2 kids age difference of 18 months

[bubbliciouslee]

Hi Poohy,
Great to hear tat u are coping well.. I am really amazed at how you handle your 3 kids!

Hi Corrine,
Yah, i also support the idea of employing a maid then send the maid with ur 2 kids to ur aunts' place. Back then when i had a maid, i also sent the maid and my 2 gals to my pils place then bring them home every nite.

Hi mummies,
Need some advice from u... I have sold my flat abt 2-3 mths back and have been staying wf my pils. I realised that my 2 gals have become so closely bond wf my mil that they are only willing to sleep with her everynite.. It is until they fall alseep then i carry them over back to my room.. My younger always cry for her grandma whenever she wants to sleep. Even thou when my mil is away she also insisted on sleeping in her room.. I am really in a dilemma and dunno how to handle this. I tried to spend time wf them every evening and eventually coax them to sleep in my room bt many attempts failed.. I also believe that my mil find it taxing to handle my gals every nite and I do not want her to feel that my gals are a burden.. Can anyone share how I should handle this??

 

[red_tulip]

Hi,

How olds are your kids? I think bond with your mil is better than bonding with some other non family related people. It may be a phase, they may out grown it soon. Toddlers went through a period where they insist on doing something with someone everytime. For example, for my kids it must be daddy giving them vitamins every morning and I am not allowed do it for a few weeks.

Actually, don't have to worry too much about your mil since she still has a good night sleep when you carry them back to the room every day.

Suggest you play a game with them, such as guess where is the coin in your hand, if they guess correctly, they slepp with you that night. So don't have to argue or scold.

 

[mummyfel]

Hi Mummies,

Im glad that I found this thread...Initially I was feeling so bad that my No. 1 is still so young when Im preggy with No.2!

By the time I deliver No.2, my boy will be 20mths old.
Have been feeling so guilty that I have to send him to Playgroup Full Day as I dont have any maid at home, and my mil nor my mum can cope with 2kids!

When I chanced upon this thread, I feel so relieved that Im not the only one out there facing this problem..

I guess we have to think at the positive side. They will have each other to accompany through their childhood. : P

 

[hugomum]

This thread help, i can be mentally prepare as by the time i deliver #2, my #1 is only 22 months. I only got a maid (provided she can stay till then) and nobody else to help.

 

[piggy_mummy]

Hi,

Need advice from mummy here. I am FTWM (currently working as a temp. staff) and preggy with no 2, giving birth on sep. elder boy 25 mths now.
My problem is:-

Now elder taking care by mil with maid. He will be attending preschool next year (from 7.30 till 12.30 not at home, coz he take sch bus). But mil told me she can’t cope with no 2 even got maid help. Our thinking is since No1 going to sch, he not at home abt 5 hr, by rite they are able to cope, but….Me headache now, I come up with 3 options hope mummy here can help:

1) remain current situation: Maid and MIL take care of No1, then No2 go nanny
Because since he is taking care by mil n helper since he was 8 months, so he already get use to the environment. So not willing to have any changes to his schedule..
But I am very tight coz have to pay maid (abt 800, preschl abt 300, nanny 600)=1700 per month

2) both of them go nanny
elder we park at nanny for half day coz he is attending sch. Problem is my son coming to 2.5 yo next year, don know can use to nanny or not. Some more ask him to stay with stranger (nanny), quite kelian. And have to find a nanny who can take care of 2
(nanny half day $480 + full day $600 +presch $300)=1380

3) elder go cc, no 2 park at nanny
this is quite ok solution, and most of the parents suggest me. But me bu ren xin to put elder to cc. coz I find that quality of presch is better than cc. coz I feel if they attend presch, 3 hr perday, quite enuf for their age le..
(cc $500 + nanny for no2 $600)= 1100

Looks like option 3 is most workable and cheapest way.. but…

** my take home pay not high, that’s y headache now…

 

[snowball32]

Hi Piggy Mummy,

I have 2 kids - 18 mths apart. When #2 came along, I employed a maid to help my MIL and my MIL shift to my place on weekdays. #1 goes to 3-hr playsch while MIL look after #2 and maid do housework.

When #1 comes back, maid already finished basic housework and can help look after both kids. I also trained my maid to cook dinner (so tat MIL not stressed out by cooking). This arrangement worked great for us.

I sent #1 to fullday CC when she was ard 3yo and #2 when she was 21mths old.

U may want to talk to your MIL again as I think if your #1 is away for almost 6hrs everyday, with your maid around, your MIL shd be able to cope with #2.

Just my opinion.

 

[piggy_mummy]

Hi Snowball,

somemore my mil doesnt cook one, we buy outside dinner..so i really don understand y she cant handle it. my fil at home as well!!headache

 

[snowball32]

Hi Piggy Mummy,

Mayb your MIL is one who enjoys freedom and also do not want to get tied down with kids.

I shd say I am quite lucky as my MIL is the easy-going type lah, tho' we also have to handle MIL-Maid & MIL-DIL relationship issues.

Maybe you can discuss with her to help out until your #2 turns 18mths and both kids go to CC then pblm will not look so big for her.

 

[snowpooher]

piggy_mummy,
I agreed with snowball32. Yr MIL might be one who enjoys freedom and doesn't want to be "tied down".

My mum takes care both mine. When #1 arrived, #2 was at 19.5mths, and was into the stage of Terrible 2. When I returned to work after 3 mths maternity leave, #2 was 22.5mths old. My mum would call me every now and then to complain. I treated it as a way for her to fa xie, so I would just listened to her, though I very fed up too. I knew it's not easy for my mum to take care of 2 young ones (day and night some more!), it's a tough period but thanks to my mum who held on tightly until my #1 turned 3 to go preschool (3hrs). I arranged for bus transport for #1. Now, both kids go to preschool, leaving my mum a 3 hrs break each day (they still take sch bus cos I dun want to trouble my mum). I'm very thankful for my mum's support. It's her strong support that keeps me working, if not I would have quit years ago!

 

[milsound]

My mum also enjoys freedom. It's my dad who looks after my kids.

#1 who is 19 mths old. # 2 is only coming to 3 mths old.

I will be returning to work next month. I worry my dad wont be able to cope with 2 kids. I am looking for a half day cc near my parents' block. The one nearby has no half day cc available. Haiz.

Considering a 3 hour programme for #1, I went to check. Intake only begins next year. Haiz.

Looks like i've to take leave here & there to help out abit.

 

[ezerecs]

hi, happened to chance into this thread.
My boys are 17months apart. The baby is 4 months old. We both work, grandparents do not live nearby and we have no maid. I got a nanny to come take care of the boys while we are out at work. She can handle the 2 very well. I work part-time. No wed and alternate friday. It is tough but with good organisation, it's not the end of the world. At first, everyone told me I got the courage to do take care of two without help. My mum kept saying "you poor girl". So I thought it was impossible or super tiring. Well, it was not that bad and I enjoyed the time with my 2 kids.
Hope this helps to console other ladies in same situation.

 

[strawbeans]

Hi, I happened to chance this thread, too. Though, a bit too outdated - here's my experience.

My boys are 13 mths apart. :-0

I quit my job to look after them. Not only look after my kids, I also have to do the other housework like laundry, cleaning, cooking, teaching.. Well, it is not easy indeed! U need to sacrifice a lot of things like watching TV, hogging on the laptop, talking on the phone with your friends.. But I did it! My boys are now in playgroup and nursery. They get along well because they grow up together. My husband has decided that I stay at home permanently, especially since I am pregnant with the 3rd one now.

So mommies out there, fret not! Kids can sometimes be a handful, but at the end of the day, it's worth all your time! :-D