| Author |
Message |
    
Linda (linda_thea)
Intermediate Member
Username: linda_thea
Post Number: 2405
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Friday, November 03, 2006 - 2:31 am: | 
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To each their own.. somethings are felt only when we reach a certain phrase in life.. for those who have not reached that phrase, they will never be able to feel it.
I agree tt the forum should be such tt people get help/opinions and assistance. Not criticism nor scoldings. Everyone knows abortion = killing of life, no need to rub too much salt into the wound. And everyone decides for their own reasons, selfish or not, forced or not, and honestly, whatever the decision doesn't concern us or affect us in our life.
The choice they made, they have to live with it, not us. Neither will we feel the guilt of them not keeping the baby nor will we be faced with the agony/ pain of keeping an unwanted baby. So who are we to pass harsh judgements/ sacastic remarks?
There isn't much forums to go in Singapore already, please let this be a place to help people seriously in distress, even though it is a motherhood webby. Dun force these people into a corner... If u feel anger/ disappointment/ shame in a particular topic, then dun read abt it. Let those who can handle the topic participate instead.
Let us try to be more courteous towards each other and stop scrutinising each para for 'debatable' issues. |
nuabaoz (nuabaoz)
New member
Username: nuabaoz
Post Number: 1
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Friday, November 24, 2006 - 4:02 pm: |
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Linda and grin, i fully agree with yr views!!! for others, i know u all meant well, but plsss man, stop imposing yr views on others!!!!! yr subjective views might 'destroy' someone's whole life man!!!..wat the %$&%$*...uuwwwww.. give some objective helpful advice lah!! |
nuabaoz (nuabaoz)
New member
Username: nuabaoz
Post Number: 2
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Friday, November 24, 2006 - 4:08 pm: |
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and anonymous, stop posting all these pics. it's no time to play with emotions. seeing something that is sooooo cute, vulnerable, fragile should not be the factors to decide if one shld keep the baby! |
anonymous (silent)
New member
Username: silent
Post Number: 13
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Friday, November 24, 2006 - 4:47 pm: |
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I am NOT posting these pics for fun, we are talking about REAL human life!! Not just an mere embryo created overnight by couples who's not planning for bb yet not responsible enough to take precaution. As an adult, they should take responsibility of their own actions. reality is always harsh.
I could only feel sorry for the innocent foetus that's being aborted.
Other than that, it's against my own conscience.
I do not like to argue further, all my comments were stated on the above post. |
anonymous (silent)
New member
Username: silent
Post Number: 14
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Friday, November 24, 2006 - 5:13 pm: |
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nuabaoz
what helpful advise do u expect us to give??? |
Jolly Tan (joily)
Member
Username: joily
Post Number: 657
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Monday, December 04, 2006 - 3:07 am: |
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I'm 19 and a mother to my precious 4 mth old son. To me, abortion NEVER came into my mind even though i know that financially, i can't afford to hav a child. It was an accident that i became pregnant. Even though i know that it shames my parents alot, i know that its a mistake i should be responsible of.
My 'then-bf-and-now-hubby' did suggested an abortion. But i was strongly against it. The child was afterall OURS. And KILLING 'it' is something that i'll nv ever do.
Now, we are the proud parents of our Darling Irviin. 
He is all i need, my motivations in life and simply our JOY.
I'm a proud mummy. And i wanna show the world, my Darling, Irviin.
Baby, u melts mummy's heart. <33
To ladies who wanna go for an abortion,
Its a life that we are talking abt.
IF u are not ready, don't have sex or alwaes take precautions.
Face ur mistakes instead of solving by killing an innocent life u are SUPPOSE TO PROTECT.
Abortions are supposed to be carried out due to medical reasons. Not to help u 'cover up' ur mistakes.
Hope my post will save many babies! ;) |
anonymous (silent)
New member
Username: silent
Post Number: 16
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Monday, December 04, 2006 - 1:05 pm: |
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ur darling is so adorable!!! Tks for sharing his pic with us |
Vinconia (snow666)
Member
Username: snow666
Post Number: 926
Registered: 8-2006
| | Posted on Monday, December 04, 2006 - 2:46 pm: |
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[quote]Abortions are supposed to be carried out due to medical reasons. Not to help u 'cover up' ur mistakes. [/quote]
Well said |
Jolly Tan (joily)
Member
Username: joily
Post Number: 659
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Monday, December 04, 2006 - 10:11 pm: |
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hehe. anonymous, Thanx! TBF baby! =x was a whooping 3.68kg when he was born. hehe.
Vinconia, thanx too! hehe, juz stating something which i believe in.
i hesitated when i was abt to post my baby's pic. coz im scared that sickos will anyhow anyhow. =.=
But, hopefully my baby's sweet smile will melt the hearts of ladies who wanna go for an abortion. |
Vinconia (snow666)
Member
Username: snow666
Post Number: 934
Registered: 8-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 05, 2006 - 1:39 am: |
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Hi jolly, ur son's a real sweetie
nuabaoz, posting on a public forum means u openly invite different kinds of views and opinions be it something which pleases ur mind or awful things which may make u feel guilty. I dubt people in dilemma posted here just so they can find some consoling comments like "it's ok to abort ur baby, it's no big deal; we dun know u anyway so we dun care." Find it ridiculous to throw blamings on people who post out of a gd-will. |
tamarind (tamarind)
Intermediate Member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 2964
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 05, 2006 - 8:44 am: |
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Jolly,
Thank you so much for posting your story here. Most people who abort their baby believe that their life will be better without the baby. Your story proves that this theory is wrong.
