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Yoyokomama (yoyokomama)
New member
Username: yoyokomama
Post Number: 24
Registered: 5-2011
| | Posted on Monday, October 24, 2011 - 7:38 pm: | 
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I m lost,
I think it's not easy for u too as u hv 3 kids.. I belief hv hv also gone through alot in the long relationship. I hv been with my hub since 19 n now I m 32. Sometimes I also hated myself for giving him a chance 8 yrs ago if not I would probably been married to another man. But 8 yrs ago I also did told myself if he were to let me down again that would also b the end between us. So I kw I need to put a full stop since the most had happened.
That's life I guess. If this is his 1st mistake n u felt tt it's worth giving the relationship another chance just go ahead, but u need to b more conscious but not too suspicious in case it lead to unnecessary misunderstanding. |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3259
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, November 03, 2011 - 6:13 pm: |
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My experience is man will never change their ways... My cheating HB also said that we should try it again to be together... but in the meantime, still meeting up wif his foreign postitute gf. So, what's the point????
To patch back, for me to believe in the relationship again, I guess, the bare minimum is at least to break off with that postitute gf...
Anyway, now that we are at the divorce stage, I'm totally glad wif my decision coz the things he indicated in the afidavits to the lawyer made me feels like he juz wanted money and yet still want pple to pity him. F**K him... he's the one who wanted out in the relationship. At least be a man to own up to his mistake.
He still dare to say that he has contributed to his duty as a husband because he wash the dogs and clear the rubbish bins... I dunno whether I should laugh or to be angry. I forgave him before once when he went postitution once, which I regreted. Shouldn't have let him waste my time. |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3260
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, November 03, 2011 - 6:25 pm: |
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Now, he went for holidays with that postitute when he told me he cannot when we were together. He always watched movie with her, when he used to say save money, and watch from Computer. He bought him all the branded things but never for me. Even the only Coach wallet was I bought already and he gave me cash as birthday present. He brings her for all the dining at restaurants while we only eat at coffee shops.
This is how pathetic this whole relationship is. Your love for him is not even comparable to a postitute. And yet, he still have the cheek to turn around and say I am the one who force him to it.
Men will only spend money on these b**ches... so never give your hardearn money to them. They will never appreciate it.
Ladies, I am already in my 3rd exchange of documents, hopefully to get it over and done with.
If you need advice or support, feel free to pm me. |
feif (feif)
Member
Username: feif
Post Number: 1491
Registered: 8-2009
| | Posted on Friday, November 04, 2011 - 12:03 pm: |
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Stay strong, ladies!
Very distressing to learn that it's increasingly common for men to play around like it's no big deal. I know of someone who's husband is willing his CPF monies to the mistress even though they have 3 kids (and the guy still has his sisters). Still she chose to remain in the marriage for fear of embarrassment all these years.
It's important for us to stay strong in our convictions. Good to give chance but if the spouse is a total recalcitrant, it's time to be firm and assertive. |
RainbowSky (pasir_ris_beach)
Member
Username: pasir_ris_beach
Post Number: 1570
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Monday, November 21, 2011 - 4:59 pm: |
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hi all mummies...
especially toto tan, i thought i m facing the exact same problem as her. My husband also did the same things as toto's ex husband too for the past few years, to make things worst, he hid his affair from me for two years and came home n pretended everything at home was and now good.. but i still heartbroken..
now i am a step away to the divorce stage but undeciding what to do for eg, shd i still agree to 6 month cooling period for him to think abt what he wants and me to change my quick temper. meanwhile he claimed he still have to carry on acting with his mistress just to recover his money back from her which he spent on her for the past year. he brought her to pan pacific hotel twice, bought LV, gucci bag, wristlets, soo kee chain, ipad, iphone laptops, for her children, n even treated her family very well much better than us. so many things he did for her even including sign up for this year's sundown marathon to run tog with her but he did not even offer to run together with me for this year's sun down. he even fetched her back from last year's sundown marathon n spent a night with her at changi village hotel after she finished her 10km while i went back home alone after my 21km.. what is this???? he did so much for her while in the affair for 1 yr +++ while me with him for 7yrs..
i discovered his affair last sept. As i typing here, tears swelled up in my eye n flowed down my cheeks. |
narak (narak)
Junior Member
Username: narak
Post Number: 108
Registered: 2-2008
| | Posted on Monday, December 05, 2011 - 8:31 pm: |
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There are no implications for using your surname for your babies. My 4 year old girl used my surname and there haven't been a question at all. Even ICA didn't question me when I told them I want to throw the damn birth cert and I want my birth extract reflecting my name. I found out the father had an affair when my baby was less than a month old. So I decide, the baby is gonna be mine, in name and physically. |
tototan (tototan)
Junior Member
Username: tototan
Post Number: 226
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, December 11, 2011 - 8:23 am: |
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Hi Ladies,
hope everything is coping well..its Celebrations Seasons...Initially I haf fear of the seasons coming..thinking of the sadness & loneliness that I will feel...but I am glad to say that time is really a saviour..I am feeling almost great about myself..
as for new companion in life..it was honestly a huge concern when i chose to leave..i constantly think and feel pathetic that i will be alone forever..but suprisingly..I dun haf much time to really bother about that..kids and frens plus work is more than enuff to occupy my time!!...
it may seemed very very tough initially...but once its finalised..i start to heal..
Yuki,
you wun believe while i was stalking my ex's prostitute gfs and her frens..the things they say are ABSOLUTELY ABSURD!!!...they talked about the EXTRAORIDINARY LOVE they have..they BEAUTIFUL love they share...when they go back..the men felt SAD and how "CAN LAN" their relationship was..and saying things like "yeah! so happy my hubby is finally divorced from the BITCH! road to happiness!" and they spoke about meeting family of the men..say they are kind and nice people...!!
well done! the family is nice probably coz they dunno these Prositutes were sleeping with thousands of men...who are hell are they to break up family with kids thinking that they haf TRUE LOVE!
Rainbow sky,
your hubby's OW is prob a local?? you will know from here that the men will always find excuses that you are QUICK TEMPERED dats why you forced them away..and those are juz excuses..
similarly, saying to recover back his money are also excuses, but they are obviously sooooo good at lying that you cannot even tell the difference. easiest if you put yourself in a 3rd person shoe's and read your story again you will probably find it hard to believe too! pls be strong for your kid! take time to think of your plans in future.. |
RainbowSky (pasir_ris_beach)
Member
Username: pasir_ris_beach
Post Number: 1584
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Monday, December 12, 2011 - 2:25 pm: |
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Tototan
Hi yes the OW is local plus working in a local CPA firm at Keypoint. Married with two kids but the stepfather is often absent in the children lives hence the OW hooked up with my hubby for affair plus financial support as well while i m struggling to make ends meet on my hand.
