, and she DEFINITELY knows that she is NOT indispensable, cause she only does the housework ard the house, most of the impt stuff, esp when it comes to my dd, i still do myself.
i think part of the problem lies with my parents also lah. they are VERY nice to her, and treat her almost like a close family member, will chat with her, etc. my parents come and stay over my place once a week every THur night. then some weekends we all will stay over at my parents' place, i/c the maid.
cause both hubby and i have noticed that at times aft my parents' visit, her sttitude will change slightly, ie. that's when she gets irritated easily by me or impatient with me, or answers me in an inappropriate tone.
haiz...if the next time my parents come ard and her attitude like tat again then i have no choice but to tell my parents not to be too friendly with her, cause it affects her and she starts showing disrespect to me.
you know, ever once she told my parents that she LOVES to eat durians, then a few wks later my parents can actually buy back soo much durians for her from m'sia leh! haiz...how not to treat me with respect? she prob thinks her mdm not so great but her mdm's parents sooo nice and treat her sooo well...
actually i am not so friendly with my maid, but i am definitely not mean to her or ever raise my voice at her. sometimes when she does something terribly wrong i will reprimand/lecture her and if she does something that is not to my expectation/standard i will tell her. the thing is, i don't like ppl to repeat the same mistakes again, or to forget my instructions, so i sometimes like to repeat them to her, and i can tell that at times she finds it irritating. but i don't care lor, cause i am the employer and i have every right to repeat my instructions a few times, just to make sure she gets it.
also, i actually have never told her that directly how good i think she is, and she DEFINITELY knows that she is NOT indispensable, cause she only does the housework ard the house, most of the impt stuff, esp when it comes to my dd, i still do myself.
i think part of the problem lies with my parents also lah. they are VERY nice to her, and treat her almost like a close family member, will chat with her, etc. my parents come and stay over my place once a week every THur night. then some weekends we all will stay over at my parents' place, i/c the maid.
cause both hubby and i have noticed that at times aft my parents' visit, her sttitude will change slightly, ie. that's when she gets irritated easily by me or impatient with me, or answers me in an inappropriate tone.
haiz...if the next time my parents come ard and her attitude like tat again then i have no choice but to tell my parents not to be too friendly with her, cause it affects her and she starts showing disrespect to me.
you know, ever once she told my parents that she LOVES to eat durians, then a few wks later my parents can actually buy back soo much durians for her from m'sia leh! haiz...how not to treat me with respect? she prob thinks her mdm not so great but her mdm's parents sooo nice and treat her sooo well...
Lani,
We faced the same root of problem!!! My parents are also like yours!!! Super nice to maid thinking they are the most pitiful to leave country for work and earn only $10 per day. Will pack her favourite food for lunch if not cooking, invite her to eat all titbits found in their house, give her clothes and travel souvenirs (now my store piling up), allow her to feast on chilli (something I would like to control not because I am a freak but because my maid does not know her limit and she often ended with sore throat), etc. I think she feel so comfortable and lost thinking she is part of the family and my parents will side her. I noticed she will become lax each time I return from overseas work trips. Everything slow motion and because she didn't watch her tongue sometimes the her replies to me sounded rude. Not that I enjoy telling her off but I had to and she will then buck up again. But after awhile history repeats. She used to be ok with my reminders but recently I noticed a few times she blackface.
I asked her last week if she intend to continue she told me "don't know". I was pissed with her reply so I answered "I also don't know if want to continue you". She was taken aback by my reply and quickly said if I don't continue she will have to work another 8 months for nothing if go back to agency to find another employer. Then why did she in the first place answered "don;t know"? Sometimes cannot understand what goes in their heads.
We faced the same root of problem!!! My parents are also like yours!!! Super nice to maid thinking they are the most pitiful to leave country for work and earn only $10 per day. Will pack her favourite food for lunch if not cooking, invite her to eat all titbits found in their house, give her clothes and travel souvenirs (now my store piling up), allow her to feast on chilli (something I would like to control not because I am a freak but because my maid does not know her limit and she often ended with sore throat), etc. I think she feel so comfortable and lost thinking she is part of the family and my parents will side her. I noticed she will become lax each time I return from overseas work trips. Everything slow motion and because she didn't watch her tongue sometimes the her replies to me sounded rude. Not that I enjoy telling her off but I had to and she will then buck up again. But after awhile history repeats. She used to be ok with my reminders but recently I noticed a few times she blackface.
