| Author |
Message |
    
addiction (addiction)
New member
Username: addiction
Post Number: 9
Registered: 9-2007
| | Posted on Saturday, October 20, 2007 - 4:37 pm: | 
|
Hi,
I'm wondering whether anyone here has two kids with age difference of 18 months or less? How do you cope?
My kids are 19 months apart and I'm feeling stressed. |
Fairyprincess (fairyprincess)
Junior Member
Username: fairyprincess
Post Number: 480
Registered: 9-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, October 21, 2007 - 1:08 am: |
|
Hi Addiction,
My kids are 21 months apart...now they are about 2+YO and 4+YO...yes, it may be very "siong" at the start, cos they are close in age, but as they grow, its really good as they are close to each other and grow up/ play together....no regrets....
How old are your kids now? |
tabbiesus (tabbiesus)
Member
Username: tabbiesus
Post Number: 1489
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, October 21, 2007 - 2:17 am: |
|
addiction
my kids are 18 months apart... u r not alone.. its quite tough! i got a helper and i'm working part time for now...
Later i'll be sending my no. 1 to half day CC so can have more time with no. 2 |
sheris (sheris)
Member
Username: sheris
Post Number: 1305
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, October 21, 2007 - 4:09 am: |
|
hi ladies
my kids are all 18 months apart n i hv 4 of them to handle the oldest being in k1, n2, 2 yr + n youngest 8 months .... true tt is it tedious at the younger age but coz of the age gap the kids are closer n the thg tt we nid to provide for them are similaer... eg diapers.... n the older can teach the younger n both saw similar programs n enjoy similar thgs......
me was lucky coz my mum help me tale acre of the younger two while the older two are at cc till i finish wk n fetch them home..... me ftwm.... think once they reach k1 it is much easier...... but hse wk will hv to take a lesser priority... hse usually in a mess... esp the kids rm |
addiction (addiction)
New member
Username: addiction
Post Number: 10
Registered: 9-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, October 21, 2007 - 11:15 pm: |
|
my kids are 26 mths and 7.5 mths now. I don't have a maid. the elder one is in cc while mil takes care of the younger one. i don't have a maid. i bring both home everyday. weekends are the worst cos i have to take care myself. of course hubby helps a lot in housework and taking care of the kids but i still find it stressful.
last time w/o kids can still go shopping after work. now have to rush to fetch kids. miss the freedom. |
veggie (veggie)
Junior Member
Username: veggie
Post Number: 179
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 23, 2007 - 5:30 pm: |
|
Hi mummies,
My 2 boys are 15 mths apart. 19 mths and 4mths. I have got a maid and my mil to look after them when i work. Ya, i agree that its really siong... Tiring and stressful. But dun worry, i think its just a stage to pass thru. When they are older, hopefully things will be better. That's wat my mil aalways tell me. |
bin (bin)
Member
Username: bin
Post Number: 829
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 - 9:09 am: |
|
Hi addiction,
Think of it this way...once they grow up and is no longer dependent on you, you will have all the freedom to go shopping and travelling. Actually might be another depressing phase for us 
Hee...you mentioned you don't have a maid 2x. No worries, think we can all survive without one 
My no.2 will arrive next month, and I have a 17 MO in tow. Sometimes I take a half-day off work to go shopping or do a quick retail therapy during lunch :P |
addiction (addiction)
New member
Username: addiction
Post Number: 12
Registered: 9-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 - 1:36 pm: |
|
hi mummies,
good to know that i'm not the only one "suffering". :P
i guess i have to learn to relax. like what veggie said, things will get better. |
veggie (veggie)
Junior Member
Username: veggie
Post Number: 180
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 - 3:03 pm: |
|
Yeah addiction,
Relax and take things one step at a time. In the mid of our busy schedule, enjoy their innocence. |
harriet (harriet)
New member
Username: harriet
Post Number: 99
Registered: 5-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 - 6:50 pm: |
|
hi addiction,
just to add, same here, 18mths different, when no2 came along, they both fought over the breast for milk, then they fight over the toys to play, now they fight over the place to sit and whose book mommy should read first. Some days I feel like walking out of the house and leave them with DH...
next yr no2 going to N1 and no1 going to K1, interestingly, no1 says she'll bring mei mei to school and mommy can stay at home to rest! haa haa, I think they will grow up one day.
just be patient :P
harriet |
tamarind (tamarind)
Intermediate Member
Username: tamarind
Post Number: 4693
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 - 7:47 pm: |
|
My kids are only 17 months apart. I actually planned the pregnancy so that I can have kids with a close age gap.
