| Author |
Message |
    
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 740
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 03, 2010 - 11:25 am: | 
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Ellebaby,
Did u try calling Alice again? Maybe u should call Alice to let know u still waiting. |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 181
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 03, 2010 - 4:00 pm: |
|
BlesswBB, baby chair from Ikea only $25. The traditional cane one is quite ex nowadays. YOu 'poton jalan' from Janella/Elle. haha
Oh ya, I should get the cup with handles like u suggested. I didn't think it's for young baby but my baby's hands are still quite small.
For BK trip, u sure your DH will let you go since you have to ask him for permission, some more shopping and massage. haha
Dream, u have to get your husband to help you more.
Yuli, now that baby has teeth, you have to take care and start brushing her teeth?? |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 946
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 03, 2010 - 10:25 pm: |
|
Oh no just lost my post! My bb has discovered his saliva today. He is enjoying making noises but how do I stop him from playing with his saliva?
I haven't bought a high chair yet. My bb can't seat yet. Wondering whether can feed him on bumbo seat but he is moving so much. This week, he has also mastered flipping over and I can't force him to do tummy time now! He can roll from one place to another one very quickly. Must really be careful and can't put him on our bed anymore. It is amazing how fast bb progress from one day to another.
Iwantitvmuch
yep, trying to get my hubby to do more! |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 183
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 03, 2010 - 11:16 pm: |
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dream, I'm sure your bb can seat himself. My baby can't sit herself but we put her on the Ikea high chair and Ikea sell this long cushion which can be used to stuff the extra space on the high chair. So, my mother in law has been feeding her on that.
My German boss is also recommending the high chair from mothercare which sells $500 plus. he said that it's safer and adjustable so that baby can use till they r older. Safer cos if the baby pushes him/herself from the table, the chair would not overturn.
Today, one of the HR manager congratulated me on my adopted baby. Then, he said another of her colleague also adopted a 2nd baby. I think he's filipino. I'm wondering how come they can find Singapore babies so easily. |
Elizabeth (natelize)
New member
Username: natelize
Post Number: 96
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 5:42 am: |
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Hi everyone,
I'm back for a while...I have a little girl that we adopted 5 years ago..boy how time flies.
Well my question here is i'm thinking of doing it again, however i would like to adopt a toddler this time..whats everyones thoughts on this
thanks |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 947
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 6:56 am: |
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Iwantitvmuch,
thanks for advice. The brand that your boss refers to is stokke if I am not wrong. It is really nice but the price is definitely on the high side! But then you can use the chair until the kids grow up as it is adjustable. I think I will Just go for Ikea or buy those chairs that can fit into normal chair.
Yesterday he tried brown rice and he loved it. What else have you introduced to your girl. I have also introduced banana. Mashed it and mix it with White rice cereal. Thanks to share any tip. Otherwise, went to ntuc fair price and bought quite a few organic jars as it was on sale. Wondering whether it is good to give bb jar. Although they say no preservative, wondering how they keep it fresh and whether it is better for bb to eat fresh food. But then, I guess everything in moderation should be good. I think I will just mix organic and non organic food.
Yuli and blesswbb and renu
wondering whether you can share with us their daily meals. Wondering how much solid can they eat? Your kids are at stage 2 or 3? Any easy recipe to share? |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 948
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 7:42 am: |
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Hi Elizabeth,
I think it is great that you are looking to adopt a second one. You will have to be very patient with a toddler as there will be some attachment issues. But I am sure with your love, toddler would be able to adjust quickly especially when there is another child. |
Mummyportia (mummyportia)
New member
Username: mummyportia
Post Number: 1
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 8:42 am: |
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Hi everyone,
I've adopted a baby boy 5 mths ago and he's just turned 10 mths old over the wkend. Have been reading your thread in the past months and so touched by all your stories. U gals kept me going n made me realise I'm not alone. Only had the guts to join in now when the thread is revived.
Yuli, Blesswbaby & iwantitvmuch,
U've been a real inspiration with yr sharing ... tks so much!! |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 184
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 11:30 am: |
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wow, new comer! we haven't had new comer for so loonng.  And the sole purpose of this thread is to help one another. Mummyportia, I'm glad you have found me inspiring.<blushing>  hee hee. I'm v encouraged.
Like me, you had a baby for 5 months. I'm sure you are enjoying him. Please continue to tune in to our thread.
Dream, my MIL mixed the milk powder w baby rice. No wonder, baby likes it so much. Actually,it shld be mixed with milk(liquid). So, when I fed her the puree from the jar, she doesn't like it. But we still try to feed her. I think we will mix the puree with the baby rice next. Banana is a good idea. I will try that this weekend.
Pumpkin is another option, after steaming. Remember any fruits which are very bright in colours are 'brain food', eg sweet potatoes, taro, etc. So, try to incorporate them in the diet. The other day, a friend was telling me that Omega3 is very good for baby. She asked me squeeze the Omega3 oil from the capsules into the milk. She said her friend's kid is v smart.
But I'm afraid cos it's oil and I'm not sure if baby can digest. If you want to try, please get the high grade of Omega 3.
Elizabeth,welcome back. A friend adopted a 3 yr old toddler. The parents who gave him up were expecting a new born. It's very weird why they want to give him up. But anyway, the kid never for once asked to go home to his biological parents. I think he wasn't loved. Now, he is so happy in his new home and attached to the new family immediately. If you have the opportunity to adopt a toddler, it will be good. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 741
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 3:31 pm: |
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Elizabeth,
Welcome back. I hoping to adopt a toddler for my 2nd too...once they know you love him they will be very attached to you.
Mummypotia,
Welcome to our thread. I'm glad i'm one of them to inspire you :P
iwantitvmuch,
ya lor...that's y i say i'm day dreaming...but if u ladies really going to organise i will beg him to let me go...hahaha
I know Ikea bb chair quite cheap but my hubby think is not necessary...then since Yuli offer it free quickly grab it before he says no again haha. Will be going Yuli's place this weekend to collect and also taking the opportunity to let her girl and my girl have fun together.
Since Janella/Ellebaby will still be too young for it i use it 1st lah can pass to them when their bb is ready to use.
Better not give Omega3 oil...they are still too young for it. Wait till she is 1yr old then it will be safe. I will be starting fish oil when she turns 1.
dream,
i have been cooking porriadge with different veges using ikan billis stock. Need to change their menu every 3 days...now my girl is starting to choose food. I tried giving mash pumpkin...she doesnt like the taste. |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 949
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 6:26 pm: |
|
Mummypotia
welcome to the thread and please don't be shy with us! You can give us lots of advice as your bb is older.
Iwantitvmuch
not sure which cereal you give but mine only need to add water. Thanks for tip. Never buy pumpkin though as don't like it.
Blesswbb
your hubby sounds like mine! |
SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05)
New member
Username: sweetcl05
Post Number: 99
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 8:08 pm: |
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Hi ladies,
I'm back. Miss me?
Elle, remember to call Alice. Get some updates from her to see if there's any babies?
Blesswbaby, haha.. yes, you're right... since janella and Elle not using it in the meantime, u can grab it first....haha... Yuli, if you have something for my dd, I also want.. (hehe... I very thick skin hor) :P
Elizabeth & Mummypotia,
welcome to the thread! |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 950
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 8:41 pm: |
|
Sweetcl
sure, miss you! Where have you been?
How is your little one? |
Mummyportia (mummyportia)
New member
Username: mummyportia
Post Number: 2
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 11:58 pm: |
|
Hi ladies,
thks for having me. Didn't realise my boy is 1 of the oldest in the thread as time has really flown us by in the busyness of enjoying and nursing my precious. Had gone to Alice last year as my first stop but only got my dd from Joyful. It was love at 1st sight n I'd never looked back since after that magical moment. Still mersmerised every day as i cuddle him to sleep. It was tough being mummy overnight esp when we had to play catch-up since my dd had been confined to a sarong at the nanny's home, so he only began to crawl steadily in the last 2 days. Gd thing he's a drinker and a fast learner, in fact he surprised me by teething around 6 mths, like Dream's dd. And now he's got about 7 teeth at 10 mths! Still waiting for the final court hearing, which will be tmr. Hope to hear from lawyer soon... |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 951
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Friday, March 05, 2010 - 7:54 am: |
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Mummyportia,
great to have you with us and you must be excited about today's final court hearing. Keep us updated!