I asked her last week if she intend to continue she told me "don't know". I was pissed with her reply so I answered "I also don't know if want to continue you". She was taken aback by my reply and quickly said if I don't continue she will have to work another 8 months for nothing if go back to agency to find another employer. Then why did she in the first place answered "don;t know"? Sometimes cannot understand what goes in their heads.
Anway she is from Lampung too. Except for 1. trying my clothes when I not home (initially), 2. eating my food secretly without permission (initially), 3. reading my personal documents and photos when I not home(initially), 4.lazing occasionally, she has been clean with money and all.
But she has corrected herself on 1-3. Other maids taught her about 1., 2. because she is generally a glutton, 3. because she is curious creature, 4. understandable because we as employees also skive at times. I don't know of anyone who does not let's be frank.
So I think Lampung = dis-honest is sweeping statement. In fact I think they are better than Surabaya maids.
But she has corrected herself on 1-3. Other maids taught her about 1., 2. because she is generally a glutton, 3. because she is curious creature, 4. understandable because we as employees also skive at times. I don't know of anyone who does not let's be frank.
So I think Lampung = dis-honest is sweeping statement. In fact I think they are better than Surabaya maids.
I agree with Courage. My current maid who is with me for 1 mth is from Lampung. Till date, she had yet to do anything that really make me frustrated. However, as she does not know how to "sweet talk" to my MIL, my MIL still dislike her. The previous maid sweet talk till everything she says my MIL will say "correct". My MIL will say things like "oh, she is having a toothache and can't work today."
Frankly speaking, I rather have a maid who duno how to sweet talk her way to not doing anything.
Frankly speaking, I rather have a maid who duno how to sweet talk her way to not doing anything.
linda_thea
New Member
Hi Lani
Yes, I get this too... My mum quite like my maid, and honestly, she's been good to my mother too. My mum never had to tell my maid what to do, my maid finds things to do once the children nap. SO my mum bought her pimple cream... and from the SAME shop I got my facial products also hor! So I got to tell my maid, NOT everyday you get this kind of treatment. She likes to eat chilli, so my mum cooks chilli chicken for her. Wow, like another daughter lor. But my maid is kind, my mum offer her some $ for helping out at her house daily. She refused to take it and said that Mdm already got give $$. In the end, I took it for her.
Hi Courage
So many maids from lampung... How do your maid send money home? I heard there is only one bank in Lampung, is that right? I haven't solved the problem of sending $ home for her...
I do not agree with sweeping statements lah... every town also got good and bad ones. hahaha...cannot be saying AMK residents are better than Jurong people mah.
How did you caught her trying your clothes? Funny... It was nice of you to continue using her services for fault 1-3.... To me, fault 3 is very serious wor.
Yes, I get this too... My mum quite like my maid, and honestly, she's been good to my mother too. My mum never had to tell my maid what to do, my maid finds things to do once the children nap. SO my mum bought her pimple cream... and from the SAME shop I got my facial products also hor! So I got to tell my maid, NOT everyday you get this kind of treatment. She likes to eat chilli, so my mum cooks chilli chicken for her. Wow, like another daughter lor. But my maid is kind, my mum offer her some $ for helping out at her house daily. She refused to take it and said that Mdm already got give $$. In the end, I took it for her.
Hi Courage
So many maids from lampung... How do your maid send money home? I heard there is only one bank in Lampung, is that right? I haven't solved the problem of sending $ home for her...
I do not agree with sweeping statements lah... every town also got good and bad ones. hahaha...cannot be saying AMK residents are better than Jurong people mah.
How did you caught her trying your clothes? Funny... It was nice of you to continue using her services for fault 1-3.... To me, fault 3 is very serious wor.
gosh looks like its the norm dat after some time, maids 4get who is the boss ard the hse, defy instructions, talk back and lie. then when we tell them off, our parents or parents in law jump to their defence, making us look like the bad n evil ones.
last sat i was just involve in a case like this. my gg fell from her tricycle when she was being fed by my maid. instead of telling me wat happened, she kept quiet abt it. i know it was not really her fault dat my gg fell. but she should come n tell me abt it. when my mil told me abt the incident, i asked her y she didn't tell me. her reply was, "old ma didn't tell u meh?"
i asked her who was feeding her when my gg fell. she said it was her. then i asked her y isn't she the one who tell me then still must wait for my mil to tell me. then my father jumped to her defence, saying that its actually ok, no big deal dat my gg fell so no need to tell me.
i know it was not really a big issue. i just wanted to remind her once again after repeated reminders to tell me things she should.
