| Author |
Message |
    
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 288
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 05, 2008 - 1:33 pm: | 
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Thanks Mocha for your well-wishes!
We've submitted our HSR forms today! But the staff at Trans Centre told us we've to go down for 3 interviews and 1 more in our own home. Read somewhere that some other centres only did 2 interviews...let's hope the whole process will be smooth-sailing. |
VQ (vinegarqueen)
Member
Username: vinegarqueen
Post Number: 1577
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 05, 2008 - 11:23 pm: |
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Hi Angel,
Finally, u had submitted the HSR forms! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
As for the interviews, i went down for 1 interview at SBL. Maybe, different centres hv different rules n procedures. Or maybe, the Adoption rules had made some changes again. |
Elizabeth (natelize)
New member
Username: natelize
Post Number: 33
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 06, 2008 - 7:05 am: |
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GOOD FOR YOU ANGEL,
You are on ur way I can't wait to hear more. By the way which agent did u us for HSR? |
babymaking (babymaking)
Member
Username: babymaking
Post Number: 612
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 06, 2008 - 8:22 am: |
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hi catherine
thanks for your advice. we went down to fox adoption as they had a 4 month baby available, both myself and hubby fell in love with the baby.
All we had to do is put down a deposit of 5k and we could bring the baby back, but i am uncomfortable with doing so without knowing if the HSR is approved.
Irene provided relatively good advice, as she warned us of the heartbreak of parting with the baby should the HSR not be approved for whatever reason.
in the end, we decided to take a step back and wait for the HSR approval before we go baby looking.
Dear chris,
i understand that you had a bad experience with irene, could you share (perhaps via email, since it's not conv to post here) your experience and what exactly went wrong?
any others here who used fox and had a bad experience or any positive expereince from fox? i would love to hear either to make an informed decision.
I guess what moved me to fox is that they openly post pictures of the babies online and provide a basic history even before being obliged to go down.
the other agencies have somewhat been less open, often putting remarks that they do not have a baby available but they can find if you want to, or the baby is not in Singapore, some haven't even seen the baby themselves, or worse in one instance, even demanded money when the baby is not even borned. |
Mocha (moca)
New member
Username: moca
Post Number: 33
Registered: 8-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 06, 2008 - 9:58 am: |
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Hi Angle,
Great to hear that you have hand up ur HSR application. The up coming road will not be difficult because for what i think the most difficult part is the collection of all the document they require. As for the interview we when for twice in FeiYue and 1 home visit.
I remember when I hand up our appilcation for the HSR I also very worried but I get lots of information and helpful advice from the member here especially Catherine, Chris and VQ. Thanks so much for sharing ur infor and things to take note on the whole adoption process.
So not to worried cos lots of pple here were supporting you. Just relax and everything will be fine.
Hi babymaker,
I have been to fox family with same reason as what you think too. They are very open and they post the picture of the BB online. But after I have talk to Irene then we decide not to go for it cos their BB is not pure chinese. Cos our parents are paticular abt it.
Do ask them on how is the whole process because I think theirs is quite complicated cos Irene even told us that we need to fly to the the country of the BB birth to make vow.... |
Elizabeth (natelize)
New member
Username: natelize
Post Number: 35
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Saturday, February 09, 2008 - 9:04 am: |
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Hi guys, Happy New Year.
I'm just wondering has anyone been through a local adoption? |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 56
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 12, 2008 - 1:57 pm: |
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Hi all,
A warm Happy Year of the Glorious Rat to each and every one of you and your family and your little ones either already with you or on the way to you soon!.
Its been a really hectic CNY for us. We just got back from KL last night after a wonderful week of CNY festivities with our wonderful baby who is now already 9 months old!! Suddenly overnight my wife and I were no longer the highlight of CNY celebration, our daughter has taken over the priviledge!!!
Another good news to share is that we have also already collected our daughter's birth certificate and also her official Singapore Citizenship certificate on 3 February 2008!! About 4 days befoe CNY!!! I have also submitted today her application for Singapore Passport and it will be ready by 18th Feb!!! Hurray hurray hurray!!
To all those who are keen on Fox, kindly IM or email me below chrisanth0ny@yahoo.com.
Angel -> Good to hear that you have submitted the HSR report for review and approval. Dont worry about the interviews and all that...hang in there!! |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 294
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 12, 2008 - 2:20 pm: |
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Chris,
Happy New Year! So good to hear from you again. It must be one of the most fantastic New Year for you and dear wife in many years with baby Princess as the 'star' attraction  I wish this can happen to us next Lunar New Year too! Coincidentally, my hubby's brother resides in KL and my mum in law in Penang, are you a Malaysian too?
By the way, how did you bring your baby across without a Singapore passport? My sister-in-law told us over the weekend that she can put us in touch with a teenage shelter in M'sia who have babies for adoption. But we are unsure of the process involved in bringing in a baby on your own. Would like to hear your experience. Care to share? |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 57
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 12, 2008 - 3:14 pm: |
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Hi Angel,
I am Singaporean and my wife is Malaysian, hence the trip to KL for CNY.
Our daughter already had a valid Indonesian Passport to bring her to Singapore and we used that to apply for her dependant pass. Now with the Singapore passport to be collected next Monday, we can safely keep the Indonesian Passport for good!!!
I dont understand what you mean by "bringing in a baby on your own"? You will definitely need a valid Malaysian passport if you want to bring the baby into Singapore but it cannot be done by yourself or your husband as it will seem odd. Why odd? Well, two Singaporeans holding valid Singapore passport bringing in a foreign baby who is holding a valid Malaysia passport. I think it would be safer and raise less queries at the immigration counter if the baby was brought in my another Malaysian passport holder.
You will also defintiely require a formal letter of consent for adoption from the biological parents of the baby. This is a MUST have!!
You also got to be careful with these teenage shelters. You got to ensure that ALL their documents are valid before having any dealings with them. |
VQ (vinegarqueen)
Member
Username: vinegarqueen
Post Number: 1578
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 12, 2008 - 11:51 pm: |
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Hi Chris,
CONGRATULATIONS!!! |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 113
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 13, 2008 - 12:32 am: |
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Hi Angel,
Is your husband a M'sian? If yes, have you ever thought of doing the adoption in M'sia itself? But then your child will be a M'sian citizen. And you won't have to go thru' the HSR hustle. Maybe you can check up on procedures for adoption in M'sia - but that is only if either one of you is M'sian. That's what my sis did - her husband's a M'sian - and her second adopted child was from M'sia and is a M'sia citizen. Not sure of her plans to convert her son's citizenship though, as she currently lives and works in China.
Hi Chris,
Congratulations! It's complete now! |
Mocha (moca)
New member
Username: moca
Post Number: 34
Registered: 8-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 13, 2008 - 8:38 am: |
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Hi Chris,
Congratulations. Finally whole process complete! |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 58
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 13, 2008 - 10:30 am: |
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Hi all,
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!
To all going thru the same process, hang in there and dont give up! Also be careful with the agencies you are using...it is a business transaction after all for these companies. |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 297
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 13, 2008 - 12:07 pm: |
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Hi Catherine
my husband used to be M'sian but now Singaporean. And we've alredy started our HSR so will continue with it. We can adopt a M'sian Chinese baby through private adoption agents here or through the teenage shelter recommended by my SIL in KL. But the thing is we have to figure out how to legally get the baby out of M'sia to S'pore to jumpstart the proper adoption process. The lawyer we consulted says he does not know the procedures to bring a M'sian baby into Singapore, so now we're stuck...and he mentioned something about we've to 'go to High Court ourselves to wait', which part of the adoption process is that?
Chris, if you don't mind, I'll like to speak with you on your experience. I'll email you later to give you my contact. Please call me ya? Thanks.
sigh...submitted my forms 1 week ago but haven't heard anything from them... |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 59
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 13, 2008 - 1:37 pm: |
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Hi Angel,
For your HSR reports which you submitted, what happens is that the accreditated agencies need to assign the interview process to a counsellor who will contact you soon (hopefully) to schedule a face-to-face interview with you and your husband. The wait is also probably becuase of the CNY holidays. If you do not get a call end of this week, you should contact the agency again to get a date and time.
