(2009/03) March 2009 MTBs

devil,
hmm, i m not sure if the handsfree strap gd or not.

i m thinking of getting 1 unless my ss is more.
currently its still 140-150 ml per pump.

u stying in bukit panjang?

just now, i did something funny.
bb latch on 1 breast and i pump the other one, haha.
 


hi mummies, want to ask your opinions, my boy is 3 weeks old but he is still drinking about 80ml every 2+ hrs, each day i have to feed 11 times. very very xian. and of course after that the crying. My CL keeps saying my bb prefers her to carry him and after a while, he really shuts up. Somtimes, he doesnt and she will feed him again even though its not time. Is this normal? the amount and the frequency? has been going on for the past 2 weeks. growth spurt for so long?

meanwhile, my ML came today and says its wind, his stomach v hard. I am thinking of using Ruyi oil, is it good? anyone tried it and works?
 
hoho, sorry, what brand of handsfree is that? my back is killing me, i am using the Medela pump is style but each time i pump i have to lean forward otherwise BM will leak! my back aches so bad! yours can allow you to lie back?? so good!
 
<font color="119911">A. Fireangel</font>,
thks for sharing the reflux link.my bb also like tat.

<font color="119911">Asura79</font>,
wow, u brave leh tasting bm. the smell already put me off.

<font color="119911">hoho03</font>,
bm sure got some fishy smell one cos most mummies will sure eat lot of fish to improve bm.

<font color="119911">Wish a boy</font>,
same same. my boy coming to 3mth(actual age coming to full mth) also dun wan to slp. really tired me

out....but when carry him or plc him on his rocker, he sure slp.

<font color="119911">blubell</font>,
yr hubby very patient wor..pat n sung for 20mins. unlike my hubby....

<font color="119911">tuskywoollie</font>,
yup, bb taste bud not develop yet.

<font color="119911">moomooland</font>,
same qns when will i get 200ml of bm too? the most i can get is 180ml when i pumped out 5hr. it took me

50mins to stimulate various let down reflex to get this amt. moreover, i can get this amt us bec i ate

salamon fish.

<font color="119911">prosper</font>,
gd bm supply u got. unlike me, now my bb is coming to 3mth in 2 wk but supply still the same- pump 110-

130 every 4hrly.tough, i ate lot of fish, drink lot of water etc...but think i dun have proper rest.sp

bm not much.

<font color="119911">fairymoss</font>,
tot during cl, cannot drink water.water will cause retention.

<font color="119911">valentine</font>,
yr boy 's drinking is gd liao loh - 80ml every 2hrly. my boy is a preterm bb and in 2 wks term, he will be 3mth (actual age is full mth) and still drinking 80ml for 2hrly. he cannot take too much milk at one go if not er ni or merlion thru nose or mouth. last 2mth, we fed him 30ml hrly...more tiring man.....

my mum also like yr mil, bb cry have not reach 2hr saying bb hungry. then I told her, it might be other issue - nappy wet, want carry etc...if not, give him a little bit of ebm (dun waste).

yup, ru yi oil is gd, rub on palm and apply on bb's tummy.
 
mummies
anyone went to do ur hair?rebonding/perm?
plan to do it soon...but is it safe to do it if we BF?
any recommeandation which salon is good to do haircut n rebonding..is jean yip good? they have promotion now..but never go there before..
 
valentine, my mil same as your mil, always scared that the bb not enough milk. whenever she cries, my mil sure say she's hungry. sometimes make me feel as if i m a bad mummy cos i dun give milk to my gal. initially the situation was worse cos i was TBF and cannot gauge how much bb was drinking, now is better as i feed her EBM, but not more than 3 times a day, only night time i latch her on.

i m one of the mummies who bf bb using sleepin position. good thing is bb will be less cranky at night cos she normally drink till sleep. sometimes i let her sleep wif me, so at night when she wakes up, at least she can feel me beside her and will feel more secured, thus can sleep longer hours.
 
prosper
why did u stop latching and only do pumping?
i want to do the same but my mom said pumping makes BM dry easily, must latch if want to keep MS. is that true?
 