The most important thing is to get as much help as you can. Do not try to do everything yourself. I got my mother and my maid to help, while I work full time. It is quite manageable. Time passes very fast, when my boy is more than 2 years old, things are very easy.
My kids are now 4 years old and 3 years old, they can play with each other, talk and discuss with each other, I feel so happy. Everyone in my family is saying it's so nice to have 2 kids so close in age. |
rubber_ducky (rubber_ducky)
Junior Member
Username: rubber_ducky
Post Number: 108
Registered: 8-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 07, 2007 - 12:58 am: |
|
i've a 10 month old kid now. I suspect I may be pregnant with No 2. If so, their age diff may be 18 months too.
I'm now a SAHM, planning to work when baby turns 1, but realises now i may be pregnant again. I'm worried cos I don't quite trust either in-laws or maid, and my mum is too tired to look after my active 10 monbth old who's starting to want to walk!
I may get a helper to help out m mum if i do work after delivering 2nd child.
My nausea just can't go off for 3 days and i'm constantly cold and tired just like my 1st pregnancy. My menses haven't arrived for 2 months. I'm definitely going to the gynae this Friday! |
Fazz J (sheila2005)
New member
Username: sheila2005
Post Number: 3
Registered: 11-2007
| | Posted on Friday, November 16, 2007 - 6:27 pm: |
|
Hi Addiction
Don't worry as things will definitely gets better as time passes by. Take it from me. I am a mother with kids 20mths apart (my 2nd & 3rd). It was quite tough initially but as times goes by, your kids will be best buddies as they can share a lot of toys, interests, information, friends or even to gang up on you for something.
My kids are in P1 and K2 now. Occassionally, they will still fight over something.. but hey... its part of siblings life, right? So don't worry too much... |
Jenny (snowpooher)
Advanced Member
Username: snowpooher
Post Number: 7534
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Friday, November 16, 2007 - 10:51 pm: |
|
Hi,
Mine are 19.5mths apart. Stressed for the 1st 6 mths but now I find it ok. Both quite closed, though occasionally got fights over toys/stuff. I enjoy watching their scenes, sometimes quite comical haha... |
Vinn (vinn)
Junior Member
Username: vinn
Post Number: 151
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, February 28, 2008 - 8:14 am: |
|
Hi,
Mine are 14 mths apart. Elder one nw in childcare, 2nd one taken care by my aunt.
Difficult part is when I brought both of them back hm in the evening. Elder is vy sticky to me that I can't even carry the 2nd one.
Another problem is the cash flow. Childcare & hv to pay my aunt oso. |
Jen (eliciatan)
Intermediate Member
Username: eliciatan
Post Number: 2054
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Friday, March 07, 2008 - 3:26 pm: |
|
Wow so many courageous mommies here.
I also gg to face my 2nd bb coming out soon & my 1st one is oni turning 15 mths this mth. I will be delivering somewhere betwn late apr to early may. Sooooo scare i cant cope leh. I wish to BF also. but then i will be puttng my 2nd one at my mom hse oni will bring back on wkend.
I hope i can be as brave as you all mommies here. |
Marble (marble)
Member
Username: marble
Post Number: 542
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 07, 2008 - 3:58 pm: |
|
hmm...my no 1 (and only) is 8 mths. i'm planning no.2...m i being sadistic to myself??!! |
harriet (harriet)
Junior Member
Username: harriet
Post Number: 152
Registered: 5-2007
| | Posted on Friday, March 07, 2008 - 5:04 pm: |
|
hi marble,
no la, in fact from the above posts I guess you can sense the excitment of having two toddlers running around in the house
hi mommies with twos,
just wondering, any plans for the third one? cos am thinking of having a third one, but wonder if it's asking for too much
harriet |
poohy (poohy)
Advanced Member
Username: poohy
Post Number: 7087
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 07, 2008 - 6:19 pm: |
|
harriet,
my no1 and no2 are 14 months apart. They are now in N1 and playgroup halfday separately. And I am expecting no.3 october this year. No maid too... my mum took care of them after school.
I looked forward to seeing the 3 kiddos playing together...
Anyway I am expecting many in my family to nag at me... why so stupid go and have no.3 when I already have 1 boy 1 girl. |
manta (manta)
New member
Username: manta
Post Number: 2
Registered: 2-2008
| | Posted on Friday, March 14, 2008 - 1:48 pm: |
|
poohy,
Good on U !