Linda,
There are many forums in Singapore. Someone has posted a forum which supports abortion earlier in this thread.
nuabaoz,
Different opinions are welcome here. But if you want people to respect your opinions, you must first respect other people's opinions. Your rude comments are totally unnecessary. |
Lemon Tee (lemontee)
New member
Username: lemontee
Post Number: 21
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 05, 2006 - 4:37 pm: |
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Accidentally pregnant may shamed your family. But it still your own decision for a little life that all depends on your. The little life needs your love, need your supply of blood to carry nutrients, oxigen..everything from you.. it is part of your life!
I will tell you a story of my friend..
she was pregnant before she get married. Although she already with her bf for a couple of years already, although she initially wanted to have the baby and get married with her bf... but never thought that her bf first reaction of hearing about her pregnancy was to look thru the web for a doctor who handles abortion. My friend got a shock.. She was disspointed and heart-broken. Finally she went thru the process.
Maybe ppl will find that she is stupid, she is cruel, or she is a murderer.. but.. it turned to be a revenge to her bf at the time.. she wanted to let her bf regrets of not marrying her and not keeping her baby...
just after the abortion, my friend wanted to break with her bf with her broken heart..
after a few weeks.. they been together again...
But my friend just felt that she will never love her bf just as before..
About a year later.. my friend pregnant again, but this time, her bf proposed to her and promised to raise the baby together and will love her forever..
After all, they have a baby gal and they loved her very much. I can see that they love each other more than before! This baby brought their love back!
Who can judge that the abortion is right or wrong? Who can be the judge?
I personally feel that, they got to be responsible to what they had done. My friend told me that she regrets with her abortion, but from there, she learned to apreciate life and love her family more! If she got chance to make decision again, she will not go for the abortion due to revenge.. it is very stupid and ignorant! And now the only thing she can do is to love her HB and BB very very much...*sigh*
nothing can be done for the past, just treasure whatever in your life! Abort or not abort, life must be treasure and has it means. And, life still have to move on..
Just to tell a little true story of after abortion.. Especially share with those already aborted.. Think they will understand how my friend feels.. No offence.. ok?
please put a smile on your face, it will make you look better! |
Sweetkiss (sweetkiss)
New member
Username: sweetkiss
Post Number: 20
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, December 07, 2006 - 11:13 pm: |
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Dear all, I don't think i have the right to say anything here since I once had an abortion. If u read my thread, I was forced to abort it by my parents. It happened 9 mths ago. But personally, even till now, the guilt has been with me all along. I cried to slp every night, thinking that my bb would have been born if i had not aborted it... i blame myself for not being strong enough. Looking back, i hoped i had moved out on that day. I envy all my friends of my age who are pregnant. Looking at couples with kids, looking at pregnant women reminds me of my pain. I've sank into depression for months. i believe that things will work out if you stay firm despite anyone's disapproval. DON'T EVER ABORT.. u cannot live with the conscience. trust me.... I regret my choice but it's too late! |
Sweetkiss (sweetkiss)
New member
Username: sweetkiss
Post Number: 21
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, December 07, 2006 - 11:19 pm: |
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And one more thing.. Before my abortion, I called one of the pregnancy hotline when i needed them most. This lady spoke to me n she suggested i meet her at their center so she could speak to me face-to-face. And at that time, i had to go on a trip to M'sia and she told me to call her again when i am back. I did as told and was told she was busy and would get back to me.... She never did... Finally when she called me 1 week later, I was already in the cab after my abortion. I know it isn't her fault and i cant rely on them too much but well.. it just makes me feel a little... i dunno how to describe the feeling. |
tamarind (tamarind)
Intermediate Member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 2978
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Friday, December 08, 2006 - 8:19 am: |
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Lemon Tree,
Comparing your friend's story with Jolly's story, who do you think is a happier person ? I would certainly think that Jolly is happier, because she has no regrets.
Abortion should only be done if the baby has severe birth defects, and would only suffer and die if it is born. Aborting is wrong for any other reasons, there is no questioning about it. Women abort because they
1. Want to take revenge like your friend
2. Afraid of shame
3. Want to enjoy life first
4. Want to build their career first
5. BF don't want to marry them
Think about it, will the woman die for the above reasons ? No right ? How can she make her baby die for the above reasons ? Unless we learn to value human life, then we are nothing but mindless drones.
