My little one recently caught the flu bug.. then had not been sleeping through the night for the past week... at times, she wakes up to drink milk then start to play and sing to herself at 3am Poor me...
I'll be making a job switch in 2 weeks time therefore my days of being the 'breakfast runner' will end very soon. Yes I do agree on keeping a balance of pre and post baby habits. Just over the weekend, my hubby had a bad fall while cycling and I guess it shook him a little with the amount of 'work' such as house chores, cooking for family, caring for baby involved, as he has injured his elbow and pretty much the entire left top torso from the fall. I hope with this incident, he will give it some thought on prioritising his hobbits and family time so that both parties in the relationship remain sane Stay positive mummy, very soon your boy will start formal education and during then you will miss times like these Before you know it, he will become a big boy.
It's unlikely that the cereal can pass thru the teat.
i thought we aren't supposed to give an thing except infant formula or BM in the 1st 6 mth?
Look for cereal that is suitable for 4month and above. I not sure on the shelve are they still selling for 4 month and above. As I bought like 5year ago... Haha.... U need to change the teat to 6month, and it can pass thru. Slowly increase the cereal. Maybe like first week try out 1 tablespoon with milk powder.
The difference is I stay alone with hubby and baby girl. Well I understand that your current schedule is very packed and can make you mentally drained. I guess any FTWM would yearn for even 10 minutes more of sleep, 'me' time or even a good long shower You are very fortunate to have a helpful FIL!
Hi dion83sg, both of us operate pretty much the same in terms of level of independence
For your hubby, your intentions are valid but maybe the approach could be more subtle. Alot of times, there's an expectation gap. We expect this but got that instead. Men have their ego and they would feel hurt if their spouse raise their voices about doing house chores and so on. Maybe go out for a dinner date and seek your FIL's help to look after your girl for awhile. Talk it out with your hubby and share with him what you're going through. He may not know that you are doing alot (Trust me, sometimes guys are just not as observant).
In the meantime, maybe you might want to consider lessen your load by outsourcing. E.g. sacrifice on home cooked meals and order tingkat or pack home instead? For your house chores, can consider a part time cleaner? Stay positive, am here to hear you out
Seems like your hubby is addicted to the game. If all else don't work, maybe just leave it as it is cause you will only make yourself more upset having to nag at him. Pray that candy crush really 'crushes' then he will realise what's he has been missing
Hi dion83sg, very sweet and filial of you to cook for your family
Really salute all mummies here on the commitment and effort to child caring and managing the household!mawby84, you are doing well! you just need time management. Being a mummy really train us to multi-task and be more efficient. It may be tough in the beginning esp. when you start work, but rest assure that things will only get better. Seen there were many things we need to cover, try to simplify life and housework. It will be very helpful if hubby can contribute in whatever he can.
In the midst of our busy days, in and out, our little one is actually growing up, i remember coming home realizing the little new skills they pick up and witnessing the little milestones with them. We are very fortunate to be able to be with them after work because i had some coll. who had to put their children in Malaysia as they do not have anyone to help to take care of their bb and they can only see their child once a week. No need to pressure for the second one. Let nature take its course. Normally, when the child is around two years old, you will have more time, and that is when we may want to have the second one
Im also a working mummy, my girls are 3 and 6 years old now. I have a coll who always remind me to cherish the time i have now with my girls. She told me how she missed the time when she could read with her and hug her to sleep, she missed the feeling of being needed. She had one daughter and is in sec. 4 now. During weekend, her daughter is even more busier than her and her father. Her daughter had her own world and circle of friends, she prefer to go out with her friends or to do projects or watch movie with them. Both my coll and husband miss her daughter when she is small and still depend on them.
Yeah, I do not place so much emphasis on house chores now. I constantly see piling laundry and floor littered with my hairs but I chose to keep my attention to my girl. And yes, you are very right, they will only need us for this period of time. There will come a time where they are independent and make their own arrangements. So far, am happy to be able to witness the little new skills she picks up from us or her infantcare teachers.
cant quit, coz the man dun support the idea of SAHM. who knows, you can bump into some nice people and can be friends. because for the second child, our love and attention will be divided. That way, i always say it is Exclusive, just you and the baby, enjoying each other company, watching her sleeping peacefully, hugging her (love the warm skin contact), observing her when she drink her milk hungrily and eventually witnessing her smiling with satisfaction after her feeds. New born had such a nice smell and i always feel like kissing them, hehe!