Yes i know he has lied too often that i cannot tell how true his words when he insisted he telling truth, aiyo.. a leopard never change its spot. Plus recently i discovered something like blisters on my pte parts and i suspected he might have infected me with some herps but i have yet to see the doctor for a check up n i really fearful of facing the truth if my suspicion is confirmed by doctor. |
tototan (tototan)
Junior Member
Username: tototan
Post Number: 227
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, December 17, 2011 - 1:28 am: |
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Hi rainbowsky,
pls go to doc for a check! one of the reason for my divorce is also because of the filth of the adulterer..even if we dun love ourselves enuff..think of the kids..some STD can be spread via kisses..like cold sores..
your hubby's OW haf married twice already?!?! not judging..but by the fact dat she couldn't stand loneliness and is having affairs while in the marriage..sumthing not very right..
i hope you see the light soon...you are struggling like me..doesn't make a difference when you struggle alone or struggling knowing your hubby is having the cake and eating it! but its your choice to make..both decisions are tough..
but i believe we should not be treated like a doormat..
i shared wif a few forumers about divorce stories..my exMIL divorce with my exFIL only a few years ago tough his philandering ways haf started way since they met 30 yrs ago..she hung on to the marriage..hoping dat he will come bk..end up when he hit 55, he wanted CPF monies and file for divorce asking for a 60-40 split in assets..
while thinking that exMIL suffered years in silent...the court thinks otherwise, as evidence haf shown that he haf supported the children and her financially though he was away. and for the fact that she knew about his affairs and DID NOTHING about it, i.e counselling, talks, but instead juz wait for miracle to happen, court deemed that she CONDONED such behaviour so she lost fighting for 90-10 of the assets..
as for the children, inclusive of my exhubby haf obviously repeated his dad's footstep, 1 SIL who is doing super well, while the other SIL was emotionally, mentally scarred badly.
thus even staying in a marriage for the sake of painting a beautiful picture to the children may not neccessarily be a good thing. |
RainbowSky (pasir_ris_beach)
Member
Username: pasir_ris_beach
Post Number: 1590
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2012 - 11:40 am: |
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tototan
now i sleep apart from him due to my son staying at my mum place few times per week.
And i find that i feel calmer inside my heart and my feelings for him still not alive. so sorted of dying. On the other hand, he said he started missing me n feel his love getting more n more. i have no idea how possible it is since i dun sleep with him.
Now waiting for the hdb flat to be repossessed first then i plan the child maintainenance and alimony.. any idea how reasonable to ask for in today's inflation for a school going child plus the possiblity of renting a room for myself n child.
as for the last post, i dun think it is a good idea to stay on marriage jsut for the child sake.. maybe to the child, a complete family is good but as his mum, i m suffering inside. so much burdens from his dad. and he wont let go of the other woman. he claimed they are friends now, no more lovers but i dun believe. |
Givingup (givingup)
New member
Username: givingup
Post Number: 4
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2012 - 12:12 am: |
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Hi Mummies
Im revisting this thread again after my post sometime in Apr/May 2010, when I shared my contempt of divorce.
Right now, I still back to square one - haven excuted my divorce intention. Almost served him the papers but I hesitated at the 11th hour. What's holding me back? My gal (like many of you here, my gal is stil of tender age; barely 18m), my feelings for him and the family, the good times we haf spent (yes, no doubt the current shit he gives me now is even more detrimental for all the good times we had before).
To update all, haf moved on from my previous suspicion that he paid for sexual services at message parlour. Now, he's seeing another woman n has lied so much. |
RainbowSky (pasir_ris_beach)
Member
Username: pasir_ris_beach
Post Number: 1596
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2012 - 8:51 am: |
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why are the men like that??
I had a talk with my hubby and found out that he felt very bored in marriage plus daily quarrels burnt him out. He confessed that he felt very bored therefore he felt itchy to go out n find other woman for sex thrills.
Still he wants quiet times to do soul searching now n sort of regretted falling in love with her after many paid sex with her. now their affair still not ended and the other woman still wants to stay with him for money.. on the other hand, i decided no more lending him so much and wont agree to buy another car for him for now.
I realised that i gave him too much freedom(loaned a lot to him and bought two cars for him to use) till he felt very bored n itch to look for another woman.
So now i am bidding my time for him to return back my $$$ before i make an exit from the marriage. |
RainbowSky (pasir_ris_beach)
Member
Username: pasir_ris_beach
Post Number: 1597
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2012 - 8:55 am: |
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don't want the kids to learn to learn that
1) dad can dun provide for the family, can keep taking money from mummy
2) dad can flout the law, and mummy still take him back, he will still be forgiven even if he do wrong things
3) dad can treat the home as a hotel, and just come back and take the clothes, and not come home for 2-3 months, only come back to take clean laundry
4) dad can dun care about kids, even though they are very sick..with contagious disease, he don't bring them to see doctor.
5) dad can borrow Ah long who come to our place to splash paint and endangers the kids lives
for all the above reasons, I think I have the moral obligations to bring my kids up to be good & normal useful adults, not indulge in him, who merely treat the kids as a by product, and as a tool for him to go around borrowing money.
I only found out that he have been borrowing from people saying its for me & the children. but like i mentioned, the money were never seen.
Toto, seems that my hubby is almost the same as your hubby too.. so what shall i do? all i want for him is to return back my money which he took from me to spend on paid sex and the other woman. |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3263
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2012 - 1:42 pm: |
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I can only say I'm glad I dun hv kids. I dunno what my decision will be if I hv kids but after divorcing. The whole process has made mi even more clear that I should divorce him.
The guilt in him is only initial... After the guilt wear off, u will see the despicable side of man. In wrong, still dare to call mi names. Still dare to ask mi not to call her postitute. Wat other kind of woman will sleep with others' husband? The only reason y she's not a postitute is coz he's too stingy to pay her... Then she must be a slut to sleep with all kinda men ... Juz dat he's stupid enough to believe it's love.
Told mi he can't wait to get outta house, but when it comes to legal procedure, he kept dragging... Super pissed... Want a shelter and at the same time comfort of a postitute? No way I'm going to condone that. Can't wait for the procedure totaled effect so I can kick him outta hse!!! |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3264
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2012 - 1:42 pm: |
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I can only say I'm glad I dun hv kids. I dunno what my decision will be if I hv kids but after divorcing. The whole process has made mi even more clear that I should divorce him.
