Seeking honest advise please! Text flirting, cheating, or just talking about past with no agenda?

[FurryJ]

Hi fellow Mummies,

I need your kind help here. This is a message between a wife (not me) and a male friend she has met again after 20 years (not ex boyfiend or ex fling). The wife's husband feels that the content in the message is sexual and therefore the wife was about to cheat on him with the male friend.

Please feel free to share your honest opinions. this would help the couple very much in moving forward.

background:
The wife has been married for more than 10 years, and with the husband faithfully before that for 7 years before they got married. They have 2 young children whom they love and adore.

 

[JL8118]

Well, it depend on the wife's character. The 'cheeky' words she said, and the 'naughty things' he said may seems 'sexual'. Like said, depending on the wife's character. Cause they may have did 'naughty' things during the trip? Only they themself know.
If the wife often use 'cheeky' words to any friend (As cheeky can mean 'normal' and non-sexual stuff), then I don't think their conversation is 'sexual' or are about to cheat. However, based on the conversation, it may sound 'sexual' in a way, or I can say, 'flirty'.

 

[DWiz]

I'm not a mummy, but as a male, here's my thoughts...
Based on the above chat, I don't think the woman are about to cheat.
It's just some normal conversation between two friends whom did not meet/chat up for long (as mentioned, 20yrs?).
I'm not sure how old are them, but based on dating 7yrs, and marriage 10yrs (If I read correctly), so probably they (or at least she) is about 35-40? So 20yrs ago, she should be 15-20 when know the guy, and the 'naughty things' mentioned in chat, I guess is just kids playing around. I believe since when we were young, we did naughty things too right?
Cheeky can be mean playful in someway. Hence if I'm the hubby, I don't think she is about to cheat. Like I always told my wife. I trusted her, doesn't mean I trusted her male friend especially. So probably same goes for this case.
My advice is that probably the wife should maybe introduce the guy to her hubby? Or maybe can tell her hubby about him. Like maybe they were schoolmates?

 

[FurryJ]

Well, it depend on the wife's character. The 'cheeky' words she said, and the 'naughty things' he said may seems 'sexual'. Like said, depending on the wife's character. Cause they may have did 'naughty' things during the trip? Only they themself know.
If the wife often use 'cheeky' words to any friend (As cheeky can mean 'normal' and non-sexual stuff), then I don't think their conversation is 'sexual' or are about to cheat. However, based on the conversation, it may sound 'sexual' in a way, or I can say, 'flirty'.

Thanks for your feedback!

 

[FurryJ]

I'm not a mummy, but as a male, here's my thoughts...
Based on the above chat, I don't think the woman are about to cheat.
It's just some normal conversation between two friends whom did not meet/chat up for long (as mentioned, 20yrs?).
I'm not sure how old are them, but based on dating 7yrs, and marriage 10yrs (If I read correctly), so probably they (or at least she) is about 35-40? So 20yrs ago, she should be 15-20 when know the guy, and the 'naughty things' mentioned in chat, I guess is just kids playing around. I believe since when we were young, we did naughty things too right?
Cheeky can be mean playful in someway. Hence if I'm the hubby, I don't think she is about to cheat. Like I always told my wife. I trusted her, doesn't mean I trusted her male friend especially. So probably same goes for this case.
My advice is that probably the wife should maybe introduce the guy to her hubby? Or maybe can tell her hubby about him. Like maybe they were schoolmates?

Thanks for your feedback. Great to hear from male perspective.

 

[sane]

I also feel is a catchup between 2 old friends.

As a husband, I don’t think is respectful to pry on his wife’s privacy.

And also if his marriage is strong, there’s no need to be scared of intruding into his marriage.

Just treat the wife well, treat her with respect and appreciate of what she has done for the family over the years. If a woman feel loved and trust is established, 3rd party is out of question.

 

[Sam771]

I thjnk transparency and honesty Is base line of marriage..y to let her go wrong if she only stumbling ..correct it right away not like Sherlock homes but like James bond..reinforce the importance of trust as the friend may or may not be wrong but u have to act right

 

[FurryJ]

I also feel is a catchup between 2 old friends.

As a husband, I don’t think is respectful to pry on his wife’s privacy.

And also if his marriage is strong, there’s no need to be scared of intruding into his marriage.

Just treat the wife well, treat her with respect and appreciate of what she has done for the family over the years. If a woman feel loved and trust is established, 3rd party is out of question.

Thanks so much for your kind response!

 

[FurryJ]

Hi everybody. Just wanted some advise..

After more than 9 months, unfrotunately, the couple still continues to have non-stop quarrels over the incident. The Husband has been telling the wife that he wants a divorce, but the wife counters and says she does not want it, and insists that she had no ill intention. The wife has been feeling very helpless and whatever reason and explanation she has provided to her husband, seems to have fallen flat. She really loves her family, but she feels that her husband doesnt understand.
He continuously accuses her of an affair while she denies it.

Please advise

 

[Mongkok]

Hi everybody. Just wanted some advise..

After more than 9 months, unfrotunately, the couple still continues to have non-stop quarrels over the incident. The Husband has been telling the wife that he wants a divorce, but the wife counters and says she does not want it, and insists that she had no ill intention. The wife has been feeling very helpless and whatever reason and explanation she has provided to her husband, seems to have fallen flat. She really loves her family, but she feels that her husband doesnt understand.
He continuously accuses her of an affair while she denies it.

Please advise

why the husband is SO eager to move on? u sure the trip isn't during the 7yrs she was with the current husband, then bf?

 

[lakshsony]

Hi fellow Mummies,

I need your kind help here. This is a message between a wife (not me) and a male friend she has met again after 20 years (not ex boyfiend or ex fling). The wife's husband feels that the content in the message is sexual and therefore the wife was about to cheat on him with the male friend.

Please feel free to share your honest opinions. this would help the couple very much in moving forward.

background:
The wife has been married for more than 10 years, and with the husband faithfully before that for 7 years before they got married. They have 2 young children whom they love and adore.

View attachment 733996

View attachment 733997

I don't see anything wrong in their conversation. It may look flirty but as long as both know their boundaries, everything should be good. We can't decide or judge anyone merely based on the text messages. Maybe both of them are extroverts and extra comfortable with each other.