| Author |
Message |
    
WhiteClover (whiteclover)
Junior Member
Username: whiteclover
Post Number: 133
Registered: 10-2009
| | Posted on Monday, June 21, 2010 - 12:54 am: | 
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hi,sad to hear that. im a gg to be divorcee.
with one son and fighting custody care n ctrl now. legal fees drowning me... and $500 fm that man in our joint acct for household deduction. struggling with my only paycheck. sad sad sad. today i m upset over my child and thot i shld quit n spend time with my child. however thinking of the $ i need to pay to my lawyer n staying w aged folks at home. Haiz.. im extremely upset... |
Derek (reportersg)
New member
Username: reportersg
Post Number: 15
Registered: 12-2008
| | Posted on Friday, October 08, 2010 - 10:16 am: |
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shi chi,
Have you made a decision? Or are you near delivery date? |
sadwife2009 (sadwife2009)
New member
Username: sadwife2009
Post Number: 21
Registered: 6-2009
| | Posted on Monday, October 11, 2010 - 2:25 am: |
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i have given up on the potential new relationship that i may have.
i have decided to give my marriage another chance, for the sake of my son. even though it will be tough, i believe there is still hope.
i am putting it down, it serves as reminder to the commitment i have made.
I will have to start working on the things i have in control, that is myself. Had a good reflection, and realised i have lot of shortcoming.
i do not have a very good temper, i will try to control it. have been reading up on anger management and will want to practice it.
I do not know how to communicate well, and most of the times, my words/actions do not reflect what i really have in mind.
i do not know how to be "small woman" which is what my husband need. Will work on it and try to be waak and helpless at times.
I think too much of what i have done and lesser of what he has tried.
will work on them.
even if my hubby may not be so willing to cooperate now, at least 50% of the marriage is willing and that is a lot.
pray to God tat he will bless my family and make my marriage work again. that my husband can see my efforts, appreciates them and put in his. This will be a long journey for me, i know. but the other option, is in my opinion, worse off. Although i will always go back and revisit this issue everytime i am angry, i hope the frequency will reduce over time, until i am happily married again. |
Samantha Ban (sammieban)
New member
Username: sammieban
Post Number: 15
Registered: 9-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, November 25, 2010 - 8:28 pm: |
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hey sadwife2009. i know exactly how u feel. i was in the same position about 8 months ago.. now i'm a young single parent! and i've never felt happier.. yea u feel lonely sometimes.. just go out!! u need to get out sometimes.. get to know more people..  |
noriszah (izah)
New member
Username: izah
Post Number: 57
Registered: 5-2010
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2011 - 1:49 pm: |
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Hi, Have been married for 6 years...have tried everything but still nothing... so i hope if there r any sincere moms who willing to let me adopt their baby/child...i will love them as my own...i hope somebody can light up my marriage life...do email me @noriszah_idris@yahoo.com.sg |
Siti Amirah Saib (creamycakes)
New member
Username: creamycakes
Post Number: 1
Registered: 10-2011
| | Posted on Saturday, October 29, 2011 - 12:56 pm: |
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I'm a single mom at 22 yrs old. My son is 8 month old, 2.9weeks premature. So roughly around 6 months? My story is a little similar to other ladies here.
I was 21 when I found out I was pregnant with my ex-bf's baby. That time, I had a job so when months passed by, I didn't knew I was pregnant until 4 months later. I have irregular periods and at time my period won't even come for a whole month. I went to the doctor and had blood test. I found out that I had thyroids later.
Little did I find out before I was pregnant, I went for their thyroid scan at polyclinic. They found 3 small cycts on my left thyroid. Then they referred me to a specialist in SGH. A month later, I went for my appointment at the specialist in SGH. I had a few of blood tests and urine test. One fine day, to my surprised, they told me they found something in my urine and they told me that I'm pregnant.