The guilt in him is only initial... After the guilt wear off, u will see the despicable side of man. In wrong, still dare to call mi names. Still dare to ask mi not to call her postitute. Wat other kind of woman will sleep with others' husband? The only reason y she's not a postitute is coz he's too stingy to pay her... Then she must be a slut to sleep with all kinda men ... Juz dat he's stupid enough to believe it's love.
Told mi he can't wait to get outta house, but when it comes to legal procedure, he kept dragging... Super pissed... Want a shelter and at the same time comfort of a postitute? No way I'm going to condone that. Can't wait for the procedure totaled effect so I can kick him outta hse!!! |
Givingup (givingup)
New member
Username: givingup
Post Number: 5
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2012 - 12:25 am: |
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yuki, same like u, my useless hubby oso v angry that i called the 3rd party a hooker...he was so affected by that that he threw tantrums at me! whats wrong wif these men? the itch get all into the head that they feel insulted that such terms are associated with their other woman????
today, i have decided that i shall proceed with divorce and will wait for an opportunity to break the news to him. meantime, i need to build up myself emotionally to stay firm and v firm abt it. and not to let his sugar coatings get the better of me.
is there any good and affordable lawyers to recommend? i dun feel like using the previous one i consulted. |
Givingup (givingup)
New member
Username: givingup
Post Number: 6
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2012 - 12:27 am: |
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hi iamlost, care to share how does the Find function on iphone works? but wun he noe that its some application he did not download? |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3265
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2012 - 12:23 pm: |
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Their ego made them feel like they r the only man in the hooker's life... But sorry, life sucks. If she can f**k u, she can f**k 1000 other men... It's not the 1st day she wld in a pub...
Be very sure this is wat u want... I nvr regret a single day coz since this divorce proceeding start, he nvr fail to make mi regret how come I nvr come to the decision sooner... Every things he does was so selfish and despicable.
Trust mi, ladies, u can do better without him!
I hv since moved on... Found a new love.. Who shower mi wif love and care and attention that I deserved. Y should I settle for 2nd best... ESP when he's not 2nd best but lousy to be specific. |
爱爱LOVELOVE (heeheesan)
Member
Username: heeheesan
Post Number: 949
Registered: 3-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2012 - 2:38 pm: |
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The man used their di*k to think rather than the brain.
For money matter, i think it is very unlikely and little percentage that they will return the money to us as they rather spend on their "小三”. |
RainbowSky (pasir_ris_beach)
Member
Username: pasir_ris_beach
Post Number: 1600
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2012 - 2:55 pm: |
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the married men who r in affairs are HOPELESS!!! |
Nicole (nicolenicole)
New member
Username: nicolenicole
Post Number: 10
Registered: 9-2011
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2012 - 3:18 am: |
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hi all
i finally found this thread again after my last posting. Like u gals..my hub has affairs with prc!!! I think they are not-clean women,...
Since my last post..I have filed for divorce. Now waiting to serve him. Like u all, I have a young child.
Not easy decision..I also cried..but I made up my mind.
Road ahead is not easy but I dont want my daughter to think that it is fine to tolerate such nonsense - she may grow up marrying an adulterer too...and I will be so sad.
Let's support each other!!!! |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3266
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2012 - 6:58 pm: |
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Hi Nicole
Gambatte!!! Once u made up yr mind, u can plan for yr path ahead.
And totally agreed dat these women r not clean. Mine is involved wif a Vietnamese postitute who he refused to acknowledged the fact dat this kinda easy women r basically sleeping around all the time. Everytime he comes back, I scare he spread his diseases to mi. I even refused to share the same toilet wif him. You can say I'm paranoid but why should I expose myself to any risk?? |
iamlost (iamlost)
New member
Username: iamlost
Post Number: 3
Registered: 9-2011
| | Posted on Friday, February 24, 2012 - 5:04 pm: |
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Hi Giving up,
I can setup in my hubby phone because he don't bother with the iphone apps etc cos my boys also download a lots of games/apps.
so long as his phone is setup with MobileMe, using his iphone id and password, location has to be turn on, you can track either from www.icloud.com or download a Find My Iphone.
It's not an apps icon but and mail account setup. Under setting, go to mail, then select Add Account, you will see mobileme.
Hope the above helps. |
Nicole (nicolenicole)
New member
Username: nicolenicole
Post Number: 13
Registered: 9-2011
| | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2012 - 4:51 pm: |
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Hi Yuki
Is your hub or ex hub having affairs with various prostitutes or just one?
I also feel the same like you. I am afraid to touch his things and share food. You never know what disease you can catch.
For my own protection, I am going to divorce him.
Are you going thru ancillary matters now? I am thinking about access.
If you have a daughter, you ask for supervised access because he is seeing unclean women!!! |
Ballet Rina (blur_ballerina)
New member
Username: blur_ballerina
Post Number: 5
Registered: 2-2012
| | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2012 - 5:00 pm: |
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Hi Tototan
Just read your post about your ex's prostitute gfs..
I suspect mine is also seeing prostitutes. He has been singing stupid chinese songs like- "there is a reason why I must leave you/..etc"..
I think he or the prostituite must be very sad that they have to leave each other when her work permit expires..
Do u know where your ex bring the prost? Can prost leave the geylang brothels to go out with clients? I am so confused. |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3267
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, February 26, 2012 - 2:31 am: |
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He was seeing a few until finally settle on a Vietnamese one who's also married. Dumb, right?
Yes, the prostitute can leave geylang... In fact, I've seen many Vietnamese, Chinese and Filipino looking for men at tanjong pagar and outram area... |
tototan (tototan)
Junior Member
Username: tototan
Post Number: 229
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 - 7:01 am: |
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Hi Ladies,
so sorry to see so many of us in the same predicament, with or without kids.
yuki,
its fortunate for you to have found the love of your life and move on, dun look back anymore and once you reach the state of indifference, you will not think of him at all.
givingup,
I like you, went through the same cycle 5 times! and my ex admitted that those were the time i found out. there were according to him many many more and he was flaunting to me that last time when he went outside to find one of them every single night, I dun even have a clue. to think that i was so gullible that while i was carrying his child, he could keep his dick his pants. you only have 1 kid, its better if you can focus on your kid and make her life better! my youngest son was only 13 months when he stop coming home. now i am glad that i leave him earlier, because youngest son dun even miss him as he was too young to understand.
