| Author |
Message |
    
die (die)
Junior Member
Username: die
Post Number: 407
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2010 - 2:34 pm: | 
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Dear all,
Do u remember me? I have not been posting cuz nothing to contribute but have been reading up on all ur posts ;)
I have downloaded the adoption application forms from SBL Vision and start filling up today.. |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 230
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2010 - 5:04 pm: |
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die,
yes, we definitely remember you. Good to hear from you. I haven't heard about SBL Vision. Are they efficient?
ashwin,
CONGRATS!!!! Enjoy parenthood! Yoohoo!
lalithamalini, Sorry that you can't keep the baby. But kudos to you for giving birth even though you can't keep her. You are very noble in this way. Maybe you can approach an agent for help. I only know one agent and she's from Lotus. All the best to you. wish i can cradle your girl. |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 231
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2010 - 5:05 pm: |
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strawberrysusu, I feel that the chances of you adopting locally is high. My agent handled a few local babies. But you have to wait abit cos alot of Singaporean like to give up their babies to foreigners. |
ashwin (ashwin)
New member
Username: ashwin
Post Number: 8
Registered: 6-2010
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2010 - 11:00 pm: |
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lalithamalini, I spoke abt you to my agent. My agent from Ministry of Baby Adoption International will be able to assist you. You may contact her at adoption@minister.com. you may PM me if you need her contact no. Becareful of which agency you go to. |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 1009
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 20, 2010 - 11:11 pm: |
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Strawberrysusu,
Great news! One step closer to motherhood. Excited for you. Can't wait to read about your progress!
Die
Of course I remember you and your plan! Good luck in filling up the forms. Getting closer to motherhood! |
invictus (invictus)
New member
Username: invictus
Post Number: 1
Registered: 7-2010
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 21, 2010 - 11:51 am: |
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Hi everyone
my wife and I have been following this forum for some time, albeit silently, and we wanted to say that you have all been a source of remarkable inspiration and encouragement for us. so firstly, thank you ..
strawberrysusu
all the very best for the home visit!
ashwin
congrats! enjoy the wonders of parenthood!
die
we have just submitted our forms a few weeks back so wanted to take this opportunity to wish you the very best .. it is quite a bit of documentation but I must add that there was a certain joy to doing the file up  |
Lubna (lbag)
Junior Member
Username: lbag
Post Number: 168
Registered: 6-2010
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 21, 2010 - 12:22 pm: |
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Hi all, i recently failed my 1st ivf cycle and we too scared to try it again. we were thinking if by 5 years time, we are still not blessed with children, we are thinking of adopting. May i know the cost and the procedure? |
die (die)
Junior Member
Username: die
Post Number: 408
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 21, 2010 - 5:47 pm: |
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Invictus, Thanks.
U r rite, it is a kind of affirmation when hubby n i did the paperwork together..kind of like a tag-team ;) All the best to u too.
Lubna,
U can start by downloading application forms from websites like Touch, Fei Yue, SBL Vision. Upon sending in ur paperwork and documents, u will need to attend an office interview and a home interview. After passed approval, u can approach child adoption agency to look for a baby. Most will charge around 25k. Once selected a baby, can apply for dependents pass follow by birth cert.
Let me know if any other queries? BTW, I also had one failed IVF cycle prior to this. |
Meena Ramesh kumar (rameena4ever)
New member
Username: rameena4ever
Post Number: 3
Registered: 10-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, July 22, 2010 - 8:27 am: |
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Hi everyone!
I am not new here. I have been following this thread over the last couple of months. I have a 9 week old baby boy . My hubby and I brought him home when he was just 29 hours old.
Can those of you who have been for your interviews with MCYS please share with me what kinds of question do they ask? |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 803
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, July 22, 2010 - 4:20 pm: |
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strawberrysusu,
all the best in your home interview.
Lubna,
It depends whether you are interested in local or foreign bb. Think local will be easier. For foreign, die has given you the procedure. But as cost it will depend on the agency. Some charge at 27k some at 25k.
lalithamalini,
is better to go thru an agent to find a good home for your child. U wont want yr child to end up in a family that doesnt love her. |
Lubna (lbag)
Junior Member
Username: lbag
Post Number: 181
Registered: 6-2010
| | Posted on Thursday, July 22, 2010 - 4:30 pm: |
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bLESSWbb: How is the procedure for local baby? |
die (die)
Junior Member
Username: die
Post Number: 409
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, July 22, 2010 - 7:07 pm: |
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Something cute to share with everyone..
