Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

[amama]

Hi Cookie

Even though your phone cannot make IDD calls, she can buy a type of calling card that allows her to call home using that. i.e. she can make overseas call through local phones or public phones.

Re: handphone, most maids now do have handphone, it will be good to set some guidelines on the usage of the handphone during her working hours i.e. strictly no phone calls from 8 am - 7 pm or something around that so that she still keep her focus on the phone. Her handphone bills should be paid by herself too.

 

[amama]

Hi Cookie

Have you verified with the agent why he is keeping the maid's handphone ? such are the personal belongings of the maid that I believed the agent has no rights to keep her handphone. I suggest you verify this with the agent to see if what the maid claimed is true.

 

[orchid]

hi lenny,

can you send me the list? can pm me.

i will be taking over my mom's maid soon. right now, i think she abit slipshod but can't blame her cos now there's no proper system in place. i was just thinking about preparing a list of chores & appraisal etc.

 

[orchid]

hi cookie, my mom's maid buys her own calling card. she use the calling card to call home once a week - cheaper than hp charges. she also has her own hp, using hi card. but only use on weekends when her husband calls her. oh, her husband also working overseas.

 

[orchid]

hi lenny, got the mail. thanks.

not sure if i should do the appraisal with my mom's maid. although i'm going to take over her, she's still technically my mom's maid now. but i really feel my mom needs some kind of system to ensure that the maid is doing her job.

she's very articulate. speaks english, chinese & indonesian. but i find that she really speak too much. sigh...her primary role was to look after my grandma, which she has done pretty well.

i stayed at my mom's place during my confinement month and noticed alot of things that slip my mom. does things very slip shod. she does things fast but not thorough. if the thing can be put off, she will do so until one of us remembers and ask her if she has done it - eg. cleaning fridge, wiping down cupboard.

and she doesn't want to use her brain. every time ask "what to do, what to eat, how to cook". at first i thought she doesn't know. but after observing her, i realise that she's asking cos she doesn't want to think. and if it happens that she does it wrongly, she can say "mum say this.. or mum say that.. " so when i catch her asking, i will just tell her straight that she knows what to do. and if she does it wrong, she shouldn't put the blame on someone.

i suppose we can't have it perfect...

 

[amama]

Hi Orchid

It's quite common for maid to "shift" the blame on someone else. If she's been with your mom for some time already, it might be difficult to introduce an appraisal system for her since she might not be happy about it but then again, if she's your maid, then let her know that's your style of managing the performance of a maid.

Sometimes, they get too comfortable and things tend to slip - therefore they need reminders now and then. As for cooking , what I did initially was to write down the menu for the week and ask her to follow. I will write down what I want to be cook each day of the week, as for how it's to be done, I leave it to my maid if I know she knows how to do it unless it's a new dish I will then teach her.

Yes, we can't have it perfect, sometimes gotta close one eye if she can manage the important tasks very well but the less important tasks is so-so. If she cannot manage the important tasks well (e.g. care giving) then it's pointless to keep her even if she whips a fantastic meal or does other areas well.

 

[lanichua]

hi lenny,
can you send me the list also? email to [email protected] THANKS!

 

[amama]

Hi Lani

I have sent you the file.

 

[sourapple]

Lenny & Orchid,
Thanks for your advice. I guess i've to call my agent to find out why her hp has been kept.

 

[amama]

Hi Cookie

Yup, better to verify with the agent to see if the maid is telling the truth. The agent could have kept her handphone (if it's true) due to some debts the maid owed the agent.

My maid told me all of sudden she has decided to give up her handphone today, after she attend service last sunday and her pastor was preaching about maids and mobile phone usage and how they should not waste their money on mobile phone bills and to remember that such indulgence will result in them having less money for their family members.

 

[orchid]

hi lenny, replied you but your mail bounced. can you email me the attachment to [email protected]. thanks!

 

[amama]

Hi Orchid

I have sent you the file. You might have send to the my old email address which is no longer in used ?

 

[orchid]

on hygiene..

if your maid is to look after the baby, must make sure she's aware of hygiene & cleanliness matters. even though the maid may have kids at home, they're standard of hygiene may not be as high as here - eg. they don't use steriliser.

when i was in my mom's place, the maid will tap the teat of the bottle to check if the milk is warm. both my mom (a nurse some more) & i scolded her & went over with her hygiene matters.

we told her countless times not to touch anything to do with the milk (EBM). i put the milk bottle in warm water & asked her to bring it to me. she said she was trying to be helpful so wanted to test before passing us the bottle.

so now she doesn't touch anything to do with the milk. but she helps in the washing & sterilising of bottles when i'm in my mom's place. taught her how to use the steriliser and repeat many times never to touch the teat - must use the little clipper to put the teat through the ring.