Sweetkiss,
I remember your story, and to be frank I thought you never should have aborted. I still think so now. But I want to thank you for posting how you feel here, to let other women know the truth is that aborting a baby doesn't make a woman happier in her life. |
Lemon Tee (lemontee)
New member
Username: lemontee
Post Number: 29
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Friday, December 08, 2006 - 10:08 am: |
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haha.. I totally agree with what you said, and I like your last sentence on 'aborting a baby doesn't make a woman happier in her life'
Ya.. it is too late to say anything.. the most important is to save as much babies as we could from here..
Sweetkiss.. I really understood your feelings.. I was with my friend at that time.. so I can feel how heart pain she was.. Yes.. you may regret ever after... but it's no time to you to blame yourself now.. even you know you'd made a big mistake.. just move on and start all over your new journey.. you still young.. just remind yourself do not make any same mistake again..
hope what we said can help as much as babies we could!! |
helper (justsomeone)
New member
Username: justsomeone
Post Number: 1
Registered: 7-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, July 05, 2007 - 9:18 am: |
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Lemon Tee I can feel what you felt now... for a friend that has to go for abortion...
My friend called to tell me she's going for her abortion. She's in a lot of fear but she says keeping the baby is not an option for her, even when her boyfriend had offered to marry her (they do intend to marry in another 2 years time) now and take care of the baby. She knows her dad would probably kill her as he's a traditional, conservative, fierce and violent man. She didn't want to severe all ties with her family just like this...
My heart goes out to her. I know what she's talking about as my parents are very traditional and conservative too. I can imagine if I get pregnant, I'd probably run away from home if I choose not to abort, and return only 1 or 2 years later... but what will happen to my poor parents with a missing daughter??  I can understand what she's going through now. Although I'm also glad that I'm sensible enough to abstain from sex... my parents have drilled the morals deeply into me that pre-marital sex is a sinful thing and only sex with spouse after marriage is right.
I know she will regret it in time to come, just like almost all ladies who went through abortion. But she's also in a lot of fear now as she's going for a appointment. She's probably seeing the doctor right now as I type... I really feel like screaming at her and strangling her for killing her own unborn baby but I want to be friend for her in times like this... seems like no one else is gonna stand by her right now besides her boyfriend. She's all lonely and in fear.
However, no matter how much we want to scold her for being careless, reckless, heartless and whatsoever, pitying the poor baby that can never get born... what's even more important now is how I can help this person who is still alive and living to get her life back on track... Despite all these grave mistakes that can be deemed unforgiveable, I want her to stay strong... I don't want to see any of my friends fall like that.
I know this is absurd as most of you are anti-abortion (like me!!) but anyone know of anywhere that sells food that can help her body recover well after abortion? She dare not buy those chinese medicine back to cook etc cos she can't let her parents know about it, and has been asking me since she has no one else to turn to. But I really have no idea. Is confinement food ok for helping her recover? Any stalls selling readycooked ones?
All comments are welcome! Thanks a lot!! |
Koh Lee Yan (3asmum)
Junior Member
Username: 3asmum
Post Number: 153
Registered: 1-2007
| | Posted on Friday, July 06, 2007 - 12:02 am: |
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helper..
after abortion, probably can ask ur gf to drink DOM. boil red dates water for her..this is to help her on her blood loss..
confinement food of course will help her in some ways, that's why we mums are consuming mah..tingkat service do serve confinement food. |
Ozzie (ozlee)
Junior Member
Username: ozlee
Post Number: 238
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Friday, July 06, 2007 - 3:49 pm: |
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hi helper
sometimes, as friends, we can only try to understand the situation, suggest the best way out and ultimately support their decision.
i suppose the doctor will be prescribing some medicine for her to recover after the operation. If you think TCM can help, consider going to a TCM physician that specialise in women and get the medicine. If it is convenient, you can brew the medicine for her at your place or somewhere convenient, like a mutual friend's place. There is also special pots that automatically cut off power when the brew is ready... so you do not even need to check on the pot.
maybe consider taking a short holiday to get away from it all and at the same time recuperate? |
smallsweetz (smallsweetz)
Junior Member
Username: smallsweetz
Post Number: 454
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, September 29, 2007 - 12:47 am: |
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A frd had forward to me some websites that are related to abortion and i tot of sharing with mummies here..
Personally, i feel that whatever decision was made to abort or not, pls think twice. My heart breaks after looking at those pics and video..