My hubby got so excited since we started compiling the HSR, I mentioned that later on when we have a home interview, we need to straighten the house and show the social worker where the baby cot will be, where the food preparation etc..he said gotta move the tv/computer table out of the room to put baby cot. Then i casually asked, 'Then cannot watch tv how?' He stared at me and said 'Which one more important???' Coming from him, really very cute lor..haha if u could see his serious expression ;) |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 1013
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, July 22, 2010 - 11:57 pm: |
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Die
Yep, your hubby is ready! Hooray! Can't wait to read your updates!!
Rameena
Congrats! you are indeed very fortunate that baby was home with you so soon. Understand from the ladies here that the assessor would ask you questions that are similar to the questions raised in the HSR. If yours is a local adoption, just go through TOUCH website and download the form for HSR to have an idea about what they will ask. Good luck to you.
Invictus
Welcome! It is good to have new sisters. Need to keep this thread alive to inspire others as well.
Lubna
It is good that you are giving yourself some time limit. For local baby, you can approach MCYS. I think there is a long queue or you can contact local agents. FYI, there is requirement for HSR for local babies. All the bests. |
die (die)
Junior Member
Username: die
Post Number: 410
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Friday, July 23, 2010 - 4:39 am: |
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iwantitvmuch,
sorry,
missed ur post earlier, i dun know if they r efficient but the social worker i spoke to was nice and they said upon sending in hsr they will take 3-4 mths to the office interview.
Dream, tks..im so excited too we even kinda agreed on a name for baby liao hee..kiasu |
strawberrysusu (strawberrysusu)
New member
Username: strawberrysusu
Post Number: 48
Registered: 7-2009
| | Posted on Friday, July 23, 2010 - 10:25 am: |
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Die, happy and excited for you! Preparing the HSR is tedious but we did enjoy the process of reflecting on the questions asked.
Invictus, glad you;ve handed yours in! Now it's just a period of waiting and preparing yourselves for the prospect of parenthood
Lubna, praying for you. IVF is an emotional rollercoaster and it can be a tiring process. Do take time to recover.
Iwantitverymuch, I made some calls to local hotlines and shelters, and it appears local babies are qte rare.
We are meeting up with a few agents next week. Our home visit is on Tue! Qte exciting, our house needs some straightening out before that |
invictus (invictus)
New member
Username: invictus
Post Number: 2
Registered: 7-2010
| | Posted on Friday, July 23, 2010 - 12:26 pm: |
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Hi die, my wife and I are doing the exact same thing!! we have started sharing our thoughts on what would be a nice name. I know that it's still early in the process, but we are just so excited
strawberrysusu, thanks much. I've met a couple of agents too. Perhaps later we could share our experiences and thoughts on the meetings.
lubna, keep well. we have gone through IVF several times, so we can understand how you feel. if you enjoy reading, you could trawl our libraries for books on adoption. there are both books on preparing oneself for the adoption process (most books are US-centric and UK-centric) as well as those featuring true-to-life stories. I found them useful and in many cases so touching.
rameena, congrats and all the very best for the interviews .. from what has been shared here in the forum as well as from what i have gathered from my reading, the assessors are there to help and support us in this process |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 232
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Friday, July 23, 2010 - 12:27 pm: |
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Lubna, good that you are taking your time to think things over after your first IVF. You need time to recover. Sometimes, I feel that after IVF, my hormones were still out of swing sometimes. Rushing into adoption might be too emotional.
If you are waiting for another 5 years, a lot might have changed in terms of procedures and regulations. We have to go through physical examinations to ensure that we are fit enough to adopt too. So, you have to weight all options while considering.
Die, very excited for you. I'm glad that your hubby is so supportive now. That's the thing with guys. Once they warm up to the idea, they are very involved. Wait till you see how protective he will be of the child in future, it will be even cuter.
M.R.Kumar, the social worker will ask you questions similar to the HSR. Basically, they want to verify what you wrote and clarify any points which are unclear. SOmetimes, they will also share their experiences and all in all, they are there to help us. Don't worry.
I'm so glad the thread is growing!! I strongly encourage those who are going through the process now to stay closely knitted. This will help you with the wait and provide support and comfort. |
Lubna (lbag)
Junior Member
Username: lbag
Post Number: 182
Registered: 6-2010
| | Posted on Friday, July 23, 2010 - 2:37 pm: |
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girls: ya, now im trying my best to recover emotionally and physically. Really wish i can carry my own baby soon as i tend to get so depressed looking other baby. Thanks for your wishes. |
invictus (invictus)
New member
Username: invictus
Post Number: 3
Registered: 7-2010
| | Posted on Friday, July 23, 2010 - 3:35 pm: |
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hey all, i read previously from the thread that andrea yee's books are pretty good, coming with a local context, but i have not been able to find them at kino, borders or popular. would anyone know where i can get a copy? she has a lifebook as well right? |
yuli (yuli)
Junior Member
Username: yuli
Post Number: 332
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Friday, July 23, 2010 - 4:23 pm: |
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Hi everyone! Fantastic to see so many newcomers on this thread! And also so nice to hear of the progress of some of you!