As long as you enjoy having them and can afford it, why not ? Some people just can't stand kids, then there is nothing to talk about already.
The fruits of your labour will come to light when all of them are grown ups, u will be thankful for having them. |
harriet (harriet)
Junior Member
Username: harriet
Post Number: 154
Registered: 5-2007
| | Posted on Friday, March 14, 2008 - 2:08 pm: |
|
hi poohy,
great for you as for me, I can already see the worried look in my mom's face when i hinted that I was interested to try for no 3 but anyway, will see how in June when i have to decide whether to take out or replace my inplanor :P |
jollysheep (jollysheep)
Junior Member
Username: jollysheep
Post Number: 326
Registered: 8-2006
| | Posted on Monday, March 31, 2008 - 2:28 am: |
|
Hi mommies,
I just found out that I'm pregnant with #2. I have a 11mths old gal. I'm a SAHM. Can we carry our elder toddler during pregnancy? |
bin (bin)
Member
Username: bin
Post Number: 911
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 31, 2008 - 8:52 am: |
|
Hi jollysheep,
Good to avoid carrying your gal and heavy stuffs if possible, esp during your 1st trimester. But guess you won't have much choice, cos you elder will somehow be extra clingy when she knows you are preggy |
jollysheep (jollysheep)
Junior Member
Username: jollysheep
Post Number: 328
Registered: 8-2006
| | Posted on Monday, March 31, 2008 - 7:05 pm: |
|
Hi bin,
Thank you for advice.
How you all handle a toddler during your pregnancy. I don't have a helper. Wondering how to cope with it? |
pig07 (pig07)
Member
Username: pig07
Post Number: 551
Registered: 3-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 02, 2008 - 2:26 pm: |
|
Hi Mummies,
My first child is 4.5month old. and i think i am preg again. If i am, would be 5 week pregnant.
Personally, i dont tink i am mentally and physically ready and prepared for it. Its unintended pregnancy.
I am a SAHM with help of parents and maids. but somehow, a part of me is telling me that its too soon to have a second one when the 1st one is barely 1 year old.
I am also worried about not being able to spend enuf time for the first one when i deliver or doing my confinement. |
Bitrix (bitrix)
Junior Member
Username: bitrix
Post Number: 117
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 09, 2008 - 10:41 am: |
|
Hey, would like to check with the mummies here. How do you manage to put both kids sleeping together? Aren't them being disturb by each other especially the younger one need nite feed? Appreciate you could share your advise. Tks! |
Fairyprincess (fairyprincess)
Member
Username: fairyprincess
Post Number: 590
Registered: 9-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 09, 2008 - 1:19 pm: |
|
I put my older one to sleep with my mum, while I sleep in another room with my husband and younger one...it is certainly easier to handle one at night...but I know of others who put both in the same room... |
bin (bin)
Member
Username: bin
Post Number: 913
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 09, 2008 - 2:00 pm: |
|
Hi bitrix,
My 22MO and 4MO are sharing the same room. The older is sleeping in his toddler bed and baby in his cot. They do wake each other and me and hubby will each attend to one. As for night feed, I will carry the baby to my room or feed him in the living room. I use a baby monitor to listen out for them in the night. They have been sleeping together for more than a month now and situations are improving, when one is wailing, the other is able to continue to zzz |
luz (luz)
Junior Member
Username: luz
Post Number: 263
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, May 01, 2008 - 10:04 pm: |
|
hi experienced mummies, is it a good idea to let newborn, and 18 mth toddler sleep together with us at night? i will be delivering next month - jun'08.. currently DS is sleeping in the same room. I dun wish for him to be sleeping with maid in another room...but dunno if it is a good idea to squeeze into our room.
definitely, not easy to be preggy and at the same time to have a toddler who is sticky with you. i suffered from back pain bcos carrying DS - difficult to reject when he crying for you to carry, need to be mindful of the limit :D |
Jenny (snowpooher)
Advanced Member
Username: snowpooher
Post Number: 9006
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, May 01, 2008 - 11:51 pm: |
|
I carried my #1 all the way till the day of delivery #2. #1 was clingy to me when I was preggie.
Regarding sleeping arrangement.
