| Author |
Message |
    
Ling Ng (mayng)
Member
Username: mayng
Post Number: 1462
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 10:56 am: | 
|
bea: being a MTB, i was very sad to see such ignorant ppl. this little lady posted in another thread, saying she only 19 and had engaged in sexual intercourse without prevention and having thought tt her irregular period would helped her to get less pregnant. I was with TTC thread and seen lots of my friends trying very hard for bb, and many had tried till each mth crying when they see period coming. So disappointed tt they cant get pregnant, many had at times given up the thoughts but till today, most of them still insist on their hopes and trying all means n ways to get pregnant. Some even result in IUI n IVF. dun understand, why young ladies nowadays takes bb so easily, can just abort it. sad things to do.. till one fine day, they realised what they have lost... |
Bea (beabea)
Junior Member
Username: beabea
Post Number: 159
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 11:18 am: |
|
Hi Ling
Agree! When i was trying to get pregnant few years back, i cried whenever my period came too, although bringing up a child is tough esp at the first 2 yrs, but i've no regrets, in fact i'm very proud of myself for having a 2 yrs old gal right now. She's growing everyday & even if my work really sucks, once i see her after work, my smiling face will come back, it's really worth the effort. |
Ling Ng (mayng)
Member
Username: mayng
Post Number: 1468
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 11:45 am: |
|
bea: ya.. like me.. tummy getting bigger each day, happy to see a life inside which too struggling to make its way into this world, and yet some just wan to have an easy way out. but i guess thats life... |
wan (not_so_easy)
Member
Username: not_so_easy
Post Number: 581
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 11:53 am: |
|
Yuki
Think before you act!!!
Take care!! |
yuki (yuki_22)
New member
Username: yuki_22
Post Number: 31
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 1:37 pm: |
|
ling,
wats the point of critizing n scolding?
can it help? u tink it will help the matter?
yupz..we did it without thinking..
we realise it now. we regret it now. we feel sorry n bad now. u tinks words can describe how i feel? |
Bea (beabea)
Junior Member
Username: beabea
Post Number: 162
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 1:42 pm: |
|
Yuki
Stay cool...now it's not the time to get angry, be it it's scolding or whatsoever, all of us meant well. We only want to convey this message to you: ie Life is precious, it's a blessing to have your own kid, don't destroy it out of impulse. |
Ling Ng (mayng)
Member
Username: mayng
Post Number: 1473
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 1:55 pm: |
|
yuki: who am i to reprimand u? my msg to u wasnt scolding, it is just strong to emphasis ignorance in you, and letting u understand life better. My hubby and myself tried so hard for a bb, and almost landed gng for an artifical fertility programme, and you here, did something which most young ladies wanna experience, and landed yourself in a state of Hurt... isit worth it? I was once young like u, i understand wat is like being young n ignorant. dear lady, dun take our words for granted, as we all meant well for u n the little one. After this mistake, one can easily forget, and would u sleep n forget or engrave inside ur heart what happen and take it as a punishment? of cos, i am not u or ur parents to tell u wat to do, but just wan to enlighten u and make u realise how ppl look at little life.
seek help from ur parents... even they scold u, they are just being heart pain for u. i am now gng to be a mummy, and i will surely be there for my little ones the next time... the safest plc and the best person, will still be ur parents to scold u, but they too the one to comfort u and be ur shelter. |
Ling Ng (mayng)
Member
Username: mayng
Post Number: 1474
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 2:01 pm: |
|
yuki: i saw ur post in another thread abt ur bf...
worry that ur bf's family lose face? he should face the music of his parents, cos he did something which he failed to be responsible. why should u be the one worrying? Poor girl, now u the one suffering n thinking solutions to helped him escaped the music? isit worth? why do so much? let him be a man to face the reality, and ask him dun let u suffer alone like this. |
Daisy (daisylove)
Member
Username: daisylove
Post Number: 1018
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 2:55 pm: |
|
Hi Yuki,
you are young at this age and may have worries on how people around you perceive this matter. I think the best for you now is to confide the truth in your parents and your boyfriend in his parents.
If your boyfriend does not mind whether you keep or abort the baby, why don't the both of you keep the baby, the fruit of your love? If there is still true love between you and your boyfriend, both of you can consider early marriage. I know you feel helpless now and feel that nobody understands how you feel but trust us, we do. We've been through your age. We know at this age, financial issue is a big problem to support the child. You may face difficulties at the start as both you and your boyfriend have not achieved academically or established your career, but you can still gain support from both sides' family members. I believe they will stand by the both of you. Life is precious and this is your own sweet baby, do consider that you can still obtain help from his and your parents. Do not ever think that your future is ruined because of the baby. You are not too young to be a parent. I've seen ladies at 15 years old being a mother and they've never regretted bringing their babies to this world.
You can still achieve what you want in life be it academically or in your future career even after being a mother. It's never too late if you have set your mind in deciding to do it. I've been to the university before and have seen ladies going to the university even after they become a mother. If you have the will, you will have the way.
Yuki, if you really find it hard to confide in his or your parents, do consult a counsellor who will advise you rather than keeping it in yourself and suffering in silence. This won't help you or your boyfriend solve the problem.
Trust me, it's not very easy to have a child, I'm now trying very hard. Just to bring to your awareness that if abortion procedures are not done properly, it may affect your future conception. It will be a great pity to give up this child if u and ur boyfriend are still so much in love. It's not always bad to start a family early. Imagine your child's age gap will not be very far away from the both of you and you'll be such a close-knitted family next time.
Do take care of your health, Yuki. Stress is no good for you now. There's no need for any regrets as it is not wrong for having this child. It may be just different people's conception or perception that is frightening you. Try talking to your parents, they may scold you or whatever, ultimately they will still be the ones standing by you and supporting you. Be brave and face this matter strongly, my dear. Who knows if you keep this child and 2 years down the road, you may come in this forum again to tell us how proud you are to have this child  |
Linda (linda_thea)
Member
Username: linda_thea
Post Number: 1739
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 3:42 pm: |
|
Yuki,
Personally, I am a mom to a one year old girl. I had a miscarriage before I had her.
I must say the miscarriage was dramatising and I would advise no one should go for a d&c (abortion also) if it can be helped.
I would want to tell you that life is on-going. You have many more years to come. Ask yourself, if there wasn't a baby, would you marry your now bf? And would he marry you? Will you two be together forever? Will his and your family like the idea? Life and marriage does not involve just the two of you...it consists of people around us too.
If your answer is unsure or no, then please do not have the baby. Either go thru the abortion or have the baby up for adoption. There will be many loving parents out there who are childless to love your child. If you chose to abort, bear in mind the consequences it might bring. Not only health wise, but long term fears and anxiety esp IF you dun marry this now bf next time... When I had a m/c, the first thing doc asked me, "Did I ever had an abortion?" If your then-hubby knows abt your past, it is fine. But if he doesn't then how do you think he will think?
Either way, as a woman, we are just born to have to face the consequences.
My theory being, I rather suffer myself and face what consequences of abortion or adoption (guilt, fear, worries, reduced chances of pregnancy later) later then to keep the child with me, then have him/her subject to divorce, fights and arguements.
But if your answer is yes, then why not have the baby? If you are sure that both of you are willing to take up the responsibility for the kid, it doesn't matter if you are ready or not.
No one is born ready to have a child. I have 2 frens who got married cos they found themselves pregnant. Both of them are not ready for a child, financially or emotionally. But they knew their relationship with their bfs were solid. So they wedded. Now one is a proud mother to 2 toddlers and one is a proud mom to one toddler. See? Life works itself out.
Ask yourself what is it that you can do and cannot do. If this bf is worth it all? It is very easy for us to say only. But you are the one who have to face the music... Do what you think best. Just remember that you shouldn't be in this alone. If he doesn't mind you keeping the baby or not, chances are he doesn't mind keeping you or not too.
Take care Yuki |
hamasaki (hamasaki)
Member
Username: hamasaki
Post Number: 908
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 3:43 pm: |
|
yuki, i do agree with what the other ladies like Bea, Ling and Daisy had said...
do think carefully be4 U act... its a life inside U U're talking abt, and pls do not act rashly.. Do talk things out with yr BF and both family members or maybe U can go for counselling as well.. |
naturally (naturally)
Member
Username: naturally
Post Number: 682
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 4:49 pm: |
|
Yuki,
i'm another one from the ttc thread... i see a lot of nice ladies have already brought up their concern for u... i just hope my posting is not too late!
Just want to tell u that u're not alone! NOBODY is EVER alone! And no no, dear girl, not true that u have no choice! Its just that u're not aware of other better choices... u do not yet see wat a beautiful baby u will bring to this world, u do not yet see wat joy and estacsy your baby will bring! That first smile, that first sound... "MA MA"! U are a ma ma now, u know that?
Tell u a secret, a lot of us wished we had tried for a baby earlier, we would have totally enjoyed a shotgun marriage i think! In fact we envy those who had shotgun marriages, no need to try and try like us and yet still see red every mth, i can tell u that feeling totally sucks!!! (i would have said something more vulgar but i think here not allowed...  )
I'm happy for u that at least now there's 1 more woman on earth who doesn't have to suffer wat we suffered! (do u know how many woman are drooling over that cute little baby in your stomach? i know i'm one! hee...) Provided u dun make the mistake of taking away your baby's life!
U know that u can prob hear your baby's heartbeat now? Its very very fast one, thud-thud-thud-thud like bullet like dat, hee...
(p/s: if u want to talk privately to any ladies, u can always PM them... u know how to send pte msgs? just click on the nick... i think we would love to hear from u!)