Hey Die! Glad that you’re starting on your adoption journey! I am so happy for you that the husband is so excited. It really helps and you both can fuel each other
Strawberry susu, so glad things are moving along for you! Like you and Die, I also found the filling of the HSR really tedious. I was complaining a lot about filling it up, about how biological parents don’t have to prove why they deserve to be parents or be soooo scrutinised (cpf, iras, savings acc etc) before they become parents. BUT while filling the forms, I realise that it gave my husband and I time and opportunities to reflect and discuss issues that we may not otherwise talk about before baby comes.
Like iwantitvmuch, I’m really glad to see the thread come alive with so much buzz these days. It reminds me of when the first group of us were going through our HSRs and the waits. She’s absolutely right – stay close knitted cos you can be a support group for each other and the children can have each other for support too.
Someone asked about adopting locally. I don’t know about the status now but about a year ago while I was at your stage, I placed my names with several shelters and up till today, I haven’t heard back from them (instead I have heard back from the different agents I had enquired with) with any available child for adoption. I am told the queue for local babies is very long.
Talking about books on adoption related stuff. I agree that most books are US or UK centric. Has anyone come across any adoption books that are more asian-centric? Or come across any local blogs on adoption? What’s Andrea Yee’s book about? I have her lifebook.
Lubna, sorry to hear about the failure. I know how horrible it is.
I been meaning to join TAFNET but haven’t gotten down to filling the form and printing a photograph – wish they allowed us to just email a soft copy to them! Has anyone attended? What is it like? Do they tell you in advance what will be discussed at the mtg? Or is it like free for all, just go and discuss? Do the children go along? |
invictus (invictus)
New member
Username: invictus
Post Number: 4
Registered: 7-2010
| | Posted on Friday, July 23, 2010 - 5:41 pm: |
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hi yuli, the one that i've come across is titled "We Just Want You To Know" and i believe that it serves as an adoption disclosure tool. is this the same as the lifebook that you have?
dear all, i came across this poem which i wanted to share with everyone. it brought tears to my eyes with its tenderness, and at the same time the strength of a mum's resolve (unfortunately the site that i found this was not able to cite the author of this poem)
~~ LABOR OF MY HEART ~~
I would have given anything
to be the one to know
the pain of bringing you into this world
but it couldn’t be.
Though I did not bring you here
still I labored in my tears
through the long nights I prayed
you would come to me.
You are the labor of my heart Child,
you are the labor of my heart
with all my strength I prayed
till they laid you in my arms Child,
you are the labor of my heart.
Blessed be the maker
of bone of other bone.
He made flesh of my desire
and today I take you home.
You are the labor of my heart Child,
you are the labor of my heart
with all my strength I prayed
till they laid you in my arms Child,
you are the labor of my heart Child,
you are the labor of my heart. |
die (die)
Junior Member
Username: die
Post Number: 411
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Friday, July 23, 2010 - 6:48 pm: |
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Invictus,
Your poem made me cry..i've saved it to share with others later on..how touching and meaningful..tks for sharing
Tks everyone for ur positive vibes |
Mrs Chou (angel_mummy)
New member
Username: angel_mummy
Post Number: 15
Registered: 6-2010
| | Posted on Saturday, July 24, 2010 - 1:34 am: |
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Wow Times flies, I didnt notice I am so busy with my little girl I hv not come into this site for the last 2 weeks and so many updates and good news
Today I bump into Ellebaby, her hubby and their princess at the Legal firm.