 

[amama]

Hi Orchid,

When interviewing the maid, I would ask whether she has experience using a steam steriliser before and will ask her baby related questions to test if she knows her stuff e.g. what will she do if baby cries, hwo to make baby food, etc.

No long nails if you are hiring a maid to look after babies and this must be done prior to hiring a maid i.e. if she has long nails, I will ask her if she's willing to cut and not keep long nails during the interview and chances are I won't hire.

In my spreadsheet, there were instructions pertaining to hygience that must be adhered to. e.g. washing of hand with handsoap, rinsing the pacifier with hot water if it dropped, and my maid even sterilised the pacifier all the time without me having to instruct her to do so. i use a separate container to contain those bottles that was washed but waiting to be sterilised, cos the steriliser can only take 6 bottles and I have more about 10 bottles so the unsterilised ones must be kept at one side covered in the container to be sterilised at the next batch.

Also, my maid knows how to use the Avent bottle warmer as her previous employer taught her . In her previous employment, her employer ask her to filled up the bottles with normal temp water and put the bottle in the warmer to get the right temperature, before adding milk powder into it. That way, every time a bottle has been used, she will fill up the next sterilised bottle with normal drinking water and put into the warmer to get the right temperature. I dun use this method not sure if it works well.

I have alot of baby books on caring and preparation of milk etc which I pass to my maid to read , as well as baby magazines so that she learnt, am glad that she likes to read these and will share with me what she learnt or read from the magazines.

 

[adelyee]

hi lenny

am very interested in looking at ur spreadsheet.. can u send it to me pls? thanks. my maid is coming in on tuesday.

 

[adelyee]

oops.. forgot to add. [email protected]

 

[ah_cat]

Hi lenny,
Would appreciate if u can send me too at:
[email protected]

Thks.

 

[islandpub]

hi lenny,

i ve juz got a maid recently and would appreciate greatly if you can pls share with me your detailed spreadsheet! my email is [email protected]
thanks a lot!

 

[kckc]

Lenny,
Can i have the spreadsheet too for reference. My email is [email protected]

Thank you very much.

 

[amama]

Hi,

i have sent the file yesterday.

 

[babycutie]

Lenny,
Can I have one for reference too.
[email protected]

 

[cheerful_mum]

Lenny
may i also have a copy of your spreadsheet please? [email protected]

Thanks

 

[jamie_c78]

Hi Lenny
Can i also have a copy of your spreadsheet please? [email protected]

Thanks

 

[reenie]

hi lenny,

i am interested in the spreadsheet too , can u email me at [email protected]

Many thanks!

 

[nnoelles]

Hi Lenny,
Can you send me a copy of yr spreadsheet at
[email protected]

Thanks in advance =)

 

[starpris]

hi lenny,

i just got a tranfer maid 3 months ago and she is giving me headache, very esperience but always think she knows everything. pls share with me your detailed spreadsheet! my email is is [email protected]
thanks a million!

 

[giggler]

Hi, need your advice, do you think if I shd ask the agent to 'counsel' our maid if we not happy with her? Not sure if we shd do it cos scared she not happy after that. But we dun want her to get worse leh. She's only here for abt 2 weeks but start to "geng" liao. Sigh... Think it's one of the disadv of getting experienced maid.

 

[kckc]

happy,
Most transfer maid ...got some problem with previous exmployer, eg attitude problem or cant work, a lot reasons one.. thats why she was being transferred.

Giggler, why dont u sit down and talk it out with her...if it doesnt work then ask yr agent to come in. Experienced maid tends to be 'geng' and difficult to follow our ways of doing things as they are sometimes to season in doing things at their ex-employer and they are mind-set so quite difficult for them to change...
There is pros and cons in getting expereinced and fresh maid...fresh maid will need a lot of training and patient. Probably you have to tell her that she got to change her mindset since she is now working for you and she has to mould away all her old ways. Hope this help!

 

[starpris]

kc..i m so surprise when my husband told her that if her attitude don change, we will buy ticket to send her back, she reply..""ok lor. The most I reapply and come back again..""
I wanted send her off but afraid to get another one that is worse. I am giving her chances to change thus i am coming up with schedule to get her to follow..
Do u think it good?

 

[tamarind]

happy,
You can go to MOM to blacklist a maid so that she can never work in Singapore again. My neighbour did that because her maid stole from her.