Just want u to know nobody is ever alone. If u're willing, u'll find many big sisters here... whether to help u prepare your wedding, or give u tips on easing morning sickness or just to be a listener!
Yuki, u live only once, u want to enjoy everything there is to life, u want to enjoy love, u want to enjoy being loved, right? Your baby also only live once... now the question is will you also let your baby enjoy life, just as u had? |
Ling Ng (mayng)
Member
Username: mayng
Post Number: 1477
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 5:26 pm: |
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yuki: u see... many wanted to have bb like u, but each mth we tried, we only see red. of cos, you are now young n fail to understand us, but we surely been through ur stage and knows wats on ur mind. till one fine day, when u are in our shoes, u will then realise the importance of us having said so much. |
grin (grin)
New member
Username: grin
Post Number: 92
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 6:51 pm: |
|
I agree with Linda. Yuki, it was silly to have unprotected sex w you BF. Unfortunately, while many girls get away w it, you got pregnant and you have to deal w the consequences. Whether you get an abortion, give the baby up for adoption or raise it yourself, it is going to be difficult. The best thing you can do now is speak to someone you trust or a counsellor to discuss your options.
Several people here have been applying a lot of emotional pressure. This doesn't help in any way. While i sympathise with those who are trying to conceive, please remember that you are happily married and trying to bring a child into a loving family. The situation is quite different for Yuki. Who is going to help thru her pregnancy or her raise the child? Who will smooth things over w her family? There has been a lot of talk about why should keep her baby because she will love him, how alot of people want a baby but can't have it, but so far there hasn't been much real advice. Just because yuki keeps the baby doesn't mean that it will be easier for other people to have babies. It's like saying people in Africa are starving, so eat everything on your plate even if it's oily and bad for health. I have seen many people who had unwanted pregnancies. Some chose abortion. Almost all were depressed, but while many regretted putting themselves in that situation by having premarital sex, they did NOT believe that keeping their child would have been a better option. For those who chose to keep, again they regretted having premarital sex, but they often wondered what their life would have been like without a child and sometimes they regret having kept the child, but this was very rare. Yes, abortion has risks, but then so does pregnancy.
yuki, whatever you do, please consider all options first with someone who can give you objective advice and can tell you all the options open to you. But please learn a lesson and do not have premarital sex. If you must, at least use protection. |
Ling Ng (mayng)
Member
Username: mayng
Post Number: 1486
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 9:11 pm: |
|
Just because yuki keeps the baby doesn't mean that it will be easier for other people to have babies. ===> yes it doesnt help, but at least save an innocent life which was unintentionally brought into the world.
Several ppl applying emotional pressures? nope, cos ppl stating fact on how hard one is trying, and one little lady here just fail to realise the impt of actions which becomes her reaction.
if keeping a ShotGun bb maybe not be a good option, as many separated after the birth of the child, but there are some who are till today are still happily married n having another child added to the family. Seriously speaking, all options will still land with a result, but its up to one to be brave to face it. We arent saint. Some of us went through silly decisions like yuki, and once ignorant too. |
yuki (yuki_22)
New member
Username: yuki_22
Post Number: 32
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 11:46 pm: |
|
thanks to grin for putting yourself in my shoes.
for thinking for me.
for everytink.
for giving me the emotional support just by your single message.
once against thank u.
this will be my last post here. |
Gal (libra85)
New member
Username: libra85
Post Number: 1
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, March 05, 2005 - 12:04 am: |
|
Yuki whatever u do pls tink it over..consider other option like wat grin say..
I'm too like u when i was found out tat i'm pregnent..but i choose to face because i noe i haf to..because there's a LIFE in me..
I'm glad i've choose the rite thing because now i'm happliy married to the men i love & wif a lovely baby.i'm 20 dis yr planning 4 a second baby.
Tok to ur bf & ur parents they may not b angry of u afterall u r still their daughter.. |
yuki (yuki_22)
New member
Username: yuki_22
Post Number: 34
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, March 05, 2005 - 12:11 am: |
|
ling,
by critizing, by reposting my thread in ttc, by getting your friends to come help critizise is by no means helping at all.
u really make me decide that its a bloody mistake to come in here. |
anza (anza)
New member
Username: anza
Post Number: 25
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, March 05, 2005 - 12:42 am: |
|
Hi Yuki,
Nobody here is critizing you for your actions...its a fact that the BB is innocent.
I feel that you should speak to your parents about your pregnancy. Of coz,they would feel upset that u have landed yourself in tis state.
But then it would be more hurtful for them if they ever found out that u took away an innocent life jus becoz ur afraid of wht the future might bring.
Please have a good talk with your parents, I'm sure they would support ur decision if you decide to keep the child.
God bless you... |
Gal (libra85)
New member
Username: libra85
Post Number: 2
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, March 05, 2005 - 1:05 am: |
|
Abortion
Dear Mommy,
I am in Heaven now...I so wanted to be
your
little
girl. I don't quite understand what has
happened.
I was so excited when I began realizing
my
existance. I was in a dark, yet comfortable
place.
I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty
far
along in my developing, yet not near
ready to
leave my surroundings. I spent most of my
time
thinking or sleeping. Even from my
earliest
days,
I felt a special bonding between you and
me.
Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried
with
you.
Sometimes you would yell or scream,
then
cry. I
heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and
hoped you
would be better soon. I wondered why you
cried so
much.
One day you cried almost all of the day. I
hurt
for you. I couldn't imagine why you were
so
unhappy.
That same day, the most horrible thing
happened. A
very mean Monster came into that warm,
comfortable
place I was in. I was so scared, I began
screaming, but you never once tried to
help
me.
Maybe you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as I was
screaming and screaming, "Mommy,
Mommy, help me
please! Mommy, help me." Complete
terror is
all I
felt. I screamed and screamed until I
thought
I
couldn't anymore. Then the monster
started
ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the
pain i
can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I
begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as
it
ripped my leg off. Though I was in such
complete
pain, I was dying. I knew I would never
see
your
face or hear you say how much you love
me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away. I
had
so
many plans to make you happy. Now I
couldn't, all
my dreams were shattered. Though I was
in
utter
pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart
breaking, above all.
I wanted more than anything to be your
daughter.
No use now, for I was dying a painful
death. I
could only imagine the terrible things
that
they
had done to you. I wanted to tell you that
I love
you before I was gone, but I didn't know
the
words
you could understand. And soon, I no
longer
had
the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt
myself
rising. I was being carried by a huge
angel
into a
big beautiful place. I was still crying, but
the
physical pain was gone.
The angel took me away to a wonderful
place. Then
I was happy. I asked the angel what was
the
thing
was that killed me. He
answered, "Abortion. I
am
sorry, for I know how it feels." I don't know
what
abortion is, I guess that's the name of the
monster.
I'm writing to say that I love you and to
tell you
how much I wanted to be your little girl. I
tried
very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had
the
will, but I couldn't; the monster was too
powerful.
It sucked my arms and legs off and finally
got
all
of me. It was impossible to live. I just
wanted
you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't
want to die.
Also, Mommy, please watch out for that
abortion
monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for
you to
go
through the kind of pain I did. Please be
careful.
Love,
Your Baby Girl
PRO CHOICE??? DO YOU THINK THESE
BABIES CHoOSE TO
DIE??? |
hamasaki (hamasaki)
Member
Username: hamasaki
Post Number: 912
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, March 05, 2005 - 1:23 am: |
|
yuki, pls do cool down... No one is scolding or critizing U.. Just wanted to tell U that there is a human being inside U...
if there are choices and options ard without having to go thru an abortion , pls do choose and consider them...
I have a friend who did an abortion and she regretted her choice greatly.. She miss the baby terribly ...
Do have a good discussion with both sides of parents... I believe they will help U thru it... |
Ling Ng (mayng)
Member
Username: mayng
Post Number: 1489
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, March 05, 2005 - 12:02 pm: |
|
yuki: i once again tell u tt i am not critizing. but when one fine day, u realised wat u have done it gng to be too late.
last nite, at 10plus, i was admitted to A&E cos i was bleeding. when i realised i was bleeding at home, the first thing came was to rush to hosp. to save my little one. i cried while getting change, cos we both knew how much tt bb meant us. We created them, be it purposely or unintentionally, its our part to bring them to this world. my hubby was in a state a shock, cos little one so small.. and when i reached the hosp, my gyane then scan for my bb, and found it was ok, and she even amplified bb's heartbeat for us to listen.. i tell u, the emotions were so great, tt i almost cried... that little sac has a heartbeat. The nurse asked, do u wan a bb girl or boy.... i told her, as long as bb is ok & healthy, boy or girl it doesnt matter. cos its ours... a little precious stone which no one can ever replace. I was then now confine in bed till monday till i get to see my gynae again.
to u my words might came a little strong, cos u fail to understand yourself, and refused to listen to ppl who knows whats a life is all about. maybe till u are older, u will be able to find ur inner self, but tt will be long way before u can even make a wise choice.
many dun wan bb, and abort them, many give birth to bb and dump them into bin, many wan bb, cant give birth, and many wan bb went to adopt. We all live life once, and how many times would we be able to make such mistakes?
you can abort, but will u live ur life the same? will u be the same girl who is forever seems smiling endlessly, or will be the one who gng to change to be another person? many here been through more than u, and at least surely seen more than u. giving u strong advices dun more critism, but just wan u to know, what is more impt in yr life. |
a2002 (a2002)
Junior Member
Username: a2002
Post Number: 242
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, March 06, 2005 - 12:12 pm: |
|
Gals,
I think you are giving her a lot of pressure. It's already pressuring enough to be in such situation.
Yuki,
Cool down... Being heated up or stressed up will not help in making a decision. You need a clear mind to think properly.