My suggestion to you for Malaysian babies is to perhaps secure the services of a Malaysian lawyer who will look after your interest and can advise you of how to go about the whole process in Malaysia. You will definitely need the letter of consent from the biological parents of the Malaysia child + the Malaysian passport needs to be applied to bring the child legally into Singapore.
Besides the above, there might be other documents to be processed between the teengage shelter and the local state authority which only they can advise.
Email me you contact number and I will touch base with you as soon as I get it. |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 300
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 13, 2008 - 10:21 pm: |
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Thanks Chris for your call this afternoon. Appreciate your helpful advice. By the way, Trans Centre contacted me today. We'll go for our 1st interview on 25 Feb (Mon). She says it'll last 4 hours. Wonder what questions they'll ask. Care to share anyone?
Tomorrow's Valentines'. Hope everyone will have a good day with your loved ones. Happy Valentines'! |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 60
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 13, 2008 - 11:34 pm: |
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Hi Angel,
The counsellor will be going through the same questions you answered in the HSR and obtain more details of your answers. She/he will probably probe on the background and why you answered the questions this way or that.
I dont think they are out to "fail" anyone but just to seek clarity on the desire. Just answer truthfully according to your answers submitted in the HSR. They are always open to clarification of your answers submitted.
Happy Valentine's Day to one and all too! |
MLF (mlf)
New member
Username: mlf
Post Number: 1
Registered: 2-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, February 14, 2008 - 8:41 am: |
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Hi Everyone,
I have been a silent reader of the forum since last Aug. Your experiences shared in this forum have prompted my husband and myself to proceed with our child adoption journey (which we have been contemplating for some time) in Oct 07. We are now proud parents of a chubby and cute 3-months old princess. Currently in the process of applying for birth cert and citizenship. I've finally decided to register as a user today as I hope to be able to share experiences and also learn from the group here.
Our HSR was done at Trans Centre. So, Angel, do let me know if you need any information.
Happy Valentine's Day to all! |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 114
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, February 14, 2008 - 9:22 am: |
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Hi mlf,
Welcome! It's good to know that we have touched people who are not 'visible' as well!
Which agency did you use? Hope you can share your experience with us and other 'silent' ones.
Happy Valentine's to everyone! |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 301
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, February 14, 2008 - 10:54 am: |
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Yes, WELCOME MLF!
so glad to know you did your HSR at Trans Ctr too! Was your assessor also Ms Lim? Your adoption process was rather fast, started in OCT 07 and already proud parents of 3mths baby. How long did the HSR take for you? |
MLF (mlf)
New member
Username: mlf
Post Number: 2
Registered: 2-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, February 14, 2008 - 12:27 pm: |
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Hi all,
Guess I am quite lucky to be able to be a parent in such a short time.
The agency that brought our princess to us is Greenhouse Adoption Services. Mr Low from Greenhouse has recommended that we use Trans Ctr when we first approach him for information in Oct.
We submitted our forms to Trans on 15 Oct. 1st interview at Trans on 13 Nov lasted more than 5 hours! Our assessor is Priscilia. 2nd interview took place at our home on 28 Nov and it lasted about 4 hours. We collected our HSR within 2 weeks after the interviews.
Greenhouse happened to have a 2 months old baby girl available and arranged for us to meet the baby in early Jan. Well, everything just zoomed by once we fell in love with the baby on that day. |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 61
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, February 14, 2008 - 12:34 pm: |
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Hi MLF,
Welcome Welcome Welcome!!!
Good to see that your adoption has been going on smoothly. |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 62
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 - 12:25 pm: |
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Hi all,
Another piece of good news to share....which is expected anyway. I have collected my daughter's Singapore passport this morning!! Hurray!! She now has a widely accepted passport to travel the world with her daddy and mummy!!
Opening ceremony of Ally's passport will be this weekend when we head off to JB for a short weekend trip!! |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 310
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 - 1:38 pm: |
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 How wonderful news! Congratulations. Does that mean all steps of your adoption process has concluded?
I thought Ally already travelled with you back to M'sia for CNY? What passport was she using then? Her original one? |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 63
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 - 1:44 pm: |
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Hi Angel,
Yup all done...or almost....just need to apply for the baby bonus from our Government!! .
Yeah ally has travelled with us to KL for CNY and on that trip, its on her own original passport and under Dependant pass.
Now she is on her own with her own password and more importantly without the need for dependant pass!! |
VQ (vinegarqueen)
Member
Username: vinegarqueen
Post Number: 1582
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 - 5:49 pm: |
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Hi Chris,
COngratulations AGAIN!!! Finally, everything are OVER!!!
Would like to share my experiences regarding the baby bonus, some authority mentioned that we will receive a letter abt the baby bonus within wks. But we waited for 2 mths with no valid!! My DH n i then go down to MCYS personally with docs, like IDs, our marriage cert., DD's BC n CC and a POSB Kids bank book(which i had opened for her, for her savings!) In my case, she is my 2nd child, so we r entitled upto S$2,250 instead of the usual S$3k(the 1st payment of S$750/- is for those early birds, who applied when their child is 3wks old.)
After MCYS, check our documents, they will then check our eligibility. Once approve, they will send us a letter, we will then bring this letter to the bank to open another a/c called Matching account. Government will match upto S$6k. So that means u put S$1k, they chip in another S$1k for u! u put S$6k, they put S$6k for u!!! We are now waiting for this approval letter for matching account.
i hope my information helps. I would like to let you ppl cut short the waiting time. |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 313
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 - 8:59 pm: |
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Dear VQ
thanks for sharing, very useful info indeed. Wonder why they did not send you notification to claim baby bonus even though your adoption process is officially completed. If you didn't go down to MCYS, then maybe you'll never get it! Chris, looks like you may have to pay a visit to MCYS soon too.
How come baby bonus for 2nd child is only $2250? Then 3rd child even lesser? I always thought govt encouraging more children? If we adopt, she will only be considered our 2nd child as our baby Ashley was given baby bonus since she was born alive and was issued a birth cert.
I wonder what's the ceiling for the matching account for 2nd child. Is it only 6k? Hmm, must check out the baby bonus website... |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 118
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 20, 2008 - 12:47 am: |
|
Hi,
I didn't know that getting the passport was such a big thing? I only got my son his passport last year when he turned 3 as I felt he was very ready to travel. We brought him to HK Disneyland.
As for Baby Bonus, I had no problems - mine was settled by e-mails and fax (for the documents). No need to go down as the government's database has all the info they need for verification. I did not qualify for the matching account thing as mine is the first child. |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 64
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 20, 2008 - 1:47 pm: |
|
Hi all,
I have called MCYS and spoken to the Baby Bonus Officer yesterday. Was informned that they will be sending me the Baby Bonus Kit next month and if I want to start the process earlier than notification, I can still do so.
All I need to do was to provide copies of the following to the officer to verify eligibility:
- Marriage Certificate
- Baby's birth certificate
- Baby's Citizenship
- Couple's NRIC
So that is what I am doing next!
