Abortion

hi mummies out there..

i'm in a dilemma now.. to keep or to abort..

this is my 2nd kid.. financially i dunno if we can manage as my hubby's job is not stable at all.. he has just got into a job a couple months back . as for mine, i do not know also.. as there is some retrenchment going on..

during my 1st kid, my hubby earns very little.. that he only has $ for himself.. so a long time, I have been the only person supporting all the expenses.. and then things got worse when he lost his job and i have to support his expense as well..

we dun have car and i take public tpt to bring my kid to/fro my mum place .. it's very very tiring.. cos it's not a short journey..

after work i have to do the housework etc.. i feel very lonely cos my hubby works afternoon shift so he ends pretty late at night.. so all the household chores i handle myself.. emotionally i feel no support from him.. but it could be because he is just too stressed at work.. we hardly talk, we hardly see each other..

if i were to keep this child.. i dunno how to handle it alone.. i'm so tired.. emotionally, mentally and physically..
 


hi.. not possible for my mum cos she needs to help my other siblings to bring their kids to/fro the CC near her place as well.. so asking her to stay @ my place is not an option..
 
jarye - maybe leave ur child with your mum's place during wkdays and bring home your child over wkend? maybe you wanna discuss with ur family throughly before making a decision?
A child is a gift after all ...
 
ayu.. my mum's getting on age.. i worry she won't have enough sleep if she takes care of my 1st during the night.. and my kid is hyperactive.. so it's very draining..

i also dunno wat to do.. cos i really feel no support from my hubby.. when he goes to work during the weekends, he can't even be bothered to say bye to me.. all he cares abt is our 1st kid.. he will smile, play with him before he goes work but once he sees me he will become stone..

emotionally i feel very "ditched" . I feel I am worse than a maid in the house. taking care of the housework , baby, and also to bring in $ to raise the kid.

when i told him abt how i feel, he just say he is just stressed and tired... yet he can spend few hours after work, relaxing, watching videos, play games.. but me? i come home still have to do housework and take care of baby.. so MEN want free time but how abt us women?

ask him to do housework, he say ok but never did.. say too tired.. will do it next week..

now i can still take it to do the things myself.. when he started his new work, everything starts to change slightly better.. at least our arguments and fights has reduced..

but now i am preggy with 2nd, i can feel my frustration building up.. i flare up more often when i see hubby not helping out.. both of us are stressed out whether to keep or not to keep. morally we knew it's wrong to abort but if in terms of the real situation we are now in, it's really a disaster.

sometimes i wonder will it be better to raise 1 kid in a much happier family or having 2 kids in a disaster family?
 
jaryfe - hmz that sounds v tricky/complicated esp with the lack of support from ur hubby .. but regardless you may wanna really discuss all options with your parents , ur parents in law together with ur hubby before making the decison bah .. but dun rush into decison for this ..
my temper have been quite bad since i gt preggy as well haiz .. i can understand some of ur fustrations ...
 
hi Jaryfe, sounds like the main issue bugging you is your husband's attitude. I feel that if finances permit, you may want to consider other options, like childcare for your #1, leaving your #2 with your mom? Rope in your PILs? I agree with Ayukie, should discuss with both sets of parents. abortion is no small matter.
 
Hi,

I just had abortion done in early Oct, cos my baby has no skull during my detailed scan at 11 week. I really have no choice but to terminate my pregnancy. This is consider my 2nd Miscarriage, 1st was 2 years ago when baby has no heartbeat at 12 week. I feel more heartpain this round cos the baby is still alive and I have to do the procedure to a living baby.

Do consider to keep the baby if they are healthy. Don't abort the baby cos of Financial problems, nobody can help to take care, unprotected sex. Please use protection when ever possible. People like me have no choice. Want baby so much, it seems like so difficult.
 
Hello ladies.. It's me again.
Today i am back to this forum not to look for advice on abortion but to look for info as a mummy!
Even though this baby is also unplanned, even though I am easily tired and have morning sickness, I am happy to be a mum again.
I am still with the same man who is now my husband of 2 years and I am glad he has been there for me all the time.
I still miss the baby I once lost but I pray that it will go to heaven and forgive me.
I hope everyone will give their baby a chance to live. It is really amazing to become a mum!
 
Hi,
I believe that abortion is killing an unborn child. I hope you will give your child a chance to live despite of your financial difficulties. Seeing your child live is one of the pleasures you can experience as a mother.
 