I think you should talk to a trained counsellor. They will listen to you and help you. They will be able to present to you your options and advice you cos they have seen lots.
You may want to seek help from ALife (www.alife.org.sg), Fei Yue Community Services (www.fycs.org) |
a2002 (a2002)
Junior Member
Username: a2002
Post Number: 243
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, March 06, 2005 - 12:32 pm: |
|
Yuki,
You may want to search through the website of ALife and read about the facts of abortion. Hopefully, the articles will help you make a decision. You can also call them and seek help from their trained counsellors.
May God Bless you.... Hope you will be able to tide over this stressful period soon. |
a2002 (a2002)
Junior Member
Username: a2002
Post Number: 244
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, March 06, 2005 - 12:34 pm: |
|
Maybe you will want to read this article:
http://www.alife.org.sg/en_story03.php |
Ling Ng (mayng)
Member
Username: mayng
Post Number: 1499
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, March 06, 2005 - 1:10 pm: |
|
We arent saint, we protect a life, and not harm one. Not till u lost something precious and start regretting.
after lose it then regret? or regret before one loses it? |
mngo (mngo)
Member
Username: mngo
Post Number: 1091
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, March 06, 2005 - 11:22 pm: |
|
Yuki
Just remember that whatever decision you make, your family members will be there to support you. Even if you decide not to keep the child, and after you go thru the operation, just look forward. Do not look back. Give yourself time , start new life again. I am sure you have a reason for any decision you make.
Hope this helps! |
ettu (ettu)
New member
Username: ettu
Post Number: 1
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Monday, March 07, 2005 - 12:18 am: |
|
hi all
just to share my views on abortion...
it's not right to end a new life but...you will need to consider the circumstances/situation the new life will grow up in...
e.g. if the baby is born out of wedlock with parents not loving/wanting each other, three lives may be destroyed at once...and this is for three people's lifetimes...a very long time...and of course this will involve other people as well.
i totally understand the love/want/pressure for babies, but sit back and think...will this baby be happy...will the parents be happy? should we destroy everyone's future for the sake of one that hasn't started?
i recently adopted this thinking when i heard of a n acquaintance who got pregnant by her ex-bf. her mum is forcing the guy to marry her. she wants to marry him, but bf actually dumped her several times already. ok so maybe the guy is a jerk, but bottomline is she wants him, she wants baby. he doesn't want her and the baby. her parents want him to want them. how can there be a happy ending? should the pain be carried forward to another generation where the child may be a victim of a broken family...
for me, in such circumstance, i'd rather sacrifice one then to jeopardise everyone's future. that's me. |
naturally (naturally)
Member
Username: naturally
Post Number: 686
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Monday, March 07, 2005 - 9:59 am: |
|
Dear dear yuki...
i dunno wat to say! Its unfair to Ling when u said that she instigated her ttc frens to come and criticise u...  As if we have anything to gain from this??? i just want to explain a little here... Ling is just like u, she is pregnant too! Look, people are genuinely concerned and worried for u, its fine if u do decide to go for an abortion, it is not going to affect anybody else, but u will become a different Yuki... and that's wat we're worried abt! Nobody wants to criticise u, my dear, everyone here wants the best for u, whether we word it nicely or not... we're just afraid u will regret, dun u understand?
U know, I would have told u different things if this is a year ago... i would have told u to go ahead, go asap before u have chance to think twice, ask for a referal from a GP, or go to a pte gynae clinic (those with the word "surgery" in their signboard will likely be able to perform an abortion), ask for general anesthesia cos i assure u, u wouldn't want to be conscious and see how the doc uses his equipments... u will need to lie on the surgical bed with your panties off, and u will have to open up your legs... have u done a pap smear before? I hope u have, so at least u will feel less shy abt opening up your legs to a gynae. Get $400-500 from your bf, that's the least he can do, and anyway he is a rich fellow so $$ shdn't be a problem to him. After which, give yourself a mini confinement, eats lots and lots of bu2 ping3, dun carry heavy things. And remember to take birth-control pills or use a heavy-duty condom in future...
oh man, i feel like crying after writing all these! Yuki must u really go thru this? |
Daisy (daisylove)
Member
Username: daisylove
Post Number: 1021
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 07, 2005 - 11:04 am: |
|
Dear Yuki,
just wanna tell you the truth, Ling did not ask us here. We came here because we care for you even though we do not know you. There's still warmth in this world. Everyone thinks differently and there's no definite right or wrong to a decision made. Some may see your decision as right considering your situation. Some may feel that you should at least seek ur parents' or counsellor's advices before u do anything as you're still young and they're afraid you'll make the wrong decision. If you do feel pressurised by us who advice you to keep your baby, I apologise.
Whatever your decision is, I hope that it is something which you will feel good in the future and not regrets in the days down the road. Wish you all the best. Take care. |
a2002 (a2002)
Junior Member
Username: a2002
Post Number: 245
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 07, 2005 - 1:03 pm: |
|
Hi Yuki,
I came across an article in the Sunday Times yesterday on "Pregnant and alone?". You can get in touch with a counsellor via sms.
You can contact sms babes on 811-3535 via sms.
Or call the National Pregnancy Helpline on 1800-686 8623.
You should seek professional help to help you get through this situation. |
Ling Ng (mayng)
Member
Username: mayng
Post Number: 1513
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 07, 2005 - 1:56 pm: |
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daisy & Naturally: dun worry, i am never bothered. not my daugther anyway. i rather worry for my little bb... later see u two at ttc.. tata |
brenda (brendali)
Junior Member
Username: brendali
Post Number: 195
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 07, 2005 - 7:20 pm: |
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Hmmm Yuki,
not too sure if u'll be reading this since read that u got super pissed off on Saturday.
I'm not going to tell u if its right or wrong to abort.. (think that's what many hv posted about... sorry yah, i too lazy to read :p) Instead, can i suggest that you have a good friend to go thru this period of time w u? not ur bf but a good buddy. Especially when going thru the abortion n the time after it.
Nope, i din go thru it myself but i'm the 'buddy' who stayed on w my friends. trust me! u need someone cos not only its mentally tormenting (all the guilts n pain) its physically draining too.
Hope u always remember this... no doubt the little one is a life, but so is urs. So no matter what's the decision, please continue to love urself cos one day, another little angel is going to come along... and it will be difficult to get love from a mum who no longer love herself..
All of us makes mistakes.. just dun dwell in it |
TSH (tan_tan)
New member
Username: tan_tan
Post Number: 89
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 5:12 pm: |
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Dear Yuki,
It has been two months plus, 75 days to be exact, since you last posted here. I guess whatever your decision is, it has already done and nothing can change it anymore.
I feel so compulsive to write because, on 05 March 2005, the day when you were so pissed off and perhaps the day you decided to go for abortion (hopefully not), my baby died. She passed away after a short stay of 67 days in this world, due to her congenital heart problem.
I learnt about her heart problem when I was 20 weeks pregnant. Doctor asked us whether we wanted to abort her, I kept her, not everyone in our families standed by my desicion, even my MIL tried to persuade us "think again", I insisted I wouldn't give her up. I have no regret eventhough I still lost her at the end. I have no regret because at least now I know how she looked like, my memory for her is vivid. If I had aborted her, all I have when I moan for her is a vague image.
Some had suggested me to adopt a child, but I don't want. Some had said that having a new baby help because he/she can fill the hole in my heart, and I can tell you it can never be. When you lost your child, YOU LOST IT FOREVER, no matter what you do later trying to rectify, and NO ONE can subsitute the one you lost.
That's what I hope you will know.
I really hope that there was no another life lost on that sad day - My heart aches everytime when I mentioned this day, and every saturday is a torture for me after that day.
Wish you all the best.
tan tan |
hamasaki (hamasaki)
Member
Username: hamasaki
Post Number: 1363
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 7:11 am: |
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TSH, my heart goes out to u after i read ur story.. so sad to hear of what had happened to ur gal.. May God Bless her...
U too got to take care of urself well.. |
tamarind (tamarind)
New member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 59
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 11:09 am: |
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tan tan, my heart goes out to you too. I sincerely hope that you recover well, and find happiness soon.
I believe that once conceived, the embryo is a life. At 10 weeks, the tiny head, arms, legs can be seen moving at ultrasound and the heartbeat can be heard. Abortion is equivalent to killing one's own baby. I find it cruel that the unborn foetus is not considered human. It is just like more than 100 years ago, black slaves are also not considered humans and have no rights. I hope that one day laws will change to protect the unborn child. |
angle (angle)
New member
Username: angle
Post Number: 1
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 17, 2006 - 8:53 am: |
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I really hate to see those couple who get married because of the baby(esp those know each other for less than 3 months.
Worse siao then divorce after get married for less than 1 year.
Yuki
yes or no is up to you.
As i have no right to say anything.
I have choose a NO during my age at 18
BUT it took me 8 year to have the brave of giving birth.
Even now i still can't get over.(will be life time)
Really hope you can think twice.
If given a chance to choose, i will say a YES no matter what.
Tks god for giving me a cute angle now after the wrong decision i made 8 year ago. |
judith toh (jjjl)
New member
Username: jjjl
Post Number: 55
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 11:43 am: |
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I just feel that what is the use of keeping the baby when you cant even support yourself. Thinking about it, if you cant give an affordable life to the baby, it is best that you abort it rather letting the baby suffer.