rainbowsky,
you will be suprise that i am super broke, but i am still helping him to pay off the money he took from my fren. as my fren is also a mother, she also have her commitment, much as i wish not to pay, and its not my fault, i am obligated as my fren lent him the money on my account, I am paying her like $200 per month to make up the $4k her borrowed, and before this, I have cleared other 6-7 thousands worth of debt he owed in the past 1 year. I seriously dun think its advisable to wait for him to pay back, am not sure what your finances are like. for me, cutting lost and biting the bullet ahead was key. my family say i am stupid, but i the more i do, the more i feel empowered to face him and his family and when i do feel that i dun owe them a bit, they will not have a single hold against me nor the kids.
ballet rina,
there are illegal prostitutes and legal ones. legal ones can stay in SG long term like 1-2 years, during working hours, they have to stay in the brothel, any other time, they are free to roam anywhere. illegal ones are like tourists, they can be anywhere anytime, and therefore you see many in outram, tanjong pagar. my ex bring them to NICE places and be their tou guide,like sentosa, suntec, orchard, MBS, when 1 yr ago, i haven even stepped into MBS, steady bo..? and he didn't even bring the kids to sentosa.
ladies,
a few questions i have also asked myself, why did my ex still look for pros in the marraige? they have low self esteem, my ex was not earning as much as me, not contributing as much as me. every month i will sit him down or sms him what i paid for. they love to be treated like king and loves it when they can shower you with gifts and have a sweet supporting wife who always smile at them. however, when they dun bring home the bread, as a wife you will the right to feel angry, and if you dun say, its juz unhealthy, i opt for open talk, but he withdrew, into his fantasy world, ending up spending more money for variety andshort term thrills, and crawl back to me for passive care. after a while, it became a vicious cycle, they can get away with it once, they try their luck again and again. men move on fast, even on the surface, they regret, but they dun think as much as the women, they dun obsess themselves with the good old days, coz if they do, they will not even risk the lost ofmarriage and kids. simply, they put their needs above yours.
some say sex is an issue, i ask my ex frankly, he say yah he was tired on tapping on my shoulder, frequency is not there, i am always tired. he dun have a choice, but as a matter of fact, i did my best to improve our intimate lives. he admitted and acknowledge, but after getting use to all the various women, he know how EASY it was to get them, and how cheaply you can get them, he's hooked, he told his frens, he's not even bothered by sex at home, as there are many who wish to be at his service. Soit becomes an addiction plus they know many kakis who actually condone and cheer each other on their sexual expedition.
during the past half a year, he was staying with my ex MIL and ex SIL. he finally went into jail last month and prob out in July. My SIL came to visit me, and she was super irritated by him. she mentioned that sometimes he disappear for 3-4 days. then once, he came home with blister and itch on his body. my SIL also checked her computer history, realise he was googling at itch at his privates.then SIL juz asked me: Aren't you glad that he's no longer there? in my heart and head this time, I AM SINCERELY GLAD AND THANKFUL that he is no longer here!!!
press on ladies, we will see the light soon, even if its moving along solo, we will find joy in our little one. up to now, i dun even have enough time with them and my frens. |
clear path (margret)
Junior Member
Username: margret
Post Number: 162
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 - 10:56 am: |
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tototan, i really admire u. the courage u have to divorce him despite all the diffiuties. JIAYOU |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3268
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 - 4:58 pm: |
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I would have agreed that sex may not be there for awhile coz I had endometrosis and went thr' 2 operations and 2 hormone jabs. Thus, sex will be kinda difficult. But aren't husbands supposed to take care of their wives when they r sick? Instead, they take care of themselves by going to other women.
Furthermore, my illness was indirectly caused by him coz he wanted mi to abort our child. Because of him, I've so many illness but he took it as an excuse to go prostitution.
So, don't look back. Men will only take care of themselves and their women outside. Don't waste yr time thinking dat they will change coz they will never... And the longer u drag, the worst it is going to be for yr kids. |
Nicole (nicolenicole)
New member
Username: nicolenicole
Post Number: 15
Registered: 9-2011
| | Posted on Saturday, March 03, 2012 - 1:59 am: |
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I served that b**tard a few days ago but he is dragging the process. Kept asking me to re think and that he values the good old days.
Yes, Yuki, I agree with you. Is the sexual urge so important until he can go satisfy himself while the wife is ill?!
Frankly I find it difficult to accept a man who has tasted these thrills. Won't they miss these pros, even if they promise they will be "good" from now onwards? |
sha (suspicion)
New member
Username: suspicion
Post Number: 8
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Saturday, March 03, 2012 - 9:54 am: |
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did u have evidence against him? i feel if u have strong evidence, then he won't be able to drag much |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3269
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, March 03, 2012 - 12:52 pm: |
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If he really miss the good old days, he wun go prostitution le. Mine told mi he missed our honeymoon, the vacations we had, how we built our home fr zero but has he tot abt it when he go prostitution?
To mi, he may miss those days but he will also want his sexual adventure wif those cheap sluts. Else he wun be involved wif a married prostitute le. Y shld I put myself at risk when he's having his fun?
I dun wanna wait till I get some disease fr him and can't turn back the situation. |
Nicole (nicolenicole)
New member
Username: nicolenicole
Post Number: 18
Registered: 9-2011
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 07, 2012 - 8:01 pm: |
|
sha - evidence is strong. Why must men drag the process when they are the ones who want to be adventurous?
are u divorced?
what happens during mediation stage? does anyone know..?
yes yuki, I know what u mean. |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3270
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2012 - 6:04 pm: |
|
Thanks maryam but I really don't think giving money to cast some black magic will bring back yr love. Even if he's back to you, it's not his true feelings anymore. Furthermore, then wat the differences between us and those sluts out there then? If I want him back, I will want him to love me truly and not coz he can't see clearly. That's pathetic. |
new begining (bretrayed)
Junior Member
Username: bretrayed
Post Number: 122
Registered: 5-2008
| | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2012 - 6:13 pm: |
|
yuki, she herself is the scram. she is spaming all over the forum |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3271
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2012 - 6:25 pm: |
|
I tot so but I juz hope pple dun turn to her out of desperations. |
Chin Leng (chinleng)
Intermediate Member
Username: chinleng
Post Number: 3513
Registered: 2-2001
| | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2012 - 10:36 pm: |
|
Hi all,
We've removed her messages. Please alert us of any spamming when you see them and we'll gladly remove the messages. Thank you.
 |
sha (suspicion)
New member
Username: suspicion
Post Number: 9
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2012 - 11:14 pm: |
|
chin leng, that's very good. tks |
mikki (mikki_liew)
New member
Username: mikki_liew
Post Number: 3
Registered: 3-2012
| | Posted on Sunday, March 11, 2012 - 12:46 pm: |
|
nowsaday divorce is very common and it's no more a disgrace thing |
shearer (shearer)
Junior Member
Username: shearer
Post Number: 117
Registered: 6-2012
| | Posted on Thursday, March 28, 2013 - 5:21 am: |
|
may i also point out that other forums are also full of explicit accounts of how married wives and mothers are cheating behind their husbands too... go on, just Google for it. so, it takes two hands to clap. things happen for a reason. |
xian186 (xian186)
Member
Username: xian186
Post Number: 1526
Registered: 9-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, March 28, 2013 - 9:19 am: |
|
Hi mummies... So sad to see so many mummies experience almost the same problem.