Both my #1 (then 19.5mths) and #2 slept together in the same room with hb and me. When #2 needed nite feed or diaper change, we just brought #2 to another room to settle, so won't distrub #1. It worked out well for the last 1.5 years before I moved both to their room recently. |
cuclainne (cuclainne)
Member
Username: cuclainne
Post Number: 1028
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 20, 2008 - 10:17 am: |
|
hi .. i'm a FTWM with two children - 15 months apart (my eldest is now 18 months, my youngest 3 months).
back when i was preggie with no.2, my eldest was in infantcare at my workplace and each evening of the work week, i would push her in the stroller, with bags back home (that time we were living near my office ~ about 15-20mins' walk). then when we arrive, i would fold the stroller up and carry her and everything else up to level 2 (our place was walk-up apartment). as my bump grew, i told the husband that i cannot continue with the routine because i'm having difficult carrying her up the stairs (nearly fell a few times) so we decided to move home - when i was 6 months' pregnant! hahahah .. thankfully now we're staying at a place where there's a lift at our floor.
yah, GP advised me not to carry my eldest but how not to?? we don't have maid or help and each time she stretch her arms out to me, i cannot push her away what ..
the eldest has slept in her own cot (in my bedroom) since birth. when we moved home, we had a spare bedroom for the kids - we had the intention of them sleeping in the same room together. maybe it was because it was a new environment (new home, own room) so it took a while for my eldest to adjust to sleeping on her own. my husband was a bit apprehensive about letting the small one sleep in the same room because we knew the baby would be waking up every few hours and thought it might disturb the eldest' sleep. initially we had the small one with us, but my eldest kept waking up and climbing into bed with us as well so we figured that we had to go 'cold-turkey' la. Now the two of them can really sleep in that room by themselves .. |
claraity (claraity)
New member
Username: claraity
Post Number: 3
Registered: 5-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 27, 2008 - 2:00 pm: |
|
I'm now currently 10.5 weeks pregnancy and I have a baby boy (turning 6months)... I really don't know how can i cope... coz they are 12months apart...anyone who is like me? Care to share your experience... Do u actually carry your no.1 baby while pregnant? |
cuclainne (cuclainne)
Member
Username: cuclainne
Post Number: 1064
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 28, 2008 - 9:30 am: |
|
hi claraity, yes i did carry my no. 1 when i was preggie with no. 2. at that time my no. 1 only knew how to crawl so it wasn't so easy to keep bending over to pick her up, esp. with a growing bump in the way. i had some staining with no. 2 and the doctor advised me not to carry heavy stuff, including my baby but i just cannot do so .. |
claraity (claraity)
New member
Username: claraity
Post Number: 5
Registered: 5-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, May 29, 2008 - 3:13 pm: |
|
oh i can understand the kinda feeling...is really sad not to hold ur baby since he/she still so small...btw did u care ur no.1 on your own at dat time?...currently my mom is taking care of him coz i feel tired most of the time and he is so active and always wana be held and walked around...and my hubby works 6days a week... |
cuclainne (cuclainne)
Member
Username: cuclainne
Post Number: 1069
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, June 01, 2008 - 1:52 am: |
|
yes, i cared for her by myself - my mom helps out with babysitting when i need her too but most of the time, it's just me and the husband who cares for her ... |
Lydia Lee (lydia_lee)
Junior Member
Username: lydia_lee
Post Number: 119
Registered: 9-2007
| | Posted on Monday, June 30, 2008 - 2:30 pm: |
|
Hi,
My 1st 3 kids was abt 13mths apart and my 4th one abt 2 yrs apart from my 3rd one..
The good point is they can grown up almost the same timing and can get along to play together.