Iwantitvmuch
I am thinking of you too today! Hearing in court for dd, right? Is that the final hearing too? |
SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05)
New member
Username: sweetcl05
Post Number: 100
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Friday, March 05, 2010 - 10:03 am: |
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Hi Dream,
I've been busy with my work, have to cover my colleague job as she's on leave for few days... so tiring... My dd is better, I think is about 90% recover but sometimes I can hear her breathing like there's still some phlegm at her throat.
Mummyportia, All the best for your hearing today.
I also have the same memorable moment when I first saw my dd, it's like love at first sight. It's really indescribable.
Iwantitvmuch,
Hearing in court for your dd today? Do we need to go for the hearing? All the best to you too.... |
yuli (yuli)
Junior Member
Username: yuli
Post Number: 276
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Friday, March 05, 2010 - 10:36 am: |
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Mummyportia - welcome!
Elizabeth - I think it's great you are planning to adopt a toddler!
Sweeclo - yes, I have stuff to pass to you if you want. She has outgrown that dress that you like (the one u commented on my FB, the navy blue with flowers). I send to you? PM me your address or you can come pick up if you like. |
SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05)
Junior Member
Username: sweetcl05
Post Number: 101
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Friday, March 05, 2010 - 10:43 am: |
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Yuli - wow so nice of you, thanks in advance... I'll pick it up at your place so I can bring my dd there to meet up with your dd. PM me your address and contact and let me knw when u are free.
Blesswbb, when you gg to Yuli's place? |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 742
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 05, 2010 - 2:57 pm: |
|
sweetcl05,
i will be going on Sat around 2pm. Want to join me? Think Yuli has the tummy mat too...yr girl will need that now. |
SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05)
Junior Member
Username: sweetcl05
Post Number: 102
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Friday, March 05, 2010 - 6:11 pm: |
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Blesswbb,
Ok, I'll see you there. You still have my contact? |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 952
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Friday, March 05, 2010 - 6:52 pm: |
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So fun, I wish I could join you girls! |
Mummyportia (mummyportia)
New member
Username: mummyportia
Post Number: 3
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Friday, March 05, 2010 - 10:34 pm: |
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dream
haha me too , wishing I can go n look at all the girls' stuff, n also take my dd to meet all u girls n your babies, but my boy is super active and sociable now, so afraid he'll wear you out with his energy (almost like an energizer rabbit!) n freak all the baby girls out.
Sweetcl05
No we don't have to go for the court hearing, the lawyer shld send u letters to update progress.
Yuli
So glad u've seen through the paperwork... u've come a long way! my hero hehe.
Iwantitvmuch
realised u have joined TAFNET. How was it? I'm contemplating joining too, do they meet up regularly?
Babylove
Is your son 10 mths old too? Can he stand up on his own?
ellebaby
Do keep us updated. It should be a divine appointment where u will know instantly if the baby is meant 4 u, u will feel tremendous peace in your heart. |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 953
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Friday, March 05, 2010 - 10:50 pm: |
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Mummyportia,
with your boy, our group now has 4 boys and 4 girls. It will really be fun when all the kids can play together. My boy is 6 months now and just started on solid. Any easy recipe to share? |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 185
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, March 06, 2010 - 10:25 pm: |
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Dream, I didn't hear from Legal on the hearing. I said a short prayer and hope that everything is okay. It's the birthday of my hubby yesterday. It will be really meaningful.
Mummyportia, our court hearings were on the same day. Yesterday! I joined TAFNET but haven't got time to join them for anything but the program is quite interesting. U can PM me your email and I can send the program to you when they have talks.
Sweet, BlesswBB, aiya, I would have joined you all if I saw the postings earlier. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 743
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, March 06, 2010 - 11:57 pm: |
|
iwantitvmuch,
Today is very eventful...i was like rushing to dream's place to pass her things and managed to have some time at her place for a chat and den rushing down to Yuli's place to collect the bb chair and let both girls spent their time together fighting for toys...phew...wat a day for me...but i'm glad to be able to catch up with dream and yuli again today.
Sweetcl got to go somewhere so went there earlier...we didn't meet up in the end. |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 954
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, March 07, 2010 - 12:31 am: |
|
Blesswbb,
thanks again for coming over and glad that you managed to catch yuli as well. I guess I am too talkative!
Can't wait to meet you all of you again! |
babylove80 (babylove80)
Junior Member
Username: babylove80
Post Number: 138
Registered: 5-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, March 07, 2010 - 6:39 am: |
|
HIIII LADIESSSS!!!!
Missed posting on the forum, so since I could not sleep, I thought I'd come say hi. Welcome to the new members. Our group is ever expanding. Completed the MCYS interview on Monday, now the waiting game begins. I really want to get everything settle before bb turns 1. Also, I am planning on going part-time (i.e 3 day work week). Got the OK from Director, now just need to finalise a few minor details. I would probably start next month.
Mummyportia,
I read your posts, and I can relate to the sarong bit. During the 4 months that my bb was in Malaysia, he was always put into the sarong cradle to sleep. He could sleep long hours as they had the motor to rock the cradle.But as soon as we stop the rocking, he would wake up. And whenever I tried to pass the nanny someting for him to play with, she would just put it in the drawer as she felt that he as getting enough stimulation. Every week I prayed for him to come back to us, so that we can look after him, and finally after the TOUCH interview, we brought him home. We never used the cloth cradle again! That was when he turned 7 months. He only really started commando crawling 2-3 weeks ago. He has not tried to stand up as yet. I have enrolled him in Gymboree to encourage his development. And I think when he saw the other bubs crawling, it must have clicked or something .
Elle,
I realise that you haven't been with us as often as before. When i read your post, I was not even judging you. I could understand how you were feeling. I hope you are feeling better. If it makes any sense, seeing a baby does not mean that you will choose him/her. If we don't choose him/her, there will be another adoptive parents who will choose him/her. I don't know if I shared with you this before. When I went over to JB with my agent, there was my bb and a bb girl.My hubby wanted the lil girl, but when I held her, I felt something was not quite right. I was unsure, but at the same time I was telling myself that I should not be picky or choosy. But when I held my bb, I was still unsure, but I felt more in love with him. Although agent gave us 1 week to decide, we took the time to think, and even went back to see both babies. Finally we decided on our bb. But my guilt for not choosing the lil girl knawed at me, till I heard that someone had adopted her.
When we brought him back to Singapore, he was 3 weeks 2 weeks old and was below the 50th percentile for weight and head circumference. Currently, he is within the 50th-75th percentile. I think we just need to take the leap of faith when it feels right. With our love, care and influence, we can nuture them to the best of their potential. Do let us know the good news when ur ready.