I also have this problem too, just that my hubby still did not have the chance to go have sex with her (or maybe they had I don't know)and I had already caught him whatsapp her all day long.
He had admit to me that he no longer had feeling for me and accordingly to that woman, I did not give my husband the support he need, which is totally untrue.
We talk but it seems unfruitful. We sleep on the same bed but his heart is elsewhere.
I wanted him to stay but I can't bring back his heart. Should I let him go?
Even though he's not sexually attached to her (yet) but emotionally, he's totally gone.
We had a 3 years old daughter. The reason he wants to stay on is because of her. But my heart cannot take it that he's loving another woman. What should I do mummmies? |
clear path (margret)
Junior Member
Username: margret
Post Number: 185
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 03, 2013 - 12:14 pm: |
|
do what your heart tell you.
It very hurting to sleep beside someone who's heart is somewhere else. Especially there is no more feeling |
Taitai (taitai)
Junior Member
Username: taitai
Post Number: 353
Registered: 3-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 03, 2013 - 12:34 pm: |
|
Shearer, I disagree with you that it takes two hands to clap.
In my case, my HB told me I have done nothing wrong, from the beginning till now, I have done nothing wrong.
Just that men grow tired of the same women after some years. And that's a fact, let's face it.
My HB loves my kids dearly and vice versa. Hence, we stay under d same roof with no emotional attachment. |
clear path (margret)
Junior Member
Username: margret
Post Number: 186
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 03, 2013 - 12:43 pm: |
|
taitai, I think u can ignore shearer comment. He have being spamming the forum about BJ. I think he is just a trouble maker |
Taitai (taitai)
Junior Member
Username: taitai
Post Number: 354
Registered: 3-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 03, 2013 - 1:44 pm: |
|
Margret, so I see.
But then again, sometimes the problem just arised from one party. |
clear path (margret)
Junior Member
Username: margret
Post Number: 187
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 03, 2013 - 2:20 pm: |
|
taitai, I agreed.
if a man change of heart, no matter how much u u are doing, how much u have done, he will still go and look for the 3rd party. |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3276
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, April 05, 2013 - 12:38 am: |
|
When a man strayed... He either hv the courage to own his mistakes or he blamed it on the wife... Saying that it takes 2 hands to clap...
For those wif kids, u must think carefully... While the man lying next to u hv no feelings for u... But yr kids still hv feelings for him... Do handle wif care... Because the one bringing up the divorce may be perceived as the 'bad' guy by the kiddo... |
James K (glidentoo)
New member
Username: glidentoo
Post Number: 11
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Friday, April 05, 2013 - 10:17 am: |
|
Yuki, my case is the opposite of your's.
My wife committed adultery and want to divorce me under my "unreasonable behaviour" of playing computer games, bad temper (she is the one that is always doing the scolding and I am the one that is having bad temper?) and so on.
I had to get a PI to know that she had committed adultery and turn the table on her. Now we are divorcing based on her affair instead of my "unreasonable behaviours". She can even say I tell lies to her family and made her family turn against her when the PI report clearly shows the facts.
She now claims that it is all my fault that she went out to find another man. Her boyfriend even challenged me to say that because I am useless that is why he can win my wife. He even said under the women's charter he can even snatch me children away from me because my wife is a woman.
I wanted to smash him but refrained myself from doing so as if I do so, I will be viewed by the court as a person with a violent temper and hence a confirmed case of losing my children's care and control.
Now my concerns are my children. I am the one that always stayed at home to look after the children. Now by virtual of the women's charter, I might lose my children and my flat to her. |
mummy_darling (mummy_darling)
New member
Username: mummy_darling
Post Number: 58
Registered: 2-2013
| | Posted on Friday, April 05, 2013 - 10:30 am: |
|
Yuki, I agree with what u say. Guys have the guts to do it but no guts to admit it. Will just push everything to the wife and expect the wife to admit sth she did not do at all. Thank God that my son wasn't close to him at all and also doesn't want him too. Been trying hard to divert his attention somewhere else. |
tweety35 (pasir_ris_beach)
Member
Username: pasir_ris_beach
Post Number: 1678
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Friday, April 05, 2013 - 10:49 am: |
|
Yuki, i also agree with u. the husband is half-half admit his mistake and push the blame to me for his straying.. the truth is he has been unfaithful even before he knew me and prior to the end of his first and last affair with this bitch of blk 861/644 yishun ave 4, so as of now i dun have huge faith in reviving the relationship although he did reconciled with me, i gradually no longer trust him totally. Nor believe his claims that he did change for the better. She is truly evil n best liar. wonder where her conscience has gone. be beware of retribution. |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3277
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, April 05, 2013 - 3:36 pm: |
|
James, sorry to hear about that. Most of the time, when it involves children, it is always the hardest. Whether the children go to you or her, eventually their benefits are the top priority. Dun fight for the sake of fighting.
It is not confirmed that you will lose your children, as long as you can prove that you are the one taking care of your children and you are capable of taking care of them. I think you have equal chance of winning them, especially you have proof of her adultery. And you are right, controlling your temper is very important... you smash him is equal to losing your children's custody for sure.
Get advice from the lawyer may be better.
Divorce is always hardest when children's involved. Consider their needs as priority ba. Of course, if the marriage cannot be saved, at least control the damage. |
James K (glidentoo)
New member
Username: glidentoo
Post Number: 15
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Friday, April 05, 2013 - 3:55 pm: |
|
Hi Yuki,
I am fighting for the benefits of my children. From young, they were looked after by me. My wife is always out on her "Amway" business. Sometime to 3 - 6 am. Once 8am (now I am wondering if that is really for Amway or to meet her boyfriend).
But nevertheless, I am always the one by their side if needed be. I am the one that bring them to their vaccinations 90% of the time. I found the childcare centre for my daughter, but my wife has to make the registration as Singapore law states that it is for working mothers. However, every teachers meeting with parent, I would be the one attending, not her.