Bad bad point is...they will jump & noti together...hehehe |
Ann K (2jays)
New member
Username: 2jays
Post Number: 1
Registered: 8-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, January 04, 2009 - 4:36 pm: |
|
My kids are 16 months apart. They are now 4 and 5+. I agree with Lydia Lee, they can now play together and fight together as well. Another advantage is that you don't have to keep all the baby equipments for a long time. When my second kid outgrew it, I got rid of them and got toys that are appropriate for both kids. |
dety herman (dety)
New member
Username: dety
Post Number: 12
Registered: 2-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, February 19, 2009 - 11:12 pm: |
|
my kids are 14 months apart. they are now 26 and 10 months old. it's really tough if im alone especially when i have to breastfeed the younger one. |
Zolldoll (zolldoll)
Member
Username: zolldoll
Post Number: 1776
Registered: 6-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 5:40 pm: |
|
Me also now 17 weeks pregnant and my son is 15 months old now. Really tedious for me as i still have to carry him as he has yet to learn to walk. And he wants me to carry him more instead of my hubby. I am so tired everyday. Pray it will all be over soon, tat they will grow up fast. |
Corinne Lau (corinlau)
New member
Username: corinlau
Post Number: 19
Registered: 6-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, March 01, 2009 - 12:32 am: |
|
Hi all mummies out there,
I am also currently expecting my 2nd one in Aug and my gal is now 13 mths, so they will be about 18 mths apart. I also had problem with the caretaking. Currently my gal is being taken care by my auntie who's staying in Teck Whye. I stays in Jurong with my mil. I am very reluctant to get a maid becoz when my gal was born, I have changed 3 maids in 5 mths becoz of my mil. Even the maids also cannot stand my mil and told me they want to leave. She simply cannot get along with maid and keep finding fault with the maid knowing jolly well that she herself also don't know how to take care of my baby. I quarrel with her over the maid issue and I sent the maid back as the last ultimatum. We have not been on talking terms since my gal was 5 mths old until now. That explains why my gal ended up being looked after by my auntie when she was 5 mths old. Since the 2nd one is coming along, my husband has been bugging me that we need a maid to cope but deep inside me, I am really really very reluctant to get a maid and don't want to clash with my mil again. I thought of asking my mum to quit her job and look after both of them as she's staying in bukit panjang, but my husband don't see eye to eye with the way my mum takes care of my gal, so to him getting my mum to take care of them is out, so that puts me in a very difficult position. My auntie, tho she's a babysitter, cannot handle my 2nd one that's coming, as she also currently taking care of another 4 yrs old boy day & night. So she's not able to help me take care of my 2nd one. My husband also don't want to let my older gal goes to childcare when she reaches 18 mths as he thinks he's still too young and will fall sick easily. Sigh, so I am really in a dilema as to how to handle when my 2nd one comes. He also wants to bring the children back every night, don't like the idea of not able to see them. Experienced mums out there, pls advise me what can I do? Do I really have to get a maid? Appreciate very much. |
Red Tulip (red_tulip)
New member
Username: red_tulip
Post Number: 96
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, March 01, 2009 - 10:24 am: |
|
Hi,
I think your husband is not helping much by shooting down every possible solution. If he don't like this and don't like that, ask him to think of a solution.
My son (currently 6 months) and daughter was born 19 months apart. It is really not easy looking after a baby and a toddler.
I will suggest still hiring a maid. The maid will go to your aunt's place everyday with the kids and come home at night provided your aunite do not mind. Since your husband wanted a maid, he is responsible to talk to his mum and solve any issues later on. You just stand aside and take good care of yourself.
I don't really like man hiding behind their wife, refuse to make decision and expect everything to fall into place and all their wishes taken care of at the same time. There are no such thing as the prefect solution. Maybe need to try out various arrangment when the time comes and fine tune along the way.
Sorry if I sound too harsh. |
Corinne Lau (corinlau)
New member
Username: corinlau
Post Number: 20
Registered: 6-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, March 01, 2009 - 7:27 pm: |
|
Hi,
Thanks for ur advise and frank opinion, sometimes I am also frustrated with my husband. Getting the maid to go to my aunt's place is a gd idea, didn't think of that. At least, this will reduce the conflict between the maid and my mil. |
claraity (claraity)
New member
Username: claraity
Post Number: 12
Registered: 5-2008
| | Posted on Monday, March 02, 2009 - 5:30 pm: |
|
hi Corinne, lucky u dat urs kids are 18mos apart...mine is only 11.5mos apart..now my boy is 14.5mos & my girl is 3mos..reali hectic for my mom so i no choice but hired a maid to help her whom will be helping me care both in the day while i'm back at work in 2 weeks time...haiz... actually if i'm u i'll put my elder kid in childcare...coz for his age 18mos...u can actually put him in childcare...coz u mentioned u got a bad exp in hiring maids right?..if u afraid he cant adapt..u can try half day..i tink it will be good as he can learn and mingle ard..moreover the fee is almost same as hiring a maid... |
pinksunnysummer (pinksunnysummer)
Junior Member
Username: pinksunnysummer
Post Number: 314
Registered: 1-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, March 22, 2009 - 4:15 pm: |
|
I have a one month old and a 19month old. Need to ask all mommies here- How do you deal with the guilt or how do you balance your attention btw the 2 of them?
I have a maid (and also a confinement nanny for 3mths) but I feel so bad when I leave one or the other with the helpers. I want to sayang them myself as much as possible but now time has to be divided 50/50... |
Connie (jasnie)
New member
Username: jasnie
Post Number: 58
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, March 26, 2009 - 1:38 am: |
|
Hi mummies
My boys are 17 mths apart... the elder one is 20mths and younger one is slightly over 3mths.