And yes Catherine...a passport "opening ceremony" is indeed necessary as it was a milestone in our daughter's adoption process. The passport process sort of officially ends the adoption phase as that was almost mean the end of documentation and court filings. We just wanted to go away for a weekend with her, although she has already been up and down KL many times with her own original passport. |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 320
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, February 21, 2008 - 12:15 pm: |
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Happy for you and your wife Chris. Finally over. Hope your whole family will enjoy the 'opening ceremony'
we're waiting for our 1st HSR interview come Monday...4 hours, scary! |
moonfairysgp (moonfairysgp)
Junior Member
Username: moonfairysgp
Post Number: 289
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, February 23, 2008 - 10:55 pm: |
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hi all,
congrats to all the new parents!!
just wanted to get your thoughts on this matter....
my sister and bro in law has offered to let us adopt one of their children. they currently have 1 daughter and she's currently pregnant with the 2nd baby. We are not talking about adopting this current pregnancy cos she wants to have 2 kids. we are talking about the 3rd baby.
on her part, i told her to rethink and reconsider until she's 110% sure. my sis and i have a close relationship, she's the sweetest sis that i have. (i have 3 sisters) she's not getting any younger either, she's 36 this year.
on my part, i'm still confused. although we are sooooo grateful for this generous offer, i don't know whether it's good or it will be strange in the long run between the 2 families. they are currently living in the USA. not sure if they will move back to asia, but that's a possibility.
emotionally, i'm not sure whether it's a good idea for the child to be with us. i mean, for most adopted children, there is a "real" reason to be given away.
for this child, the reason is wonderful, my sister loves us so much to want to give her child to us but from the child's perspective, i think it's not going to be so simple to accept?
also, what if my sis changes her mind halfway? we are planning to legally adopt the child. i'm afraid that it would makes things strange between us. although i can fully understand if she changes her mind.
financially (in the long run due to bro in law's inheritance), i think they are more wealthy than us. Not that hubby and i are poor or anything, we definitely have the means to give our child the best schools and stuff in singapore.
question is, would you do it if you were me? |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 119
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, February 24, 2008 - 12:13 am: |
|
Hi moonfairysgp,
It's great to have a sister like yours. But I think such an arrangement will be difficult, especially for the child. He/she will definitely feel unwanted compared to his/her biological siblings - he/she may take a long time to understand (or worse, never) your situation. There is a risk that the child may also resent you for causing him/her to be in this position. I feel that such a situation is a potential ticking timebomb - both for you and child's relationship and yours and your sis's relationship.
That's what I feel... |
Elizabeth (natelize)
New member
Username: natelize
Post Number: 40
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, February 24, 2008 - 4:59 am: |
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Hi moonfairy
Well I had an auntie who did that. Now I'm not sure if it was the up bring but i did hear that her mum(2nd mum) really had a hard time with her. The girl really could not understand or couldn't accept what had happen. I think u really have to be very careful on this matter. I'm sure u will tell that her mum is your sis right? Or were u planning not to tell her? |
moonfairysgp (moonfairysgp)
Junior Member
Username: moonfairysgp
Post Number: 290
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, February 24, 2008 - 11:04 pm: |
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hi catherine and elizabeth,
thanks for the inputs.
my husband is very much for the idea but ultimately it depends on me. for now, the ball is on my sister's court, i told her to rethink about the whole thing (esp since now she's preggie, it might be just her hormones going wacky) i'm waiting to hear her decision before i need to make my decision.
yes i'm planning to tell the child the truth and probably the child will call my sis as mummy-(sis name), daddy-(bro in law name) and call hubby and i, mom and dad too.
i was thinking that all children will feel some aort of resentment/abandoned feeling when they are told that they are adopted.
so if i were to adopt a child from the agency, would it be any better or different?
comparatively, for the "agency" child, it's a real case of "abandonment". whereas in my case, it would be a gesture of love and not abandonment from his/her parents?
and seems like most adopted children want to know about their birth parents when they start to mature. is it better that we are able to tell him/her who they are and the reason they were given up to us?
am i making any sense at all? |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 65
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Monday, February 25, 2008 - 11:47 am: |
|
Hi moonfairysgp,
You have a very interesting problem. It cannot be described as a big problem but arose out of sincere love and affection from your sister.
Adopting a child from a family member can be very complicated down the road and I am sure you would not want in any way to damage or destroy the good loving relationship you have with your sister.
It is defintiely different if something happens to them (touch wood!) which makes your nieces and nephews having no one else to care for them. In this case, it is perfectly ok to care and take over guardianship of the children.
Also giving up a child produce with love and given with love to a family member does not quite make sense. Its not like your sister is having serious financial hardship and will not be able to take good care of her 3rd baby. Looking at things down the road and if one day the child grows up and find out that she was given away for no better reason, the resentment will not only develop but it may be against her own biological parents.
Most babies made available for adoption from agencies are mostly because of financial problems. Plus it is also not like we will see the biological parents on a regular basis too right? In your case, you will see your sister every day of your life and so will your "adopted" daughter.
Something for your to consider.... |
moonfairysgp (moonfairysgp)
Junior Member
Username: moonfairysgp
Post Number: 291
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, February 25, 2008 - 7:59 pm: |
|
hi all,
really appreciated all the inputs from you. sometimes i also think i'm oversimplifying things a little.
anyway, has anyone have any feedbacks regarding Kings Agency?
I've pmed Mocha (she mentioned she adopted from there) already, hope she will reply me.
btw, i noticed that most of your adopted children are girls.....was gender an important factor for you during the adoption process?
i've always wanted a girl (even for my own baby, it's for frivolous reasons tho) but if a boy became available for adoption, i'm wondering if would it be any different?
|
mngal (mngal)
New member
Username: mngal
Post Number: 19
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 26, 2008 - 11:14 am: |
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Hi Guys
New to this thread. I wonder if anyone can tell me what is the cost of adoption fees in Singapore? I am currently residing in US and I am thinking of adopting as my next step if my next IVF round fail again. Also if any one of you have any recommendations on agencies in Sg?
thanks. |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 120
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 26, 2008 - 11:19 am: |
|
Hi mngal,
Kindly read the archives for details. |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 121
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 26, 2008 - 11:29 am: |
|
Hi moonfairysgp,
Most babies given up for adoption are girls - I suppose due to the Asian culture, people tend to want to keep their sons, no matter what.
I was lucky to be able to adopt a boy (my husband's preference), although we were open to take whichever gender came first.
I'm not sure what you meant by 'would it be any different'? Are you talking about costs? If yes, you would have to check with the agency. I don't think that the costs will be different. |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 329
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 26, 2008 - 5:37 pm: |
|
When my husband and I started talking about adoption, we had thought that baby girls would be in greater supply cos asian families would prefer to adopt or keep sons but boy, were we wrong! The few adoption agents we rang up all told us there's a shortage of baby girls as the demand now is for girls and hence the prices of girls are now higher! We were taken by surprise as we too wanted our 1st child to be a baby girl. Apparantly, one agent even told us now he has 5 couples queueing for baby girls... |
moonfairysgp (moonfairysgp)
Junior Member
Username: moonfairysgp
Post Number: 293
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 26, 2008 - 6:24 pm: |
|
Catherine, i was thinking more of the differences between bringing up an adopted boy vs a girl.
of course the upbringing and the child's personality makes a huge difference on how being adopted impacts the child but i'm just wondering which gender would be less impacted.
in most cases (disclaimer here, note: most NOT all) girls tend to be more emotional and go with their hearts whereas boys tend to be more logical in their thinking. i also think most girls are more open with their feelings so they can work on the emotional portion better than boys.
i was doing some casual readings and noticed that a lot of adult adoptees have problems with feeling of loss, insecurity and low self-confidence even though they say their adopted parents did a good job as parents. and these adoptees knew from the start that they were adopted and agreed that knowing is the best thing ever.
i'm a big believer of nurture over nature, perhaps there are some areas in the child development that we need to pay extra attention so that the impact is lessened.
angel, were there any available baby boys when you called given that there is a waitlist of girls? |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 66
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 26, 2008 - 7:29 pm: |
|
Hi Angel,
Hey how did you HSR interview go? It was on Monday right? |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 331
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 26, 2008 - 7:36 pm: |
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Dear moonfairy
yes, there were available baby boys for viewing at most agents but strangely no girls and we wanted a girl.