Yuli,
I started to laugh when I read your post about how you let ur bb cry while asked ur family members if it was her tooth coming out. That's a moment, ingrained in your heart forever. |
Mummyportia (mummyportia)
New member
Username: mummyportia
Post Number: 4
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Sunday, March 07, 2010 - 9:21 pm: |
|
Dream
Thought I posted yesterday about the recipes I had started my boy on but it seemed to have disappeared ...so in short, here's a summed up version :- boring but helpful so far. Had followed my family dr's adv, when my boy developed lots of phlegm 2 mths ago n had probs clearing it, to follow an infant's dietary chart to build immunity n avoid potential food allergies ie, to start with Stage 1: plain congee for a week once my boy started solids, n alternate it with congee + pureed carrot, or pumpkin, sweet potato, minced pork, apple, asparagus. Eg day 1 : plain congee, Day 2 congee w carrot, Day 3 plain congee, Day 4 congee w apple, etc. No processed food, additives, fish, wheat products or nuts until much later which will be stage 2.
babylove80
Yay... so happy 4 u to have come thru this faith-based journey!! Funny but I can identify with u on every count, like how my boy is playing catch up himself, when he sees other bubs crawling or walking in the church nursery. So even tho I had originally thought of checking out Gymboree, I've decided to put it on hold as my boy is showing speedy progress, esp in the last mth. Just remembered how when I 1st brought him home, his repressed self seemed to pop up instantly when he tried to lift himself up and down the window grilles every morning on waking up! Now at 10 mths, he's eager to stand up by supporting himself with any person, chair or table around. I'm focusing on getting him to practise his walk daily. The PT work will certainly help. Like I'm currently on a 4-day work week that allows me to spend more full days with him. It's amazing but like what my dr said, once babies hit 9 mths old, they will be more cognizant of who their parents n caregivers are, and will show their clear preference for the one who spends longer time with him or her. I also had the exact experience of guilt on having to choose bet my son n another bb girl. Until now, I still wonder how the other girl is faring even tho I knew she had been adopted.
Iwantitvmuch
Thx so much. My email is cchow9404@yahoo.com. Don't worry, the legal stuff is in good hands, the MCYS social wker told us that most of it is for formality only. My lawyer even cc'd us a letter from MCYS after they came for a final home visit that indicated their high recommendation. I'm excited 4 u n can't wait to celeb like Yuli keke. Funny how most of u girls have links to a banking career, my husb is in the same line too |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 955
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, March 07, 2010 - 10:53 pm: |
|
Mummyportia
thanks for sharing the meal plan for stage 1. Somehow I can't recall how I did it for my elder daughter! The only think I remember us that she turned orange as we gave her too many baby jars which contained carrots! Is your boy' s phlegm better? Does it make him cough? Did the doctor have to suck the phlegm?
Otherwise, seems like you and babylove have lots of things in common. |
ellebaby (ellebaby)
New member
Username: ellebaby
Post Number: 18
Registered: 12-2009
| | Posted on Monday, March 08, 2010 - 1:41 pm: |
|
welcome mummyportia ! welcome back elizabeth ! eating my lunch and reading this forum now.
babylove, miss me right on your working part-time, so happy for your decision babylove. You have a good company and director to allow you to go part-time. You will be able to spend more time with bb. My work does not allow me to work part-time so I am doing my best to clear as much for a logical stop.
i m feeling better now. The little girl has been adopted so I felt also better. I do feel restless as the wait sometimes drive me nuts ! I am glad work (alots) is keeping me very occupied so I do not think nosense. Sigh but the work is drowing me. thx for sharing your stories babylove, mummyportia.
blessbb n sweetcl, I have contacted Alice so she know I am still waiting. I hope to share good news to all soon. Keeping fingers and toes cross and praying I will bring my little girl home soon.
iwantivmuch and mummyportia - how's the court hearing ? it is awesome to know process will be over soon. Keep us updated.
sweetcl, how are you doing ? hope bb is better now.
haha, iwantivmuch, ur malay bagus arh ! it's ok lah so when my bb comes, I will welcome from anyone who has anything usable to pass my bb
k, back to my work now. hugs to all. |
Janella (janella)
New member
Username: janella
Post Number: 69
Registered: 7-2009
| | Posted on Monday, March 08, 2010 - 1:59 pm: |
|
Hi ladies
Its been a long long time. I've been up to my neck with work that's why I've not been able to log on.
I'm officially on the waiting list for a baby and it has been 3 weeks but still no news. Compared to earlier on when I had the major jitters, this time I just can't wait to hold a baby in my arms!
For those who are waiting to adopt or waiting to adopt a second one, someone in TAFNET adopted two babies from Project Cherub. This is a local organisation. I'm thinking of giving them a call as well.If you are interested, I'll give you the number.
Yuli
Thanks so much for offering me some of your baby things. But I really don't know when my baby is going to arrive and whether it's going to be a boy or girl. You are really very kind!
Babylove
I liked your message to Elle. Somebody in TAFNET mentioned that we have to be prepared for hits and misses and not feel guilty about it. It's all about chemistry.Hooray that you're going part-time! Now you will have more time for your baby!
BlessBB, Elizabeth
It's great that you're waiting to adopt a second one.
Dream
Wow!I can't believe that your baby is already 6 months! Time really flies!
Ivantitvmuch
Hello to you too! I'm following closely your tips on high chairs. Will be useful when my turn comes.
Mummyportia
A warm welcome to you! |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 186
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Monday, March 08, 2010 - 2:59 pm: |
|
babylove, I'm so happy that you can go part time!!! |
Dodo (dodo789)
Member
Username: dodo789
Post Number: 534
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Monday, March 08, 2010 - 4:50 pm: |
|
hi all,
i have some question to ask about the legal fee for adoption.
My friend is a single mum but recently she just got married (not with the child natural father). This child is less then 1 year old.
They wanted to change the child surname to her husband and also the birth cert to insert her husband name.
For the lawyer what are the kind of things they charges?
Stamp fee
MCYS
and what desperment(sorry i spell wrongly but it's something like this. What is this thing) |
Hapimint (hapimint)
New member
Username: hapimint
Post Number: 1
Registered: 3-2010
| | Posted on Monday, March 08, 2010 - 4:56 pm: |
|
Saw the post title and find it so interesting... Reminds me of the old times...
The first baby that my mother helped to bring in for adoption was nearly 15 years ago.... Now looking back, all the children have grown up.
But the sad thing is that most of the adoptive parents do not like to keep in contact with us. Probably because they are afraid that the child will know the truth.
Do you ladies think that it is okay for the child to know? |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 187
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Monday, March 08, 2010 - 9:56 pm: |
|
Hi Dodo, I don't have information about this. If u r keen to know, I can help you to find out from my lawyer legal assistant.
Hapimint, we are encouraged to reveal the truth to our child. Is your mom still in this line?? We are very close to the agent whom we received our babies from. |
SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05)
Junior Member
Username: sweetcl05
Post Number: 103
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Monday, March 08, 2010 - 10:30 pm: |
|
Hi Hapimint,
Welcome!
As for me I don't mind telling the truth to my dd cos sooner or later the child will know the truth. It's better to let the child know earlier than later cos it's like building up bricks and when the child got older, when he/she found out by him/herself it's like a big blast hitting onto her.... it's a big impact.
I find it's very helpful that you can go to Touch disclosure talk to hear more about the experience of the adoptive parents, how they disclosed to their child/children. Some of their experience very interesting.
I'm quite happy that we've a groupies that all mummies and mum-to-be encourage each others and shares the joy, sorrow and experience in taking care of our babies. And I greatly appreciate the ladies out there (esp. to babylove, blesswbb, Yuli, Iwantitvmuch, dream, elle, janella)
Times really flies very fast... The first time when I started reading this thread, it's encourage me a lot. Initially, I've lots of doubts, I'm afraid that others peoples views. But after reading experiences from the ladies I decided to go ahead to my plan. Now, I'm a happy mum, the moment when I first saw my dd, she's so tiny and her smile melts me and DH's hearts. Now, she's 3mth+
Actually I intends to disclose to her when she's 7/8mths... haha... am I a "kaisu" mum. I intend to tell her in cartoon stories way, etc How Tarzan being adopted...
** Sorry I've wrote alot!! |
SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05)
Junior Member
Username: sweetcl05
Post Number: 104
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Monday, March 08, 2010 - 10:40 pm: |
|
Babylove,
So happy for you, you can have more times with your dd... You got a good boss! Don't thing my boss allows me to work part-time.
Elle,
I'm fine,Thanks. Only abit tired cos my company don't allow me to take in a go for a month adoption leave, I only can take 2 days in a week. Initially was really very tiring but now abit used to it. Luckily, she woke up 2x... recently she woke up once. She slept for 10hrs past 2 days and yest 9hrs... Think she knows that mummy and daddy are tired... haha...