I was shocked and I cried because I told them I broke up with my bf 3 months ago. They asked me if theres anyone with me and I said yes, my ex-bf accompanied me because he was worried of me. So when they had a talked with my ex-bf, he got shocked as well. I didn't knew I was pregnant for 4 months until I got this far for the urine test.
My ex-bf told me to keep the baby. I told them I don't want the baby and I wanted to abort it because I was embarrassed. I came from a very pious family. They then referred me to another specialist in block 5. I had 2 and a half rounds of Cervagem (you can look it up on google). Took me 5 days to realize something that I haven't seen it for my whole 3 years with my ex-bf. He actually cared for me and the fetus in me. He loves my fetus so much that it actually made up my mind to keep it. On the 5th day of my stay, I told the doctors that I want to stop everything and that I want to keep this baby. A nurse came and counselled me. I was later discharged and patched up back with my ex-bf.
When I came home, I had a few of ups and downs with my family members. From mom, dad and my siblings forcing me to abort the baby. I had a few emotions going on back then. The whole situation kinda stressed me up til one day, I packed up all my clothes and left the house. I stayed with my bf in a rented room which we rented in Pasir Ris. We stayed together for a month and 1 week. We had a few arguements as well. As for me, it's always about the money. I went jobless when I'm 6 and a half months pregnant. I once had a good paying job in the office but now I have nothing. My bf was struggling taking care of me and fetus in my womb as well as the rent money and our foods.
I was so proud of him that I didn't thank him. Later that day, I received a call from mum and she wants me home. She accepted me for who I am and brought me back home. During my stay back at home, I was treated like a princess. I had breakfast on my bed and I was told not to go out. It doesn't bothers me. Til one morning, I wet my whole bed. I was 27weeks pregnant. I told my mum that I wet it and it just won't stop. She said that my water bag is broken and we quickly rushed to the A&E in a taxi. I was been checked for an hour and later got the room in 3 hours later.
I had a very bad experience then. The gynae told me that I had a small leakage from my water bag and that I had to be hospitalized for 6 weeks. My turn didn't end up 6 weeks and I was having braxton hicks when I was only 30weeks. I had a very lonely and quiet time in the delivery room for 4 hours. I delivered to a baby boy at 30+1weeks. He was only 1620g at birth. He was in the NICU & ICU for a month and was discharged 2 days later.
Unfortunately when baby was home, the father came to visit twice in a month and the last visit was in the next month. He kept giving work as his excuses. I was pissed off and I broke up with him 4 months later. I suffered a post-natal depression. At times when I feel down, I would cry for few nights and then when I feel ok I'd laugh and smile. I just felt like he isn't anyone important in my life and my son's. He even stopped giving allowances for my son. The last was when I gave birth to him and that was it. I struggled to raise up my son with the help from my working parents. They supported me and baby through months with milk and diapers and until now he's weaning. And until then, still no news from my son's father. I pitied him because of his father being like this.
A month after I broke up with him, I found out that he's actually attached with a girl from Canada. She's the same girl whom broke us up a year ago. They're nothing to me now. I'm happy with my son as he has 6 people who dotes on him.
I do still feel lonely having to go through this with baby alone and im still young though. I felt like my youth is wasted with having to change smelly diapers everyday. I want to have friends again and going out but I just felt that eversince I gave birth, everything in my life changed. I need someone to talked to but of course I can't share it with my mum. I do sometimes but all I get are nags everyday. I need to talk to someone whose experiencing the same as me. I need someone to lean on. I hope I will get it from here if theres any single moms out there, I might need all the advice I could get.