Will be returning work in 3 wks time and coz I'm facing problems w maids, so considering giving up on maids and finding alternative caregiver for my kids.
Both my MIL and mum's health is not well enuf for me to put both my kids with them. Currently coz I've a maid, the maid will go my mum's place w the kids and take care of them there. But since now I want to drop the maid, do anybody out there have alternative suggestions? Are there any child care centres that take in toddlers at any time, rather than waiting for next intake which I think is this year-end? Coz if my elder boy goes full-day child care, it may b a little bit manageable for my mum to look after the younger boy.
Also, does any moms here feels bad when you first bring your toddler to child care? How do you overcome this feeling? At the child care, he may not get the 100% attention as he could get at home though I know he can learn more and get to play when he's in child care. |
Red Tulip (red_tulip)
Junior Member
Username: red_tulip
Post Number: 105
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Friday, April 03, 2009 - 3:22 pm: |
|
Hi Pinksunnysummer,
Hope my this time, you already realised that a mummy's heart can be very big and love is always enough to go around.
I have 3 kids and the elder 2 know that I love them alot. I just ensure that i spent time alone with them everyday. During those time together, I give them all my attention. Hence, they are happy to play alone or do not cry for me when they saw me with their siblings. |
Red Tulip (red_tulip)
Junior Member
Username: red_tulip
Post Number: 106
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Friday, April 03, 2009 - 3:32 pm: |
|
Hi Connie,
Sometimes as mummies, we need to learn to let go. The moment they take their first step, they are already starting their own journey in life.
my son was 3 when he went to nursery, I was very proud when he told me he do not need me to come along anymore on the second day of school. Sad at the same times cos my little baby no longer need me as much as before.
All these are just part of them growing up. Being in the childcare is not that bad. Just ensure that you spent good time with him when he is back at home. I once read a book by a mummy, she said let them face the tough world outside so that they learn to take care of themselves. But provide your opened arms so that they know that if they failed, there will always a place called home |
poohy (poohy)
Advanced Member
Username: poohy
Post Number: 7766
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Friday, April 03, 2009 - 6:29 pm: |
|
red tulip,
I agree with u... a mother's heart is so big. When I had my first boy and was preggie with my girl when he was 7 months old, I felt guilty too, worried how can I balance etc. and always wonder I love my firstborn so much... do I have a capacity to love another.
But, right now, even with no.3, I know that in my heart, I love all 3 just so much... as much as I ever loved my firstborn. And I try my best to spend time with individual child, so that none will feel left out as much as possible. Our time is limited coupled with the hours spent working, but when we genuinely love them with all our heart, I think somehow our children can sense it. |
Red Tulip (red_tulip)
Junior Member
Username: red_tulip
Post Number: 107
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Monday, April 06, 2009 - 4:47 pm: |
|
Hi Poohy,
Yes, my aim is to provide a good family enviroment for them to grow up and love each other.
I had a wonderful time yesterday playing with my elder son and the 7 months old baby. We pretended to shoot each other with "guns" and the baby loves it. I think it is really one small step towards ensuing that they get along and learn to share and care each other. |
cuclainne (cuclainne)
Member
Username: cuclainne
Post Number: 1173
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 07, 2009 - 10:05 am: |
|
both my kids were sent to infantcare at about 2.5 months' old - my eldest is now in nursery and my youngest will be graduating to toddler this year.
when i was pregnant with my no.1, my mom has already told me that she cannot cope taking care of my child as she's already looking after my nephew. she's also not in the best of health and since we are not keen in having a live-in maid (we have a part-time cleaner instead), childcare was the solution.
it wasn't so difficult for me to let them go to childcare - it is in the same building as my office so the girls practically go to 'work' with me in the mornings .. hahahaha ..
plus i think it was better for them to socialise with children their age, with adults (their teachers) and learn/play instead of watching drama serials/ cartoons on tv all day long.
you can have activities for both children to participate in - like painting, or going to water parks. this way you can spend time with both of them and it won't feel like you're choosing one over the other. my eldest loves blowing bubbles and since the youngest just goes along with whatever the eldest does, their dad will bring them down to the field on weekends to blow bubbles .. |
bubbliciouslee (bubbliciouslee)
New member
Username: bubbliciouslee
Post Number: 88
Registered: 8-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 07, 2009 - 10:11 am: |
|
Hi Poohy,
Great to hear tat u are coping well.. ;) I am really amazed at how you handle your 3 kids!