My dd has recovered but she's going for her 2nd jab soon. Poor girl, suffer again...
Hope to hear good news from you! I've reserved some of my dd's stuff for you too
Yuli,
Thanks for your stuff. Greatly appreciate!
Janella, Hope to hear good news from you too! |
Mummyportia (mummyportia)
New member
Username: mummyportia
Post Number: 5
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Monday, March 08, 2010 - 11:06 pm: |
|
SWEETCL05
U r so right about the Touch disclosure workshop. I found it v inspiring n informative, which spurred me on to buy the disclosure story bks n call up the agencies ...can't wait to read the bks to my son. But u really made me laugh about Tarzan's adoption...haha, I forgot ... was he adopted by a monkey? Thought of how I tried to tell stories to my son when he turned 8 mths but he wasn't v keen leh, only wanted to expt opening n closing the books n ripping off the pgs!!
Yuli, Blesswbb, iwantitvmuch, dream, elle n janella
Thx 4 keeping me in the loop, it means a lot to me, as I had gone thru the whole works - countless gyns, failed IVF's, depression, chinese sinseh, questioning, n I'm turning 38... Was spending my free time reading thru the archives for this thread, and fitting in the jigsaw about how each of u have come this way. I discovered how I could have saved so much time n been encouraged if I had known of this thread earlier, rather than searching and plodding my way through in uncertainty as I started my adoption journey - HSR, registering with Project Cherub, TP family svc, the various agencies etc. Anyway, looking at my son tdy juz made me smile for the chance to be a mum
Blesswbb
Spend last nite crying both tears of sadness n joy on reading your blog ...m so tickled by all yr baby videos, u r such a funny mum, mavis is juz so lucky!!
Dream
My boy still has intermittent phlegm, but I've decided 2 go natural n let him heal on his own, by bringing him out into the sun, making him sleep without a/c, sticking to vitamins n warm water, instead of going 4 a 3rd round of medication. Gd thing he didn't have to his phlegm sucked out. Can't wait 2 see yr boy someday!! |
Janella (janella)
New member
Username: janella
Post Number: 70
Registered: 7-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 09, 2010 - 12:17 pm: |
|
Hello Hapimint
As SweetCL05,iwantitvmuch and Mummyportia have mentioned, it is important to disclose early to the child.
Only after attending the disclosure workshop, did I realise how important it is.I plan to tell the child the moment he arrives, starting off with bedtime stories about his birth.
Mummyportia
I'm glad you found this forum.It is never too late. I find this forum very helpful as well. Right now, I've difficulty keeping up with all the tips you ladies share about your babies since I don't have a baby myself yet.
But I intend to pour through all the information again once baby arrives.
Elle
Looks like we are both in this waiting game.
SweetCL05
I definitely hope to give you all some good news soon. |
Mummyportia (mummyportia)
New member
Username: mummyportia
Post Number: 6
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 10, 2010 - 9:08 am: |
|
Hi ladies
Can i join yr FB group? I've created a gmail a/c just for this purpose n wld like to keep some of our sharing pte. |
SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05)
Junior Member
Username: sweetcl05
Post Number: 105
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 10, 2010 - 10:15 am: |
|
Hi Ladies,
Recently my dd drinking milk bad habit comes back again. sigh! Sometimes, she drink halfway or when almost finish, she'll twist and turn and don't want to drink. I'm not sure it's the colic come back again? Can we always give her the colic medicine? It's good for her??
I was quite angry with my MIL, after my dd finished her milk, she hit on her stomach!!! saying she wants to check whether she got "WIND". It's not the way to do so right??!!! My dd just finished drinking her milk, how can she do so? she shld have do so before drinking milk.
And I also found that she reduce the water when milking milk for my dd... instead of giving her 4oz water + 2 scoops of milk powder, she go and give her less water + 2 scoops of milk powder... OMG! I don't knw how to do...
Old ppl very sensitive, when I give comments, she will said I'm picky in this and that... I'm really very lost, I'm so worried with my dd  |
Mummyportia (mummyportia)
New member
Username: mummyportia
Post Number: 7
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 10, 2010 - 11:22 am: |
|
SWEETCL05
In my opinion, don't worry too much about baby not wanting to drink halfway, unless she cries persistently n keeps pushing away the bottle. My boy has been doing that occasionally, but I would play by ear, sometimes discovering he's got wind as he would burp moments later on his own now or aft I've burped him when he was much younger, then he wld b willing to drink again. Sometimes, it could be that he's really full or have some phlegm or at times he just wants to play. Either way, I wld coax him with TV or by telling him fanciful stories with lotsa dramatic sound effects while making him finish the balance.
For yr MIL, hv u checked if it's becos she's forgotten the proportions or just misreads the bottle levels? Becos my helper still does this n cites these reasons. I can only do so much, n found it pointless to confront her all the time, so I'll just add hot water to the milk whenever I happen to b there, or feed my boy warm water as far as I can, to counter the heatiness of milk. |
SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05)
Junior Member
Username: sweetcl05
Post Number: 106
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 10, 2010 - 12:16 pm: |
|
Mummyportia,
Thanks for your advice. Ok, I'll try to add warm water (if MIL make milk when I'm around)/feed her extra water when I came back from work.
As for my MIL, I guessed that's old generation style, they don't like younger generation to teach them cos they find that they've been taking care so many kids. Yes, I agreed pointless to confront cos end up misunderstanding occurs. |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 188
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 10, 2010 - 2:43 pm: |
|
SweetCL05, I give 4oz of water with 4 scoops of milk powder leh. is bb constipated and that's why you give only 2 scoops.
Did bb just had her injection? My bb will twist and turn when she has no appetite. No need to give colic medicine. Try the transparent liquid(aiya, i forgotten what that's call). Someone help me.
Mummyportia, sure, we will add you. FB group is very private b'cos we are using our real accounts. We have known each other for a while. So, you will know us very soon! I'll send an email to your address you listed above when we are all ready. Hope you don't mind. Rehdeer was our latest addition. Speaking of that, where has she been?? |
SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05)
Junior Member
Username: sweetcl05
Post Number: 107
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 10, 2010 - 3:31 pm: |
|
iwantitvmuch,
Yes, I give 4oz of water + 4 scoops of milk powder (cos similac spoon is different, 1 scoop = normal 2 scoops)
She haven't have her injection. I know the liquid u mentioned itz grips water but grips water like no effects on her... |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 956
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 10, 2010 - 10:52 pm: |
|
Janella,
great to hear from you and read that you are now ready to the next big step! I am so excited for you and now that you are ready, one day feels like an eternity. But I guess the wait will make the day more memorable!
Sweetcl
I know how you feel. It is always worrisome when our little ones don't want to drink as we do not know the reasons. I guess they have their days too but most important is that she is growing well. Try to keep track of the amount of milk she drinks a day. It may be more than what you think.
I also feel that my boy is on milk strike! I guess he wants to eat more solid food!
Iwantitvmuch
how much milk is your daughter drinking now? Has she reduced her milk intake?
Mummyportia
agree it is better to avoid medicine and as they build up their immunity, they would fall sick less often.
Yuli and blesswbb
how are you? Thread quiet without you too! |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 957
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 10, 2010 - 11:00 pm: |
|
Elle,
good that your work keeps you busy. Really hope to read good news from you soon.
Babylove
congrats! I think it is a great idea and you ll be able to enjoy lots of quality time with your boy. |
Mummyportia (mummyportia)
New member
Username: mummyportia
Post Number: 8
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Thursday, March 11, 2010 - 9:24 am: |
|
iwantitvmuch
no worries. I understand perfectly. In fact it makes me more secure knowing it's a private group. Thks for checking with them. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 744
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, March 11, 2010 - 12:17 pm: |
|
dream,
Been reading the thread but just can't find time to reply. My mum just came back from a short trip...without her my time has been tied down by my girl.