serene,
thanks for the link, will check it out...hope can ease my backache...and pump in my sleep!

keron&amp;jerie,
yeah, i also agree but every old fogie in the family will tell me cry means hungry, go feed even when its just 30 mins ago! i tried to just rock him with everyone standing around me to ask me to go feed, v stressed. but when after 15 mins, they hand me the EBM bottle, he really drinks but cannot finish much...waste my EBM...not like i have alot! i cant latch on and my ss is dwindling through pumping...sigh.

afcai, 30ml every hour! then you have to feed like 20 times a day? no sleep at all? wah, my full respect...to think i wanna cry already after 11-12 feeds...mei you yong...now how many feeds a day do you do? better now?

i tried Ruyi oil earlier after his bath, he seems better, v alert for 1 hr, then after still cry...
 
miss83,
i dun like being latch on as i feel my nipple very sore. ans also dunno how much she is drinking then got to feed her if she is drinking not enough. very troublesome i find. pump out also sian but i find it easier at least i know she wont be crying for milk one hr later.

ur mil said is not true. i stopped latching since week 2. until now week 6, my supply got increase and increase.
 
miss83
saw my post earlier? I already did my rebonding, highlighting and hair treatment and continue to give BM. I have checked with TMC's Parentcraft, they say no problem. But do remind your stylist not to touch your scalp
 
srumpee
ya just read ur post
thanks
happy.gif

anyway, where did u do ur rebonding?
 
prosper, i same feeling as you. Prefer pumping to latching. Latching takes a long time and then i still need to pump after that cos breast still heavy. And then shortly, he is hungry again..i feel bad about this, like m not a good mummy cos think most prefer latching.
Keron, any tips for latching in sleeping position? I tried but somehow don feel very comfy leh
 
just quarrelled with my hubby. Sometimes I think he is such a f*cker. Pardon my foul mood. Just now snapped at me big time because for the 1000000000th time he asked me where in the diaper bag is this and that, and I replied by saying the things are always in the same pockets/compartments, never moved from day 1. He snapped and raised his voice, tell me to stop being so naggy over this little thing.

I have to be organised in order to take care of my bb alone, and my hubby doesn't come home early, nor does he help much. So my diaper bag is always in a grab and go mode. Everything has its place. Like the changing mat, it is always velcro-ed to the front panel ... a key feature of the bag which I have tellin him about since before we bought it. and EVERY SINGLE F*CKING time he is tasked to do something he ask the same f*cking questions ... where is the changing mat ... the diapers ... the camera ... the xyz. All those things that we use very frequently. Worse, when I am not around he rummage through the things and then any-o-how put the things back. All the stuff are just dumped back in, such that it becomes very difficult to locate things. A real bitch of a problem for me when I am alone, needing things fast and negotiating with a single hand ... only to find that wtf, where is everything? Just one big ball of mess.

So just now instead of telling him AGAIN, I said, it's always in the same pocket. How many times do I have to remind you and he had the audacity to lose his temper.

Bitched that I am naggy, so naggy, so irritating.

I eally feel like slapping him. On Sun night after coming home late night I was running around the house like a headless chicken - preparing tomorrow;s laundry (cos no time to seperate colours on Mon daytime, busy w bb), taking down clean clothes, sorting and folding them. Re-filling the cold water bottle for him and the airpot. Saw that we have no more teats for feeding so need to sterilise stuff, ask him to help he just nodded his head. I said he has to do it soon cos bb needs feeding soon and needs a teat. I continued running around .. setting up my work station for next day, etc etc etc

Come back ... still not sterilised. He was just drinking his wine in front of the telly. Gave up, so decided to sterilise it myself instead of finally taking a bath. Half way through bb woke up crying for feed. aiiiiiiiiii Then I had to run in to let her suckle cos it takes quite long to sterilise. When finally the bottle is ready, told him to feed cos I really need to shower and pump milk liao. BB was very cranky cos she waited for so long (I took quite a while to go into the room cos I was bz sterilising) so she drank a bit by a bit and kept crying. I was bathing and kept hearing him scold her. He raised his voice at her and scolded her for being irritating.