Hi Corrine,
Yah, i also support the idea of employing a maid then send the maid with ur 2 kids to ur aunts' place. Back then when i had a maid, i also sent the maid and my 2 gals to my pils place then bring them home every nite.
Hi mummies,
Need some advice from u... I have sold my flat abt 2-3 mths back and have been staying wf my pils. I realised that my 2 gals have become so closely bond wf my mil that they are only willing to sleep with her everynite.. It is until they fall alseep then i carry them over back to my room.. My younger always cry for her grandma whenever she wants to sleep. Even thou when my mil is away she also insisted on sleeping in her room.. I am really in a dilemma and dunno how to handle this. I tried to spend time wf them every evening and eventually coax them to sleep in my room bt many attempts failed.. I also believe that my mil find it taxing to handle my gals every nite and I do not want her to feel that my gals are a burden.. Can anyone share how I should handle this?? |
Red Tulip (red_tulip)
Junior Member
Username: red_tulip
Post Number: 110
Registered: 12-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 08, 2009 - 1:00 pm: |
|
Hi,
How olds are your kids? I think bond with your mil is better than bonding with some other non family related people. It may be a phase, they may out grown it soon. Toddlers went through a period where they insist on doing something with someone everytime. For example, for my kids it must be daddy giving them vitamins every morning and I am not allowed do it for a few weeks.
Actually, don't have to worry too much about your mil since she still has a good night sleep when you carry them back to the room every day.
Suggest you play a game with them, such as guess where is the coin in your hand, if they guess correctly, they slepp with you that night. So don't have to argue or scold. |
mummyfel (mummyfel)
Junior Member
Username: mummyfel
Post Number: 403
Registered: 4-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 1:19 pm: |
|
Hi Mummies,
Im glad that I found this thread...Initially I was feeling so bad that my No. 1 is still so young when Im preggy with No.2!
By the time I deliver No.2, my boy will be 20mths old.
Have been feeling so guilty that I have to send him to Playgroup Full Day as I dont have any maid at home, and my mil nor my mum can cope with 2kids!
When I chanced upon this thread, I feel so relieved that Im not the only one out there facing this problem..
I guess we have to think at the positive side. They will have each other to accompany through their childhood. : P |
jynnsan (hugomum)
Member
Username: hugomum
Post Number: 567
Registered: 2-2009
| | Posted on Friday, February 05, 2010 - 5:18 pm: |
|
This thread help, i can be mentally prepare as by the time i deliver #2, my #1 is only 22 months. I only got a maid (provided she can stay till then) and nobody else to help. |
piggy mummy (piggy_mummy)
Member
Username: piggy_mummy
Post Number: 1298
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 - 4:54 pm: |
|
Hi,
Need advice from mummy here. I am FTWM (currently working as a temp. staff) and preggy with no 2, giving birth on sep. elder boy 25 mths now.
My problem is:-
Now elder taking care by mil with maid. He will be attending preschool next year (from 7.30 till 12.30 not at home, coz he take sch bus). But mil told me she can’t cope with no 2 even got maid help. Our thinking is since No1 going to sch, he not at home abt 5 hr, by rite they are able to cope, but….Me headache now, I come up with 3 options hope mummy here can help:
1) remain current situation: Maid and MIL take care of No1, then No2 go nanny
Because since he is taking care by mil n helper since he was 8 months, so he already get use to the environment. So not willing to have any changes to his schedule..
But I am very tight coz have to pay maid (abt 800, preschl abt 300, nanny 600)=1700 per month
2) both of them go nanny
elder we park at nanny for half day coz he is attending sch. Problem is my son coming to 2.5 yo next year, don know can use to nanny or not. Some more ask him to stay with stranger (nanny), quite kelian. And have to find a nanny who can take care of 2
(nanny half day $480 + full day $600 +presch $300)=1380
3) elder go cc, no 2 park at nanny
this is quite ok solution, and most of the parents suggest me. But me bu ren xin to put elder to cc. coz I find that quality of presch is better than cc. coz I feel if they attend presch, 3 hr perday, quite enuf for their age le..
(cc $500 + nanny for no2 $600)= 1100
Looks like option 3 is most workable and cheapest way.. but…
** my take home pay not high, that’s y headache now… |
Snowball32 (snowball32)
Member
Username: snowball32
Post Number: 764
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 02, 2010 - 4:22 pm: |
|
Hi Piggy Mummy,
I have 2 kids - 18 mths apart. When #2 came along, I employed a maid to help my MIL and my MIL shift to my place on weekdays. #1 goes to 3-hr playsch while MIL look after #2 and maid do housework.
