(2008/02) Feb 2008 MTBs

handling maids hor, really quite challenging.

i reckon, different maids react to diff types of handling. similar to us lor. some chi1 ruan3 bu4 chi1 ying4, others need to be "threatened" into obedience. probably need to assess the maid's character and see which method works better.

not easy lah - it's like also dunno whether to treat them nicely or not (scared they take advantage) altho i have seen cases that work out v well cos the maid really appreciates the employer's gestures. but have also seen it turn the other way cos maid takes advantage.
 


Agree with Lezy - sometimes gotta be cruel to be kind (to ourselves). Sounds bad but yes, while I pity them, I also need to look out for own interest.

My friend's 10 yr Myanmar maid, treated like family, they found her drawer full of their mom's jewelry that the mom thought she lost or misplaced over the years.

Phone interviewed 2 maids yday. First one was ok but she's a bit short. (Dun think physical requirement dun make a difference but it does! As in more difficult to hang clothes, clean shelves etc - must buy longer pole blah blah). The second one was...to put it mildly, DUBIOUS. She quit her employer last Nov, the reason given was not clear, even after asking her on the phone, still not clear to us. When we ask whether she intends to work long in Spore, reply was: Depends if I like the work. Wahh, means she doesn't like us, she can "fry" us yah? Single mom of 2 - sounds like trouble to my hb - he said this kind can go find bf type, better avoid. And so, my search continues....
 
Tute,
$20-30 increment annually is quite fair. 1 month bonus is also fine but I recommend withholding until maid returns from home leave - otherwise, she take already dun come back and work for you!
 
I was thinking of giving my maid 1 more month as advance pay in April so that she can send back more $ to her mum for op (close to $800 incl her AP $) but who knows she'll be like that. I was thinking of $100 bonus after she fulfils 1 yr of contract too. :p
 
maybe we just need to be fair to the maids and treat them as we would discipline our kids

good perf / behaviour = enjoy some priviles
bad perf / behaviour = removal of privileges

and make it v clear from day one n enforce dilligently
 
Thanks XY. Think I may have a problem finding a place for the washing machine.

Hi Genice, think the Scense Washing Machine is retailing about $200 plus. The one at Kiddy palace I saw is of another brand. The one XY is using is the Scense one. I'll go take a better look at the Kiddy Palace one first.
 
pauline,
raeanne make pulls diaper at night, does she make noise?

i tried to let C just wearing pants after bathe last night, and she refused to wear diaper before sleep!
so got to wait till she's in deep sleep then i change her into diaper. luckily she didnt cry in the middle of the night.
happy.gif


i have now only extra Orajel ToddlerTraining Toothpaste, Fruit Splash - 1.5 oz. you want?
 
bkk,
Thanks. Cannot wait until she goes back because she told me she doesn't want to go back until next year but I better check again with her. scared she change her mind after i schedule all my leave plan :S
 
bkk,

My neighbours and colleagues got good helpers when they went thru for face-to-face interview transfer maids.

My neighbours' flippo maids speak much better English than mine.

One of my colleague from English speaking family told us that his wife couldn't stand any poor English speaking helper. His wife bears with the present one until now because she couldn't find better one.
 
Stories here sounds scaring..

We set no limit for almost everything, let her take any food herself, never touch her stuff. And we didn't hide our belongings. Hehe....tonight I need to put my valuables at proper storage.

Last time my hubby was against idea hiring a maid, saying that"we're easy-to-bully ones, how we are going to act if maid turns out bad?".

---

My colleague had a very good first-time helper, she chose from Nation's online website. And helper turns out to be very good. Recently my colleague resigned and went back to Malaysia as SAHM for her 3 kids, and transferred her maid to my another colleague.

Her helper missed my colleague's kids too much and are willing to take low pay(Malaysian standard) to work at their Malaysian home.

But my colleague told her " you're too young, don't know importance of $" and refused it.