Sweetcl05,
Don worry abt yr girl intake of milk...i've gone thru that for 8mths...my girl is back with her nonsense again. Now the only thing u can hope is wait till she is ready for solid if not headache...headache. I think my girl will eventually give up on milk once she turn 1.
Do u think u can talk to your MIL that nowadays milk are much different from the time she take care of bb? Or u can tell her that yr girl has lactose intolerance so too much milk powder will make her bloated and rejecting milk. Actually, i can understand how u feel..i also has this problem with my Bro-in-law..I'm so afraid to bring my girl to his place...he will start giving all kinds of food to my girl...had tried telling him not to as she will be too young but he keeps saying can as his daughters are all grown up in this way.
iwantitvmuch,
Think since Mummyportia is active in this thread maybe can consider adding her in. U may wan to check with Babylove 1st. |
babylove80 (babylove80)
Junior Member
Username: babylove80
Post Number: 139
Registered: 5-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, March 11, 2010 - 9:42 pm: |
|
I just typed a long long reply to sweetclo, but it got lost in space. Let me retype it again. Maybe this time I won't be long-winded.
Sweetclo,
I can 100% emphatise with you. It is a tricky situation, because times have changed since our mothers and inlaws. I guess you will have to be at their level. What I did was to let my hubby take care of communications to his mother, and I my mother. Sometimes MIL does not like DIL to tell them. So better to get ur hubby to take on some of the 'battles'.
Hitting the tummy is a definite no-no. I am sure that ur hubby would not like you hitting his tummy after a full meal right. If anything, it should be after an hour or so.
Re ratio of infant formula to water, I think MIL might not be able to read markings on the bottle. My mum and nanny was also making mistakes with the quantity of water and infant formula. So what i did was to mark the water level. That helped to some extent. Otherwise, just give ur bb extra serves of water.
re quantity, hereis the link I shared in the earlier posts. http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-tell-how-much-formula-your-baby-needs_9136.bc. I guess it's more how much your baby can drink in 24hrs, not at one go. My bb,at 9 months, only drinks 5-6 ounces at one go. I used to force him to drink more, but after reading this article, it really took the pressure off me, and I was able to focus on the bigger pic which was to ensure that he meets his daily. Find the timings where bb drinks more, and see if you can push. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 745
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, March 11, 2010 - 11:29 pm: |
|
Hi ladies,
Wonder u ladies have any problem making your child taking his/her nap or even sleeping at nite? Lately, my girl likes to play alot and has been very mischievous...she doesn't want to take her nap or sleep...and i have to force her to sleep. Again trying to make her sleep just now is like taking an hour or more to make her fall asleep.
babylove,
Thanks for sharing how much formula our bb needs...its very useful as my girl don drink much. |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 189
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 11:16 am: |
|
BlesswBB, you can start reading to her now. Not sure if it will help but since she doesn't want to sleep, this is the time to cultivate the reading.
Maybe practise disclosure to her.
Dream, no, I haven't reduced the milk intake. In fact, I've up the milk to 5 oz(finally) and took BlesswBB's advise to increase the time duration. So now, every 4 hours, 5 oz. No more 3 hrs, I think. I left it to my MIL. My MIL make pork ribs and fish broth and mix with baby rice.
I'm going to buy Gina Ford baby receipe book. I think I want to go ang moh cos the food is more nutritious than porridge. I think my MIL will introduce porridge next month. So, I better let her read the receipe book. Luckily, my MIL is quite channel 5. |
babylove80 (babylove80)
Junior Member
Username: babylove80
Post Number: 140
Registered: 5-2009
| | Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 12:03 pm: |
|
iwantitverymuch,
I am okie with mummyportia joining us on FB. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 746
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 12:29 pm: |
|
iwantitvmuch,
I tried practising disclosure talk to her but end up crying haha...donno when the time comes can i do it anot...if really very hard think will ask my hubby to do the job...he's better in it anyway.
The problem is when i hold a book in my hands she will start to explore it and even try to tear it...she really very "jian" cannot sit still.
Think i will have to buy baby receipe book like u too since she taking breakfast now instead of drinking her milk. |
Dodo (dodo789)
Member
Username: dodo789
Post Number: 536
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 12:57 pm: |
|
Hi iwantitvmuch,
I send you a PM abt the questions. Please kindly see if you are able to help.
Thanks. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 747
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 2:28 pm: |
|
Yuli,
Since your girl can also stand...does your dd stand up when she's bathing? My dd keep standing up when bathing...tried to make her sit she will try standing up again. Really got difficulty bathing her. |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 190
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 3:07 pm: |
|
BlesswBB, you are very funny! <<end>> what were you thinking of that you end up crying??
Dodo, I will read your email when I get home. can't access in office. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 748
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 12, 2010 - 11:18 pm: |
|
iwantitvmuch,
Since you going ang moh on food there is one of the website that have bb food receipe.
Hope u find it interesting
http://www.annabelkarmel.com/recipes/babies-6-9-months/fish-sweet-potato |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 958
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, March 13, 2010 - 10:40 pm: |
|
Blesswbb & Yuli,
Another big milestone for your baby! standing up is great! I guess they will be walking soon. It is amazing how bbs develop.
My little boy has made lots of progress this week! He now can turn on both sides and both directions. He is trying to crawl but he can move around by rolling around. It is actually quite scary as he is really quick and we need to keep an eye on him at all times.
Iwantitvmuch,
I would most likely give a mix of both western and Asian food as well, like Mummyportia. I also feel that western is more nutritious. So far, he tried banana (mixed with the white cereal), sweet potato, carrot and pumpkin. Will most likely try green vegetables next week (bought some spinach, asparagus) and apple.
Mummyportia,
Thanks again for your earlier tip. Very useful.
Blesswbb,
Thanks for sharing that website. Will bookmark it. What have you tried so far?
As for the disclosure,HUGS to you. I am sure it is tough and remember, practice makes perfect. And only when you are ready, you need to tell her. And the good thing is that you have lots of time to practice until she really understands what it means! She is only 8 months!
Sweetcl,
The ladies have given you lots of advice. I guess you are not alone in this! |
die (die)
Junior Member
Username: die
Post Number: 373
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, March 14, 2010 - 2:16 pm: |
|
BlesswBB,
Ya I also found u were so cute to practise the disclosure talk and end up crying???!!! How abt recording it on video and pass it to DD when the time is rite? Can make it abit more special..like filming her as a baby for abit before u start the talking..taht way when DD is older she can see herself as a baby, how pretty n happy mummy looked when she (baby) came into ur life. |
die (die)
Junior Member
Username: die
Post Number: 374
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, March 14, 2010 - 2:19 pm: |
|
BTW,
Just to vent, I am overdosed on the Jack Neo scandal n abit depressed by it cuz it brought back memories of a bad patch that hubby n myself went thru 4 yrs ago..;( |
Hapimint (hapimint)
New member
Username: hapimint
Post Number: 2
Registered: 3-2010
| | Posted on Sunday, March 14, 2010 - 3:55 pm: |
|
Well, most of the babies that we helped, the parents didn't keep in contact and there are cases that the parents moved once they finished with the adoption...
My mum helped those childless couples out of coincidence...Mostly by introduction by friends... Personal... and we only adopted girls from China....The first baby was found in a box during the cold chinese New Year in the streets...
I remember the generic rule is after the adoption, about 6 months later, send a picture to us to make sure that the baby is in good hands...
die, dun be depressed. If you choose to forgive then got to learn to accept him again... Saw this when I was growing up... If end up quarreling all the time, then it becomes really depressing for the whole family.... Both need to work really hard to make it work again |
yuli (yuli)
Junior Member
Username: yuli
Post Number: 292
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, March 14, 2010 - 6:49 pm: |
|
Die, sorry 2 hear that. Don't dwell on it ok?