In this world, money might not be the biggest issue but frankly it is a must to have money. I see alot of family broken up becos of financial problem. So think twice. |
twinkle (litter_star)
New member
Username: litter_star
Post Number: 61
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 4:56 pm: |
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Judith,
I feel otherwise. If u know u can't support yourself or not financial stable don't flirt in bed with your bf/hb...after all, is the adult fault not the baby...abortion is not a good solution...abortion may lead to side effect in your body probably in the future u will hv problem conceiving when u are ready to hv one...u can give up the baby for adoption rather to abort him/her... |
Serenade (serenade)
New member
Username: serenade
Post Number: 36
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 26, 2006 - 6:06 am: |
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Only the mother alone can make the decision to keep or abort the baby. We, as the forumers, can only give our views and encouragement.
But seriously, if one can't afford raising a baby, best advice is to abstain totally from sex. If one can't, then at least have the decency to take preventive measures. No use giving all sorts of excuses once the baby is created. The affordability/responsibility issue does not come into picture only after one gets pregnant. There's no right or wrong decision. Whatever decision the mother makes, she'll have to live with it for life.
A lot of families broke up b'cos they tried/wanted to live beyond their financial means. Some poor families can raise big happy families. Some rich families fell apart with just one/two kids. My view is - babies don't make you any poorer. A family just has to adjust their lifestyle and expectations within financial means. In fact, if you manage it well, babies make your life "richer".
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anonymous (silent)
New member
Username: silent
Post Number: 1
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, May 27, 2006 - 1:49 pm: |
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Hi gals
We have to learn to protect our bodies especially we are on the losing end. Why do guys always get off scot free and leave the suffering to the gals??
NOBODY would want to go through abortion, u have to endure not only the physical pain but also the emotional pain as well!! It's great nonsense if someone told u that a D&C is PAINLESS!! I've been through a miscarriage before, u could never imagine the fear when u lay on the operation bed!! After that, u have to endure the pain, endless painful cramps for a few days, so painful that u have to lay on complete bedrest!!!
Gals, pls do not put urslf in the great risk, not only u face the risk of unwanted pregnancy fears but also sexually transmitted diseases as well!!
I know some guys who have uncurable STD but still wanted to find victims and have unprotected sex for the thrill!!
If ur partner do not practise safe sex, get them to f**K themselves instead.
Hope this link will be helpful to u.
http://www.contracept.info/ |
Kelly Chin (dirtifish)
New member
Username: dirtifish
Post Number: 36
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, May 27, 2006 - 2:20 pm: |
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To whom concerning about abortion or not,
To be frank, this is not a suitable forum seeking opinion for abortion. Most of the pple are too emotional and won't give you objective opinion. But you may come back here when you are prepared t be a mother. I am really sad to see some pple are trying to help other but ended up with multiplying pple's burden/pain. Now I recall, when I was in sec school learning to be a councellor, the trainer told us, a councellor will not tell you what you SHOULD do, but to provide you the consequences which may happen behind every choice. Then let you make decision yourself, and be responsible to what you have chosen.
I was a while really look down to pple who abort the baby, I also tot they are cruel, not responsible, bla bla bla. But when I was growing, I found that the life to every single individual is different, we are not suppose to judge ppl as long as he/she is not agaist the law, because we totally dun understand other's life. I am glad that I have a simpler life, and not much thing trouble me, or I rather try my best not doing things make myself regret/in trouble. But to pple whom had things wrong and trying to revive such as unwanted pregnancy, I think they should seek for professional advice, not here. |
tamarind (tamarind)
Intermediate Member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 2055
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, May 27, 2006 - 6:54 pm: |
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Even though it is legal to abort a baby up to 24 months in Singapore, it doesn't make it right to do so. An unborn foetus is not considered a human being and has no human rights. Many years ago, black people are also not considered human beings in the United States, and they had no human rights.
I agree that this is not the right forum, if the MTB has already decided on abortion. If she wants support, she is not going to find it here. |
Choc06 (choc06)
Junior Member
Username: choc06
Post Number: 242
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 5:36 pm: |
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Hey tamarind and Kelly! I agree with you totally..
Abortion is NOT the solution..abstinence is..
The unborn foetus is not a piece of "meat", it is a life.. Even after my first miscarriage aft 8 years , my hb and I will constantly think about he/she.. |
my only post (onlypost)
New member
Username: onlypost
Post Number: 1
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, July 02, 2006 - 12:22 am: |
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Hi everyone
I'm only posting this to put in my 2 cents worth. I realise having a thread on abortion on a motherhood website is a little inappropriate, especially when one considers the strong stand most ppl have on abortions anyway. However, I thought it was neccesary, as most posts here have portrayed abortions in a wholly negative light. It also doesn't help that there aren't any other forums i've found in singapore that talk about abortion, so its might slim pickings for those who were considering this path and just wanted some advice...
I had just gone thru an abortion today. Just this morning in fact. And it was our choice.
I am married, and the baby was conceived on our wedding night. My husband and I love each other, and we are financially more secure than most people. However, we were not at all prepared for a child to enter our lives. After all, we had only just gotten married, and we'd take a while to adjust to each other. Bringing a child into the dynamic would be unfair in more ways than one, to the marital relationship, as well as to this little being who is deserving of more than me or my husband are able to give emotionally at the moment.
I have ALWAYS believed that having a child is NOT a biological right, but a huge responsbility that needs to be taken extremely seriously. I have seen the difference between parents that are emotionally prepared to have children, as opposed to parents who just kinda pop them out and assume that things will just work out and u learn as u go....The difference to the child is HUGE and extremely noticeable. Perhaps the fact that i work in the mental health field has also heightened my sensitivity to the common problem of poor parenting. Nonetheless, I believe that becoming a parent is a DECISION, not one u stumble upon my chance alone.
When we decided to abort our child, we were fully aware that we were in fact deciding to kill our firstborn. And it hurt us both to do that. But we stood by our decision despite this, and despite the many people trying to persuade us otherwise. At the end of the day, we were not ready to be parents...hence our choice in the end |
my only post (onlypost)
New member
Username: onlypost
Post Number: 2
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, July 02, 2006 - 12:36 am: |
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For those of you who came into this thread for some first hand information and maybe a touch of reassurance like I did, rest assured. You will find many who will think you are being selfish and just killing a life who has no ability to fight back. But the key is to really ask yourself if you are ready to take on a responsbility for the next 21 years to raise another human being. Your answer may be a resounding NO like my husband and mine was.
In terms of the procedure itself, it can be relatively simple.
1. Go to a gynae, confirm the pregnancy. i would recommend ringing the gynae to ask if they perform terminations to start with. Our gynae didn't and thus was trying to persuade us to keep the child, which didnt help our emotional state at the time.
2. ask your gynae to make an appointment for pre-abortion counselling. U watch a short video and the cousellor discusses with you your reasons for your decision. I would advise thinking thru your decision clearly before attending counselling, and to be really honest with your partner in your discussions beforehand if he decides to attend with you. It is a tough decision to make, especially with a stranger in the room
3. wait 48hours to do the termination.
4. the termination itself is relatively painless. I had a pill inserted into the vaginal area to relax the cervix. after dilation the doctor gave me a sedative and i was asleep during the procedure. I woke up in the recovery room with slight cramps and was a bit giddy but none the worse for wear physically. I was discharged home shortly after.
all abortion clinics in singapore are MOH certified. If you like, surf the web for them and then call, so u don't get frustrated by speaking to gynaes who aren't sympathetic. That said tho, when we saw our first gynae who was pro-life, it forced us to re-think the issue more deeply, which re-enforced our decision in the end.
I am lucky to know about the psychological impact of abortions and to have an extremely supportive and lovely partner to help me thru this. I think seeking out non-judgemental people who can help u thru this rought bit is crucial, as it is hard to know when u will experience difficulties coping.
For those of you out there seeking information, i hope this helps. Good luck to you all and take care. |
Maggie Chua (maggie_chua)
New member
Username: maggie_chua
Post Number: 25
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, July 02, 2006 - 4:38 pm: |
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my only post,
hope that this will be your last and final post. from what you have written, you seem to be strongly encouraging the ladies who are pregnant unintentionally to go for abortion. and not only that. it seems that you are perfectly ok with killing a life and that means nothing to you.
i have nothing more to say to you except to pray that god will bless your soul.
one more final thing to say to you. if in future you and hubby become parents and see how wonderful and beautiful your children are growing, i hope you will think back and REGRET that the firstborn was actually killed by both of you. he/she could have grown up now and would have been a big brother/sister to his siblings. god bless u |
Mikel (mikel)
Junior Member
Username: mikel
Post Number: 179
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, July 02, 2006 - 9:31 pm: |
|
My only post
The reason you gave for terminating your pregnancy is that both you and your hubby are not ready for a bb as it means giving up your present lifestyle and you guys need a window period to adjust ... hmmm ...Then why didn't you take precautions??? Since you are in the mental health field and aware of poor parenting, I'm pretty sure that you should know if you do not want unwanted pregnancy, you should take precautions. your bb Well in case you have another unplanned pregnancy, I beg you to take precautions!!!!
My bb was unplanned and my pregnancy practically threw my career plans ( I was taking a course to embark on a new career) out of the window but abortion did not come into my mind. By the way, I'm one of those kind of parents 'who just kinda pop them out and assume that things will just work out and u learn as u go' (quote and unquote) and I'm still learning everyday. Nobody knows how to take care of a baby unless you have one or your are a nanny. |
sp (spongme)
Intermediate Member
Username: spongme
Post Number: 2285
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Monday, July 03, 2006 - 1:19 pm: |
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my only post,
sorry to hear that u & yr hb had to make this tough decision to abort yr firstborn...
oops, I'm the 2nd type of parents, can u pls share with me the huge and extremely noticeable difference in my kid? is there any way for me to overcome this now? my kid is 11 mo. TIA... (u can pm me if u don't wanna post here) |
tamarind (tamarind)
Intermediate Member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 2244
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 03, 2006 - 1:47 pm: |
|
My hubby and I waited a whole 7 years after our marriage to have our first baby, because for all those years, we always thought we were not ready. Just like "my only post", we thought that having a baby is a HUGE responsiblity. I was very afraid to get pregnant during that period, and I started taking contraceptive pills a few months before our wedding night.