For kids, if without helper, we can put them to nanny's, or childcare. But for old folks who have difficulties to take care of themselves?
 
Tubao
Your colleague is really fortunate. For old folks, one option is to put them in nursing homes. My granny is in a home. At first we got her a maid but every maid that came, she will scold and criticise them until they can't stand it. The only way is put her in nursing care where she can get medical attn and professional care.
 
xy, if u got extra orajel toothpaste do tell me too. Din manage to tag along ur previous order cause was quite bz that few days. Thanks!
 
xiaoyun/pauline,
if my boy keeps pulling on his diapers at night while he is asleep, is it a sign that he doesnt want to wear diapers anymore?

Lately, i notice he always stuffs his hand into his diapers, pull his penis upwards the top of the diaper and try to pull the diapers off. Should I start potty-training soon?
 
iso,
thanks for the info.
i compared the price and seems booksdepository is a little cheaper, right?


genice,
got extra Orajel ToddlerTraining Toothpaste, Fruit Splash - 1.5 oz.
put in your names liao.
happy.gif



fairfield,
i guess that's a sign that they start feeling uncomfortable about diaper.
grab this opportunity to toilet train.
will he signal you when he wants to poo/pee?

funnily, C volunteerily took out her diaper from drawer and wants to put it on. confuse me if she likes/hates diaper. :p
 
anyone's kid refused to have his/her teeth brushed.

brushing A's teeth is a struggle everyday. and her tongue gets the whitish layer very easy. and she refuses to let us clean it. she bites me and my mil until very very pain.
 
bx,
mil has been cleaning her mouth with face towel since young.
so she doesn't have big issue on this. furthermore, she loves to eat the first teeth toothpaste. :p
but she will bite our finger sometimes, then we screamed in pain. told her to sayang, after that she doesn't bite when we try to put the towel in again.
she does bite the toothbrush very hard frequently, guess she finds it fun.
 
Bx
K doesnt like to brush too. Dun fight with them. One way is to make a game out of brushing teeth. MIL brings out her own toothbrush and brushes along with K. They sing a song - "this is the way we brush our teeth" and gargle together. Must be patient.

Potty training
XY, Fairfield, Pauline, a clear sign whether they are ready is when they tell us that they want to go. The best way is to try cold turkey with them and see if they get the mesg. Go without diapers for 1 morning (when awake n playing) . If they carry on with their activities, that means they are not bothered but if they run to you and asked to be changed, then u can start teaching them to tell u when they want to go potty. Girls are more fastidious and they will object to wet underpants. 2-3 days of wetting themselves and they'll learn. A fren's son just carried on playing like nothing happened, so he wasnt ready.
 
bx - H also bites my fingers these days when i use the finger toothbrush to brush her teeth, but when i scold her, she still lets me brush, sometimes with a little struggle. But she dun like me poking the normal toothbrush into her mouth. But at least she knows how to gargle and rinse her mouth after brushing.
 
Xy, thanks!! then i dun need to order from spree.

Re: Brushing teeth
bx.. now then A starts to resist or all the while? Like what bkk says, have u tried brushing with her together? i think i seldom let her brush alone and i help her, we always brush together and sometimes she will help me brush and i will help her. Of coz she end up poking my moth everywhere but i think she treats it more like playing than brushing cause when she sees me take water from tap to gargle she also wnat to do it, so i just let her do it and grab the chance to brush her teeth. So far, cross fingers.. it has been ok and i think she is learning to gargle too but she cant spit out so sometimes after her brushing and then her milk feed , i will let her drink some water and tell her to gargle.. at least remove some milk stains. Maybe u can get A to do that too else really a lot of white stains if they dun brush.

My cousin who is 5 yrs old.. all the teeth decayed ( really black).. she is such a pretty ger but when she smiles, u will be taken aback.. cause she likes to eat sweets and dun like to brush teeth.