MybossBump,
*hug* you are feeling this way because you are longing for a human relationship. Please don't close up yourself in the house for too long, start making friends in your new work place or your neighbourhood.
i feel unbearable in a world without human connection, or at least you can use this platform here to talk to us. Have you talked to your husband about your feeling? it will be useful.
It would be good if you could have some help like confinement nanny, your parents or mother-in-law or husband to be with you when you delivered, at least for the first month. Because as a first-time mum, it would be nice to have someone to guide you on taking care of the baby.
You know, the maternity period (no need to work but get paid) with your new bundle of joy is a very exclusive and wonderful experience that you can ever have, this only happen to your first child
As for now, try to take care of yourself by self-awareness, do things that make yourself happy, you can go for a walk after a meal or eat some food that you like (preferably healthy ones)
and no i cant watch show on bus because usually theres no seats for me! haha..
All men are quite similar. My hubby travel every other week. And he says things like he miss his children, how he wish he dun have to travel. But the week he is in sgp, he glued himself to his hp. I find his words so contracdicting.
thanks @summerpiggy yes! most of the time whenever i get emo i try to divert my attn. hate the thought that bb will be emo like his mummy.Hello all.
Thanks for sharing all these experiences! Technically speaking, I am a mom to be, but i foresee certain scenarios (just by reading the thread) i am gonna face when i return to work after the ML...
the man is a workaholic, hardcore one, no fixed working hours, but def longer then normal working class when he's not even self employed.
there's only 2 of us at home and I am into the 7th month preg, and there are so many occasions whereby when i leave for work at 7am, he's slping. when he returned home sometimes as late as 2am... i am already sleeping. including weekends.
i've little friends to begin with, after i'm preg even lesser coz i get tired easily and tend to choose to rest at home. i'm like, the only one that's married and preg, while the closest group of gfs are all single.. even similar topics getting lesser...
i've noone to talk to, on PH, off days, on rest days, on weekends. my own family is busy with their own biz, and all work till midnight. he's not close to his family.
i was terminated by my previous coy when they know about my preg at 1 month old, super like the job scope and pay! but well... hais. so i managed to find another job.. the boss 'willing' to hire me, but with no other benefits except the maternity leave of 4 mths. No AL, no ... nth... and with a 35% paycut. i am now taking home the salary i was earning when i finished my O'levels. lol. i now travel to work every day via bus-bus-bus-walk. total journey takes me 1.5hours... to and fro is like 3 hours.
i've booked childbirth education classes, knowing that i will def need some crash course as i have noone to help me after bb is out, and esp after the CL leaves after 28days. the man say he will attend with me.. but he failed too. i see no point in attending the classes anymore. and the thought of putting the bb at infant care at 4+months kills me.
upcoming next there are times whereby i will be home alone for a few days for the next 2 months. i survived 3 days alone few weeks ago. a few more to go.
Feel like i am going crazy anytime soon, so many times i cried when i was alone. best time to crying fact is during showers. but the thought of emo mummy = emo baby scares me, so i always try to limit my tears to no more then 5 mins.
it's bb kicks and movements that wake me up each time i am feeling emo and down, and keeps me going!
ok. enough of rants. if you'd read till tis far, thank you. :')
If you could, consider putting your baby in infantcare slightly earlier, just in case he / she isnt used to the place and you might want to enrol him / her in another infantcare. If you're concerned over the level of care and attention provided (infantcare normally 3 to 4 infants to 1 teacher), you may consider nanny services which is usually 1 to 1. I started my little girl on infantcare when she turned 3 months old. If you need more info or advice on infantcare, you can PM me
First of all, congrats on your pregnancy! You had already come this far to the 3rd trimester, well done! Other than immediate family members, would you be able to seek comfort in cousins or cousins in law? Earlier, you've shared that your previous company terminated your service upon knowing about your pregnancy. Have you sought any advice from MOM about this to seek some form of recourse? I think this constitutes unfair treatment or discrimination.
I feel you in terms of needing the emotional support during pregnancy and confinement period. It was weird like I tear at the slightest things (which I normally wouldn't). It got pretty bad for me like I would wake up in the middle of the night to cry (for no good reason). I shared with my gynae and she referred me to a psychiatrist just to make sure everything was ok.