Chris, our 1st interview went very well and the next one would be a home visit which will take place next Friday (7 Mar). Also, good news to share! Just received an email from our contact in KL today informing us that there's a baby girl due to be born next month being put up for adoption by her mum as the baby's dad just passed away due to heart attack...we're excited by the possibility but sad for the baby.  However, we also need your frank opinion - Since baby have a family medical history of heart attacks, will she be prone to one? Anyway, we've decided we will view the baby anyway. If this really works, we'll engage the help of the lawyer you recommended. Everything seems to be falling into place. Now, our days are filled with hope... |
mngal (mngal)
New member
Username: mngal
Post Number: 20
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 27, 2008 - 3:22 am: |
|
Hi Catherine
I browse through the archives rather quickly, and only saw these names being mentioned : Fox's, Shunfa, and Lotus. I don't know where to start looking for my options. Any one who has been through the whole process, willing to give a step by step guide to a newbie like myself?
thanks. |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 122
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 27, 2008 - 2:08 pm: |
|
Hi mngal,
So far, it seems that those with good experiences were from Shunfa and Lotus and Mocha used King's. I suppose it'll be best if you call up the agencies, meet with the people, ask your questions and use the one that you are most comfortable with. Take note of Chris's earlier postings as to the details to look out for (mine was so smooth I did not have to grapple with any of these - lucky me). For other details such as the government requirements, go to the MCYS website http://app.mcys.gov.sg/web/home_main.asp. All the steps and details are there.
Hi moonfairy,
Each individual is different. We cannot generalize that boys are less emotional - my son cried at sad endings of shows/movies when he was less than 3 years old, he also cried when I told him how his grandpa died in a road accident (he had never met him) - all these before he turned 3!
Hi angel,
I guess you should ask doctors about such family history - get more info about the father's family history if possible, if not available, I suggest, to be on the safe side, not to adopt this one. Heart disease is usually hereditary and it could be difficult to tell in new-borns. I felt sad too when I brought my son home - sad for his mum and I actually felt bad and very emotional a while - it's like a double-edged sword, but thankfully, I got over it. Be patient and make careful decisions. And congrats on a smooth first interview... things are moving along... good for you! |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 67
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 27, 2008 - 5:28 pm: |
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Hi Angel,
Congratulations on the clearing the first interview!
About your query on the baby with possible hereditary problems, I do not think you need to be worried at this stage. It does not always mean that babies with hereditary problems will encounter the same fate as their biological problems. Such issues take time to manifest itself and the usual medical test may or may not detect it initially.
For all you know, the heart attack was caused by ill behaviour, eg. excessive smoking and drinking. Would you then consider that as being hereditary too?
You are being cautious now because you have the knowledge of how the baby’s father died, would the situation be any different if the baby was from an adoption agency who distorts the truth and inform you that the baby’s father died from a road accident instead of a heart attack. Because they know if they tell you the truth, you will think twice about it and then again, how are you to verify what the adoption agency say?
Perhaps you should just bring the baby for the entire medical test and see how it goes. Unless if the tests reveal a serious problem, then its your call how you want to handle it. Bear in mind that tests done for new born babies may not be accurate as they can sometimes be energetic during the tests which can possibly skew the results.
Also bear in mind that sometimes the possibility of a baby come to us from nowhere and its was never among the choices you have seen or carried. Seriously, Alessandra came to us from nowhere and was never in our plans as we always thought we need to go thru an adoption agency. So we were so focused on that route. So explore all possibilities and listen to your heart, cos sometimes that’s where God speaks to us.
Hope I am making sense in the above… |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 343
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 27, 2008 - 9:55 pm: |
|
Dear Chris
of course you make sense, I understand every word you wrote...now we're waiting for our contact to find out more details such as the EDD (expected due date) of baby for us. We're also making enquiries with cord blood companies here on how to collect and store baby's cord blood from KL. Honestly, we are excited but we know the road ahead is still very long for us... |
Mocha (moca)
New member
Username: moca
Post Number: 35
Registered: 8-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, February 28, 2008 - 3:55 pm: |
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Hi Angle,
I totally agree with Chris, just follow your heart.You know the best what you really want.
But of cause still need to go for medical check up to see if everything is ok or not.
You know my BB girl medical report say that she have thalassemia but she is still very small and don't really know which type she have. When we first know the results we still think that it should be ok to adopt her cos we think that it is not a very serious type of deasese. This may be because my own family have this medical backgroud. Doctor has warn us that there is a type of thelassemia is very dangerous and the person who has it may only live 6-7 year. So he want us to go for another medical check up to see if it is ok or not. And the results still can not conclude what type of thelessemia she have. But doctor advice us that she should be OK.
Now we have her and we are happily living together and we think make a correct decision to adopt her. |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 124
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Friday, February 29, 2008 - 10:15 am: |
|
Hi,
Concerning the 'follow your heart' thing, yes, do that to a certain extent. Don't ignore your head too. If the medical report shows up or suspects something, you may want to reconsider. Yes, it is very noble to adopt a baby which has a medical condition. But do consider this - if the child requires life-time medical treatment, do you have the financial resources to see him/her through? Are you able to take the mental and physical strain? Will there be resentment and regret later? It is true that even if the medical report turns out fine, other things (touch wood!) could develop later - this is a risk we have to take. That is what the medical report is for - otherwise, why bother to check before we bring the baby home? For me, I had told myself to draw a very distinct line between a 'yes' and a 'no' when it comes to bringing the right baby home. It's both for the child's and the adoptive family's own good. Did anyone read about the Dutch diplomat's family who adopted the Korean child? It's scary and sad. |
Mocha (moca)
New member
Username: moca
Post Number: 36
Registered: 8-2007
| | Posted on Friday, February 29, 2008 - 1:31 pm: |
|
Hi,
We never think that we are noble to adopt our girl before. Reason why we adopted her because we are quite confident that the thalassemia will not affect her to live normally when she growth up. This was advice by our doctor and also haif of our family member have this thalessmia but all of them live normally without any problem and did not depend on any medication. And the one who passed down this thalessmia to my family member is my father and now he is 94 yrs old and still very healthy.
Whether to adopt a child with medical history or not, its all depend on individual judgement.I guess the best is to consult doctor advice. |
Chelah Ann (chelah)
New member
Username: chelah
Post Number: 1
Registered: 2-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, March 01, 2008 - 12:54 am: |
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Is it possible for Singapore couples to adopt from Vietnam?
Is it true that Malaysians cannot adopt foreign babies?
I heard that the govt of NZ, UK and Australia will not issue assurance that the child will have citizenship when the adoption is finalised. Is it true.
I heard Malaysia, Indonesia and Philippines have residency rules for adoptive parents.
There are so much constraints for expatriates to adopt children in Singapore.
Can anyone share with me how they successful complete their adoption.
Thanks and I hope those who had success share their success tips with potential adoptive parents. |
Elizabeth (natelize)
New member
Username: natelize
Post Number: 43
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Saturday, March 01, 2008 - 5:50 am: |
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Hi Chelah,
I do know that NZ will not give citizenship to children who are adopted. As I am a nz citizen, how if the children does stay in nz for 2 years there may be a chance.
Hope this helps |
Chelah Ann (chelah)
New member
Username: chelah
Post Number: 2
Registered: 2-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2008 - 1:09 am: |
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Dear Elizabeth,
If NZ cannot grant citizenship, then MCYS cannot accept the home study report. That means an NZ expatriate in Singapore cannot legalize the adoption in Singapore. Correct me if I am wrong. |
Elizabeth (natelize)
New member
Username: natelize
Post Number: 44
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, March 02, 2008 - 6:42 am: |
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Well it all depends on what ur citizenship is.
I know if u are an expat you will have to check with ur country first....like get the police clear |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 391
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 04, 2008 - 12:13 pm: |
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hi everyone
bad news. The baby whom we're intending to adopt, initially middlemen told us her dad died of heart attack. This morning, I manage to contact the babysitter directly and she told me he actually committed suicide due to being heavily in debts. complicated story.