Hi,
I believe that abortion is killing an unborn child. I hope you will give your child a chance to live despite of your financial difficulties. Seeing your child live is one of the pleasures you can experience as a mother.
 
Hi ladies,

I saw the post and decide to express my view too. I was pregnant before marriage and was very lost when I found out about it. I did thought of abortion but postpone the appointment again and again. I was not ready at that time, after which I decide to consult my mum and told her the truth. She accepted the fact and asked me to give birth, assuring me that she will help me take care of this child. Throughout the pregnancy, my ex bf ignore me and did not bother about me. He even encouraged me to go for the abortion. Well, life still continues and I know this decision will affect my future. But nevertherless, I go ahead with the pregnancy and give birth to my son. He is now coming 4 years old this year and i am only 26 this year. Life had being very tough from the beginning, i suffered from post natal depression, did committ suicide few times cause i was still not ready to accept the fact that i had become a mother. The responsibility of a child is on my hand. I had to work very hard and not like before. Now life is better and i never regretted having my son. He really bring me a lot of joy more than suffering. Today i was helping my mum with household and he came to me with a tissue to wipe my sweat. When he is sick, he just quietly rest on his own and never give me problems. I know life will be difficult for me as single mother but as long as you preserve, everything is possible and can be done!
 
This thread has been quite for a long while. I hope it's a good sign.

Would still like to add some encouragements here in case anyone needs some:

1. Abortion should nvr be an option, unless for medical reasons.

No matter how poor you are, or how unprepared you are, young, single mother.... Pls carry the baby to full term. Give him/her a chance to live. Give birth to the baby and then decide whether to keep the baby or bless another couple who have been praying for one.

I believe that despite the financial strain that many of us are experiencing in spore now, there is no way we or our children will go hungry, as long as we are willing to work.

my mother was almost a single mother as my father is an irresponsible man. She singlehandedly, working in 3 different jobs within a week, 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, just so she could put clothes on our bodies, food in our stomach and a roof over our head.

Don't even entertain the thought of an abortion.

2. For medical reasons.

Unless it's totally necessary, otherwise, pls let the pregnancy run it's course. If you fear the child might be down syndrome, or hv congenital conditions, see it as a test from God. "Flawed" as the child may be, it's still a life.
 
Anyone aborted baby due to gender? my fren is disappointed with her baby's gender. She has a girl and is expecting another girl. She got depressed and wanted to abort the baby...I dunno how to console her...anyone here have the same experience?
 
Sorry if I sound offensive. But u shd tell ur friend this, since she is a woman herself, what if her mother had aborted her just because she is a daughter? We are living in modern times. Aborting your child due to gender is to me the worst reason one can ever give.
 
And what if she is only fated to have daughters and not sons? So is she going to abort her 3rd,4th,5th until she gets a boy? That's ridiculous.
 
Be Blessed to have a healthy child,
never-mind the gender.

Many years later, when the girl marries a boy,
she will have a son-in-law.

Leng Leng
happy.gif
 
Happy Ocean,

Really you should tell your friend to respect female-hood. Girls will also carry the genes of the paternal family and if she maries and have kids in future, the grandchild will also carry the genes. There's nothing wrong with having daughters because we all came from our mother's womb. Hope your friend is feeling better and able to rationalise?
 
Sorry to post here while u guys have discussion. I need a little help. Do get to me for adoption of baby. As I'm trying to adopt one with reasonable amount which dont exceed 9,000.

Due to not able to give birth anymore(knew the news last month due to 2 times miscarriage in a year), i decided to go for adoption. The news really hurts me lOts coz I'm just 24 and have not even a kid yet. And the news do hurt my mum a lot too . She went a little bit far more than depressed and always thinking that baby is still in me whenever she thinks of it. Consult doctor but was saying medication can't cure only control as she needs to work out herself. So despite I'm very sad and depressed I got to think of not only me but her too.and at this point of time, Husband left me too. So my dad and I came out with a solution, since I can't give birth, why not adopt those who are keen to put for adoption so that my mum can be better and I can have a better motivation of living my life better.  kindly do help out for this.  it will be good for going to give birth de or newborn as they still can't recognise if not its like so cruel for those who alrd know their parents. Kindly give a helping hand. Apps 83006803 thank
 
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