Need to register as a U tube member before u can view the video.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vl8H3Ut0gVo
http://www.amightywind.com/abortion/pleaseno.htm
Note that im not advocating the religious stuffs mentioned in the above website (In a free thinker BTW). Just sharing the pics..Hopefully, mummies will think twice before deciding on abortion.. |
saki (hamasaki)
Intermediate Member
Username: hamasaki
Post Number: 3797
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, November 04, 2007 - 12:18 am: |
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feel so sad seeing those tiny little bodies being torn apart.. they are so innocent and yet they have to pay for the mistakes committed by their parents. |
saki (hamasaki)
Intermediate Member
Username: hamasaki
Post Number: 3798
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, November 04, 2007 - 12:18 am: |
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pls dun abort, give these little babies a chance to live.. do think twice.. |
Sorry (sorry)
New member
Username: sorry
Post Number: 4
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, November 22, 2007 - 12:34 am: |
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I have gone thru an abortion before cos at the moment didnt really have time to seriously think of the consequence after the abortion. From then onwards, the guilt and the torment has been in me till now. No one can ever imagine it till you really experience it. I'm pregnant again few months later and he agreed that he will be responsible and we will keep the baby and work things out. But he abandoned us a month later. That was the most difficult time in my life. Lost my job and this pregnancy really gives me such a hard time. Nausea throughout the whole day. But no matter how though it will be, I will keep the baby. Be it to make up for the previous abortion or watever. Every live has value, be it not in his eyes but this time I want to make it right for myself. There will always be a way out. One step at a time. Just have to be strong. For whoever out there, if you are pregnant now and thinking of terminating the pregnancy. Please, please think twice and talk to someone or get help. Don't ever let it be the greatest regret in your life and no way you could ever make it up. |
pisces (emma_mom)
New member
Username: emma_mom
Post Number: 38
Registered: 4-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 12:15 pm: |
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I can't believe got such person around. This lady is not a minor, is already married. She recently had unprotected sex on her wedding night. She suspect she might be pregnant (haven't tested yet) and immediately she already decided she wanna go for abortion.
And she's not planning to tell her hubby in the event she is really pregnant. She's planning to just go for the abortion alone. So 'pek check' when I read her thread!
http://www.singaporebrides.com/forumboard/messages/5/571802.html?1196219732 |
saki (hamasaki)
Intermediate Member
Username: hamasaki
Post Number: 4020
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 12:59 pm: |
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pisces, i juz read that thread. i was so pissed off as well.. |
Patsy (patsy_sg)
Intermediate Member
Username: patsy_sg
Post Number: 2323
Registered: 6-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 3:53 pm: |
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it breaks my heart to read that... here we are willing to give up anything to have a child, just one and she is just nonchalantly getting rid of it... so sad. |
mulberry (bab1es)
Member
Username: bab1es
Post Number: 1020
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 4:43 pm: |
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I have also read that thread. in fact had also posted there. I was fuming mad when i read it. Thus, i 'suan' her - I asked her not to have sex until she's ready to be a mother.
But seriously, with her attitude, i don't know what else to tell her. She's married already, yet she can without hesitation, immediately decide on abortion.
She sounds really immature. Don't think she is actually even ready for marriage. |
saki (hamasaki)
Intermediate Member
Username: hamasaki
Post Number: 4028
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 7:46 pm: |
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mulberry, i too have posted there as well. she's darm inresponsible and inmature. cant stand her attitude.. |
mulberry (bab1es)
Member
Username: bab1es
Post Number: 1021
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 9:37 pm: |
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saki,
at the end of the day, it's her decision and she will have to live with it for the rest of her life.
we all can advise her, scold her, etc...no use as she don't want to listen.
I pray that she is not pregnant...else an innocent life will be lost. |
saki (hamasaki)
Intermediate Member
Username: hamasaki
Post Number: 4030
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 10:45 pm: |
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very funny for her to start getting info before she's been tested for pregnancy.
i pity the poor baby if she's confirmed preggie and go thru that abortion. |
lynn (pprincessbaobei)
Junior Member
Username: pprincessbaobei
Post Number: 193
Registered: 8-2007
| | Posted on Saturday, December 29, 2007 - 8:45 am: |
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there are 2 types of person.
1. they dun care abt anibodi else but onli herself.
2. dey are forced into sutiation and haf no other way out.
for that married woman, i guess she belong to the 1st time. but if one dae she bcome sensible, more feelins, i guess she wills till regret.
for me, i aborted my baby w/o even confirmin whether my baby is realli down sydrome as there's already sign that my baby might be down syndrome BB though im onli 19.
im veri negative person, so thinkin why i so suay, 19 alreadi like that, if do those testes, that have lil risk of miscarriage if realli suay miscarriage how? so i aborted the baby jus like that on my 14 weeks.
i guess i regretted it. but if the baby is realli down syndrome, will also abort. no point bringing this child to make both of us suffer also. moreover my then-bf kept insisted i abort the baby.
alot of ppl don't know what they are getting when dey decide to go for abortion. it will haunt dem for life. it's onli been going to 3 months since my abortion. but it's still hauntin me sometimes and getting in and out of depression.
nw all i wish is, to make up for everithin. sigh, but i guess it wun happen |
Pria (pria)
New member
Username: pria
Post Number: 14
Registered: 9-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, February 07, 2009 - 4:36 pm: |
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Hi,
I did read some of the above. Really have no choice with my suitation, I may need to abort.
Hi, any experience mothers, doctors, nursers, anyone can help me....?
i am 38 yrs old and very obesy. My pregnancy would not very easy.
My First girl is at 29 weeks premature baby and during pregnancy i can even walk purposely and with all the stress I have at work, family and friends.
My 2nd boy, I when in and out of hopital for 3 times and manage to hold him till he reached his 35 weeks. Sex during pregnancy and causes heavy bleeding and low pracental. walking with difficulty too.