Based on Singapore court, if both are equal in taking care of the children and they are young, it will be given to the mother. With that, I lose half the battle already.
I am controlling the damage as much as I can. When the children are with me, I will encourage my daughter to talk to my wife over the phone. However, when it is her turn to look after the children, she will prohibit them from even talking to me. She had now brainwashed my daughter to call her boyfriend "Daddy"....
How much more of these must I take? |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3278
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 9:47 am: |
|
Hi James
But if her working hours are so odd, if you are able to prove that her working hours are not conducive for looking after children as compared to you, wouldn't you stand a higher chance? |
James K (glidentoo)
New member
Username: glidentoo
Post Number: 17
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 10:24 am: |
|
@Yuki. I had told my lawyer that. The lawyer said that might not be taken into consideration as she can can her working hours.
Therefore that is totally against me. |
janey (janey09)
Junior Member
Username: janey09
Post Number: 218
Registered: 3-2009
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 10:53 am: |
|
james, can u send me your email now again |
nikki (newlife2010)
New member
Username: newlife2010
Post Number: 24
Registered: 7-2010
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 10:58 am: |
|
James, my lawyer told me this. If u have any evidence that might help u, just present it. If she wan to lie, let her be. If she say she is working so irregularly, then get her to give it in writing, after that write in to the company. |
nikki (newlife2010)
New member
Username: newlife2010
Post Number: 25
Registered: 7-2010
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 10:59 am: |
|
if she is lying, her lies will be expose. I don't think the company wan to lie on her behalf |
James K (glidentoo)
New member
Username: glidentoo
Post Number: 19
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 11:04 am: |
|
Hi Nikki,
I do not keep evidence for her late nights. (When was the last time you keep records of your spouse's timing home?)
My neighbours, my previous tenant and my maid can provide some information on her late nights.
The company, AMWAY is a multi-level-marketing company. They will entice their members to "talk business talk" to others and they do not tell them when to go. So they do not keep records of individual "member"'s timing.
My Neighbours, my previous tenant and my maid are all willing to come up to provide affidavits, but my lawyer said the courts are not too interested in 3rd parties affidavits and since my children are young, there will most probably be a social welfare report that are to be ordered a few months down the road and I can present these to the social workers for the welfare reports. |
James K (glidentoo)
New member
Username: glidentoo
Post Number: 20
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 11:05 am: |
|
Hi Janey,
I had PMed you my email address. |
mummy_darling (mummy_darling)
New member
Username: mummy_darling
Post Number: 59
Registered: 2-2013
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 11:15 am: |
|
Why are marriage so fragile nowadays? And also very complicated when it comes to divorce. It takes very easy to get married but it takes a very long procedure and draggy when it comes to divorce too. Feels so sry for the kids as they are so innocent. Really very vexed and also dunno what to do with my second child.  |
nikki (newlife2010)
New member
Username: newlife2010
Post Number: 26
Registered: 7-2010
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 11:21 am: |
|
james, just highlight this in your court paper, let her do the explaining. I am advising u this is because, last time I encounter a lawyer, everything I bought up, she will press me down with a explanation. But in the end, my husband bought up many things against me, which he did even have prove, in the end, he paint a bad picture of me. Later, I was told my a close friend, some lawyers are lazy, they don't like to file all this in the court paper, they wan to get over this asap. |
James K (glidentoo)
New member
Username: glidentoo
Post Number: 22
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 11:52 am: |
|
So Nikki, what happened thereafter?
For the divorce part, my lawyer is definitely a very good one. It is the custody, care and control part which I am worried about.
She overthrow all the accusation by my wife against me and advised me correctly to led to a divorce based on her infidelity instead of my non-existence "unreasonable behaviour".
But for care and control of my children, a lot of information she said it is either not important or the court will not accept so many 3rd party evidences. (Shouldn't testimony be more reliable if it is provided by a 3rd party then a 1st party?) |
nikki (newlife2010)
New member
Username: newlife2010
Post Number: 27
Registered: 7-2010
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 12:07 pm: |
|
James K, he successfully able to get joint custody and weekend access to my child.
I think have to pro-active instead of re-active in the court case. Did u used any PI report to used against her or did your lawyer managed to use her reasoning to prove the evidence?
Any lawyer will be able to advice u to get a PI to get infidelity evidence. As with the PI report, they just need the report to file. Don't have to explain much. if u had use PI evidence, isn't it 3rd party evidence? then why not for custody.
What I see is get a lawyer who see your points and fight based on what u want, then like me regret in the future for not doing more. |
James K (glidentoo)
New member
Username: glidentoo
Post Number: 23
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 12:19 pm: |
|
Nikki,
It is both. She used her reasoning to prove that my wife's accusation is ridiculous and use the PI report against her coupled with the facts reasoning like "why is she cohabiting with a male partner who claimed to be her tenant when there are enough rooms in the matrimonial flat and the fact her partner's house is crowded"
For your case, I think weekend access to your husband might be quite fair as I understand that is the norm for husbands who did not get the care and control of the children.
She mentioned excessive affidavits from 3rd parties will serve to annoy the court. |
new begining (bretrayed)
Junior Member
Username: bretrayed
Post Number: 147
Registered: 5-2008
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 5:02 pm: |
|
James K, this is all for the future of your children, if it's reasonable, why would the court be annoyed. My good lawyer told me, to go to war u need a lot of ammunitions and for a lawyer to go to the court, she needs lots and lots of evidence and 3rd affidavits to win the case. If it's to prove to the court your points, it's not excessive. |
James K (glidentoo)
New member
Username: glidentoo
Post Number: 27
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 5:13 pm: |
|
Bretrayed, can you please email me your lawyer's contact at glidentoo@yahoo.com.sg?
I may want to change lawyer for custody.
Thank you. |
new begining (bretrayed)
Junior Member
Username: bretrayed
Post Number: 149
Registered: 5-2008
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 8:08 pm: |
|
James K, my lawyer is no more practising in Singapore, she have migrate to Canada. |
James K (glidentoo)
New member
Username: glidentoo
Post Number: 28
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Monday, April 08, 2013 - 8:31 pm: |
|
Thanks anyway. |
Jolyon (toblerone)
Junior Member
Username: toblerone
Post Number: 139
Registered: 6-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, April 11, 2013 - 9:00 pm: |
|
真的有必要离婚吗？
Divorce must really think twice. It may not be the only option.
I am offering my "second" last help for couple before going for divorce. I will do a marriage compatibility analysis (双方八字大卦合婚法) between husband and wife.