Really wanted to slap him. But I endured cos I thought he had to work the next day. So I hurried my shower and told him to go sleep, I would take over.

then today this lousy episode.

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

sorry for the long post ... I'm always very long winded, paiseh.
 
I don't understand him.

Just last week when bb was merely 6 weeks old he was out0stationed for 3 days. First time he left his newborn behind, and wife is all alone to take care of bb somemore, and he didn't even feel the need to call back. He only called once on the first day (called at night) then no sound no news already. Don;t seem to miss his newborn (6 weeks only leh), nor was he concerned about whether his wife is coping. Whether I managed to have dinner ... whether I have food to eat or not. Nothing. Not even a lousy sms.

He finally did after I sent him a long sms at 11pm the 2nd night. Said busy. Come on lah, it's not as if I never work before lor.

I really am not feeling the love between us right now. I find him very selfish right now in fact.

aiiiiiiii
 
Wind in stomach ... I applied Ru Yi oil and feed ugin with gerber gripe water. He was crying very badly say sometime ago was in lost wits when everything been done... It was heart breaking. But after applying and feeding... It has been quite good. Gave him twice a day before feed and bathe.

Alfafa
I understand how u feel about taking care of baby alone. My hubby joe is in UK now. Left since ugin full month..3wks ago..It's scary and tough taking care of baby alone. ESP all we wan is a sense of appreciation from your other half. Men believes that women are responsible to bear and provide care to babies where they provide the bread. Maybe you can talk to him and let him know you want him to play his part... As an active other. I speak to joe during my pregnancy that he can't be ignorant about baby care. Coz he travels alot and I am all alone. He has to help me out....... So don't get angry with your hubby... Perhaps he is another men who takes longer to realize and sink in that he is a dad now and lives changed.
 
i think so too ... that he still hasn't come to terms that it isn't just about him anymore. he is a dad now.

it's hard not to get angry, esp when i'm trying so hard not to trouble him since he is so bad at managing work stress. thought the last he needs is more at home. but instead of appreciating, he neglects us and take this goodwill for granted. like he is doing us a favours.

he does things like cook soup in slow cooker for me and all which initially i thought was really thoughtful of him ... but no ... he is not thoughtful at all. i realised now that he has bhis own romantic ideas of making himself feel good for helping, when all he is doing is for the sake of making himself feel better. he is not genuinely interested in helping or supporting me. the things i asked him to help with he doesn't do.

he's not taking ownership for the family yet. funny how people can strive so hard at work n yet when it comes to their love ones at home ... they couldn't give two hoots.

thanks Daphne.

i've always marvelled at both you n asura. how you ladies could handle pregnancy alone, and now taking care of bb alone as well. At least i get to see my hubby at night, as well as some back up from him during the weekends. you don't even have that luxury. Really don't know how you manage it. kudos indeed
 
Sleep pattern
I am trying this method now.... Been working so far for the last few days to a week or more???? By 5ish, will wash ugin up, ru to oil, gripe water and milk, carry him with lullaby turn on, curtains closed, dim light...... By latest 8pm he will sleep... 3-4 hrs later will wake up for his feed and head to bed. He will sleep till 8-9am.......in the day he doesn't sleep very long and much. Just bought a Yao LAN will be delivering it tomolo... Hope it works for him...so can rest in the afternoon or at least dun have to carry him throughout his nap.
 
Alfafa....
Yes it's tough and many a times I do get lonely and sometimes upset esp when you want to look for someone to talk to yet non avail..... But the thought of having a baby at that time and this thread as well online shopping, dvd canto series and his calls does make me the whole process easier. Most of all... I guess is to get myself mentally prepare to accept the fact that joe works abroad. It's tough like u have said being hard outside... So I have to be more understanding. But when joe comes back he does spent lots time with me. I had a similiar problem with joe when ugin was bourne. Joe can't handle stress and mentally not ready for the changes... So I did kinda cried and sad during my confinement... But eventually we spoke and cleared the air.
 