Gar.. i wanted to ask u.. so what is ur 2nd princess name? can share? Got pics??
 
bkkgal.. i have tried many times with G leh.. but she always gave me false alarms always tell me want to pee/ poo then i carry her to the toilet and wait with her for a while than she always never do business.. she can do that consecu every 10 mins.. super tiring for me then when she really peee/poo.. she only tell us when it happens.. she even poo on the floor before! Sigh.. i cannot take oit when i am with her alone cause i have to clean up the mess and its tiring to bend up and down for me cause my tummy.. dunni why is huge this time round!!! i am like 42'' at 6 mths...horrible
 
re: brushing
brushing teeth is not that bad. it is the cleaning tongue part which is very jia lat. i think A really has a prob with the white layer on her tongue.

all the while she already dun like brushing teeth. hard to tell mil to brush together with her. i will try this weekend to brush together with her. but timing quite difficult coz i always wash her mouth after her breakfast as she is still taking cereal and the cereal also coats her tongue.
 
bx.. she brush 2 x a day har.. :p mine only at night..

suppose to sedn G to CCC.. she is still in bed!! What time do u tots sleep and wake up?? She sleeps abt 11 plus to 12 after reading and she always sleep till 9 plus unless i have to go work then i will wake her up at 8 plus.. can share sleeping timings.. thanks
 
XY, yes, she pull and scratch and makes noise like fairfield's boy. So you still got extra toothpaste since Genice also wants 1?

bkkgal, thanks for sharing. Need to bring them to toilet every half an hour when we try letting her try diaperless? Maybe I try during March school hols when I have more support.
happy.gif


Genice, RaeAnne doesn't like to brush teeth too. I got to help or brush with her. But most days, I'm too busy BF no. 2 in the morning or still asleep after night duties with no. 2. When the maid does it, she doesn't want to brush. hiaz.
 
bx,
no harm brush teeth more than 2x a day for fun right?
brush together with her after dinner/during bath time.
happy.gif



genice,
before CCC, C sleeps at 930. after sending her to CCC, C sleeps before 9.
then she will normally wake up at 7+. if not, hb will wake her up.
it's important for them to have enough sleep before going to school. otherwise will be very cranky. especially they have got a lot of activities in school, i can see that she start showing tiredness before 8pm.


pauline,
yes. got extra - included 1 for you already. got to maximize the savings/shipping mah.
happy.gif
 
Pauline, when my mum started toilet trained S, she wears pant for him only and bring him to toilet every now and then. but the tough part is that my mum did really cane him once when he peed on the floor. (i think i would not have done that myself) From there on, he would pull down his pant and pee and poo on the floor liao. He rejected the potty though. prefer floor.

genice, s zz time went haywire since CNY. dunno which day of CNY he only zz at 1am. maybe too hyper and overstimulated with so many ppl at home. these few days he slept at around 11+. and i woke him up at 7+ cuz got to send him to nanny. seriously he zz less than lots of kids i think.
 
Brushing teeth
K also 2x a day - morning and night. Morning sometimes i brush with her, sometimes MIL, sometimes maid. i know with MIL is the cleanest. with maid, dunno got clean properly or not. When i brush with her, i play a spitting game (yar, i know not v civilised but how else to make it fun leh? hehe). She gargle and spit 1 time, then she make me gargle and spit. We take turns until no more water in the cup. keke.

Sleeping times
Genice, I have been trying to gradually make K go to bed earlier, 8.30 pm settle in room, drink milk, tell story 15 mins and then go to pee last time, put on pampers and sleep by 9. If she sleeps later, she can't wake up for cc. Only Fri, Sat I'm more lax, cos can sleep in.

Potty training
Pauline, if you/maid can bring her to potty every 1/2 hr would be good. Sometimes, miss target, it's ok - just tell her, "see pants wet not nice right? next time tell mama/aunty and we bring you." Or you leave a small plastic potty in toilet, she can bring it to you.
 