After 7 years, when we had our first baby, we were completely thrown off our feet. The truth is, no one is ever prepared to have a baby No matter how many years you prepare yourself, it is totally useless. We struggled through the first year of our baby, both physically and emotionally drained. But the rewards are tremendous. I regret not having the baby a few years earlier. The truth is there is no difference to the child.
So now when I look at those people who keep saying they are not ready to have a baby, I feel that they are very ridiculous. How can this reason be good enough to take away a precious life ? What is worst is that they made use of this ridiculous reason to abort their baby. And they are making their baby pay for the mistake they have made, by not taking the proper precautions. |
Maggie Chua (maggie_chua)
New member
Username: maggie_chua
Post Number: 26
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Monday, July 03, 2006 - 2:12 pm: |
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agree with mikel and tamarind. shld take precautions instead of convenientlly aborting baby if get pregnant.
in the first place if dun want to get pregnant then either take precautions or dun have sex!! |
dancestrella (dancestrella)
New member
Username: dancestrella
Post Number: 35
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Monday, July 03, 2006 - 9:40 pm: |
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My only post
You will never understand why most mothers as those in this forum are so against abortion, until you become a mother yourself.
I am not on a pro-life crusade. I do think there might be circumstances where abortion is the best or only option for some people. But in your case, it seems senseless.
Like tamarind said, no one is ever fully prepared for motherhood. It completely throws you off. We all just do the best we can, to rise to the occasion.
You sound full of conviction. In a way, good for you, because you're the one who has to live with your decision. But posting your experience in this public forum might inadvertently sway some Mothers-To-Be who are uncertain about their baby. I agree with Maggie that you may unintentionally have encouraged some of them to have abortions. |
sp (spongme)
Intermediate Member
Username: spongme
Post Number: 2288
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 04, 2006 - 9:01 am: |
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maggie, mikel, tamarind, dancestrella,
agree that it's quite hard to be 100% prepared for bb, really not simple or easy. I'm still learning everyday becoz bb always change... got to keep adapting... 
yalor, shld take precautions, if take already still strike means God wants us to hv the bb lah, FATED already, keke.
mikel,
my unplanned bb also threw my career plan off, so wasted, sigh, but it's ok lah, after see bb so cute, happy to sacrifice also, kekeke. |
Mikel (mikel)
Junior Member
Username: mikel
Post Number: 187
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 04, 2006 - 4:22 pm: |
|
sp
Yes ... a bit wasted when I did rather well for the course and now I've become a SAHM ... don't know when I can bear to leave my bb and go to work ... |
Maggie Chua (maggie_chua)
New member
Username: maggie_chua
Post Number: 27
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 04, 2006 - 10:19 pm: |
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ya i agree too. no one can ever be prepared for motherhood. its never a bed of roses. but we are learning new things everyday and we are trying our very best. in the end its all worth it.
god bless all the mummies here. |
bestwishes (sane)
New member
Username: sane
Post Number: 69
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, July 06, 2006 - 1:04 pm: |
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Totally agreed with the gals, to the MY ONLY POST
Please take precaution since you are a mature adult and not some underaged teenagers! |
MH (munchkukie)
Member
Username: munchkukie
Post Number: 672
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 06, 2006 - 6:06 pm: |
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I always feel about this...
pro-choice? Nah, it is selfish and stupidity! |
yell0wp0wer (yell0wp0wer)
New member
Username: yell0wp0wer
Post Number: 13
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 8:55 pm: |
|
In Myonlypost's defence, I think she provided some helpful information, and I'm sure those who're in a quandary right now will be grateful to read what she has to say.
To the enraged mothers on this thread, if it pains you to read that people are considering abortion, please save yourselves the upset and avoid reading these postings. There are many women out there trying to conceive, and there are an equal number of women who have conceived and are devastated by the news. Nothing's fair, and we all want what we haven't got.
As for the rationale that mature adults should take precautions, do "mature adults" really exist? Just have a look at some of the postings on this forum -- mothers-to-be making racist comments over not getting seats on trains, telling people to choose between their pets and their babies, not respecting their hired help, etc. These women may have chosen to raise their babies, but what sorts of values will they be passing on?
I'm a first-time mum-to-be myself, btw. Am also constantly questioning m'self on what sort of parent I will be. |
rains (rains)
Junior Member
Username: rains
Post Number: 129
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 1:33 pm: |
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I'm indignant that there're mothers who actually condemn another potential mother for her decision to abort her baby. We've all been mothers. Which mother would want to abort at will her child if there's a better choice? I find it strange that some mothers are so self-righteous about their choice to give birth.
You may have gone thro a similar scenario in which the pregnancy was unexpected, but nobody is in an exact situation as another. That's what makes us all so different despite the fact that we consume similar stuff.
Which mother have not given up some things for their little ones? Whatever sacrifices we've made, it's always for the good or betterment of our children and we make that decision becos we think it's a better decision. I find it absurd and immature to tell people how much you've given up for your child.
The decision to abort a child is never an easy one to begin with. I've heard of how a friend's friend trying to make the "right" decision by asking for advice. They had to make the decision fast and within that three days, it must have been sheer torment for that gal. For some, it may have been courageous to go ahead and give birth; for others, it may have been out of cowardice to give birth. Not everyone has the courage to abort a life that is gradually forming in their body.
Abortion is nonetheless a decision. These gals have to live with their decision for the rest of their lives. And how many of them have felt,"If only I had given birth to that baby ..." That friend's friend hasn't gotten over the abortion since 6 months ago. She'll probably have it on her conscience for many years to come. Looking at how these gals have suffered, the least we can do is not to judge them. |
tamarind (tamarind)
Intermediate Member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 2317
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 6:43 pm: |
|
It is not possible to close my eyes to these postings, because I view the unborn fetus as a precious life, equivalent to a newborn baby. Will you keep quiet when someone tell you she is going to throw her newborn baby down a rubbish chute ?
This is a forum for mother-to-be and mothers. Rather than asking people not to read such postings, why don't you ask people not to post abortion related topics here ? It is not right to blast other people who are trying to save a life here.
I understand that some mommies may have no choice but to abort their baby. What bothers me is the reason some people give when aborting their baby, like
1. Not prepared to have the baby
2. Want to enjoy life first
3. Want to travel the world first
4, Want to have a big wedding first
These people need to be educated that a baby is a precious life, not just some flesh and blood that you can simply flush away. Just like they need to be educated about the different types of contraception. |
dancestrella (dancestrella)
New member
Username: dancestrella
Post Number: 49
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 7:57 pm: |
|
Abortion is the taking of a life. There are no 2 ways about it.
Being tormented by that decision does not make it right.
The way I see it is, if by our voices in this forum we can help save another baby, then why keep silent? There are enough abortions out there - what we need to do is discourage, not encourage nor be apathetic. |
Mikel (mikel)
Junior Member
Username: mikel
Post Number: 244
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 8:49 pm: |
|
I've watched a recent documentary on ChannelU regarding single mothers and one portion of it is about the abortion process. It's really mortifying to know that women actually went throught the abortion process (not including geniune cases). Do you know what they do? They insert a tube in to suck the foetus out. In the process of vacuuming 'it' out, the foetus' body is torn into pieces!!! The foetus already has legs, hands, heads when it's 8 weeks old!
Using ultra scan, docs find out that foetus actually senses the danger and tries to avoid the tube. The heart beat also increases. Sadly, it can't escape from 'its' fate. Being a mother and woman, I can't understand why pple abort baby for frivoulous reasons, esp when married.
rains
Pls read through Myonlypost posting carefully esp the reasons giving for abortion. Pls understand how sad we are to find a yound innocent life being literally torn apart for the carelessness of their parents for not taking precautions. |
yell0wp0wer (yell0wp0wer)
New member
Username: yell0wp0wer
Post Number: 14
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 11:02 pm: |
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Tamarind: Since forums are a free-for-all, one can't stop others from posting abortion-related threads in here. And like it or not, women considering abortion are also mothers, and they have every right to be here.
If I were reading a thread on women trying to conceive, and I found women in there trying to dissuade people from having kids with emotional arguments, I would react in the same way that I have here.
My issue is less with the fact that women are in here speaking out against abortion and passing judgement on other women, and more with the fact that some of them are trying to silence others with different views and experiences, such as Myonlypost. |
tamarind (tamarind)
Intermediate Member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 2319
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 8:30 am: |
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yell0wp0wer,
Yes forums are free-for-all. If anyone post a topic here, then she cannot avoid reading other different views and experiences. We have equal rights to post our views too.
If the woman has already decided on abortion, and don't want to listen to any other views, then she should not post in a "motherhood" forum, and she should not expect to get any support here. She should go and post in the "abortion" forum which I think someone has posted earlier in this thread. Different forums have different target audiences.
I believe those who post here needs help on making a decision. There is a mommy Klutz who has changed her mind about abortion.
How do you compare abortion with trying to conceive ? In the first case a precious life is already formed, and the mother is trying to destroy it. In the second case, the new life is nowhere in sight.
Mikel's post has explained very well that a foetus is a life. I believe those people who abort their baby due to frivolous reasons simply do not understand this fact. |
Odie (odie)
Member
Username: odie
Post Number: 900
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 12:13 pm: |
|
Everybody has their rights to post here. If he or she has chosen to post here because of this right... he or she must respect that others have their rights too and that includes the right to voice their differing views.