Now, I am pregnant with my third one and is one months. Should I abort???Should I take My health in first consideration before concein.???many more....help needed!!! |
chloegal (chloegal)
Member
Username: chloegal
Post Number: 590
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, February 08, 2009 - 10:17 am: |
|
Pria
Maybe you shall see your gynae and see what is his advise. Think your gynae is the best person to help you. Every pregnancy is different. |
Loyfam (loyfam)
New member
Username: loyfam
Post Number: 23
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, February 19, 2009 - 1:02 pm: |
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Just happen to chance upon this website. I am not pregnant yet (hopefully not) but sort of worried as my mense sb here by today or this few days....it's usually early. It just made me wonder if there are any food that we can take to expedite the menses arrival.
We already have 3 kids. The eldest is 8 and youngest 4. My 3rd child was unplanned. It happened even when we took precaution.
I've serious pre-eclampsia. My 3rd pregnancy ended at 35weeks, 1.85kg bb but I had to have platelet transfusions after delivery. My vision also went blur for 1 mth after the delivery. It was scary as I don't know when I will recover. It was all caused by uncontrollable blood pressure. The gynae said it's worst with each pregnancy. I was originally asked to stop at 2. So the 3rd was a bonus despite all that I've to go through as she is a very bright and adorable little girl.
I am just worried about unplanned pregnancy, as I feel that my body doesn't allow me to get pregnant. My health indicator is not good esp after the 3 pregnancy and each pregnancy including my 2nd was eventful as my son is also born at 35 weeks but birth weight of 2.5kg.
I am just praying that my menses is here fast.... |
Pria (pria)
New member
Username: pria
Post Number: 19
Registered: 9-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 6:26 pm: |
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Loyfam,
Have you or your husband ever think of future, how to rise your kids ? any fianacial berthan?
Mine worried so much. |
unsure (unsure2009)
New member
Username: unsure2009
Post Number: 2
Registered: 2-2009
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 6:27 pm: |
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i know abortion is not right, give birth not only just born the baby also need to rise up the baby. i alredy made the mistake have the pregnancy, really dont want continue the mistake.
i am very conflict now. should keep the baby or abort the baby?
i still have 2weeks time to think about this, i have preg for about 6weeks now.....
anyone can give an advice, if i want to do the abortion, what private clinic is better? thanks |
Pria (pria)
New member
Username: pria
Post Number: 20
Registered: 9-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 6:38 pm: |
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Hi unsure,
I have a condition too. Due to my age and high in Down syndrown baby and my health, my husband wants me to abort, but is a life we created. I will wait till my 14 weeks check up first to decide abort or not.
It a life and i dont want it happen. Alway in a sad feeling when my husband question it.
I do visit KKH. |
Loyfam (loyfam)
New member
Username: loyfam
Post Number: 31
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 9:06 am: |
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Hi Pria,
Fortunately my menses is here. In our case, we are both working so financially we are stable. It was really more that I am advised against having more babies due to my blood pressure issue. It gets worst with each pregnancy. Also, my internal organs are not left unscathed by the previous pregnancy. I didn't have bp previously but this has now become a life time condition.
But I know clearly that I cannot bring myself to go through an abortion if a pregnancy does happen. Probably we will just have to seek help from cardiologist,etc... to make the pregnancy last with least risk to the baby and me.
I just want to share that my 3rd child was unplanned and an accident. It took me awhile to accept the fact that I am pregnant. I went through alot delivering her that when I think of it now, it's scary. (eg. weekly blood test for at least 6 weeks,etc...). But she is 3+ this year and she is the brightest of all my kids. She is the prettiest, shows that she has EQ even at this age and also she is very intelligent(in our personal opinion). We believe that with the right support, she will be very successful in the future. I come to a conclusion that it's god's will sometimes to give us a baby.
I know it's easier said than done. But i would like to wish you all the best no matter what decision you choose. |
Fiona Chiang (song_buttons)
New member
Username: song_buttons
Post Number: 1
Registered: 3-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 10:50 am: |
|
Hi there,
after reading the posts being posted on this thread, i seek only advice on what i should do. When situation and decisions are being made out there we all have our reasons wheather or not it is right nor wrong I hope everyone know we're not the one that pass judgement.
I have a situation in hand and I would like to know how to revitalise after going thru an abortion. I seek only advices and not judgement and I wish that you ladies would offer me a helping hand since the situation has reach that stage.
Probably I'll like to start by understand how to take care of myself after going thru an abortion and what my partner can do to play his part.