Well, the past 1 week, hubby and I have been eagerly waiting for baby's arrival, hunting for baby items to do up the room etc. Now with this news, our hopes are shattered. Personally, I don't think I want a baby whose father just ended his own life. Can imagine the trauma and emotional stress baby's mum underwent while carrying her. I feel sad for the unborn baby but we are not Saviours to the world, if we're spending so much to adopt a baby, it isn't too much to ask for a healthy baby (physically and emotionally) or at least one from a relatively uncomplicated background right? Honestly, am very confused and disheartened now...feel sad at yet another closed door and dunno how to tell middlemen about our decision. Maybe it's God way of hinting to us that we shouldn't adopt as we are never meant to be parents. |
Frisbee (frisbee)
Junior Member
Username: frisbee
Post Number: 309
Registered: 6-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 04, 2008 - 12:30 pm: |
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Hi Angel,
I accidentally stumbled upon this thread...
I hope you will give the baby a chance, if you are to adopt a baby from a orphanage you will never really know what happened to the biological parents, for all you know, 1 of them may have passed away unnaturally. Perhaps the baby's mother does not want to keep her for all the sad memories she brings. However for you, her background can be put behind once she leave KL...
Sorry I don't know why I come to this thread, I don't know why I posted but I felt strongly that I should post something, at least I tried... |
Elizabeth (natelize)
New member
Username: natelize
Post Number: 47
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 04, 2008 - 9:10 pm: |
|
Hi Angel,
I just read what u said and wanted to add a few things. It is never the childs fault what goes on with the parents. But what I think u should really think about is why are u adopting? To give a child a fighting chance in this world, to love them when there is no-one too love them, adopting is never to replace or pretend that they are really yours. I mean u really need to know in the inside of u if this child is yours to start off with. God is the father of all and he would never reject any child so I really sorry if this sounds hard but I really think u have to think hard on why u are adopting. In an adopting I always believe it works both ways the child never asked to be adopted into a family its us who chose them, so if ur heart is not for the child and giving them the best then may be u are not ready.
sorry for being hush....but I am very passionate about adoption as I have also adopted a little girl |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 125
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 05, 2008 - 12:02 am: |
|
Hi Angel,
I'm surprised that you feel this way. How is it that it's 'God's way of hinting' to you that you were never meant to be parents?
To me, this baby is the PERFECT candidate for adoption. He/she needs a loving and complete home. We can only guess the mum's emotional stress (maybe the r/ship with the father is not good? endless 'maybe' here) and we can also only guess if she is indeed emotionally stressed while carrying the baby, the baby will be emotionally affected.
If another baby comes along, will you wonder what his/her background is? I would say that most babies who are given up comes from 'complicated' backgrounds - why else would they be given up?
I'm not saying that you should adopt this baby - please don't if you do not feel right about her at all.
As Elizabeth mentioned, do think about your reasons for wanting to adopt and whether you have a lot of love to give.
Adopting a child and bringing him/her up, is a long emotional journey. You must be prepared for that. The hardest part will be the beginning when you feel a sense of loss for biological parents (especially the mother), pity for the child, wondering if you have come between the child and the parents - at least that's what I felt. And I always remind myself that I ask for this child to be in our family and not vice versa. Lots of emotional stuff going on... you have to be prepared. |
gracian (gracian)
Junior Member
Username: gracian
Post Number: 131
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 05, 2008 - 2:12 am: |
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hi angel
i agree with what the previous mums said in their posts.
i think you and your HB should seriously consider if you truely want to be parents. God is not closing the door but think of Him wanting you to shower extra love on the baby.
pls consider carefully before you contact the middleman. |
VQ (vinegarqueen)
Member
Username: vinegarqueen
Post Number: 1588
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 05, 2008 - 7:54 am: |
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Hi Angel,
I think you should reconsider your adoption decision. Like Frisbee mentioned: If you adopt a baby from an orphanage, you will never really know what had happened to the biological parents!
If you have so many considerations, you will not be able to find ur "perfect baby". You will find yourself "picking" reason of rejecting the baby instead.
Sorry but you keep me thinking of whether, will you be able to love ur adopted baby if u have ur biological child in future.
Lastly, i hope you will seriously reconsider your adoption decision with ur DH. Please remember: Adoption is not the medicine to ease your desperation of having a baby. Perhaps, you are not ready for adoption.
Or maybe, there is a miscommunication. You dont mean it this way at all. |
angel (babymaybe)
Junior Member
Username: babymaybe
Post Number: 398
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 05, 2008 - 9:14 am: |
|
I am very sad to read that all of you are questioning our intent to adopt. None of you have buried your children and never in your wildest dream can imagine the immense grief and heartache that my hubby and I have gone through. Yet we picked ourselves up and moved on, even plucked up courage to embark on this adoption journey as we know we are capable of loving and giving a future to a child not our own.
I am not finding the perfect baby neither are we looking for a replacements but being so new to adoption, we have our ideals - we would like to adopt a baby from a couple who has to give up their child due to poor financial crisis. In fact, we don't mind travelling to some poor obscure villages in China, visiting the families who are giving their babies up for adoption, speaking to the parents and assuring them their baby's in good hands. In our case, the baby's father's violent death took us by shock. We can't help but question how the mum took the news and whether it would adversely affect the child. Yes, if we adopt from an orphanage, we would not know the child's background but sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
Initially when we heard baby's father died of heart attack, we didn't reject her. Infact, we felt compassion and even discussed with cord banks here the possibility of arranging blood collection kit to be sent all the way to KL to collect her cord blood upon delivery. All these arrangements were done even before we see the baby. So how can all of you make such hasty judgement that we are not ready to adopt?
This forum has been my source of inspiration and support all these while in our decision to adopt but I guess I am too foolish to post such honest struggles here out in the open to be criticised. But thank you for posting anyway. |
coolmosz (coolmosz)
New member
Username: coolmosz
Post Number: 32
Registered: 5-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 05, 2008 - 10:15 am: |
|
Hi Angel,
I'm an adoptive mother too and have been a silent reader of this thread.
Your condition for the child is that she must be given up 'due to poor financial crisis'. Well this one fits the bill right? How would the father's death adversely affect the unborn baby? There is no scientific evidence on such effects?
As for my experience, my child's parents sought to give her up through the Yellow Pages - what does that tell you of her parents? Desperate? Cruel? Heartless? How has she been 'treated' while still in her mother's womb? Yes, her parents were in extreme financial difficulties too.
But she was a happy baby from day one, very friendly and is now growing very well, very active and talkative. No adverse effects at all.
Maybe you should calm down and ask yourselves what/how/why is it that the father's violent death is affecting you so much. List down the reasons, go thru' them and see if they are really rational. It's good to do a list, otherwise, with too many thoughts swimming in your head(s), it'll be difficult to think clearly.
If you really do not want to adopt this one, perhaps someone else here may want to be 'connected' to adopt her instead?
Will pray for you folks that you'll find an answer soon.
Peace with you always. |
happy (coping)
New member
Username: coping
Post Number: 45
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 05, 2008 - 2:35 pm: |
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hi angel
i think it must be hard on you.. all your past experience must have some effect on you. I am a mummy of 1 very desperate to have another one and i thought of adoption too but a lot of what if in my mind.. if the pregnant mum takes drug or has history of mental illness etc etc.
but for your case it could be another scenario that maybe the husband was a wife abuser and always beat the wife n after he died the wife is relived from the suffering?
I came from a broken family and my parents was always arguing and fighting and only divorced when i was in my 30s. We been thru days without water and electricity and my mom always cursing that my dad will died when i was young.
recently my husband's friend ( very well off stayed in a big house and has 3 maids) adopted a baby from a local unwed mum of age 16..i was like how i wish i was adopted by a good family( no need to be rich but a family where there is lots of love) when i am young instead of staying in a chaotic one.. though me and siblings went to uni but we were very unhappy grown up with lots of emotional baggage.