@Ellebaby, Ouwwwweee yr little princess is so cute Now that i got yr number and we are both living in the West. Will definitely arrange to catch up
@BlesswBB (confuse), sorry for late reply do send a email to Ms Teo YuXian (teoyuxian@fycs.org) from Fei Yue, she can assist you in the registration. The group next meeting will be 2nd Sat of Aug (as 1st Sat is NDP, usual meeting is every 1st Sat of the Month)
@strawberrysusu, All the best 4 the home interview and will keep you n hubby in prayers for a smooth process and your destinated BB to come along soon Dont be too surprise when u have your BB pple will start commenting BB look like one of you In the meantime remember do rest well and stay healthy as strength and stamina are really required when yr BB arrived |
Mrs Chou (angel_mummy)
New member
Username: angel_mummy
Post Number: 16
Registered: 6-2010
| | Posted on Saturday, July 24, 2010 - 1:56 am: |
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@die, yr hubby so cute in his response, i totally understd how u feel, as my hubby oso that kind who have little to no feeling about BB /Kids. Infact, he answers a few Fei Yue assessors qns so "factually" like "I really dont know how to answer you cos it has not happen to me"...i nearly break out in cold sweat and think gone case liao lah...but maybe becos he is a teacher, so assessor think he shld be able to handle kids. But guess what ! This ice-man just melt when our Angel come into our life, the 1st time in my life and even in his direct family members life seeing him making baby talks, carrying a BB, and start being the protective DD over his little Angel. Daddy always surprises us, their paternal love just emerge out of no where but always just in time
@Lubna, IVF is a v tormenting journey for some of us. I did mind last yr, was conceived w twins, but have a miscarriage of my twin boys on 31 Dec 09 on the 17th week of gestation, on top of that I was hving Ante-Natal depression stared week 6 of gestation. It is definitely one of the darkest moment in my life.
I think you r doing totally the right thing to give yourself time to moan and grieve over your lost. We all deserve to be give the time as they are our children no matter in Heaven or on earth.
As for your consideration for adoption, beside checking on the cost do go for the Adoptive related workshops held by both TOUCH and Fei Yue, that can help you understand the process and most important the journey. Hubby and myself will be keeping u n hubby in our prayers |
ellebaby (ellebaby)
New member
Username: ellebaby
Post Number: 23
Registered: 12-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, July 24, 2010 - 10:39 am: |
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Mrs chou, it's a wonderful coincidence to have met you too ! aww..thx u..she is my cutie angel (esp when she sleeps too!) ;P Sure, would love to catch up ! let me know.
Die, soo happy for you. You are closer to motherhood ! I can imagine your hubby face when he replied ! It is impt to have mutual support and it looks like he will !
Can't wait to hear more updates from you.
Meena, don't worry and be yourself. Like what iwantitvmuch say, they will ask you questions on what is on the HSR. It is sort of like cross-reference chk.
Lubna, I understand how you feel. It is natural to feel scared. Rest well. Do attend the adoptive workshop from Touch to understand the process.
strawberrysusu, clean up the house ! Once the home visit is done, you will get your hsr report. Your little one will be home soon.
invictus, thx u for sharing the beautiful poem. It's touches a raw part of my heart and speaks volume.
Yuli, I am also thinking of joining TAFNET but have not yet gotten the family photo. Plan to print it next week and send the form off.
I think iwantitvmuch and janella joined TAFNET but not sure how's is it. |
rameena4ever (rameena4ever)
New member
Username: rameena4ever
Post Number: 4
Registered: 10-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, July 24, 2010 - 10:58 pm: |
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Thanks for all your input. I never had to do the HSR cos mine is a local adoption, anyway, the interview was a very long one but it went okie. next is the home visit in 2 weeks time.
Do all of you here meet up for chit chat sessions? |
Mrs Chou (angel_mummy)
New member
Username: angel_mummy
Post Number: 17
Registered: 6-2010
| | Posted on Sunday, July 25, 2010 - 2:17 am: |
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@Yuli, For TAFNET sign up, I was filling up the form in my PC & copy and past a family photo on the form, print it out, sign on it and send in w the cheque. I think that is good enough for them no need to have really a photo paper print out.
btw for mummies who are interested in TAFNET, can consider signing up now as these few months are low to no activities months. This is becos they have a big group of Expat parents who usually need to travel back home for summer holiday during Jul/Aug. So if u sign up now, I believe will be just in time to join their home groups and outings which will start getting active in Q4. Hubby n I are waiting for our assignment to a home group, in the meantime we are enjoying the Fei Yue C.A.P get together w other parents once a month
Ellebaby asked me why we join both group, well I guess it is just the way both hubby and me "operate", we agreed since long time back when we attended the TOUCH adoptive workshops, we want to learn from other parents' experiences (esp in disclosure) and provide our children a condusive environment where they grow up w oth darlings who are "Labour of our Heart" (quote from invictus shared poem). We personally believe it is part of the disclosure process |
invictus (invictus)
New member
Username: invictus
Post Number: 5
Registered: 7-2010
| | Posted on Monday, July 26, 2010 - 11:37 am: |
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hi all, glad that some of u have really enjoyed the poem. btw, we have just been told that our first intervew will likely be in early Sep .. *big smiles* .. we are also signing up for Fei Yue's disclosure talks scheduled for end Aug
yuli, i just found out that the lifebook that you have from Andrea is probably the one i have been looking for. i've not had a chance to get it yet but also found out that Touch and Fei Yue both carry this title, so will be going to get a copy pretty soon.
strawberrysusu, all the best for tommorrow's home visit once again. |
Janella (janella)
New member
Username: janella
Post Number: 87
Registered: 7-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 - 3:44 pm: |
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Hi everyone
It's great to see so many new faces as well as the thread being kept alive.