It is ironic if one advocates this right but at the same time deny this right to the other party.
Isn't it equally ironic for one to judge another for having pass judgments? |
sp (spongme)
Intermediate Member
Username: spongme
Post Number: 2339
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 2:53 pm: |
|
mikel,
thanks for yr posting on the effect of abortion on the foetus, I didn't know that they can sense danger, can't imagine their fear...
ya, we all hv different opinion, so we all say our piece here in the forum. we won't judge other ppl becoz we are not in their shoes. all we can do is try to persuade, if it doesn't work, too bad lor. |
sp (spongme)
Intermediate Member
Username: spongme
Post Number: 2340
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 3:13 pm: |
|
rains,
agree with yr posting very much. we shld not judge even if what ppl do in the end is against our beliefs.
err, does telling ppl what we sacrifice for our bb make us absurd & immature?  aiyo, then if ppl ask how is life after bb what shld we say???... since cannot mention abt our sacrifice unless we want ppl to think we are absurd & immature...  no hard feelings pleeeese... |
Droopy (droopy_eyes)
Member
Username: droopy_eyes
Post Number: 724
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 8:36 pm: |
|
I believe most mommies here are angry with the REASONS given by some for abortion, and not condemning all abortions becoz there are cases which really call for sympathy. But definitely not to those who 'are not ready' or 'want to enjoy life 1st'.
Stop being philosophical by saying mothers are selfish too or mature adults dun exist etc etc. That is another issue all together! The existence of selfish people makes murders justified, isit?
If u dun wan people to judge your wrong actions, you should not ask for advice in the 1st place. You just want to feel less guilt, that's all.
MH, well-said. Pro-choice? Nah...what nonsense. |
sp (spongme)
Intermediate Member
Username: spongme
Post Number: 2347
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 10:51 am: |
|
tamarind, droopy and other mummies,
I certainly agree that some of the reasons given to justify abortion is not agreeable to most of us mothers, hence we will want to sound our discouragement.
talking abt pro-choice vs pro-life... ok, what do u all think abt this scenario... let's say my gynae tells me I'm now carrying a bb that will die once it's delivered but will thrive as long as inside my body. let's say I've gone to see 3 specialists and they all say the same thing. now what should I do?
pro-choice ppl will say I should abort it becoz once it's out it will die anyway. I have a choice to end bb's life now rather than give birth and let the bb die on the delivery bed.
pro-life ppl will say I should carry till full term becoz it has a life and I have no right to take it away!!! I should love the bb and nurture it as long as it lives.
most of us will not be in the above extreme camps, we'll be somewhere in between where we believe it's ok to end a life thru abortion if there are strong medical reasons to do so. we may even think it's ridiculous to consider carrying to full term just to let the bb come out and die.
anyway, to each it's own, it's so hard to say someone is wrong or right in this gray area. let's just hope whatever we discuss here will make anyone comtemplating aborting their bb to THINK DEEPER and MANY MANY TIMES before they make their final decision. |
rains (rains)
Junior Member
Username: rains
Post Number: 132
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 11:49 am: |
|
spongme,
I laughed when I read your later posting. I apologise if I'd sounded mean. I guess I have a problem with the word "sacrifice". I don't believe in it. Whatever decision we've made, it must have been something that we've deliberated on and believed that it's a better choice before we arrive at it. Chinese or rather, Asians, always feel that they have sacrificed this and that for the decisions they have made. I'd feel,"If you really feel that it is such a great sacrifice, then don't sacrifice la!" Why make a decision and then make yourself look so noble or matyred?
I'm currently a studying mum and I've friends who would say how much they have sacrificed to go back for studies again. I think it's so lame - if you didn't see better money in going back to study again, you wouldn't have come back in the first place. If you're not prepared to give up time with your baby, then don't come back. I suppose I have a problem with people who "sacrificed" yet want to complain. I wasn't talking specifically about you bcos I could tell that you were happy to give up the career for your babe.
O yeah, I read from a book which says that foetus can experience whatever the mother is feeling. If you are depressed, the foetus can feel it too. If you're stressed, the foetus will be stressed. And if you have thoughts of abortion, the foetus will feel very sad. That's why it's good to speak calmly and assuringly to the foetus.
To those who are angry with the act of abortion,
I believe those gals who went for abortion are also aware that their acts equate to that of a murder, and their own child at that. Yes, we ought to be angry with those young gals who treat abortion like it's just a routine or "mature adults" who abort for frivolous reasons, but doesn't the fact that someone bothers to post here tell you that she's not a willing party to abort the baby? Yes, it may be a "method" for the person concerned to feel less guilty about the impending abortion. But it's still a difficult decision nonetheless. The fact is, there are gals who wish they could keep their babies but couldn't. If they keep them, can you help to raise them?
How about those irresponsible mothers who starve their kids to death? Or the ones who lay their kids on the railway track? Or the ones who burn or strangle their kids alive? Or the ones who leave their babies to the mercy of cats and dogs? They may have delivered the babies, but are they raising them in the way the kids deserve? I really would rather these people abort the babies then torture these children like that.
If you've seen a friend or beloved genuinely struggling in between the decision: whether to abort or let live, you wouldn't have the heart to chide them. The most we can do is to tell them we'll support them, physically, financially and emotionally, if they should decide to give birth.
I'm impressed with the last line of spongme,"let's just hope whatever we discuss here will make anyone comtemplating aborting their bb to THINK DEEPER and MANY MANY TIMES before they make their final decision." Isn't this what the forum is all about? |
dancestrella (dancestrella)
New member
Username: dancestrella
Post Number: 50
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 2:56 pm: |
|
Adoption is another topic altogether, but I do hope adoption will become increasingly more accepted as a substitute for abortion.
I saw a programme in the US about a poor Hispanic couple who had several kids, could not afford to raise another and yet they got pregnant again. In her interview, the mother said that they conscciously chose to give their baby up for adoption, in place of having an abortion. I think this is what having respect for life means. |
tamarind (tamarind)
Intermediate Member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 2331
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 7:17 pm: |
|
rains,
If the girl wish to keep her baby, I am willing to give her whatever help she needs, and I am sure that many mommies here will do the same. There is now a thread in a marketplace about a teenage single mom asking for help, and many mommies have responded.
In Singapore no mother and baby will starve to death. Even if the mother only has O-level education, she can easily find a job as a waitress to earn enough money to support herself and the baby. They can also seek help from the government.
Since you have seen your friend genuinely struggling, have you ever thought of asking them to give birth to the baby and give it up for adoption ? Have you ever wondered why they don't do so ? Let me tell you this fact, they would rather kill their babies than give it to someone, they are simply cold blooded and selfish. That's why I don't give a damn when you tell me how "remorseful" they feel.
In the old days when women do not have the option to abort, many unwanted babies are given up for adoption or simply left in front of orphanage or convents. Now given the option, these women would rather kill their own babies. Can someone explain to me why ? |
Mikel (mikel)
Junior Member
Username: mikel
Post Number: 249
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 9:13 pm: |
|
rains
'but doesn't the fact that someone bothers to post here tell you that she's not a willing party to abort the baby?' ... Not a willing party to abort, then why abort? Forced to do so or did someone point a gun at them to go for abortion? We are merely commenting on why did someone go for an abortion for some frivolous reasons, can't see that she is not an unwilling party.
'If you've seen a friend or beloved genuinely struggling in between the decision: whether to abort or let live, you wouldn't have the heart to chide them.' Of course we wouldn't chide them, the most is that we ask them to consider carefully and of course support their decision even though we may not totally agree to it.
'I'm impressed with the last line of spongme,"let's just hope whatever we discuss here will make anyone comtemplating aborting their bb to THINK DEEPER and MANY MANY TIMES before they make their final decision." Isn't this what the forum is all about?' ... That's what we have been doing, right? Asking Yuki to consider and think about it carefully. About Myonlypost, she seems to suggest that if the baby comes at a wrong time, then too bad, have to abort the baby. This seems to be a little too much. |
Samval (samval)
Member
Username: samval
Post Number: 693
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 10:33 pm: |
|
I agree with droopy that many mothers here are angry with the REASONS given for abortion.
rains,
pls read CAREFULLY Myonlypost's message above. like what mikel said, she's simply suggesting that if baby comes at the wrong time then too bad, have to abort. and what does she mean by she was "forced" to abort?? did anyone point a gun at her head?? come on...it's just another way of feeling less guilty by saying that.
although i agree that we, as human beings have to respect other people's decisions, but the reasons given by Myonlypost sounds absurd.
several reasons whereby abortion will be somewhat acceptable are:-
1) medical reasons
2) deformities in the fetus (upon doc's advise)
3) it is a life and death situation for the mother
4) rape
And NOT some stupid reasons such as:-
1) honeymoon
2) customary wedding
3) not ready
4) want to enjoy life first
and many more... |
Samval (samval)
Member
Username: samval
Post Number: 694
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 10:39 pm: |
|
rains,
forgot to add...you mentioned above "to those who are angry with the act of abortion.."
let me repeat again. we are not angry with the act of abortion. we are simply angry with the REASONS given for the abortion. |
bestwishes (sane)
New member
Username: sane
Post Number: 78
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 11:13 pm: |
|
Supportive mummies here especially Tamarind~ Well said of ur comments!! |
rains (rains)
Junior Member
Username: rains
Post Number: 135
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 9:47 pm: |
|
Wow ... everybody addresses to me ... I feel ... great. Hahahaa ... at least nobody has turned violent and hurled abuses at me.