Been a Christian i know i can pray and that what i did when i was pregnant with my 1st child, i cut off all ungodly soul tie with mine and spouse past generation. Throughout the 9th mths i prayed for my child's health right to finding a spouse for him ( kia su right)
So i am thinking that you can pray for the child u are intending to adopt (just like she is in your womb) and if you sense the peace why not receive her cos her parents might have their past but she is a clean sheet of paper which you and your spouse guide and lead her and she might turn out to be someone beautiful despite her past.
i know it is not easy for you and your spouse cos i know i am still not mentally prepared to adopt a child.
i saw in other thread (WTB) your excitement to have a baby and to prepare for her arrival and never doubt your sincerity about the baby.
just curious if u have not known abt the past and just seen the baby at the hospital..will it be love at first sight?
do take care! |
MLF (mlf)
New member
Username: mlf
Post Number: 3
Registered: 2-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, March 06, 2008 - 8:01 am: |
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Hi Angel,
I'm sure all members here have no intention to be harsh on you. Adoption is a personal decision and if you really feel it is not right, don't proceed. It is just that most of us here do not understand why how the father died could be a reason to deter you from adopting the child.
I do not know the background of the baby I adopted. Before the adoption, my hubby and myself did a checklist on info we need e.g. why the baby was given up for adoption, family medical history, number of siblings etc. However, after we see the baby, all these questions are no longer important. We did tried to find out but there was no answer so far. Anyway, whatever reason given by the natural parents may not be true. Our main concern now is to shower the baby with all the love and care she missed from her natural parents.
I do agree that sometimes ignorance is bliss. Hope you will not feel disheartened and stop posting here. Take care! |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 126
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Friday, March 07, 2008 - 10:25 am: |
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Hi everyone,
Have you heard of Lifebooks or have already done one for your child? I bought this book called 'Lifebooks - creating a treasure for the adopted child' a couple of years ago and have only pulled it out to read now. And it is good! I planned to do a Lifebook for my son years ago but had been procrastinating. Now reading this gives me all the info I need to get it started. If you don't have this book, go to the author's (Beth O'Malley) site at http://www.adoptionlifebooks.com/.
Then maybe we can share pointers. I really believe that a Lifebook for our children (even for biological ones) is good for them and us.
What do you think? |
Elizabeth (natelize)
New member
Username: natelize
Post Number: 48
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Friday, March 07, 2008 - 11:15 am: |
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Hi Cat,
I have that book it is great. I did do a simple one for my daughter but I would love to do a real good one as she is now grown and I would like her be apart of doing somethings in it. |
Phoebe Low (phoebelow)
Junior Member
Username: phoebelow
Post Number: 356
Registered: 11-2007
| | Posted on Saturday, March 08, 2008 - 9:26 am: |
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Angel,
I understand how you feel. It must have been a hard decision for you and your hubby as well...
don't think too much.Maybe you can think it this way.
Maybe God is not closing the door... maybe God is trying to test if you can give Uncondition Love to everyone including the baby just like how He love everyone regardless of who we are and what we are?
i hope you don't get us wrong. i believe we mummies over here care for you that's why we share our views. Regardless of what decision you make, we will still try to help you when time is bad.
Since we cant choose the nature of our child if we are pregnant, why not adopt the child and nuture the child the way you want the child to be regardless of the background of the child?
Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Hebrews 5:13
Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness.
** I am not a Christian, so i am not trying to preach to you. I just read the bible for knowledge. Pls don't get me wrong. My only intention is my care, concern and love for you and your family.
I always believe you can be a great mum. So what ever your decision maybe, JIA YOU. |
VQ (vinegarqueen)
Member
Username: vinegarqueen
Post Number: 1597
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Monday, March 10, 2008 - 3:46 pm: |
|
Hi all,
Just received a letter fm MCYS, stating that we can nw open a "Matching" account for my younger DD!!
Younger DD is getting cuter each day. She is very well-loved by our family! Time flies. She is already 9mths old nw! To think back, we saw her the 1st time, when she was 2wks old!!! Brought her home, 1 day after she was exactly 1mth old!! Attended my elder bro's wedding on the following day!!! And she slept through the wedding ceremony n dinner! hahaha...
She is nw on semi-solid food. I am enjoying myself when planning, preparing her 'menu'! hahaha... She loves mashed potatoes, mashed carrot, mashed japanese pumpkin(infor: Jap pumpkin's skin can be eaten, after steaming, skin will be very soft),etc.. For fruits, she loves mashed banana, mashed apple n HEINZ Plum Delights(for her to poo easily!) hehehe...
Elder DD is so curious of little sister's food. She wanted to taste a spoonful every time! I really enjoy myself for feeding her too! I seldom hv the chance to do it when my elder DD was a baby! |
Chelah Ann (chelah)
New member
Username: chelah
Post Number: 3
Registered: 2-2008
| | Posted on Monday, March 10, 2008 - 7:05 pm: |
|
Dear VQ,
You brought her home within 2 weeks. That's super fast. It's a joy to see your child grow day by day. Adoption allows us to enjoy parenthood. As adoptive parents, we share your joy. |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 127
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 4:42 pm: |
|
Hi VQ,
I know what you mean - it's so enjoyable when they are babies. Enjoy her babyhood while you can 'cos time really flies! My son is 3.5 years old now and I really miss the times when he was a baby. Every time I look at his baby pictures, I will sigh - it all seemed like not too long ago - but now he is already talking back and knows how to 'negotiate' deals! But still cute lah - just that I miss carrying a cuddly, chubby and cute baby and have people playing with him whenever we are out. Sigh! (again)... |
VQ (vinegarqueen)
Member
Username: vinegarqueen
Post Number: 1651
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, March 15, 2008 - 12:06 am: |
|
Guess what? my younger DD started baby talking!!! I realise the LuLi Channel on MIO TV is good. It do catches my girl attention. But some programs r too early for her.(5am ~ 7am). So i watch it n teach her myself. Eg. Open n Close of palms. When we say: Open Close. She will reach out both her hands n her palm will go Open n Close.
Few days ago, realise she had learnt "Bye-Bye!" She started waving at whosoever seems like leaving her... Brought her for briskwalking in the morning, when i pass by a crowded bus-stop. Ppl look at her, then she started waving at them n seems like saying "Bye Bye!" fm her stroller. I think this must hv brighten those ppl days, to c such a little baby waving Bye bye to them!! hahhaa....
She seems to enjoy my briskwalking session and the cool morning FRESH air breeze!
Oh! She started smiling too! When she smile, u will c winkles on her nose, her mouth open wide but u cannot c her eyes cos they turn into a line!! hahha.... |
Tracey Escalante (cheekybaby)
New member
Username: cheekybaby
Post Number: 3
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, March 15, 2008 - 10:05 am: |
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Okay, I am about to blow..... I received an email from a girlfriend of mine who is looking into adoption and was visiting this site. She notified me because "Fox Family" is being bashed and she knew that untruths were being told. My name is Tracey. My husband and I have adopted three (3), yes three children through Fox Family. And I believe the little girl we recieved must be the one Chris (Crany) decided not to adopt. If Chris would have taken a fraction of the time to investigate the country where the child was coming from that he has invested in bad mouthing a company, he wouldn't sound like such an idiot. The Philipines is an extremely poor county, especially in the mountains which is where the babies were coming from. I have had to have patience, as everyone does when adoption is occuring. But I can personally say, the Philipines do not work like most countries. They process at their own pace and no one can demand more of them. I have personally met and worked with the social worker invovled with this agency in the Philipines and yes, they do tend to drop the ball at times....but you MUST realize the number of children they are rescueing every day and trying to feed and there are way too few social workers. I can only say, yes God works in his own way, and Agatha was not meant for you. She is an absolutely beautiful child and I am blessed to have her. I was outraged when she showed back up on the site to find out her prespective AP backed out. I immediately told Irene we wanted her. While I am very happy for you and your wife to have found what you wanted, you shouldn't judge others until you actually walk in their shoes. My husband and I investigate their backgrounds and take time to know about the area and visit on numerous occassions.
As for support groups.........yes there are support groups that meet once a month. SACAC which is located in the American Embasy. You do not need to be an American to attend their meetings. Just call them and give them your email address and you will receive emails as to when they have meetings. They are very good and informative with actual people speaking that have been through the complete process.