When #1 comes back, maid already finished basic housework and can help look after both kids. I also trained my maid to cook dinner (so tat MIL not stressed out by cooking). This arrangement worked great for us.
I sent #1 to fullday CC when she was ard 3yo and #2 when she was 21mths old.
U may want to talk to your MIL again as I think if your #1 is away for almost 6hrs everyday, with your maid around, your MIL shd be able to cope with #2.
Just my opinion. |
piggy mummy (piggy_mummy)
Member
Username: piggy_mummy
Post Number: 1300
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, June 03, 2010 - 12:22 pm: |
|
Hi Snowball,
somemore my mil doesnt cook one, we buy outside dinner..so i really don understand y she cant handle it. my fil at home as well!!headache |
Snowball32 (snowball32)
Member
Username: snowball32
Post Number: 769
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, June 03, 2010 - 1:45 pm: |
|
Hi Piggy Mummy,
Mayb your MIL is one who enjoys freedom and also do not want to get tied down with kids.
I shd say I am quite lucky as my MIL is the easy-going type lah, tho' we also have to handle MIL-Maid & MIL-DIL relationship issues.
Maybe you can discuss with her to help out until your #2 turns 18mths and both kids go to CC then pblm will not look so big for her. |
Jen (snowpooher)
Senior Member
Username: snowpooher
Post Number: 12502
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, June 03, 2010 - 2:19 pm: |
|
piggy_mummy,
I agreed with snowball32. Yr MIL might be one who enjoys freedom and doesn't want to be "tied down".
My mum takes care both mine. When #1 arrived, #2 was at 19.5mths, and was into the stage of Terrible 2. When I returned to work after 3 mths maternity leave, #2 was 22.5mths old. My mum would call me every now and then to complain. I treated it as a way for her to fa xie, so I would just listened to her, though I very fed up too. I knew it's not easy for my mum to take care of 2 young ones (day and night some more!), it's a tough period but thanks to my mum who held on tightly until my #1 turned 3 to go preschool (3hrs). I arranged for bus transport for #1. Now, both kids go to preschool, leaving my mum a 3 hrs break each day (they still take sch bus cos I dun want to trouble my mum). I'm very thankful for my mum's support. It's her strong support that keeps me working, if not I would have quit years ago! |
milsound (milsound)
New member
Username: milsound
Post Number: 8
Registered: 6-2010
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 23, 2010 - 5:58 pm: |
|
My mum also enjoys freedom. It's my dad who looks after my kids.
#1 who is 19 mths old. # 2 is only coming to 3 mths old.
I will be returning to work next month. I worry my dad wont be able to cope with 2 kids. I am looking for a half day cc near my parents' block. The one nearby has no half day cc available. Haiz.
Considering a 3 hour programme for #1, I went to check. Intake only begins next year. Haiz.
Looks like i've to take leave here & there to help out abit. |
Soh (ezerecs)
Junior Member
Username: ezerecs
Post Number: 136
Registered: 10-2008
| | Posted on Monday, January 31, 2011 - 10:59 pm: |
|
hi, happened to chance into this thread.
My boys are 17months apart. The baby is 4 months old. We both work, grandparents do not live nearby and we have no maid. I got a nanny to come take care of the boys while we are out at work. She can handle the 2 very well. I work part-time. No wed and alternate friday. It is tough but with good organisation, it's not the end of the world. At first, everyone told me I got the courage to do take care of two without help. My mum kept saying "you poor girl". So I thought it was impossible or super tiring. Well, it was not that bad and I enjoyed the time with my 2 kids.
Hope this helps to console other ladies in same situation. |
lidya (strawbeans)
Junior Member
Username: strawbeans
Post Number: 317
Registered: 7-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, August 11, 2011 - 9:58 am: |
|
Hi, I happened to chance this thread, too. Though, a bit too outdated - here's my experience.
My boys are 13 mths apart. :-0
I quit my job to look after them. Not only look after my kids, I also have to do the other housework like laundry, cleaning, cooking, teaching.. Well, it is not easy indeed! U need to sacrifice a lot of things like watching TV, hogging on the laptop, talking on the phone with your friends.. But I did it! My boys are now in playgroup and nursery. They get along well because they grow up together. My husband has decided that I stay at home permanently, especially since I am pregnant with the 3rd one now.
So mommies out there, fret not! Kids can sometimes be a handful, but at the end of the day, it's worth all your time! :-D |
Motherhood, Pregnancies And Babies