Giggler,
I agree with KC, try to talk nicely to your maid first. Never scold her no matter how angry you are. I did this to one of my ex-maid, she went crazy and start banging things.

For experienced maids, it is best to hire those whose previous work was very very tough. Like my maid's ex-employer made her wash 6 people's clothes by hand every day, in addition to mopping a 2 storey house twice a day, cooking etc. When she came to my house she was so happy and appreciative.

 

[giggler]

KC & tamarind, ok... think I'll sit down and talk to her first. I talk to agent and she asked me to bring the maid to her for 'counselling'

 

[starpris]

tamarind,
my maid is doing that to us, banging on things.
I wanted to counsell her but don know how to do it!! can help?
she does not appeciate our employment. she starts to do funny things like read my magazine when i m asleep. Ask her to follow my instruction she act as thou she did not hear.
I like her cos she is experience in housework n cook. What should i do.
I have not really sit down to talk to her, don know y i seem like scare to make her angry.
Anyway, i think she is not happy cos she signed up course in philippine embassey but we rejected her to attend. Cos in her contract we say one off day in a month. she agreed. After working for us 2 months she request the one off day to spit into 2 half days. N we rejected. Then she starts to give attitude. What should i do..anyone???????

 

[tamarind]

happy,
Your maid is so similar to my 3rd filipino maid ! I have 5 maids already.

It looks like your maid really has no heart to work for you. Is she very good at housework and cooking ? If you really cannot do without her, then talk to her nicely, ask her what you can do to make her happy. You may have to give in a little, if you still want to employ her.

You can also try to ask the agent to talk to her. If this fails, then I am afraid it is time for you to look for a new maid. I don't think you should put up with this type of behaviour at all. There are many good, hardworking and obedient maids out there, it just takes more effort to find.

 

[kckc]

happy,
From the way you describe your maid, seems like she has attitude problem! Since you really like her experience in housework and cooking, you really have to sit down with her and have a heart-to-heart talk. Or get yr hb in the talk with you too.
Filippino maids always WANTS their rights, their entitlement etc etc..If you give them something less, they will either be grouchy, not happy, show face or got attitue problem. So better for you to solve it now then drag on...

I agree with Tamarind if all fails, its time to consider getting a replacement. Dont be scared of getting another one that might not be as good. For houswork and cooking, it takes a little bit time to train up but for attitude problem, it can never be trained up.

 

[starpris]

tamarind,
I do no hv a agent, i employ her on my own. Thus i need to do all the stuff myself. I am drafting a schedule for her to follow. if she is still the same then i will send her home.

kc,
my hb talks to her liao, she listen then after a week her attitude is there again. Don know what wrong w her.

Wanted to keep her cos of convenient but seem like i m so afraid of her instead of counsell her. very coward right !!

Can anyone help me..can i hv a look at your daily schedule for your maid???

I guess my biggest mistake is too kind to her and never look into or monitor her work. Never even give her schedule to follow. Thus she is so so free, till can read story books and never ask permission look into my magazine.

 

[tamarind]

happy,
I posted a timetable earlier in this thread which has been archived. Copy and paste here again.

6:00am Wake up feed milk to my girl (she can drink herself), and my baby boy. Wash and sterilize milk bottles. Hand wash baby clothes and hang to dry. Hand wash her own clothes, and any kitchen floor towels and hang to dry. She cannot use the washing machine to wash her clothes. Cook oatmeal for my mother for her breakfast. Wipe table tops.

8:00am Eat breakfast. Start to prepare porridge for the children.

9:00am Bathe my boy

10:00am Feed porridge to the children. My mother will feed my girl, my maid will feed my boy.

12:00noon Bathe my girl. Cook for herself only and eat lunch. My mother prefers to cook on her own. Then play with the children.

2:30pm - 6:00pm The children will sleep. My maid will fold baby clothes, mob the floor, and prepare for dinner for me. Bathe herself.

6:00pm Feed the children porridge. Cook dinner for me.

8:00pm - 9:00pm Wash all dishes, clean the kitchen and wipe the kitchen floor, must kneel down and use hand to wipe 2 times.

9:00pm - 10:30pm Play with the children. Bathe my girl. Clean and wipe my boy.

10:30pm Feed the children. My maid sleeps with my son in one room, my mother sleeps with my girl in another room.

Once a week:
1. Wash toilets
2. Do marketing
3. Change and wash mattress and pillow covers

 

[ah_cat]

Hi Lenny,
Thanks for your spreadsheet. I do a slight amendment & print out for my maid to follow.