So for what it is worth, you will always incounter people who have a negative experience and believe that everyone should feel the same way. Please check out for yourself on all agencies before making decisions. I stand behind Fox Family 200% percent!!!! |
Chelah Ann (chelah)
New member
Username: chelah
Post Number: 4
Registered: 2-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, March 15, 2008 - 4:25 pm: |
|
Chris badmouth Irene of Fox Family and this damage her reputation and cast a negative impression in the minds of the readers.
I know Irene personally and it is only right to show you another side of the story. I was with her with she visits her clients. I visit the children home that she set up, I saw the caregivers and the children in the home. I followed her as she travelled hours deep into the remote villages to meet the biological parents. There are many good works she had done quietly behind the scene.
Irene is one who walks the talk. She is an adopted child herself. She also adopts 2 children into her home. So she knows intimately the feeling of her clients cos she had walk their path before. How many adoption agencies owners walk the talk by adopting children?
While other adoption agencies merely act as middleman between biological parents and adoptive parents, she goes beyond. She started a home in Philippines and take in abandoned children, with caregivers to look after them 7 days a week 24 hours a day. There is no funding nor sponsorship. Every cent comes from her pocket. She does not take a salary. She takes all the risk for the health of the children in her home. I know what's it is like cos I flew there to visit the home. I spent a week in the children home.
She is particular about her clients. If she feels the clients are not able to provide the children a loving secured environment, she will not let them adopt 'her' children. If you want to adopt through her, she will visit your house for a chat.
Irene is honest, transparent and upfront about the adoption process. Whether it is good news or bad news, she will tell you straight honestly. Some other agencies will tell you only the good stuff and hide the bad stuff. You can see the photos on her websites. Other don't.
There are hiccups in other countries that are beyond our control. Their systems are not as efficient as Singapore. Authorities there change schedule and their minds at will.
So please, don't jump to conclusion based on hearsay.
Like Tracey, I stand behind Fox Family 100%. |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 68
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Monday, March 17, 2008 - 10:30 am: |
|
To Tracey and Chelah,
Everyone is entitled to their opinions and so are we. We had a horrible emotional experience and as responsible people, we need to share with the world our experiences.
I suggest that either of you stop pepetrating as compassionate individuals emailing me asking for details with Fox only to come online and slam me and the whole situation. I have no respect for such people as you just demeaned and showed no respect for the emotional rollarcoaster we went through.
To Chelah, please note that if you wished to continue with your slander of my character by saying I "badmouth" the agency, I suggest you better start to seek legal advice.
One bad horrible experience is bad enough to deter the use of that agency. Enough said! To those who feel enlighten by the postings of Chelah Ann and Tracey, go ahead with your choice of the agency. If you too encounter the same bullshit we got, its your own problem! |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 69
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Monday, March 17, 2008 - 11:04 am: |
|
To Tracy/ Chelah,
I dont know you and neither do I wish to. You have no right to throw, demean, devalue what my wife and I went through with that agency. You may be friends with her but obviously you must be really blind to see the truth. But whatever it is I dont care and if you really want to reopen and talk about it in the open, remember that matter was settled legally and if she is pushing you online to help increase her business, the matter can be legally reopened. Let the truth be told and it will certainly hurt your friend’s business even more.
Chelah, please stop emailing me to enquire about the details with the agency only to come online and slander me. That’s cheap and shows a severe lack of honest character! You both have no right to call me an idiot or said I badmouth her agency cos what we experience was real and not made up! I do not even know you idiots too and coming online to slander and scold me is something else. I strongly advice you both to seek legal advice on this matter before it becomes very very ugly.
If the two of you are coming online to drum up business for the agency, go ahead and good luck. To all those who now feel enlighten with the postings of Tracey and Chelah, go ahead with your plans with the agency. I don’t care but DO NOT EVER think we rejected Agatha! That agency made it completely impossible to continue with the arrangement. So Tracey and Chelah, do not awake a sleeping lion, cos you will not know how and when its going to come back and bite!
We are all like you both, adoptive parents, some had good experiences, some bad and some very ugly. So we need to share and learnt from one another. You two obviously had alternative plans for this thread cos the Fox discussion topic has died down only now to be alive all over again. Whatever your plans are, please do not destroy the postings on this thread and do not make people not come online to share. This is not your personal thread to discuss about your friend, there are other topics more enjoyable to discuss about adoption than that agency or your friend and certaintly not about your two! |
Elizabeth (natelize)
New member
Username: natelize
Post Number: 56
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Monday, March 17, 2008 - 9:09 pm: |
|
Hey guys,
calm down the foundation of this thread I believe was the children we adopted and helping others along the way. I believe most of us that come here is to seek knowledge and advice. Tracy/Chelah I'm not really sure what is going on and i don't really want to know but this was a calm place. Chris calm down i know u are just letting of steam, and things happen for a reason and you did what was right for u and ur wife at the time. |
Elizabeth (natelize)
New member
Username: natelize
Post Number: 57
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Monday, March 17, 2008 - 9:10 pm: |
|
Its really sad to see this war |
TE (cheekybaby)
New member
Username: cheekybaby
Post Number: 4
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 18, 2008 - 11:42 am: |
|
Chris,
I have NO idea who Chelah is. I am not conspiring to get information out of you. I have three babies as I have said and am extremely busy with little time for such games. I am not trying to drum up business, make false statements, etc.....whatever else you seem to think up. As I said, my girlfriend emailed me about this so I responded. You say it was a horrible emotional experience.....I simply said, you needed to not put your emotions in front of the needy children and understand that some things are out of the agency's hands when it comes to adopting foreign children. Your adoption is NOT the only one taking place, as they have numerous rescued children coming in at all hours, mothers needing food to feed the little ones, family's needing counseling, etc.... Some adoptions are smooth, some are rough. But if you are truly wanting a child, and in my opion if you had bonded emotionally with the child like you said, you should have stuck out the rough for the beauty at the end. It is one thing to talk about the rough experience, and a completely different thing to bash the agency for something that is out of their hands. And again like I said, maybe you should have visited the country more and learned how things go there. There is no need for you to use vulgarity on this site neither. That is immature. I will inform Irene of the responses on this site so she can read about the slander of her character which I am sure is grounds for legal counsil, since I am an attorney and know these things. I hope everyone has not been to put out by this sinceless nonsence, if so, I do appologize to those. Good day. |
Chris (crany)
New member
Username: crany
Post Number: 70
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 18, 2008 - 8:48 pm: |
|
TE,
You obviously have no idea what my wife and I went through. I am not obligated to explain but in case you are still ignorant, I cut short my trip from the US and my wife and I flew to the Philippines. We saw everything and went to the children homes. We gained a good knowledge of the surrounding areas, the mother’s circumstances and we met, spoke and had lunch with the people who were looking after the children. We spent a considerable amount of time with Agatha and we visited her again the next day. If my memory serves me, we went to the home at least 2 or 3 times. We bought stuffs for the home, clothes, diapers and a fan cos they were really really lacking. We saw everything.
You now have Agatha and we believe she is in a good place. Whatever it is this topic is now closed, if you want to continue with this discussion, its your own topic for discussion. I still stand by what I said cos we are certainly not Hollywood movie producers who dramatize the situation for our own benefit. This maybe the case in America but certainly not in Singapore. We did not gained anything but we lost a whole lot more. What we went through was very real, a very emotionally painful, a very hurtful and a very disappointed, disillusioned time for not only my wife and I, but also for our extended families all over. Thank you very much for re-opening the healed wounds.