Thank you and I wish you could stretch out that helping hand to me as you guys did in the past. |
Koh Lee Yan (3asmum)
Member
Username: 3asmum
Post Number: 579
Registered: 1-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 11:20 am: |
|
hi fiona,
after abortion, first 2 days if have time better rest well. dont carry heavy things or stress out..u can cook some confinement food but make it simpler. drink hong zao water to strengthen u..
the complication also depends on age, i didnt go through this posting so dont know how old u are, but frankly..the older the more we need to rest well.
if there is any bleeding after abortion,some may have tummy cramp etc..take note and also monitor, any severe or if u feel worry, ring ur gynae asap for advise.
eat good food, meaning proper diet not expensive food to strengthen ur health.
take care and rest well! |
Koh Lee Yan (3asmum)
Member
Username: 3asmum
Post Number: 580
Registered: 1-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 11:35 am: |
|
Pria,
why do u feel high chance will have down sydrome bb? there is one test able to provide abt 80%+ accuracy to determine your bb is DS or not, do u plan to go for the test (but must be tested only on the 4th month i think.
i cant remember the name of the test but i did before caused my husband's sister is down sydrome child and i want to make sure mine is ok.
that test cost $100- 200+ and this test only has abt less then 1% miscarriage..is a tube insert to our tummy to draw the 'water'...
i told my husband we have to prepare for worst, if positive then i will choose to abort caused we already have one DS child/adult need to take care for life.
well, result is negative..both my pregnancy i went for this test.
if u intend to have this bb, just go for the test. meanwhile, take good care in diet and health, stay happy.... |
Fiona Chiang (song_buttons)
New member
Username: song_buttons
Post Number: 2
Registered: 3-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 1:07 pm: |
|
Hi lee Yan,
Thanks for answering to my enquires just wondering is there any food or drinks besides physical activity I should avoid?
Is tummy cramp and bleeding normal? Could ya be more specific on any vitamins i should take or is there any herbs I can take to restore my blood lost?
Thanks for helping me out |
Koh Lee Yan (3asmum)
Member
Username: 3asmum
Post Number: 581
Registered: 1-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 6:24 pm: |
|
hi fiona,
tummy cramp and bleed maybe mild is normal but shld be the same day or next...u can check with ur gynae.
as for food, u can take vege like spinach, hong zhao water (just put some hong zhao and water in slow cooker to boil and u can drink like plain water).
if u have DOM this shld helps, bit a day will do.. |
jaryfe (jaryfe)
New member
Username: jaryfe
Post Number: 11
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Friday, August 14, 2009 - 5:04 pm: |
|
hi mummies out there..
i'm in a dilemma now.. to keep or to abort..
this is my 2nd kid.. financially i dunno if we can manage as my hubby's job is not stable at all.. he has just got into a job a couple months back . as for mine, i do not know also.. as there is some retrenchment going on..
during my 1st kid, my hubby earns very little.. that he only has $ for himself.. so a long time, I have been the only person supporting all the expenses.. and then things got worse when he lost his job and i have to support his expense as well..
we dun have car and i take public tpt to bring my kid to/fro my mum place .. it's very very tiring.. cos it's not a short journey..
after work i have to do the housework etc.. i feel very lonely cos my hubby works afternoon shift so he ends pretty late at night.. so all the household chores i handle myself.. emotionally i feel no support from him.. but it could be because he is just too stressed at work.. we hardly talk, we hardly see each other..
if i were to keep this child.. i dunno how to handle it alone.. i'm so tired.. emotionally, mentally and physically.. |
cactus_79 (cactus_79)
Advanced Member
Username: cactus_79
Post Number: 7053
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Friday, August 14, 2009 - 5:28 pm: |
|
just wondering, would you be able to ask your mom to look afer your #1 at your home? can save you a long journey.. |
jaryfe (jaryfe)
New member
Username: jaryfe
Post Number: 12
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Friday, August 14, 2009 - 5:39 pm: |
|
hi.. not possible for my mum cos she needs to help my other siblings to bring their kids to/fro the CC near her place as well.. so asking her to stay @ my place is not an option.. |
Ayukie (ayukie)
Member
Username: ayukie
Post Number: 1642
Registered: 3-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, August 15, 2009 - 12:51 am: |
|
jarye - maybe leave ur child with your mum's place during wkdays and bring home your child over wkend? maybe you wanna discuss with ur family throughly before making a decision?
A child is a gift after all ... |
jaryfe (jaryfe)
New member
Username: jaryfe
Post Number: 13
Registered: 1-2009
| | Posted on Saturday, August 15, 2009 - 10:42 am: |
|
ayu.. my mum's getting on age.. i worry she won't have enough sleep if she takes care of my 1st during the night.. and my kid is hyperactive.. so it's very draining..
i also dunno wat to do.. cos i really feel no support from my hubby.. when he goes to work during the weekends, he can't even be bothered to say bye to me.. all he cares abt is our 1st kid.. he will smile, play with him before he goes work but once he sees me he will become stone..
emotionally i feel very "ditched" . I feel I am worse than a maid in the house. taking care of the housework , baby, and also to bring in $ to raise the kid.
when i told him abt how i feel, he just say he is just stressed and tired... yet he can spend few hours after work, relaxing, watching videos, play games.. but me? i come home still have to do housework and take care of baby.. so MEN want free time but how abt us women?
ask him to do housework, he say ok but never did.. say too tired.. will do it next week..
now i can still take it to do the things myself.. when he started his new work, everything starts to change slightly better.. at least our arguments and fights has reduced..