Blesswbb, she has bn standing in the bath since abt a mth ago n I use thst opportunity 2 wash her bottom! otherwise now that they sit in the tub, itz hard 2 wash their bottom, haha. Initially when she was wobbly, it was dangerous standing in the bath so I got bath toys 2 distract her n maKe her stay still! Now she still slips n lands with a thud in the water but she's not bothered.
I practiced disclosure with bb when she was abt 3-4mths old. It was a quiet moment betwn us n she was lying so sweetly in bed n i juz thot I'll practice. Anyway, I found myself crying as well! I surprised myself actually. I didn't realise how strong the emotions were. Anyway, juz shows i gotta practice more!
Anyone went to the Taka baby fair? I hvnt had the time. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 749
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, March 14, 2010 - 9:46 pm: |
|
die,
It's not easy to tell them that they are not ours but adopted. Sometimes when i think of the reason her parents have to give up on her will also make me heartache for her. So i wonder if 1 day when she ask me y her parents doesnt want her i really cant tell as i know she will be too hurt to hear what she's going to listen from us. My part that i'm going to disclose is only that she is adopted and not our biological child.
If u choose to forgive him...then move on...all these stories with bring back bad memories...but since is already a past look at the future with happiness...;)
Yuli,
Thanks for the advise...think i got to get bath toys to distract her...oh i have been washing her bottom since she's with us...so her bottom still smell very nice...haha
Everywhere is having baby fair...even OG having offer on babies stuff. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 750
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, March 14, 2010 - 9:47 pm: |
|
Hapimint,
If those couples are going thru the legal way...that means they have to go thru the Home study then it makes no sense that the couples are avoiding your mum...as end of it they still need to disclose it to the child. |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 191
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, March 14, 2010 - 10:19 pm: |
|
About Jack Neo, I think very little of it. Because it's the entertainment industry and there are alot of temptations. I think he is human after all and I don't want to judge him. THe most important thing is that he repent and work harder on his marriage. Everyone should move on. In marriage, we have to work on it, for better or worst.
Men are weak but there are women who tempt the men. So, if we can look at it in that angle, it helps to forgive. |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 959
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Monday, March 15, 2010 - 3:56 pm: |
|
Die,
Please try not to dwell on it. Instead, focus on the present and look forward to the future.
Hapimint,
I am sure all the adoptive parents would never forget you and what your mum has done for them. I think most of them are not ready to disclose the adoption to their children and that's why they may have lost touch with you and your mum.
Yuli and Blesswbb,
I know how you feel. It is not easy and may be should try by reading books instead. |
Janella (janella)
New member
Username: janella
Post Number: 73
Registered: 7-2009
| | Posted on Monday, March 15, 2010 - 4:13 pm: |
|
Hi ladies
Feeling very down lately. There is still no news of any baby available and I'm wondering whether this is going to be a very long wait.
Yuli and BlessBB
I agree with what Dream suggested. Disclosure is never going to be easy!Sometimes, I pretend that I already have a baby and I try to practise telling him/her about his adoption and just like BlessBB and Yuli, I'm already in tears!
Die
It's not easy, is it? I have a close friend who was in a similar position and she is always in doubt though she has forgiven her husband. But I always tell her to put the past behind her and move on. |
babylove80 (babylove80)
Junior Member
Username: babylove80
Post Number: 145
Registered: 5-2009
| | Posted on Monday, March 15, 2010 - 4:35 pm: |
|
Janella,
I wanted to PM you, but that's not allowed. Could you email me? You have my email add right? I really would like to 'talk' to you.
Yuli, Blesswbb, Dream,
Disclosing is a hard topic, and sometimes, I do tear, just because i have the same sentiments as Blesswbb. It will be a tough time for us and also for them. Hopefully by the time they can comprehend, we would be able to control our emotions, and be there for them. |
Janella (janella)
New member
Username: janella
Post Number: 74
Registered: 7-2009
| | Posted on Monday, March 15, 2010 - 6:00 pm: |
|
Babylove
I've just PMed you. I can't seem to find your email address. Let me know if you have not received my message. |
ellebaby (ellebaby)
New member
Username: ellebaby
Post Number: 19
Registered: 12-2009
| | Posted on Monday, March 15, 2010 - 8:23 pm: |
|
Janella, I understand how you feel and is hard to be patience. Sometimes when you hear the phone rings you wonder if this is from the agent. Have you call Alice or other agents ? For me now, I am glad work is keeping me 100% occupy. Still at work now.
Die, sorry to hear this. Glad you have moved forward together with your hubby as this will strength your relationship together.
Attending the disclosure is one thing and actually doing the disclosure must be hard. I pray I will be strong when it comes to me. Hugs to you. |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 960
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Monday, March 15, 2010 - 9:02 pm: |
|
Elle,
I have talked to Alice and she told me she is working on your case and hope to get good news for you this week. Try to finish your work!
The waiting is a really tough time and it is good that work keeps you busy,
Janella,
I also try to ask for you but Alice was not sure who I was referring to. I guess she has lots of clients.
But looking on the bright side, it means you are ready to be a mom! It is really great and just be patient. Your hubby has been waiting for even a longer time! Your time will come very soon.
Babylove,
I am really interested to have a look at the books you bought about adoption when we meet.
Ladies,
I found Avent pacifier that are BPA free in Kiddy Palace in Jurong Point...I know it is far but just thought I'll let you know, I tried to look for some in Robinson last week but could not find any. Otherwise, like Blesswbb, also bought a training water bottle (BPA free)...yep, obsessed with getting BPA free stuffs,,,so, Janella and Elle..don't do my mistakes...As i did not know about the side effects of BPA, I bought normal bottles and once I found out about BPA, had to buy new BPA free bottles...waste my hard earned money! |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 751
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 15, 2010 - 10:03 pm: |
|
dream,
Kiddy Palace in Jurong Point has been my hot shopping area since my girl with us. I can be there for an hour just shopping there. My girl has been using Avent pacifier since the news abt a toddler got choke by pacifier.
Elle/Janella,
Don't feel so hard with baby not arriving...i believed that sometimes God is still selecting the right baby for you. So pls be patience. |
die (die)
Junior Member
Username: die
Post Number: 375
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Monday, March 15, 2010 - 11:53 pm: |
|
Thanks for all ur comforting words..It's true that my marriage became even stronger aft that episode and im glad that i did not make the wrong decision by choosing to forgive him..problem is i cannot forget..sigh..sometimes i still bring it up n nag at him..
jus to share, actually i neglected him during that time due to working full time n studying part time..n he jus started a new business venture..I was too busy to help him and someone else did..n they became close..at first i only felt anger at him cuz i was the victim..but now 4 yrs later looking back..i realised how lonely and neglected he was when i kept pushing him away emotionally as i was in survival mode trying to cope with job n study..
New mummies,
Do shower more love n attention on ur hubbies..dont ever take dem for granted,ok..In a way, they are like big babies..dey want attention too although they r too proud to ask for it..
BlesswBB,
U r rite..I never thot of how hurt a child will be when find out dat biological parents dont want them..how to soothe that hurt? Will our love be enough? Teenager time will be the worst..i tink. |
die (die)
Junior Member
Username: die
Post Number: 376
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 16, 2010 - 12:05 am: |
|
BlesswBB,
Its ok if u dont answer my question if its too personal, but wat was the reason the biological parents didnt want her? Again, sorry..so direct..
iwantitvmuch,
u r rite..men r weak n some women really tempt them..terrible b@#$%^! but at the same time, i also reflected on myself that during that time, i didnt put my hubby n marriage 1st on the priority list..also my mistake too..of course still not an excuse for him la..
anyways, thanks ladies
i will try my best to put all these bad memories behind..the present is good n future will be even better ;) |
Janella (janella)
New member
Username: janella
Post Number: 75
Registered: 7-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 16, 2010 - 8:00 am: |
|
Dream
Thanks so much for alerting Alice. I'm actually using a different name so that's why she doesn't know who you are referring to. But I am also widening my search so that's ok.
Elle & BlessBB
Thanks for your kind words. I just have to be patient. Elle, I'm glad that work is keeping you busy.