Strawberrysusu, Invictus, Die, congratulations for embarking on the adoption journey. I really feel so excited for you all.The paperwork can be very tedious but once you get into the momentum, you'll get used to it.
Invictus, the poem is really very moving.
Yuli, Elle, Mrs Chou, I'm in TAFNET and I've also joined their small home groups (SHG). So far, I've attend one of the SHG meetings. It was held at the leader's house. Only three couples attended out of ten. But it was quite a fruitful session. Most of the meetings will centre around disclosure.TAFNET is also organsing another talk on disclosure (12 August) which is a continuation of the first one. I would love to attend but can't make it.
Lubna, I really feel for you. By all means, take the time to heal and adopt if both of you are very sure this is the option.As for me, I've gone through so many iui's and ivfs that i've lost count. Now I wonder why I wasted all my money and gone all through all the heartaches. My baby has brought me so much of joy that I have no desire to try and conceive ever again. |
Lubna (lbag)
Junior Member
Username: lbag
Post Number: 187
Registered: 6-2010
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 - 5:13 pm: |
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Janella: Thanks. Hopefully i can carry my own baby soon without embarking to ivf again. U also adopt? |
Andrea Yee (vickysmommy)
New member
Username: vickysmommy
Post Number: 32
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Friday, July 30, 2010 - 10:01 am: |
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Hello all, I'm an adoptive mommy of 2 girls adopted locally; 5 yo & 5 mths and they are the love of our lives. The best decisions we've made in our lives : ) For those of you waiting for your angels, I know it's difficult; you just want them NOW, right? : ) Your baby will come when it's the right baby for you. Just pray for your perspective child's birthmother in the meantime.
Thank you, Invictus, for the poem & for enquiring about my book "We Just Want You to Know.. Our Journey to Becoming a Family." It is a book you can read to your little one as soon as you are ready to disclose his/her adoption. I wrote it whilst trying to formulate the best sentences to use when disclosing my girl's adoption. Realised that it all came out sounding really -ve so I started writing and refining them. I was then encouraged by a couple of friends in our support group to publish it. I've used animals & insects to represent different family types so it will be relevant to all. On majority of the pages, there are blank pages for you to paste your own notes and pictures to customise it for your child - his very own Life Book!
Please see: http://sg.theasianparent.com/articles/we_just_want_you_to_know_andrea_yee
Meantime, keep this thread going - we are on this journey together : )
Have a good weekend ahead! |
Janella (janella)
New member
Username: janella
Post Number: 88
Registered: 7-2009
| | Posted on Friday, July 30, 2010 - 4:03 pm: |
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Lubna, yes I have adopted a baby girl. She is now 2 months old. I really can't gush enough about how much joy she gives us.
Andrea, welcome. Thanks for sharing with us. Is your book available at any of the local bookshops? |
ellebaby (ellebaby)
New member
Username: ellebaby
Post Number: 24
Registered: 12-2009
| | Posted on Friday, July 30, 2010 - 5:00 pm: |
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Hi Andrea, welcome ! It is great to see you joining this thread. Pls do join us often to share with us your experience and stories. I have gotten your book though I have yet to start. Thank you for writing this book. |
ashwin (ashwin)
New member
Username: ashwin
Post Number: 9
Registered: 6-2010
| | Posted on Friday, July 30, 2010 - 11:41 pm: |
|
hi everyone, i have been so busy with my little baby. it is sooooooo fun.
I just got to know a single mum in malaysia whom wants to give up her baby for adoption.
anyone who wants to be as buzzzy as me can email me ashwin244@gmail.com |
invictus (invictus)
New member
Username: invictus
Post Number: 6
Registered: 7-2010
| | Posted on Saturday, July 31, 2010 - 10:26 am: |
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Ashwin, Janella, both your sharing about the joys you have received is heartwarming.
Ashwin, i do hope the baby will find good parents to take care of her.
Andrea, it's great to meet you in this forum. Thanks again for sharing with me your experiences, and giving me such sound advice on my personal journey. |
Matters Of The Heart 
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