I suppose those who choose to abort instead of giving the baby up for adoption is becos of the shame factor. It's usually more of the process than the product that they dread, and the need to tell their parents and the risk of incurring their parents' wrath. I'm quite sure if the baby can pop out before their tummy gets obvious, they wouldn't mind giving it up for adoption.
I think I can read English and I know it's the REASONS that you are angry about since the first post without having to read the in-betweens ("we ought to be angry with those young gals who treat abortion like it's just a routine or "mature adults" who abort for frivolous reasons"). I've also been trying to show you the REASONS we should be more sympathetic towards some gals who have to abort too.
I'm not supportive of abortion in case you think I am, but that's not an issue to me tho. I felt that Myonlypost does offer some form of valuable information that you don't find just anywhere. And I seriously don't think anybody would be encouraged to abort just by reading her post. I've read her post again very CAREFULLY and it seems to me that she has only one reason for her own case - that is, she is not ready to be responsible for another human life. I think some of you read too much into that line. I certainly don't think it takes on the tone of "I got pregnant? Oh, the timing's not right. Too bad." We've all different degrees of "unreadiness". She may have reasons we know not of.
Like what some people has said, that prior an abortion, one would be shown a video on the process of abortion. I feel that if one can still go ahead and abort the baby, she must have hardened her heart to do it. And what might have made a gal hardened her heart so much as to kill her own foetus? To the gal concerned, it must be a reason that's beyond the help of most people. Or simply, the shame factor if the gal is not married. For sure, we can offer help to a teen mum-to-be, but for how long? A lifetime? That will be nice. In reality, we don't give financial support for a lifetime (and I'm not talking about donation). Besides, there's this thing called "pride" in all human beings. I wouldn't want to receive help from others for the rest of my life.
It's been nice to exchange different points of view here. I certainly don't support abortion. There's no denying that those who choose to go for abortion place their life above their babies', definitely. I might have been as vehement as some of you in voicing out against abortion (oops, the REASONS for abortion) if I didn't witness the regret of two gals first hand and second hand.
Oh yeah, do pardon me for capitalising letters. It's so rude to do it isn't it? Tsk tsk! |
dancestrella (dancestrella)
New member
Username: dancestrella
Post Number: 51
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 11:58 pm: |
|
It is tragically ironic that Myonlypost, in trying to avoid being a bad parent who isn't "emotionally" ready for her baby, becomes the worst kind of parent of all - one who kills her baby.
How I think her post might have influenced those women considering abortion:
1. She was "financially more secure than most people" and in a loving and committed relationship. For those in much more pitiable circumstances, they may feel that abortion for them is even more justified, before considering other alternatives.
2. Her description of the procedure as "relatively simple". I'm not a medical professional, but I think it's common knowledge that abortion carries considerable health risks.
3. The fact that she posted her message right after she "had just gone thru an abortion today. Just this morning in fact." For me, it hit too close to home. Shouldn't someone truly in pain about her decision be grieving at that time, rather than putting what sounds like quite a detached account on the internet?
4. She thought "it was neccesary" to counter the posts here as most of them "have portrayed abortions in a wholly negative light".
Abortion is a wholly negative thing, mitigated only by the reasons why it is necessary. Why should anyone want to put a positive spin on it by saying it is better to abort than to be guilty of "poor parenting"?
I honestly feel that she had no business writing such a post (free speech, free forum and all considered...). It was highly irresponsible of her -- that she hadn't taken precautions, that she didn't face up to the consequences of her failure to take precautions, that she didn't seriously consider the impact of her message here. |
tamarind (tamarind)
Intermediate Member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 2346
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 20, 2006 - 10:24 am: |
|
rains,
"shame" and "parents' wrath" are a very small price to pay for the mistake they have made. Don't forget that it is the girl's and bf's stupidity that get her pregnant in the first place. It seems like you don't fully appreciate the value of human life.
Most of us here were responding to myonlypost, who is already married. What kind of shame is there for a married woman to carry a baby to full term ? She could have give up the baby for adoption, and simply tell people that she has sent her baby out for 24x7 babysitting. But she is too selfish to let other people have her baby, so she would rather do the most cruel thing.
dancestrella,
I think you are right that myonlypost was not grieving. I have seen a real life example.
I was in SGH 2 days ago for tubal ligation. At the same time there was a young woman who came in for abortion. She was accompanied by her BF. The strange thing is that from beginning to end, she had this smile on her face. I don't see any grief in her at all. After the abortion, she was resting in a bed right next to mine. The nurse asked her what kind of precaution she took, she said "None". She does not regret the mistake she has made at all. |
baile (baile)
New member
Username: baile
Post Number: 4
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, July 20, 2006 - 5:03 pm: |
|
I am an excited mother into my 38th weeks of pregnancy. I can't wait to see my first born; a wonderful gift that God has given to me and my hubby.
Back to the topic of this thread, while i am so excited about my baby, i'd like to share with you about my Mum, who had passed away few months ago and a little secret that she shared with me before she left, that is, her abortion of my elder sibling.
She has been keeping this to herself for 30 years,I am not sure whether my father knew about it. She told me as I was the closest to her in the family. When she was younger and already married to my dad, she got pregnant but at the same time, she found a dream job of hers. However, the pre-requsite to get this job was not to be pregnant for the first 6 months of employment. back then, she was already 3 mths preg (that's supposed to be my elder sibling, i didn't know I am actually number 2). So, to choose between a fantastic career and starting a family, she picked the former and aborted her first child.
She was very successful in her career but among her siblings (7 of them, all sisters), she was the one always had woman sickness. in and out of the hospital almost every year to remove fibroids, breast lumps, etc. Within the family, we always joked about why mum having these problems while her sisters were all fine. There isn't any known medical explanation for the cause.
My mum was diagnoised with cancer, started from colon and spread to other organs. There was a night I slept with her (to reminisce my childhood days, whenever i feel weak, I always asked my mum to sleep with me) she suddenly reviewed this secret of hers. She confessed that she was not too guilty back then but if she were to choose again, she'd want to keep the child as her perspective of life had changed. She valued life more so than before. she struggled for five years to live before she left this world.
I think, many women chose abortion for various reasons. However, there can be some hidden effects on them after such act. Nature always has a way to deal with acts that are against it. Just look at the way humans exploit the nature such as deforestation, excessive farming and fishing in the name of modernisation and reducing poverty, etc. Sounds noble isn't it? But we are causing our own disasters. Just look at the Tsunami affected areas. the natural vegetation along the coast of one of these places (acted as a natural barrier preventing huge sea waves from hitting the coast)were removed to build holiday beach resorts so as to boost tourism and bring in $$ to the country. However, did they realise that they had removed what the nature had provided which was supposed to protect their lives.
My point is that, it is your attitude and values that deter your sequence of actions. For myself, I have seen less privileged ones who are, deprived from what other normal people have and yet, they could live happily and enjoy the essence of life itself. I have learned so much from them, every life is precious and beautiful. I cherish every life and i wish those who are planning for an abortion, please think again! |
rains (rains)
Junior Member
Username: rains
Post Number: 137
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 20, 2006 - 5:15 pm: |
|
tamarind,
I take offence at this line "It seems like you don't fully appreciate the value of human life." You do not have a right to judge me or insult me. And don't say that you are not. How do you like it if I say that you are the one who do not understand the meaning of a "life"? A discussion board is always enjoyable until someone starts launching personal attacks. We're exchanging what we've seen, experienced or heard. There's no need to impose a negative judgment on someone you don't even know.
dancestrella,
Well, it's been insightful the way you interpret myonlypost's message. I appreciate a different way of reading it. If I had read it in that light, I'll be agitated as well. I agree that her post might make someone who considers abortion feel more "assured". I thought that could be the littlest comfort for someone who is totally alone and not knowing what to expect for the abortion. I always feel that there's a danger in dismissing abortion as an irresponsible act becos you tend to judge the gal who goes for the abortion. I haven't come across any mother who is glad that she aborted her baby. I seriously haven't. They have their own struggles to deal with and they remember how old the baby would be if he (it's always "he", strangely) had not been aborted. I must say I am incapable of being angry with them.
The way I see it, myonlypost has no obligation to show her grief here. Or perhaps this is the way she grieves - to tell a whole world of strangers that she aborted her child while trying to justify the abortion. Not everybody grieves in the same manner. I know of someone who grieves by laughing out loud like nobody's business altho she's hurting inside when her bf walked out on her. |
tamarind (tamarind)
Intermediate Member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 2347
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 20, 2006 - 7:04 pm: |
|
rains,
I am not going to take back anything I wrote. My remarks are in response to what you wrote. This is exactly the problem with young people right now. They refused to face up to the truth. Someone has to tell the truth as it is. I got people judging me for passing negative remarks too, so what ? Anyway, don't bother continuing this. I am not going to bother to read anything else that is written by you.
|
Mikel (mikel)
Junior Member
Username: mikel
Post Number: 251
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, July 20, 2006 - 10:17 pm: |
|
rains
'Oh yeah, do pardon me for capitalising letters. It's so rude to do it isn't it? Tsk tsk!' ... It's really rude and why do you do even though you know it's rude? Even if you are angry or indignant, you don't have to be rude, as you say it.
'I know of someone who grieves by laughing out loud like nobody's business altho she's hurting inside when her bf walked out on her.' ... I think the comparison is not a juxtaposition. How to compare losing a boyfriend to taking away a life?
We know that she doesn't have to show her grieve but she doesn't have to be nonchalent about it too. Yuki is asking for advice and she's telling her and everyone that abortion is a very simple process and implied that there are very little risk involved. |
anonymous (silent)
New member
Username: silent
Post Number: 2
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 12:16 am: |
|
Baby @ 6 weeks |
anonymous (silent)
New member
Username: silent
Post Number: 3
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 12:17 am: |
|
"Life is present from the moment of conception."