It's true, Elle. Whenever my mobile rings, I rush to answer it hoping that it's the agent.
Babylove
Did you get my message? I've forgotten how this PM system works. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 752
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 16, 2010 - 11:06 am: |
|
die,
i will answer yr qn in FB...think this will be too sensitive qn.
Janella,
Did u try calling Joy adoption Service? Think they are good too. If not..u may wan to consider PM Hapmint to check whether her mum is still doing adoption. |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 961
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 16, 2010 - 8:32 pm: |
|
Blesswbb,
I guess we are the only one shopping in Jurong point. This is only my third time there as it is a bit far from my place. I usually like to go imm, Vivo or suntec.
Die
thanks for sharing your story and advice. I think sometimes we get too caught up in our "own" life that we forget the other half. and you are right that with baby, there is even less time for us. It is lots of adjustments as well and there will be new conflicts too. But once new balance is found, it is ok but sometimes, it is really hard to find that balance! Anyway, Will try to pay more attention to my hubby! Thanks for the reminder
Janella
Don't hesitate to call Alice to ask her for updates. As she has lots of cases, it is good to call her once in a while. I used to call her almost everyday! |
Mummyportia (mummyportia)
New member
Username: mummyportia
Post Number: 9
Registered: 2-2010
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 17, 2010 - 12:55 am: |
|
Die
I've got so many close friends who hv husbs that strayed, n i'm really proud of u for making that effort to forgive. It's hard to forget but i know yr unconditional love will transform yr marriage including yourself as u strive to work thru the process. Keep going strong n yr kids will be moved by yr courage n gd role-modelling.
Janella
U can call Francis of Joyful Adoption. That's how I got my precious. Francis has many babies who r nursed by his sister-in-law, also called Alice. Suddenly the name Alice pops up everywhere haha.
Dream
So nice to know your boy is progressing so fast!! Turning on both sides is a feat, but gd thing boys tend to advance more quickly in psycho-motor skills than the girls tho they tend to lag behind them in language acquisition. Can't wait to hear your boy experiment with standing n walking. I've to keep a close watch over my boy all the time now as he moves around thinking he can fly n walk all on his own, altho I've been there to catch him when he falls!! V scary...
iwantitvmuch
Have been looking out for baby recipe bks too, n found a host of them at the public community libraries. Might want to chk them out instead of buying, as u can compare notes, n tailor them to suit the asian appetite... since angmo babies r genetically more lactose-tolerant than asian babies. Also find many of the western recipes too heavy-laden with sugars, usually a combi of various fruits like banana, berries n other stuff with porridge, mixed with cream or milk. Think we can cut down the proportions accordingly to get our kids to appreciate the natural tastes of various foods. |
working_wife (working_wife)
New member
Username: working_wife
Post Number: 17
Registered: 3-2010
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 17, 2010 - 12:59 am: |
|
hi all, i am new to this forum. I wld like to find out more about adoption here. How do i start, who do I contact? Any contacts to recommend? My DH and I hv been trying v long to conceive but its not happen. Maybe God has another plan for us... |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 962
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 17, 2010 - 6:47 am: |
|
Mummyportia,
Must be stressful looking after him as he is learning how to walk and stand. I guess you have to baby proof your house as well. Once he learns to walk, he would learn running and jumping! I remember my elder daughter was fascinated about walking backwards as well! Otherwise, he still has not "talked". Just learning to scream for our attention. Hope he gets there too. How old was your boy when he managed to say mama or papa? Does your boy have stranger anxiety? Otherwise, I guess he must be enjoying going to the park. About baby food, I guess we are giving them fusion food! The best of both worlds. My boy loves pumpkin purée. Will try green vegetable this week.
Working wife
welcome to the thread. I think most of us have experienced what you are going thru and are now happy and proud mothers. A good start is to check mcys website and give them a call. You also need to contact touch which is in charge of home study report and also organises talk on adoption. You may want to start there. |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 192
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 17, 2010 - 11:17 am: |
|
Working wife!!
Welcome. Hope we can help you here. If you click on 'Archive through January 20', look for a message by babylove(to strawberryusu) on the 7th of January 2010. You will have some details there on how to start.
We all have tried conceiving for very long. If you back track the threads to as early as April last year, you will see the journey of BlesswBB, Yuli, Babylove, iwantitvmuch(myself), Dream, SweetCl05, rehdeer,mummyportia,sorry if I miss anyone(our list getting longer!!!). We each have a story and and I have find support through each of the adoptive mothers here. I hope you will find a resolution and be a parent soon!!
Mummyportia ah, check your fb lately?? |
SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05)
Junior Member
Username: sweetcl05
Post Number: 108
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 17, 2010 - 12:53 pm: |
|
Hi ladies,
Thanks so much for your advice. Lately, I've being quite busy and don't have time to come in..Now Lunch time, just drop by to see the thread, it's moving so fast.
Wow, there're a few new members, welcome!
Dream,
I've bought MAM's BPA stuffs, they're selling at Mothercare. Marina Sq mothercare got quite alot of baby's stuffs, you can go there and shop. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 753
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 17, 2010 - 10:29 pm: |
|
working wife,
Welcome to the thread.
iwantitvmuch,
U back in S'pore? So did u managed to catch up with Yuli?
Me having been very tired lately teaching my new helper and bring her up and down to the hospital for caregiver training...i really hope this going to end soon...otherwise think i'm going to fall sick. |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 193
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 17, 2010 - 11:46 pm: |
|
No, I didn't have time to see Yuli. It was a short trip as I'm rushing back to see baby. But I was at Pavilion for dinner with colleagues and I saw so many shops for baby! But no time to shop.
Don't train the helper too much at a time. U will get frustrated if she can't remember. If information overload, she can't remember. If she's stress, worst.
I have a freiend moving to Canada and she is helping her helper find an employer. If anyone is interested, let me know. She's filippina and hv experiences w baby. |
working_wife (working_wife)
New member
Username: working_wife
Post Number: 18
Registered: 3-2010
| | Posted on Thursday, March 18, 2010 - 1:04 am: |
|
thanks to all for your advise. Very useful. I hope that one day, I can be a proud parent too Just a question, how long did it take you to adopt your children (from the point that you started checking out agencies, attending talks etc)? I have heard that it takes very long (even up to few years)... but it must be worth the wait! |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 194
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, March 18, 2010 - 9:11 am: |
|
working wife, Mine adoption about took less than6 months, from the day I fill up the forms. |
Janella (janella)
New member
Username: janella
Post Number: 76
Registered: 7-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, March 18, 2010 - 10:01 am: |
|
BlessBB,Mummyportia
I've already contacted another agency.I'm still waiting. I think I just have to be more patient.Thanks for the tip! I'm worried that I will grow old waiting. Ha!Ha!
Working Wife
A warm welcome to you! Just to let you know, I heard from the adoption agent that it is better to do the HSR with SBL as it is faster than TOUCH.
You might just want to check both out first. |
Nicole Chua (nic_dol)
Junior Member
Username: nic_dol
Post Number: 413
Registered: 8-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, March 18, 2010 - 5:26 pm: |
|
Hi Janella,
you can try calling ronnie tan from kids & tot adoption agency, hp 91999949. I think a few weeks ago he told me he has a malaysian baby girl for adoption. I didn't do my HSR so I can't adopt her. Good luck to you! |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 963
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Friday, March 19, 2010 - 8:56 pm: |
|
Hi ladies,
quiet thread today! Enjoy the week end! |
leen (ineedmiracle)
New member
Username: ineedmiracle
Post Number: 1
Registered: 3-2010
| | Posted on Saturday, March 20, 2010 - 4:22 pm: |
|
dear ladies,
I've been reading through every post in this thread. I never knew there are many families into adopting children till I chance upon this thread.