Thanks,
Mira |
noriszah (izah)
New member
Username: izah
Post Number: 58
Registered: 5-2010
| | Posted on Monday, November 07, 2011 - 10:30 pm: |
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Hi mira,
Althought i hv the same experince as u but i'm willing to be ur friend..... Do email me at noriszah_idris@yahoo.com.sg |
noriszah (izah)
New member
Username: izah
Post Number: 59
Registered: 5-2010
| | Posted on Monday, November 07, 2011 - 10:31 pm: |
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*don't |
scatterbrain (scatterbrain)
Junior Member
Username: scatterbrain
Post Number: 214
Registered: 5-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, December 17, 2011 - 4:26 pm: |
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Hi Ladies,
Just want to extend a little bit of help to those single mum to be. I ve some bottles and feeding bowls to give away, pls email me for details. Hweeli2002@yahoo.com. My items are used before, not for fuzzy mums |
Elicia Chan (elicia)
New member
Username: elicia
Post Number: 7
Registered: 5-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, January 01, 2012 - 10:46 pm: |
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hi gers, im a single mummy of 2. u can add me in FB too http://facebook.com/​NatellyPotter |
Nur Iman (survivorgal)
New member
Username: survivorgal
Post Number: 1
Registered: 12-2011
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 11, 2012 - 12:27 am: |
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Hi everyone im 31 years old single mom. I have a 21 month old princess. The biological father of my girl didnt witness her birth nor did he go to ICA to register her birth. He didnt even visit us but still giving us allowance till now. He never calls us but msg us few times a month. Im confused with him really.... |
Louise Lau (san20sg)
New member
Username: san20sg
Post Number: 26
Registered: 1-2012
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2012 - 9:12 pm: |
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Hi, I just broke up with my boyfriend too and 3 months pregnant. I am now looking for a new place urgently. Would it be difficult to find a new place that I am pregnant, would deliver a newborn baby?
If anyone is renting out a room in the West, please let me know. Appreciate it. |
Kei (r00ki3)
New member
Username: r00ki3
Post Number: 1
Registered: 2-2012
| | Posted on Monday, February 13, 2012 - 10:20 pm: |
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Dear Mira & Nur Iman,
U both have been very strong to keep and raise your child. As a Muslim, (which I think u both are, if not I apologize ya) yes, a huge sin has been committed but no one should judge u. U have a choice to abort or to give your baby for adoption. But U didn't. It shows how much courage u both have & u dont need your partner's support.
I am also waiting for doc to confirm my pregnancy and my partner is a confused person. So i refused to let him take responsibility no matter how hard he wants to try. What if i said ok now and a few months later he said he cannot commit? I rather be disappointed once than forever.
As much as I am blabbering here without a positivity of my pregnancy, I have promised myself that I will take care of this baby no matter what happens. I will update you on e outcome in a few days time. I hope we can be of help and of course, I would want to be a listening ear too. In e meantime, take care ladies. I really feel for you. Stay strong darlings |
Nur Iman (survivorgal)
New member
Username: survivorgal
Post Number: 2
Registered: 12-2011
| | Posted on Monday, February 20, 2012 - 6:36 pm: |
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Dear Kei, thank you very much. The day will come where i can stop depending on him. But at the moment i still need his financial support coz i cant work yet. No one can take care of my girl. Im living together with my parents and 21 yr old bro but im paying 80 percent of the rent which comes from my monthly allowances my daughter's father gives.(this amount is actually for our studio apartment rent and basic neccesities)but my parents decided that i should stay together with them and rent a bigger apartment so i should use all the money to pay 80 percent of our current rent and other 20 percent of the rent, my food and my daughter's needs will be supported by them. I agreed with them and they sold their flat. But they do not allow me and my daughter to be seen with them and my relatives. Me and my girl cant go out freely. Only at certain places where nobody we know will be there. At home, my daughter and me is not free either. We cant do this cant do that coz my mom is a clean freak. I have to share the room with my mom and my bro gets his own room. My daughter sleeps on a mattress on the floor. My pa sacrifices by sleeping at the living room. I feel depressed staying at home but my parents said i have to accept coz its my fault. They said they are very hurt. I dunno whether its fair or not but i feel i should be grateful...what do u think Kei? |
Nur Iman (survivorgal)
New member
Username: survivorgal
Post Number: 3
Registered: 12-2011
| | Posted on Monday, February 20, 2012 - 7:52 pm: |
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Dear Kei, I will be expecting your msg. I Need to express my emotions to someone who really understands...thank you again. |
zaidahmohd (zeemohd)
New member
Username: zeemohd
Post Number: 1
Registered: 4-2011
| | Posted on Friday, March 09, 2012 - 11:32 am: |
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hi
wondering is this is an active thread.