八字真的不合，或者，夫克妻、妻克夫，那么生活在一起，也是互相连累。However, who knows it may be a perfect couple match?! It is pitiful and heart-breaking to see couple (especially with children suffering) filing for seperation.
八字大卦合婚揭晓之后，再做决定也不迟。
Of course, no charge for those are about and really going to divorce. |
nikki (newlife2010)
New member
Username: newlife2010
Post Number: 28
Registered: 7-2010
| | Posted on Saturday, April 13, 2013 - 2:11 pm: |
|
what do u mean? if the bazi compatible then should stay on the marriage no matter what? |
J55 (j55)
Junior Member
Username: j55
Post Number: 383
Registered: 9-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, April 13, 2013 - 8:11 pm: |
|
Imagine telling a straying spouse "Pls dun leave the family....our bazi is very compatible...we are the perfect couple!!"????? |
mummy_darling (mummy_darling)
New member
Username: mummy_darling
Post Number: 63
Registered: 2-2013
| | Posted on Saturday, April 13, 2013 - 11:18 pm: |
|
Hi jolyon,
How about going through the bazi?
Thanks and regards,
Joanne |
Jolyon (toblerone)
Junior Member
Username: toblerone
Post Number: 146
Registered: 6-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, April 14, 2013 - 12:22 am: |
|
Dear nikki (newlife2010),
Let me explain.
如果，夫妇的八字和婚配真的非常合，又有孩子的话，可以考虑。如果，丈夫笨到把整只牛牵回家的话，真的是太过份了。这种男人要好好教训。看看丈夫犯的错严重性，能不能为孩子设想，容忍一切。
倘若，夫妇彼此八字和婚配合不来的话，又有孩子，也得要仔细考虑。真的很痛苦，没有办法原谅或接受丈夫犯的错，那么各走各的未尝不是坏事。
清官难断家务事 - When husband and wife quarrel, outsider (like me) unable to interfere. Probably, professional marriage counseling (some are paid to to do the job) may helps.
要经历离婚不是容易的事。我只能劝夫妇好好商量。我做为第三者，只能在命理方面提供小小意见。我从不收“黑心”钱，也没有得到利益。我至今相信，一人要是一头雾水又主张劝人离婚/堕胎恐怕会有报应。
若以上写得不合意，请原谅。
|
Jolyon (toblerone)
Junior Member
Username: toblerone
Post Number: 147
Registered: 6-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, April 14, 2013 - 12:26 am: |
|
Dear J55 (j55),
There are many considering factors besides bazi.
首先，你要明白每一个人的八字不一样。只要八字排出来，我就知道对方的性格以及个性。个人到底有没有烂桃花、性欲强不强、有没有滥交、八字都能看得出。
I have briefly explained in this post:
http://singaporemotherhood.com/cgi-bin/forumboard/show.cgi?tpc=5&post=17976708#POST17976708
如果，真的无可救药，优先要考虑的是孩子的成长过程和年龄，然后才作决定是否要离婚。如果没有孩子，离婚收场或许会双方能够找到解脱。
Case study 1
先生和太太八字吻合。太太有辅助先生的命格。只是一时的贪玩搞了女人，结果闹离婚。离婚之后，先生破产，太太拿了赡养费。后来，太太没有经济来源，孩子搓学（enter boys' home and got killed in the fight）. 妈妈过度伤心自杀了。
Case study 2
先生和太太八字非常吻合。只是先生糊涂搞了女人，之后夫妇离婚。先生另娶，组织了幸福家庭，儿子刚考完‘O’Level。那么，先生的前妻，至今孤独一人。先生的前妻八字注定有一段姻缘，也就很可惜没有了。
Of course, there are many case studies lah. I can't write out all mah. :-)
|
sha (suspicion)
New member
Username: suspicion
Post Number: 27
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Sunday, April 14, 2013 - 12:08 pm: |
|
this is really a joke. using coincidental to justify yourself. |
Jolyon (toblerone)
Junior Member
Username: toblerone
Post Number: 150
Registered: 6-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, April 14, 2013 - 7:38 pm: |
|
Dear sha (suspicion),
Do not get angry first.
你信则有，不信则无。
No 1. I do not have to convince everybody.
No 2. 你若要选择离婚，尽管去没有人阻止你。
|
sha (suspicion)
New member
Username: suspicion
Post Number: 29
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 10:14 am: |
|
I believe in mine own destiny.. Whether I wan a divorce I don't need a 3rd party to advice me of my future. I am in charge of my own future.
U are talking as if god give u special power and u are able to accurately read a person character and his future. Even the best feng shui master don't dare to claim that. |
sha (suspicion)
New member
Username: suspicion
Post Number: 30
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 10:21 am: |
|
Jolyon, sometimes to divorce or not is not just by looking at bazi, even if we wan to save the marriage, if the husband too engross over the other women, what we can do. Beg him to stay and frighten him with the 2 story u stated?
Also don't u think u are too extreme to frighten mummies here if divorce without consulting your bazi reading the consequence will be disaster? I know of many many cases where the mummies are happily divorce and the person who become worse is the husband because the other cheated all his money and he lost everything. |
tweety35 (pasir_ris_beach)
Member
Username: pasir_ris_beach
Post Number: 1679
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 10:33 am: |
|
sha has a point on the case for many cases where the mummies are happily divorced and the person who became worse is the husband.......... and other cheated all his money n he lost everything.
it did nearly happen in my case and in the end he wanted me to forgive n forget n reconcile for the son sake. in fact he did lost almost everything including the final present from his bitchy woman which was STD.. which was worse for his ego.. Nevermind despites all this, Justice does have a long arm. I wished he is struck real hard with HIV virus but it is this STD this time for him -enough for him to be serious n stop playing. i even went on to tell my close friends not to play with my husband if he ever tempted to ask them behind my back as he was infected last time. |
new begining (bretrayed)
Junior Member
Username: bretrayed
Post Number: 151
Registered: 5-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 11:01 am: |
|
maybe Joylyon can help to read his Bazi to see whether he will get STD. Ha ha ha.
If all future is in the bazi then we also no need to work, see doctor and just wait for it to happen.
Just joking, don't be offended |
Simple.gal (forgetfull)
New member
Username: forgetfull
Post Number: 39
Registered: 3-2010
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 11:16 am: |
|
yes, I feel you are overstaing things here. I am divorced but I didn't suffer in the 'extreme' state u wrote.