but now i am preggy with 2nd, i can feel my frustration building up.. i flare up more often when i see hubby not helping out.. both of us are stressed out whether to keep or not to keep. morally we knew it's wrong to abort but if in terms of the real situation we are now in, it's really a disaster.
sometimes i wonder will it be better to raise 1 kid in a much happier family or having 2 kids in a disaster family? |
Ayukie (ayukie)
Member
Username: ayukie
Post Number: 1645
Registered: 3-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, August 16, 2009 - 9:59 pm: |
|
jaryfe - hmz that sounds v tricky/complicated esp with the lack of support from ur hubby .. but regardless you may wanna really discuss all options with your parents , ur parents in law together with ur hubby before making the decison bah .. but dun rush into decison for this ..
my temper have been quite bad since i gt preggy as well haiz .. i can understand some of ur fustrations ... |
cactus_79 (cactus_79)
Advanced Member
Username: cactus_79
Post Number: 7055
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Monday, August 17, 2009 - 10:38 am: |
|
hi Jaryfe, sounds like the main issue bugging you is your husband's attitude. I feel that if finances permit, you may want to consider other options, like childcare for your #1, leaving your #2 with your mom? Rope in your PILs? I agree with Ayukie, should discuss with both sets of parents. abortion is no small matter. |
Tan Leng Leng (tanlengleng)
Senior Member
Username: tanlengleng
Post Number: 18221
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 18, 2009 - 4:18 am: |
|
Hi all,
please do not play with 2 lifes,
there's cases of ladies dying after abortion too... |
Hung (hung)
Member
Username: hung
Post Number: 729
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 11:55 pm: |
|
Elective Abortion is also killing a PART of you. |
stefie2104 (stefie2104)
Junior Member
Username: stefie2104
Post Number: 481
Registered: 7-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 21, 2009 - 10:19 am: |
|
Hi,
I just had abortion done in early Oct, cos my baby has no skull during my detailed scan at 11 week. I really have no choice but to terminate my pregnancy. This is consider my 2nd Miscarriage, 1st was 2 years ago when baby has no heartbeat at 12 week. I feel more heartpain this round cos the baby is still alive and I have to do the procedure to a living baby.
Do consider to keep the baby if they are healthy. Don't abort the baby cos of Financial problems, nobody can help to take care, unprotected sex. Please use protection when ever possible. People like me have no choice. Want baby so much, it seems like so difficult. |
Sweetkiss (sweetkiss)
New member
Username: sweetkiss
Post Number: 36
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Friday, November 20, 2009 - 3:14 pm: |
|
Hello ladies.. It's me again.
Today i am back to this forum not to look for advice on abortion but to look for info as a mummy!
Even though this baby is also unplanned, even though I am easily tired and have morning sickness, I am happy to be a mum again.
I am still with the same man who is now my husband of 2 years and I am glad he has been there for me all the time.
I still miss the baby I once lost but I pray that it will go to heaven and forgive me.
I hope everyone will give their baby a chance to live. It is really amazing to become a mum! |
mschan (mschan)
New member
Username: mschan
Post Number: 48
Registered: 11-2009
| | Posted on Monday, November 30, 2009 - 2:49 pm: |
|
Hi,
I believe that abortion is killing an unborn child. I hope you will give your child a chance to live despite of your financial difficulties. Seeing your child live is one of the pleasures you can experience as a mother. |
mschan (mschan)
New member
Username: mschan
Post Number: 49
Registered: 11-2009
| | Posted on Monday, November 30, 2009 - 2:59 pm: |
|
Hi,
I believe that abortion is killing an unborn child. I hope you will give your child a chance to live despite of your financial difficulties. Seeing your child live is one of the pleasures you can experience as a mother. |
Grace (animator)
New member
Username: animator
Post Number: 12
Registered: 4-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 09, 2009 - 1:23 pm: |
|
My tears almost drop when seeing the pictures in the amightywind.com (the link provided by smallsweetz) |
smallsweetz (smallsweetz)
Member
Username: smallsweetz
Post Number: 737
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 27, 2010 - 4:34 pm: |
|
Hi Grace,
Yes, the tiny babies are so helpless in the pictures..do watch the video on Youtube too. It is even more heart breaking..