im gg thru a divorce process myself.
are there dedicated divorced mum malay groups.
im 32. |
noriszah (izah)
New member
Username: izah
Post Number: 73
Registered: 5-2010
| | Posted on Monday, March 12, 2012 - 1:12 am: |
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Hi Iman, if u need someone to talk to u i available... I feel u dear... |
Nur Iman (survivorgal)
New member
Username: survivorgal
Post Number: 5
Registered: 12-2011
| | Posted on Monday, March 12, 2012 - 6:26 pm: |
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Hi Izah, thank you v much. Like i mentioned on my post, i dunno whether my situation is fair for me and my girl or i must be grateful that we are still surviving. Im on the crossroads..but i do know where i stand. Its just my girl...im confuse izah...  |
noriszah (izah)
New member
Username: izah
Post Number: 74
Registered: 5-2010
| | Posted on Monday, March 12, 2012 - 10:16 pm: |
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Hi iman, u could email to me so we could talk outside the forum if u don't mind.... My email noriszah_idris@yahoo.com.sg |
Yasmin (natasha__yasmin)
New member
Username: natasha__yasmin
Post Number: 1
Registered: 3-2012
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 28, 2012 - 12:51 am: |
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Hi Iman and Amirah, im facing the same issue here. My ex is a foreign expat. Currently on legal battle with him. It is exhausting I tell you. I love being a mother even though people look down on me being an unmarried mother. I do not like to deal with a heartless and selfish man. What more when he hasn't play his part as a father well in the past. I made a bold decision to leave him in 2011. I do not want to commit anymore sins and it is also bad for my baby's upbringing since we often quarelled. I am supposed to be on holiday with baby in Europe now but had to fly back to Singapore because of this !diot. I had to, I wouldn't want to lose my child to him. Im supposed to return to Europe in February 2nd but had to cancel my flight back and wait till this case is over. I will be getting married in Europe this May and Muslim wedding will be here next year. My current fiance was my best friend and he is a responsible and loving person. My ex refused to let my baby move on with me. He does not allow me to bring my baby out of Singapore. He is not even a Singaporean to begin with. I don't know what his motive are but as a mother, I will not give up. My current lawyers are a pain in the buttocks. We have alot of disagreements thus I'm forced to look for a lawyer who work closely with Womans Charter. In terms of family support, my fiance helps me alot financially. My mother and aunt helps me to look after baby when I have to go for religious classes or meet lawyers. My relatives look down on me and my family thus my mother actually broke off her relationship with her own siblings. I don't understand these old Malay uncles and aunties. Our babies are innocent. Don't punish us for our previous mistakes. A note to all single mothers, never depend on any man who does not plan to have any future with you. Why wait for them? My ex cancelled our wedding 2 days before the date and I was already abt 6 months pregnant! Iman and Amirah, if you need somebody to talk to PM me! |
Su (alandranouck)
New member
Username: alandranouck
Post Number: 1
Registered: 11-2009
| | Posted on Monday, April 09, 2012 - 5:33 pm: |
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hi
I'm gg through divorce proceedings. I've a 2yr old son snd 1 yr old girl. I've been a sahm since 2009. I need to get back to the work force at the same time need to care for my bbs. Anyone in similar boat who can share their experience? As I am at a loss where to head to and how to move on from here. Can email me at incywincy007@hmail.com
Thank you |
Matters Of The Heart 
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