Alfafa .... Give him sometime... Eventually he'll come to term and be the hubby you expected esp with the love and care to both baby and you. Sometimes they behave badly can bcos you have not shown them attention enough... It's funny yet frustrating to know... They want equal attention from you and baby... Let's say it's jeolousy mechanism working hahaha...
 
pardon my intrusion into your privacy, but is it not possible for you to join him as a trailing spouse? I mean, he is as good as being outstationed in UK. Not wise for a couple to spend so much time apart.
sad.gif


Feel so bad for you
 
a sec sch friend of mine was sorta in a similar situation - she was stuck in singapore as she had to serve an 8yr bond w MAS while hubby was posted to US. So throughout their married life they spent alot of time apart. She spent most of her time w her family, esp after she gave birth.

unfortunately she slipped into a postnatal depression which created alot of tension betw husband n wife. her hubby was already feeling v guilty for leaving the young family behind, yet everytime he called back, he got angry words instead. guess alot more things must have happened .. in the end they went for a divorce n she became a singe mom. last we met she managed to ask for a transfer to US, told me it would be her last ditch effort to salvage her marriage. so sad.

really hope you two can be reunited soon.
 
you are very wise. thanks for your advice.
guess i need to be more patient
we are a family afterall so like it or not, unfair or not, we just have to work it out.

happy.gif
 
It's true that being a family should stick together... We have talked about it... Usually joe works on the UK the most 2 mths 3 times a yr....It's a dead town not a good plc for baby and me... I prefer Asia afterall. Moreso I dun wan to disturb him whilst he at work. Then when he's done a UK he returns to Bangkok at least I can fly over easier...
Dun feel bad for me. At least I have my family here rather them to a plc whereby I mainly get stuck at home.
 
I have come to a point where I love myself more not to get affected by his distance and make the best out of our relationship when he's back in sin.
 
I have come to a point where I love myself more not to get affected by his distance and make the best out of our relationship when he's back in sin.
 
Hearing you say all that made me feel embarrassed for fighting with my hubby. I should feel thankful that hubby is seldom away afterall.

*hugs*
now you have bb Ugin to love you too
happy.gif


I'm going to try and get some sleep now. You too, try and rest yah.
 
Alfafa,

Indeed pregnancy and having the bb alone is really tough. There were times when i broke down into tears cos hb was not ard for me to talk to or he was busy playing games with his friends at the outstation instead of calling me to chat.
Think my toughest, as well as everyone else's toughest, is probably breastfeeding. BF is really upsetting, in the beginning got to handle the fact the bb cant latch on and when bb latch on, she doesnt latch well and hurts damn a lot. Instead of offering me some consolation when i called him crying one day, he gave me lots of solution and even ask me to give up BF! SO fedup with him that i told him off that i called him to get some comfort words and not solution. Thnk after that when i call him crying again, he knows what to do liao.

I think man are wired in a different way. They either think too lightly of things or that all they can provide is solutions. My hb also same as urs. Sometimes i ask him to do something, he just refuses to do it immediately, need to nag and nag and nag.. and then he not happy that i nag. Funny right, if they do it as soon as we request, we wouldnt even need to nag. Heh.. Try to speak to ur hb calmly about what u felt when he was outstation cos it may not be his last one and i am sure u dont want to feel the same for each outstation trip. Let him know that his calls and sms, no matter how short, are essential for u to feel better. Cannot just rant here ok? This thread is good for us to pour our woes and get some emotional support but ultimately the root of the problem need to be addressed.
 
Daphne,

Wah.. i tot i was early is getting bb to bed at abt 7+. urs is 5+! Anyway, i not sure if yaolan is good... if bb sleep too much in the day, they get cranky at nite. Like mine now.. today she slept most of the day away and i find that it is more difficult getting her to sleep tonite. Hope that she would not wake up too early tomorrow.
 
Hi alfafa,

Jus wan to share my humble view of how our hbs work...i can fully understand ur stress levels when u need to handle all things by urself even if u hav deliberately asked him for help.

Women r made to multi task...we r like spaghetti...like to interweave many things @ e same time. H'r if one thing turns out poorly, our mood is spoilt and spilled over to other stuff @ same time.