Putting your baby in infantcare isnt a bad thing as most families now rely on dual income. Its painful initially like for the first couple days but it will get better
During your confinement, have the CL lady do everything and have as much rest as you can. In the meantime, you can choose whether you would like to breastfeed. If yes, its a good time to start reading up on breastfeeding tips. It can be a little tricky during the start
No cousins. All of them are in Msia and we perhaps meet once a year. Haha.. In fact there's only one cousin with kids and he married at a super young age. I did not sought advise from MOM, but many told me i should hv done so, at least, get some form of compensation. but it's gonna be tricky as i was asked to leave by 'tendering'... so ya. *shrug Hello @mawby84 thank you!
I feel u. I know wad u meant by waking up to cry for no reason.because thats what i've faced at times. i will be thinking why the hub can go out makan with his people till 4am but cannot come back and accompany me den i will start getting emo.
I'm thinking of placing bb in half day infant care for starter, perhaps like u say 3rd mth onwards to see how he cope. once i return to work he will be on full day. nanny service will be my last resort if the waiting list is too long for those infant cares.
AND YES! I wanna breastfeed. Hopefully for at least 6 mths and if i can make it to 1 year it would be even better... did u manage to BF ur girl?
Well, even now when my little one is 7 months old I still feel blue at times when my hubby goes out for his usual cycling routine on Sunday morning and I have to stay home (by default) to care for my girl.
Heys good morning @MyBossBump, on what I shared about MOM... I went through it myself (unfortunately). When I contacted MOM, they advised me to escalate the matter to the highest man in the firm and see if what could be done and added that I should not submit resignation letter no matter what happens. MOM would only be able to act if there's black and white termination letter from the employer. Anyway, I had sinced moved on to a new job (thank God for that).
Well about the sob episodes, it took awhile to subside. Be prepared for mild post natal blue symptoms esp when you're caring for your little one. Just try to think positively as much as you can and get lots of rest
For infantcare, do note that there are differences in the fees between full and half day. For my girl's ifc, the cost of half day is like 75% of full day (not worth it) and I'm not sure if the government subsidy quantum is the same. Do start your research early on infantcare and put your name on waiting list. Putting her in infantcare early had been the best decision I made for myself during maternity, otherwise I probably had not found my sanity yet.
On breastfeeding, yes am still breastfeeding her. I noticed a slight dip in my supply as I reduced the number of pumps per day (2 at home and 1 at work). However, my girl has been supplemented with formula since day 1. I intend to bf her till she's 1 year old. If you had not bought a breastpump, maybe can do some online research and get 1 early so that you can try using it in the hospital under the lactation nurse's guidance
morning! sad to hear that u've faced such unfair treatment too! but glad that u'd found a better and (hopefully) greener patch to jump to. sadly, the highest man in my then coy = the person that asked me to 'tender'. lol. i have learnt about 'staying firm' and not accepting these unfair treatment again. wow fast reply from you @mawby84
i really really really hope that i will not have any post natal blues... totally cannot imagine it. hopefully caring for the little one can chase the blues instead of 'inviting' them over.
infantcare wise, i cannot put my name on waiting list before bb is out. looking at myfirstskool currently, and their policy changed... we can no longer be on waiting list if bb is not out yet. :'( u mentioned that u put your girl in infantcare when she's 3mths old. u returned back to work straight? it's tough to be a working mum, AND a BF mum too! and yup! I've gotten a pass down pump from a friend to try out as she'd given it up when she returned to work...
Heys @MyBossBump, ooo i happen to log on to SMH when you replied. It's good that you've left the company
Hhmm on the contrary for me, my blues started when I had to take care of my girl. I guess it has to do with the lack of sleep at night and we tend to multi task in the day like doing simple house chores, cooking and so on. But it gets better when your baby start sleeping longer hours in the night.
For infantcare, different schools have different policies, you may want to consider expanding your options. Yes, I put her in infantcare the moment she turned 3 months old as I was on the lookout for a new job right after maternity leave. Needed the time to go for interviews and so on. If you intend to breastfeed after returning to work, I can share some info with you on passing the FBM to infantcare
@mawby84 yo~ Took a while to reply! i a m no longer a working mum2be (AGAIN!!!) my collg just shared with me that my ex boss trying to siam the ML. took me a while to accept my 'fate' so didnt really log online. now i am back, and motivated once again since i cannot let my 'suayness' beat me. hahaa... i guess the plus side of getting terminated = more rest. and more time to research on whats best for bb when he's out.
Ohh i'm so sorry to hear about your job. Stay focus on your baby Yes, the more research you do now will prep you better! Smooth delivery to you mummy!