Hi happy,
This is my timetable. I think my maid has the better life than any other maids cos she dun have to cook for dinner.

<table border=1><tr><td> </TD></TR><TR><TD>Time</TD><TD>Task </TD></TR><TR><TD>6:00am</TD><TD>Wake up, feed the cats &amp; eat breakfast. </TD></TR><TR><TD>6:30am</TD><TD>Brush the cats. Scoup out their poo, put them into the newspaper &amp; throw into the rubbish chute outside. </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Handwash your own clothings &amp; baby's clothings </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Wipe all tabletops </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Weekly task: </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Thurs: Go market &amp; buy food/fruits. </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Fri: Change the cat's litter every Fri. </TD></TR><TR><TD>8:30am</TD><TD>Prepare our breakfast. </TD></TR><TR><TD>9:00am</TD><TD>Bathe yourself </TD></TR><TR><TD>10am</TD><TD>Bathe Baby &amp; feed her gripe water </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Play &amp; sing song with her </TD></TR><TR><TD>10:30am</TD><TD>Feed &amp; burp Baby </TD></TR><TR><TD>12:00pm</TD><TD>Cook or buy lunch </TD></TR><TR><TD>1:00pm</TD><TD>Sweep &amp; mop the floor. </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Water the plants </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Look after baby </TD></TR><TR><TD>2pm</TD><TD>Baby: Change diaper, feed &amp; burp her. </TD></TR><TR><TD>2:30pm</TD><TD>Continue the housework. </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Weekly task: </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Mon: Vacuum the floor, cushion &amp; cat tree. </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Tues: Wipe the kitchen &amp; study room glass doors. Change the mattress covers. </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Wed: Wash the toilets. </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Thurs: Wipe windows </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD>Fri: Ironing. </TD></TR><TR><TD>5pm</TD><TD>Baby: Feed &amp; burp her. </TD></TR><TR><TD>5:30pm</TD><TD>Play &amp; sing song with her </TD></TR><TR><TD>7pm</TD><TD>Dinner, wash the plates &amp; wipe the dining tables. </TD></TR><TR><TD>8pm </TD><TD>Wipe, change diaper, feed (on demand) &amp; burp Baby. </TD></TR><TR><TD>9pm</TD><TD>Throw the rubbish outside the rubbish chute. Take a bath &amp; rest well. </TD></TR><TR><TD></td></tr></table>

 

[amama]

Hi Happy

I would suggest you change your maid immediately. Personally, I would not tolerate such replies from maid, and banging of things around the house to display her unhappiness. If this can happen it only reflects on the maturity of the maid and her priorities in working here. This is something that i believed that the agents can do little to help in changing one's mindset or maturity level. Do not keep a maid out of convenience, if she cannot perform her duties or show blatant disrespect to you.
For those who treat the maid well, I am sure there are alot of other maids out there who would like to work for kind employers (look for a good reliable agent) , on the other hand if you do not draw the boundaries and set your houserules from the start, the maid will take advantage over time unknowingly.

Not all transfered maids are transfered due to attitude problems.
I have come across some who are transfered because of finances, or the mdm decided to quit her job and to stay home, or the employer is repatriating to other countries.

If the maid is hired to take care of babies, you will need to hire an experienced maid.

Hi All

I will send the spreadsheet to you, my apologies for the delay as I didn;t look up this thread for some time.

 

[amama]

Hi

I have just sent the file to you, please check and let me know if you did not received it.

Hi Happy, Giggler,

For me, I am hiring a maid to do baby sitting as the main priority, cooking and housework are secondary though i would expect at least average. If cooking is bad, it can be workarounded using tingkat or ordering in. Housework wise, the schedule is workaround what a person looking after a baby full time should be able to handle, that is, it's tailored to expectations of what is required if a maid's priority is to take care of baby and quality work is expected from the maid in this aspect. for housework, I can only rate my maid 5/10, for cooking maybe 6/10, for caring of a infant and toddler, 8/10.
Even though my maid mops the floor almost everyday and keep the house tidy, I rate her 5/10 because I often see her dropping food on the floor and ants coming around, and the rubbish are not thrown everyday which makes my bin really stink but she does wash the bins though . These are small matters, and just need to remind her now and then. most importantly, my gal is well taken care of, not just feeding, safety, making of milk, sleep , but she spent quality time teaching her ABCs and teaching her new things and manners (the Ps and Qs) . Whenever I bring my maid and my gal to sunday school or anytime that I need to bring my gal out, my maid will automatically knows what needs to be packed into the bed, taking in account snacks to bring along, the number of diaper changes needed (she will let me know if my gal hasn't poo for the day yet) and the amount of milk needed etc.