Men like to deal with an issue one @ a time. They r wired to do well in 1 thing @ a time...they oso don wan 2 appear incompetent in front of their loved ones...either they 'freeze'--> not help @ all or help w some disgruntling noises coming frm their mouth...They r like waffles...they thrive in being able to isolate one task to one compartment n use e fastest / most efficient way to complete e task. They take pride in being great n fast..

I guess most ladies r a bit like u...if asking for help no response, we help ourselves...sad but look @ e other side of e coin...Man dislikes nagging jus as woman dislikes receiving solutions...indeed we r very different. When guys give solutions, itz their way of saying 'I care'. My hb says guys r very simple n objective creatures. To persuade them into action, give them facts objectively...don get personal.

For me, im e opposite...i try my best to do things myself unless bo bian...i guess ur hb is feeling e dds slower than u n still sticks to his routine. My hb initially is still on his online games n regular hangouts w his friends as i do my confinement w e help of my mom. H'r i hint to him tat things will change once i complete my confinement n rejoin him...Indeed, they take a longer while to set in...

Sometimes, it depends whether e bb has an affinity w ur hb...while he needs to show support as ur partner n dad, we oso need to noe wat goes thru his head...He may choose to offer his help in areas where hez competent...

Last but not least, give him lotsa of encouragement n tlc even when u feel he does not seem to care...Not true...we jus need to b specific n assign them 1 or 2 tasks @ a time. When they feel competent, give them much praises...

Oso let them have choices...they will b more willing to help if they are asked to, not demanded to help.
 
Alfafa and Asura,
What you mentioned were what hubby and myself talked about in our courting and early marriage days (we wedded a good 7 years ago!), as well as what I read in the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus book.
Women just wants to talk to rant and vent without a need for solution to be offered. Men wants solution and don't see the point of crying and talking about things without coming up with solutions. Since this is their belief, this is what they offer.
And one thing I learnt also is, men are "own time, own target" creatures. When I want hubby to perform certain tasks (like mopping, folding clothes, etc), I just tell him. But don't bother to aspect him to do them immediately like how we may perform the tasks ourselves. They will decide when they want to do it.

So, my mantra in the marriage is don't set expectations of each other. Anything positive that happens is a bonus. Ha!
 
asura, tuskywoollie,

so many things have changed since becoming a mother. in the past my husban used to complain that we had our roles reversed; i was the main breadwinner, more interested in career than home, and was busy n travelling a fair bit. then when he shared with me his work stress, i focused on giving him solutions rather just giving him a listening ear. he was also the one constantly nagging. one thing though, no matter how badly stressed i was i never bring work stress home, but he is the opposite. always black faced at home due to work. think men generally cannot handle stress as well as women.

Now that i'm a stay home mom, guess we are back to normal. but now he complain i'm naggy n irritating.
sad.gif


yah you are right ... after ranting we still need to solve the root of the problem. actually talked nicely to him before already, but he just doesn't seem to get it. frankly v tired liao. think i might just have to wait for the day when he would suddenly wake up n realised that he is a dad n the head of a household now.

Asura,
sorry i seldom follow the threads, these days esp. tend to torpedo in and out in a flash. is bf-ing easier now for you? usually our nipples will toughen eventually. also i supposed you are doing direct latch now thus the additional stress. you might wan to consider switching to mainly bottle feeding ebm to give your nipples a break. there shouldn't b nipple confusion after 3 weeks of latch on. as much as i hate pumping n sterilising, feeding times have become less unpleasant n much more fulfilling for both me n bb.

tuskywoollie,
your post made me smile. spaghetti vs waffles. hahaha

yah he yelled last nite ... just tell me again where it is lah, n i finally lost it n yelled back at him, so how many times is enough? is it so hard to put in some effort to rem? i am already stretched so thin n he cannot even put in that little effort to rem where to get the diapers n change mat. wah liao eh

re: tlc n encouragement, n doing things independently. i thought i did, but i think i did so much that it backfired on me. he seems to think that he can get away w doing pretty much nothing much. when i ask him to help w one night feed over the weekend he almost always end up upset or grumpy for the rest of the day. worse than a cranky bb.