Married for 7 years. DH diagnosed of have zero sperm. But over the 7 years, we tried eastern to western, in search of miracle. Although 4 years back, doc told us, we only have 2 options. Donor sperm or adoption. DH took the matter quite well, but not me. We loved children, however DH told me he is fine, and I comforted him and repied...we still have each other, we can travel without worries.
Years passed. Each time when we went shopping, lookinf at baby clothings, looking at babies of others and own relatives, how i wish, i had one of my own. But I hide it, cos I just don't wanna let DH feel bad. Yet in the meantime, I still have relatives who will suggest this cure,and that doc, and I still ask DH to go for the treatment.
FInally, Dh told me, why am I still insisiting when we know the results will still be the same? Treatments are not cheap. If I really want a baby, then get a donor sperm and go thru ivf. At that point, I was speechless. I knew what he is going through. But I try to ignore and hide the fact. I still hope for miracle. But his words, I woke up. I knew he had enough. Treatments wasnt cheap. and to him it was time consuming cos I was the one who couldnt accept the fact, and kept hoping for miracle.
But alas, he told me to wake up. There, I ggogled about donor sperm, and chanced upon this thread. I thought, and knew ivf was not a guaranteed pregnancy. weighing the pros n cons, I told myself, why not adopt.
Cost of adoption is not cheap either. But I know the chance of having a baby is higher.
Discussed with DH. I guessed somehow he felt happier for me. that I'm accepting the fact. Although he still don't understand why I must have a baby? Why can't we just have each other till the end...
I told him. Mother instinct. WOmen Instinct. SOmething is missing and I guess he understood. He told me, if i want to adopt, he will support my decision. I think he is able to foresee that we will have another big row again over babies, treatments, etc., if we continue to ignore the problem.
I read about the cost, ranging from 25k - 30k.
I read about the great help Alice gave. There's mention of MCYS, Lotus and Touch. Do help me clarify my doubts. Alice is in Lotus? but lotus min age is 40. So I would be left with Touch? As we are both 31. |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 964
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, March 20, 2010 - 7:41 pm: |
|
Ineedmiracle,
welcome and I am sure your miracle will find you! It must have taken you hours to go thru the thread. That s what I did too before I joined the thread but at that time, it was much shorter! Most of us have gone thru what you are going thru and I know it is not easy. But I guess it makes us stronger and once you will hold your prince or princess in your arm, you will feel complete. And life would never be the same !
To answer your questions, you need to get a home study report. That s a requirement from mcys and if I am not wrong, there are three agencies accredited by mcys to conduct hsr and one of them is touch. You can go thru touch website and download their form. Mcys website will also spelt out the requirements. Once you get your HSR approved, you can then contact adoption agency. Touch is also an adoption
agency for china. Most of us have gone thru lotus but there
are other adoption agencies as well. As for the age, most of us are below 40 and have adopted thru lotus.
Touch also organises seminar on adoption which you would need to attend for your hsr. Can't wait to read the rest of your journey! |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 965
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, March 20, 2010 - 10:43 pm: |
|
One more thing, Alice runs lotus. Give her a call. I am sure she will help you with your queries. |
ineedmiracle (ineedmiracle)
New member
Username: ineedmiracle
Post Number: 2
Registered: 3-2010
| | Posted on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 12:04 am: |
|
dream,
thanks for the help. will definitely give Alice a call. Her number can be found on the Lotus website right? I guess after hearing all the successful stories, I also wanna leave my miracle in Alice's hand...
But the next hurdle we need to overcome, is to bring this matter up to our parents. Will talk to my parents tml and see their reactions. My parents are always supportive in my decision. Perhaps they will be easier as they knew about DH's condition.
But DH's parents are not aware of the head and tail, so not sure how they will react.. but DH assured me that no problem. He told me that baby is ours, no one makes the decision for us. =)
I've waited for 7 years....waiting for miracles to take place.. |
ineedmiracle (ineedmiracle)
New member
Username: ineedmiracle
Post Number: 3
Registered: 3-2010
| | Posted on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 12:24 am: |
|
Can I check, on average, how long did all mummies waited for your little ones to choose you upon submitting the HSR?
Also, did any of you have preferences that you need Alice to look out for when looking for a baby? Would it be faster if no preferences?
I read from Lotus website...
- Applicants of adoption have to be at least 35 years old to adopt.
(not 40 as mentioned earlier)
but hor...we are below 35...will Alice help us? |
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch)
Junior Member
Username: iwantitvmuch
Post Number: 195
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 4:14 pm: |
|
ideedmiracle, Sorry to hear that you can't conceive.
I was like you, almost thought that we don't have to have children if we can't have any. But my hubby and I don't live eventful life and sometimes, we get really bored and feel that something is really missing in our marriage(amidst our trying). I gave up trying when I reached the timeline to stop and never looked back!
You don't have to be 40 yrs old. But you must be ready. Think carefully and I say, be ready to accept any babies. With adoption, better to think 'I want to bless a child'.
I was very very lucky for not having to wait for my little one. My little one waited 3 weeks for me! I didn't have a chance to tell Alice of my preferences. Luckily, I didn't have a chance or else, I can't imagine what stupid criterias I would have given her. She told me I can visit the baby when I called her.
Alice is very kind and the babies she handled are babies she will want to adopt herself. So, I say, no need to have criteria.
You can always go for the pre-adoption class before your final decision. Do go to touch website now . Janella said that SBL might be faster than Touch. u might want to try. |
ineedmiracle (ineedmiracle)
New member
Username: ineedmiracle
Post Number: 4
Registered: 3-2010
| | Posted on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 6:22 pm: |
|
iwantitvmuch,
thanks a lot. Really agree with u, sometimes leave our miracle to hands of god. Our little miracle will find us.
We decided to let her Alice knw the gender. The rest will leave it to god to decide for us.
I called Alice today. She advised me to get my HSR from tanjong fsc, much faster than touch. Was looking thru touch's HSR, i almost faint answering halfway thru. Really so much to answer.
Can i check of all HSR are the same? The questions and the things they need us to submit |
ineedmiracle (ineedmiracle)
New member
Username: ineedmiracle
Post Number: 5
Registered: 3-2010
| | Posted on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 8:51 pm: |
|
dear ladies,
today, full of enthusiasm, i told my mum my plans. Expecting that she will support me, but no. She didn't. Went on to tell me the disadvantage of being an adoptive parent. went on to tell me that i will have lots of problem with the child. I'm very upset. At that point, I wanted to breakdown and cry, but i controlled my tears. swallowed it till I was alone with my DH.
I took years to pluck up the courage to opt for adoption. It wasn't easy for me to convince myself that I can do it. It wasn't easy for me to take this step...and now, i just feel so difficult.
ladies, how did you convince your parents and parents-in-law? what was their first reaction when they knew about your decision? worst scenario, will i still get to adopt, if my parents are not supportive?
greatly appreciate all advices....thank you |
dream (dream09)
Member
Username: dream09
Post Number: 966
Registered: 4-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 11:12 pm: |
|
Ineedmiracle,
hugs to you. I know it is not easy but may be you have to give her some time. You have been thinking about adoption for some time but for her, it is a new topic.
Otherwise, I have the same views as your hubby. If it feels right for both of you, just go ahead. You live for yourself and not for others. And you don't want to live life with regrets. I am sure you know what is best for you and your hubby. And I would think that your mum's heart would melt when she sees your little one. |
BlesswBB (confuse)
Member
Username: confuse
Post Number: 754
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 22, 2010 - 12:23 am: |
|
ineedmiracle,
A warm welcome to u & a big hugs to u too.
I'm curious abt want yr mum negative points. U mind sharing it?
Is she worried that the child will not be healthy or the parents will come finding their child back? Just feel that if u share what is her thought might help us to help u to answer her doubt.
FYI, my parents r very supportive. My family has adoption history so we r very opened with adopting a child. My in law never get to know as they r no longer ard. But my sis/bro in law got to know on my girl 1mth old celebration. I still think whether adopting a child is the couple decision & not people who don't understand what we had went thru. |
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Matters Of The Heart