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vl8H3Ut0gVo
Hope any mommies who are going for the procedure can twice before doing so.. |
Linda Ho (linda0o)
Junior Member
Username: linda0o
Post Number: 485
Registered: 8-2008
| | Posted on Friday, February 12, 2010 - 1:50 pm: |
|
abortion does not "un-pregnant" you. It just make you a mother of a DEAD baby |
Joanne (shiny_star)
New member
Username: shiny_star
Post Number: 53
Registered: 6-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - 10:15 pm: |
|
Hi ladies,
I saw the post and decide to express my view too. I was pregnant before marriage and was very lost when I found out about it. I did thought of abortion but postpone the appointment again and again. I was not ready at that time, after which I decide to consult my mum and told her the truth. She accepted the fact and asked me to give birth, assuring me that she will help me take care of this child. Throughout the pregnancy, my ex bf ignore me and did not bother about me. He even encouraged me to go for the abortion. Well, life still continues and I know this decision will affect my future. But nevertherless, I go ahead with the pregnancy and give birth to my son. He is now coming 4 years old this year and i am only 26 this year. Life had being very tough from the beginning, i suffered from post natal depression, did committ suicide few times cause i was still not ready to accept the fact that i had become a mother. The responsibility of a child is on my hand. I had to work very hard and not like before. Now life is better and i never regretted having my son. He really bring me a lot of joy more than suffering. Today i was helping my mum with household and he came to me with a tissue to wipe my sweat. When he is sick, he just quietly rest on his own and never give me problems. I know life will be difficult for me as single mother but as long as you preserve, everything is possible and can be done! |
Tan Leng Leng (tanlengleng)
Senior Member
Username: tanlengleng
Post Number: 22374
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, February 25, 2010 - 11:44 am: |
|
Joanne (shiny_star),
*salute* x 3 |
first_born (first_born)
Intermediate Member
Username: first_born
Post Number: 2416
Registered: 10-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 03, 2011 - 4:09 pm: |
|
This thread has been quite for a long while. I hope it's a good sign.
Would still like to add some encouragements here in case anyone needs some:
1. Abortion should nvr be an option, unless for medical reasons.
No matter how poor you are, or how unprepared you are, young, single mother.... Pls carry the baby to full term. Give him/her a chance to live. Give birth to the baby and then decide whether to keep the baby or bless another couple who have been praying for one.
I believe that despite the financial strain that many of us are experiencing in spore now, there is no way we or our children will go hungry, as long as we are willing to work.
my mother was almost a single mother as my father is an irresponsible man. She singlehandedly, working in 3 different jobs within a week, 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, just so she could put clothes on our bodies, food in our stomach and a roof over our head.
Don't even entertain the thought of an abortion.
2. For medical reasons.
Unless it's totally necessary, otherwise, pls let the pregnancy run it's course. If you fear the child might be down syndrome, or hv congenital conditions, see it as a test from God. "Flawed" as the child may be, it's still a life. |
happy_ocean (pearlyshell)
Junior Member
Username: pearlyshell
Post Number: 315
Registered: 8-2010
| | Posted on Saturday, September 10, 2011 - 10:56 pm: |
|
Anyone aborted baby due to gender? my fren is disappointed with her baby's gender. She has a girl and is expecting another girl. She got depressed and wanted to abort the baby...I dunno how to console her...anyone here have the same experience? |
kaygrace (kaygrace)
New member
Username: kaygrace
Post Number: 3
Registered: 7-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2011 - 3:35 pm: |
|
Sorry if I sound offensive. But u shd tell ur friend this, since she is a woman herself, what if her mother had aborted her just because she is a daughter? We are living in modern times. Aborting your child due to gender is to me the worst reason one can ever give. |
kaygrace (kaygrace)
New member
Username: kaygrace
Post Number: 4
Registered: 7-2009
| | Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2011 - 3:36 pm: |
|
And what if she is only fated to have daughters and not sons? So is she going to abort her 3rd,4th,5th until she gets a boy? That's ridiculous. |
Tan Leng Leng (tanlengleng)
Senior Member
Username: tanlengleng
Post Number: 27337
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2011 - 5:29 pm: |
|
Be Blessed to have a healthy child,
never-mind the gender.
Many years later, when the girl marries a boy,
she will have a son-in-law.
Leng Leng |
mehui (mehui)
New member
Username: mehui
Post Number: 25
Registered: 8-2011
| | Posted on Saturday, October 29, 2011 - 5:19 pm: |
|
Happy Ocean,
Really you should tell your friend to respect female-hood. Girls will also carry the genes of the paternal family and if she maries and have kids in future, the grandchild will also carry the genes. There's nothing wrong with having daughters because we all came from our mother's womb. Hope your friend is feeling better and able to rationalise? |
Desiree linda (desireelinda)
New member
Username: desireelinda
Post Number: 2
Registered: 8-2012
| | Posted on Thursday, August 23, 2012 - 8:40 pm: |
|
Sorry to post here while u guys have discussion. I need a little help. Do get to me for adoption of baby. As I'm trying to adopt one with reasonable amount which dont exceed 9,000.
Due to not able to give birth anymore(knew the news last month due to 2 times miscarriage in a year), i decided to go for adoption. The news really hurts me lOts coz I'm just 24 and have not even a kid yet. And the news do hurt my mum a lot too . She went a little bit far more than depressed and always thinking that baby is still in me whenever she thinks of it. Consult doctor but was saying medication can't cure only control as she needs to work out herself. So despite I'm very sad and depressed I got to think of not only me but her too.and at this point of time, Husband left me too. So my dad and I came out with a solution, since I can't give birth, why not adopt those who are keen to put for adoption so that my mum can be better and I can have a better motivation of living my life better. kindly do help out for this. it will be good for going to give birth de or newborn as they still can't recognise if not its like so cruel for those who alrd know their parents. Kindly give a helping hand. Apps 83006803 thank |
Motherhood, Pregnancies And Babies 
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