My hubby v funny one. When talk to him, he will sound very sympathetic and all, he will sayang me etc ... but when it's time to action, he becomes anothjer man. Always black face when he helps. sian.

Re: giving him choices ... that's a good idea. E.g. either help with one night feed in the weekends or take over the morning feeds. let him choose.

don't feel like talking to him yet. This is the first time that I am letting our quarrel last overnight. Usually I make it a point that no matter who started it, I'll would make the effort to try to break the ice and "patch back" before we go to bed. But this time .. I really don't wish to. Very tired.

ok mommies moo moo shift over for now. will try to nap. cheers

I'm ok already lah, will have ot work it through somehow. Thanks for all your concerns *big big group hug* :)
 
alfafa, sayang. Hope you are feeling much better. It is definitely not easy being a mother and conflicts seems to arise easily with our husband now. There have been a couple of times where i argued with my husband because I guess we were both tired and temper seems to be short. The tension of handling baby can be overwhelming at times. I think we just have to take things one step at a time and learn to handle our new role as a mother.

Was quite happy that baby managed to sleep through the nite yesterday. Put her to bed at 11 plus and she woke up this morning at 6 plus. I hope she will be able to continue with this routine.
 
alfafa:: Hugs. Hugs. Hope you're feeling better this morning!
happy.gif


Daphne:: You are definitely a brave mommy. How much time does ugin sleep in the day? In total? I am still having difficulty with Trishelle. Gosh. She still doesn't sleep at night.

sportyger:: CONGRATS!! i hope your little one keeps up with the good routine!! Fingers crossed. I'm still waiting for mine to snap out of the BEING AWAKE at night routine. I'm like a zombie all the time, day time accompany #1, night time accompany #2.
 
alfafa ...

dun be too angry and upset cos think if not all but most of us face the same pattern as your hubby ... not sure if you gals watch this channel 8 programme on tues night at 8pm - Pa Pa Dang Jia

where the daddy and mummy exchange role for a day ie the daddy stay at home to do all the household chores and take care of kids while mummy go out and enjoy herself

think so far only darren lim could manage the kids + household chores well and you would realise that the rest of the daddy are the typical daddy - playmate only. they dun even know where are some of the stuff kept or how to use the washing machine etc

mine is cfm a playmate for the kids only ... cos my son is only afraid of me holding the cane ... when my hubby hold the cane ... he dun care a hoot

i rem during my confinement for my #1 ... i usually ask my hubby to wake up to change the diaper (cos i dun wan to keep washing my hand during confinement) after i find the feed (latch on) but one fine night he commented - why you make me wake up when you can change the diaper yourself ... i was so mad that from then on i never wake him up again! but when i think back ... i think i kanna tricked lor hahahaha should still wake him up man!! instead of letting him have the easy way of me doing it =p

for ladies its easier for us to make the necessary changes to adapt to the child cos we have been carrying the child for 40 weeks while for the man it really takes a while ... even my hubby a father of 2 ... still feels v 'sad' when he cant hang out with his frens as often as he wants
 
Seabreeze, really peifu you all who have 2 kids. Its already so tiring to take care of 1, wonder how you all can handle 2 at the same time.
 
sportyger ...

i tend not to think abt it cos when i think too much it really does seem pretty overwhelming and i can get pretty emotional esp i do feel guilty to my #1 at times hahahahaha

take 1 day at a time

oh for mummies who are TBF and feeding on demand - if you are thinking of giving up or feeling v tired from it ... i read a book and it says - Dun look at the clock and dun count the number of feed - just take 1 feed at a time
 
mummies,
can some1 advise, after we warm the BM, how long can it be keep at room temp?

seabreeze,
u r correct.
When i m free or feel the breast is full, i will pump asap.
As long as i have more than enough in the fridge for the bb next few feeds, i m happy liao.

Handling 2 kids is not an easy task! phew!
 


Hoho, i asked my pd the other day and he said that for both fm and bm, after being warmed up, should not keep for > 1 hr.
 
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