I feel u have over stated your 'power'. how many years u have been practicing 'Bazi reading', how many cases u have predicted and it come truth. I know u might be trying to help, but if u are not really competence, u might do more harm to mummies here then helping them. |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3279
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 2:24 pm: |
|
Juz to share my experience with this Bazi thingy... well... my ex husband's mother was also doing these Bazi thingy and people paid thousands of dollars to get their 'fortune' told... and I am quite sure she read our Bazi too... but we also ended up divorced... and I am better off with him... though my ex MIL warn or "cursed" me that I will be worst off... in my worst state of life without my ex...
Frankly... I dun give a shit.. You should do whatever is right with your life... it's what you want and not what the Bazi want.
Though I do believe that it may be my past life owe him de... so I pay back in this life... but in any case, I have paid off with my best years, and I would like to spend the rest of my years for myself and not paying off debts...
I am not saying here that you should divorce or not... but the decision on divorcing should lie on the feeling you have for your hubby... whether if it is still worthwhile to stay together...
For one, I am happy now... though I dun have a stable job... have to pay for the instalment for the house... but at least, my mind is clear and happy... I dun need to cry myself to sleep everynite... wondering which women's arm he's in... or will I get STD or AIDS coz of him... |
new begining (bretrayed)
Junior Member
Username: bretrayed
Post Number: 153
Registered: 5-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 3:03 pm: |
|
yuki, I agree with u.
since your ex mil, know those bazi thingy, she should have read both of yours before u got married. If really she able to predict 'fortune' then she would have rejected the wedding as she would know ultimately both of u would have end in divorce.
Also many times, those people will normally use scare tactics to force people to believed them, if not they warn misfortune will befall them. |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3280
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 3:11 pm: |
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LOL... I think if I never divorce him.. then misfortune will really befall mi lor... |
new begining (bretrayed)
Junior Member
Username: bretrayed
Post Number: 154
Registered: 5-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 3:22 pm: |
|
I think u are better than your ex-mil to be able to tell your 'fortune' as u have took the right step. |
Jolyon (toblerone)
Junior Member
Username: toblerone
Post Number: 159
Registered: 6-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 7:58 pm: |
|
Dear All,
I did apologised in this thread. and I do not why why it got deleted.
1. 我从来没有得到($)金钱利益($)，也没有得到好处。
2. 劝善不离婚也会给人说到一文不值。遭到恶毒口攻击真是可悲。
I have stopped posting in this thread，免得误会深。善哉、善哉.
If I have offended anybody, please forgive.
|
mummy_darling (mummy_darling)
New member
Username: mummy_darling
Post Number: 66
Registered: 2-2013
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 - 9:36 pm: |
|
Does anyone know of this lawyer name mr tng soon chye? |
Taitai (taitai)
Junior Member
Username: taitai
Post Number: 368
Registered: 3-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 17, 2013 - 1:49 pm: |
|
If our ba zi is so "gum", but my HB decided that he wants a new woman in his life to bring him happiness, what do you think I should be doing?
Clearly, he doesn't want me anymore. So do you think I should stick around just becuz our ba zi is huan he?
Or if my ba zi say that I will only married once to a bastard, then I must stay married to a bastard? Or else be lonely? So option is be miserable stay married, be lonely and happy get divorced? |
mummy_darling (mummy_darling)
New member
Username: mummy_darling
Post Number: 67
Registered: 2-2013
| | Posted on Thursday, April 18, 2013 - 3:44 pm: |
|
Does anyone ever encounter changing lawyers from legal aid? The one I got was a turn off. |
James K (glidentoo)
New member
Username: glidentoo
Post Number: 48
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Thursday, April 18, 2013 - 3:48 pm: |
|
What is wrong with the one from legal aid? Keep asking you to go for settlement? Same story with the lawyers outside. |
mummy_darling (mummy_darling)
New member
Username: mummy_darling
Post Number: 69
Registered: 2-2013
| | Posted on Thursday, April 18, 2013 - 4:00 pm: |
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Misery!!!!!! Keep changing my appointment. Agreed on a specific appointment yet tell me last minute that he can't meet me and operate only 2 hours per day. Expect me what? Wait and wait and wait?? The receptionist even worst. |
Taitai (taitai)
Junior Member
Username: taitai
Post Number: 370
Registered: 3-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, April 18, 2013 - 5:57 pm: |
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I heard a Ms Wong from this place is really good. Have you tried?
Singapore Divorce Lawyer
46 Tras Street
Singapore
078985
Call Elin: 6225 0271
Email: elin@sgdivorcelawyer.com |
mummy_darling (mummy_darling)
New member
Username: mummy_darling
Post Number: 71
Registered: 2-2013
| | Posted on Thursday, April 18, 2013 - 6:34 pm: |
|
Hi taitai,
No I have not tried. But is she ex? Cos I'm scared that she is very ex.. |
Taitai (taitai)
Junior Member
Username: taitai
Post Number: 372
Registered: 3-2007
| | Posted on Friday, April 19, 2013 - 11:59 am: |
|
No, I have not. But why not you call to ask?
Also, I heard from friends who went through divorce that judge tend to "favour" experienced, good divorce lawyers, since they present orderly documents and not waste/drag time unnecessarily.
As the judge has tons of people to see each day, they tend to be impatient. I have witnessed a "cowboy" lawyer thrown out of court by a judge, for being "stupid" ... he has no relevant/supporting evidence, and talking through his nose, fighting very hard for his client on no basis. He just wanna fight for the sake of fighting, so the judge ask him to leave. Do his homework, and schedule another court date 3 months down the road. |
yuki (yuki_ko)
Intermediate Member
Username: yuki_ko
Post Number: 3281
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, April 19, 2013 - 12:50 pm: |
|
Ya... you are right... my ex's lawyer really sucky... everything dunno... gotta check with my lawyer... dunno the procedures and everything...
Some "divorce" laywer are really juz know prepare paper work for u to sign when everything has been agreed on... but when come to fight for the case... knows nothing de...
My lawyer paints mi a realistic picture of what to expect at least... And wun waste time on unnecessary affadvits so as to save money. |
mummy_darling (mummy_darling)
New member
Username: mummy_darling
Post Number: 72
Registered: 2-2013
| | Posted on Friday, April 19, 2013 - 6:24 pm: |
|
Hmmm.. Ya I know.. That's why I dunno whether should I still wait for the legal aid or go for the private one? |
clear path (margret)
Junior Member
Username: margret
Post Number: 190
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, April 21, 2013 - 7:45 pm: |
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if u have the means, better to get a good private one. I heard sometimes those legal aid one are busy, and they will delay and delay. Also the commitment are not as good as private one |
Matters Of The Heart 
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