This discussion is now officially closed (if I may) and whoever chooses to continue with this thread, can continue by yourself with no further contributions from me. This thread has turned into a place which has become very hostile. This used to be a place for sharing the joys and tribulations of us going through the adoption process but not anymore. It used to be a very nice place but unfortunately not anymore. My further contribution to this thread will now cease. Hope all your adoption progress proceeds smoothly and may the babies may the same joy, happiness and completeness to your lives as our daughter has brought us. Thank you and have a happy and pleasant adoption year ahead! |
Donna Chiu (chiukt)
New member
Username: chiukt
Post Number: 1
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, March 20, 2008 - 7:09 pm: |
|
I and my husband are planning to adopt a Chinese baby from overseas (Malaysia / Indonesia). May I know if anybody can recommend any good adoption agency? Tks. |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 135
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Friday, March 21, 2008 - 12:10 am: |
|
Hi Donna,
Please read the archives of this thread. |
Elizabeth (natelize)
New member
Username: natelize
Post Number: 58
Registered: 12-2007
| | Posted on Friday, March 21, 2008 - 6:38 am: |
|
Hi Donna,
email me at noddybay@yahoo.com |
VQ (vinegarqueen)
Member
Username: vinegarqueen
Post Number: 1704
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, March 27, 2008 - 5:23 pm: |
|
Hi all,
How r u getting on? Fine?
Anyone adopted a baby recently? Pls share ur joy here! |
Donna (chiukt)
New member
Username: chiukt
Post Number: 2
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, March 29, 2008 - 9:19 pm: |
|
I've just submitted my application for HSR on Thu. It took me 3 weeks to complete the form and collate all the required documents. I'm very glad that finally I'm one step closer to adoption.
Once the HSR is done, I can start looking for potential babies. I'm so eager to wait for that day to come! |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 136
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, March 29, 2008 - 11:48 pm: |
|
Hi Donna,
Welcome to the thread!
We are always excited when someone starts the adoption process. Please keep us updated and we might be able to provide some advice if you should need any. |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 138
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, March 30, 2008 - 12:16 am: |
|
Hi everybody,
I have started a new thread concerning bringing up adopted children and asking for experiences of mummies and daddies who were adopted.
The thread is here http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/5/1326045.html
You might want to 'tag' on to this new thread, in case I get some responses that may useful for us. |
toh lyne (tohlyne)
New member
Username: tohlyne
Post Number: 4
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Friday, April 04, 2008 - 12:42 am: |
|
hi donna cant pm u, pls email me if u r serious bout adopting lynetoh@hotmail.com |
Donna (chiukt)
New member
Username: chiukt
Post Number: 3
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Friday, April 11, 2008 - 11:33 pm: |
|
I'm going for the HSR interview with Touch on Monday. Is there anything I should take note of? |
toh lyne (tohlyne)
New member
Username: tohlyne
Post Number: 5
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Monday, April 14, 2008 - 9:11 pm: |
|
hi donna i didnt receive your email, can u email me again |
Donna (chiukt)
New member
Username: chiukt
Post Number: 4
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Monday, April 14, 2008 - 10:29 pm: |
|
Hi Lyne, I've just sent you an email. Hope you will receive it this time. Alternatively, you can email me directly at jondon@singnet.com.sg |
Donna (chiukt)
New member
Username: chiukt
Post Number: 5
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Monday, April 14, 2008 - 10:47 pm: |
|
Touch Adoption Service is organising an adoption conference on attachment issues from 3 - 7 May. Anybody who is interested can visit their website or the following link for more details.
http://www.tcs.org.sg/pdf/adoption_conference.pdf |
pinkpixel (pinkpixel)
New member
Username: pinkpixel
Post Number: 12
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Monday, April 21, 2008 - 9:59 am: |
|
Hi All,
I am seriously thinking about adoption. Can anyone advise if its possible to adopt a baby from China & which are the reputable agencies in S'pore? |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 158
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Monday, April 21, 2008 - 4:34 pm: |
|
Hi pinkpixel,
You can try the non-profit organisation Touch Community Services (TCS): http://adoption.tcs.org.sg/
Note that for adoption from China, by the time you get your baby, she will be more than 1 year old. Call TCS for more details, even for general adoption info. |
Donna (chiukt)
New member
Username: chiukt
Post Number: 8
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Monday, April 21, 2008 - 10:36 pm: |
|
Hi pinkpixel
You have to go thru Touch Community or Fei Yue for adoption in China, both are non-profit organisations. Other private adoption agencies will not be able to arrange that. |
HsuLL (hsull)
New member
Username: hsull
Post Number: 1
Registered: 4-2008
| | Posted on Friday, April 25, 2008 - 3:40 pm: |
|
Hi All,
I'm new to this forum but I've been following this thread especially since my husband and I are planning to adopt a baby.
Your sharing, info and comments have been very helpful (Catherine, Chris, VQ, Elizabeth)I'd like to say thanks to you all.It looks like you have a good community going here!
We are now in the process of filling in the HSR with SBL.
I have personal contacts in Malaysia and Indonesia so we are hoping to adopt from either of these 2 countries. This means that we're not going through an adoption agency.
Can someone here help me out with what we need to do since we're not engaging an adoption agency. From what I have read here,looks like the list includes the letter of agreement from the birth parents to give the child up for adoption and the birth certificate. What else do we need to do in terms of paperwork and if the child does not have a passport, who has to apply for it? Doing it ourselves is a bit scary without the adoption agency as we're not sure what we need to know.
Chris, it seems you may have some similar experience- would you be able to share any helpful info pls.
I'm a S'porean currently living in KL. My husband is a Spore PR.
Thanks in advance |
Catherine (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 166
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Friday, April 25, 2008 - 4:04 pm: |
|
Hi hsull,
Welcome! It's good to have a new member after the recent 'unhappiness'.
My advice will be to get a lawyer who is familiar with adoption proceedings to help you. This will be the safest way. If you want, I can recommend the one I used.
Go to this link from MCYS to get the info you need:
http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/ChildrenNParenthood/AdoptAChild/ |
VQ (vinegarqueen)
Member
Username: vinegarqueen
Post Number: 1805
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Friday, April 25, 2008 - 6:17 pm: |
|
HsuLL,
Welcome onboard! Without the help of adoption agency, will means u hv to do most of the things yourself! But another thing is, Save $$$! You will need a doc. fm a lawyer of whichever country u adopted fm. this docs must hv signatures of both birth parents, they agreed to give up their particular child for adoption. Passport, of cos must be done by the birth parents! You must definitely find an experienced lawyer who is familiar with adoption papers, fm both Spore n the country u adopt fm. Catherine n i used the same lawyer. And i must say, this lawyer is VERY GOOD n EXPERIENCE!!
Keep us update of ur good news! |
Donna (chiukt)
New member
Username: chiukt
Post Number: 9
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, April 26, 2008 - 12:14 am: |
|
Hi hsull
Since you intend to adopt from Malaysia, you may find the info on adoption in Malaysia useful in the following link (if your husband is a Malaysian):
http://www.britishhighcommission.gov.uk/servlet/Front?pagename=OpenMarket/Xcelerate/ShowPage&c=Page&cid=1033145356539
Nevertheless, I'm not sure how the adoption agency can bypass the above and get the babies out from Malaysia. If they can do it, there must be a way. |
pinkpixel (pinkpixel)
New member
Username: pinkpixel
Post Number: 13
Registered: 3-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, April 26, 2008 - 8:12 pm: |
|
Hi All,
Thank you for the information. Actually, hubby & me wants a chinese baby. Doesn't matter boy or girl. From what I have read so far, most of the babies for adoption through agencies here are from the philipines. Is that true?
VQ & Catherine,
Can you share which adoption agency that you both use? |
catyeo (catyeo)
Junior Member
Username: catyeo
Post Number: 171
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, April 26, 2008 - 11:57 pm: |
|
Hi pinkpixel,
Both VQ and I used the agency Shun Fa. I had recommended it in this forum (see archives) and VQ picked up on it. I think another couple of mummies also used Shun Fa after reading this forum, although they did not contribute here. Not sure if Shun Fa is still active in this businesss 'cos one mum did call them earlier this year and was told that it's now quite difficult to get pure Chinese babies from M'sia as some may be of mixed parentage. But no harm giving them a call as so far, Shun Fa has given good service.
Chinese babies can also come from M'sia or Indonesia or locally. Not true that most babies for adoption from agencies are from the Philippines. |
Matters Of The Heart