- Dr. Jerome Lejeune, late professor and world renowned geneticist,
University of Descarte, Paris
"A person's a person, no matter how small!"
- from "Horton Hears a Who," by Dr. Seuss, late famous children's author
|
anonymous (silent)
New member
Username: silent
Post Number: 4
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 12:24 am: |
|
Baby @ week 7
Do you bear to kill it? |
anonymous (silent)
New member
Username: silent
Post Number: 5
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 12:25 am: |
|
Baby @ week 8 |
anonymous (silent)
New member
Username: silent
Post Number: 6
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 1:23 am: |
|
Young teenagers who's still under parental guidance. we could understand their dilemma of being a potential singe parent, facing social/family pressure and future financial problems.
Despite being young, I salute some of them who have the courage to take responsible for their own action.
I've seen those young parents who done a great job by raising their children well.
. For those parents who abuse their children etc, I couldn't comment much on their mental stability. It's fortunate that there are lesser of such child abuses in developed countries.
From what i've read, the mummies here do not condone the act of abortion but the reasons of abortions.
For those people who are able to post in perfect English here, high chances that they have been educated in safe sex precaution. We may feel that adults especially those who are mature enough to get married should take responsiblities for their own sexual thrills. If we encourage abortion and unprotected sex, there will be an high increase of innocent life loss, sexual transmitted disease and also damage to their own health, leading to broken marriage and eventually divorce as well.
News statistics reported that in once a week, there will be 3 women mostly 18-24 who went for abortion and also signficant increase of AIDS in young women from 18-39.
For those who's not trying for a baby, take responsibilities of ur own life.Practise safe sex, take sexual precaution to prevent innocent life loss and prevention of sexual diseases! |
Droopy (droopy_eyes)
Member
Username: droopy_eyes
Post Number: 732
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 1:59 pm: |
|
Guess what...I am really not interested in having a debate here esp to people who 'does not support abortion' and yet wants to waste time getting your point across to us. Maybe it helps in your thesis, I dun know. Our posts are simply directed to people who abort or are about to abort without a good reason. If there are people who genuinely needs advice here, we'll be glad to tell u what we feel. For people who adamantly believe it's ok to abort as they are 'not ready for a another human life' (after they conceived) or want to go honeymoon first or want to enjoy life first, go ahead lah. I think the bb deserves better parents anyway. I am glad none of my friends do that or else I will have one friend less.
For people who truly embrace freedom and not ready for another human life, I really understand coz a bb changes life forever. Agree with anonymous, practice safe sex. |
yell0wp0wer (yell0wp0wer)
New member
Username: yell0wp0wer
Post Number: 15
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 6:07 pm: |
|
For those who are in here looking for advice, read the arguments against abortion -- there are many on this page.
A different view is available here: www.imnotsorry.net
I recommended this site in two other threads because I read it when I was considering abortion, and I found it extremely comforting to know that many, many women have found themselves in the same predicament. Feeling less alone is the first step to recovering from the initial shock. And although I read countless positive abortion experiences on this site, I made a different choice in the end.
I'm due in a coupla weeks, but my husband and I were considering abortion initially. We later decided to keep the baby, not because of anything we read, or any advice we received, or even the abortion counselling we went through at KK hospital, which I felt was a sham because the counsellor refused to let my husband into our session until the video watching segment. And frankly, neither of us was moved by the video.
Essentially, we took a few days to let the news sink in. We talked about it a lot, and prayed a little. I think waiting a few days -- even one or two weeks -- to make a decision is the best thing one can do, whatever the eventual choice may be. |
tamarind (tamarind)
Intermediate Member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 2371
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 10:17 am: |
|
Courtesy of Cutebao |
sp (spongme)
Intermediate Member
Username: spongme
Post Number: 2371
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 1:09 pm: |
|
anonymous,
thanks for the amazing pictures! a picture says a thousand words, yr msg is very clear, how can we bear to kill our own baby who's alive and totally dependent on us for their life?
tamarind,
very meaningful, thanks for sharing it too. |
Kelly Chin (dirtifish)
New member
Username: dirtifish
Post Number: 46
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, July 27, 2006 - 8:06 pm: |
|
Hi Yellowpower,
You still here? dun know u also expecting. i have been long time dun dare/ dun bother to post any comment at the abortion topic.:P
Just hope those mothers who considering abortion, very sure they do the right choice, no regret later.
what pple discuss here really chim. I tot i were pro-choice. but now I realize i am pro-life, where...he is already 6 months in my tummy yet I am still confusing, not sure if I can give him the best in future. So, is this the consequence of being a pro-life person?....sigh... |
susanna low (susanna_low)
New member
Username: susanna_low
Post Number: 11
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 29, 2006 - 6:50 pm: |
|
hi kelly
dont u feel blessed feeling ur bb kicking inside u? wat do u mean abt the consequence of being pro life? |
smurf28 (smurf28)
New member
Username: smurf28
Post Number: 30
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, August 05, 2006 - 5:38 am: |
|
tamarind N silent,
I'm ur keep supporter .thank u for making a firm stand for respecting n cherish life!
i had heard a foetus'cry(a VERY soft cry n gone) when he/she came out fr her mum(miscarriage case )The mother was confined in bed completely(pass urine n bowel on bed too) to reduce risk but failed.Till now i still feel for the foetus..I used to work in hospital..seen many abortion cases but never had such experience..Always felt uncomfortable handle planned abortion so in end i ask for transfer.. i felt happier even thought was more stressful to work specialised unit.i saw babies with all kinds of medical conditions.it was happy to witnessed babies discharge with their anxious n concern parents.
for those considering abortion,
It is not easy to go through abortion( emotions n phyiscal aspect)PL consider wisely n seek for professional help.have a quiet moments with yourself n ur unborn baby...he/she is hunger to heart to heart communication with u.
May all be happy n free from sufferings! |
wendyg (wendyg)
Member
Username: wendyg
Post Number: 1726
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, August 17, 2006 - 1:33 pm: |
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i just read the posting by myonlypost
it's so sad that a baby so special being conceived on wedding night had been aborted, esp if wedding night is first time that husband & wife experience physical union. I'd be so proud & hv smthg to boast about in the years to come. However, hers turned into a sad story that likely she won't want to be reminded about, or only spk abt it 30yrs later, like baile's mom. |
lis (liztan)
Junior Member
Username: liztan
Post Number: 273
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, August 17, 2006 - 5:07 pm: |
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sorry just kaypoing. I chance upon this thread several times accidentally because 'abortion' and 'adoption' looks so similar. What irony! |
snow (snow666)
New member
Username: snow666
Post Number: 2
Registered: 8-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, August 19, 2006 - 10:24 pm: |
|
Was browsing through the forums and stumbled on this thread.
It amuses me when people choose to abort their babies with the most absurd, or rather, selfish reasons.
My mom married late and when she was pregnant with my younger brother, she was at age 40. Her doctor took her for an x-tray thinking there's a tumour in her tummy. After that, many gynae she consulted advised her strongly against keeping the baby, since x-tray affects the foetus' growth and also high-age pregnancy is of high risk. However she chose the keep the baby, my bro is 12 years old now, very healthy and strong.
I'm a MTB myself, mind u it isn't a planned nor smooth pregnancy since I'm not married(and not getting married any sooner), and my guy(not local) has to complete his studies overseas. Even though at the beginning no one was supportive of it, we chose to keep the baby. I deferred my course for a year and during these time where me and my bf will be completing our studies, both our parents will be supporting us and the baby financially and also emotionally. I'm glad that i've firmly said no to abortion even though friends and relatives insist it will be for the better.
But just for those others who might have thought of an abortion, pls think twice. It's a life u've created and growing in ur stomach everyday, even if u can't finance it, u can give it to others; there are many people who are willing to adopt babies, rather than killing it. As long as u are willing to keep the baby(if it's healthy of cos), i believe there are always people who are willing to help. Hope people with similar experiences as me will know that they ain't the only ones going through such obstacles and reconsider abortion.
-snow |
Samval (samval)
Member
Username: samval
Post Number: 716
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 21, 2006 - 9:13 pm: |
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hello snow,
you are one strong gal.
god bless u... |
Pauline (mother3001)
Junior Member
Username: mother3001
Post Number: 211
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, November 02, 2006 - 2:40 pm: |
|
This is the first time i saw this thread.
Oh dear! when i read this thread, i am crying from the start til the end.
For those who never wanted a baby, you wld not know how to love any baby.
Only when u have kid, u wld then feel different.
U feel heartache whenever u hear or see any news on kids abuse, kids abandoned etc... even movies can make u cry
In fact, me & my husband never wanted a baby at all. But things happen that changed our lives ..........
We had an extremely bad bike accident on the 1st day of Chinese New Year abt 5 years back, we r riding North-South highway to Phuket, just past Penang - then accident happen...............
Well, it was then a miracle to surive at a speed of 110km/hr.
I had injuries which will never healed & memory erased.
I escape from death and started to learn how to treasure life.
I feel good to be alive to see, to hear & to feel.
From then, we can no longer go riding....so plenty of time to make babies
Miracle happen.... my boy come entering into our lives.
Is only then, i started to look at other kids, i found every kids cute.
Every of their moves touches me, every kid is smart.
Any movies related to kids can make me cry and make me feel heartache.
For those who have decided to have an abortion.
Please be strong as life still carry on.....
BUT do constantly remind yourself that there will be no 2nd abortion.
Life is precious.
Do treasure others' lives like we treasure ourself |
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Motherhood, Pregnancies And Babies