how can we stay in the same hse, go hm everyday and not know wats going on in the hse esp it concerns our child or children? does it makes us look like fools not to know what happened to them when we were out working?
last sat i was just involve in a case like this. my gg fell from her tricycle when she was being fed by my maid. instead of telling me wat happened, she kept quiet abt it. i know it was not really her fault dat my gg fell. but she should come n tell me abt it. when my mil told me abt the incident, i asked her y she didn't tell me. her reply was, "old ma didn't tell u meh?"
i asked her who was feeding her when my gg fell. she said it was her. then i asked her y isn't she the one who tell me then still must wait for my mil to tell me. then my father jumped to her defence, saying that its actually ok, no big deal dat my gg fell so no need to tell me.
i know it was not really a big issue. i just wanted to remind her once again after repeated reminders to tell me things she should.
how can we stay in the same hse, go hm everyday and not know wats going on in the hse esp it concerns our child or children? does it makes us look like fools not to know what happened to them when we were out working?
Hi anyone wif exp on taking transfer maid ?
I was told to pay for the maid levy and maids' salary to Agency who then reimbursed in return the levey to ex employer. however, they'll keep the maid's salary. in addition, there's a upfront 2 months collection.
I find this very unfair for the maid !!
I was told to pay for the maid levy and maids' salary to Agency who then reimbursed in return the levey to ex employer. however, they'll keep the maid's salary. in addition, there's a upfront 2 months collection.
I find this very unfair for the maid !!
Dramaqueen,
I also wana know what happen to my son when I am not around. But I guess, those at home have the thinking "she is working and will be tired. better not tell her things incase she cant concentrate on her work" Frankly speaking, I rather know what is happening than for me to keep guessing "did anything happen today?"
I also wana know what happen to my son when I am not around. But I guess, those at home have the thinking "she is working and will be tired. better not tell her things incase she cant concentrate on her work" Frankly speaking, I rather know what is happening than for me to keep guessing "did anything happen today?"
rachel,
yes i find this is a very unfair practice to the maid, esp if the maid did not choose to be transferred out. unfortunately this seems to be the industry practice. when i got my maid from another mum on this forum, i had 2 options. if i wish to get the agency to just do the paperwork for me then i have nothing to do with them anymore (ie. no guarantees, no replacements, etc) then they will not take 2mths of my maid's salary. however, if i choose the other option (ie retain agency's svcs) they will take her 2mths salary. so i chose the 1st option. i don't think it's fair to take the maid's salary in this instance lor.
yes i find this is a very unfair practice to the maid, esp if the maid did not choose to be transferred out. unfortunately this seems to be the industry practice. when i got my maid from another mum on this forum, i had 2 options. if i wish to get the agency to just do the paperwork for me then i have nothing to do with them anymore (ie. no guarantees, no replacements, etc) then they will not take 2mths of my maid's salary. however, if i choose the other option (ie retain agency's svcs) they will take her 2mths salary. so i chose the 1st option. i don't think it's fair to take the maid's salary in this instance lor.
myIvera,
exactly. I would appreciate it if someone would tell me, luckily my mil did, rather than to find bruises or cuts on her then ask wat happened then get a shock.
i was at a maid agency in search 4 a new maid last sat. i chanced upon a lady wif her hb looking for a new maid as well. i was shocked to hear her story.
her mil or sil knew dat the maid hit her boy n told her abt it. she thought it was ok for her maid to discipline him if necessary. she didn't think much abt it till he kept waking up in the middle of the nite crying and screaming, refused to sleep. to me it was a sign of shock which i told her dat. she agreed. she told me she found blue black bruises on all over her son's body! My goodness! wat have happened all this while?
the strange thing is my maid has looked after my gg since the day she was an infant brought back from hospital. she has never liked her and was never close to her. she would still like scream to get away from her.
exactly. I would appreciate it if someone would tell me, luckily my mil did, rather than to find bruises or cuts on her then ask wat happened then get a shock.
i was at a maid agency in search 4 a new maid last sat. i chanced upon a lady wif her hb looking for a new maid as well. i was shocked to hear her story.
her mil or sil knew dat the maid hit her boy n told her abt it. she thought it was ok for her maid to discipline him if necessary. she didn't think much abt it till he kept waking up in the middle of the nite crying and screaming, refused to sleep. to me it was a sign of shock which i told her dat. she agreed. she told me she found blue black bruises on all over her son's body! My goodness! wat have happened all this while?
the strange thing is my maid has looked after my gg since the day she was an infant brought back from hospital. she has never liked her and was never close to her. she would still like scream to get away from her.