Very angry...

This has nothing to do with pregnancy but just feel like ranting. I really hate those pp that 'fly aeroplane' last min. We have already made appts to meet up so many times and she keep flying aeroplane either early in the morning or only now when i just msg her 1 hr before our meetup. So irresponsible, i have to settle my ger, make up and get ready to meeet her , just msg her to confirm and then she say she on MC. If u on mc, should tell me earlier, what if i have waited for u at ur workplace, u will never tell me until i call u lor!!! waste my time..
 
XY
yah, generally cheaper! i found one or 2 books which was cheaper on acma with their february 26% discount.

brushing teeth
E is really against brushing his teeth these days! i have to force him, and even then i will sometimes use the towel to wipe because i'm not convinced it's clean enough. just hope he doesn't end up with cavities :S

genice
i'm keen on the small washing machine too. what brand is it called ah? i go google for more information..
 
genice
I know! Like that malay massage lady who fly kite on me - morning itself just sms me say today not coming, see u tmr. no reason given. i was so fed up, i told her tmr no need to come.
 
bkkgal.. yes.. its super irritating.. at least give me some time to react like the day before!! I have already settled my ger, changed and makeup. Somemore she din msg me, cause i msg her to reconfirm cause she got a history of flying kites/aeroplanes/helicopters... whatever lah.. I have decided that i am not gonna waste my time on her, she was an ex colleague that we have met up a few times but i think i will drop her out of my contact list.. irritating..

isobellies.. i think its scence the brand of the washing machine.
 
Does this contact of yrs hv kids? Nowadays, ever since hving kids, I get irritated with single frens who treat our apptments flippantly. They dun understand that it takes a lot of planning, prepping for us to either leave kids with a bbsitter or prepare to bring them along.
 
Amazingly!!! She has one!! 6 mths old and we are just meeting up to catch up on her little one plus my # 2. thats why i am even more angry cause she shld noe time is precious for us. Rather than possibly waiting like an idiot at the mrt, i could have done more things at home b4 my ger comes back.

I agree that i cant stand pp that think our appts are so flexible like rubber, i have make an effort to meet up and maintain relationship, the last thing i expect is this kind of treatment.. sigh..
 
tongtong
My boy also sleeps very little..he sleeps about 11-11.30pm and wakes up at 7.30. Naps about 2.5 hrs a day in the afternoon.

Brushing teeth - nowadays my boy more dong shi - explain to him about why we need to brush. We got him a brushing teeth book half a year ago..he likes that book and it makes the brishing sound when pressed, so we press the sound while he brushes. I also ask him to brush my teeth and after that we take turns. I also let him brush in front of the mirror so he can see what he is doing. On and off he will still resist brushing, but its easier now.
And getting a cute cartoon toothbrush helps!
 
Mummies who have ordered books thru me.

Paiseh.. they are not here yet.. prob. in 1-2 weeks time according to the ccc. Hope you all dun need the books urgently.Will get back to u all when the books are here.
 
brushing teeth
my boy likes brushing teeth coz he likes eating the toothpaste. Lol. I'm using mandarin flavoured organic children toothpaste tt i bot from vitakids, so it's safe to swallow. He doesnt know how to gargle yet.

Sleep time
A sleeps 8pm-7:30am but he will wake up once at night to sleep in our bed. He naps ard this time to 3+. He sleeps about 13.5h a day w i find its v good.
 
Eh sweetpea, your boy’s sleeping timing is about the same as mine!