 

[tamarind]

cat_tail,
Wow your cats so good life ! Got maid to take care of them hehehe BTW what is cat tree ?

 

[orchid]

hi happy, how did you hire the maid on your own? i think you should get another one. the maid is supposed to help you and not give you more stress with her attitude.

my mom's maid is also a transfer maid. she's quite ok. the maid was the one who requested to transfer. her last employer made her clean 3 houses without extra pay. she even had to pay the agent transfer fees. now all her pay goes to pay the agent. every month get $10 only.

 

[ah_cat]

Ya lor Tamarind,
My cats got better life than me, even poo also got maid to clean.

Cat tree is a kind of playground with scratching poles &amp; platform. With these, my furniture will be spared from their claws.

 

[tamarind]

Hi cat_tail,
Wow your cat got their own playground some more. My hubby used to have a cat called Toffee which is really big fat and cute. But Toffee is no longer with us, really missed him.

 

[ah_cat]

Oh no, my less than 2 weeks maid wants to go back to her country cos she misses her family! No wonder from day 1 she hardly smiles &amp; cries very often. Already counsel her but she still wants to go. Anyone has this experience?

 

[tamarind]

Hi cat_tail,
I think you have no choice but to send her back. She already has no heart to work for you, if you keep her longer she will have attitude problem. Has she finish repaying her loan already ? If not I don't think the agency will send her back home, they will probably transfer her to another family. Check with the agency what happens when you return the maid to them, they may require you to pay levy for her (even when she is not working for you), or even pay for her food/lodging while waiting to be transferred.

You should start looking for a maid now, and tell your current maid nicely that you will send her back as soon as you find another maid.

 

[amama]

Hi Cat tail,

Is she a new maid from her country i.e. not transfered maid ? It's quite common that they get homesick from what I knew and if she wants to go back, send her back to your agent.

 

[kckc]

Hi Cat tail,
A lot of new maid got homesick and wanted to escape back to their home country. I think you can try asking your agent to talk to her. Normally those agent got their way to handle maid...
If she still got loan, normally the agent will not allow them to go back.

 

[ah_cat]

Hi tamarind, Lenny &amp; KC,
This whole day events really make me sweat for my maid issue. So dramatic! She's not new &amp; she had been working in Sg since 1996-1997, went back to Phillipine &amp; then come back again now cos she needed the money for her 2 children. That's how the things goes:

In the morning, she starts to get groomy again. She asked my permission to call her sister who married a S'porean. Then after her call, she cried that she wants to go back to Phillipine cos she's homesick &amp; ask me to arrange the agent to bring her back! I counsel her that you have to pay whatever money u own to the agent, so do you have it? She din answer me back directly. I let her consider, ask her again after lunch &amp; her reply is still the same. To my astonishment, she even packed her bag &amp; was ready to go! I have no choice but to call the agent to pick her up.

Later on, her sister calls up &amp; counsel her (I think the agent call her sis to talk her thru). After a good long chat, she seems much calmer. Her sis then have a conversation with me on their contents &amp; pleaded me to keep her. She's not going to pay watever she owns so if she insists of going back to the agent, they will probably scold her &amp; transfer her out to another household where she may not be as lucky as what she is now. I laugh &amp; said, do you want to give such a lucky opportuniity to another maid?

Then I chatted with my maid that it's easy for me to change a maid but it's not easy for her. She has to face the scolding from agent, her family and worst of all, might even ended up in a lousy family &amp; slog like hell. Oh well, after all the hoo hoo ha ha.. she finally sorted out her thinkings (I hope so) &amp; decided to stay put. I do like her working attitude but she's a little emotional. Anyway, I am giving her another last chance to perform, so if she still like tat, then I have to change her.

 

[ah_cat]

Haiz.. now then I know getting a maid is really not easy. Not only got to take care of 1 baby, I have another to take care.

 

[janet_lee88]

Hi cat_tail, having a maid is really not easy on top of the additional expenses. In the beginning, my maid was a little emotional but I had a talk with her to find out the cause.

Overall, she's ok - learns fast, willing to listen and ok with the kids. That's why I didn't want to change for fear of a new maid giving me hell. For all the times she drives me nuts, I try to keep cool and think of the other times when she has helped me. Anyway, she has been with us for exactly 1 year today. Having a reliable maid is really luck and give-and-take.