Clover , that is good. Mine I think only sleeps like 10+ hours a day. He seems to be energetic everyday. Dunno whether it’s because he is at home every weekday, so din get to release all this energy.
 
tong,
one way to make them feel tired - bring them outdoor and play.
sure knock out very fast at night.
i guess that's one of the reason that C so tired after CCC. she's got daily outdoor play.
happy.gif



genice,
i hate ppl who fly aeroplane too.
sad but true that a lot of ppl treating ppl in your line like it's your job to accomodate their timing no matter what - because they are the opportunity for you to earn $.
sad.gif
 
hi there,
do you just use water to wash their bottom after they poo?
if use solution, what do you use?

aiyah, i ordered the california baby's diaper area wash and now they refunded me as it's OOS!!
now wondering what to use to wash C's bottom. not possible to organise another spree just to get that.
sad.gif


tong,
remember you have some home remedy. can share share?
 
tong, actually if he seems energetic, it cld be he's running on reserve energy. A used to be like tt when he was sleeping 11+h in a day, then it takes a long while to settle him to sleep coz he's overtired.
 
XY, I use his bath syampoo to wash his bottom after poo. Actually the b diaper wash is more for your #2 liao. For C can use the normal bath solution lor. Eh the diaper wash solution I forgot what’s the recipe liao :p you can google and see, I actually got from there too.

Clover, possible. But I dunno how to make his sleep earlier leh.. unless he is being rocked. He can sleep easily when being rocked ( like in the car/ yaolan).
 
tong,
the diaper wash i am using quite good, can reduce the redness very fast.
so still using it for C.
i tried to google, can't find. what are the keywords to use?
 
xy.. yar lor.. my job always kena fly plane but i dun mind if they tell me earlier , at least i am prepared not like her lor...

Erm.. wash bottom must use solution one? i have never used anything.. everytime just wash under tap.. i think very clean already.. adults dun even wash after big business.. haha

iso..
happy.gif
hows ur hse.. done? moving in when?

wow.. all of ur sleeping hrs seems quite healthy.. need to tweet her sleeping hrs already.. Btw, do u all remember what time NB will wake up.. i forgot already.. normally they sleep till what time one?? i cant imagine juggle nb and have to prepare G for sch by myself.. hope theri timing dun clash..
 
genice,
very inconsiderate. so still meeting her again?
sad.gif


their skin very tender one. if dun clean her up after big business, it will be red red very soon. it's worse if dun clean up immediately after big business, then she move here and there with the 'cake' in her diaper. whole bottom very dirty...

i remember C sleep for the night at about 10pm. then wake up at 3am, 6am when NB. timing doesn't seem to clash.
but then, means settle NB to sleep, then #1 will wake up for school. --> no sleep for mummy.
sad.gif
 
iso,
E still refuses now eventhough you're using the thomas orajel paste? have you tried the fruit splash one? C loves orajel esp the bear one (fruit splash), he keeps wanting more...

xy,
i use any soap... for poo2 use hand soap near my basin then during shower will use his bath soap. nvr buy anything special :p

re: brushing teeth,
When C refuses to brush, we told him that if he doesn't brush teeth then it will become dirty and that ants will go to him (bad i know, but it works)... these days easier though, and he knows when it's time to brush "eeee" i.e. teeth closed, he will brush, when it's time to brush "aaaa" i.e. mouth open, then it's time for either me/hb/maid to brush... he also knows brushing teeth must do twice i.e. bottom and upper teeth coz we talk to him while we brush his teeth... sometimes we let him play around with the brush and him brushing his own teeth first until he gets tired then we take over and properly brush... but same like clover, he doesn't know how to gargle yet or rather we never taught him to gargle :p

re: sleeping time,
genice, i got the same problem lately too ! C sleeps very late around 10-11 sometimes 11.30 and wake up very late. in the past i'm able to spend time in the morning to bathe him and settle him before i go to office... these days no time really... i cut down nap time to 1x a day still no change now..
 


jeannie
not done yet leh, so many small things still need to do, taking so long esp with the CNY break. sian!

tute
yah the thomas toothpaste seems to have worked for like 2 days, then after that he was sick so v cranky. but i'll try the fruit splash. maybe i'll try the ants story too, haha..
btw u want to meet next week to pick up the toothpaste?
 
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